6 Tips For Mentees To Prepare For Meetings With A Mentor

In a one-on-one mentoring relationship, many mentees may make the mistake of assuming that the onus is on the
mentor to prepare the schedule and the agenda for meetings with their mentees. Not so! The primary purpose of the
mentoring relationship is to help to develop the mentee. Therefore, the mentee should be pro-active and help to create
an agenda and a relationship that reflects the types of goals he/she would like to achieve. Mentors are offering their
valuable time to their mentees. It is the mentee's responsibility to make the most of that time (think "you get what you
pay for").
Fast Company recently published an article titled 6 Ways To Make The Most Of Your Mentorship, Dear
Grasshopper. In this article, an executive who has mentored many individuals for over 30 years, Alice Korngold, is
interviewed. Korngold details one experience that stands out in her mind--unfortunately it is not a positive one. She
says that her mentee arrived at their first meeting completely unprepared. She felt that her time had been undervalued
by the mentee. I felt an imposition that she hadnt prepared. I think its the mentees responsibility to do their
homework to understand the background, expertise, and value of the mentor, and ask for what they need.

So what should a mentee do to prepare for meetings with his/her mentor? Here are 6 tips
to help you get your mentoring relationship off on the right foot:

1. Be prepared for your meeting with anything agreed upon and with an issue to discuss that's important to you.
There is always something to discuss since events have occurred between the current meeting and the last
one. The issue need not be monumental--sometimes simple things can lead to great discussions and insights.
2. Think commitment, not lip service. Regular, ongoing contact is one of the most important building blocks for
successful mentoring. Agree with your mentor to meet on a regular and ongoing basis and avoid canceling
appointments.
3. Give back and get more. Mentors don't usually ask how the mentee has benefitted from the relationship. Take
the time to share examples and to say "thank you" on occasion, and you'll often find that the mentor will give
more without your having to ask. Sharing how a mentor has been helpful in the past gives the mentor guidance
on how to be helpful in the future.
4. Keep expectations realistic. Unstated assumptions or expectations can easily derail a relationship. To avoid
this, you and your mentor should both discuss your expectations of each other and the relationship. For
example, discuss how often you'll meet or what areas you will work on. When there's a change in expectations,
discuss this as well. Relationships grow and change and so do expectations, so those agreed upon early on
may not be the same later. Have periodic conversations to discuss your mutual expectations.

5. It's risky, but it's healthy. A mentoring relationship is not meant to make you comfortable with where you are.
It should challenge you both professionally and personally. This can't happen unless you're willing to take risks.
What kind of risks? Whatever makes sense, but things like discussing your lack of confidence, challenging a
mentor on an issue, trying something completely outside your comfort zone are all examples. Taking risks is an
integral part of growth and well-being. So by taking risks, you're actually getting healthier!

6. Don't be afraid of your mentor's silence. You're in a mentoring session and you seem to run out of things to
say, and your mentor isn't helping because all she or he is doing is keeping quiet. This is a good thing! Your
mentor's silence is inviting you to probe more deeply into what is on your mind, and it's an opportunity to share
more deeply in the relationship. In this situation, pause and look inside yourself to try and get at what is of
immediate concern or on your mind and share that with your mentor. The possibilities of what may happen are
endless.
Homework, logistics, emotions. These are all important aspects of preparing for your meetings and your relationship
with your mentor. Now, if you would really like to "WOW" your mentor, download our free resource Creating A
Successful Mentoring Relationship and bring it to your first mentoring session. You and your mentor can map out a
mentoring plan together and no one can accuse you of coming to your next mentoring meeting unprepared!

FINDING A BUSINESS MENTOR 5 STRATEGIES

If your company does not have a formal mentoring program, this does not mean you cant find a suitable business mentor within
or outside your company. Finding a business mentor is an important strategic decision; therefore you want to take the time needed
to explore the right mentor for you.

Here are 5 strategies for you to consider when finding a business mentor:
1. Ask yourself the following questions in order to identify the type of person you are looking for in a mentor:

What do I want to learn from a mentor (leadership skills, communications skills, business development, etc.)?

Where do I want to be in my career in the next 1-3 years or 3-5 years?

What kind of personality traits am I looking for in a mentor? Examples: Sociable, professional, knowledgeable,
educated, experienced, etc.

What other things are important for me in a mentor? For example, is their availability important to me? How
often would I like to meet with my mentor (once a month, once a quarter, etc.)?

Am I looking for a mentor that is nearby or would I consider an online mentoring relationship?

2. Once you have answered some of these questions, try to write out a brief summary of what you are looking for in a
mentor. For example, I am looking for a mentor who is in the financial industry and who has 5-10 years experience
managing a department--specifically in accounting--and is someone who is sociable, dependable, has good time
management skills, and thinks outside the box. I am hoping that that person will agree to have contact with me on a
monthly basis for 60-90 minutes.
3. Armed with this summary, make a list of everybody you know that fits that particular description. Or start contacting
people that you know asking them who they know using your summary as a way to start the conversation.
4. Once you have your list, pick the top 3. Make contact and invite them to lunch. Let them know that you have been
referred to them because of their expertise and knowledge and you want to spend a little time with them asking them
about how they developed their career.
5. When you have found the one that you believe is the mentor for you, contact them and ask them if they would
consider being your mentor and specify what you are looking for saying something like I really enjoyed our
conversation the other day. I wanted to ask you if you would consider being my mentor because I feel I would benefit
greatly from your expertise and knowledge. I wonder if you would consider having lunch once a month initially.

Having done the homework hopefully your efforts will pay off and the response will be a positive one. You have now
defined the type of person you hope to find in a mentor. Once you have found one, you and your mentor will want to
conduct the same type of exercise to determine what you would like to accomplish in your mentoring sessions. For
more information on putting together a detailed mentoring plan,

Benefits of Mentoring: Requirements for an Effective Mentee

Are you taking part in a mentoring program? Are you a a mentee? Before you read our list of requirements for an
effective mentee, think about this for a minute:
What do you hope to achieve from this mentoring relationship? How do you plan on taking the reigns and
ensuring that your time with your mentor is well spent and that you achieve the greatest benefits of this
mentoring relationship that you possibly can? .........
.....okay, now you can read our list :)
Openness: Mentee must be willing to consider other viewpoints, other courses of action from what s/he may be
inclined to do and remain open to constructive criticism that can provide information about blind spots and how to deal
with them successfully.
Motivation: The mentee is the driver in this relationship and must accept that role rather than viewing it as a
relationship whereby the mentor does "his/her thing" to the mentee. This means the mentee must be motivated to stay
engaged in this relationship and to work toward achieving results.
Courage: Being a mentee requires the ability to share vulnerabilities with another so that this can be considered when
planning how one will develop. It means avoiding hiding those areas that we all tend to hide with respect to issues of

self-confidence, abilities, etc. It is crucial that the mentor be capable of challenging the mentee in identified areas. In
turn, courage and the willingness to take risks is essential components for success on the part of the mentee.
Commitment: Honoring appointments, arriving on time and, most importantly, completing agreed upon tasks are
crucial if a mentee wants the mentor to feel that his/her investment of time and effort is worthwhile.
How did our list match up to yours? We'd love to hear what your thoughts were before and after you read our list.
Please feel free to leave them in the comments section below.

Mindful Listening: Listening as a Mentee in a Mentoring Relationship

Listening in a mentoring relationship is one of the key components to make that
relationship a success.
Here are some tips for listening in a mentoring relationship for the mentee:
Listen to your present: Take a deep breath and while exhaling become aware of what is uppermost in your mind
(your last phone call, that deadline you have to meet, etc.) and decide to put this aside until after the session is over so
as not to be distracted in your work with your mentor today.
Listen to your expectations: Imagine your partner and become aware of your own expectations of him/her in todays
session. Be mindful that your mentors role is to partner in your journey and not to provide you with answers. Be open
to whatever happens in todays session regardless of your expectations.
Listen to your authenticity: Remember who you are. As a mentee, you are the one responsible for your own
development. Be honest in your interactions with your mentor as trust develops so that you can take the risks this
opportunity provides you.
Listen with intention: Make a conscious decision that you will bring your full awareness to todays session. The act of
doing this will make a difference in how you interact and what you bring to the session.
Listen with openness: Let go of being certain about the specific goal(s) you are working on, the approach you should
be taking or the path you should be following and be open to exploring alternatives in conversations with your mentor.
Think creatively and be ready to explore as a means to true self-discovery.
Listen to the silence: Silence can be the pause that can bring forth an important insight. Dont fear silence but rather,
take a moment to listen deeply within yourself and see what arises during that silence. This can often be the spark that
leads to real understanding and change.
Listen with gratitude: Your mentor feels responsible for assisting you in your journey. Whatever he or she shares with
you, whether you find it useful or less so, be thankful for the effort made and the commitment shown. Listen for the
lesson you can learn from what is being shared.
Listen to reflect: The impact of your session with your mentor goes beyond that particular meeting. Listen to the
impact it has the next day, the next week, etc. Reflect on your experience and youll find that you will have gained more
than at first may be obvious. Mentoring has a ripple effectbe mindful of that effect on you.
Listen for change: Mentoring results in change. Listen to those moments in mentoring which call you to change. This
means being open to hearing things that may be difficult. Change requires courage. Be willing to believe in yourself to
make those changes that will truly make you the person you want to become.
Listen to the future: Mentoring is about creating the future by being in the here and now. No matter what obstacles
you may feel you face in your professional and personal development, there is still a future to be had. Avoid being

stuck in the past and letting those things that hinder you continue to do so. Be open to being in control of your own
destiny by having a vision of the future and working toward it.

Listening is such a vital part of the mentoring relationship. If you are a corporate mentee
and would enjoy more tips about your role in the mentoring relationship,