The Parent Handbook

For parents and carers of 11 - 19 year olds
www.surreycc.gov.uk
Making Surrey a better place
At the beginning of each topic

youll find a list of useful contacts.
And if you turn to the yellow pages
towards the back of the booklet,
youll be able to find all these useful
contacts listed alphabetically.
Surrey Family Information Service

All families with children and young people
aged 0 to 19 years old (up to 25 years old
for young people with a disability or special
educational need) can use their free, impartial
information service.
The useful contacts were correct

when this booklet went to print
in March 2014. If you cant find
something you need, visit the Surrey
Family Information Directory at
www.surreycc.gov.uk/directory
This is the online directory of
services for families from Surrey
Family Information Service.
Contact
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t
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www.surreycc.gov.uk/fis
0300 200 1004
surrey.fis@surreycc.gov.uk
Keep in touch
Follow: @SurreyFIS on Twitter
Like: SurreyFIS on Facebook
The Parent Handbook
This is a reference book for mums,

dads, grandparents and carers of
11 - 19 year olds in Surrey.
Contents
05
09
13
17
21
25
29
33
37
41
45
Alcohol, drugs and substance misuse

Alone at home
Babysitting
Behaviour at school
Bereavement
Breaking the law
Bullying
Child abuse
Child employment
Depression
Divorce and separation
Contents
03
49 Domestic abuse
53 Eating disorders
57 Friends
61 Health and lifestyle
65 Independence
69 Internet safety
73 Lesbian, gay, bisexual &
transgender
77 Missing
81 Parenting
85 Personal safety outside the home
89 Private fostering
93 Puberty
95 School attendance
99 Self harm
103 Sexual health and relationships
107 Smoking
111 Special educational needs
and disability
115 Stress and anxiety
119 Young carers
123 Useful contacts
Alcohol,
drugs and
substance
misuse
Alcohol, drugs
and substance misuse
05
As a parent, your first

instinct might be to
think that only illegal
drugs such as cannabis,
speed, ecstasy, cocaine
and heroin are harmful
and addictive, but many
legal substances are too.
These include cigarettes
(see Smoking section),
alcohol and the misuse
of glue, petrol, aerosols
and medicines that
havent been prescribed
for you.
Useful contacts
Adfam
w
www.adfam.org.uk
t
020 7553 7640
Al-Anon
w
www.al-anonuk.org.uk
t
020 7403 0888

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Alcohol concern
www.alcoholconcern.org.uk
0800 917 8282
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk
0845 769 7555
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t
Families Anonymous
www.famanon.org.uk
0207 498 4680
NHS Live Well

www.nhs.uk /livewell/drugs
Royal College of
Psychiatrists
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t
www.rcpsych.ac.uk
Talk to Frank
www.talktofrank.com
0300 123 6600
Your child may take

drugs just for fun or to
be sociable, and in most
cases it wont lead to
addiction or death, but
there are lots of other
dangerous things that
can happen including:
poisoning by having too much alcohol
or drugs or mixing them together
having unwanted or unprotected sex
being robbed or attacked
getting into fights, driving illegally or
committing other crimes.
How to stop it before it starts

Be a good role model and dont expect your child
to do things that you are not doing yourself.
Before you talk to your child about drugs, make
sure you have accurate, up-to-date information
so you can tell them the facts about the risks and
they can make an informed choice. Have a look at
the websites recommended in our useful contacts.
What to look out for
Although the following signs dont necessarily mean
that your child has a problem with alcohol or drugs,
if they do you may notice they:
have mood swings
are bad tempered and aggressive
binge eat or dont feel hungry
stop doing sport, their hobbies, homework or
seeing friends
feel tired a lot of the time
start telling lies.
Other more obvious signs might include:
money and valuables starting to disappear from
your house
smells, stains or marks on your childs body or
clothes
physical evidence in their room or in their
belongings such as powders, bottles, tablets,
burnt tinfoil
or needles.
Who your child can go to for help

If they wont confide in you, suggest to your
child that they talk to someone they trust
such as:
a reliable close friend, grandparent, or
another close relative
a school nurse, teacher or school counsellor
a youth counsellor or someone at your place
of worship
your GP or practice nurse, who can refer
them on to relevant services, and will be able
to offer advice and support
someone at a local drug project.
Acknowledgments
The information on this page
is from the NHS and the
Royal College of
Psychiatrists websites.
Alcohol, drugs
and substance misuse
What you can do to help if you are worried

your child is taking drugs
There are different reasons why people take
drugs or drink alcohol so its important to
talk to your child and find out why they are
doing it.
If they claim they are doing it just to have
fun and be sociable then its important
that you explain to them that some drugs
are illegal and can affect their physical and
mental health.
If you think your child may be using drugs
to escape pressure at school or at home its
important to try and find a way to work
through these problems together and help
them manage these situations without drugs.
Let your child know that while you may not
approve of what they are doing, they can
always talk to you about any worries they
may have.
07
Alone
at
home
Alone at home
09
There is no legal age at which you may leave your child

at home alone, but it is an offence to leave a child alone
if it places them at risk. You can be prosecuted if you
leave your child unsupervised in a manner likely to cause
unnecessary suffering or injury to health.
Useful contacts
Gov.uk
w
www.gov.uk
NSPCC
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e
t
www.nspcc.org.uk
help@nspcc.org.uk
0808 800 5000
If you need to leave your child

home alone, make sure they are
happy to be left alone and are
mature enough to cope if there
are problems. If they arent
confident about being left alone,
then dont leave them.
Acknowledgments
The information on this page has been taken from
the NSPCC and gov.uk websites.
Alone at home
What you can do to keep your child safe

Think about the possible dangers in your home.
Think about how long you will be gone and how long
your child can cope on their own.
Make sure they know your mobile number and leave
them a separate contact list of people you trust, just
in case they cant get hold of you.
Tell your child what time you will be back, and let
them know if you are going to be late.
Set some basic rules about what your child can and
cant do while you are out.
Tell your child not to answer the door to anyone.
Make sure they are aware of the risks of dangerous
objects like matches and knives, as well as medicines
and dangerous chemicals.
Leave clear instructions for your child about what to
do in an emergency.
Make sure they know how to unlock doors and
where the keys are.
Teach them basic first aid.
Think about if your child will be alone or if other
children under 16 years old will be with them. You
might be happy to leave your child alone but not with
another sibling or friend who is under 16.
11
Babysitting
The law does not state when young people can look after
children. However, where a babysitter is under the age of 16,
parents remain legally responsible to ensure that their child,
and the babysitter, comes to no harm. If your child is thought
to be at risk because they are not being looked after properly
you could be prosecuted.
Babysitting
13
Useful contacts

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Advice Guide
www.adviceguide.org.uk
British Red Cross

www.redcross.org.uk
NSPCC
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e
t
www.nspcc.org.uk
help@nspcc.org.uk
0808 800 5000
Surrey Family Information

Service
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t
0300 200 1004
The Royal Society for the

Prevention of Accidents
(ROSPA)
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t
www.rospa.com/childsafety/inthehome
0121 248 2000
If you are thinking about

asking your older child to
look after their younger
brother or sister you should
make sure that they are
happy to do so and that
they are aware of their
responsibilities.
Research shows that when
older siblings look after
younger ones, they are both
more likely to get injured.
(Taken from www.rospa.com Aug 2010)
What you can do to keep your child safe when

you are using a babysitter
Think about using a babysitter that has been
recommended by someone you know, is reliable
and is over 16 years old.
If you do employ a babysitter who is under 16
years of age, you are responsible for their safety
as well as your childs.
Think about using a babysitter who has taken
courses in child development and first aid.
Think about choosing a babysitter who is
responsible, reliable, patient, kind but firm.
Tell your babysitter about possible dangers in your
home, or any specific medical conditions your
child has.
Tell your babysitter if you dont want them to
bring other people into your house, such as their
boyfriend, girlfriend or a relative.
Always listen to what your child has to say about
the people who have looked after them. If they are
not happy, find someone else.
If you have the slightest doubt dont use someone
as a babysitter.
Always come home at the time you arranged
or earlier.
If you decide to use a babysitting or nanny
agency always ask for at least two references and
contact them yourself. For more information on
all your childcare options, contact Surrey Family
Information Service (see useful contacts).
Acknowledgments
The information on this page has been taken from
the ROSPA, NSPCC, British Red Cross and Citizens
Advice Bureau websites.
Babysitting
If your child is over 16 and babysitting,

make sure that they:
understand their responsibilities as a babysitter and
would know what to do in an emergency, such as if
there was a fire
know some basic first aid and consider taking some
basic training in the safe care of young children, (see
British Red Cross in the useful contacts)
have the parents contact details and an alternate
emergency contact number
know you are available to step in and help in a crisis
know the child or children before they look after them
know what is expected of them and what they will
be paid
arrive on time
take their mobile with them if they have one, or let
you know the telephone number of the house they
are babysitting at
write down the routine, rules and details for looking
after the child
are always patient with the child
have a safe way of getting to the house theyre
babysitting at and home again.
15
Behaviour
at
school
Behaviour at school
17
Schools have clear guidelines about

how they expect their pupils to
behave but some children find these
rules difficult to follow. If your child
is getting into trouble at school or
finding it hard to cope there is always
a reason. By working together, you
and their school can find ways to
encourage positive behaviour.
Useful contacts

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t
Family lives
www.familylives.org.uk
0808 800 2222
Kids Behaviour
www.kidsbehaviour.co.uk
Parent Channel TV
www.parentchannel.tv
Surrey Family Information

Directory
w
How to stop behaviour problems before they start

Find time to talk to your child about school, their
friends and their interests.
Ask to see their planner or school diary regularly.
Support their education by going to parent meetings
and staying in touch with their school.
Try a parenting programme, face to face or online,
to learn new strategies and possible solutions.
You can find local parenting programmes by
searching the Surrey Family Information Directory
(see useful contacts).
Chat to other parents and share problems.
Ask for help from professionals such as your GP or
your childs teacher.
Signs to look out for
Your child maybe finding school difficult if they are:
having problems making or keeping friends or
making inappropriate friendships
being increasingly negative about school
and teachers
behaving differently or there is a change to their
appearance, mood or interests
getting more detentions or warnings from
their teachers.
Behaviour at school
What you can do to help

Accept that there may be a problem.
Find a time to talk calmly with your child about
your concerns.
Ask open ended questions such as how do you
feel school is going?.
Talk to your childs teacher. It might be a good
idea to ask for a meeting in school to talk about
your concerns and to find ways forward together.
If you are invited to a meeting at the school make
every effort to go, listen carefully and make your
own view points clear.
Tell your child that you will be working with the
school to support their plan.
If you feel that you need more help to manage
your childs behaviour, ask the school if they
have a behaviour support specialist teacher or an
educational psychologist you can talk to.
19
Bereavement
If someone close to your family is dying or has died, you may
be worried about talking to your child about death in case you
frighten them. But children need to talk about how they are
feeling and may want to know why or how the person died
and where they are now. Some children may prefer to talk to
their friends or people outside of their immediate family.
Bereavement
21
Useful contacts

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Child Bereavement UK
www.childbereavement.org.uk
0800 028 8840
Cruse Bereavement Care

www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
helpline@cruse.org.uk
0844 477 9400
Winstons Wish
www.winstonswish.org.uk
info@winstonswish.org.uk
08452 03 04 05
Different ways your child may react

to grief
Childrens reactions can be intense and
difficult to control. Your childs response
could be emotional and, or physical and
it may be very different to yours. If they
are in shock, they might sob or laugh
uncontrollably or start putting things away
and clearing up.
Your child may not accept or believe

that the person has died. You may
notice changes in their:
behaviour
mood
appetite
sleeping patterns.
It is common for children to feel angry
and find it difficult to describe or
understand how they feel, they could:
become aggressive
have tantrums
become disruptive at school
feel guilty
turn to drugs or alcohol
self harm.
Your child may experience:
depression
regression
illnesses.
Acknowledgments
The information on this page has been taken from the
Cruse Bereavement Care website.
Bereavement

Try to keep to normal daily routines.
Be honest and use language that is appropriate
to your childs age and understanding.
Allow your child to ask questions about death and what dying means, and
answer them truthfully.
Give your child time to grieve. Trying to distract them from their sorrow can
cause problems later on.
Give your child the facts about how the person died in a way they
will understand.
Avoid using metaphors for death such as, Dad has gone to sleep, this
could make your child afraid of going to sleep, or believe that Dad will wake
up one day and come back.
Talk to your child and include them in what is going on.
Encourage your child to share how they are feeling and what frightens them.
If you have lost your partner and your child becomes concerned about who
will pay the bills or look after them, reassure them that this is not their worry.
The emotions your child is experiencing may be very intense so encourage
them to express their feelings.
If you suspect your child is taking drugs or alcohol or self harming (see
Alcohol, drugs and substance misuse and Self harm sections) as a response to
their grief, seek professional advice from your GP, their school or look at the
websites in our useful contacts.
23
Breaking
the
law
Breaking the law
25
Once a child reaches 10 years

old, they can legally be charged
with committing a crime and be
subject to the legal process. And
if found guilty they will have a
criminal record.
Useful contacts

Advice guide
Search for young people and the law on the

Citizens Advice Bureaus online help service.
w

t
t
w
Surrey Police
emergency 999
non emergency 101
www.surrey.police.uk
Surrey Youth Justice Service

www.surreycc.gov.uk/youthjusticeservice
If your child is facing

criminal proceedings,
you should consult an
experienced adviser, for
example, at a Citizens
Advice Bureau.

Talk to your child about right and wrong.
Explain in simple terms about how they would
feel if someone stole something they valued, or if
someone attacked a member of their family.
Help them to understand the reality of how it
would affect your family life, and their future
success, if they get involved in crime.
These signs do not necessarily mean that your child is
committing crime but if they are breaking the law you
may notice that:
their behaviour changes
they have new friends you dont know and they
dont want you to meet
they have expensive items which you didnt buy
and you dont think they could afford
they have more money than you would expect
them to have
they look as though theyve been in a fight.
Breaking the law
What you can do if you suspect that your

child has committed a crime
Talk to your child about your concerns.
Ask them about any items they may have
or extra cash they cant account for.
If you suspect they have stolen something,
then try to find out who the rightful owner is
and encourage them to return the property.
Offer to go with them to do this.
Talk to them about the reason they did what
they did and ask them to imagine how they
would feel if it happened to them.
Contact Surrey Police if you suspect the
crime is serious and needs investigation or
intervention. This can be a worrying step but
involving the Police early can often turn a
child away from crime. The main aim of the
authorities is to guide children away from
crime, not to punish them.
If you cant deal with the situation find help,
see useful contacts.
27
Bullying
Bullying is behaviour by an individual or group, repeated
over time, that intentionally hurts another individual or
group, physically or emotionally.
Department for Education, advice to schools 1 Dec 2011
www.education.gov.uk
Bullying
29
Useful contacts

w
Anti-Bullying Alliance
www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk
Beatbullying
www.beatbullying.org
Bullying UK
www.bullying.co.uk
ChildLine
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t
www.childline.org.uk
0800 1111
Department for Education

Kidscape
w
t
www.kidscape.org.uk
08451 205 204
Bullying can be:

threats or intimidation
hitting, pushing, pulling or any unwanted
physical contact
stealing from someone
teasing, name calling or sarcasm
spreading rumours
not talking to someone and leaving them out
sending threatening or teasing texts, emails
or messages through social networks such as
Facebook or Twitter (see Internet safety section).
Your child is more likely to be bullied or become a
bully if they are unhappy or lonely so you can help by:
encouraging your child to take part in lots of
activities outside school, it will help their self
confidence to grow so they will be able to make
good friends
suggesting that your child brings friends home to
strengthen their friendships
keeping in contact with your childs school by
going to open days and parents evenings so you
know how your child is getting on
allowing your child to take some responsibility at
home by letting them look after pets, tidy their
room and get their school things ready the night
before. This helps them develop confidence and
independence (see Friends section).

There could be other reasons why your child is
behaving differently but signs they are being
bullied include if they:
complain of being unwell to avoid going to school
avoid certain children or activities
change their behaviour such as having
tantrums, wetting the bed, being moody or
bullying others
are unwilling to talk about school
come home with cuts and bruises, torn clothes,
or damaged or lost belongings
try to change their appearance such as refusing
to wear their glasses
take things or money from home to give to
other children
lose their appetite or start over eating
refuse to go to school.
What you can suggest your child does if they
are being bullied
Tell a friend or an adult they trust about what
is happening.
Try to ignore the bullying or say No really firmly
then turn and walk away.
Try not to show that they are upset or angry.
Try not to fight back if they can help it.
Try to think up funny or clever replies in advance.
Keep a diary of what is happening.
Block numbers if someone is sending nasty texts
Keep an eye on their privacy settings on social
networking sites, and only share information
with people they trust and want as their friends.
If your child is bullying other children:

Ask your child if they know why they are doing it and if anyone else is involved.
Let them know you still care for them, and that it is possible for them to stop.
Help them to say sorry and suggest ways they could do this to show that they
mean it, such as writing an apology letter.
Help them to accept the consequences of what they have done by imagining
how they would feel if they were the one being bullied.
Whether your child is being bullied or bullying others:
Take an interest in them so they know that you care.
Let them know that your are ready to step in if they need your help.
Concentrate on helping your child change their behaviour rather than trying to
find out who is to blame.
Bullying

If your child is being bullied:
Dont tackle other parents or children yourself, or suggest your child does,
it could make the situation worse.
Check your childs schools anti-bullying policy to see who at the school you are
meant to contact first, and then talk to that person.
Talk calmly to your child and reassure them that if they are being bullied, you
and the school will take them seriously and can help them.
Listen to your child, value their feelings and worries and make a note of what
they say has happened, who was involved and how often its happening.
Be ready to hear other sides of the story and listen to the schools solution.
Allow the school time to investigate and deal with the situation in a way they
feel most appropriate and arrange a time to meet again.
If the bullying continues check the schools anti bullying policy to see who to
contact at this stage.
Remind your child that no one deserves to be bullied and it is not their fault
if they are.
31
Child
abuse
Child abuse includes more than sexual and
pornographic activity, it also includes violence,
neglect and psychological or emotional abuse.
Child abuse
33
Useful contacts
NSPCC
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e
t
www.nspcc.org.uk
help@nspcc.org.uk
0808 800 5000
Stop it Now! UK and Ireland

www.stopitnow.org.uk
help@stopitnow.org.uk
0808 1000 900
Surrey Safeguarding Children Board

w
t
www.surreycc.gov.uk/safeguarding
0300 200 1006
The Lucy Faithfull Foundation
lucyfaithfull.org
If you think your

child, or any child,
is in immediate
danger call the
Police on 999.

Dont leave your child with anyone you are not
sure of and try and find out as much you can about
babysitters or their friends family before your child
stays with them.
Always listen to what your child has to say about the
people who have looked after them. If they are not
happy, find someone else.
Make sure your child understands what unacceptable
physical closeness and activities are, including being
photographed inappropriately.
Be aware that a child often knows the person who
is abusing them. They are likely to be trusted family
members, family friends, neighbours or babysitters.
Make sure your child knows how to keep themselves
safe online (see Internet safety section) and when
they are outside the home (see Personal safety
outside the home section).

If your child is unhappy about going
to a friend or carer, a regular activity
or being with a particular adult, talk to
them about why this is and make sure
they understand you believe them.
If you think your child, or any child,
is in immediate danger call the Police
on 999.
If youre worried but you dont think
the child is in immediate danger, call
Surrey Police on 101.
Someone from the Police or Surrey
County Councils Childrens Social
Care Service will talk to you about
your concerns and may ask for details
so they can investigate further. Social
services are required under law to
investigate concerns about child abuse
but it is rare for a child to be removed
from their family. Social services will
aim to get more support to the family
as well as making sure that the child is
kept safe.
Acknowledgements
The information on this page is from
The Lucy Faithfull Foundation.
Child abuse

There can be many reasons for
changes in your childs behaviour,
but you may need to investigate
further if your child is:
having problems sleeping
having nightmares
becoming withdrawn or
very clingy
showing personality changes such
as becoming insecure
wetting the bed
showing an unaccountable fear
of particular places or people
having outbursts of
unexplained anger
changing their eating habits
displaying physical signs such as
unexplained bruises or soreness
or sexually transmitted diseases
becoming secretive
becoming possessive and
protective of their mobile phone
stopping you from seeing what
theyre doing online
displaying sexual behaviour
towards other children, or with
toys or objects.
35
Child
employment
Until children reach the compulsory school leaving age, they can
only work a certain number of hours per week and only do certain
jobs. Your child cannot work at all until the age of 13, unless they
take part in paid sport, television, theatre or modelling.
Child employment
37
Useful contacts

Surrey Child Employment Team
www.surreycc.gov.uk/childemployment
childemployment@surreycc.gov.uk
01483 517838
e
t
Check with Surrey County

Councils Child Employment
Team (see useful contacts)
for clear guidance on what
jobs a child can do and when
they need a work permit or
performance licence (as its
quite complicated).
How to prepare your child for work
Children can gain a lot from working and most have a
good experience if they are prepared for what its
really like to go to work and the types of situations
they may face.
Explain that they will need to meet deadlines and get
things done to a certain standard.
Give them advice on how to handle difficult
situations.
Make them aware that they need to be polite and
disciplined in the way they do things.
Child employment

Most childrens experience of work will be positive, but it is a fact that there
are also people who will use the opportunity to exploit children.
At the beginning of the job or activity, meet the employer or teacher and
let them know that you will be staying for a while. Sometimes there will
be resistance to this, be polite but firm and insist on staying.
Make sure that you know what your child is doing.
Make a note of the times that they are working.
Be wary of any changes in your childs behaviour, physical appearance,
routine or habits.
If they want to leave their job or dont want to perform any more, dont
ignore it. If you keep telling your child to carry on you could be adding to
the problem.
Always ask your child how their day was and take time to listen to them.
They will only share as much as they want to. In most circumstances if
they dont say much its because everything is fine and they dont want
you to interfere.
Tell them that they dont have to put up with something that they are
uncomfortable with, that any form of exploitation or abuse is wrong and
if it does happen it is not their fault.
If there is something they are uncomfortable with and you feel out of
your depth remember that there are professionals who you can turn to
for help (see useful contacts).
39
Depression
Most people, children as well as adults, feel low
occasionally. Feeling sad is a normal reaction to
experiences that are stressful or upsetting. When these
feelings go on and on, or dominate and interfere with
your whole life, it can become depression.
Depression
41
Useful contacts
ChildLine
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t

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t
0800 1111
First Steps
www.firststeps-surrey.nhs.uk
0808 801 0325
NHS Choices
www.nhs.uk
Royal College of
Psychiatrists
w
www.rcpsych.ac.uk
Surrey Child and

Adolescent Mental Health
Services (CAMHS)
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www.surrey-camhs.org.uk
The Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
jo@samaritans.org
08457 90 90 90
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Young Minds
www.youngminds.org.uk
0808 802 5544
Depression is an illness
which is less common
in children under 12
years old, but increases
after that, affecting 1 in
every 20 teenagers.
Depression seems to be linked with chemical changes

in the part of brain that controls mood. These changes
prevent normal functioning of the brain and cause many
of the symptoms of depression.
Although the following signs dont necessarily mean
that your child is depressed, if they are you may notice
that they:
become moody and irritable, easily upset or tearful
avoid friends, family and regular activities
are self-critical and hate themselves
seem unhappy, miserable and lonely a lot of the time
talk about feeling hopeless and wanting to die
find it difficult to concentrate
stop looking after their personal appearance
change their sleep pattern, sleep too little or too much
are tired and have no energy
lose or increase their appetite
suffer from frequent minor health problems, such as
headaches or stomach aches
say that they are ugly, guilty and have done
terrible things
dont enjoy things anymore.
Sometimes youll need outside help

If the depression is dragging on and causing serious
difficulties, its important to seek treatment. Your family
doctor will be able to advise you about what help is
available and to arrange a referral to Surrey Child and
Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). CAMHS will
carry out a careful assessment and talk to you about what
is the right treatment.
Acknowledgements
The information on this page is from health professionals
in Surrey Child and Adolescent Mental Health
Services (CAMHS) and the Royal College of
Psychiatrists website.
Depression
It can be very hard for your child to put their feelings into
words, but it is important that they let someone know
how they are feeling.
Encourage them to talk to someone they can trust, and
who they feel understands.
Help them to keep as active and occupied as possible
and allow time for fun and leisure activities.
43
Divorce
and
separation
Separation or divorce is a worrying time for
children, they may blame themselves for what
is happening or become very angry with one
or both of you.
Divorce
and separation
45
Useful contacts
Cafcass
w
www.cafcass.gov.uk
ChildLine
w
t
0800 1111
Gov.uk
w
www.gov.uk
Family Mediation Service

www.sfms.org.uk
Relate
w
www.relate.org.uk
Young Minds
w
t
0808 802 5544
Signs that your child may be

finding your separation or
divorce difficult to cope with
include them:
becoming withdrawn
staying out all hours and
avoiding coming home
being distracted from doing
school work
getting into trouble at school
or with the police
experimenting with drugs
and alcohol
bullying and becoming
aggressive.

Reassure your child that they are still loved.
Be as honest as you can with them about what is happening.
Avoid blaming your ex partner and try to work together.
Agree an explanation for your separation or divorce and stick to it.
Plan your conversations with your ex partner, before you make any
changes to the living arrangements and do it together if possible.
Explain to your child that the breakdown in the relationship is about
you as a couple and not their fault.
Reassure them that not all relationships end in separation or divorce.
Talk to them as openly as you can and listen to how they feel.
Give them enough information. What they want to know will
depend on their age and maturity. Younger children often prefer a
simple explanation.
Try not to overload them with your worries.
Try to maintain a routine.
Plan and agree visits with the parent they dont live with and stick to
them.
Listen and respond to your childs feelings.
Talk to them about what is happening, or will/may happen.
Support them to keep in touch with relatives and close family friends.
Make sure they have all the essential things they need in the house
they are staying, such as clothes, toiletries and equipment for school.
And if possible and depending on your circumstances, toys and
other equipment for their hobbies and free time.
Divorce
and separation
What you can suggest they do

Talk to someone they trust from outside the
home like their teacher, a school counsellor,
a youth worker or a family friend.
Take up a new interest, activity or sport.
Keep in touch with their wider family like
their cousins or grandparents.
Maintain regular contact with the parent
they dont live with.
47
Domestic
abuse
One in four women and one in six men will be a victim
of domestic violence at some point in their lives.
(www.womensaid.org.uk and www.mankind.org.uk)
Domestic abuse
49
Useful contacts

w
t
Broken Rainbow UK
www.broken-rainbow.org.uk
0300 999 5428
ChildLine
w
t
0800 1111
ManKind
w

w
t
www.mankind.org.uk
Mens Advice Line

www.mensadviceline.org.uk
0808 801 0327
National Domestic Violence Helpline

w
t
www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk
0808 200 0247
Respect
w
t
www.respect.uk.net
0808 802 4040
The Hideout
www.thehideout.org.uk
Womens Aid
www.womensaid.org.uk
Domestic abuse is more than physical violence.

It involves the use of power and control by one adult
over another. Domestic abuse can affect everyone
regardless of race, age, gender or sexuality.
Domestic abuse takes
different forms, it is any act
of threatening behaviour,
violence or abuse which can
be psychological, physical,
sexual, emotional or financial.
The abusive person could
be bullying, sulking, blame
shifting, using force in sex and
claiming it to be playful, or
controlling your:
money
appearance
house
children or being cruel to
them
mail, mobile phone or
emails.
How domestic abuse could

affect your child
Your child could be traumatised
by seeing and hearing violence
and abuse against an adult.
They may be directly targeted
by the abuser.
Your child may take on a
protective role and get caught
in the middle.
In the long term they could
develop mental health issues
such as depression and anxiety,
or start to self harm.

Although none of these signs are
exclusive to domestic abuse, if
your child has witnessed abuse
they may:
change their usual behaviour
become withdrawn and tired
start to wet the bed
start to misbehave at home or
at school
not want to leave the house or
come back
start to bully other children
start using bad language
lose or be unable to make
friends
under achieve and truant
become reliant on alcohol or
drugs
start to self harm.
Domestic abuse
51
Signs that you are a victim of abuse

There could be other reasons why you have these
feelings but being the victim of abuse can lead to you:
feeling isolated
having low self esteem
becoming reliant on alcohol, anti-depressants or
other drugs
losing your independence and privacy
feeling threatened or manipulated
feeling that youre being pushed into a relationship
quicker than you feel comfortable with
becoming cut off from your family and friends.
How you can help your child
Explain that any form of abuse is wrong.
If they dont want to discuss things with you,
encourage them to talk to someone they trust
about their concerns.
Tell them about helplines and websites aimed at
them (see useful contacts).
Plan together what they should do when they
feel unsafe.
What you can do to

help yourself
You are not alone and you
can get practical help as
well as a sympathetic ear
from the contacts listed at
the beginning of this section
or your GP.
If leaving is the best solution
then it is a good idea to
pack a bag that includes
your and your childs birth
certificates, passports, bank
account details and any
other important documents
and leave it with someone
you trust.
When youre ready, take
yourself and your child to a
safe place such as a refuge.
Eating
disorders
We all have different eating habits. A large number
of these allow us to stay healthy but there are some,
which are driven by an intense fear of becoming fat,
which damage our health.
Eating disorders
53
Useful contacts
B-eat
w
t
t
www.b-eat.co.uk
Youthline 0845 634 7650
Helpline 0845 634 1414
ChildLine
w
t
0800 1111
NHS Choices
www.nhs.uk
Royal College of
Psychiatrists
w
www.rcpsych.ac.uk
Surrey Child and

Adolescent Mental
Health Services
(CAMHS)
w
The Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
jo@samaritans.org
08457 909090
e
t

w
t
Young Minds
0808 802 55 44
Eating disorders occur

more often in people who
havebeen overweight as
young children. And girls and
women are 10 times more
likely than boys and men to
suffer from them. But eating
disorders are becoming more
common in boys and men.
Eating disorders involve:
eating too much
eating too little
using harmful ways to get rid of calories.

Cutting down on food such as snacks, skipping
meals or not eating with the family.
Obsessive calorie counting.
Excessive exercise.
Unnecessary concerns about their weight or shape.
Going to the bathroom shortly after eating.
If you suspect that your child has an eating disorder
find out as much as you can as early recognition is
very important.
Make time to listen to your child and give them the
support and encouragement they need.
Check that your child is eating normal portions
of food.
See if there is a balance between how much they
eat and exercise.
Encourage them to talk about their concerns to
someone they trust.
Acknowledgements
The information on this page is from health
professionals in Surrey Child and Adolescent Mental
Health Services (CAMHS) and the Royal College of
Eating disorders

If you are concerned that your child has an unhealthy
eating pattern, attitude to food or body image speak
to your GP who will refer them for further help if they
need it. They will be able to advise you about what help
is available and to arrange a referral to Surrey Child and
Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). CAMHS
will carry out a careful assessment and talk to you about
what is the right treatment.
55
Friends
While some children have a large circle of friends, others are
happy to be on their own. Many children form close, long lasting
relationships because of shared interests but some have difficulty in
making friends and this can cause anxiety.
Friends
57
Useful contacts

w
t
Family Helpline
www.familyline.org.uk
0808 800 5678

Tell your child about your childhood friendships
and ask them about theirs.
Help them to understand that a real friend
is someone who will accept their ideas and
opinions and never pressure them to do anything
they dont want to do (see Bullying section).
Explain that good friends will be happy for them
to have other friends without getting jealous and
will keep in touch with them when they cant
meet or go to a different school.
Explain social skills and behaviours and how to
understand what someone really means. They
may be misinterpreting these or overreacting to
friendly teasing.
Teach them how to consider and cooperate

with others.
Make their friends feel welcome in your home and
dont judge their choices or force yours on them.
Make an effort to talk to other parents at their
school, this helps children to get to know each other.
Find local cultural, sports or group activities where
your child will make friends outside of school.
Try not to tell your child off in front of their friends if
it can wait, as this could humiliate your child.
Try not to interfere too much with your

childs friendships and social life. Let them
sort out their problems in their own way
whenever possible.
Friends
What to do if youre worried about who your

child is choosing to be friends with:
Dont ban friendships as you may make your
child more determined to carry on with them.
If you arent happy about one of your childs
friends, try to persuade your child not to go off
alone with that particular friend and encourage
them to meet in your home so you can keep an
eye on them.
Encourage your child to be wary of groups they
dont feel too sure of, as they can be led into
much worse behaviour when a gang is egging
them on.
Make sure your child always lets you know
where they are, and have clear rules.
When they are out, ask your child to let you
know if they move on from where they told
you theyd be, especially if they are alone.
59
Health
and
lifestyle
Its never too early or too late to establish a
healthy lifestyle. By making simple changes
in your familys eating habits and activities
you will soon see positive results.
Health and lifestyle
61
Useful contacts

w
NHS Live Well

www.nhs.uk/livewell
Surrey Family Information Directory

Having a family lifestyle that includes

healthy eating habits and lots of
activity together is a good start.
Most children learn by copying the
adults around them. Allowing them to
help prepare meals and doing things
together as a family, will help them
to develop good eating and exercise
habits for life.
Being active
The Governments Chief Medical Officer advises that children
should be physically active for at least one hour every day. Physical
activity is any movement that makes you feel warmer and out of
breath. It helps children develop strong bones and muscles and stay
at a healthy weight.
Try to build physical activity into your familys daily routine by
walking to school or using stairs instead of escalators.
Encourage your child to cycle or walk short distances or help
with the housework and gardening.
Try to be a good role model, if youre physically active, your child
is more likely to follow your example.
Help your child to find a regular sport or other activity they enjoy.
All the food we eat can be divided

into five groups. For your child to
get a balanced diet they need to eat
a variety of different foods from the
first four food groups listed below.
Its also important to have some
foods from the fifth group in
their diet because fats help the
body absorb certain nutrients, but
your child should only have them
occasionally and in small amounts.
1. Fruit and vegetables (five portions
a day).
2. Starchy foods, such as rice, pasta,
bread and potatoes. Choose
wholegrain varieties whenever
you can.
3. Protein foods such as meat, fish,
eggs, nuts, seeds and beans.
4. Dairy foods such as milk, yoghurt,
cream and cheese.
5. Foods containing fats (butter, lard,
margarine and oil) and sugar.

Try and cook meals from scratch and
encourage your child to help you to shop
for and prepare meals so they know exactly
what they are eating.
Encourage your child to drink water and
snack on fresh fruits, nuts or dried fruits.
If your child has school dinners, talk to them
about what they eat and try to encourage
them to vary their meals.
Look at information and advice on the
5 a day campaign (see useful contacts) and
plan family meals with your children with
this in mind.
Being vegetarian
If your child is vegetarian or vegan, its just
as important that their diet is balanced and
includes all the necessary nutrients.
Because meat, fish and chicken are traditionally
the main sources of protein, iron and some B
vitamins, vegan and vegetarian diets need to
include alternative sources of these important
nutrients. These include milk, cheese, eggs,
nuts, seeds, lentils and beans.
If you are concerned that your child isnt eating
a balanced diet, ask your GP for advice or look
online at the NHS Live Well website (see useful
contacts).
Acknowledgements
the NHS Live Well website.
Eating well
When it comes to a healthy diet,
balance is the key to getting it right.
This means eating a wide variety of
foods in the right proportions, and
consuming the right amount of food
and drink to achieve and maintain a
healthy body weight.
63
Independence
Even when your child is young you can start to prepare them for life as an adult.
Independence
65
Useful contacts

w
Advice guide
Gov.uk
w

w
t
www.gov.uk
National Debtline
www.nationaldebtline.co.uk
0808 808 4000
Shelter
w
t
www.shelter.org.uk
0808 800 4444
Preparing your child to live independently

Teach your child life skills like cooking, cleaning,
washing and food shopping.
Get them to start helping out with chores at
home. As they get older they can take on more
responsibility.
Teach them how to eat healthily, explain about a
balanced diet and show them how to prepare some
simple recipes (see Health and lifestyle section).
Independence
How to help them when theyre ready to leave home

Talk to them to make sure that they are moving out for the
right reasons.
Help them to find solutions to any fears they have about
moving out.
Teach them about budgeting and draw up a list together of
all the things they will need to pay for every month.
Help them find the right place to live and go with them to
look at places if they want you to. Check that their new
place is secure so that they feel safe.
Look over their rental contract before they sign to make sure
it is reasonable.
Once theyve left home, remind them that you are still there
to support them. Invite them over and take the time to visit
them. Encourage them to contact you, but give them a call
or a text too.
Give them a list of things they need to do, like registering
with a doctor or dentist and opening a bank account.
67
Internet
safety
As most children use computers from an early age both at
home and at school, their knowledge and understanding
of how new technology works is sometimes better than
their parents. And while children can be good at picking
up how to use technology, they dont always have the
experience to deal with issues that come up online.
Internet safety
69
Useful contacts
ChildLine
w
t
0800 1111
Parents Protect
www.parentsprotect.co.uk
Think U Know
www.thinkyouknow.co.uk

The types of behaviour listed below may just be
part of growing up, or caused by other things going
on in your childs life. You might need to check
if everything is ok, if your child is:
spending increasing amounts of time on the
internet
becoming secretive, particularly around their use
of the internet
shutting the door and hiding what they have on
screen when someone enters the room
not able to talk openly about their online activity
becoming possessive about their mobile phone
and concerned if someone else picks it up to
look at it
behaving agitated when answering their mobile
phone and needing to take the call in private
developing a pattern of leaving the family home
for long periods of time with no explanation
about where they are going
talking vaguely about new friends but offering
no further information
spending increasing amounts of time talking
secretively to a new friend online.
What you can do to help your child stay

safe online
When youre buying a computer or any hand held
device that can connect to the internet, find out
about parental control software which lets you
manage your childs computer and internet activity.
You can use it to restrict access to particular
programmes, limit computer access to certain times
and filter out inappropriate web content. This
kind of software is usually included free with your
computer but is also available to download from
the internet.
Mobile phone operators also offer free parental
control services to limit the kind of content children
can access through the mobile network to items
suitable for under 18s. Check with your service
provider that parental controls are enabled and if
they arent, ask for them to be switched on.
Whilst parental control software can help you keep
your child safe online, it is important to remember
that it shouldnt be used to replace supervision and
education and it will not deal with issues such as
grooming.
When your child is young, put the computer in a
shared space where you can always see the screen.
By doing this, you help them develop a pattern of
safe use of the internet by the time they are older
and want more privacy online.
Be open, take an interest in their internet use and
talk to them about what theyve seen just as you
might talk to them about a book or a film.
Internet safety
71
By sharing your experiences

of growing up and showing
that we all make mistakes
youll move a step closer to
them asking for your help if
they need it.
Make sure that your child
understands the danger of
meeting up with someone
they have only met online
whether that person says
they are a man, woman or
child and that they should
never go on their own.
Encourage offline activity too
where they get the chance
to socialise with their friends,
take part in physical activity,
do family stuff and develop
hobbies.

If they want to sign up to a social networking site

such as Facebook, help them create their profile.
Your guidance will help limit the amount of
personal information they give. The same applies
to email, chat or on a website. Get them to use
a nickname and make sure that its one that does
not identify their year or date of birth or has
sexual connotations.
Talk to them about the need to be careful of
friends online because they might not be who
they say they are. Get them to call people they
only know via the internet their e-friends so they
start to understand the differences between
online friends and friends from the real world.
Add helpful websites like Think U Know and
ChildLine to favourites, so that your child can
find them easily (see useful contacts).
Remind them not to give out personal information
about themselves such as their name, address,
telephone number, which school they go to or
details about their family and friends.
Encourage your child to question whether the
information they receive from people is true.
Remind them that they can tell you if they
become uncomfortable with anything that
happens on the internet. Letting them know that
you realise this may be difficult for them. They
may have said things they are embarrassed about
and wouldnt want you to know.
Lesbian, Gay,
Bisexual and
Transsexual or
Transgender
(LGBT)
There are a number of complex determining factors involved in

the sexual orientation of a child and its important to remember
that a persons sexuality is not a choice.
LGBT
73
Useful contacts

w
Equality and Human Rights Commission

www.equalityhumanrights.com
FFLAG
w
www.fflag.org.uk
Outcrowd
w

t
f
www.outlinesurrey.org
Surrey County Council

Type LGBT in to the search bar
www.surreycc.gov.uk
Surrey Police
Follow Laglo on Twitter - @SurreyBeatLGBT
www.facebook.com/SurreyPoliceLGBT
There are many issues faced

by young people in regards
to sexual orientation. They
may feel anxious or isolated
or possibly even experience
some form of bullying.
Generally these issues stem
from a lack of education or
understanding by peers.
Young people can feel that
they dont have support of
others, especially when they
are coming out.
It can be very difficult for family and parents, particularly if you are not
expecting to hear that your child might be LGBT, but there are organisations
that can help you understand and support them. (See useful contacts).
Discrimination
Many people worry that organisations and employers will discriminate
against them because of their sexual orientation, its therefore important to
remember that the Equality Act 2010 exists to protect people who are LGBT
from such discrimination. Discrimination against a person because of their
sexual orientation is no different from discriminating against people because
of their disability, sex, age or hair colour, theyre all a form of bullying.
Surrey Police have a team of LAGLOs (Lesbian and Gay Liaison Officers)
that are trained to provide advice and support for anyone facing difficulty,
including people that are Bisexual, Transsexual or Transgender.
Acknowledgements
This information has been supplied by the Surrey Police.
Sexual Orientation

The most important thing that you as a parent can do is support your child
and show them that you care for them. Many young people feel isolated
because they are gay, lesbian or bisexual, so support is vital to help give
them some stability and if you do this theyre more likely to open up to you.
Its important that you listen to your child, if they identify as LGBT, not doing
so could lead to them putting themselves in potentially vulnerable positions.
75
Missing
Three quarters of the children who
go missing each year have run away
from home.
There are many reasons why a child decides

to run away including:
arguments
poor family relationships
domestic abuse
(see Domestic abuse section)
lack of or too many boundaries.
(The Childrens Society)
Missing
77
Useful contacts

w
Child Rescue Alert

Missing Kids
uk.missingkids.com
Missing People
www.runawayhelpline.org.uk
NSPCC
w
e
t

t
t
w
www.nspcc.org.uk
help@nspcc.org.uk
0808 800 5000
Surrey Police
emergency 999
non emergency 101
The Childrens Society
www.childrenssociety.org.uk
What to do if your think your child has

run away
If you think they should be at home,
search the house and loft, including any
outbuildings and vehicles.
Contact friends and relatives to check if they
are with them.
Check if theyve left you a note, or message
by phone or email.
If you have access to their phone or
computer, check their texts and emails, their
call history, their social-network page and the
internet sites theyve been looking at, to find
out who they might be with or where they
might be.
Check places they usually go to.
If you cant find them once you have checked
ring 999 and report that they are missing to
the Police.
Where you can go for help if your child has run away
If you need advice because you are the parent or friend
of a young person who has run away, call the NSPCC
Helpline (see useful contacts). Trained counsellors
are available to offer support to parents and carers of
runaways. If you are still in contact with the young person,
the NSPCC can put them in touch with local social services
who should be able to offer help, including finding a place
for them to stay. They will also ask the police to help in
trying to make sure the young person is safe. The NSPCC
Helpline is open 24 hours every day and calls are free,
unless calling from a mobile phone.
How to react when your child returns home
Whatever the reason was that your child went missing, your
first reaction will be huge relief. This can quickly turn to
distress and anger. However difficult it may be, try:
not to react to your child while you are feeling like this
to wait until you are calm before deciding what actions
you should take
to remember that your child will also be feeling strong
and bewildering emotions
to keep in mind, that how you treat them will
significantly affect their recovery from what was a
distressing experience for them.
Child Rescue Alert is a partnership between Surrey

Police and local TV and radio and is supported by
local business. Local TV and radio have agreed to
interrupt a programme to issue an alert message
when asked to do so by the Police. As many details
as possible will be given in the message so the
public can immediately help the police look for the
child, offender or any vehicle involved.
When would an alert be launched?
The Child Rescue Alert scheme has four criteria
which must be fulfilled before it is launched:
1. The child is under 18 years old.
2. There is a belief that the child has been abducted.
3. There is a belief that the child is in imminent
danger of serious harm or death.
4. There is sufficient information available for the
public to help police find the child, (for example a
vehicles registration number is known).
A senior police officer

(of at least the rank of
superintendent) will judge
whether those criteria have
been met before authorising
an alert. Once this decision
has been made, the
message will be passed
immediately to all local TV
and radio stations.
Acknowledgements
The information above is
from the Surrey Police
Child Rescue Alert
webpage.
Missing
What to do if your think your child has

been abducted
Call 999 immediately. Surrey Police operates Child
Rescue Alert for children who may have been
abducted. This is designed to activate a fast response
to help find them before they come to any harm.
79
Parenting
Children need positive discipline to keep them safe, raise their
self-esteem, help them to build self-control and self-discipline, behave
appropriately, fit into society and to get on with other people.
Parenting
81
Useful contacts

w
t
Family lives
0808 800 2222
NSPCC
w
e
t
www.nspcc.org.uk
help@nspcc.org.uk
0808 800 5000

When your child gets a positive response for appropriate behaviour they are more likely to
repeat it and for it to become their natural way of behaving.
Try to:
support, encourage and praise your child for their efforts
focus on what they do right
comment on your childs poor behaviour rather than making personal criticisms
about them
give positive feedback by being affectionate, giving praise, encouragement, attention,
treats and privileges
be a good role model
be clear and consistent so that your child knows the difference between right and wrong
respect your child
have clear and age appropriate expectations
try to work things out
make it clear to your child that there are boundaries and limitations and keep to them
spend time together as a family
teach your child that there are consequences to inappropriate behaviour and tell them
what they might be, so they are able to make a choice
allow your child to make choices and decisions.

Parenting
Why smacking doesnt work

Smacking does not teach your child to
behave any better but instead:
gives a bad example of how to handle
strong emotions
may lead your child to hit or bully others
may encourage your child to lie, or hide
feelings, to avoid smacking
can make behaviour worse, so discipline
gets even harder
can lead to your child becoming
resentful and angry.
83
Personal
safety
outside
the home
The more prepared your child is before going out on their own,
the safer theyll be. Its important that children are not given
the message that they should only avoid strangers, as this may
give them the impression that everyone else, no matter how
vaguely they know them, is safe.
Personal
safety outside the home
85
Useful contacts

t
Surrey Police
emergency 999
non emergency 101
Search for personal safety
on the Surrey Police website.
w
t
Suzy Lamplugh Trust

www.suzylamplugh.org
The Royal Society

for the Prevention of
Accidents (ROSPA)
w
www.rospa.com

Ask them to let you know where they are going, who with and what
time they expect to return.
Try asking them what if questions such as, What would you do if you
got lost and then talking through the answer together.
Talk about the safest routes home.
A good idea is to have a family password that you can give to someone
picking your child up in an emergency situation and which your child
recognises. Your child would then know that in this case it was okay to
go with them, even though you hadnt arranged it earlier.
Talk to your child about being aware of possible dangers.
Talk about how the way they behave can increase their risks of becoming
a victim of crime. Such as, showing off their new phone or personal
music player in a crowd, walking off alone to use their phone, being too
friendly with a stranger or accepting lifts from people they dont know at
all or not very well.
Encourage them not to take any expensive items with them when they
go out.
Check that they can contact you and that they know where you will be if
youre planning on going out too.
Avoid wearing headphones or

chatting on a mobile phone when
walking down the street alone as
they need to be alert and will not
hear trouble approaching.
Carry a personal safety alarm.
Stick to busy, well lit streets
whenever possible and avoid
alleyways, subways, isolated parks
or waste grounds.
Take the safer route, even if
its longer.
Trust their instincts, so if they feel
threatened, they head for a safe
place where there are lots of people.
Dont assume they are safe until
they are in their house.
Avoid long waiting times at bus
stops and stations by checking
timetables before leaving home
or staying in a busy place until the
bus, train, tram or taxi
is due.
Call 999 straight away if they feel
threatened or unsafe.
Acknowledgements
the Suzy Lamplugh Trust.
Personal
safety outside the home

when they are out
Tell you where they are going and
where they may end up later.
Plan ahead so they know the best
way to get there.
Stay with their friends, keep an
eye on each other and dont go
off alone or with people they
dont know.
Keep any expensive items they
have with them out of sight.
Be more alert and cautious if in
an unfamiliar place, than if they
were at a friends house.
Call you to let you know where
they are.
Never accept drinks from people
they dont know or leave their
drink unattended. And if their
drink looks or tastes odd, that
they dont drink it.
If they feel ill after drinking, that
they get help straight away from
a friend or a member of staff.
Avoid going anywhere with,
or accepting a lift from anyone
theyve just met or dont know
very well.
87
Private
fostering
A private fostering situation is when a child or young person
under the age of 16 (or under 18 if they are disabled), is cared for
and provided with accommodation for 28 days or more, in one
year, by an adult who does not have parental responsibility or who
is not a close relative.
Private fostering
89
Useful contacts

Somebody Elses Child
www.privatefostering.org.uk
w
t
www.surreycc.gov.uk/fostering
0300 200 1006
Private fostering is
different from public
fostering as the
arrangement is normally
organised between the
parent and carer. Public
fostering would involve
children who are in Surrey
County Councils care.
How to recognise if you are in a private

fostering situation
If you are caring for or providing accommodation
for a child because:
their parents live abroad and have sent them to
this country for education or health care
their parents work or study for long and/or
antisocial hours
their parents have separated or divorced or
because of other problems at home.
they are your son or daughters girlfriend or boyfriend.
And the child is not a close relative (see definition of a
close relative) or you do not have parental responsibility
for the child, you may be in a private fostering situation.
For private fostering the phrase

close relative means:
an aunt or uncle
a step parent
a grandparent
a sibling.
What you need to know about the law

Since 2005 the law has required that parents, private
foster carers and professionals, tell Surrey County
Council of any proposed private fostering arrangement
six to thirteen weeks before it starts, or immediately if
the arrangement is starting within six weeks or is an
existing arrangement.
For private fostering the phrase

close relative, does not mean:
a cousin
a grand aunt or uncle
a family friend.
Surrey County Council has a legal duty to make sure

that any child or young person is in a suitable and safe
private fostering arrangement. They will make regular
visits to the child and their private foster carer, and can
provide help and advice where necessary.
Private fostering
What you can do next

If your child is, or will be, in a private fostering
arrangement, or you are going to be a private
foster carer, please contact Surrey County
Council. If you are aware of a child who may
be in a private fostering arrangement, or who
may potentially be placed in a private fostering
arrangement, you should contact Surrey
County Council (see useful contacts).
91
Puberty
Puberty is a process of physical and emotional changes,
triggered by hormones, when a child becomes an adult. It
usually happens between ages 8 and 14 (average age 11)
for girls and ages 9 to 14 (average age 12) for boys.
Puberty
93
The changes brought about by
puberty can lead children to feel
anxious and worried about how
they look and sound. It could be
because theyre not experiencing
the same changes as their friends
at the same time.
Talking about puberty with your child can be
embarrassing so find out the facts about puberty. At
least then youll feel more confident when it crops up.
Pick up information leaflets from your childs school, GP
or visit the NHS Choices website.
Your child can get information written for and about
them on the NHS Choices website, or see what books
are available from Surrey Libraries.
Try to adapt your routine and your relationship with
them to take account of inevitable changes such as
needing more sleep or privacy.
Useful contacts

w
NHS Choices
www.nhs.uk/conditions/puberty
School
attendance
There are a number of reasons children may have poor
attendance at school and these include poor health,
reluctance to go, truanting or parental neglect.
School attendance
95
Useful contacts
Beatbullying
w
ChildLine
w
t
0800 1111

Surrey Schools
www.surreycc.gov.uk/schools
According to the Department for Education (July

2011), Persistent absence is a serious problem
for pupils. Much of the work children miss when
they are off school is never made up, leaving these
pupils at a considerable disadvantage for the
remainder of their school career. There is also clear
evidence of a link between poor attendance at
school and low levels of achievement:
Of pupils who miss more than 50 per cent of
school, only three per cent manage to achieve
five A* to Cs including English and maths.
Of pupils who miss between 10 per cent and
20 per cent of school, only 35 per cent manage
to achieve five A* to C GCSEs including English
and maths.
Of pupils who miss less than five per cent
of school, 73 per cent achieve five A* to Cs
including English and maths.
Signs that all may not be well at school

There could be other reasons why your child is
behaving differently but signs that all is not well at
school include if your child is:
showing reluctance to go to school
making random excuses for not wanting to go to
school such as the fact that they feel unwell when
there is no real evidence of illness
having difficulty sleeping
displaying general anxiety about school issues such
as homework, teachers, lunchtimes or travelling to
and from school
falling out with friends
unhappy and tearful at the prospect of going
to school.
Good examination results improve young

peoples options and good attendance
suggests to colleges and employers that
these students are reliable.
What you can suggest

they do
If your child wont talk to you
about it, encourage them to
speak to someone they trust
for example, reliable friends or
their form tutor.
If they are falling behind with
work, suggest they speak to
the subject teacher or their
form tutor and ask for help.
Dont let bullying stop them
from getting their education
and encourage them to tell
someone and seek help if they
dont want to confide in you
(see Bullying section).
After a long period of time
off due to sickness, arrange
a meeting with the school to
help them catch up with work.
School attendance
What you can do

Make sure your child has the correct uniform,
PE kit, school bag, pencil case, books.
Encourage them to get into a good routine of
packing their bag the night before.
Make sure they have a space to do homework
and help them to do their homework but dont
do it for them.
Take an interest in your childs education by
going to parent evenings.
Make time to talk to your child about their day.
Put your childs timetable on their bedroom
wall or the kitchen wall and encourage them
to check it each day to make sure they have
the right books and equipment.
Check your childs planner to make sure they
have completed set homework on time.
Contact the school if your child is worried
about something that is causing them to be
reluctant to go to school.
Make sure you know the name of your childs
form tutor and head of year (secondary school).
Let your childs school know about reasons
for absence and a likely return date as soon
as possible. Do this on the first day of the
absence and then daily, depending on
the school.
Make medical or dental appointments after
school hours wherever possible.
Make every effort not to take holidays during
term time, as this can affect your childs
education.
Contact your schools Education Welfare
Officer, if you need help or advice about
attendance issues.
97
Self
harm
Self harm is a term used when someone injures or harms

themselves on purpose, rather than by accident. Common
examples include overdosing on drugs and alcohol, hitting,
cutting or burning, pulling hair or picking skin.
Self harm
99
Useful contacts
ChildLine

w
t
0800 1111

First Steps
0808 801 0325
National Self-Harm Network
www.nshn.co.uk
NHS Choices
www.nhs.uk
Royal College of Phychiatrists

www.rcpsych.ac.uk
Surrey Child and Adolescent

Mental Health Services
(CAMHS)
w
The Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
jo@samaritans.org
08457 909090
e
t

w
t
Young Minds
0808 802 5544
Self harm is often kept

secret but there may be
clues, such as refusing to
wear short sleeves or to
take off clothing for sports.

Talk to your child if they seem upset, withdrawn or
irritable. Encourage them to talk about their worries
and take them seriously. Show them you care by
listening, offering sympathy and understanding,
and helping them to solve their problems.
Buy medicine in small amounts and in blister packs.
This helps prevent impulsive overdoses.
Keep drugs, alcohol and knives locked away.
You can help practically by checking to see if
injuries (cuts or burns for example) need hospital
treatment and if not, by providing them with clean
dressings to cover their wounds.
Try to remain calm and caring so your child knows
that they can come to you for help and support.
If you feel overwhelmed and unable to help your
child, seek advice from your GP. They will be able to
advise you about what help is available and to arrange
a referral to Surrey Child and Adolescent Mental
Health Services (CAMHS). CAMHS will carry out a
careful assessment and talk to you about what is the
right treatment.
Self harm
Acknowledgements
The information on this page is from health professionals in
Surrey Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services
(CAMHS) and the Royal College of Psychiatrists website.
101
Sexual
health and
relationships
Its important to talk about sex with your child. Although
tricky, these conversations will help them to make safe
decisions and feel confident enough to talk about sex,
relationships and contraception.
Sexual
health and relationships
103
Useful contacts

w
Family lives
familylives.org.uk/advice/got-a-teenager/sex
NHS Direct
www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk
NHS Live Well

www.nhs.uk/livewell/sexualhealthtopics
For information about how you can get a

free Chlamydia test in Surrey visit
www.gocheckyourself.com
How to get the

conversation started
Start early by answering younger
childrens questions simply and
continue the conversation as they
grow older.
Ask your child what they think, so
you know what they already know
and think, and can give answers and
advice that they can understand.
Use every day media to start
conversations, such as soaps, adverts
and magazines. Its sometimes easier
to start talking about other people.
Find out when sex and relationships
are being taught at school, so that
you can talk about it afterwards.
It is possible they may have
misunderstood some of it and
felt too embarrassed to ask about
something they wanted to know.

Talk about feelings and relationships, not just the biology and
let your child know what you think and believe.
Talk when you are doing every day things together like
washing up, walking somewhere, or setting the table, so that
it is a normal part of family life.
Talk to other parents about how they answer difficult
questions and how they feel about difficult issues.
Let your child know about the importance of considering the
needs, feelings and wishes of people in relationships and how
much fun it can all be.
Ask them to think about waiting until they are sure they want
to have sex with someone they care about.
Remind them that the responsibility for contraception and
safer sex is a shared one, between them and their partner.
Its normal for young people to wonder about being lesbian
or gay. Try to stay open and accepting and keep talking. If you
find this difficult, look for information and support
(see useful contacts).
Young people with low confidence and self esteem may take
more risks with sex, get hurt or exploited or hurt others. If
your child is vulnerable, give them as much love and support
as you can, and look for help if you need it (see useful
contacts).
Remind your child about the risks of having sex without
protection against pregnancy or infection.
Remind them that they dont have to have sex if they dont
want to.
Tell them that they are more at risk of forgetting to use
protection
or being taken advantage of when they use alcohol or drugs.
Try to make your child feel confident, attractive and loved.
Avoid making them feel stupid, frightened or ashamed.
Tell your child they can get information written for them,
either from their school, health centre or on the websites in
the useful contacts.
Pregnancy
It can be a huge shock to find out that
your teenage daughter is pregnant, or your
son is about to become a dad. You may feel
angry but this is a time when they need your
support the most and its important for your
child to feel that they can confide in someone.
You can get tested for STIs at a sexual

health clinic, GUM (genitourinary
medicine) clinic or GP surgery.
Confirm there is a pregnancy as some home

tests are not 100% accurate. You can get a
pregnancy test at your local family planning
clinic or GP surgery.
Your child can access confidential
advice from their GP or practice nurse, a
contraception and sexual heath clinic or
NHS Direct (see useful contacts).
Help your child to find out what their
options are and to think carefully about
what is best for them.
Try not to put pressure on your child,
remember they are the one that may
become a parent and have the right to
chose what to do.
Encourage your child to make a decision
about what they want to do as soon as
possible.
Chlamydia is the most common STI in

the UK in young people. Most people
infected have no symptoms at all,
so will not know they have it. If left
untreated, it can lead to long term
complications such as infertility for men
and women. For information about
how you can get a free Chlamydia test
in Surrey see useful contacts.
Other infections include genital warts,
genital herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis,
HIV, pubic lice and scabies.
For more information about STIs and
how to get help, see useful contacts.
Sexual
health and relationships
Sexually Transmitted
Infections (STIs)
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
are diseases passed on from one
person to another through unprotected
sex (sex without a condom) or
sometimes through genital contact.
105
Smoking
Buying tobacco and cigarettes is illegal under the age of 18 years, yet more
than 15% of 15 year olds in England are known to be regular smokers.
Smoking
107
Useful contacts

w
Cancer Research
www.cancerresearchuk.org
Quit
w
www.quit.org.uk
Smokefree
w
www.smokefree.nhs.uk
More than a fifth of adults smoke and nearly a third

of all cancer deaths are caused by smoking. It is also
the main cause of heart disease and stroke.
Factors that encourage children to smoke include, having parents or other family members
and friends who smoke, and problems at school.

Talk to your child about smoking before they face the temptation to smoke.
Make sure your child is aware of the effect smoking has on their health. And that it will
give them bad breath, make their clothes smell and has a premature ageing effect.
Explain that people who breathe secondhand smoke are at risk of the same diseases as
smokers. Even if you open a window, secondhand smoke will still be present in a room
after two and a half hours. Smoking in a car is even worse because all of the smoke is
concentrated into a small space.
How you can help

Dont overreact if you find out your child is smoking,
remember its an addiction so they wont be able to stop
overnight and theyll need support from you and the rest of
the family.
See useful contacts, for services to help your child stop
smoking or contact your GP for advice.
If you are a smoker yourself maybe you could consider
giving up together.
Smoking
What to look out for if you think your child is smoking

If you can smell smoke on your child on a regular basis,
which isnt explained away by the fact that theyve been
spending time with people who smoke.
If your child has mood swings or is unusually irritable, it
could be as a result of nicotine cravings.
If your child seems to be leaving earlier for school or college
and seems to be taking longer to arrive home for no
specific reason.
109
Special
educational
needs and
disability
If you think that you need some expert advice about your childs
development, talk to your childs teacher and your GP. They might refer
you for an assessment by Surrey County Councils Childrens Social Care
Service. Once your childs needs have been assessed, Childrens Social Care
have a duty to meet the assessed needs if certain conditions are met.
Special educational
needs and disability
111
Useful contacts
w
e
t
Contact a family
www.cafamily.org.uk
helpline@cafamily.org.uk
0808 808 3555
Gov.uk
w

w
t
www.gov.uk
Surrey Childrens Social Care

www.surreycc.gov.uk/socialcare
0300 200 1006

www.surreycc.gov.uk/senanddisability
Surrey Family Information Directory

Surreys Parent Partnership

www.surreyparentpartnership.org.uk
Education
Many disabled children have special educational needs (SEN) and some
parents feel that the local school is the best place for their child. However,
there are other options including special schools and home education. To
find out more, contact Surrey Parent Partnership (see useful contacts).
The Department for Education SEN Code of Practice, sets out how schools
should identify and assess childrens special educational needs. Most
children will have their needs met at school action or school action plus,
which are school-based stages of the Code of Practice. At this stage
children will have an Individual Education Plan (IEP) which sets out learning
targets and monitors their progress.
Specialist or significant additional help may be identified through a
statutory assessment, which is also part of the Code of Practice. This
is when all information and advice gathered about your child, will be
considered to decide if they need a statement of special educational needs.
Who you can contact for help

Surrey Parent Partnership can offer advice about how your
child can be supported at school. They can also advise
about applying for a statement of special educational
needs, which can ensure that your child receives the right
support, see useful contacts.
Local and national parent support groups for children with
special educational needs and disabilities are listed in the
Surrey Family Information Directory, see useful contacts.
Special educational
needs and disability
Becoming an adult
If your child has a statement of special educational needs,
their school will hold a transition review in year 9, when
they reach 14 years old. This review will look at your childs
needs for training and employment after they turn 16 and
will include a transition plan. For more information see
useful contacts.
113
Stress
and
anxiety
Children and young people have all sorts of strong feelings
about what is happening to them. Its natural for them to feel
fearful or worried from time to time. However, some develop
phobias or severe anxiety, which causes a lot of distress and
can seriously affect the way they lead their lives.
Stress and anxiety
115
Useful contacts
ChildLine
w
t

w
t
0800 1111
First Steps
0808 801 0325
NHS Choices
www.nhs.uk
Royal College of Phychiatrists

www.rcpsych.ac.uk

Mental Health Services
(CAMHS)
w
The Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
jo@samaritans.org
08457 90 90 90
e
t

w
t
Young Minds
0808 802 5544
Some children and young people feel anxious most of the time
for no apparent reason. It may be part of their temperament,
or it may be part of a pattern of behaviour that is shared with
other members of their family.
Although the following signs dont necessarily
mean that your child isnt coping, if they arent
you may notice that they:
seem fearful or panicky
complain of being breathless, sweaty, or having
butterflies or pains in their chest or stomach
are tense, fidgety, and constantly need
the toilet
are afraid of going to school
find it difficult to concentrate
lack confidence with other people.

Prepare your child in advance for big changes or
problems ahead by explaining what is going to
happen and why.
Introduce regular routines around bedtime and
getting ready for school to help your child with
separation anxiety.
Look out for books or games that can help your
child understand upsetting things, such as serious
illness, separation or what happens when someone
dies (see Bereavement section).
If they find it helpful, encourage them to talk about
their worries to an understanding adult, which
could be someone outside your immediate family.
Give them extra comfort, reassurance and practical
help with how to cope.
Stress and anxiety
117

All families have times when they have to deal
with a lot of stress and worry. At times like these,
you or your child might need extra help and
support from friends, family members or others.
If your child is so anxious that they cant cope
with ordinary day-to-day life, more specialist help
is needed. Your GP will be able to advise you,
and may suggest a referral to the local Child and
Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). The
type of specialist help offered here will depend
on what is causing the anxiety but it will probably
involve finding ways of overcoming the worries
and building your childs confidence step by step.
Parents are usually encouraged to be actively
involved in helping their children manage anxiety
and advised how to do this effectively.
Acknowledgements
The information on this page is
from health professionals in
Mental Health Services (CAMHS)
and the Royal College of
Young
carers
Young carers are children under 18 who
care or intend to care, assist or support
another family member.
Young carers
119
Useful contacts

w

w
e
t
NHS Choices
www.nhs.uk/carersdirect
Surrey Young Carers

www.surrey-youngcarers.org.uk
syc@actionforcarers.org.uk
01483 568 269
Young Carers
www.youngcarers.net
Young carers carry out, often on a regular basis, significant or substantial caring tasks and
take on a level of responsibility, which would usually be associated with an adult. The person
receiving care is often a parent but can be a sibling, grandparent or other relative who is
disabled, has some chronic illness, mental health problem or other condition connected with
a need for care, support or supervision.
What you can do to make their life easier
It is important that young carers get the right support to make sure that their caring role
doesnt have a negative impact on their well being and life chances. So if you feel that your
child, or a child you know, is affected, let your GP or social worker know.
Theres sometimes a mistaken

belief that a child will be taken into
care if professionals are informed.
The reality is that the family is
more likely to be able to get more
help as soon as they need it.
Young carers

Just realising that there are other young people in a similar
situation can be a massive relief for a young carer.
Suggest that they speak to someone they trust such as a
teacher, youth worker, or family friend.
If they are confident enough, suggest that they call
Surrey Young Carers (SYC) for advice and information or
email them a question, see useful contacts.
Suggest that they get involved in the Surrey Young
Carers Forum. This is a countywide group of young
carers aged 12 and over, who meet at regular intervals
throughout the year to give their views on matters about
the service SYC provide.
Encourage them to talk to the doctors, and people
looking after the person they care for, so that they can
answer questions about the illness or disability.
121
Useful
contacts
Adfam
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
British Red Cross
www.adfam.org.uk
020 7553 7640
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk
0845 769 7555
www.redcross.org.uk
Advice guide
Anti-Bullying Alliance
www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk
www.broken-rainbow.org.uk
0300 999 5428
Broken Rainbow UK
Bullying UK
Al-Anon
www.al-anonuk.org.uk
020 7403 0888
Beatbullying
Alcohol concern
B-eat
Cafcass
www.alcoholconcern.org.uk
0800 917 8282
www.b-eat.co.uk
Youthline 0845 634 7650
Helpline 0845 634 1414
www.cafcass.gov.uk
www.bullying.co.uk
Cancer Research
www.cancerresearchuk.org
Useful contacts
123
Carers National Helpline
Child Rescue Alert
0808 808 7777
Carers Support Surrey
Citizens Advice Bureau
www.carersnet.org.uk/localsupport/
carermap.html
Carers UK
www.cafamily.org.uk
helpline@cafamily.org.uk
0808 808 3555
www.carersuk.org
Child Bereavement UK
www.childbereavement.org.uk
0800 028 8840
ChildLine
0800 1111
Contact a family
Cruse Bereavement Care

www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
helpline@cruse.org.uk
0844 4779400
Useful contacts
Gov.uk
National Debtline
www.gov.uk
www.nationaldebtline.co.uk
0808 808 4000
Equality and Human

Rights Commission
Kids Behaviour
National Domestic
Violence Helpline
www.equalityhumanrights.com
Kidscape
Families Anonymous
www.kidscape.org.uk
08451 205 204
www.famanon.org.uk
0207 498 4680
ManKind
Family Helpline
www.mankind.org.uk
www.familyline.org.uk
0808 800 5678
Mens Advice Line
www.nhs.uk
www.mensadviceline.org.uk
0808 801 0327
NHS Direct
www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk
0808 800 2222
Missing Kids
NHS Live Well
uk.missingkids.com
www.nhs.uk/livewell
Family Mediation Service
Missing People
NSPCC
Family lives
www.sfms.org.uk
First Steps
0808 801 0325
FFLAG
www.fflag.org.uk
www.kidsbehaviour.co.uk
www.runawayhelpline.org.uk
www.nationaldomestic
violencehelpline.org.uk
0808 200 0247
National Self-Harm Network

www.nshn.co.uk
NHS Choices
www.nspcc.org.uk
help@nspcc.org.uk
0808 800 5000
Outcrowd
Relate
www.outlinesurrey.org
www.relate.org.uk
Respect
Parent Channel TV
www.parentchannel.tv
www.respect.uk.net
0808 802 4040
ParentlinePlus
Royal College of Psychiatrists
www.parentplus.co.uk
0808 800 2222
www.rcpsych.ac.uk
Parents Protect
www.parentsprotect.co.uk
Quit
www.quit.org.uk
0800 00 22 00
125
Useful contacts
Shelter
Surrey Childrens Social Care
www.shelter.org.uk
0808 800 4444
0300 200 1006
Smokefree
Surrey Chlamydia Screening
www.surreycc.gov.uk/safeguarding
0300 200 1006
www.smokefree.nhs.uk
0800 022 4 332
www.gocheckyourself.com
Surrey Young Carers
Somebody Elses Child

www.surreycc.gov.uk
03456 009 009
www.surrey-youngcarers.org.uk
syc@actionforcarers.org.uk
01483 568 269
Surrey Family
Information Service (FIS)
Surrey Youth Justice

Service
0300 200 1004
www.surreycc.gov.uk/
youthjusticeservice
Suzy Lamplugh Trust
Surrey Parent Partnership
www.suzylamplugh.org/tips
www.privatefostering.org.uk
Stop it Now! UK and Ireland

www.stopitnow.org.uk
help@stopitnow.org.uk
0808 1000 900
Surrey Child and

Adolescent Mental
Health Services
(CAMHS)
www.surrey-camhs.org.uk/
Surrey Child
Employment Team
www.surreycc.gov.uk/
childemployment
childemployment@surreycc.gov.uk
01483 517838
Surrey Childrens Service

0300 200 1006
www.surreyparentpartnership.org.uk
Surrey Police
emergency 999
non emergency 101
Surrey Safeguarding
Children Board
Talk to Frank
Winstons Wish
www.talktofrank.com
03001 23 66 00
www.winstonswish.org.uk
info@winstonswish.org.uk
08452 03 04 05
The Childrens Society

www.childrenssociety.org.uk
Womens Aid
The Hideout
www.womensaid.org.uk
www.thehideout.org.uk
The Lucy Faithfull Foundation
Young Carers
lucyfaithfull.org
www.youngcarers.net
The Royal Society for the

Prevention of Accidents (ROSPA)
Young Minds
www.rospa.com
0121 248 2000
The Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
jo@samaritans.org
08457 909090
Think U Know
www.thinkyouknow.co.uk
0808 802 5544
This is a reference book for parents of 11 - 19 year olds. It

includes information and contacts for the following topics:
Alcohol, drugs and
substance misuse
Alone at home
Babysitting
Behaviour at school
Bereavement
Breaking the law
Bullying
Child abuse
Child employment
Depression
Divorce and separation
Domestic abuse
Eating disorders
Friends
Independence
Internet safety
Lesbian, gay, bisexual
and transgender
Missing
Parenting
Personal safety outside the home
Private fostering
Puberty
School attendance
Self harm
Sexual health and relationships
Smoking
Special educational needs
and disability
Stress and anxiety
Young carers

The Parent Handbook

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The Parent Handbook

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For parents and carers of 11 - 19 year olds

At the beginning of each topic

Surrey Family Information Service

The useful contacts were correct

The Parent Handbook

This is a reference book for mums,

Alcohol, drugs and substance misuse

As a parent, your first

NHS Live Well

Your child may take

How to stop it before it starts

Who your child can go to for help

What you can do to help if you are worried

There is no legal age at which you may leave your child

If you need to leave your child

What you can do to keep your child safe

British Red Cross

Surrey Family Information

The Royal Society for the

If you are thinking about

What you can do to keep your child safe when

If your child is over 16 and babysitting,

Schools have clear guidelines about

Surrey Family Information

How to stop behaviour problems before they start

What you can do to help

Cruse Bereavement Care

Different ways your child may react

Your child may not accept or believe

What you can do to help

Breaking the law

Once a child reaches 10 years

Search for young people and the law on the

Surrey Youth Justice Service

If your child is facing

How to stop it before it starts

Breaking the law

What you can do if you suspect that your

Department for Education

Bullying can be:

What to look out for

If your child is bullying other children:

What you can do to help

Stop it Now! UK and Ireland

Surrey Safeguarding Children Board

The Lucy Faithfull Foundation

If you think your

How to stop it before it starts

What you can do to help

Signs to look out for

Surrey Child Employment Team

Check with Surrey County

What you can do to keep your child safe

Surrey Child and

Depression seems to be linked with chemical changes

Sometimes youll need outside help

Family Mediation Service

Signs that your child may be

What you can do to help

What you can suggest they do

Mens Advice Line

National Domestic Violence Helpline

Domestic abuse is more than physical violence.

Surrey Family Information

The Royal Society for the

Surrey Family Information

Search for young people and the law on the

Surrey Safeguarding Children Board

Surrey Child and

National Domestic Violence Helpline

Surrey Child and

Teach them how to consider and cooperate

By sharing your experiences

If they want to sign up to a social networking site

The Royal Society

Avoid wearing headphones or

Surrey Child and Adolescent