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A few weeks ago, your CIS University Counsellors held a couple of parent sessions: one
for Year 13 parents about to transition their graduates to university; the other for Year 12
parents entering the college application process. While attendance at both events was
perhaps 25% of each grades parents, we cant help but wonder why parent attendance at
informational sessions about the college admission process is far greater than our
sessions focusing on student and parent health and wellbeing? !
Does the marked disparity in attendance suggest that getting into college is more of a
priority than other considerations? We dont believe that to be the case. In an era where
the college admissions process is increasingly marked by ever higher levels of stress and
anxiety, were hopeful that more parents will take full advantage of these sessions in the
future. Those who attended felt they were helpful and reassuring in lowering anxiety; wed
like all of our parents to benefit from such sessions in the future.!
Rest assured that we will continue to work toward creating a healthier college process
environment for our community. A quick glance at the Summer 2015 table of contents
below is an excellent indicator of our desire to keep you informed, thoughtful and healthy.
We are also increasingly aware of the need to bring our message of calm reassurance to
parents of younger students and are currently developing plans for the coming school year
to do just that. !
In the meantime, we hope that you continue to find this newsletter helpful, informative and
reassuring. You can reference back issues by simply clicking on this link indexing articles
from past issues. Additionally, our website is an excellent resource for parents looking for
general as well as specific information on the many aspects of the college process.!
!Finally, as always, please feel free to contact our University Counselling and Career
Counselling staff whenever questions arise. We are here to serve you as well as our
students. Appointments can be made through our fabulous administrative assistant, Ms.
Brankie Wong at: bwong@cis.edu.hk!
!
!
Whats inside !
Have You Ever Wondered Why Your CIS University Counsellors Dont
Promote Prestigious University Acceptances?!
Perfectionism: Its Anything But Perfect !
Page 1 of 12
Home
!
!
Have You Ever Wondered Why Your CIS University Counsellors Dont
Promote Prestigious University Acceptances?!
The
word
is
out.
The
graduating
Class
of
2015
has
racked
up
an
impressive
slate
of
university
acceptances
with
offers
from
several
of
the
most
hyper-competitive
schools
in
the
world.
Parents
who
are
unsure
of
our
role,
much
less
our
philosophy
in
the
college
admission
process,
assume
that
as
university
counsellors,
were
thrilled.
Yes
and
no.
The
fact
is,
were
thrilled
for
ALL
of
our
graduates,
but
deFinitely
not
for
the
reasons
some
might
assume.
Were
proud
of
and
happy
for
the
students
of
need
who
earned
generous
scholarships
to
their
schools
of
choice;
for
the
personal
and
emotional
growth
that
our
students
experienced
in
this
process;
for
the
students
who
tell
us
that
theyre
appreciative
of
the
fact
that
they
didnt
get
into
their
dream
school
that
Despite
our
best
efforts
to
applying
and
being
denied
was
worth
convince
them
otherwise,
too
the
experience;
for
our
students
who
researched
and
selected
schools
based
many
of
our
graduates
leave
CIS
upon
an
honest
assessment
of
Fit;
for
with
a
nagging
sense
of
our
students
who
experienced
a
inadequacy,
believing
that
they
successful
application
process
while
are
relegated
to
a
future
lacking
overcoming
academic
and
personal
in
the
opportunities
that
only
a
challenges;
for
the
relationships
we
handful
of
classmates
will
enjoy
nurtured
and
the
trust
we
were
shown;
at
their
more
lustrous
schools.
and
for
our
wise
and
supportive
parents
who
gave
us
such
a
fabulous
group
of
That
mindset
doesnt
thrill
us
at
kids
to
work
with.
Yes,
this
is
what
all.
Nor
should
it
thrill
you.
were
thrilled
about.
What
were
not
thrilled
about
is
the
perception
held
by
some
that
there
are
losers
in
this
process
who
will
face
a
more
difFicult
path
through
life
because
their
university
Page 2 of 12
of
choice
does
not
enjoy
the
elite
or
prestigious
status
conferred
by
a
tiny
handful
of
schools.
Despite
our
best
efforts
to
convince
them
otherwise,
too
many
of
our
graduates
leave
CIS
with
a
nagging
sense
of
inadequacy,
believing
that
they
are
relegated
to
a
future
lacking
in
the
opportunities
that
only
a
handful
of
classmates
will
enjoy
at
their
more
lustrous
schools.
That
mindset
doesnt
thrill
us
at
all.
Nor
should
it
thrill
you.
The
good
news
is
that
a
year
at
university
works
wonders
in
convincing
our
graduates
the
truth
of
what
is
clearly
understood
among
college
graduates
-
that
where
they
go
is
far
less
important
than
what
they
make
of
the
opportunity.
Arriving
at
that
understanding
is
a
critical
milestone
of
success
in
this
process,
and
in
life.
While
we
are
thrilled
by
the
fact
that
ALL
of
our
graduates
have
the
enviable
opportunity
to
pursue
their
academic
dreams
at
quality
and
exciting
institutions
the
world
over,
we
need
our
CIS
community
to
understand
that
ALL
of
our
graduates
share
equally
in
the
hope
and
promise
of
an
outstanding
university
educational
experience,
not
just
an
anointed
few
-
all
of
these
fabulous
kids
are
winners.
And
now
you
know
why
your
CIS
University
Counsellors
dont
promote
prestigious
university
acceptances.
Sincerest
congratulations
to
all
of
our
wonderful
Class
of
2015
graduates
and
their
parents!
!
Your
CIS
University
Counsellors
!
!
On
Student
Health:
Perfectionism
is
an
unhealthy
response
to
pressure
for
outstanding
performance
in
every
aspect
of
ones
life
While
all
students
will
feel
some
pressure
to
perform
well,
the
perfectionist
student
responds
in
unhealthy
ways.
Perfectionism
De.ined
Perfectionism
is
an
unhealthy
response
to
pressure
for
outstanding
performance
in
every
aspect
of
ones
life.
Whether
the
pressure
is
externally
generated
by
family,
peers,
teachers;
or
the
source
is
internally
driven
by
the
students
personal
Page 3 of 12
standards,
pressure
happens.
While
all
students
will
feel
some
pressure
to
perform
well,
the
perfectionist
student
responds
in
unhealthy
ways.
Again,
pressure
and
perfectionism
are
strongly
linked.
These
students
organise,
manage,
discipline,
control,
regulate
time,
space
and
self
to
a
sine
qua
non
standard
in
order
to
achieve
their
ideal
of
perfection
and
maintain
it.
While
there
are
always
those
very
rare
students
who
appear
able
to
maintain
an
incredibly
high
level
of
achievement
without
any
observable
side
effects,
most,
In
a
community
such
as
ours
in
fact,
do
not.
Students
are
not
robots.
where
pressure
is
endemic,
According
to
our
research,
over
half
of
our
parents
and
students
need
to
students
identify
themselves
as
highly
stressed
with
regard
to
academic
be
aware
of
what
performance.
In
the
Year
11
and
12
survey
perfectionism
is
and
the
cited
above,
66%
...
worry
that
I
am
unable
dangerous
attitudes
and
to
arrive
at
a
healthy
balance
between
behaviours
it
engenders.
academics,
co-curricular
activities,
and
everything
else
I
do.
In
a
community
such
as
ours
where
pressure
is
endemic,
parents
and
students
need
to
be
aware
of
what
perfectionism
is
and
the
dangerous
attitudes
and
behaviours
it
engenders.
Perfectionist
Behaviours
Research
has
shown
that
perfectionism
is
closely
correlated
with
mental
disorder
as
well
as
emotional
and
cognitive
disregulation.
What
does
that
mean?
Lack
of
sleep
-
going
to
bed
at
1
or
2am,
which
turns
into
3am
with
a
wake-up
alarm
set
for
4:30
AM.
Eating
disorders/over-exercising
-
a
sense
of
control
over
how
one
eats,
what
one
eats,
how
one
exercises
creates
a
type
of
control
that
perfectionists
require.
Emotional
dysregulation
-
stress,
anxiety,
depression,
emotional
outbursts.
Page 4 of 12
Isolation
-
the
perfectionist
cuts
off
interactions
with
family
and
friends
and/or
caring
about
things
that
were
once
pleasurable.
Self-esteem,
identity
-
shaped
by
academic
performance
and
how
others
view
them
as
students.
If
the
perfectionist
student
is
not
smart/perfect/well-
rounded,
the
students
identity
is
threatened
Standards/Exceptions
-
the
perfectionist
sets
himself
apart
from
others.
Other
people
need
sleep/food/friends/fun/socialising,
but
not
me.
I
am
the
exception
to
the
rule,
Im
above
this.
I
have
my
own
rules,
my
own
goals,
my
own
standards.
This
creates
a
mindset
that
excludes
the
student
from
feeling
human.
Perfectionism
becomes
bad
when
students
believe
that
there
is
no
path
other
than
the
one
they
are
on,
a
path
where
fear
of
failure
becomes
the
motivator
in
place
of
internal
agency
and
mastery
that
comes
from
true
learning
and
understanding.
Again,
when
students
start
equating
personal
worth,
identity
and
conFidence
exclusively
through
the
appraisal
of
grades,
this
is
when
things
can
become
Again,
when
students
start
serious.
At
some
point,
perfectionist
equating
personal
worth,
students
break
down,
either
by
identity
and
conFidence
avoiding
school,
procrastinating
on
exclusively
through
the
appraisal
their
assignments,
becoming
of
grades,
this
is
when
things
can
emotionally
disregulated
because
the
fear
of
failure
is
what
drives
become
serious.
At
some
point,
perfectionism.
that
perfectionism
is
a
cancer
to
the
mind
and
to
the
self.
As
a
community,
we
need
to
protect
our
students
by
reminding
them
that
they
are
people,
which
means
that
they
have
limits
that
should
not
be
pushed.
Perfectionism
is
anything
but
perfect.
Lets
tackle
it,
together.
To
illustrate,
it
might
be
comforting
to
note
that
some
schools
that
are
popular
choices
now
were
relative
unknowns
in
our
CIS
community
just
a
few
years
ago.
For
example,
prior
to
2007,
no
CIS
student
had
ever
applied
to
Bowdoin
College.
Bowdoin
wasnt
a
bad
college
prior
to
2007,
it
simply
wasnt
a
well-known
option.
Since
then,
it
has
grown
into
one
of
the
more
popular
small-college,
liberal
arts
choices
for
many
CIS
students.
Its
hardly
the
only
one.
A
much
better
question
to
ask
is:
what
are
the
institutional
qualities,
ethos,
opportunities
that
will
make
it
a
great
Fit
for
my
son/daughter?
In
other
words:
What
are
the
schools
that
are
right
for
my
child?
NOW
THATS
A
GREAT
QUESTION,
one
that
should
guide
all
of
the
students
research.
In
addition
to
there
being
so
many
great
institutions
on
the
road
less
traveled,
theres
no
shortage
of
quality
resources
(Visit
our
University
Counselling
Website)
to
help
students
make
informed
decisions
based
on
their
wants
and
needs.
By
Page 7 of 12
!
!
Sciences Po Offers Something Very Unique in the Social Sciences !
!
In
an
effort
to
expose
families
to
a
broader
range
of
colleges/universities
with
exciting
and/or
unusual
program
options,
each
issue
of
our
UC
Newsletter
will
highlight
outstanding
institutions
not
on
the
popular
radar
screen.
Today,
we
look
at
Sciences
Po,
based
in
Paris,
France.
Background
Sciences
Po
is
an
old
French
university
(founded
in
1852)
that
in
recent
years
has
completely
re-invented
itself
into
a
truly
international
institution.
A
major
shift
in
this
transition
was
the
adoption
of
English,
replacing
French,
as
the
principle
language
of
instruction.
Today,
46%
of
its
13,000
students
are
international
i.e.,
from
countries
other
than
France.
Structure
An
institution
solely
dedicated
to
studies
in
the
Social
Sciences,
undergraduates
are
based
on
7
campuses
throughout
France
(soon
to
be
6,
as
the
Paris
campus
will
be
completely
dedicated
to
graduate
studies).
The
campus
where
one
studies
is
determined
by
the
students
geographical
area
of
interest;
Europe-Asia,
Europe-Latin
America,
Europe-North
America,
Europe-Africa,
European
Franco-
German,
European-Central
and
Eastern
Europe,
Middle
Eastern
and
Mediterranean.
Program
A
three-year
degree
program,
students
spend
the
First
two
years
on
their
home
campus
and
the
third
abroad
at
one
of
410
partner
universities
around
the
world.
During
the
First
two
years,
students
follow
a
fairly
structured
core
curriculum
that
includes
Economics,
History,
Law,
Political
Science
and
Sociology.
Additionally,
students
are
expected
to
pick
up
another
language
appropriate
to
their
regional
area
of
interest,
along
with
French
if
he/she
is
not
versed
in
the
language
of
the
host
country.
While
the
core
is
common
across
all
campuses,
course
materials
focus
on
the
speciFic
geographic
location
of
each
campus.
The
third
year
provides
students
great
freedom
and
Flexibility
as
they
go
abroad
to
study
at
one
of
the
410
partner
universities.
This
year
affords
students
the
opportunity
to
focus
on
personal
areas
of
interests
and/or
possible
areas
of
future
graduate
study.
Following
completion
of
that
year,
students
return
to
their
home
campus
in
France,
to
complete
a
report
on
their
studies
during
Year
3,
earning
them
the
Bachelors
degree.
Dual
Degrees
During
the
application
process,
students
have
the
opportunity
to
apply
for
one
of
the
Dual
Bachelors
Degree
programs
offered
currently
with
six
universities:
Page 8 of 12
Admission
Admission
to
Sciences
Po
is
competitive,
and
especially
so
for
the
Dual
Degree
programs
since
students
are
considered
for
admission
by
both
institutions.
As
the
University
offers
a
multidisciplinary,
multilingual
and
outward
looking
education,
the
ideal
candidate
is
one
who
is
interested
in
studying
the
Social
Sciences
and
is
Added
BeneFits
Two
added
beneFits
of
the
program
at
Sciences
Po...
Once
you
earn
your
undergraduate
degree
at
the
institution,
you
gain
automatic
acceptance
to
one
of
the
Universitys
Masters
programs.
Secondly,
the
program
is
a
relative
bargain
costing
approximately
10,000
Euros
per
year
for
tuition
and
fees.
!
!
Recommended Reading: Where You Go Is Not Who Youll Be Is a Timely
Plea for Sanity in the College Admission Process
At
long
last,
a
book
that
takes
a
calming
approach
to
the
ever-increasing
hype
and
hysteria
surrounding
the
university
application
process.
Filled
with
powerful
evidence
both
anecdotal
and
statistical,
New
York
Times
columnist
Frank
Bruni
makes
a
compelling
argument
for
the
need
to
approach
the
application
process
with
a
clear
understanding
of
what
constitutes
a
quality
university
education
by
Page 9 of 12
Must
reading
for
any
parent
or
student
in
our
community
entering
the
college
admission
process,
Mr.
Bruni:
skewers
the
logic
and
methodology
employed
in
college
rankings;
exposes
how
the
US
admission
process
itself
is
deeply
Flawed;
demonstrates
how
students
and
their
parents
are
damaged
by
the
admissions
race
mentality;
reveals
how
the
burgeoning
college
consultant
industry
and
how
to
get
in
application
guides
are
feeding
the
frenzy;
interviews
recruiters
to
learn
the
qualities
they
want
in
employees
qualities
that
are
demonstrably
not
limited
to
graduates
of
highly
prestigious
institutions;
challenges
the
widespread
belief
that
lifelong
success
and
happiness
are
inextricably
tied
to
the
perceived
luster
of
a
graduates
university
diploma.
On
the
U.S.
News
and
World
Report
College
Rankings:
Nearly
all
of
the
current
and
former
educators
I
know
cite
the
U.S.
News
rankings
as
a
major
culprit
in
the
admissions
mania,
and
nearly
all
of
them
disparage
the
criteria
behind
the
rankings
as
fatally
Flawed.
How
you
use
college.
What
you
demand
of
it.
These
dynamics
get
lost
in
the
admissions
mania,
which
overshadows
them,
to
a
point
where
it
makes
them
seem
close
to
irrelevant.
But
their
importance
is
vividly
underscored
by
the
histories
of
just
about
every
person
interviewed
for
this
book.
!
!
!
!
!
!
Page 10 of 12
!
CIS Mentorship Program: Where Our Alumni Help Our Students!
!
This
years
CIS
Alumni
Mentorship
program
kicked
off
on
Saturday,
April
18th
with
the
First
Meet
and
Greet
session
for
the
latest
pairings.
The
program
is
now
in
its
third
year
since
being
reintroduced
to
the
CIS
community
in
2013
with
well
over
200
student
and
alumni
participants.
We
hope
that
more
students
will
take
advantage
of
this
unique
opportunity
in
the
years
to
come!
To
make
sure
they
get
the
most
out
of
the
mentorship,
students
are
encouraged
to
sign
up
when
they
are
in
Year
11.
However,
if
they
have
missed
out
on
the
opportunity
in
Year
11,
there
will
still
be
a
chance
to
sign
up
in
Year
12,
though
they
may
not
be
able
to
maximize
the
potential
of
the
mentorship
being
paired
up
for
only
one
year.
The
call
out
for
applications
usually
occur
shortly
after
students
return
from
the
Christmas
holiday
through
multiple
channels
of
Through
this
program,
mentors
communication.
Although
the
application
is
fairly
straight-forward,
we
are
encouraged
to
create
an
do
expect
students
to
provide
environment
of
open
thoughtful
and
reFlective
responses
in
communication,
trust
and
order
to
best
match
them
with
a
mentor.
Commitment
for
this
program
will
last
until
students
graduation,
though
it
doesnt
necessarily
have
to
end
there.
In
the
past,
there
have
been
a
number
of
ex-
mentorship
pairs
who
continued
their
relationship
beyond
CIS.
During
the
ofFicial
mentorship
period,
communication
between
the
student
and
their
mentor
will
be
ongoing
with
hope
that
contact
will
be
made
at
least
once
every
two
months.
If
the
students
mentor
resides
outside
of
Hong
Kong,
the
mentor
will
normally
schedule
to
meet
up
with
the
mentee
when
in
Hong
Kong
visiting.
A
meet
up
outside
of
Hong
Kong
may
also
take
place
if
the
student
is
in
the
mentors
neighborhood
during
a
family
holiday.
Page 11 of 12
make
sure
to
be
on
the
lookout
for
next
years
call
out
so
they
wont
miss
out
on
such
a
rare
and
exciting
opportunity!
!
!
!
Correction !
!
The
Spring
2015
UC
Newsletter
featured
quotes
from
Year
12
parents
in
which
they
outlined
their
view
of
a
successful
and
healthy
college
process.
The
parent
quote
below
contained
an
error
which
has
been
corrected.
While
we
regret
the
error,
we
delight
in
the
opportunity
to
re-print
what
we
see
as
an
ideal
perspective
on
how
parents
can
best
support
students
through
a
healthy
college
process.
We
expect
that
our
daughter
will
go
to
a
school
that
is
good
for
her.
We
will
discuss
her
choices
and
respect
her
viewpoints
on
what
she
wants
to
pursue
and
where
she
wants
to
go.
We
understand
that
in
the
end
it
is
her
decision.
We
hope
to
provide
an
environment
that
is
supportive
and
caring,
an
environment
that
helps
her
to
showcase
her
strengths
to
schools.
We
expect
to
be
a
source
of
strength
to
her,
and
we
see
our
role
as
mostly
to
listen,
to
give
her
space
to
make
her
own
decisions
and
provide
emotional
support
when
she
needs.
We
expect
the
process
to
be
an
enjoyable
experience.
!
Articles of Interest from the Web:!
!
!
!
A little humour!
We all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.!
There are times when parenthood seems like nothing but feeding the mouth that bites
you.!
Peter de Vries!
Page 12 of 12