Table&of&Contents

Bird's'eye'view
Introduc2on
You
Core'values
"Brand"
Experience
Hobbies'and'interests
Profession
Friends
Stories
Physical
Data'Management
Evernote
Calendar
Trello
Tinder
Account
New'signup
Recycle
Name
Age
Pictures
Prole'text
Likes
Mutual'friends
Hooks
The'dynamics'of'user'mass
Phone'clients
Ocial
Third'party
Basic'opera2on

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SeQngs
Swipe'leR
Swipe'right
Blocking
Err'to'the'right
The'Right'Way(tm)
How'many'matches
Tinder'lists
BlueStacks
Speed'of'typing
Loca2on'spoong
Auto'clicker
Polariza2on
Snapchat
Data'mining
Who'are'you?
Targets
Connec2ng
Phone'clients
Save'hacks
Preloading'pictures
GeQng'nudes
Sending'nudes
Concepts
The'meaning'of'your'communica2on'is'the'response'you'get
Making'it'easy
Strings'aXached
Ask'and'you'shall'receive
AXen2on
Momentum
Screening
Dominance
Overextension
Frac2ona2on
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Investment
Gradual'build
AXrac2on'vs'ra2onaliza2on
Compliance'ladder
Statement'of'intent
Expecta2ons'drive'percep2on
Commitment'and'consistency
Hurdles
Expecta2ons
Leaving'on'a'high
S2gma2za2on
Priming
AXainability
Availability
Scarcity
Focus'on'not'making'mistakes
Polariza2on
Trust
Simmering
Chunking
Inten2on
Responsibility'for'the'interac2on
Communica2on
Techniques
Rou2nes
Ini2a2on
Reviving'dead'conversa2ons
Qualica2on
SeQng'up'a'meet
Crea2ve'misinterpreta2on
Humor
Girl'code'language
Ambiguity
Meta'communica2on
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Canned'situa2onals
Open'loops
Sexual'seeding
Liberators
Prohibitors
Sexualizing'an'interac2on'aRer'a'mee2ng
Meta
Challenges
Why'are'you'on'Tinder?
Have'you'met'anyone'from'Tinder?
What'are'you'looking'for?
Scripts
The'Test
More'scripts?
Rapport
Smileys
Same'language
Same'chunk'size
Same'messaging'frequency
Momentum'over'rapport
Pacing
The'power'of'silence/pauses
Avoid'silence'rage
Silence'and'tension
Winky'smiley
Best'2me'for'communica2on
Blocking'and'being'blocked
Mistakes
People'don't'communicate'on'Tinder!
Fishing'for'commonali2es'and'burning'through'material
Don't'self'deprecate
Don't'embellish
Don't'be'sad
Self'sabotage
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The'many'faces'of'tension'release
Logis2cal'issues
Feeling'of'self'worth
Funnelling
SeQng'up'a'funnel
Trello'extensions
Tinder'lists
Why'you'funnel
What's'problema2c'for'you
Who's'next
What'to'do
The'stages'of'the'funnel
Prospect
Stale
Communica2on
Loose'mee2ng
Date
Met
Done
Stable
Problema2c
Discarded
Backlog
Work
Daily'system
Daily'workload
How'much'2me'do'you'have?
Work'in'groups
Working'with'the'funnel
Troubleshoo2ng'using'the'funnel
Understanding'funnel'transfer
Progression'model
So'far
You
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When'to'use'Tinder'and'when'to'use'Snapchat
Trans'medium'branching
Mee2ng'in'real'life
Closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and'product
Prepara2on
The'dates
Why'da2ng'is'awesome
What'she'll'be'looking'for'on'a'date
The'many'formats'of'dates
Logis2cs
Improving'skill'is'shortening'(2me'in'the)'pipeline
Beginner'game
Intermediate'game
Advanced'game
Appendix
iGNITE'Mobile'Da2ng'Website
General'photography'2ps
Processing
Ethics
Reports
Resources
SeQng'up'a'group
Reviews

Supposedly'from'an'exchange'between'aspiring'photographer'Karsh'and'
pioneer'Steichen,'Steichen'being'asked'whether'taking'successful'pictures'was'
aXributable'to'luck'promptly'responded:
Yes,%it%is.%But%have%you%no1ced%how%that%luck%happens%to%the%same%
photographers%over%and%over%again?
I'want'luck'to'happen'to'you'over'and'over'again.'Let's'get'lucky.

Birds&eye&view
I'don't'want'to'waste'your'2me.'That's'why'I've'included'this'birds'eye'view'to'
quickly'troubleshoot'your'problem.'Also,'it'can'be'considered'a'sort'of'guide'to'
the'rest'of'the'book.
Problem:'You're'not'geQng'matches'on'Tinder.
Solu9on:'Get'beXer'pictures.'Revise'your'prole'text.'Split'test'your'pictures.'
Try'with'fewer'photos.'Focus'on'your'calling'card.'Implement'beXer'hooks.'
Implement'a'system'based'on'BlueStacks.
Problem:'You're'exhaus2ng'your'Tinder'matches'by'grinding'conversa2ons'to'a'
halt.'
Solu9on:'Get'beXer'pictures.'Harness'momentum.'Do'controlled'
overextension.'S2ck'to'scripts.'Learn'how'to'make'her'invest.
Problem:'You're'exhaus2ng'your'Tinder'matches'without'them'wan2ng'to'
meet'up.
Solu9on:'Learn'to'set'up'a'meet.'Learn'how'to'make'her'invest.'Progress'from'
Tinder'to'Snapchat.'Improve'your'skills'working'with'the'funnel.'Make'sure'you'
have'2me'to'meet'when'you'ini2ate'conversa2ons.
Problem:'You'meet'people,'but'fail'to'progress'it'to'something'sexual.
Solu9on:''Become'a'beXer'you.'Look'at'ways'to'sexualize'a'rela2onship.'Learn'
how'to'do'priming.'Use'girl'code'language.'Learn'how'to'sexualize'an'
interac2on'aRer'a'mee2ng.'Learn'how'to'make'statement'of'intent.'Work'on'
closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and'product.
Problem:'When'mee2ng,'the'communica2on'is'largely'sexual,'but'sex'never'
seems'to'happen.
Solu9on:'Look'at'extrac2on'rou2nes.'Learn'how'to'balance'aXrac2on'and'
ra2onaliza2on.'Learn'how'to'built'a'compliance'ladder.'Make'sure'you'are'
highly'aXainable'and'available.'Learn'to'screen'and'be'dominant'facegtogface.

iGNITE

Problem:'People'you'have'an'online'chemistry'with'seem'put'o'by'you'in'
person.
Solu9on:'Become'a'beXer'you.'Work'on'closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and'
product.'Show'up'aXrac2ve.
Problem:'You'are'able'to'get'girls'into'bed,'but'theyre'not'the'kind'you'want'
and'it'is'2me'consuming.
Solu9on:'Learn'what'funnel'transfer'means.'Look'at'the'funnel'systema2cally'
and'troubleshoot'every'part'of'it.'Do'controlled'overextension.
There'are'many'parts'that'2e'into'the'dierent'areas,'but'these'are'good'
star2ng'points'if'youre'in'a'hurry.'I'do'recommend'you'read'the'whole'text,'
but'this'should'help'you'get'started'quickly.

Introduc9on
The'world'is'changing'rapidly'as'it'responds'to'new'technology'and'new'ways'
of'communica2on.'The'da2ng'world'is'no'excep2on.
One'of'the'brightest'stars'todays'da2ng'heaven'is'the'fairly'recent'Tinder;'an'
app'that'creates'a'prole'with'data'from'your'Facebook'account'and'connects'
it'to'a'rapid'stream'of'other'accounts,'allowing'you'to'communicate'if'there'is'
a'mutual'interest.'Tinder'will'be'one'of'the'main'focuses'of'this'book.'
Snapchat'allows'you'to'communicate'with'a'number'of'users'on'a'daygtogday'
basis,'without'necessarily'engaging'in'stressful'(or'meaningful)'conversa2ons.
We'll'see'how'to'use'Tinder'and'Snapchat'separately'and'eec2vely'and'we'll'
show'how'the'two'services'can'be'used'together'for'a'leveraged'approach'for'
mee2ng'and'communica2ng.
Ill'do'my'best'to'be'direct'when'wri2ng'this'book.'It'is'wriXen'mainly'for'men,'
although'I'suppose'women'could'have'some'benet'from'itif'nothing'else'to'
understand'some'of'the'techniques'men'might'employ'on'these'services.'But'
since'I'am'a'sexually'ac2ve'male'addressing'other'males'looking'for'sexual'
rela2onships'with'women,'I'see'no'reason'to'embellish'my'wording.'Youll'see'
usage'of'the'fgword'in'this'book,'and'some'of'the'techniques'presented'might'
seem'misogynis2c.'I'hope'it'is'clear'to'everyone'that'these'techniques'are'
presented'because'they'are'eec2ve,'and'that'the'eec2veness'of'these'
techniques'is'the'value'I'wish'to'provide'to'you'with'through'this'book.'I'
recommend'you'align'your'use'of'the'material'presented'here'with'your'own'
personal,'ethical'compass;'you'are'responsible'for'your'own'ac2ons.'I'also'
hope'the'majority'of'my'readers'are'mature'enough'to'understand'the'
dierence'between'right'and'wrong.
With'that'out'of'the'way,'lets'get'you'guys'laid.

About&the&changes&in&technology
Technology'seemingly'changes'by'the'minute'and'becomes'increasingly'
powerful.'GPS'in'most'smart'devices'has'made'loca2on'based'services'
ubiquitous.'Cameras'on'most'connected'devices'allow'us'to'communicate'faceg
togface.

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While'there'is'another'layer'of'humanity'added'through'these'technologies,'
allowing'you'to'see'people'who'aren't'really'there,'there'is'also'a'
dehumaniza2on'of'communica2on.'A'lot'of'interpersonal'communica2on'is'
simply'not'facegtogface'anymore.'
This'is'a'sad'trend,'because'it'removes'closeness'between'physical'beings'of'
esh'and'blood.'In'this'book'we'll'try'to'u2lize'technology'to'get'back'to'
exchanging'physical'warmth'and'hopefully'some'bodily'uids.

How&does&this&change&everything?

Ive'sub2tled'this'book'From'spark'to'ame'to'inferno,'and'my'inten2ons'are'
to'take'you'through'these'steps.'You'are'going'to'learn'how'to'create'sparks'
with'people'while's2ll'giving'away'very'liXle'informa2on.'This'spark'can'then'
be'kindled'into'a'ame,'where'passion'and'desire'can'grow.'Ill'also'make'this'
whole'process'innitely'repeatable,'so'youll'nd'yourself'amongst'so'many'
ames'that'it'is'a'proverbial'inferno.
To'make'this'material'easy'to'understand,'Ive'sprinkled'it'with'examples'and'
stepgbygstep'guides.'Every'once'in'a'while,'I'll'do'a'deep'dive'and'share'my'
thoughts'about'why'a'technique'works.'It'is'not'necessary'to'understand'these'
theories'to'make'the'techniques'work,'so'feel'free'to'skip'the'explana2ons'as'
you'read.

Change&from&online&to&mobile
There'are'huge'dierences'between'online'(Internet'based)'and'mobile'da2ng'
services'and'between'the'opportuni2es'each'provide.'Mobile'brings'an'
immediacy'to'the'equa2on'that'Internet'based'da2ng'has'a'hard'2me'
compe2ng'against.'There'is'no'longer'a'need'to'make'elaborate,'preg
constructed'and'sta2c'online'proles'to'present'yourself.'Mobile'services'now'
provide'an'itera2ve'way'to'get'to'know'people'and'you'are'given'more'control'
over'each'step.
There'is'no'point'in'lling'out'tedious'matching'quizzes'as'they'seldom'really'
work'anyway.'Instead,'try'to'just'meet'up'with'people'and'see'if'it'"clicks.
Mobile'service'providers'compete'in'an'industry'that'is'evergchanging.''Both'
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Tinder'and'Snapchat'may'change'the'way'their'services'work'without'giving'
you'(or'me)'no2ce.''These'changes'will'aect'the'workings'of'the'most'
technical'and'specic'2ps.''You'may'also'nd'that'some'of'the'advice'in'this'
book'is'seasonal.
Most'of'the'concepts'presented'are'2meless,'and'once'you'grasp'them,'they'
should'apply'to'current'and'future'versions'of'da2ng'apps'as'well'as'real'life'
situa2ons.
People'tend'occasionally'to'refer'to'the'systema2c'breakdown'and'analysis'of'
the'interac2on'with'the'other'sex'as'game.'We'll'use'this'term'sparingly'in'this'
book,'but'a'lot'of'this'material'is'obviously'inspired'by'the'pickup'community'
and'game'in'general.'I'll'try'to'shy'away'from'using'pickup'lingo,'but'whenever'
it'makes'sense,'I'll'try'to'clarify'what'the'dierent'terms'mean.
Let's'quickly'take'a'bird's'eye'look'at'the'way'the'book'is'outlined.
If'I'was'to'explain'the'secret'of'the'material'presented'in'this'book,'or'the'
formula'if'you'will,'it'would'look'something'like'this:
Volume'g>'Exposure'g>'Experience'g>'Success
Expose'yourself'to'enough'situa2ons'to'test'and'rene'your'techniques;'gather'
experience'and'harvest'success.'It'sounds'simple,'and'it'is.''It's'a'lot'of'work,'
but'it'is'simple'work.
A'lot'of'products'expect'you'to'work,'but'unfortunately,'they'don't'provide'a'
clear'path'for'progression'or'a'means'for'self'correc2on.''I'will'try'to'make'it'
clear'when'and'where'each'technique'can'be'used.''When'things'aren't'
working,'I'll'suggest'correc2ons.
The'material'also'diers'in'that'it'tries'to'minimize'the'amount'of'pain'youll'be'
subjected'to.'Im'no'fan'of'pain'myself,'and'I'rmly'believe'that'if'you'feel'pain,'
its'your'bodys'way'of'telling'you'that'youre'doing'something'wrong.'There'is'
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no'no%pain,%no%gain'in'this'book,'because'its'not'true.'I'know'that'you'will'
shy'away'from'doing'work'that'is'painful.'Minimizing'the'amount'of'pain'is'
therefore'a'way'to'maximize'the'chance'that'youll'actually'do'the'work.
But'lets'start'by'looking'at'how'this'book'is'organised,'and'the'material'that'
will'be'presented.'
We'll'start'o'by'looking'at'the'dierent'services.'They'are'really'preXy'
straighuorward'to'use,'but's2ll,'you'might'have'missed'a'thing'or'two'about'
them.
We'll'con2nue'by'looking'at'the'product.'This'is'you,'and'it'is'a'thing'of'beauty'
and'constant'change.'Improving'the'product'will'make'everything'easier'for'
you,'not'only'for'Tinder'and'Snapchat,'but'for'dealing'with'members'of'the'
opposite'sex'in'general.'It'might'seem'like'an'unnecessary'thing'to'cover'in'the'
context'of'Tinder'and'Snapchat,'but'at'least'do'your'self'the'favour'of'
skimming'this'sec2on.
Well'move'on'to'look'at'the'concepts'that'drive'the'interac2ons'and'
ul2mately'your'success.'These'concepts'are'largely'universal,'and'also'translate'
to'other'kinds'of'game.'Reading'this'sec2on'is'also'recommended,'as'it'will'
build'a'founda2on'to'build'on.
Then'well'take'the'concepts'and'dis2ll'them'into'concrete'techniques.'These'
are'prac2cal'applica2ons'of'the'concepts,'and'are'oRen'described'in'terms'of'
rou9nes;'prac2cal,'tried'and'tested'examples'of'the'techniques'that'can'be'
employed'right'away.'
The'techniques'will'then'be'put'into'a'framework'of'data'mining'and'
funnelling.'This'is'where'you'gather'your'prospects'and'decide'which'
techniques'to'employ'at'which'2mes.'You'will'be'dealing'with'large'volumes'of'
data,'so'this'framework'needs'to'capture'things'like'contact'management,'2me'
management,'handling'of'interac2ons'over'2me'and'a'plethora'of'other'
related'concepts.'In'this'sec2on'well'discuss'concepts'such'as'progression'and'
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branching.
Implemen2ng'the'framework'is'not'very'2me'consuming.'Also,'it'can'to'a'large'
degree'benet'your'other'female'related'endeavors.'
We'll'then'look'at'a'progression&model.'This'is'what'is'basically'going'to'take'
you'from'where'you'are'now'and'through'the'steps.'Resist'the'tempta2on'to'
skip'ahead,'because'everything'is'built'on'what'precedes'it.
The'book'is'organised'in'this'way'because'it'seems'to'make'sense'to'cover'a'
bunch'of'concepts'if'you'are'going'to'be'using'them'over'and'over'again.'I'
could'have'taken'shortcuts'here'and'kept'it'to'mainly'being'examples'without'
much'in'way'of'explana2on.'However,'I'feel'it'would'have'been'just'that,'
shortcuts.'On'the'other'hand,'the'scope'of'the'book'restricts'me'from'going'to'
extreme'depth'on'the'dierent'concepts.'Hopefully'I've'managed'to'nd'a'
sweet'spot'in'this'regard,'where'you'can'get'introduced'to'a'concept,'see'
examples'of'it,'try'it'out'for'yourself'and'then'understand'it'at'a'deep'level'
without'necessarily'being'able'to'explain'all'the'drivers'for'it.

What&is&Tinder?
Tinder'is'a'rela2vely'new'service'where'you'connect'your'Facebook'prole'to'a'
seemingly'neverending'stream'of'members'of'the'opposite'sex.'The'core'idea'
is'simple.'You'decide'on'a'per'person'basis'whether'you'are'interested'(right'
swipe)'or'not'(leR'swipe).'If'both'par2es'swipe'right,'it'is'considered'a'match,'
and'Tinder'from'that'moment'on'allows'the'users'to'communicate'with'a'
private'chat.
What'separates'Tinder'from'other'da2ng'services'is:

Tinder'is'free.

The'prole'is'very'simple.'It'currently'consists'of'only'seven'major'
components:'Your'picturesup'to'seven'of'them,'your'rst'name,'your'age,'
your'rela2ve'loca2on'to'the'other'party,'a'short'(up'to'500'characters'long)'
textual'descrip2on,'your'shared'Facebook'friends'and'your'shared'interests.'
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We'will'look'at'tweaking'all'of'these'parameters'in'this'book.

The'simplicity'of'the'proles'makes'it'really'quick'to'sign'up'for'
the'service.'This'has'resulted'in'a'huge'amount'of'users'in'many'parts'of'the'
world.

This'rate'of'adop2on'means'that'there'are'a'lot'of'prospects.'
Women'on'Tinder'are'usually'more'normal'and'less'desperate'than'women'
found'on'typical'da2ng'sites.'Do'not'be'surprised'if'you'nd'your'next'door'
neighbor'has'a'prole,'or'the'girl'at'the'checkout'counter'at'the'local'KwikgEg
Mart.

This'horde'of'prospects'means'that'you'need'to'rethink'how'you'
approach'the'service.'This'is'what'this'book'is'mainly'about;'given'the'current'
set'of'parameters,'how'do'you'maximize%your%yield?
If'this'sounds'exci2ng,'it'is'because'it'really'and'truly'is.'Tinder'is'a'great'service'
and'if'you'approach'it'correctly,'it'will'give'you'results.

What&is&Snapchat?
Snapchat'is'a'service'based'around'sending'picture'and'video'messages.'The'
messages'can'be'adorned'with'textual'informa2on'and'drawings.'One'of'the'
main'selling'points'of'Snapchat'is'that'you'can'decide'for'how'long'the'
recipient'can'see'the'message,'and'there'is'some'rudimentary'form'of'
screenshot'protec2on.'This'makes'Snapchat'a'plauorm'notoriously'famous'for'
sex2ng;'sending'messages'with'sexual'content.'
All'is'not'well'in'wonderland,'however,'because'this'privacy'is'largely'an'
illusion.'Third'party'clients'that'allow'for'storing'pictures'indenitely'and'
uploading'pictures'from'storage'and'make'them'look'as'if'they'were'just'taken'
are'plenty.'Well'look'at'how'to'leverage'some'of'this'later.

Dierences
There'are'some'huge'dierences'in'how'Tinder'and'Snapchat'work.'Both'of'the'
services'have'eec2ve'techniques'that'transfer'to'other'kinds'of'mobile'and'
online'da2ng'services,'however.
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Tinder'is'a'match'based'service,'meaning'that'given'certain'criteria,'you'll'
match'with'a'subset'of'the'registered'user'mass'before'you're'allowed'to'
communicate'with'them.'In'a'sense,'this'is'similar'to'how'tradi2onal'speed'
da2ng'works;'you're'exposed'to'a'number'of'people,'you'can'both'decide'
whether'or'not'you'like'the'other'person,'and'if'you'both'agree,'it's'a'"match".'
A'match'gives'you'the'opportunity'to'communicate'with'the'other'party.
When'communica2ng'using'Tinder,'you'll'send'a'message'to'a'single'person'at'
a'2me,'and'there'will'be'an'expecta2on'of'an'answer'most'of'the'2me.'This'is'
fairly'similar'to'tex2ng.'This'means'that'if'you'send'a'message'that's'not'well'
received,'or'if'2me'is'not'permiQng,'it's'not'uncommon'to'have'a'message'leR'
"hanging".'This'is'a'"synchronous"'messaging'paXern,'sort'of'a'"lock'step"'
dance,'where'both'par2es'are'required'to'par2cipate'to'drive'the'interac2on'
forward.
The'good'thing'about'messaging'on'Tinder'is'that'in'contrast'to'Facebook,'
Skype,'MSN,'etc,'you'can't'really'tell'whether'or'not'the'other'person'has'read'
your'message'on'Tinder.'Again,'it'is'more'similar'to'tex2ng.'This'is'good'
because'it'allows'you'to'synchronously'push'the'interac2on'forward'at'your'
own'pace.
Snapchat'is'a'contact'based'service'where'the'requirements'for'becoming'
"friends"'is'usually'preXy'low.'When'ring'o'a'"snap",'it's'quite'common'to'
have'a'lot'of'people'on'the'recipient'list'for'the'same'message.'In'other'words,'
you're'not'required'to'get'a'response'from'the'other'party,'and'it's'not'
uncommon'to'have'a'tengtogone'ra2o'with'messages'you'send'versus'
messages'you'receive.'In'a'sense,'Snapchat'scales'from'"broadcas2ng"'to'oneg
ongone'messaging,'and'selec2ng'where'to'push'is'part'of'the'skill.

Goals
Given'all'this'informa2on,'it's'probably'a'good'idea'to'state'an'over'arching'
goal'for'the'whole'exercise.'We'll'break'this'goal'into'two'measurable'
components;'yield'and'funnelling.
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Yield
This'means'that'well'start'by'looking'at'your'yield.'This'might'seem'like'an'
overly'technical'term,'and'youre'welcome'to'skip'this'if'you'want.'But'this'is'
the'core'of'everything.'Given'your'investment'in'terms'of'2me'and'money,'
how'much'can'you'expect'to'"succeed"'with'girls?'How'much'2me'can'you'
expect'to'have'to'put'in'to'get'the'kind'of'girlfriend(s)'or'female'encounters'
you'want'to'make'you'happy?
Part'of'the'purpose'of'this'book'is'to'increase'your'yield.'On'a'per'dollar'and'
per'minute'basis,'I'want'you'to'simply'be'able'to'squeeze'more'out'of'life.'I'
urge'you'to'try'to'have'a'conscious'rela2onship'to'your'yield.'You'dont'need'to'
track'it'in'detail,'but'youre'welcome'to'if'you'want.'Just'think'about'it.'Your'
2me'is'valuable.'Your'hard'earned'cash'should'be'yours'to'keep'and/or'spend'
on'people'you'truly'care'for.

Funnelling
While'you're'becoming'eec2ve'with'this,'you'll'see'that'the'most'eec2ve'
way'to'organize'your'days'is'like'a'funnel.'You'll'spend'a'liXle'2me'on'Tinder,'
you'll'spend'a'liXle'2me'on'Snapchat,'you'll'go'on'one'or'two'rst'dates,'you'll'
bring'a'girl'back'to'your'apartment,'etc.
At'any'2me,'you'll'have'a'bunch'of'prospects'at'dierent'places'in'this'funnel,'
and'the'crea2on'and'maintenance'of'an'eec2ve'funnel'is'key'to'increasing'
your'yield.'It'is'then'also,'obviously,'one'of'the'key'focuses'of'this'book.
Keep'in'mind'that'the'funnel'is'a'tool.'It'is'a'set'of'training'wheels,'and'you'
won't'need'it'forever.'Once'you've'mastered'the'dierent'parts'of'interac2ons,'
you'might'not'need'a'funnel'at'all.'It'is'a'good'organiza2onal'and'learning'tool,'
however.'Even'if'you'never'setup'a'funnel,'it'can'be'a'good'idea'to'consider'
your'prospect'in'terms'of'one'at'2mes,'because'it'will'help'you'troubleshoot'
your'game.'It'will'improve'your'2ming.'But'at'the'end'of'the'day'it'is'just'
another'learning'tool.

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Not&fucking&up
One'big'goal'in'this'is'to'create'a'shiR'in'how'you'perceive'roman2c'
interac2ons.'A'lot'of'guys'try'to'impress'women'and'come'o'as'tryghard,'
permissive'and'needy.'We'need'to'shiR'this'from'a'mindset'of'"I'need'to'show'
her'that'I'm'good'enough"'to'one'of'"Let's'just'try'not'to'fuck'this'up".'This'
sounds'kind'of'silly,'but'the'truth'of'the'maXer'is'that'in'a'lot'of'cases'you'll'
start'out'being'good%enough.'Then'you'do'something'immensely'stupid'to'
make'it'abundantly'clear'that'it's'not'the'case.'95%'of'the'2me'when'you'get'
laid,'this'will'be'the'case.
In'the'rare'5%'where'she'has'already'measured'you'and'nd'you'lacking,'and'
you'manage'to'masterfully'turn'this'around'to'your'advantage,'you'll'spend'a'
lot'more'2me.'Also,'with'this'outset'it's'way'easier'to'fuck'up'and'become'
sucked'into'a'needy'loop.'However,'when'you'actually'nail'these,'it's'a'lot'of'
fun,'so'I'm'not'saying'that'you'shouldn't'do'it.'It'just'shouldn't'be'your'gogto'
game,'because'in'many'cases'you'll'end'up'over%gaming'and'drive'women'
away'from'you.

What&to&expect
It'is'funny'and'sad'watching'people'trying'to'get'good'at'"game",'good'with'
women.'
It'is'funny'because'people'are'working'extremely'hard'and'failing'miserably.'It'
is'sad'because'of'the'same'reasons.'When'you'pick'up'a'mainstream'system'for'
game,'you'are'given'no'guarantee'that'it's'going'to'work'for'you.'From'my'
experience'it'seems'haphazard'who'succeeds'with'which'systems.'ORen'you'll'
see'the'same'person'succeed'with'dierent'systems,'systems'that'downright'
contradict'each'other.'And'unfortunately'you'll'see'people'who'will'seemingly'
fail'regardless'of'the'quality'and'nature'of'the'material'you'put'in'their'hands.
What'you'can'expect'from'this'book'is'a'system'that'gives'you'an'insight'into'
not'only'how'to'increase'your'yield,'but'also'eec2vely'troubleshoot'what'you'
are'doing.

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I've'always'hated'pain.'I'think'it'is'nature's'way'of'telling'you'that'you're'doing'
something'wrong.'Because'of'this'I've'also'taken'care'to'describe'paths'to'
success'for'people'who'exhibit'social'anxiety.'As'a'maXer'of'fact,'the'
informa2on'in'this'book'should'help'you'out'if'you'feel'this'applies'to'you,'
because'you'will'hopefully'be'able'to'look'at'what'you're'doing'in'a'systema2c'
way.
Tinder'is'harsh.'You'will'be'rejected'every'step'of'the'way.'From'the'rst'girl'
you'swipe'right'who'you'don't'match'with,'to'ending'up'in'bed'with'a'beau2ful'
girl'that'later'decides'that'you're'not'really'what'she's'looking'for'and'
everything'in'between.
You'll'have'matches'that'don't'reply'to'your'advances.'You'll'have'conversa2ons'
that'die'out.'People'will'talk'to'you'and'decide'they'don't'want'to'meet'you.'
You'll'meet'with'people'who'are'going'to'end'up'not'liking'you.'You'll'meet'
people'who'like'you,'but'nothing'roman2c'or'sexual'ever'happens.
All'these'things'are'covered'in'a'way'that'allows'you'to'improve'every'step'of'
the'way,'un2l'you're'nally'able'to'nd'what'you're'looking'for,'be'it'quan2ty'
(banging'a'lot'of'chicks)'or'quality'(nding'the%one).
But'one'thing'you'can'expect'for'sure'is'that'it'will'be'a%lot%of%work.'But'most'of'
the'work'will'be'the'kind'that'you'actually'learn'from'in'a'pain'free'
environment.'I'do'want'you'to'have'high'expecta2ons,'and'when'you'put'in'the'
2me'you'will'see'results.
You'll'see'that'it's'hard'to'provide'hard'metrics'of'what'to'expect'in'terms'of'
numbers,'how'many'matches'should'you'get'a'day?'How'many'people'should'
you'meet'a'week?'It'obviously'depends'on'the'adop2on'rate'of'the'services'in'
your'city.

Dierences&between&mobileL,&onlineL&and&plain&ol&game
There'are'obvious'dierences'between'mobileg,'onlineg'and'just'plain'game.'
The'core'concepts'should's2ll'be'the'same,'however,'so'things'you'learn'using'
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Tinder'should'apply'on'Snapchat'given'that'you'understand'the'dierences'in'
the'formats'of'the'media.'The'core'concepts'should'also'be'equally'relevant'in'
real'life,'so'you'can'use'them'in'a'da2ng'situa2on,'or'even'doing'dayg'or'night'
game'if'you'are'of'that'persuasion.

About&the&author&and&the&informa9on&herein
To'test'the'techniques'in'this'book'and'validate'them,'I'slept'with'four'girls'four'
nights'in'a'row;'ve'that'week,'10'that'month.'It's'not'really'that'impressive'if'
you'look'at'the'amount'of'work'that'goes'into'learning'these'techniques.'But'
for'me,'this'is'sucient'to'reach'what'I'imagine'is'a'point'of'sexual'satura2on.'
Where'sex'goes'from'being'something'that'bothers'you'and'is'constantly'on'
your'mind,'to'just'being'another'thing'you'feel'you'have'enough'of.'In'a'way,'
the'dierence'between'going'hungry'and'having'food'on'the'table.
I'urged'my'friend'to'test'Tinder.'He'slept'with'6'girls'in'6'consecu2ve'days.'I'
told'him'I'wanted'to'run'the'material'by'him'and'pick'his'brain.'I'spent'hours'
discussing'the'concepts'with'him,'also'reverse'engineering'his'and'my'game'to'
be'able'to'dis2ll'it'into'something'thats'correct'and'repeatable.
There'is'a'reason'why'I'feel'qualied'to'write'this'book.'I've'done'game'for'
many'years,'both'clubg,'dayg'and'online'game.'And'I've'been'immensely'
successful'at'all'of'them.
Most'"pickup'gurus"'tell'you'a'sob'story'about'how'they'used'to'be'total'
fuckups,'just'like'you'are'today,'and'I'guess'I'could'go'down'that'route.'But'it'
would'be'unethical.'I'was'banging'girls'leR'and'right'just'being'me'way'before'I'
heard'about'this'thing'called'"the'game".
I've'been'religious'about'reverse'engineering,'however,'and'I'have'to'tell'you:'
The'current'state'of'mainstream'game'is'abysmal.'There'is'so'much'
informa2on'out'there'that'is'just'plain'bad'and'created'for'prot.
I'hope'that'you'll'agree'that'this'book'doesn't'fall'into'that'category.

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I'am'not'a'"pickup'guru".'I'm'a'normal'guy.'I'think'"game"'is'fascina2ng,'but'
the'more'you'can'cut'away'from'the'superg'and'ar2cial'the'beXer.'Get'to'the'
core'of'yourself'and'communicate'it'naturally.'Not'through'modeling'and'
pushing'like'the'other'guys'prescribe,'but'through'peeling'away'layers'of'"bad",'
un2l'what's'leR'is'a'purer'and'more'aXrac2ve'version'of'you.
Yeah,'you've'heard'all'this'before,'but'very'seldomly'will'people'really'tell'you'
how.'Well,'the'bad'news'is'that'in'this'book'I'won't'either,'because'this'is'about'
mobile'gaming.'It'is'impossible,'however,'to'become'en2rely'successful'at'it'
without'at'least'some'exposure'to'these'concepts,'so'you'll'get'a'liXle'sampler'
plaXer'in'addi2on'to'the'purely'mobile'magic.'So'you're'free'to'pursue'those'
resources'as'well,'with'no'earning'going'my'way.'I'just'recommend'some'other'
reading'material'because'it'is'really%good.
I'm'39'years'old'at'the'2me'of'wri2ng,'and'most'girls'I'bed'are'20g24'years'old.'
It'seems'to'have'just'stopped'at'that'sweet'spot'lately.'It's'not'that'I'don't'
venture'o'that'beaten'path,'but'I'just'seem'to'gravitate'towards'it.'As'part'of'
this'process'I've'been'with'girls'from'18'to'33.
What'I'm'presen2ng'in'this'book'isn't'all'invented'here.'It's'a'collec2on'of'bestg
ofgbreed'techniques'coupled'with'solid'theory'of'why'it'works.'I'think'that'you'
probably'won't'nd'a'beXer'and'more'correct'handling'of'this'theory'
anywhere'right'now,'but'I'might'just'be'full'of'myself.'Spend'some'2me'with'
the'material'and'come'join'us'at'hXp://www.ignitemobileda2ng.com'and'make'
up'your'own'mind.

I'hope'you'nd'this'useful.

Yours'in'Elvis,

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Thomas'Denson
ignitemobileda2ng@gmail.com

21

You
How'you'do'in'this'is'ul2mately'going'to'boil'down'to'who'you'are.'People'
tradi2onally'schooled'in'game'focus'to'the'extreme'on'what'you'say'and'how'
you'say'it.'I'predict'there'will'be'a'change'in'paradigm'here,'which'focuses'on'
who'does'something'rather'than'how'it's'done.
This'might'seem'a'liXle'dubious,'and'it'might'not'even'make'sense'right'now.'
But'let's'quickly'look'at'what'it'means.'This'is'really'a'liXle'outside'the'scope'of'
a'book'on'mobile'da2ng,'but'it'will'dictate'your'success'down'the'line.'Because'
of'this,'it'is'a'good'thing'to'at'least'have'this'in'the'back'of'your'mind'as'you'do'
the'stu'with'the'apps'and'meet'up'with'people'in'person.

Core&values
Your'core'values'are'always'going'to'shine'through.'These'are'not'important'
directly'to'create'aXrac2on,'meaning,'you'do'not'want'to'pick'core'values'to'
align'with'someone.'This'isnt'necessary;'it'is'actually'an'aXrac2on'killer.'This'
kind'of'behavior'is'highly'supplica2ng'and'what'we'usually'consider'
permissive.'
You'need'to'gure'out'what'you'personally'value'and'make'sure'your'
environment'falls'into'alignment'with'it.'This'is'the'opposite'of'being'
permissive,'this'is'being'screening.'Once'people'no2ce'that'youre'
screening,'theyll'automa2cally'try'to'meet'your'standards.'It'is'a'part'of'
human'nature.'It'doesnt'mean'that'they'will'compromise'their'own'core'
values,'although'they'will'some'2mes.
You'dont'need'to'act'like'an'asshole'to'communicate'your'core'values.'You'
dont'even'have'to'agree'with'someone'on'core'topics'for'you'to'be'a'decent'
match.'It'just'always'helps'to'know'what'your'preferences'are.
This'short'introduc2on'to'screening'is'not'enough'for'you'to'naturally'
communicate'your'core'values'in'an'aXrac2ve'way,'but'well'cover'that'in'the'
future'chapter'on'doing'the'actual'communica2ons.'It'is'just'a'lot'easier'if'
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youre'familiar'with'your'own'core,'who'you'are.

Brand
Crea2ng'a'"brand"'can'be'highly'benecial.'This'basically'means'that'you'align'
your'presenta2on'with'a'well'known'archetype.'This'will'make'it'easier'to's2ck'
out'in'a'crowd,'it'will'give'you'more'focus'and'will'make'you'more'interes2ng'
to'women.
When'picking'a'brand,'pick'one'that'rou2nely'gets'laid.'This'might'seem'
supercial,'and'it'is.'But'consider'this:'Women'know'that'rockstars'get'laid.'If'
you'look'like'a'rockstar'and'they'want'to'get'laid,'would'they'not'naturally'
gravitate'towards'you'if'you'look'like'one?
This'is'a'concept'called'"polariza2on".'If'you'polarize'in'a'certain'direc2on,'you'
will'aXract'more'women'of'a'certain'kind'while'repulsing'another'segment.'
The'idea'with'polarizing'is'that'even'if'you'don't'always'get'a'favorable'
response'you'always'get'one'that's'emo2onally'charged.
Compare'this'to'the'always'luke'warm'response'you'll'get'if'your'pictures'all'
have'you'wearing'a'bland'pologshirt.
It'is'beXer'to'have'some'favorable'highly'emo2onal'responses'than'a'bunch'of'
luke'warm'ones.
There'are'a'lot'of'dierent'brands'you'can'go'for.'Go'to'a'club'where'the'kinds'
of'girls'you'like'go.'Just'stake'it'out'for'the'night'and'see'what'kinds'of'brands'
the'guys'who'actually'are'connec2ng'and'pulling'girls'are'communica2ng.'If'
these'brands'resonate'with'you,'try'them'on.
Typical'brands'that'you'might'try'are:

Indie
Rocker
Emo
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Rich'dickhole
Dandy
Hipster
Fisherman'(!)

When'picking'out'your'brand'you'can'also'check'out'fashion'magazines'for'the'
latest'trends,'but'don't'go'overboard'and'get'a'whole'new'wardrobe.'We'll'get'
into'maximizing'your'results'with'as'liXle'cost'and'eort'as'possible.
Belonging'to'a'brand'also'has'the'benet'of'suddenly'commanding'the'benets'
of'uniformity.'This'whole'idea'of'belonging'to'a'group'of'people'gives'you'the'
benet'of'strength'in'numbers.'You'don't'punch'a'Liverpool'supporter'in'the'
face'when'you're'at'his'club'house.'You'don't'mess'with'a'soldier'when'you'
know'he's'got'an'army'to'back'him'up.'This'is'the'same'eect'you'can'leverage;'
if'you't'in'and'seem'to'belong'to'a'group,'you'll'automa2cally'communicate'
the'strength'of'the'group'you'seem'to'belong'to.
You'can'benet'from'this'eect'by'choosing'a'brand'that'shows'a'strong'
belonging'to'a'group'of'people.'It'allows'you'to'get'away'with'more.
It'doesn't'mean,'however,'that'you'should'try'to'blend'in'so'well'that'you'
disappear.'Add'a'couple'of'twists'to'it,'so'you'make'it'your'own.'We'refer'to'
this'as'raising%your%signature;'you'become'more'visible'and'easier'to'track'in'
an'environment.

Experience
Knowing'yourself'is'part'of'all'of'this.'Don't'be'surprised'that'you'actually'get'
to'know'yourself'in'a'dierent'way'aRer'5g10'dates'with'new'women,'as'new'
impulses'will'probe'dierent'parts'of'you'and'force'you'to'consider'yourself'in'
a'new'light'and'reevaluate'your'connec2on'to'the'world.
This'is'called'experience,'and'it'is'a'killer'feature.
While'there'are'ways'to'fake'experience'(or'rather,'create%the%illusion%of%
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experience),'it'is'really'not'that'hard'to'accumulate,'and'it's'a'fun'process.'To'
speed'up'the'consolida2on'of'new'experiences'and'to'grow'as'a'person,'it'is'a'
good'idea'to'do'a'couple'of'things'in'response'to'your'adventures.
You'should'rou2nely'journal'to'process'experiences.'This'allows'you'to'
consciously'consider'what's'happened'and'it'makes'it'easier'to'remember'
dierent'interac2ons'and'events.'This'conscious'rela2onship'to'your'
experiences'will'also'allow'you'to'match'them'up'and'make'sense'of'the'
techniques'you'get'from'this'book'and'other'sources.
Ideally,'you'should'discuss'your'experiences'with'others.'This'will'help'you'to'
see'things'in'dierent'perspec2ves'and'this'is'actually'part'of'what'experience'
is.'So'yes,'recommend'this'book'to'a'friend'(or'just'hand'him'a'copy,'I'won't'tell'
anyone),'and'schedule'weekly'meets'where'you'discuss'how'you'did.'This'
format'is'oRen'referred'to'as'a'mastermind%group,'from'Napoleon'Hill's'Think'
and'Grow'Rich.'The'important'thing'is'that'you'align'yourself'with'people'with'
similar'goals'and'the'willingness'to'put'in'the'work.'Make'sure'they'are,'as'
anyone'who'has'dierent'goals'and/or'is'unwilling'to'put'in'the'work'will'
actually'slow'you'down'instead'of'helping'you'get'ahead.

Hobbies&and&interests
Imagine'trying'to'connect'with'someone'who'only'cares'for'muscle'cars.
You'try'to'talk'to'them'about'The'Ellen'Show'or'Firey.'You'want'to'tell'them'
about'the'new'Szechuan'restaurant'on'the'corner'where'you'live.'You'ask'them'
if'they'want'to'go'to'a'concert'next'week'to'see'Steel'Panther.
But'they'only'care'for'muscle'cars.
Don't'be'that'guy.'If'you'have'a'hard'2me'being'interested'in'things'in'general,'
that'sucks.'It'will'be'harder'for'you'to'connect'with'people,'because'you're'the'
muscle'car'guy.'Or'the'computer'geek.'Or'the'anime'fan.'Or'the'conspiracy'
theorist.'Or'the'baseball'fan.

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In'a'sense,'you'can'look'at'people'as'almost'having'an'internal'"menu".'You'
don't'go'to'a'place'that'only'serves'one'type'of'burger,'not'every'day.'You'want'
to'be'able'to'engage'in'dierent'topics'and'serve'dierent'dishes.'You'do'this'
by'having'experience'with'mul2ple'things.'
If'you'really'can't'muster'up'any'interest'in'a'topic,'it's'usually'because'you'
really'don't'know'anything'about'it.'People'who'follow'baseball'tend'to'nd'
sta2s2cs'immensely'interes2ng,'and'the'enjoyment'of'the'game'increases'
because'of'it.'This'is'the'same'way'you're'more'likely'to'enjoy'wine'if'you'know'
something'about'it.'Or'music'if'you'follow'a'scene'for'a'while.
Increasing'your'menu'will'make'it'easier'to'connect'with'more'people.'It'is'
also,'like'geQng'experience'in'general,'a'truly'enjoyable'experience.

Profession
I'm'not'going'to'talk'much'about'profession,'and'neither'should'you.
Try'to'not'be'dened'by'your'profession.'I'am'a'computer'programmer'by'day,'
and'I'understand'that'this'is'something'preXy'much'nobody'cares'about.'
Therefore'I'don't'talk'much'about'it.'I'limit'it'to'the'parts'of'my'job'that'have'
an'emo2onal'component;'it'allows'me'to'solve'problems,'kind'of'like'Sudoku,'
on'a'daily'basis,'and'the'products'I'have'made'that'they'might'know'about.'But'
I'don't'sit'down'and'tell'people'about'what'my'day'really'looks'like'or'discuss'
the'benets'of'the'.NET'plauorm'over'Java.
If'you'spend'too'much'2me'talking'about'your'profession,'you'll'end'up'being'
muscle'car'guy.'Don't'become'muscle'car'guy.
This'is'a'part'of'knowing%your%audience,'geQng'a'feeling'for'what'people'
respond'to'and'are'aXracted'to.

Friends
Your'friends'aren't'just'great'assets'for'you'personally'as'shoulders'to'cry'on'
and'feet'to'fetch'you'beer,'they'are'extremely'valuable'in'a'da2ng'situa2on.'
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They'take'you'on'adventures,'they'have'quirks'and'interes2ng'personali2es'
and'they'are'in'important'part'of'your'environment'in'the'way'they'shape'you.'
They'tell'you'stories'from'their'lives'and'allow'you'to'accumulate'experiences'
vicariously.
If'you'have'a'friend'you'get'blackout'drunk'with,'and'he'tends'to'recap'the'
night'for'you;'tell'you'a'bunch'of'funny'stories'that'you'd'forgoXen,'he's'a'great'
asset.
If'you'have'a'friend'who'is'the'horniest'guy'you'know,'and'his'mouth'starts'
watering'whenever'he'sees'a'woman,'he's'an'asset'to'you'in'a'date'situa2on.
If'you'have'a'friend'who'is'a'sore'loser,'talk'about'him.
This'is'not'to'put'yourself'in'a'good'or'beXer'light,'you'don't'want'to'compare'
yourself'to'your'friends.'They'are'a'part'of'you,'a'part'of'how'you'are'
composed.
You'don't'love'your'friends'because'you're'extremely'similar,'you'love'your'
friends'because'you'manage'to'hang'out'in'spite'of'your'dierences.'You'love'
your'friends'because'they'guide'you'in'life'and'are'inspira2ons'for'you.'
This,'to'some'extent,'allows'you'to'be'muscle'car'guy'and's2ll'not'be.'And'your'
friends,'ul2mately,'will'naturally'help'you'transi2on'if'you'want.'They'just'add'
to'the'entropy'of'your'life.
If'they'don't'Well,'I'just'hope'they'do,'because'friends'are'more'than'just'
friends.

Stories
Thinking'about'your'friends,'you'will'no'doubt'remember'a'bunch'of'funny'
stories.'Think'of'these'as'garnishes'on'your'menu,'stu'you'can'use'to'spice'up'
a'conversa2on.'The'more'of'these'you'have,'the'beXer.'You'll'have'one'for'any'
occasion,'for'any'topic.'Ideally,'these'stories'will'have'a'lot'of'features'that'
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people'can'latch'on'to.
I'm'not'advoca2ng'that'you'memorize'a'bunch'of'stories'and'spout'them'out'
date'aRer'date.'This'is'crappy'behavior,'and'it'will'bore'you'to'tears.'I'just'
recommend'you'work'on'expanding'your'menu.'
Don't'worry'about'transi2oning'to'these'stories,'tell'them'if'you'nd'them'
interes2ng'and're2re'them'when'they'start'to'bore'you.'And'use'them'
sparingly;'it'is'OK'to'fall'in'love'with'your'own'voice,'but'make'room'for'two'in'
a'conversa2on.
I'm'not'saying'you'should'physically'bring'your'friends'to'dates'with'women,'
but'you'always'carry'some'of'them'with'you.'If'you'have'friends'with'
interes2ng'stories,'you'll'never'run'out'of'things'to'say'over'a'cup'of'tea.

The&physical&you
You'are'a'bright'point'of'light,'of'pure'consciousness,'beau2ful'and'eternal.
Unfortunately'you'have'a'vessel'of'meat,'bone,'skin'and'hair'to'carry'you'
around.'Follicles.'This'vessel'happens'to'be'a'big'part'of'what'people'are'
aXracted'to,'and'that'makes'it'important'to'keep'it'in'shape,'groom'it'and'care'
for'it.

Height
There'are'things'you'cannot'really'easily'do'anything'with.'Your'height'is'one'of'
them,'and'many'women'are'preXy'strict'about'da2ng'guys'who'are'shorter'
than'themselves.
I'can'only'recommend'you'get'some'nice'Chelsea'boots'with'heels'for'this.'I'm'
a'preXy'tall'guy'myself,'at'6'2",'but'I's2ll'wear'boots'with'heels'of'about'an'
inch.'Not'only'to'add'to'my'height,'but'they'also'give'me'a'more'sexy'walk,'
longer'legs'compared'to'the'rest'of'my'body'and'in'general'they'are'great'for'
walking'around'with.

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Ask'around'and'make'sure'you'nd'something'that'can'be'combined'with'
casual'and'more'dressy'aQres.

Workout
I'm'not'going'to'lie'to'you,'you'need'to'start'a'workout'regime'if'you're'not'
already'on'one.'LiR.'Check'out'the'5x5'programme'and'just'start'doing'it.'This'
is'preXy'much'free'pussy.'You'will'also'feel'beXer,'live'longer,'etc.'I'm'not'going'
to'fucking'harp'on'this,'because'frankly,'it's'not'worth'my'2me.'Just'do'it.'The'
link'to'the'programme'is'in'the'appendix.

Trauma
This'is'a'liXle'controversial,'but'you'might'be'trauma2zed.'Most'people'are'to'
varying'degrees.'Before'you'start'doing'any'kind'of'social'extreme'sports,'deg
trauma2ze'yourself.'To'my'knowledge,'the'most'eec2ve'way'of'doing'this'
right'now'is'called'TRE'(Trauma'Release'Exercise)'by'David'Berceli.'It'is'"the'
most'eec2ve"'because'it'is'cheap'and'easy'to'learn,'you'can'do'it'on'your'
own,'and'you'll'be'beXer'o'for'it.'If'you've'yet'to'be'exposed'to'this'
technique,'this'paragraph'alone'might'be'worth'the'price'of'this'book,'because'
it's'not'about'the'quan2ty'of'the'informa2on,'it'is'about'the'quality.
You'should'also'be'able'to'nd'a'local'TRE'instructor'that'guides'you'through'
the'exercise'the'rst'couple'of'2mes.'This'can'be'helpful,'as'it'is'indeed'
possible'to'do'it'the'wrong'way.'Try'on'your'own'rst,'if'you'see'no'eect,'seek'
someone'out.'The'book'and'other'relevant'resources'are'listed'in'the'
appendix.

29

Data&management
This'system'is'about'volume'and'funnelling'that'volume.'This'means'that'you'
need'a'system'for'data'management.'You'might'have'one'of'these'in'place,'but'
if'you'don't,'you'll'need'one.'Even'if'you'have'one'in'place,'consider'the'ideas'
presented'in'this'chapter,'as'there'is'always'room'for'improvement.
Tinder'will'keep'track'of'your'matches'for'you,'but'there'will'be'many'of'them.'
With'Tinder'contacts'you'will'have'immediate'access'to'their'distance'from'
you,'which'is'valuable.'With'Snapchat,'it's'really'not'that'easy.'Depending'on'
how'you'distribute'your'2me'between'these,'the'requirements'for'a'system'to'
handle'the'informa2on'will'become'vital.
You'can'start'out'without'one,'but'you'll'regret'it.'It's'beXer'to'have'something'
in'place'and'ease'out'of'it'if'it'turns'out'to'be'superuous.
There'are'mul2ple'pieces'of'data'that'you'need'to'keep'track'of,'most'notable'
are'contact'informa2on'and'2me'slots.
Personally,'I'use'Evernote'to'manage'my'data'mining.'The'thing'about'
Snapchat'addresses'is'that'you'll'get'them'everywhere.'On'the'web,'on'Tinderg
proles,'from'girls'you're'talking'to.'Evernote'can'accomodate'all'this,'and'
allows'you'to'tag,'edit'and'in'general'freeform'describe'your'contacts.
It'also'has'a'web'clipper'that'is'preXy'smart,'so'if'you'repeatedly'clip'Snapchat'
addresses,'it'will'suggest'correct'notebooks'and'tags'for'you'automa2cally.'This'
will'save'you'a'lot'of'2me'and'allow'you'to'just'gather'more'data'more'quickly.
I'm'not'going'to'describe'a'system'in'full'detail'because'most'of'you'are'going'
to'want'to'put'personal'spins'on'the'system'anyway.'Just'consider'
implemen2ng'one'early,'because'it'will'make'life'easier'down'the'road.
Evernote'also'has'mobile'clients'for'all'major'plauorms.

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It'is'fairly'easy'to'nd'a'free'calendar'solu2on'that'works'with'your'cell'phone;'
Google&Calendar'is'one'of'them.'Its'important'because'if'you'dont'have'
control'over'your'own'2me'slots,'you'basically'dont'really'have'a'way'to'
communicate'with'women'without'constantly%losing%momentum.
When'data'turns'into'prospects,'I'use'Trello'to'do'funnelling.'Trello'is'freely'
available,'and'is'nice'to'capture'the'ow'of'prospects'through'their'dierent'
states.'Well'go'into'detail'on'how'to'use'Trello'for'managing'current'prospects'
and'debugging'your'progressions'later.

31

Tinder
On'Tinder,'you'create'a'prole'that'is'good'enough'to'generate'"matches".'You'
want'to'quickly'convert'these'matches'to'meetups.'As'oRen'as'desirable,'you'
want'these'meetups'to'turn'into'a'sexual'encounter.
Tinder,'in'a'sense,'cons2tutes'its'own'fully'etched'funnel;'your'ini2al'contact'
is'on'Tinder,'your'matching'and'your'communica2on'can'all'be'done'on'Tinder'
all'the'way'to'and'past'sex.'

Account
You'll'need'an'account'to'use'Tinder.'This'account'can'be'created'easily'and'for'
free.
Signing'up'is'a'simple'process'where'you'basically'just'mirror'the'data'you'have'
on'your'Facebook'account.'This'basically'means'that'if'you'want'to'doctor'any'
of'these'values,'you'need'to'tweak'your'Facebook'account'prior'to'signing'up'
for'Tinder.'
Alterna2vely,'you'can'recycle'(delete'and'regsignup)'your'Tinder'account'to'
reect'some'of'the'changes.'A'lot'of'the'aXributes'in'the'account'will'be'
updated'from'Facebook'in'your'Tinder'account'without'having'to'signup'fresh,'
but'key'stu'like'your'name'and'age'will'not'be'changed'aRer'signup.
Another'reason'to'recycle'your'account'is'that'you'will'be'exposed'to'the'same'
women'a'second'2me.'This'can'be'very'handy'if'you'have'a'prole'which'is'
heavily'polarized.'Also,'if'you've'done'split'tes2ng'of'your'prole'pictures,'but'
we'll'get'into'this'later.
Just'keep'in'mind'that'when'we'discuss'recycling'your'prole,'this'means'that'
you'delete'it'and'signup'fresh.'This'will'remove'all'your'matches,'so'do'not'do'
this'unless'you'have'alternate'contact'informa2on'for'all'prospects.
Also,'keep'in'mind'that'it'is'a'possibility'to'create'mul2ple'Facebook'accounts,'
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and'maintain'one'for'the'sole'purpose'of'running'Tinder.'This'is'against'the'
current'terms'and'condi2ons'on'Facebook,'so'research'this'and'apply'at'your'
own'risk.'It'can'be'highly'benecial,'and'we'll'get'into'why'a'liXle'bit'later.
Basically,'recycling'your'prole'is'a'surere'way'to'get'two'chances'to'make'a'
rst'impression,'and'you'should'know'about'this'possibility.
Your&rst&name'will'be'copied'from'Facebook.'Your'middle'name'will'not.'This'
is'good'to'know'in'case'your'rst'and'middle'name'when'combined'have'a'high'
signature'and'is'easily'recognizable,'especially'if'you'value'your'privacy.'And'
you'should'if'you're'not'completely'honest'about'all'variables.
Your&age'is'copied'from'Facebook'at'account'crea2on,'and'cannot'be'changed.'
Tinder'claims'it'will'change'upon'login,'but'this'seems'to'not'be'consistently'
the'case,'so'pay'special'aXen2on'to'your'Facebook'age'prior'to'crea2ng'your'
Tinder'account.'
You'can'change'your'age'on'Facebook,'but'keep'in'mind'that'this'can'only'be'
done'a'limited'amount'of'2mes.'When'you'surpass'a'certain'limit,'Facebook'
will'simply'disable'the'op2on'to'change'your'birthdate'completely.
Personally,'I'keep'my'birth'year'private'on'Facebook,'and'I'm'currently'shaving'
o'6'years,'changing'my'birth'year'from'1974'to'1980.'This'is'because'I'can'get'
away'with'it'and'it'just'opens'up'the'pool'for'me;'it'just'allows'me'to'date'
younger'women.

Pictures
Pictures'are'what'Tinder'is'all'about.'It'is'true'that'it'is'just'one'of'many'
variables'that'create'your'"prole",'however,'the'pictures'are'by'far'the'most'
important'part.
The'sad'thing'about'this'is'that'we're'not'all'great'lookers.
The'good'thing'is'that'you'can'take'1,000'pictures'and'discard'999'of'them.'
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This'is'a'sobering'exercise,'but'it'pays'o'generously.
It'is'also'possible'to'actually'learn'to'become'more'photogenic.
Finally,'a'lot'can'be'done'when'post'processing'an'image.

The&Calling&Card
The'rst'picture'in'your'stack'of'up'to'7'is'oRen'referred'to'as'your'calling%card.'
It'is'of'utmost'importance'that'you'put%your%best%picture%rst.'Tinder'is'built'in'
such'a'way'that'you'actually'have'to'make'an'eort'to'see'anything'but'the'
rst'picture.'So'make'sure'the'rst'picture'is'the'absolute'best.'This'means:

It'should'be'abundantly'clear'which'person'in'the'picture'is'you.
It'should'be'easy'to'see'what'you'look'like;'there'should'be'no'reason'to'
check'out'the'other'pictures'to'get'a'good'idea'if'youre'aXrac2ve'or'not.
You'need'to'look'somewhat'aXrac2ve'in'this'picture.
You'should'refrain'from'making'it%too%edgy.'Refrain'from'polarizing'too'
hard'in'your'rst'picture.
It'is'OK'to'show'some'of'who'you'are'in'terms'of'interests,'but'make'you'
the'main'focus.

When'faced'with'a'huge'selec2on'as'on'Tinder,'women'become'extremely'
shallow.'Most'women'wont'wade'through'your'pictures'if'the'rst'picture'
doesnt'pique'their'interest.

My&Calling&Card
Im'going'to'walk'you'through'the'reasoning'for'my'own'calling'card.'This'is'the'
only'picture'I'use'of'me'at'2mes.

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You'can'see'what'I'look'like,'but'it'is's2ll'a'liXle'mysterious.
I'have'an'ENERGIEgbag'located'in'the'boXom'leR'corner.'It'is'cut'o'so'it'
looks'like'the'words'spell'out'ORGIE,'a'valid'alterna2ve'spelling'for'the'
word'orgy.'Coincidence?
I'have'a'guitar'there,'a'Gibson.'I'really'suck'at'playing'guitar,'but'I'own'it'
and'the'chicks'dig'it.
I'have'an'Apple'iPad'which'I'seem'to'be'studying'closely.'See,'Im'
implicitly'endorsed'by'three'brands'without'it'taking'the'focus'away'
from'me.
The'shot'is'a'fake%candid.'Im'pretending'not'to'no2ce'that'Im'being'
taken'a'picture'of.'In'reality'I'can'see'the'picture'as'it'is'being'taken'on'
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the'iPad,'making'adjustments'as'needed.'This'is'sele'porn.
This'picture'tells'a'story.'What'is'he'wai2ng'for?'Where'is'he'going?'To'
band%camp?
The'whole'picture'is'color'coordinated'without'being'matchyDmatchy.
It'looks'like'it'could'have'been'taken'with'an'iPhone'camera'and'run'
through'some'Instagram'lters.'This'makes'it'appear'like'it's'not'try%hard.
Im'wearing'generous'amounts'of'makeup,'including'mascara'and'
eyeliner.'
I'am'sucking'in'my'cheeks'a'liXle,'Zoolander'style,'to'give'my'face'
deni2on.
I'did'quite'extensive'work'to'2dy'this'part'of'the'apartment'before'I'took'
the'picture.'I'removed'a'bunch'of'stu'from'the'window'sill'and'a'table'
thats'usually'in'front'of'the'sofa.
The'picture'seems'casual,'but'is'actually'shot'with'a'strobe'ash'pointed'
up'in'the'leR'corner'to'give'a'soR'light'eect.
The'picture'has'been'quite'extensively'post'processed'using'Photoshop'
and'Perfect'Eects.'Annoying'items'in'the'background'have'been'
removed.'My'skin'has'been'healed.'I'lled'in'some'of'my'hair.'I'removed'
dust'and'speckles'from'my'clothing.'
The'combina2on'of'ligh2ng,'makeup'and'Photoshop'allow'me'to'easily'
pass'for'33'even'if'Im'39.

Well'go'through'many'of'these'things'in'the'appendices,'I'just'wanted'to'give'
you'an'idea'of'what'my'prole'looks'like.'I'want'you'to'think'like'this'when'you'
design'your'calling'card.'How'can'you'showcase'yourself'in'a'aXering'way,'
while's2ll'crea2ng'hooks'for'her'to'act'on?

Hot&or&not
So,'are'you'hot'or'not?
There'are'a'number'of'ways'to'nd'out.
A'simple'one'is'to'ask&your&female&friends'to'pick'out'some'pictures'from'a'
bunch'of'them.'Ideally,'do'this'before'you'start'processing'them.'This'saves'you'
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from'spending'2me'polishing'turds.'You'can'also'run'the'nished'result'by'
them,'but'try'it'without'men2oning'that'you've'done'digital'plas2c'surgery'on'
yourself.'If'they'no2ce,'you've'overdone'it.'If'they'don't,'and'just'nd'the'
picture'to'be'a'good'picture'of'you,'you've'hit'the'sweet'spot.
It'is'also'possible'to'do&split&tes9ng&of&pictures.'Run'a'set'of'pictures'for'a'
couple'of'days,'exchange'them'for'a'dierent'set'and'see'how'they'do.'It'is'a'
liXle'hard'to'calculate'how'long'they'are'in'circula2on'for'and'what,'exactly,'
the'girls'are'exposed'to'when'you're'trying'to'gure'out'what'works'the'best.'
This'is'made'a'liXle'simpler'if'you'decide'on'going'for'mul2ple'Facebook'
accounts'and'spoong'loca2on;'all'this'is'explained'later,'but'the'basic'
takeaway'is'that'you'can'actually'test'your'images'on'real'life'women'without'
burning'your'prospects'and'gather'very'accurate'sta2s2cs'on'how'the'dierent'
pictures'perform'with'the'opposite'sex.'It's'just'a'liXle'work,'that's'all.'For'
instruc2ons'on'how'to'do'advances'split'tes2ng,'see'here:'Tes2ng'pictures'and'
approaches.

What&kind&of&pictures&do&you&need?
If'you'need'to'fully'understand'how'to'take'a'decent'picture'and'what'a'decent'
picture'is,'you'can'check'out'the'appendices'with'general'photography'2ps'and'
processing.'For'now,'let's'just'look'at'which'kinds'of'pictures'you'want'to'have'
on'your'prole.
When'I'started'ipping'through'the'pool'of'women'on'Tinder,'I'was'preXy'
amazed'at'how'boring,'bad'and'uninteres2ng'pictures'they'had.'This'will'
obviously'change'depending'on'where'you'are'in'the'world,'and'I'have,'sadly,'
no'way'of'checking'all'dierent'environments.
This'was'what'females'typically'tried'to'pass'o'as'decent'prole'pictures:

Them'snorkelling,'scubag'or'skydiving.

Them'hugging'a'dolphin.

Them'standing'on'the'top'of'a'mountain,'facing'a'beau2ful'
landscape.
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America.

Them'with'a'bunch'of'friends.
Them'dressed'up'as'Op2mus'Prime'for'Halloween.
Their'silhoueXe'dancing'on'top'of'a'Bangkok'skyscraper.
Them'on'the'Great'Wall'of'China.
Them'being'depicted'with'a'street'kid'from'Africa'or'South'

Interes2ng'life,'I'kept'thinking'to'myself,'but'all'I'really'want'is'to'see'what%
you%look%like.
ARer'a'while,'I'ended'up'leR'swiping'anyone'with'a'dolphin'kiss'as'the'rst'
picture.'Yeah,'see,'I'didnt'even'bother'looking'at'the'other'pictures'there,'
because'there'are'too'many'people'who'actually'show'you'what'they'look'like'
straight'o'the'bat.'Time,'my'friend,'is'of'the'essence.
(This'system'was'later'superceded'by'The'Right'Way(tm)gsystem'described'
shortly.)
Learning'from'this'is'that'it'is'a'good'idea'to'have'a'good'picture'of'yourself'as'
your'primary'prole'picture'where'people'can'actually'see'what'you'look'like.'
This,'in'itself,'will'be'polarizing;'not'everybody'is'going'to'like'what'you'look'
like.'This'is'true'for'most'people'on'earth,'so'just'get'it'over'with.
Again,'were'talking'a'picture'that'decidedly'says'what'you'can'look'like,'
obviously'a'good'one'which'might'be'doctored'as'far'as'ethics'allow.
Everything'else'is'icing'on'the'cake,'and'one'simple'rule'applies'here:
If'you'have'a'single'good'picture'where'girls'can'see'what'you'look'like,'youre%
good%to%go.'If'you'decide'to'add'more'pictures,'make'sure'that'each'and'every'
one'of'them'adds'value'instead'of'subtrac2ng'it.
I'cant'count'the'number'of'2mes'Ive'gone'over'proles'on'Tinder'and'seen'a'
girl'have'a'nice'rst'picture.'Then'comes'a'decent'second'picture.'And'then,'on'
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the'third'shes'all'herpDaDderpDaDdoo'and'I'go'Oh,'honey.'You'shouldve'leR'it'
at'two'and'swipe'her'leR.
Dont'be'this'person.'If'youre'unsure'whether'a'picture'is'adding'or'
subtrac2ng,'split%test%it%or%leave%it%out.
I'had'150'matches'on'two'pictures'my'rst'two'weeks'on'Tinder.'One'of'them'
was'a'aXering'black'and'white'picture'with'a'shallow'depth'of'eld,'a'typical'
lucky'candid'shot.'The'second'was'an'illustrator'picture,'where'Id'drawn'
myself'into'an'Archer'scene.'Yeah,'see,'thats'really'only'one'picture,'it'seems'
most'people'dont'watch'the'TVgshow'Archer,'at'least'not'religiously.
If'you'understand'this'concept'that'a'picture'can'hurt'more'than'benet'you,'
and'you'really'only'need'one'really'good'picture,'move'on.
Also,'when'I'changed'to'my'current'calling'card,'it'ended'me'up'with'120%
matches%in%a%day.'Not'every'day,'but'in'one'single'day.'Now'I'have'1250'
matches'in'a'city'with'a'popula2on'of'approximately'600,000'people'(including'
surrounding'areas,'there'are'obviously'more,'but's2ll).
Check'in'the'appendix'for'a'full'rundown'on'how'to'take'good'pictures'for'
Tinder.
Also,'there'is'the'whole'idea'of'post'processing'your'pictures.'I'suggest'you'
watch'the'South'Park'episode'called'"The'Hobbit"'right'now,'because'it's'highly'
relevant,'very'funny'and'just'a'liXle'bit'sad.
Imagine'for'a'second'that'it'might'be'true'that'a'woman'will'have'sex'with'you'
regardless%of%your%looks.'Only,'when'she'needs'to'explain'to'her'girlfriends'why'
she'did'it,'it's'a'huge'help'if'you'have'a'really'good'Tinder'picture.'
"Oh,'he's'cute,"'they'll'coo,'and'she'll'be'o'the'hook.
This'is'oRen'more'important'than'you'actually'being'super'good'looking'in'real'
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life,'because'it's'not'their'only'aXrac2on'trigger.
Never'ever'underes2mate'the'importance'of'having'good'pictures.'Make'it'an'
ongoing'endeavor'to'get'beXer'pictures,'even'as'you'start'to'become'
successful.'It'will'help'you'out'more'than'you'can'imagine.'

Prole&text
Tinder'has'a'prole'text'limited'to'500'characters.'You're'advised'not'to'use'all'
of'them.
Actually,'it's'a'good'idea'to'keep'it'short'and'sweet.'Wri2ng'too'much'has'a'
tendency'to'come'o'as'"try'hard"'and'"not'geQng'it".'You'll'see'hot'chicks'not'
having'a'single'character'in'their'prole.'If'you'must'have'a'prole,'keep'it'
minimal.
Whatever'you'do,'resist'the'urge'to'brag'about'anything.'No'men2oning'your'
super'hot'car,'that'you'live'in'the'rich'part'of'town,'that'you'make'a'lot'of'
money'or'that'your'father'is'a'famous'scuba'diver.'If'this'stu'is'ever'going'to'
maXer'to'anyone,'it'will'be'in'your'actual'interac2on.'Even'(thinking'of)'
men2oning'this'stu'in'your'Tinder'prole'is'absolutely'hopeless,'and'should'
be'avoided'at'all'cost.
If'anything,'use'your'prole'text'to'communicate'key'aXributes'that'might'or'
might'not'be'of'importance'to'girls.
Height'is'one'of'these'key'aXributes'which'Tinder'doesn't'include.'If'you'feel'
your'height'is'benecial,'include'it.'It'will'keep'a'lot'of'women'from'guessing,'
and'this'is'an'issue'for'many'of'them.'Just'write'it'down'as'factual'informa2on.'
I'have'it'in'my'rela2vely'successful'prole'I'm'currently'running,'I'just'write'it'
down'as'188%cm'or'6'2".'There'is'no'need'to'write'any'more,'just'get'the'fact'
down.
When'in'doubt'whether'to'write'an'elaborate'or'casual'prole,'err'on'the'side'
of'casual.
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Similarly,'when'considering'whether'to'be'profound'vs'humorous,'go'for'light'
and'humorous.'On'Tinder'you'do'not'communicate'your'personality'through'
your'prole'text.
If'you'manage'to'nail'a'prole'with'a'single'qualifying'statement,'if'can'be'
helpful.'Things'like'"Control'freaks'need'not'swipe'right"'and'"If'you're'
rela2vely'well'kept,'give'it'your'best'shot"'actually'work'to'trigger'a'need'to'
prove'themselves'in'some'women.'Try'to'nd'a'qualica2on'statement'that'
isn't'too'polarizing,'because'you'll'lose'more'than'you'gain.
The'same'way'your'pictures'can'be'split'tested,'qualica2on'statements'and'
the'full'prole'text'can'be'split'tested'to'nd'the'one'with'the'higher'yield.
My'current'prole'text'just'reads:'
6'2".'Adventaurus.
I'm'a'Taurus'and'I'made'a'play'on'words'that'I'like'adventures.'This'will'give'
some'girls'the'hook'they'need'to'take'the'step'and'actually'ini2ate'
conversa2on.'This'kind'of'hook'can'be'good'to'help'make%it%easy'for'them.

Likes
Tinder'will'show'you'which'Facebook'"Likes"'you'share.'If'you'like'the'band'
Asia'and'she'does'too,'it'will'be'displayed'to'both'of'you'when'you'do'your'
matching.'This'is'denitely'a'secondary'thing,'but'it'might'help'2p'the'scales'in'
your'favor.
As'the'other'person'can'only'see'shared'likes,'you'can'preXy'much'add'as'
many'likes'as'you'see't'without'risking'looking'like'an'idiot.'If'you'add'the'
band'Slayer'and'Jus2n'Bieber'as'likes,'you'will'polarize'with'benets'with'both'
the'rocker'girl'and'the'teeny'bopper.
Taste'in'music'is'not'incredibly'important'in'the'large'scale'of'things,'but'there'
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are'other'areas'that'might'help'create'a'more'solid'bond;'that'of'familiarity.'If'
you'live'in'a'city,'no'doubt'there'are'clubs'and'bars'people'frequent.'These'
oRen'have'Facebook'pages'you'can'like.
If'you'and'her'like'the'same'club,'this'might'give'you'a'certain'prequalica2on'
with'her.'You'might'all'of'a'sudden'be'a'guy'she's'laid'eyes'on'a'drunken'
Saturday,'but'been'too'shy'to'talk'to.'Not'that'you've'necessarily'ever'been'to'
the'club'in'real'life.'I'personally'like'to'troll'(pun'intended)'the'local'bar'and'
club'scenes,'and'I'no2ced'this'eect'preXy'early;'women'love'liking'their'
favorite'places.'So'I'went'through'my'Facebook'prole'and'made'sure'I'd'
added'all'the'clubs'I'frequent'and'like.'A'couple'of'days'later,'I'matched'with'an'
absolutely'smoking'hot'20'year'old,'and'we'have'liked'7'of'the'same'places.
So'what's'keeping'you'from'just'going'through'and'adding'preXy'much'all'the'
bars'and'clubs'in'your'area?'Nothing,'really.'It's'just'a'liXle'work,'that's'all.'You'
will'not'polarize'nega2vely'doing'so,'but'you'will'polarize'posi2vely.'I'do'
recommend'you'having'a'2ny'bit'of'knowledge'about'the'places'you'add,'
however,'as'it'might'easily'come'up'in'conversa2on,'and'it'just'seems'a'liXle'
sad'to'like'a'bar'you've'never'even'been'to.
The'concept'of'liking'to'match'extends,'obviously,'to'other'things,'but'it'seems'
like'liking'actual'physical'places'creates'a'realness'to'the'similari2es.'It's'as'if'
you'take'a'step'from'the'virtual'into'the'real'world'by'indica2ng'that'you'
occupy'the'same'physical'space'at'2mes.
Here'are'some'other''categories'you'might'go'through'and'like:

Galleries
Cinemas
Cafs'and'coeeshops
Restaurants
Shopping'malls
The'gym'you'go'to
Grocery'stores,'even'these'oRen'have'their'own'Facebook'pages'
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on'a'per'branch'level'these'days

Concert'venues
Basically'anything'that'is'a'real'place'will'help'you'out'a'liXle'here,'and'make'
you'less'threatening'while'at'the'same'2me'keeping'you'mysterious.
It'is'obviously'also'possible'to'add'heaps'of'things'like'TVgseries,'musical'ar2sts,'
books,'etc,'but'these'seem'to'connect'at'a'dierent'level,'and'seem'to'not'give'
the'same'yield'per'match.

Mutual&friends
A'good'reason'for'star2ng'a'fresh'Facebook'prole'for'doing'your'Tinder'work'
is'that'you'won't'have'any'mutual'friends'with'your'poten2al'matches.'While'it'
might'at'rst'glance'seem'benecial'to'have'a'bunch'of'mutual'friends,'
chances'are'it's'not.
On'the'upside'you'll'look'like'a'social'being,'and'sharing'friends'might'give'her'
the'feeling'that'she'already'knows'you'and'that'you're'safe.'However,'it'also'
restricts'her'ac2ons.'What'if'she'ends'up'going'to'bed'with'you'and'your'
mutual'friends'nd'out?'Mutual'friends'make'it'easier'for'her'to'be'found'out'
and'then'subsequently'be'slut'shamed.
Mutual'friends'also'make'you'easier'to'stalk'on'Facebook,'and'this'in'turn'
makes'it'harder'for'you'to'control'what'she'knows'about'you.'So'seriously'
consider'crea2ng'a'fresh'prole'for'doing'Tinder,'as'this'is'a'poten2al'deal'
breaker'for'many'women.

Hooks
While'short'and'sweet'is'good'for'your'prole'text'and'showing'o'you'is'most'
important'in'your'pictures,'keep'hooks'in'mind.'Hooks'are'small'2dbits'of'
informa2on'that'pique'her'interest'and'give'her'an'excuse'to'like'you'and'
contact'you.'You'can'scaXer'these'throughout,'but'youll'do'so'beXer'if'you'do'
it'by%design'instead'of'by'accident.

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Consider'for'a'moment'who'you'are'and'try'to'incorporate'some'of'your'story'
into'your'prole.'You'dont'have'to'spell'it'out,'as'small'clues'can'be'more'
eec2ve'and'make'people'more'curious.
It'is'worth'puQng'explicit'again,'tho,'regarding'hooks:

ShiR'your'hooks'from'the'prole'text'to'the'pictures.'With'this'number'
of'proles'on'Tinder,'you'just'cant'expect'people'to'actually'read'prole'
texts'before'deciding.
Dont'let'the'hooks'be'the'pictures,'just'let'them'support'them.'The'
main'focus'of'the'pictures'should'be'you.'This'means,'as'an'example,'
that'it'is'beXer'of'a'picture'clearly'showing'you'on'waterskis'just'cruising'
than'you'actually'doing'a'backip'on'waterskis'where'youre'hard'to'
make'out.

Dynamics&of&Tinder&user&mass
ARer'a'couple'of'days'of'heavy,'nonstop'Tindering,'most'people'will'actually'
have'gone'through'the'user'mass'currently'registered'within'their'search'
parameters.'This'means'that'every'day'from'that'moment,'they'will'primarily'
be'playing'"catch'up"'with'newcomers'in'their'area.
These'newcomers'will'then'get'a'lot'of'aXen2on'by'the'user'mass'that'has'
gone'through'all'the'other'proles.
It'is'not'100%'certain'and'might'be'subject'to'change,'but'Tinder'seems'to'
stack'people'who'have'already'liked'you'in'the'front'of'the'user'queue'for'you.'
This'means'that'every'2me'you'start'o'fresh'with'a'new'prole,'you'll'be'one'
of'maybe'10g15'people'that's'exposed'to'a'huge'mass'of'users,'and'the'users'
who'like'you'will'be'stacked'in'the'beginning'of'your'queue.'This'makes'a'huge'
dierence'compared'to'being'one'of'10,000'users;'people'are'more'likely'to'
like'you,'especially'if'it's'been'a'while'since'they'got'a'match.
In'other'words,'a'fresh'account'is'oRen'a'match'bonanza.'This'also'oRen'comes'
into'play'when'you're'visi2ng'new'ci2es;'all'of'a'sudden'you'have'thousands'of'
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eyes'on'you.
This'is'another'reason'to'experiment'with'dierent'looks'and'brands'and'
recycle'your'account.
If'you'are'one'of'the'early'adopters'in'your'area,'the'eect'might'be'dierent.'
As'more'people'register'for'the'service,'you'll'get'a'slow'trickle'of'new'matches'
over'2me.
Because'Tinder'seems'to'stack'people'who'have'liked'someone'early'in'their'
queue,'it'is'a'benet'to'check'your'Tinder'oRen'for'new'proles,'as'you'll'end'
up'earlier'in'the'other'person's'queue.'People'who'are'new'to'Tinder'will'be'
unaware'of'the'insane'amounts'of'proles'on'the'service,'and'will'get'pickier'
as'they'siR'through'hordes'of'people.'GeQng'in'the'queue'early'is'only'going'
to'help'you.
At'2mes,'youll'see'the'user'mass'recycled.'While'it'is'impossible'to'know'for'
sure'how'the'Tinder'backend'decides'who'to'expose'you'to'(and'frankly'if'you'
did'know,'this'would'always'be'subject'to'change)'these'recycles'will'
some2mes'allow'you'to'get'an'onslaught'of'matches,'as'it'seems'youll'be'
shown'a'lot'of'proles'that'have'swiped'you'to'the'right'early.
This'also'raises'another'point;'swipe'right'early.'The'earlier'you'swipe'someone'
to'the'right,'the'sooner'you'will'be'entered'into'their'match'queue.'
Newcomers'to'the'service'will'then'see'you'as'one'of'the'rst'100'instead'of'
one'of'the'rst'100,000.'This'makes'it'easier'to'stand'out.

Phone&clients
The'main'Tinder'applica2on'is'designed'to'run'on'your'phone'and'tablet.
Tinder'comes'with'ocial'clients'for'iPhone'and'Android.'Get'the'clients'from'
where'you'usually'get'your'apps.
An'ocial'client'for'Windows'Phone'is'apparently'in'the'works,'but'there'are'
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third'party'Tinder'clients'available'for'purchase'in'the'Windows'Store.
There'are'some'third'party'Tinder'clients'out'there,'but'at'the'current'2me'of'
wri2ng'they'dont'really'provide'you'with'any'advantage'over'the'ocial'
clients.
The'basic'opera2on'of'Tinder'is'very'simple.
First,'go'to'your'seNngs.'Make'sure'the'parameters'match'your'preferences.'I'
personally'run'with'full'age'range'and'area'range.'The'simple'reason'for'this'is'
that'it'will'give'you'more'matches.'This'is'volume,'as'we'talked'about'before.'
This'allows'you'to'get'more'experience'more'quickly,'even'if'the'matches'
aren't'necessarily'all'equally'interes2ng.
If'you'dont'like'what'you'see,'swipe'leR'or'press'the'large'X.
If'you'like'what'you'see,'swipe'right'or'press'the'large'heart'symbol.
If'you'accidentally'swipe'right'and'match'with'someone'you'dont'care'for,'you'
can'block'the'user.'This'will'basically'just'remove'them'from'your'list,'remove'
you'from'their'list'and'also'remove'any'conversa2on'you'might'have'had.'
Blocking'users'on'Tinder'seems'to'be'an'opera2on'that'isnt'as'harsh'as'
blocking'on'other'services,'so'apply'liberally.
Because'it'is'so'easy'to'change'your'mind'aRer'youve'matched'with'someone,'
but'a'lot'harder'to'undo'a'leR'swipe,'its'in'your'interest'to'err'to'the'right,'
meaning'its'beXer'to'like'someone'you'dont'really'care'for'than'to'throw'a'
hoQe'into'leR'side'oblivion.
When'youve'been'on'Tinder'for'a'while,'you'might'nd'that'scouring'through'
proles'deciding'who'to'push'leR'and'who'to'push'right'is'just'too'much'work.'
Theres'nothing'really'stopping'you'from'doing'things%The%Right%Way(tm)%(not'
really'a'trademark),'and'just'quickly'pushing'everyone'to'the'right.'Youll's2ll'
have'a'separate'system'to'capture'who'your'real'targets'are'anyway,'and'if'
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people'get'the'wrong'idea,'you'can'always'just'block'them.'In'the'long'run,'
youll'probably'end'up'here,'as'it'just'saves'you'a'lot'of'2me;'instead'of'having'
to'decide'on'all'proles'whether'youre'interested,'you'just'decide'on'the'ones'
that'are'actually'interested'in'you.'This'might'come'as'a'slap'in'the'face,'but'
the'laXer'is'a'subset'of'the'former.
Sure,'you'll'match'with'old'women'and'even'guys,'but'it'is'a'beXer'way'to'
spend'your'2me'to'only'consider'the'ones'that'actually'like'you'back'than'
overinves2ng'in'someone'who's'not'going'to'like'you'back'anyway.
This'is'what'I'currently'do.
ARer'a'while'it'becomes'a'hassle'to'count'how&many&matches&you&have.'Fret'
not,'just'click'the'small'search'icon'at'the'top'of'your'contact'list'and'it'will'tell'
you'how'many'matches'you'currently'have;'"Search'N'matches."'where'N'is'
how'many'matches'you'have.
Tinder'also'has'the'ability'to'create'and'assign'matches'to'dierent'lists.'You'
might'nd'these'useful,'but'it'all'depends'on'your'workow.'For'informa2on'
on'how'I'personally'use'these'see'the'sec2on'on'Tinder'lists.

BlueStacks
You'll'probably'want'to'have'Tinder'on'your'cellphone,'but'it's'not'a'strict'
requirement.'You'can'also'run'Tinder'on'an'Android'applica2on'runner'for'your'
desktop.'One'of'these'is'BlueStacks'available'at'hXp://www.bluestacks.com.
There'are'some'benets'to'running'the'client'on'BlueStacks'compared'to'on'
the'cellphone.'Let's'look'at'these.'I'would'personally'say'that'everyone'whos'
serious'about'working'Tinder'should'get'an'installa2on'of'BlueStacks'or'similar.'
It'makes'a'huge'dierence.
When'running'Tinder'on'BlueStacks,'you'can'type'using'the'keyboard'on'your'
computer.'This'is'obviously'faster,'and'once'you'get'started,'you'll'see'that'
actually'being'able'to'communicate'with'speed'is'incredibly'important'for'your'
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morale,'as'youll'be'dealing'with'large'volumes.
So,'no'maXer'if'you'have'a'na2ve'Tinder'client'on'your'phone,'set'up'
BlueStacks'or'a'similar'applica2on'player'as'soon'as'possible.'Moving'from'one'
client'to'the'next'is'rela2vely'seamless;'you'might'want'to'occasionally'restart'
the'respec2ve'clients,'but'moving'from'one'to'the'other'won't'be'no2ceable'to'
the'person'you'are'communica2ng'with.
Running'Tinder'on'BlueStacks'requires'you'to'"spoof",'a'fancy'word'to'"fake",'
your'loca2on.'This'is'mainly'because'a'desktop'computer'seldom'comes'with'a'
GPS'unit'of'its'own.'The'good'news'is'that'this'is'easily'achieved'by'installing'
"Fake'GPS'loca2on"'from'the'app'store.

This'has'a'huge'upside,'however,'because'now'you're'preXy'much'free'to'
choose'your'own'loca2on,'just'type'in'an'address'and'select'"Set'loca2on".'
Most'of'the'2me'you'll'want'this'loca2on'to'match'where'you'are'currently'at,'
but'there'are'denitely'2mes'when'it's'benecial'to'appear'to'be'elsewhere.

Tes9ng&images&and&approaches
Let's'say'you'live'in'a'city'with'500,000'inhabitants.'Depending'on'the'current'
adop2on'of'Tinder'in'this'city,'you'might'have'1,000'females'that'match'your'
parameters.'These'numbers'are,'obviously,'c2onal,'but'depending'on'where'
you'are'in'the'world'(and'when),'these'numbers'might'not'be'too'far'o.
Now,'given'only'1,000'females,'why'would'you'want'to'test'your'prole'
pictures'on'viable'targets?
The'short'answer'is:'You'don't.
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Enter'loca2on'spoong.'Pick'a'posi2on'downtown'of'a'similar'city'to'the'one'
you're'currently'working'and'test'your'images'and'approaches'there'rst.'You'
will'have'more'room'to'fail'without'burning'real'prospects,'and'without'having'
to'recycle'your'account.
In'prac2ce,'you'do'this'by'seQng'up'an'account'that'you'want'to'see'how'well'
fares.'Perhaps'one'with'three'pictures,'a'short'and'crea2ve'prole'text.'You'
then'set'the'loca2on'that'matches'the'city'you'want'to'work.'In'other'words,'if'
you'are'in'New'York,'you'pick'another'American'city'with'the'same'prole,'not'
some'place'in'India.
You'then'recycle'your'account'and'start'fresh.'Setup'your'search'parameters,'
and'in'this'case'you'can'be'more'picky'than'you'usually'are.'If'you'prefer'girls'
between'18g25,'enter'that.'In'real'life,'youd'probably'want'to'extend'that'a'
liXle,'but'for'this'test'being'specic'is'beXer.
You'then're'up'Tinder'the'normal'way,'and'check'your'stream.'Make'leR'
swipes'un2l'you'are'sure'that'you'are'indeed'located'in'this'new'city.'It'
some2mes'takes'Tinder'some'2me'to'pick'this'up,'so'watch'carefully'the'
distance'meter,'and'also'read'prole'texts'if'youre'not'sure.
Once'youre'certain'that'youre'in'the'desired'city,'wait'for'a'while.'A'period'of'
a'couple'of'hours'is'usually'enough.'The'reason'for'this'wait'is'explained'in'a'
common'sec2on'about'user'mass,'but'to'put'it'short:'Wai2ng'for'a'while'will'
allow'people'who'have'already'seen'all'the'contacts'in'the'neighborhood'to'
check'out'your'prole.
Then'you'go'on'to'do'a'nongdiscrimina2ng'right'swipe'for'a'set'number'of'
proles.'A'number'like'100'or'250'is'ne.'Its'not'important'that'its'a'super'
precise'amount,'but'the'closer'the'beXer.
ARer'having'done'this'ini2al'swipe,'you'stop'swiping,'and'you'let'this'account'
simmer'a'couple'of'days.'When'you'log'back'onto'it,'you'should'be'able'to'go'
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into'your'messaging'pane'and'click'the'search'buXon.'This'will'enclose'how'
many'contacts'you'have.
Lets'say'you'got'40'contacts'from'a'250'person'right'swipe.'This'gives'you'an'
ini2al'yield'of'16%'(dividing'40'by'250).'PreXy'good!'Or'is'it?'The'only'way'to'
know'is'to'try'the'procedure'again'with'dierent'data.
It'might'sound'like'a'lot'of'work,'but'consider'this.'Once'you'start'preying'on'
your'own'citys'pool'of'women,'you'want'to'have'as'high'a'yield'as'possible.'
Loca2on'spoong'and'split'tes2ng'this'might'take'you'a'week'or'so,'not'ac2ve'
2me,'but'just'wai2ng'2me.
This'is'also'a'good'reason'to'have'mul2ple'Facebook'and'Tinder'accounts;'you'
can'split'test'while'having'an'opera2onal'local'account'at'the'same'2me.
It's'also'a'good'way'to'do'prepara2on.'If'you'need'to'visit'a'neighboring'city'for'
fun'or'business,'geQng'laid'can'be'a'nice'bonus.'Just'visit'the'city'virtually'with'
loca2on'spoong'and'set'up'your'matches'ahead'of'2me.
Your'contacts'will'be'able'to'see'you'moving'around'with'your'distance'
instantly'changing'with'hundreds'of'kilometers,'but'this'is'easy'to'explain'away'
if'you'care'to.'"I'm'an'interna2onal'playboy",'"I'm'using'an'unsanc2oned'third'
party'client",'"I'am'number'four",'etc.'So'start'visi2ng'new'ci2es'with'ladies'
just'wai2ng'to'meet'up'with'you'on'the'very'same'day.

Auto&clicker
If'you'adopt'The'Right'Way(tm)'of'doing'things,'meaning'that'you'slam'
everything'to'the'right'and'sort'aRer'matching,'why'would'you'do'all'the'
clicking'yourself?'It'almost'seems'like'something'a'machine'could'do.
Enter'the'auto%clicker,'an'app'that'simulates'mouse'clicks'on'your'computer.'
This'will'basically'allow'you'to'set'the'machine'up'to'right'click'all'through'the'
night'while'you'are'sleeping.'You'no'longer'need'to'work'be'be'caught'up'with'
proles.'
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iGNITE

For'Mac'OS'X,'you'can'nd'a'decent'and'free'auto'clicker'here:'hXp://
www.beecubu.com/en/desktopgapps/#iMouseTrick
For'Windows,'you'can'nd'one'here:'hXp://www.murgee.com/autogclicker/
Both'are'by'the'same'developer'and'have'approximately'the'same'feature'set.'
You'can'assign'a'hotkey'to'start'and'stop'auto'clicking'and'you'can'decide'on'a'
click'interval.'I'found'that'200ms'works'perfectly'on'my'MacBook.
As'this'works'on'your'desktop'it'needs'to'work'with'BlueStacks'or'a'similar'
desktop'based'applica2on'runner.
Using'auto'clicker'with'a'fresh'account,'with'only'My'calling'card'and'My'
prole'text,'I'auto'clicked'through'a'loca2on'in'New'York'City'upper'west'side.'
In'8'hours'I'had'1,400'matches.'In'three'days,'I'had'a'whopping'2,500'matches.
If'youve'visi2ng'a'new'major'city,'make'sure'you'bring'a'laptop'with'
BlueStacks'and'auto'clicker,'because'it'will'preXy'much'to'all'the'work'for'you.

Polariza9on
When'crea2ng'a'Tinder'prole,'you'might'want'to'polarize.'Polariza2on'means'
that'you'make'yourself'more'aXrac2ve'to'some'people'while'at'the'same'2me'
you'make'yourself'less'aXrac2ve'to'others.
Polariza2on'is'something'dierent'that'improving'yourself'for'the'majority'of'
women'out'there.'General'improvement'is'something'you'should'obviously'do'
without'ques2oning'it.'Thats'also'what'weve'done'looking'at'the'prole'so'
far;'take'some'good'pictures,'stop'making'the'common'mistakes,'test'and'test'
again'the'quality'of'your'prole.'This'is'improving.
A'blunt'example'of'polariza2on'would'be'to'write'in'your'prole'text'I'want'to'
murder'Jus2n'Bieber'and'having'a'primary'prole'picture'where'you'piss'on'a'
cardboard'cutout'of'Mr.'Bieber'while'receiving'a'high'5'from'your'mate,'who'
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iGNITE

happens'to'be'stealing'a'glance'of'your'privates.
While'this'will'be'insanely'amusing'to'some'girls,'and'surely'make'them'right'
swipe'you,'as'many'or'more'will'be'tremendously'put'o'by'this'display'of''
awesomeness.
This'is'polariza2on.
To'fully'understand'what'polariza2on'is,'lets'look'at'what'its'not.'
If'you'work'in'Silicon'Valley'and'all'your'pictures'are'of'you'in'a'bland'company'
branded'pologshirt'and'white'khakis,'youre'not'polarizing,'youre'playing'it'
safe.'And'youre'doing'badly.'The'majority'of'women'nd'this'aQre'dreadful.'A'
2ny'amount'of'women'might'nd'this'look,'if'not'alluring,'somewhat'sexy,'
because'it'indicates'Valley'money.'But'these'are'outliers,'and'as'such'they'
cannot'jus2fy'this'being'polariza2on.'Its'just'bad.
If'you'want'to'improve'on'this,'you'set'yourself'up'with'a'more'interes2ng'set'
of'business'casual'clothes.'You'get'a'new'haircut,'beXer'Qng'clothes,'perhaps'
some'clothing'with'some'edge.'This'is'improving.'This'is'not'polariza1on.'
If'you'work'in'NYC'and'you'have'some'pictures'of'yourself'wearing'shirts,'
Qng'vests,'sports'coats'and'suits,'you'will'be'polarizing'for'certain'segments.'
For'most'segments,'you'just'improved'everything.'You'will'be'polarizing'in'
some'age'groups,'because'young'women'will'nd'you'too'much'of'a'father'
gure.'Some'girls'are'looking'for'that,'others'are'not.'Some'people'might'label'
you'as'snobbish'because'you'dress'expensively;'out'of'their'league.'This'is'
polariza2on'again,'but'only'for'some'segments,'and'the'more'high'value'
women'on'there'will'appreciate'a'stylish'man.'This'is'a'case'of'improving'the'
baseline'while'adding'some'polariza2on.
If,'however,'you'live'in'the'same'area,'and'show'up'with'four'pictures'of'
yourself'wearing'a'kickass'rocker'or'emo'uniform,'youre'denitely'polarizing.'
Girls'are'generally'into'this'look'for'a'number'of'reasons.'Some'might'not'be,'
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but'if'were'looking'at'numbers'like'50/50,'were'star2ng'to'do'some'serious'
polariza2on.
Id'recommend'against'having'four'dierent'pictures'that'polarize'in'dierent'
direc2ons.'Pick'a'direc2on'and's2ck'to'it.'Being'able'to'go'in'all'direc2ons'can'
be'a'huge'benet'socially,'but'dont'put'it'all'into'a'single'prole.'
The'key'message'is'to'show'some'polarity'but'not'in'a'bunch'of'dierent'
direc2ons'at'the'same'2me.
Lets'say'you'have'a'kickass'sleeve'taXoo.'Some'women'love'this,'and'this'is'
actually'a'huge'aXrac2on'trigger'with'many.'But'enough'women'dont'care'for'
this'to'the'degree'that'it'can'be'said'to'be'polarizing.'So'you'can'make'one'
recycled'run'on'Tinder'where'the'taXoo'is'hidden'behind'layers'of'good'
looking'but'conserva2ve'clothing,'and'one'where'the'taXoo'is'prominently'
displayed,'pushing'more'of'a'rocker'brand.
Obviously,'you'can'do'one'where'you'do'both,'and'youll'nd'a'lot'of'
intersec2ons'like'these'are'incredibly'sexy.'Its'just'that'some'of'them'are'
denitely'not.'
Hopefully,'this'will'be'helpful'in'you'crea2ng'a'coherent'and'focused'prole'
which'increases'aXrac2on'in'the'broad'sense'(general'improvement)'and'
narrowly'(polariza2on).

53

Snapchat
There'are'two'ways'to'capitalize'greatly'from'Snapchat.'Volume'is'the'rst;'you'
need'to'rack'up'huge'volumes.'The'other'is'to'branch'to'it'from'other'media,'
such'as'Tinder'or'even'Facebook.
The'simplest'way'of'stacking'up'large'numbers'is'to'take'notes'of'every'and'all'
Snapchat'addresses'you'encounter.'This'is'especially'eec2ve'if'you'nd'
Snapchat'addresses'on'Tinder,'because'you'know'that'the'people'will'be'preXy'
close'to'you.
When'working'on'Tinder,'you'll'see'that'people'post'their'Snapchat'address'in'
their'prole'text.'In'other'words,'this'is'oRen'available'to'you'prior'to'actually'
making'any'match'on'Tinder.
As'the'likelihood'of'you'being'exposed'to'someone'you've'recently'like'
increases,'it'is'a'good'idea'to'mine'Snapchat'addresses'and'then'bulk'add'
them.'This'basically'just'means'that'instead'of'just'smashing'her'address'
straight'into'your'Snapchat'client,'you'make'a'note'of'it'into'Evernote.
I'll'be'referring'to'your'contact'management'system'as'"Evernote"'from'now'
on,'even'if'you've'decided'on'something'else.
There'are'plenty'of'benets'from'doing'this:

Your'Tinder'funnel'will'become'1ght.'The'beXer'you'can'control'
your'communica2on'on'Tinder,'the'higher'your'yield'will'be.'If'you'
simultaneously'and'uninten2onally'communicate'with'someone'on'Tinder'
directly'and'on'Snapchat'in'a'broadcast'manner,'your'communica2on'will'lose'
focus.'Avoid'this'at'all'costs.

If'she'is'exposed'to'your'prole'and'recognize'you'from'your'
Tinder'prole'picture'and'then'start'receiving'snaps'from'you,'it'seems'a'liXle'
try'hard.'Crea2ng'a'2me'buer'minimizes'this'risk.

You'have'the'op2on'of'adding'more'informa2on'about'the'
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contact;'distance'from'you,'rst'name,'age,'etc.'This'is'just'good'to'know.
Communica2ng'who'you'are'on'Snapchat'is'an'ongoing'process.'You'll'nd'that'
some'people'respond'a'lot'more'favorably'on'Snapchat'than'on'Tinder.'
Learning'to'take'a'good'sele'is'of'huge'importance'here,'as'there'will'be'many'
of'them.
Snapchat'operates'with'three'separate'and'dis2nctly'dierent'ways'of'
communica2on.
OneLonLone&communica9on&is'messaging'where'the'message'is'obviously'
intended'for'just'one'person.'This'is'the'similar'of'synchronized,'lockgstep'
messaging'found'in'other'media.'Typically'the'message'will'contain'a'prompt'
for'a'response'or'a'response'to'a'previous'message.'It'will'also'oRen'have'text'
that'has'some'signicance'in'a'con2nuous'discussion.'It'can'be'helpful'to'call'
someone'out'by'name,'so'they'know'that'the'message'is'for'them'specically.
A'group&message'is'technically'the'same'as'onegongone'communica2on;'there'
is'a'picture'that'is'sent'out'to'mul2ple'recipients.'It'is'just'harder'to'be'
contextually'relevant'to'many'people'at'the'same'2me.'These'kinds'of'
messages'can'oRen'be'used'to'gauge'interest'in'your'pool'of'targets;'some'will'
respond,'some'will'not.
Note'that'people'will'respond'at'dierent'2mes.'The'same'way'you'don't'
always'feel'like'ea2ng'steak,'drinking'beer'and'watching'Archer,'girls'don't'
always'want'to'get'with'a'hunk'like'you.'So'keep'sending'these'asynchronous'
pings'un2l'you're'absolutely'sure'you're'o'her'list'or'blocked,'and'then'you'
remove'her.'Unfortunately,'most'Snapchat'clients'have'abysmal'contact'
management'features,'so'you'need'to'do'some'work'here'manually.
Then'there's'My&Story,'which'basically'allows'everyone'on'your'contact'list'to'
see'your'pictures'for'a'period'of'24'hours.'Instead'of'disappearing'aRer'the'
designated'2me'period,'the'2me'period'now'indicates'how'long'a'picture'
should'be'visible'in'a'2med'and'innitely'viewable'slideshow.
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My'Story'is'a'simple'way'to'communicate'with'a'lot'of'people'at'the'same'
2me.'On'some'clients,'you'can'also'see'who's'checking'out'your'storyagain'a'
valuable'tool'to'gauge'interest'in'poten2al'targets.
There'are'dierent'"privacy"'seQngs'in'Snapchat.'Some'people'allow'snaps'
from'anybody,'some2mes'you'need'to'become'a'friend'rst.'I'don't'usually'
think'that'much'about'it'and'add'people'and'start'including'them'in'my'mass'
messaging'and'also'checking'on'who's'opening'"My'Story"'posts.
The'threshold'for'geQng'in'touch'with'someone'on'Snapchat'is'very'low.'Every'
once'in'a'while'you'll'nd'people'harping'about'who'you'are'and'where'you'
got'their'address.'These'people'are'usually'not'the'brightest'of'the'bunch,'as'
chances'are'you've'just'mined'their'address'from'their'public'prole.'There'is'
no'real'reason'to'ever'fully'close'this'loop.
There'are'a'number'of'clients'available'for'Snapchat.'Most'of'these'are'for'
phones'and'tablets,'but'they'will'also'run'on'for'instance'BlueStacks.'For'your'
daygtogday'work,'I'recommend's2cking'with'the'ocial'clients'for'IOS'and'
Android'and'6snap'for'Windows'Phone.

Save&hacks
As'we'men2oned'before,'the'idea'that'the'picture'totally'disappears'is'an'
illusion.'Technically,'as'long'as'something'goes'over'the'wire'and'is'decrypted'
into'memory,'it'can'be'stored'to'disk.
There'are'mul2ple'clients'for'Android'which'also'run'on'BlueStacks'that'allow'
you'to'store'pictures,'either'by'dropping'them'to'local'storage'or'email,'or'to'
services'like'OneDrive'or'Dropbox.
If'you're'expec2ng'to'get'something'interes1ng'(wink'wink,'nudge'nudge),'it's'
recommended'that'you'check'out'these'products.'Note'that'once'you'open'a'
snap'in'ocial'clients,'you'won't'be'able'to'open'them'in'these'pirate'clients'
later,'and'the'snap'might'be'lost'forever.
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Using&old&pictures
Some'clients'allow'you'to'add'pictures'from'the'photo'library'on'your'phone.'
This'might'seem'like'an'unnecessary'feature,'but'there'are'many'2mes'it's'very'
handy.'If'you'look'par2cularly'good'one'day,'store'your'picture'for'future'use'
with'new'contacts.'If'you've'managed'to'jerk'up'a'glorious'erec2on,'store'the'
picture'and'use'it'later;'it's'hard'work.

GeVng&nudes
Many'people'use'Snapchat'to'get'nudes,'amateur'pornography.'You'might'too'
if'you're'inclined'to'do'so.'It'is'good'to'be'aware'of'the'sender's'age,'for'
obvious'reasons,'as'you'(and'she)'might'be'breaking'the'law.
You'll'nd'that'because'of'Snapchat's'promise'of'the'pictures'to'vanish,'the'
threshold'for'sending'nudes'is'preXy'low,'and'if'this'is'your'cup'of'tea,'go'nuts.'
The'standard'techniques'for'momentum,'extension'and'frac2ona2on'covered'
later'will'get'you'going.

Sending&nudes
Keep'in'mind'when'sending'nudes,'tho,'that'the'pictures'can'be'stored'and'
posted'online.'If'this'bothers'you,'don't'do'it.'It'doesn't'really'bother'me.
Also,'a'lot'of'women'don't'really'like'the'dicks'of'strangers'ooding'their'
screens,'so'in'some'cases'it's'a'good'idea'to'actually'build'up'to'this'gradually'
and'have'her'go'rst.
A'lot'of'women'will'also'claim'not'to'like'dick'pictures'when'in'fact'they'do.'
Just'keep'in'mind'that'this'is'an'area'where'it's'good'to'do'some'actual'
communica2on.

57

Concepts
Here'is'a'list'of'the'concepts'used'in'this'book.'Again,'if'they'are'unclear'on'rst'
read'through,'check'out'the'examples'and'return'at'a'later'point'in'2me.'Some'
examples'will'be'interspersed'with'the'descrip2on'of'the'concepts'themselves,'
but'as'the'concepts'oRen'2e'into'each'other,'it's'some2mes'not'a'good'idea'to'
isolate'the'examples.'This'makes'them'closer'to'what'you'd'see'in'the'real'
world.
The'list'of'concepts'isn't'really'complete,'as'such.'ORen2mes'you'll'nd'that'a'
concept'is'overlapping'with'another,'some2mes'you'll'nd'that'a'concept'is'
known'under'another'name.'Reading'these'concepts,'however,'and'looking'at'
the'examples'should'be'more'than'enough'to'give'you'a'basic'understanding'
on'how'to'operate'the'most'common'power'tools.
If'you'want'to'skip'reading'about'the'concepts'and'go'straight'to'the'usage'of'
them,'go'to'communica2on.
One'thing'is'hugely'important'to'understand.'You'don't'need'all'these'concepts'
all'the'2me.'Some'of'them'are'power'plays.''Also,'most'of'these'concepts'are'
universal.'They'aren't'bound'to'online'communica2on'at'all.'It'is,'however,'
easy'to'implement'them'in'an'online'scenario,'because'you'get'2me'to'think'
about'what'you'want'to'write.'But'it's'totally'reasonable'that'these'things'rub'
o'into'your'dates'and'your'everyday'life.'This'is'also'true'for'the'the'
communica2ongsec2on.

The&Meaning&of&Your&Communica9on&is&the&Response&You&
Get

There's'no'way'to'get'around'this'golden'fact'from'NLP.'It'sounds'complex'but'
it's'very'simple.
You&say&something.&People&hear&something&else.&
What'you're'saying'in'an'interac2on'has'the'meaning'of'the'response'a'person'
gives'you,'because'they'tend'to'pick'up'something'else'than'what'you'intend'
to'communicate.
ORen2mes'it'won't'even'be'clear'to'you'that'your'communica2on'is'unclear'
before'you've'been'talking'for'a'long'while,'and'nowhere'is'this'truer'than'in'
online'communica2on.
If'you'miscommunicate'a'lot'or'if'your'conversa2ons'go'stale,'take'a'good,'hard'
look'at'some'previous'conversa2ons'that'you've'had.
Check'to'see'that'these'things'are'clear'for'every'line'of'conversa2on:

Is'there'a'clear'inten2on'behind'what'you're'saying?
When'you'look'at'her'response,'is'it'likely'that'the'inten2on'has'been'
captured'by'your'communica2on?
If'not,'what'is'does'it'seem'to'convey?
How'can'you'make'your'communica2on'clearer?

This'even'applies'to'situa2ons'where'you'are'inten2onally'vague;'a'technique'
we'll'discuss'in'the'sec2on'about'open'loops.
We'll'present'a'framework'later,'so'you'will'probably'never'be'unclear'what'
your'inten2on'should'be.'But'you'need'to'train'yourself'to'see'whether'your'
communica2on'actually'conveys'your'inten2on.

Making&it&easy
There'are'2mes'when'she's'being'a'really,'really'good'girl,'and'she's'just'trying'
to'meet'you.'When'this'happens,'try'to'make'it'easy'for'her'to'get'what'she'
wants,'provided,'of'course,'that'it's'also'what'you'want.'This'means'that'you'
don't'apply'a'bunch'of'these'techniques'that'are'designed'to'create'tension,'
increase'her'investment'or'liberate'her.
This'2es'deeply'into'the'concept'of'over%gaming,'and'people'seem'to'oRen'
think'it's'more'important'to'show'o'"good'game"'than'to'actually'meet'up'
with'someone.'Not'having'the'ability'to'make'it'easy'for'girls'to'get'laid'is'not'
good'game,'it's'bad'game.'Bad'dog.
The'core'concept'here'is'to'make'it'easy,'for'both'of'you.'I'm'not'saying'that'
you'shouldn't'be'challenging,'but'everything'about'your'conversa2on'should'
be'as'easy'and'natural'to'progress'as'possible.'It'is'oRen'just'a'maXer'of'
helping'her'sort'out'logis2cs.'Iden2fy'early'that'you'are'team'players'and'just'
help'each'other'out.
When'you're'driving'an'interac2on'forward,'it's'a'good'exercise'to'imagine'a'
couple'of'poten2al'responses'she'can'make'to'your'input.'If'you'can't'think'of'
anything'yourself,'it's'probably'not'a'good'thing'to'say.'You're'making'it'hard.'In'
a'sense,'you'can'consider'a'good'conversa2on'a'liXle'like'a'good'game'of'
beach'volleyball'where'you're'both'on'the'same'team.'Get'the'ball'high'in'the'
air,'posi2on'it'for'your'team'mate.'Allow'them'to'make'the'smashes'every'once'
in'a'while.'Make'them'look'good.

Example:&Being&opened,&Katherine
Consider'my'calling'card'when'reading'the'conversa2on.
K:
T:
K:
T:
K:

Love the cartoon. And the

Love the love. Let's make
Tempting.
Good. It's spring, you're
Thank you for giving me a

Gibson!
love.
allowed to be.
decent excuse.

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iGNITE

T:
K:
T:
K:
T:
K:
T:
K:
T:

Let's just make it easy for ourselves.

Easy does it.
You're one mile away, perhaps we're neighbors.
Maybe. I'm at place A.
I'm at place B.
Pretty close.
Let's meet for a cup of tea and see if it holds water.
When and where?
decide time and place

This'example'is'funny,'because'it'shows'of'a'couple'of'concepts.'The'rst'is'that'
I'try'to'make'it'easy'for'her'to'meet'up.'She's'obviously'making'an'eort,'being'
friendly'and'outgoing,'so'there's'no'real'need'to'challenge'her.'I'do'a'quick'
sexual'seed,'add'a'liberator'and'then'work'on'logis2cs.
Funnily'enough,'we'both'do'some'meta'communica2on.'She'thanks'me'for'
giving'her'a'decent'excuse'and'I'steer'the'conversa2on'in'a'mutually'benecial'
direc2on'by'postula2ng'that'we'should'just'make'it'easy'for'ourselves.
My'helpful'excuse'makes'it'easy'for'her'to'progress'down'the'path'she'wants'
to'go.
When'at'all'possible,'make'it'easy'for'each'other.'It'might'not'seem'like'"good'
game",'but'recognizing'when'things'are'easy'and'just'capitalizing'on'it'is'an'art,'
and'it'will'serve'you'in'many'parts'of'life.

61

Strings&aZached
Youve'been'brought'up'on'an'illusion'that'womens'progression'model'when'it'
comes'to'sex'is'something'along'these'lines:
You'meet'Mr.'Right.'He'charms'you'and'you'snare'him'in'with'your'allure.'
ARer'a'while'he'professes'his'undying'love'for'you,'and'you'enter'some'sort'
of'pair'bond.'ARer'you'really'get'to'know'each'other,'you'consummate'the'
rela2onship.'By'boning.
Ill'be'the'rst'to'admit,'I'love'this'tale.'Many'a'hungover'day'Ive'snuggled'up'
to'my'comforter'with'a'bucket'of'Ben'&'Jerrys'by'my'side'to'watch'a'chick'
ick,'anything'to'play'a'sweet'serenade'on'my'heart'strings.'And'this'happens!'
In'real'life!'Every'once'in'a'while.'And'every'2me'it'does,'it'is'innitely'
beau2ful.'The'problem'is'that'it'happens'extremely'seldom'for'a'number'of'
reasons.
The'rst'one'is'that'the'mere'idea'of'being'right'for'each'other'is'just'a'
discussion'of'to'which'degree'you'are'really'compa2ble.'The'idea'of'one'
person'for'everyone'is'(obviously)'a'myth.
So'the'idea'of'aXaching'strings'to'a'rela2onship'before'you'consume'it'is'not'
necessarily'a'good'one.'This'could'be'one'of'those'things'that'seem'very'
counter'intui2ve'to'you'if'youve'subscribed'to'the'mainstream/"Hollywood"'
way'of'looking'at'rela2onships'up'un2l'now.'Women'also'subscribe'to'this'way'
of'progressing'a'rela2onship,'but'it'is'important'to'understand'that'it'is'a'
construc1on.'You'dont'need'to'follow'this'progression.
As'a'maXer'of'fact,'following'this'progression'as'a'modern'man'is'oRen'
extremely'unproduc2ve.'If'you'are'in'a'situa2on'where'there'is'mutual'
aXrac2on,'it'is'expensive'and'2me'consuming.'If'youre'in'a'situa2on'where'
there'is'not'mutual'aXrac2on,'you'stand'to'be'taken'advantage'of.
Worse,'if'youre'in'a'situa2on'where'there'is'mutual'sexual'aXrac2on,'going'
down'this'route'might'kill'this'aXrac2on'as'it'can'easily'come'of'as'needy.'Too'
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iGNITE

many'strings'aXached.'She'only'wanted'to'get'fucked'and'you'seem'to'want'to'
marry'her.'This'causes'a'lot'of'women'to'steer'clear'of'you.
An'ideal'progression'is'one'where'you'create'a'spark,'consummate,'decide'
whether'or'not'its'a'good'idea'to'move'it'forward'to'something'more'serious'
and'take'it'from'there.
If'you'nd'yourself'oRen'splurging'huge'amounts'of'cash'and'2me'on'women'
you'havent'slept'with'yet,'know'that'not'only'is'it'expensive'and'a'2me'waster,'
it'can'also'kill'her'sexual'aXrac2on'for'you'because'youre'basically'killing'the'
logis2cs'needed'for'a'quick'ing.'When'she'looks'at'you'as'"boyfriend'
material"'she'will'probably'not'want'to'get'under'the'sheets'with'you'quickly.
Sex'should'just'happen'because'its'easier'to'ra2onalize.'If'you'aXach'all'the'
clich'tradi2ons'to'it,'youre'basically'saying'that'its'not'going'to'just'
happenit'must'be'carefully'considered'and'anchored'in'a'rela2onship.'
Ironically,'it'is'oRen'not'good'for'either'of'you'to'have'this'as'a'star2ng'point'
for'any'kind'of'rela2onship.
Women,'for'the'most'part,'like'dual'channel'communica2on.'There'should'be'
enough'there'that'she'can'explain'why'it'happened.'At'the'same'2me,'there'
should'be'as'few'strings'aXached'as'possible'so'that'she'can'act'without'having'
to'worry'about'long'term'eects'of'her'ac2ons.
Strings,'if'you'decide'to'want'them,'are'something'you'can'aXach'one'by'one,'
all'in'due'2me.'ARer'sex.
This'idea'of'aXaching'strings'spans'a'bunch'of'other'areas'as'well.'Some'girls'
will'happily'fuck'you,'but'they'dont'want'to'be'seen'with'you'in'public.'This'
means'you'should'have'an'open'mind'when'it'comes'to'seQng'up'a'meet,'and'
not'insist'on'mee2ng'in'a'public'place'rst,'even'if'a'lot'of'girls'will'prefer'this'
for'the'obvious'added'safety.''But'dont'be'surprised'if'a'girl'suggests'just'
coming'to'your'place.'The'reasons'could'be'many.'She'could'be'planning'to'be'
unfaithful,'she'might'think'youre'too'old'for'her'(but'she's2ll'wants'to'do'you),'
63

iGNITE

she'might'think'youre'cute'but'also'fear'that'her'friends'wouldnt'approve.
Were'not'even'talking'about'a'special'breed'of'girls,'they'all'change'and'
behave'dierently'based'on'situa2on'and'hormonal'balance.'Girls'will'jump'in'
the'taxi'with'you,'come'home'with'you'and'bang'you'and'leave'in'the'morning'
without'leaving'a'number.'Or'name.'This'doesnt'need'to'be'a'reec2on'of'
your'sexual'prowess.'She'could'be'married'or'regret'ac2ng'on'her'whims'for'a'
number'of'reasons.'Dont'dwell'on'it.

64

Ask&and&you&shall&receive
If'you'want'something,'make'it'known.
If'you'walk'around'wan2ng'something'silently,'people'can's2ll'tell.'It'makes'you'
come'o'as'low'in'the'pecking'order.'It'shows'that'you're'not'used'to'geQng'
what'you'want,'and'that'you've'resigned.'
Simply'asking'for'something'or'explicitly'making'your'desires'and'inten2ons'
known'signals'the'opposite.'It'shows'that'you're'used'to'geQng'what'you'
want.'If'you'had'lived'a'life'of'geQng'"no",'you'probably'would'have'stopped'
by'now.'People'are'slow'learners,'but'not'that'slow.
This'is'something'dierent'than'aXaching'a'lot'of'emo2onal'weight'to'the'
outcome'of'the'request.'People'high'on'the'pecking'order'are'used'to'geQng'a'
no'some'of'the'2me,'because'they'put'themselves'out'there.'But'it'doesn't'
phase'them.'They'keep'going'regardless.'Not'in'a'needy'way,'necessarily'asking'
for'the'same'thing'from'the'same'person'over'and'over'again.'They're'just'able'
to'move'on'and'get'what'they'need'elsewhere.
In'line'with'strings'aXached,'you'll'soon'no2ce'that'it's'oRen'beXer'to'ask'for'
things'of'a'lusty'nature'than'an'emo2onal'one.'Not'all'girls'are'built'the'same'
here,'but'the'progression'seems'to'be'in'general'that'it's'perfectly'ne'to'have'
sex'outside'of'a'rela2onship.
I'nd'that'saying'things'like'"I'just'want'to'lie'next'to'you'and'snuggle"'strikes'a'
nice'chord'here.'It'is'physical'in'nature'but'also'has'a'touch'of'roman2c'ritual'
without'being'needy.'If'I'gauge'that'they'want'to'take'it'in'a'sexual'direc2on,'I'
never'hold'back.
This'is'a'recurring'concept'through'the'whole'interac2on,'from'matching'up'on'
Tinder,'to'wan2ng'to'meet.'Keep'this'in'the'back'of'your'mind'when'you'read'
the'coming'examples,'and'it'will'make'sense'how'to'apply'it.
But'never'be'afraid'of'you'desires'as'a'man.'Women'love'being'desired,'and'
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they'appreciate'it'when'men'have'the'balls'to'show'it.

66

AZen9on
AXen2on'is'probably'the'most'important'concept'in'all'of'this,'and'once'you'
command'someone's'aXen2on,'they'will'do'your'bidding.'Wow,'that'turned'
out'preXy'drama2c,'but'it's'true.
This'starts,'on'Tinder,'with'your'prole'grabbing'their'aXen2on'and'ul2mately'
being'to'their'liking.'But'unless'you'manage'to'keep'their'aXen2on,'youre'
never'going'to'be'able'to'land'a'meet.
At'this'point,'many'people'will'assume'this'means'that'they'need'to'be'
extremely'funny'or'pushy.'Nothing'could'be'further'from'the'truth.'Their'
aXen2on'comes'from'they'having'invested'in'you.'This'ongoing'investment'
creates'a'momentum.'This'momentum'is'then'increased'by'you'adding'to'it,'
small'nudges'here'and'there.
You'should'also'keep'in'mind'that'your'aXen2on'is%a%form%of%currency,'and'you'
should'use'it'sparingly.'This'is'a'huge'part'of'what'screening'is;'using'your'
aXen2on'to'reward'good'behavior'and'consequently'taking'it'away'to'punish'
bad.

Momentum
When'you'start'looking'at'your'interac2ons,'you'll'start'to'understand'the'
importance'of'momentum.'It'can'be'hard'to'get'some'of'these'women'to'
mobilize'enough'to'actually'meet'up,'and'this'is'why'every'2me'you'make'
them'invest'in'your'interac2on,'you'build'momentum,'and'this'momentum'
doesn't'last'forever.
Basically'this'means'that'you'have'to'tune'your'funnel'so'that'when'you'nail'
your'ini2al'interac2on,'you'have'a'2meslot'where'you'can't'this'lady,'even'if'it'
means'you'need'to'meet'two'or'more'in'a'single'day.
It's'a'good'thing'to'match'with'cute'chicks,'and'it's'a'good'thing'to'have'a'
pleasant'interac2on'on'your'mobile'phone,'but'when'this'goes'well,'you'need'
to'have'an'outlet'in'the'physical'world'where'this'interac2on'can'intersect'with'
reality.
Ideally,'the'rst'2me'you'contact'someone'on'Tinder,'you'll'end'up'seQng'up'a'
mee2ng.'Again,'this'means'that'you'need'to'have'2me'to'meet'people.'More'
importantly'you'try'to'get'away'from'having'an'online'conversa2on'that'needs'
constant'maintenance.
The'ini2al'hello'is'a'sort'of'a'spark'in'itself.'The'following'conversa2on'should'
be'a'ame'which'increases'investment'and'culminates'at'the'end'of'the'
conversa2on'in'an'agreement'to'meet.
If'you'haven't'done'this'before'it'might'sound'overly'ambi2ous,'but'the'fact'of'
the'maXer'is'that'the'quicker'you'do'this,'the'higher'your'chances'of'mee2ng'
actually'are,'because'you'are'u2lizing'the'momentum.'The'opposite'is'to'build'
momentum'and'have'it'zzle'out,'trying'to'"build'comfort"'or'"get'to'know'the'
other'person"'while'you'are's2ll'online.'This'makes'it'a'lot'harder'to'actually'
meet'up'because'you'need'to'build'the'momentum'every'2me'and'it'sets'the'
precedent'that'communica2on'never'reaches'"escape'velocity".
Not'being'able'to'maintain'momentum'through'the'funnel'is'a'true'case'of'
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iGNITE

"failing'to'plan'is'planning'to'fail".'This'is'absolutely'key'if'you'want'to'get'a'
high'yield'from'Tinder.
We'll'see'in'the'examples'how'to'do'this'in'prac2ce'in'a'later'sec2on.
On'Snapchat'this'is'almost'the'opposite,'as'you're'doing'slow'simmering'of'
many'people'at'the'same'2me.'This'is'benecial'in'situa2ons'where'you're'not'
in'the'same'physical'loca2on'(that'is,'city)'but'you's2ll'want'to'keep'the'person'
warm.'You'can'easily'manage'a'lot'of'people'this'way'using'dierent'
techniques,'so'momentum'doesn't'really'apply'in'the'same'way'using'
Snapchat.

Example:&Steady&momentum&following&qualica9on&script,&Malory&
(24)
T: Hi, Malory! Are you ready for your test?
M: Hit it
T: Superb! What do you prefer, red or white wine?
M: Red for fall and winter, white for spring and summer
T: Oooh, a complex little miss. Movies or a trip through the
park?
M: Taking a drive
T: What kind of wheels do you have?
M: None:) I meant a trip rather than going to the movies
T: OK! I have a car, but I've temporarily given it to a
friend. It's just hassle when you're living downtown.
T: What do you prefer from sushi, steak, chinese and
italian?
M: Sushi
T: Okey, good. Are you little or big spoon?
M: I really don't know what that expression means
M: ?
T: Like, when you're lying next to someone and holding the
other person, do you lie on the inside being held (little) or
are you on the outside holding (big)?
M: Little:)
T: Cute. :)
T: It says in the profile you're 3 kilometers away, where in

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town are you?

M: I'm at school:) the nice working girl district
T: Ah, let me guess. You are at Name of School.
M: Hehe no, Name of Photography School
T: Ah, nice! Canon or Nikon? Or are you the talent?
M: Canon, I hope so
T: Ah, I am also Canon. But I had two cameras stolen
recently, so I am a little sad.
T: I am a little skeptical of chatting so much on the
cellphone with people I don't know, are you keen on meeting
over a cup an afternoon?
M: Ow, how is that possible? That sounds nice.
T: Oh, we just had a house party and I had two cameras with
flashes and lenses lying in the window sill. Suddenly they
were gone. SOB.
T: There's a new place up where I live, Name of Place. It is
pretty nice.
M: Sounds good:)
T: Cool. I've picked the place, you pick the time. :)
M: I'm a student and am flexible:)
T: Ah, super. What about tomorrow?
M: That can work.
T: Cool. I think I'll be ready at around six.

Ok,'so'as'you'can'tell,'I'm'working'from'a'script.'The'script'is'a'preXy'simple'
qualica2on'and'investment'loop,'which'people'seem'to'respond'preXy'nicely'
to.'In'this'exact'example,'it'becomes'a'liXle'elaborate,'as'I'try'to'pace'it'a'liXle'
slowly.'Whenever'I'see'we'have'some'common'interests,'I'try'to'bake'them'
into'the'conversa2on'where'it'makes'sense.'It'allows'me'to'share'a'liXle'bit'
about'myself,'and'it'allows'her'to'do'the'same.
We'll'see'some'varia2ons'on'this'script'later'on,'especially'in'situa2ons'where'
it'isn't'as'elaborate.'We'll'strip'it'down'to'its'bare'necessi2es'to'ensure'there'is'
momentum'and'to'create'the'necessary'investment.

Example:&Harnessing&momentum&a_er&a&match,&Marita&(20)
This'is'the'whole%communica1on'needed'to'setup'a'meet.'Precursor:'Her'
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prole'text'reads:
Looking&for&a&solid&sunday&boyfriend;*
T:
M:
T:
M:
T:
M:
T:
M:
T:
M:

When on Sunday?
What about 1PM?
Great. Where about in town are you?
Area A. You?
Area B. Come to Place A.
Ok.
It'll be fun.
I'm betting on it.
I'm sure it'll at least be solid.
I would hope so.

This'is'a'great'example'of'going'from'a'match'to'a'meetup'in'really'short'2me.'
This'will'obviously'not'work'every'2me,'but'it'shows'how'you'simply'surf'on'
the'momentum'created'by'a'match,'give'it'a'liXle'nudge'and'nd'an'outlet'in'
the'real'world.'This'is'all%that%is%needed'a'lot'of'the'2me.'No2ce'how'the'whole'
conversa2on'is'about'me'assuming'she's'on'Tinder'because'she%wants%to%meet%
up,'and'there'is'no'gaming.'It's'just'sor2ng'out'logis2cs.

71

Screening
A'Danish'lady'posted'this'classied'ad'in'the'paper:
Seeking'boyfriend
I%am%a%70%year%old%woman%seeking%a%boyfriend.
He%must%be%49,%55,%56,%67,%70%or%71%years%old%and%be%from%Mn,%Lolland%
Falster%or%Vordingborg.
Phone#:%XXX,%between%9amD10am,%4pmD5pm%or%7pm%to%12pm.
This'might'be'a'liXle'game'heavy'for'some'of'you,'but'if'you'manage'to'
understand'the'concept'of'screening,'youre'basically'set.'This'is'the'mother'of'
most'concepts'that'are'eec2ve'in'social'engineering.
Funnily'enough,'Tinder'is'an'exercise'in'screening:'You'swipe'leR'or'you'swipe'
right.
Being'swiped'right'means'that'the'person'is'good'enough'that'the'person'
can'expect'to'hold'some'of'your'aXen2on'and'perhaps'even'hold'you'some'
night'and'keep'you'warm.
Being'swiped'leR'means'that'the'person'is'doomed'to'an'eternity'of'loneliness.'
Obviously,'this'isnt'true,'but'it'doesnt'detract'from'the'fact'that'this'is'
invariably'what'it'feels'like.'It'doesnt'really'maXer'whos'about'to'swipe'you'
leR,'it's2ll'hurts.
Learning'to'screen'in'communica2on'basically'allows'you'to'command'
compliance'through'the'overarching'danger'of'being'swiped'leR.
If'I'ask'you'what'you'prefer'of,'say,'apples'and'pears,'you'might'think'that'I'just'
handed'you'the'screening%frame.'I'give'you'the'op2on'of'screening'out'an'
apple,'I'give'you'the'op2on'of'screening'in'a'pear.'In'reality,'however,'I's2ll'own'
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the'screening'frame'over'you,'because'me'asking'you'to'do'this'act'is'really'
about'me'seeing'how'you'screen.'
I'prefer'apples.
Oh,'he'replied,'with'sad'eyes'of'steel.
or
I'prefer'pears.
Nice,'he'replied,'his'eyes'burning'with're,'youve'got'great'taste.
In'the'laXer'example,'youve'got'great'taste'is'an'act'of'screening'someone'
in,'s2ll'controlling'the'screening'frame.
Screening'is'going'to'be'so'dominant'in'all'your'online'conversa2ons'that'there'
wont'really'be'any'lengthy'examples'without'it.'There'will'be'short'examples'
without'it,'where'the'the'whole'interac2on'is'just'a'maXer'of'harnessing'the'
momentum'from'the'mutual'screening'that'happened'when'matching,'but'
there'is'usually'some'screening'in'all'the'interac2ons'before'a'meet.'In'these'
examples,'preXy'much'all'of'the'conversa2on'is'handling'of'logis2cs,'but'that'
implies'that'you've'been'mutually'"screened'in".
Just'understand'this:'To'have'the'screening'frame'basically'means'that'youre'
the'one'who'decides'whats'good'and'whats'bad.'It'means'that'you'have'
the'power'to'walk'away'at'any'point.'Screening'can'be'done'through'screening'
someone'in'or'screening'someone'out.'Giving'a'compliment'is'an'example'of'
screening'someone'in.'Looking'away'when'someone'is'talking'to'you'is'an'
example'of'screening'someone'out.'
Both'are'very'eec2ve.'You'dont'need'to'screen'people'out'to'get'the'
screening'frame,'and'screening'out'is'oRen'polarizing.
A'way'to'understand'why'screening'is'so'incredibly'ecient'is'described'using'
an'analogy.'Lets'say'youre'shopping'for'a'house,'and'you'go'to'see'a'house'
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that'looked'interes2ng'in'the'paper.'
The'house'is'in'a'nice'neighborhood'and'seems,'at'rst'glance,'to'be'of'good'
standard.'Youve'talked'to'the'bank'about'taking'up'a'mortgage,'and'they'have'
agreed'to'give'you'a'loan.'
Now,'this'money,'this'value,'is'virtually'siQng'in'your'bank'account.'And'the'
prospect'youre'looking'at'is'your'poten2al'investment.'Because'you'are'
represen2ng'a'huge'sum'of'money,'a'large'value,'you'are'incredibly'keen'on'
making'sure'this'is'a'sound'investment.'So'you'ask'ques2ons.'You'double'check'
the'plumbing.'You'make'damn'sure'this'is'a'good'estate'to'place'your'value.
This'is'screening.'It'implies'that'you'carry'value,'that'you'have'means.
People'who'dont'screen'in'a'housing'situa2on'are'uncommon,'because'they'
usually'dont'show'up'to'even'see'the'house.'Comparing'to'a'da2ng'situa2on'
this'translates'roughly'to'someone'showing'up'to'see'a'house'listed'in'the'local'
paper,'just'meandering'around'the'house'knowing'that'they'cannot'aord'it,'
so'they'really'dont'need'to'do'a'check'of'the'plumbing.'They'know'they'are'
not'going'to'live'there'anyway,'why'bother?'Some'part'of'them'might'hope'
that'they'some'day'win'the'loXery'and'can'bring'a'suitcase'full'of'cash'and'pay'
it'all'in'one'swoop.
And'that'is'the'other'way'to'approach'a'da2ng'situa2on'without'screening.'
Ac2ng'like'you'just'won'the'loXery,'and'is'ready'to'invest'in'the'rst'house'you'
see,'like'a'fool.'This'represents'ee2ng,'transient'value.'It'is'a'dierent'beast'
altogether'than'applying'screening'and'making'sure'you'get'value'for'your'
money.
Screening'is'power.'It'is'the'most'reliable'way'of'displaying'that'you'represent'
real'and'stable'value,'that'youre'a'chooser'and'not'a'beggar.
Screening'is'highly'related'to'how'you'manage'your'aXen2on,'because'in'a'
sense,'aben1on%is%your%cash.
74

Dominance
Dominance'means'a'lot'of'dierent'things'to'dierent'people.'Some'people'
associate'dominance'with'being'loud'and'puQng'other'people'down.'
Personally,'I'nd'that'a'nice'and'workable'deni2on'of'dominance'is'being%able%
to%act%without%too%much%considera1on.'In'other'words,'dominance'is'the'typical'
mindset'of'the'go'geXer.
To'understand'dominance'in'this'light,'then,'is'to'be'comfortable'with'the'idea'
of'desiring'something.'Wan2ng'to'meet'someone'is'OK.'Wan2ng'to'fuck'
someone'is'perfectly'ne.'If'youre'not'aligned'with'and'accep2ng'of'your'
desires,'dominance'becomes'incredibly'hard'to'do'and'will'almost'seem'
forced.
You'll'see'with'experience'how'you'exert'dominance'in'your'encounters,'online'
and'in'real'life.'But'be'wary'of'situa2ons'where'you'second'guess'yourself'too'
much.'I'know'from'experience'that'this'might'be'hard'to'do,'but'hopefully'the'
examples'in'the'book'have'enough'examples'of'true'dominance'to'make'it'easy'
for'you'to'understand'how'to'manifest'them'into'the'real'world.
Another'way'to'look'at'dominance'in'a'benecial'way'is'to'consider'the'
rela2onship'between'a'parent'and'a'child.'It's'not'that'a'parent'doesn't'care'
for'the'child,'but'the'parent'always'knows'how'to'act'with'mutual'benet'in'
mind.'This'means'that'some2mes'the'child's'immediate'wishes'need'to'be'set'
aside.
This'gives'a'couple'of'of'key'concepts'that'are'typical'of'being'dominant.'You'
tend'to'lead,'you'tend'to'make'the'decisions.'It'doesn't'mean'that'you'don't'
take'the'other'person's'preferences'into'account,'you'just'take'ac2on'and'
make'the'decisions'that'benet'you'both.

Overextension
It'is'easy'to'overextend,'and'nding'a'sweet'spot'comes'with'experience.'
Fortunately,'geQng'experience'with'Tinder'and'Snapchat'is'easy.
Overextension'is'pushing'for'a'physical'meet'too'soon.'It'is'asking'her'too'soon'
to'divulge'where'in'town'she's'located.'It'is'becoming'too'sexual'too'soon.
Understanding'when'you'can'push'on'these'points'isn't'that'hard,'but'it's'
important'to'understand'the'concept'of'overextension,'because'you'can'
chronically'overextend'and's2ll'have'success.'However,'your'yield'will'be'lower'
than'it'needs'to'be.'
In'a'way,'you'can'consider'overextending'as'trying'to'create'too'much'
momentum'too'quickly.
An'example'of'trying'to'counter'overextension'is'crea2ng'a'buer'between'
communica2on'that'has'a'covert'or'overt'sexual'component'and'asking'for'her'
loca2on.'It'is'just'too'aggressive,'and'is'easily'shot'down.'Here,'it's'easy'to'see'
the'connec2on'between'extension'and'momentum;'you're'trying'to'increase'
investment'and'overlap'by'extending'while'keeping'the'momentum.'If'you'
extend'too'quickly,'you'will'have'to'do'"damage'control"'or'"retreat";'this'kills'
your'momentum.
It'can'be'benecial'to'overextend.'The'more'extension'you'actually'get'
compliance'with,'the'larger'momentum'you'build.'This'means'that'you'can'go'
from'zero'to'hero'in'shorter'2me'and'also'just'screen'out'a'lot'of'prospects'
that'aren't'interes2ng'sooner.
In'terms'of'"tradi2onal'game",'this'advice'might'be'ammable,'but'when'you'
see'the'girl'of'your'dreams,'try'to'progress'in'a'controlled'way,'because'it'will'
increase'your'chances.'Tradi2onal'game'will'have'you'believe'you'should'
"game"'all'your'women'fairly'equally,'and'communica2on'with'the'opposite'
sex'should'be'the'same'no'maXer'how'much'you'like'the'girl.'You'can'decide'
for'yourself'what'makes'sense'here'now'that'you've'seen'both'sides'of'the'
76

iGNITE

story.'
Controlled'exercises'in'overextension'has'a'number'of'benets.'It'will'allow'
you'to'see'what'is'possible:'How'quickly'someone'will'comply'with'your'
wishes.'It'will'make'you'beXer'at'con1ngencies:'How'do'you'handle'it'when'
someone'tries'to'kill'momentum.'It'will'make'you'beXer'tuned'to'reading'sub'
communica2ons'and'this,'like'a'sports'car,'will'provide'you'with'a'broader'
spectrum'of'speeds.
Controlled'overextension'also'works'as'screening;'you'will'screen'out'girls'who'
aren't'necessarily'interested'in'a'quick'ing'early.'This'can'help'you'spend'less'
2me'on'dates'with'girls'who'are'only'looking'for'a'boyfriend'or'only'looking'to'
chat'online.
Obviously,'if'you'are'looking'for'something'more'serious,'you'need'to'be'able'
to'gauge'how'much'force'you'put'in.
If'you'match'with'someone'on'Tinder,'you'should'expect'them'to'be'interested'
in'mee2ng'you.'This'will'create'a'communica2on'that'is'soRly'and'surely'
driRing'in'the'direc2on'of'the'meet.'This'means'that'you'dont'have'to'push'for'
a'meet,'you'just'need'to'suggest'it.'Well'get'into'exactly'how'a'liXle'bit'later.
Pushing'for'a'meet'when'its'implied'is'a'form'of'overextension.
To'make'this'point'clear,'imagine'that'you'chat'to'someone'on'a'BDSM'site.'
Not'that'you'ever'would,'because'youre'not'like'that,'but'just'imagine.'Talking'
to'people'about'their'sexual'orienta2on'apart'from'the'core'stu'is'a'form'of'
overextension,'because'its'already'implied.'If'you'manage'to'communicate'
lightly'and'"normally",'their'submissive'side'will'come'out'soon'enough;'it's'in'
their'prole'that'it's'there.

Example:&Overextension&because&of&lacking&buer,&Josie&(19)
T: Hi there, Josie! Are you ready for your test?

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iGNITE

J: Hi! What's it all about ??

T: It's just a small and cute little thing, just like you!
J: I guess you'll have to run it then :)
T: Alright! What do you prefer, red or white wine?
J: White!
T: Oki! Would you rather go to the movies or for a trip in
the park?
J: Hm, it depends on my mood :)
T: So you like both. :)
J: Yes :)
T: Great! What do you prefer, italian, sushi, chinese or
steak?
J: has to be sushi and italian, but that's a tough one!
T: Eheheh, OK. Are you big or little spoon?
J: did I fail?
J: little
T: Nooo, you can't fail, we're just getting to know each
other. :)
T: Ok, I like both.
J: Hehe, that's good.
T: It says you're 10 miles away, where are you in the world?
J: Just outside of CITY :) What about you?
T: Ah, I'm in Name of Fairly Well Known Street.
J: Oki :)
T: I'm a little bit skeptical of chatting too much on the
mobile with people I don't know; why don't we meet up for a
cup of tea an afternoon?
J: Perhaps :)
J: Do you meet with a lot of people from here?
T: I'm actually pretty new here. Since Monday.
T: I just feel like I've done my share of chatting on MSN in
the old days, and it often turned out being something of a
waste of time.
J: Hehe, that's true :)
T: Cool. :) We have a new place called Name of New Place. It
is surprisingly cosy for being in this neighborhood.
J: Cosy :)
T: Yeah. :) Are you around here a lot?
J: I work in City, so I'm there quite a bit. :)
T: Cool, let's just find a day then. But I need to hit the
showers, I'm expecting a visitor. Nice talking to you. :)

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iGNITE

J: The same.

This'example'shows'overextension.'It'might'seem'similar'to'the'other'examples'
using'the'same'script,'but'no2ce'how'I'ask'her'about'her'loca2on'right'aRer'
asking'her'about'spooning,'physical'stu.'This'can'easily'come'o'as'a'liXle'
presumptuous,'and'it'is'a'good'idea'to'buer'this'with'a'less'sexually'loaded'
ques2on.'It'won't'lose'its'power,'it'will'just'increase'your'yield,'because'some'
girls'don't'want'to'be'that'physical'with'strangers,'at'least'not'on'paper.
A'simple'way'to'remedy'this'would'have'been'to'add'another'qualica2on'
ques2on'between'the'spooning'ques2on'to'desexualize'before'moving'onto'
the'loca2on.
A'lot'of'girls'won't'mind'at'all'hooking'up'aRer'discussing'physical'stu,'but'
again;'if'you'prefer'yield'over'speed,'you'might'want'to'try'to'not'overextend.

79

Frac9ona9on
Frac2ona2on'is'a'concept'you'might'know'from'hypnosis,'but'it'is'far'less'
mys2cal'than'you'd'believe'given'that'background.'We'll'use'the'term'
"frac2ona2on"'fairly'loosely,'but'it's'a'very'potent'concept'when'combined'
with'some'of'the'other'we'are'presen2ng.
Basically,'frac2ona2on'is'the'idea'that'people's'compliance'is'bendable,'much'
the'same'way'a'rubber'band'becomes'more'exible'upon'mul2ple'extensions.
If'you'want'a'rubber'band'to'go'from'having'a'maximum'circumference'of'say'
10"'to'one'of'12",'you'can't'just'pull'it'out'to'12"'straight'away;'it'will'probably'
break.'But'if'you'start'by'going'to'10.5"'and'leQng'it'rest,'and'then'move'on'to'
11"'and'leQng'it'rest,'soon'you'll'nd'that'it'will'happily'accomodate'the'full'
12",'because'it'has'been'frac2onated'into'doing'to.
(If'you'got'a'liXle'bit'turned'on'reading'the'previous'paragraph,'good.)
Frac2ona2on,'then,'is'a'technique'where'you'stretch'the'limits'of'compliance'
without'fully'reaching'the'breaking'point.'Every'2me'you'stretch'it'into'the'
outside'zone,'the'zone'will'basically'extend.
This'is'highly'related'to'the'idea'of'momentum'and'overextension;'
overextension'can'be'said'to'be'a'way'to'move'into'a'"danger'zone",'and'
repeated'overextension'without'reaching'the'breaking'point'can'be'said'to'be'
frac2ona2on.
Just'for'the'record,'frac2ona2on'when'used'in'hypnosis'most'oRen'refers'to'
puQng'people'in'trance'and'taking'them'back'out'of'it.'When'a'subject'is'put'
back'into'trance'again,'the'person'will'oRen'go'way,'way'deeper'into'trance'on'
the'second'induc2on,'just'like'the'rubber'band'will'extend'further.
Part'of'the'reason'why'frac2ona2on'works'so'well'with'compliance'is'that'
when'you'overextend'and'back'o,'people'register'the'overextension,'but'
backing'o'doesn't'give'them'anything'to'act'on.'This'creates'a'vacuum'in'
80

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which'they'are'prompted'to'protect'their'investment'in'you'by'ra2onalizing'the'
overextension.'If'this'is'2med'correctly,'the'next'2me'you'overextend'to'the'
same'point,'it'won't'really'be'an'overextension,'because'your'behavior'has'
been'ra2onalized'and'therefore'accepted.
In'an'ideal'situa2on,'you'll'be'geQng'away'with'stu'because'"that's'just'who'
you'are".'This'is'par2ally'why'girls'let'some'guys'do'certain'things'to'them'(like'
sex)'and'other'guys'not,'regardless'of'ini2al'levels'of'aXrac2on.
Note'that'there'will'be'2mes'when'you'think'you're'frac2ona2ng'and'you're'
not.'The'eect'can'be'preXy'devasta2ng,'as'what'might'really'be'happening'is'
that'you're'nearing'the'last'straw,'the'breaking'point.'Again,'experience'will'
help'you'separate'these'two'out.
The'other'reason'why'people'are'oRen'easy'to'frac2onate'are'because'they'
are'doing'a'protec2on'of'their'investment.'If'they'have'been'talking'to'you'for'
an'hour,'that's'an'investment'of'2me.'If'you'overextend,'they'tend'to'allow'you'
to'back'down'a'liXle'and'restate'your'inten2on,'simply'because'if'you'turn'out'
to'be'a'dickhead,'their'one'hour'investment'is'lost.'If'you'can'reestablish'that'
you'are'a'sensible'guy'to'keep'inves2ng'in,'they'will'let'you.
One'of'the'typical'examples'of'frac2ona2on'is'saving'an'overextension'by'
saying'things'like'"I'm'just'kidding".'You'say'something'that's'poten2ally'overly'
sexual'or'oensive'and'when'you'no2ce'you'are'overextending'you'go'"I'm'just'
messing'with'you".'
This'is'going'to'release'tension,'and'while'you'really'don't'want'to'release'
tension'without'crea2ng'some'benecial'momentum'out'of'it'too'oRen,'
showing'that'you're'willing'and'able'to'do'so'is'a'good'way'to'make'people'feel'
more'comfortable'around'you.
I'nd'this'way'of'releasing'tension'to'be'a'fairly'blunt'tool,'and'I'don't'oRen'
resort'to'it'myself.'I'nd'a'beXer'technique'in'general'for'that'of'frac2ona2on'
is'appeal'to'ambiguity.'Most'things'can'be'pushed'and'be'poten2ally'sexual,'
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but's2ll'be'ambiguous.'If'somebody'reacts'nega2vely'to'your'comment,'you'
can'accuse'them'of'having'their'minds'in'the'guXer,'and'you'obviously'meant'
the'nongsexual'interpreta2on'of'what'you'were'saying.
See'the'sec2on'on'ambiguity'for'examples.

82

Investment
Investment'is'a'lot'of'things.
It'can'be'a'monetary'investment,'but'most'frequently'when'we'discuss'
investment'it'is'aben1on%over%1me.'This'doesn't'mean'that'you'need'to'have'
someone'focus'on'you'intensively'over'2me,'it'can'be'sucient'to'have'small'
drops'of'interac2on'and'the'bucket'will'eventually'be'full.
Investment'is'interes2ng,'because'most'people'will'try'to'protect'an'
investment.'

Open&loops
An'open'loop'is'like'a'joke'without'a'punchline.
It'is,'at'its'core,'an'expression'of'uncertainty.'Open'loops'irritate'the'living'
daylights'out'of'some'people,'and'act'as'powerful'drivers'in'most'of'us.
Crea2ng'open'loops'is'easy,'and'it's'a'powerful'technique.'Most'material'that'
discuss'this'does'so'quite'coarsely.'Open'loops'come'in'all'gradings.
"You'won't'believe'what'I'saw'today"'is'an'example'of'a'very'coarse'open'loop.
Wai2ng'before'you'give'someone'your'aXen2on'aRer'they'call'your'name,'if'
only'by'a'split'second,'is'an'example'of'a'ne'grained'open'loop.
Open'loops,'then,'are'a'product'of'2ming'and'availability'of'informa2on.'The'
more'vital'the'informa2on,'the'stronger'the'loop.
There'is'a'full'sec2on'on'crea2ng'open'loops'later,'I'just'wanted'to'introduce'
you'to'the'concept,'as'we'll'need'it'to'discuss'tension.

Tension
Tension'is'your'friend.'Not'because'tension'in'itself'is'good,'because'it'is'not.'
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Quite'the'opposite.'Most'people'loathe'tension'with'a'passion,'and'will'be'
driven'to'release'it.'This'is'why'tension'is'your'friend,'you've'found'a'strong'
driver'in'people,'and'as'long'as'you'can'create'it'more'or'less'at'will'and'you'
hold'the'key'to'its'release,'you've'preXy'much'hijacked'someones'aXen2on'
and'therefore'they'invest'in'you.'See'how'this'all'2es'together?
Let's'break'it'down'quickly.
Tension'can'be'expressed'as'a'func2on'of'investment'and'uncertainty.'The'
higher'the'investment,'the'higher'the'tension.'The'higher'the'uncertainty,'the'
higher'the'tension.
If'you'follow'this'idea,'a'maximum'tension'situa2on'is'then'where'you'stand'to'
lose'your'life'(high'investment)'with'a'50/50'chance'(high'uncertainty).'This'is'
almost'the'template'that'most'Hollywood'suspense'thrillers'are'cloning.
It'is'a'fortunate'series'of'events'that'we'are'currently'equipped'with'the'tools'
to'create'investment'and'uncertainty.
It'is'important'to'understand'the'idea'of'tension'release'and'the'2ming'of'it.'
Boring'people'release'tension'straight'away.'Some'do'it'because'they'
empathize'strongly'with'people'and'have'low'tension'thresholds'themselves.
It'is'a'good'thing'to'release'tension'at'intervals,'however.'If'you'don't,'people'
will'start'to'ins2nc2vely'shy'away'from'you,'like'they'shy'away'from'people'
who'tell'a'lot'of'jokes'that'are'all'setup'and'no'punchline.'You're'the'guy'that'
leave'them'hanging'on'a'high've.
There'is'a'technique'called'an'open'loop'hando.'It'basically'means'that'you'
keep'mul2ple'loops'open'and'you'can'close'only'parts'of'them'as'you'open'
more.'This'sounds'very'complex,'but'let's'look'at'some'examples'and'see'that'
it's'actually'quite'simple'stu;'most'of'you'naturally'do'this'on'a'daily'basis.
To'see'examples'on'how'to'create'open'loops'for'crea2ng'tension'and'
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investment,'see'Communica2on.

85

Gradual&build
A'sure'way'to'manage'momentum'is'to'do'a'gradual'build.'This'isn't'something'
that'happens'over'months'or'years,'it'can'happen'in'minutes.'What'signals'a'
gradual'build,'however,'is'that'there'are'checkpoints'in'the'interac2on.'You'say'
something,'she'responds,'you'adjust'accordingly.'This'goes'both'ways.'
Typically,'when'building'gradually,'you'manage'to'balance'her'investment'with'
your'extension.'This'means'that'you'make'sure'she's'spent'some'2me'chaQng'
with'you'before'you'push'for'a'meet,'for'example.'Again,'not'hours,'months'or'
years,'ve'minutes'can'be'enough.
The'more'investment'you'manage'to'create'in'a'short'2me,'the'quicker'you'
can'extend.
Again,'gradual'build'isn't'really'required,'it'will'just'increase'your'yield.
This'is'one'of'the'places'where'experience'comes'into'play;'you'will'be'able'to'
see'windows'more'oRen'and'build'more'quickly'and'certainly.'Not'only'will'you'
see'more'windows,'but'you'll'be'familiar'with'more'ways'to'handle'the'
situa2on'when'you'fail'to'build'gradually.'You'll'see'ways'to'save'the'
momentum'by'doing'frac2ona2on'and'just'being'experienced'with'
con2ngencies.

AZrac9on&vs&ra9onaliza9on
Regardless'of'what'they'say,'women'will'demonstrably'fuck'almost'anything'or'
anyone.'AXrac2on'is'not'a'requirement'for'lust.'This'is'an'absolute'fact;'many'
girls'will'allow'things'into'her'vagina'that'she'doesn't'love,'that'she'doesn't'nd'
aXrac2ve'and'that'she'doesn't'even'like.
An'important'part'of'this'is,'however,'her'ability'to'ra2onalize'her'ac2ons.
A'very'common'paXern'for'women'is'giving'in'to'desire'and'then'go'on'to'
ra2onalize'why'aRer'the'fact.'This'isn't'some'fundamental'aw'in'women,'men'
do'it'too.'And'even'then,'it's'not'a'aw,'it's'just'how'people'are.
You'see,'ra2onaliza2ons'are'in'the'conscious'mind,'where'things'need'to'be'
logically'sound.'If'things'aren't,'we'get'what'is'called'a'cogni2ve'dissonance.'
You'experience'one'thing'as'being'the'truth,'but'it'doesn't'match'what'we'
think'is'logical.'This'can'drive'people'crazy.
Enter'our'friend'ra2onaliza2on,'which'is'there'to'build'the'bridge'between'the'
emo2onal'and'the'logical.
A'woman'can'lust'for'you'as'an'extension'of'lus2ng'for'just'"anything".'She's'
"in'heat".'If'she'could'do'so'without'consequence,'she'd'fuck'the'next'guy'she'
met'on'the'street.'The'problem'is,'she'cannot'really'do'so'without'
consequence,'as'society'would'"slut'shame"'her.'Slut'shaming'is'something'
that'happens'for'a'number'of'reasons,'many'of'them'are'highly'unintui2ve,'but'
going'into'details'as'to'why'is'beyond'the'scope'of'this'book.'Just'trust'me'on'
this'one.
Now,'how'does'this'relate'to'you?'Well,'you'can'help'her'ra2onalize'her'
ac2ons,'thereby'making'it'easier'for'her'to'break'down'the'gap'between'the'
emo2onal'and'the'intellectual.
A'good'technique'is'to'give'her'ra2onaliza2on'food.'If'you'ask'her'home'to'a'
coeeshop'on'the'Upper'West'Side'(or'whatever'cons2tutes'as'being'a'swanky'
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neighborhood)'and'she'wanted'to'meet'you'in'the'rst'place,'this'gives'her'
ammuni2on'for'her'future'ra2onaliza2on'exercise.
She'can'give'in'to'her'desires,'have'sex'with'you.'When'her'girlfriends'confront'
her'with'it,'she'can'say'"Well,'rst'he'took'me'to'Albert's'on'49'street".'Her'
friends'will'swoon,'"Ooooh,'Albert's".'Then,'as'you'keep'feeding'her'logical'
reasons'why'it's'OK'to'have'sex'with'you,'her'story'will'be'easier'to'tell'her'
friends,'and'there'will'be'less'slut'shaming.
You'can'pick'up'the'bill,'even'if'it'is'for'two'cups'of'tea.'She'can'then'tell'her'
friends'that'"Yeah,'he'paid'for'the'whole'thing",'and'make'it'more'acceptable'
to'have'sex'with'you.'I'd'recommend'not'picking'up'a'huge'meal'on'the'rst'
date,'because'this'could'easily'work'against'its'purpose'and'she'feels'that'she'
owes'you'something.'You'want'to'liberate'her'by'helping'her'ra2onalize,'not'
bind'her'by'puQng'her'in'debt.
This'is'not'a'"display'of'higher'value"'(DHV)'in'the'tradi2onal'sense,'where'you'
take'a'girl'to'Albert's'to'impress'her'and'make'her'aXracted'to'you.'This'
doesn't'really'work'the'way'you'expect'it'to.'The'purpose'is'to'give'girls'who'
already'want'to'have'sex'with'you'an'opportunity'to'do'so'by'removing'the'
hurdles.'
This'has'nothing'to'do'with'aXrac2on'and'"value",'just'help'her'ra2onalize'her'
ac2ons.
Note'that'she'will'oRen'tell'you'straight'out'what'she'needs'from'you'to'be'
able'to'ra2onalize'things.'To'the'untrained'eye,'this'might'seem'to'shit'tes2ng'
or'gold'digging,'but'oRen'shes'actually'giving'you'her'blueprint'for'
ra2onaliza2on.'If'you'are'of'the'I'put'up'with'no'bullshitgpersuasion,'make'
sure'youre'not'lowering'your'yield'simply'because'youre'not'accommoda2ng'
her'ra2onaliza2on'needs.
The'interes2ng'counterpoint'to'her'telling'you'is'that'you'can'oRen'tell'her'
how'to'ra2onalize.'ORen,'a'girl'will'be'horny,'actually'most'of'them'are'most'of'
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the'2me.'If'you'tell'her'that,'say,'you'read'an'ar2cle'in'Vogue'about'how'sex'is'
healthy,'you're'helping'her'ra2onalize.'It's'easy'to'say'things'like'"It'is'what'you'
want'to'do",'and'what'you're'really'accomplishing'is'bridging'the'logical'and'
emo2onal.

89

Compliance&ladder
A'compliance'ladder'is'something'you'can'build'out'of'thin'air.
If'you'ask'people'to'do'something'for'you'that's'easy'to'comply'with,'chances'
are'they'll'do'it.'This'is'doubly'true'for'people'you'just'met'who'want'to'make'a'
good'impression'on'you.
If'people'comply'to'one'request,'they'are'more'likely'to'comply'to'future'
requests.'This'is'an'eect'called'"Commitment'and'Consistency".'People'want'
to'stay'consistent'with'previous'commitments.
This'allows'you'to'gradually'ask'them'to'jump'through'hoops'of'increasing'
investment,'as'they'want'to'stay'consistent'with'the'hoops'they've'previously'
jumped'through.
Compliance'ladders'can'be'used'in'conjunc2on'with'frac2ona2on'to'make'
people'do'any'number'of'things,'and'this'technique'should'be'in'your'arsenal.
This'is'also'oRen'referred'to'a'"yes"gladder;'if'you'ask'a'ques2on'people'tend'
to'answer'"yes"'to,'they'will'more'likely'answer'yes'to'the'next'ques2on'also.'
T:
H:
T:
H:
caf
T:
H:

Do you like the springtime?

Yes.
Me too. Have you done anything fun in the sun?
Yes, me and a friend was out yesterday having a beer at a
in the sun.
Ah, spring just provides this nice feeling in the body.
Yes, I agree.

Statement&of&intent
The'statement'of'intent'is'extremely'important,'and'it'should'be'used'preXy'
early.'It'is'a'preXy'solid'way'of'making'sure'that'the'conversa2on'doesn't'go'
stale.
Tinder'has'an'implied'statement'of'intent'in'that'you'can'only'communicate'
with'people'you'have'matched'with.'Looking'at'your'implicit'expecta2ons,'this'
means'that'when'you'actually'match'with'someone,'you'can'expect'there'to'
be'an'underlying'inten2on'of'mee2ng'up'with'the'other'person,'and'that'the'
main'focus'should'be'logis2cs'from'this'point'on.
It'is'a'good'idea'to'restate'your'intent'aRer'having'met'someone.'Again,'
considering'that'you'present'yourself'as'a'menu'of'op2ons,'you'sta2ng'your'
interest'in'the'girl'just'basically'creates'another'item'on'the'menu'for'her'to'
pick'when'she'wants/needs/craves'it.'
If'you'met'a'girl'for'a'date'and'she'didnt'really'seem'that'into'you,'clearly'
sta2ng'your'interest'in'her'might'do'one'of'many'things.'She'could'get'lonely,'
drunk,'horny,'whatever,'and'she'could'end'up'picking'you'just'because'you'are'
available.'If'you'state'your'intent'and'back'o,'she'gets'a'feeling'that'she'can'
get'you'with'no'strings'aXached.'
Sta2ng'your'intent'with'a'girl'will'also'raise'your'value'with'her'and'increase'
her'aXrac2on'to'you.'This'is'a'very'simple'eect'where'something'just'
becomes'more'interes2ng'once'it's'immediately'aXainable.'
I'just,'the'other'day,'ipped'through'my'Tinder'contact'list,'and'this'girl'
contacted'me'at'1:30AM'Friday'night,'wondering'where'I'was.'I'looked'at'her'
pictures,'and'she'looked'OK,'nothing'special,'but'decent'enough.'I'told'her'I'
was'at'home.'She'told'me'she'was'at'a'pub'we'had'both'liked'on'Facebook.'
She'asked'me'to'come'down'and'meet'her.'I'told'her'I'was'probably'staying'at'
home,'and'she'said'that's'too'bad'I'was'not'mee2ng'up'when'she'was'just'
looking'to'get'laid.

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Looking'at'her'pictures'again,'she'looked'beXer.'There'was'a'denite'"I'd'do'
her"'line'of'thinking'going'on'in'my'head;'what'was'previously'just'a'set'of'
decent'pictures'of'an'unknown'girl'had'all'of'a'sudden'become'a'probable'and'
available'sexual'encounter'and'therefore'a'lot'more'interes2ng.
Before'she'made'her'inten2on'clear,'she'was'just'a'girl'that'I'could'run'through'
my'funnel,'puQng'in'this'and'that'amount'of'work'with'a'decent'chance'of'
geQng'to'the'end'game.'Now,'the'whole'menu'was'blown'open,'and'she'
represented'a'completely'dierent'risk/reward'and'workload/yield'scenario.
This'is'the'same'eect'you'll'have'when'you'make'statements'of'intent.'Who'
you'are'won't'change,'but'what'you'represent'in'terms'of'opportunity'will.''
This'is'a'part'of'a'larger'topic'I'refer'to'as'experience%design,'where'what'you'
do'is'control'how'she'is'seeing'you,'how'she'perceives'you'in'terms'of'
opportunity'for'new'experiences.

92

Expecta9ons&drive&percep9on
Have'you'ever'no2ced'that'when'you'meet'someone'whos'wearing'a'shirt'and'
2e,'you'kind'of'expect'them'to'be'a'liXle'stuck'up?'Or'when'you'talk'to'a'guy''
who'wears'white'face'makeup,'has'long,'black'hair'and'has'a'Tgshirt'that'spells'
out'lets'sacrice'toddlers'to'Satan,'youre'somewhat'baed'when'it'turns'
out'they'sell'curtains'during'the'day?'Who'wouldve'thought'that'this'business'
of'sacrice'isnt'a'full'2me'job?
There'are'two'funny'eects'at'work'here.
First,'if'two'people'say'the'same'thing,'and'one'looks'like'hes'a'liXle'stuck'up,'
youll'perceive'the'thing'coming'from'the'person'who'looks'a'liXle'stuck'up'as'
being'a'liXle'stuck'up.
Ive'dabbled'a'bit'in'sound'engineering,'and'nowhere'is'this'as'prominent'as'
this.'The'discussions'are'endless,'and'people'claim'one'le'sounds'beXer'than'
another,'even'if'they'are'iden1cal.'Mix'with'your'ears'and'not'your'eyes'is'a'
mantra,'and'many'a'2me'have'I'sat'for'minutes'tweaking'a'knob'on'a'music'
track,'geQng'closer'and'closer'to'the'op2mal'result,'only'to'nd'out'that'the'
knobs'I'am'working'on'are'bypassed;'they'do'not'aect'the'signal'in'any'way.
But'I'swear,'I%could%hear%the%dierence.'This'is'because'my'expecta1ons%drive%
my%percep1on.
The'second'funny'eect'is'that'if'you'talk'to'a'person'you'expect'to'be'a'snob'
and'he'treats'you'with'normal'courtesy,'you'get'a'dissonance.'Youre'likely'to'
perceive'this'person'as'being'way%more%friendly'than'a'person'you'would'
consider'to'be'friendly'in'the'rst'place.
You'see'this'oRen'in'c2on.'The'bad'guy'who'has'a'change'of'heart'wins'
everyone'over,'oRen'turning'out'beXer'liked'than'people'who'have'been'
behaving'well'all'along.
Both'these'eects'steer'you'in'a'single'direc2on:'Its'beXer'to'act'normal,'
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meaning'to'act'as'if'youre'in'the'centre'of'the'spectrum'of'behavior,'than'
trying'to'milk'whatever'expecta2ons'your'polariza2ons'hint'at.
If'youre'polarizing'in'the'bad'boy'direc2on'and'act'normal,'shell'aXribute'
some'bad'boy'things'to'your'normal'communica2on.'You'dont'have'to'
overact;'in'fact,'if'you'do'you'will'probably'hurt'your'bad'boy'image.'The'
reason'for'this'is'simple:'You'wont'see'a'person'who'has'a'million'dollars'in'his'
checking'account'ipping'burgers'at'McDonalds.'He'simply'doesnt'have'to.'
Similarly,'you'wont'see'a'real'bad'boy'ac2ng'bad'boyish'over'the'way'he'is'
naturally.'The'same'reason;'he'simply'doesnt'have'to.'The'point'has'been'
made.'The'same'way'youd'expect'a'person'to'have'no'money'at'all'if'he'ips'
burgers,'youd'start'ques2oning'the'actual'bad'boy'level'of'someone'trying'to'
drive'a'point'home.
Just'dont'do'it.
If'youre'polarizing'in'the'bad'boy'direc2on'and'do'something'nice,'shell'think'
its'really,'really'nice.'You'can'see'this'eect'a'lot'of'places.'Bikers'Against'Child'
Abuse'Interna2onal'is'one'of'these'places,'where'the'juxtaposi2on'of'the'
expecta2on'of'a'biker,'be'it'gang'violence,'drug'dealing,'etc,'against'the'caring'
act'of'gh2ng'child'abuse'just'creates'a'much'more'powerful'combina2on.'Had'
it'been'Nuns'Against'Child'Abuse,'you'might'not'have'raised'an'eyebrow.
This'eect'is'also'at'work'when'you'meet'someone'in'person'for'the'rst'2me.'
If'you'manage'to'come'within'range'of'the'pictures'she's'seen'of'you'online,'no'
maXer'how'processed'they'are,'she'will'snap'into'perceiving'you'as'being'that'
guy.'I'refer'to'this'a'liXle'later'as'closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and'
product,'but'you're'basically'trying'to'avoid'crea2ng'dissonance.'As'long'as'you'
fall'within'range,'her'expecta2ons'will'drive'her'percep2on'of'you'in'a'
benecial'direc2on.

94

Commitment&and&consistency
Commitment'and'consistency'is'the'simple'eect'that'people'tend'to'be'
consistent'with'their'past'choices.'If'youve'bought'an'iPhone,'you'tend'to'love'
it'to'protect'the'commitment'you'made'earlier.'This'is'a'sort'of'a'defence'
mechanism'to'help'you'from'constantly'second'guessing'yourself'and'keep'you'
from'going'insane.
Commitment'and'consistency'can'be'used'oensively,'however.'If'you'make'
someone'commit'to'something,'they'will'want'to'be'consistent'with'it'in'future'
communica2on.'So'if'you'make'them'commit'to,'say,'being'adventurous,'future'
ac2ons'will'more'likely'be'in'line'with'this'adventurous'image'they'are'
projec2ng.
You'can'call'back'to'prior'commitments'in'conversa2on'to'spike'this'tendency'
in'people.'You'can'also'use'it'as'a'basis'for'your'compliance'ladder.
Let's'say'a'girl'asks'you'to'meet'you'on'Friday,'and'then'she'gets'a'last'minute'
thing'she'needs'to'aXend,'so'she'has'to'ake.'She'has'not'been'consistent'with'
her'commitment.'If'you'bring'this'up'when'you'meet'her'the'next'2me,'
showing'a'small'amount'of'doubt'that'she'is'the'kind'of'girl'who'follows'up'on'
her'commitments,'she's'more'likely'to'do'so'in'the'future.

Hurdles
If'both'guys'and'girls'are'walking'around'being'perpetually'horny,'how'come'
we'don't'act'out'on'more'of'our'inclina2ons?'As'it'turns'out,'society,'friends'
and'family'have'a'tendency'to'try'and'put'up'hurdles'for'us.'In'a'sense,'when'
you'start'looking'at'the'game'of'seduc2on'as'the'act'of'removing'hurdles'and'
not'one'of'crea2ng'aXrac2on,'your'results'are'likely'to'skyrocket.
A'lot'of'the'concepts'in'this'sec2on'are'made'to'keep'the'girl'around'for'long'
enough'for'you'to'remove'these'hurdles.'Things'like'"I'don't'go'to'bed'with'
guys'on'the'rst'date"'are'a'result'of'these'hurdles.'Let's'face'it,'it's'perfectly'
reasonable'that'you'don't'really'know'someone'aRer'three'or'even've'dates.'
It's'just'that'when'a'girl'has'been'on've'dates'with'someone,'she's'"paid'her'
dues".'Nobody'can'accuse'you'of'doing'anything'wrong.

Slut&shaming
Society'has'created'an'interest'in'shaming'girls'who'exhibit'"sluXy"'behavior.'
This'isn't'necessarily'just'guys'labelling'guys'as'sluts,'but'females'are'notorious'
for'shaming'other'girls'for'being'sluts.'
From'a'prac2cal'pointgofgview,'slut'shaming'seems'to'be'designed'to'keep'
women'from'ac2ng'on'their'sexual'impulses,'and'by'and'large'it'seems'to'
work.
Helping'her'ra2onalize'things'will'remove'her'fear'of'slut'shaming.

Logis9cs
Your'ercest'enemy'is'going'to'be'logis1cs.'You'll'be'in'dierent'places'
physically,'on'dierent'sleep'cycles'and'among'people.'Well'be'giving'the'
concept'of'logis2cs'a'fairly'thorough'treatment'later'on,'but'this'is'one'of'those'
areas'where'you'need'to'be'a'liXle'inven2ve'and'explore'the'dierent'op2ons'
you'have,'because'your'situa2on'in'life'is'very'dierent'from'mine.
Logis2cs'is'hard,'it's'probably'what'is'going'to'occupy'most'of'your'2me'in'the'
real'world,'apart'from'going'on'dates.
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People'oRen'refer'to'"good'logis2cs"'as'owning'a'cool'pad'dead'center'of'
down'town,'but'this'is'an'oversimplica2on.'Logis2cs'is'everything;'where'and'
when'you'meet,'where'this'loca2on'is'compared'to'your'home,'the'state'of'
your'bedroom'and'the'distance'from'the'place'where'you'oer'her'a'glass'of'
wine'when'you'get'her'home'to'a'place'you'can'make'out.
Whenever'you'are'considering'going'from'virtual/online'communica2on'to'a'
physical'meetup,'you'have'logis2cal'considera2ons.'Whenever'you'occupy'the'
same'space,'you'have'logis2cal'considera2ons.
Making'sure'your'logis2cal'situa2on'is'everything'from'knowing'when'you'have'
the'2me'to'meet'someone'to'keeping'a'clean'room.'From'knowing'which'
places'in'your'neighborhood'are'suitable'for'mee2ng'up'to'making'sure'you'
have'wine'in'the'refrigerator.'Not'all'of'these'are'going'to'be'relevant'at'all'
2mes,'but'it's'a'superb'investment'of'2me'to'have'a'conscious'rela2onship'
with'your'logis2cal'situa2on.
You'can'consider'logis2cs'the'core'of'everything.'You'have'an'open'slot'on'
Monday'at'7PM.'You'want'to'meet'a'girl'in'that'2me'slot.'This'is'a'logis2cal'
issue.'Your'inten1on'will'then'try'to'correct'this'logis2cal'problem,'and'the'
funnel'is'a'tool'to'guide'your'inten2on.
If'you're'siQng'with'a'girl'at'your'favorite'caf'and'you'want'her'in'your'
bedroom,'you're'having'a'logis2cal'issue.
The'problem'with'logis2cs'is'that'everyone's'situa2on'is'bound'to'be'dierent.'
If'you'have'a'place'near'your'apartment,'it'can'be'good'to'ask'her'to'meet'you'
there.'You'll'be'there'oRen,'get'to'know'the'help.'All'this'will'help'out'your'
logis2cal'situa2on.'If'you're'close'to'your'home,'you'can'easier'extract'her'up'
there,'or'even'have'her'meet'you'there'before'you'go'to'the'place.'
A'lot'of'the'examples'from'Tinder'chat'address'the'issue'of'just'sor2ng'out'
logis2cs;'nding'a'place'and'2me'to'meet.'
97

Expecta9ons
Expecta2ons'are'important.'You'should'have'a'conscious'rela2onship'with'your'
expecta2ons'when'communica2ng'with'people,'and'allow'them'to'be'a'base'
note'in'all'communica2on.
You'should'have'some'implicit'expecta2ons'as%a%mindset.'On'Tinder,'I'like'to'
have'the'expecta2on'straight'o'the'bat'that'a'match'means'that'she'wants'to'
meet'me'as'soon'as'possible.'This'just'makes'sense.'It'is'important'that'you'
somehow'expect'Tinder'to'be'dierent'and'beber'than'the'other'services.'You'
expect'it'to'deliver'where'no'other'service'has'delivered'before'it.
Expecta2ons'become'visible'in'communica2on,'either'implicitly'or'explicitly.'
There'are'some'very'neat'ways'to'do'this'that'will'be'enclosed'in'the'coming'
sec2ons.'But'this'is'key;'even'the'bluntest'way'of'communica2ng'your'
expecta2ons'will'be'beXer'than'not'communica2ng'expecta2ons'at'all.'Failing'
to'have'and'communicate'expecta2ons'is'one'of'the'the'reasons'why'some'
conversa2ons'become'totally'aimless'and'zzle'out.
Communica2ng'your'expecta2ons'with'others'and'communica2ng'what'they'
can'expect'in'you'can'be'referred'to'as'expecta1ons%management.'When'
mee2ng'people,'good'to'great'expecta2ons'management'will'make'your'
results'skyrocket.'This'is'some2mes'referred'to'as'game%dynamics.
We'll'go'in'depth'as'to'which'expecta2ons'you'want'to'communicate,'which'
you'want'to'totally'shy'away'from'and'for'what'reasons,'in'the'coming'
sec2ons.
It'is'a'bad'idea'to'bring'up'her'expecta2ons'to'your'brewing'rela2onship'early''
in'the'communica2on.'This'is'because'she'll'be'expected'to'say'that'she'wants'
a'steady'rela2onship,'because'she's'afraid'of'being'slut'shamed,'while'she'
really'just'wants'a'ing.'This'will'kick'in'her'need'to'be'consistent'with'this'
commitment'later,'and'she'will'feel'the'need'to'show'that'she's'in'"nd'a'
boyfriend"gmode.

98

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The'alterna2ve'to'this'is'doing'dual'communica2ons'with'ambiguity.'When'
you've'built'enough'trust,'she'll'be'happy'to'reveal'that'she's'not'really'looking'
for'a'rela2onship'right'now,'she's'rather'looking'for'something'that'might'turn%
into'a'rela2onship,'but'always'with'the'choice'of'exi2ng.

99

Leaving&on&a&high
Conversa2ons'oRen'need'to'be'opened'and'closed,'because'you'cant'simply'
talk'to'someone'forever.'A'typical'mistake'to'make'is'to'milk'the'conversa2on'
for'what'its'worth'trying'to'increase'investment'on'her'part.'All'conversa2ons'
have'their'ebbs'and'ows,'high'and'lows.'A'trick'to'strengthen'the'quality'of'
the'open'loop'introduced'by'temporarily'stopping'a'conversa2on'is'to'end%it%on%
a%high.
This'is'always'second'to'culmina2ng'the'momentum'in'a'physical'meet'or'
making'the'rela2onship'sexual,'but'some2mes'the'logis2cal'situa2on'simply'
isn't'there.'

S9gma9za9on
There'are'a'bunch'of'socially's2gma2zed'concepts'that'are'begging'to'be'used.'
This'is'extremely'obvious'on'Tinder.'In'the'2me'Ive'been'there,'Ive'seen'a'lot'
of'prole'texts'that'are'varia2ons'on'the'following:
Well lie about where we met.

There'is's2ll'a'general's2gma2za2on'of'mee2ng'on'online'da2ng'services.'Even'
if'this'is'oRen'used'humorously'and'its'becoming'less'and'less'common,'like'a'
joke'that'has'just'been'told'too'oRen,'it'is'funny'because'it'taps'into'a'real'
s2gma.'You'can'use'this.
When'talking'to'someone,'I'extremely'oRen'use'this'line,'almost'verba2m:
Im a little skeptical of talking to people on the mobile
phone for hours on end; do you want to meet up over a cup of
tea an afternoon?

The'beauty'of'this'is'that'they'are'a'liXle'skep2cal'of'using'da2ng'services'as'
well.'Its'not'exactly'the'standard'Hollywood'romance.'And'frankly,'up'un2l'
now,'it'has'been'a'liXle'lacklustre.'It'also'sets'up'a'very'eec2ve'screen.
Its'a'good'idea'to'secure'some'investment'before'pushing'for'a'meet'this'way,'
and'obviously'the'ac2vity'and'place'can'be'tweaked,'but'the'idea'is'solid,'and'
this'is'a'real'power'play.
At'2mes'youll'get'some'resistance;'I want to get to know you
better first.'But'thats'just'the'point,'you'arent'really'geQng'to'know'
each'other.'Its'just'leXers'on'a'screen.'Its'all'virtual.'This'makes'it'easy'to'
shoot'down'by'saying'just'that.
Also,'by'making'the'inten2on'to'meet'up'clear'early,'you'weed'out'people'who'
are'just'on'the'service'to'bask'in'the'glory'of'another'egogfeeding'match'frenzy,'
or'people'who'just'want'to'pass'2me'by'tex2ng'to'strangers.'Avoid'these'like'
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iGNITE

the'plague,'as'theyll'only'waste'your'2me,'unless'you'are'looking'for'the'
same,'in'which'case'you'are'was2ng'your'2me'reading'this'book.

102

Priming
Priming'is'a'powerful'concept'where'you'sow'some'seeds'for'later'reaping.'In'a'
way,'priming'is'a'sister'of'frac2ona2on,'but'it'is'usually'applied'over'2me,'and'
while'frac2ona2on'is'typically'done'to'allow'for'an'increase'in'pressure'over'
2me,'priming'is'usually'done'in'drips'to'gently'nudge'the'outcome'of'decision'
making.'
You'typically'use'priming'to'do'sexual'seeding.'This'can'be'done'both'covert'
and'overt,'and'well'look'at'some'examples'of'both.
In'a'way,'priming'can'be'looked'at'as'a'way'of'ac2vate'certain'associa2ons.'If'
you'see'a'red'apple,'you'might'think'of'the'company'apple,'New'York'City'(the'
big'apple),'a'farm'you'went'to'as'a'child,'and'so'on.
I'oRen'put'weird'sexual'objects'in'the'background'when'I'send'Snapchat'
messages.'A'girl'can'snap'a'picture'of'her'dinner,'and'I'reply'with'an'orange'on'
my'table'with'the'book'How'to'become'a'Great'Lover'in'the'background.'Its'
not'even'prominent'and'might'be'slightly'out'of'focus,'but'it'makes'a'dull'
picture'either'funny'or'sugges2ve'or'both,'depending'on'which'level'it'registers'
at.'As'with'anything,'dont'go'overboard.
A'girl'Id'been'having'sex'with'commented'on'a'y'swaXer'I'had'on'my'night'
stand.'I'had'purposefully'leR'it'there'a'couple'of'night'she'came'over'prior'to'
her'men2oning'it.'Its'not'really'a'y'swaXer'but'a'light'paddle'used'for'
disciplining'bad,'bad'girls.'This'sparked'a'conversa2on'where'she'admiXed'to'
being'turned'on'by'being'dominated'in'bed,'and'how'she'was'into'trying'it.
The'friend'zone'oRen'happens'to'people'who'don't'know'how'to'prime'their'
interac2ons'as'sexual'or'manage'communicate'in'the'slightest'that'sex'might'
happen.'You're'not'on'Tinder'to'make'friends,'nobody'is,'so'it's'actually'preXy'
hard'to'end'up'friend'zoned'on'Tinder;'everything'will'be'sexually'primed.
There'are'a'number'of'things'you'can'do'to'prime'the'interac2on'early'and'
oRen.'One'of'them'is'the'girl'code'language'covered'in'a'later'chapter.'
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iGNITE

Spreading&ac9va9on
A'lot'of'people'think'that'in'order'to'get'a'point'across,'you'need'to'do'direct'
communica2on'and'have'a'clear'message.'This'is'oRen'inferior'to'doing'
something'called'spreading&ac9va9on.'Instead'of'having'one'message'that'is'
explicit,'you'can'have'many'messages'that'build'on'each'other,'and'strengthen'
each'other'even'if'they're'not'the'same'message.
Girl'code'language'in'its'many'forms'is'a'form'of'spreading'ac2va2on'in'itself.'
Combine'it'with'momentum,'ambiguity'and'a'liXle'bit'of'well'designed'
priming,'it'won't'take'long'before'she'starts'to'get'the'message'even'if'it'hasn't'
been'communicated'explicitly.'Small'pieces'of'the'puzzle'creates'an'implicit'
message'when'combined.
Spreading'ac2va2on'works'by'bypassing'our'conscious'mind.'Our'unconscious'
mind'can't'help'but't'the'pieces'together,'however.
Spreading'ac2va2on'works'because'of'how'our'minds'are'put'together.'
Knowledge'is'stored'in'a'huge'interconnected'network.'When'some'parts'of'it'
is'ac2vated,'related'parts'also'ac2vate'automa2cally'through'priming.'

104

AZainability
AXainability'is'simple.'The'core'message'is'"be'aXainable".'Not'being'
aXainable'means'that'there'is'no'point'to'work'for'get'you.'This'is'something'
dierent'than'availability.'Always'make'sure'people'view'you'as'aXainable.'
Most'people'believe'they'can'own'a'Toyota'in'their'life2me.'Most'people'think'
that'they'can't'own'a'Ferrari'even'if'most'people'agree'that'the'Ferrari'is'
superior.'Most'people'thus'end'up'working'for'a'Toyota,'because'it'is'within'
their'grasp.'Be'a'Toyota,'not'a'Ferrari;'you'll'be'passed'over.

Availability

Availability'is'harder.'Availability'is'a'ques2on'of'logis2cs'as'well'as'perceived'
possibility'of'something'happening.'Being'overly'available'is'a'bad'thing,'being'
available'is'a'good'thing,'at'least'in'the'beginning'stages.'Your'focus'should'be'
on'mee2ng'up'with'someone,'and'this'means'that'faking'low'availability'to'
increase'perceived'value'will'just'fuck'up'something'that's'way'more'important'
than'your'perceived'value:'Your'logisi2cal'situa2on.
When'you'become'experienced'with'this,'you'might'nd'that'restric2ng'your'
availability'will'increase'your'yield,'if'not'substan2ally'but'no2ceably.'When'
you'get'there,'books'like'this'are'mostly'useless'for'you.'
For'these'reasons'I'recommend'you'working'on'having'a'logis2cal'situa2on'
where'you'actually'meet'up'for'the'foreseeable'future,'even'if'this'means'that'
you'increase'your'availability'and'perhaps'lower'your'perceived'value'ever'so'
slightly.'This'will'probably'not'have'a'no2ceable'nega2ve'eect'for'you.
If'you're'just'star2ng'out,'I'd'recommend'you'being'highly'available.'This'is'
decidedly'dierent'than'being'needy'or'pushy.'If'you're'having'a'conversa2on'
on'Tinder'and'she'hints'at'wan2ng'you'to'come'over,'just'do'it.'Don't'act'hard'
to'get.'This'kind'of'availability'is'in'many'ways'similar'to'recognizing'a'good'
opportunity'and'not'passing'it'over.

Scarcity
And'then'there's'scarcity.'Everybody'knows'that'the'laws'of'economics'dictate'
that'scarce'resources'have'higher'perceived'value.'But'doesn't'this'contradict'
being'aXainable'and'available?
Not'necessarily.
Imagine'there's'only'one'donut'leR'in'the'world.'Everybody'craves'donuts.'The'
one'leR'in'the'world'just'happens'to'be'lying'on'the'table'in'front'of'you.'It'is'
available,'it'is'aXainable'and'it'is'scarce.
I'don't'usually'play'too'much'into'scarcity,'because'it'is'very'oRen'not'needed.'
The'reason'is'that'momentum'will'always'trump'scarcity.'If'you'nd'that'you're'
having'a'hard'2me'keeping'up'momentum,'you'can'use'scarcity'to'jumpstart'
the'interac2on.'Look'at'this'example.

Focus&on&not&making&mistakes
In'general'you'want'to'focus'on'not'making'mistakes,'rather'than'focus'on'
impressing'someone.'With'a'Tinder'match'you'can'assume'that'theyre'already'
suciently'impressed'to'meet'you.'If'they'meet'you'and's2ck'around'for'a'
while,'you'can'assume'that'they'like'you'enough'for'you'to'push'forward.
This'isnt'to'say'that'you'shouldn't'u2lize'any'solid'game'you'might'have,'but'
realize'this:'If'youve'been'doing'game'for'a'while'and'dont'succeed'bedding'
women'quite'regularly,'chances'are'you'suck'at'it.'This'isnt'your'fault;'most'
mainstream%game%isnt%very%good.'
The'techniques'you'are'taught'in'this'book'are'all'bestgofgbreed'nognonsense'
stu.'S2ck'to'it'and'you'will'thrive.
Typical'ways'this'will'play'out'in'real'life'is'that'you'll'typically'work%a%lible%bit%
less.'Working&hard&to&game&someone&is&a&sign&of&having'to'work'hard.'You'
very'seldom'need'to'work'hard.
There'are'some'areas'where'it's'good'to'actually'work'a'liXle'hard,'and'the'
most'prominent'of'these'is'screening.'When'you'screen,'you'oRen'need'to'give'
o'the'impression'of'being'thorough.'To'get'a'feel'for'how'heavily'to'apply'
screening,'refer'to'the'many'examples'in'the'book.
And'obviously,'just'running'the'system'can'be'hard'work,'but'that's'not'what'I'
mean.'Don't'work'hard'to'win'someone'over.'But'do'get'up,'get'dressed'and'go'
out'to'meet'her,'even'if'it's'the'Rh'girl'this'week.

Polariza9on

Weve'talked'a'great'deal'about'polariza2on'already,'but'not'in'the'context'of'
communica2on.'This'is'an'important'dis2nc2on'to'make.'When'youre'out'on'
the'town'in'a'noisy'club,'you'can'do'a'lot'of'polariza2on'in'your'communica2on'
quickly,'and'this'will'help'you'screen'out'people'who'are'less'likely'to'come'
home'with'you'and'put'out'on'the'rst'night,'if'thats'what'youre'looking'for.
On'Tinder,'however,'in'your'communica2on'you'dont'really'need'to'polarize.'If'
youve'matched'with'someone,'you'can'put'up'a'token'challenge'as'weve'seen'
in'numerous'examples'already,'but'you'do'not'need'to'do'a'lot'of'hard'work,'
because'youre%already%in.'It'is'important'to'understand'this'because'a'match'
creates'momentum.'This'momentum'can'be'added'to'or'subtracted'to,'or'
simply'let'die'out,'malnourished.'But'polariza2on'at'this'point'is'a'preXy'heavy'
handed'tool'and'in'most'cases'you'just'need'to'gently'guide'the'direc2on'of'
the'interac2on.
You'can'look'at'polariza2on'in'the'same'context'as'overextension.'If'you'
overextend'sexually,'this'will'polarize,'so'girls'who'are'down'to'fuck'right'now'
will'jump'at'the'chance'because'of'your'availability.
If'you'have'a'setup'where'you'rou2nely'recycle'your'accounts'all'the'2me,'or'
just'simply'have'more'than'enough'matches'than'you'know'how'to'handle;'
start'polarizing.'
Repeat'polariza2on'and'overextensions'will'give'you'experience'with'them'and'
you'will'ins2nc2vely'become'beXer'at'supplying'con2ngencies'when'people'try'
to'to'shoot'you'down.'In'short:'You'get'beXer.
If'you'get'few'matches'and'just'want'to'get'in'on'the'ac2on'and'get'some'face'
2me'with'girls,'dial'the'polariza2on'down.'Your'matches'will'provide'higher'
yield'when'it'comes'to'mee2ng'up.'
Polariza2on'gives'you'results'quicker,'and'given'an'innite'amount'of'targets'
youd'polarize'heavily'all'the'2me.'Unfortunately,'there'are'not'unlimited'
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iGNITE

targets,'so'the'gradual'approach'might'be'just'what'you'need.

110

Trust

Trust'is'extremely'important,'and'we'all'know'the'word'trust,'but'it'can'be'hard'
to'understand'what'the'word'means'in'the'context'of'mee2ng'women.'Trust'is'
so'mul2faceted'that'it's'almost'pointless'to'look'at'it'as'a'single'concept.
Here'are'a'couple'of'examples.
This'is'counter'intui2ve,'but'when'a'woman'is'on'the'hunt,'she'needs'to'trust&
that&you&can&take&her&home&and&fuck&her.'If'she'picks'up'on'that'she'might'be'
was2ng'her'2me'with'you,'she'll'move'on,'and'quickly.
She'also'needs'to'know'that'you'll'fuck&her&good.'If'you're'condent'around'
women,'it'is'an'indica2on'that'they'tend'to's2ck'around'when'you'want'them'
to.'Which'can'be'an'indica2on'that'you're'good'in'bed.'
She'needs'to'trust&you'll&be&discrete.'This'means'that'she'can'do'what'she'
wants'with'you'without'fear'of'slut'shaming.'This'becomes'even'more'
important'if'it'turns'out'she's'in'a'rela2onship,'a'detail'she'might'not'want'to'
volunteer.
She'needs'to'trust&that&she'll&be&safe.'I'urge'you'to'keep'your'women'safe'and'
that'you'respect'her'wishes'and'boundaries.'Keep'in'mind'that'this'is'very'
dierent'from'libera2ng'her'from'societal'regula2ons'and'leQng'her'act'on'her'
impulses.
My'mantra'is'that'I%want%everyone%to%have%a%good%1me.'If'I'sense'she'won't,'I'
back'o.'If'I'think'she'will,'I'do'my'best'to'make'sure'we'both'enjoy'each'
other's'companies.
This'doesn't'mean'that'I'can't'be'domina2ng'and'authorita2ve.'Many'girls'get'
really'turned'on'by'this'kind'of'behavior'and'feel'liberated'by'being'bound'and'
gagged.'There'is'freedom'in'the'restric2on'of'choice,'everything'becomes'a'lot'
simpler.'But'it'needs'to'be'on'her'terms.

Simmering

Simmering'means'to'put'someone'on'the'"back'burner".''It'basically'means'
that'you'don't'ac2vely'bring'something'to'a'boil,'but'rather'keep'it'below'by'
design.
Simmering'is'good'if'you'have'periods'of'2me'where'you'just'don't'have'the'
2me'to'meet'someone,'but'you's2ll'want'to'stay'on'their'radar.
Snapchat'is'a'good'way'to'keep'a'rela2onship'simmering,'just'make'sure'it'
doesn't'take'too'much'of'your'2me,'and'have'a'realis2c'expecta2on'on'how'
much'you'get'back'for'it.'Some2mes'it's'beXer'to'let'it'freeze'and'reheat'a'
rela2onship'altogether.
You'can'also'periodically'just'ping'someone'on'Tinder'if'you'know'the'logis2cal'
situa2on'isn't'in'place'for'anything'to'happen.'Beware'of'doing'this'too'oRen,'
as'people'can'get'condi2oned'into'not'mee2ng'you.

Chunking
Chunking'is'the'art'of'composing'your'message'so'that'your'inten2on'with'it'is'
accepted.'It'is'a'liXle'bit'like'shing'in'the'sense'that'you'will'hide'the'hook'
with'a'worm.'The'sh'wants'the'worm,'so'it'will'accept'the'hook'as'part'of'the'
bargain.
Chunking'applies'to'spoken'communica2on'as'well'as'wriXen,'but'all'our'
examples'will'of'course'be'wriXen,'as'this'is'a'book'(duh).'Just'keep'it'in'mind,'
the'way'you'pace'a'conversa2on'is'also'a'form'of'chunking.
The'basic'idea'of'chunking'is'that'when'you'have'a'request'of'some'sort,'you'
package'it'up'with'a'qualifying'statement.'An'example'would'be:
"Youre fun. Lets get together and play this afternoon."

People'want'this'qualica2on.'It's'a'compliment.'Sure,'you'll'meet'people'
that'll'go'"I'm'really'not'that'fun",'and'chances'are'they're'not.'But'most'
people'will'respond'favorably'to'the'request'in'order'to'be'able'to'fully'receive'
the'compliment.
In'the'example'above,'the'compliment'will'also'be'strengthened'by'complying'
to'the'request.
If'you'nd'yourself'killing'conversa2ons,'see'if'you'have'a'chunking'problem.'Is'
the'length'of'the'sentences'the'way'they'should'be?'Do'you'package'your'
requests'with'bait?
You'don't'only'use'this'to'have'your'requests'accepted.'It'is'also'very'handy'for'
having'them'accept'your'screens.'You'could'say'something'like:
"You're a really interesting person. What did you think of
the new Anderson-movie?"

By'allowing'them'to'move'on'to'answer'the'ques2on,'your'subtle'screen'of'
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iGNITE

them'stands'uncontested.'This'is'also'a'part'of'how'you'chunk'you'sentences.
A'smart'way'to'chunk'your'messages'is'to'have'these'parts'present:

Something'it's'benecial'for'you'if'they'accept'("You're'cute.")
Something'that'makes'it'easy'for'them'to'act'on'("How'was'the'ight?")

Don't'overdo'this,'it'will'be'over'gaming.'It'is'good'to'use'this'if'there'is'
confusion'about'who'owns'the'dierent'frames'or'if'you're'unsure'of'the'
acceptance'of'a'request.

114

Inten9on
Inten2on'is'one'of'the'things'that'should'cross'cut'through'all'your'
considera2ons'in'your'communica2on.'Your'inten2on'should'always'be'to'lead'
you'both'through'your'progression'model'and'be'the'foreground'on'the'
backdrop'of'logis2cs.
Inten2on'is'strongly'coupled'to'logis2cs,'because'if'you'don't'have'logis2cs'in'
place,'your'inten2on'cannot'be'clear.
Let's'say'you're'talking'to'a'girl'who's'currently'in'your'communica2onglane'of'
funnelling,'and'you'want'to'meet'up'with'her.'Mee2ng'up'with'her'is'your'
inten2on.'However,'how'you'manifest'your'inten2on'will'obviously'change'
based'on'whether'or'not'you'have'a'clear'picture'of'when'you'are'able'to'meet'
with'her.'In'a'sense,'you'can'say'that'logis2cs'always'drive'inten2on,'and'not'
knowing'about'your'logis2cal'situa2on'will'make'it'impossible'to'have'a'clear'
inten2on.
Know'your'logis2cs,'let'it'drive'your'inten2on'and'let'your'inten2on'drive'your'
communica2on.

Taking&full&responsibility&for&the&interac9on
Have'you'ever'been'to'a'bachelor'party'where'a'group'of'friends'all'pitch'in'
with'ideas'and'resources'to'make'sure'the'groom'to'be'has'a'really'fantas2c'
night?'Where'they'take'full'responsibility'for'the'interac2on'and'outcomes'
from'beginning'to'end?
This'rarely'happens'in'a'da2ng'situa2on.'It'is'also'something'you'don't'have'to'
do'all'the'2me,'but'you'should'try'about'what'happens'when'someone'
actually'takes'full'responsibility.
We'discussed'trust,'and'how'taking'away'the'freedom'of'choice'can'be'
libera2ng.'If'you'plan'the'whole'night'for'someone,'really'go'in'and'spend'
some'energy'designing'their'experience'and'make'it'clear'to'them'that'you'
intend'to'do'so,'it'will'act'as'a'strong'liberator'in'itself.'You'are'the'captain'now,'
and'they'are'just'along'for'an'enjoyable'ride.'

Communica9on
Let's'face'is,'a'lot'of'this'is'about'communica2on.'It'is'good'to'be'someone'or'
have'something'of'value,'but'when'you'get'to'the'presenta2on'of'it'there'are'a'
lot'of'ways'to'screw'up.'
Weve'come'to'the'sec2on'where'we'go'into'concrete'techniques'to'make'all'
these'concepts'come'alive.

Rou9nes
Rou2nes'online'make'sense.'They'are'there'to'kill'entropy'and'to'make'it'
easier'for'you'to'see'paXerns'in'your'interac2on.'They'help'you'leverage'the'
experience'you'gather'in'a'shorter'2meframe,'because'if'you's2ck'to'the'same'
rou2nes,'your'experience'will'be'relevant'more'oRen.
But&won't&it&get&boring?
Short'answer:'No.'The'rou2nes'you'll'be'running'online'will'normally'take'less'
than'10'minutes.'They'will'typically'allow'you'to'deviate'from'the'script'in'a'
number'of'places.'And'also,'once'you'start'totally'nailing'the'rou2nes,'the'
concepts'you'learn'from'them'will'be'easily'transferable'to'other'
conversa2ons.
Just's2ck'to'the'rou2nes'when'you'get'started,'because'they'are'tried'and'
tested.'
But&won't&you&get&caught?
Probably'not.'But'if'you'do,'so'what?'GeQng'caught'running'any'of'these'
rou2nes'is'similar'to'geQng'caught'playing'chess'by%the%rules.'There's'nothing'
wrong'with'that.'It's'just'a'game.'She'll'understand,'because'you'really'want'
the'same'things.
Face'it,'your'life'is'packed'full'with'rou2nes'anyway,'from'the'moment'you'
wake'up'un2l'you'go'to'bed,'a'lot'of'the'stu'you'll'your'days'with'is'rou2ne.'
We're'just'going'to'exchange'some'of'the'ones'that'aren't'really'that'good'with'
some'that'are.
But&isn't&it&unethical?
Only'if'banging'some'chick'because'you'spew'o'lines'that'aren't'you'at'all'is'
somehow'unethical.'Ok,'that'came'out'wrong.'Let'me'try'again:'Only'if'you'fail'
to'make'things'your'own,'or,'in'the'process'of'learning'these'rou2nes'fail'to'
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make'internal'shiRs'that'align'you'with'them,'as'if'you'were'a'person'who'
could'actually'say'things'like'this'and'that.
But&what&if&I&cant?
You'can'always'look'at'the'rou2nes'and'see'which'concepts'they'cover.'Youre'
then'free'to'create'your'own'material'using'this'as'inspira2on'only.'If'you'
manage'to'just'adopt'the'concepts,'and'many'people'do,'skip'rou2nes'
altogether.
So&youre&saying&this&is&a&learning&tool&as&well&as&something&that&works&in&
prac9ce?
Yes,'these'are'fucking'power'plays.'They'work'in'prac2ce,'they'teach'you'
concrete'techniques,'they'have'a'high'replayability,'they'have'mul2ple'outs,'
they'have'well'dened'con2ngencies.'What'I'am'trying'to'tell'you'that'this'is'
the'bomb.
In'a'sense'you'could'say'that'these'rou2nes'are'examples'that'have'been'
tested%rigorously'and'can'be'applied%immediately'with'great%chance%of%success.'
If'you'want'to'look'at'them'only'as'examples,'youre'welcome'to'do'so.

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Ini9a9ng&conversa9ons
Ideally,'you'want'to'ini2ate'a'conversa2on'by'immediately'take'the'screening'
frame'and'create'an'open'loop.'These'two'are'your'power'arsenal'friends.'
They'will'set'her'up'to'want'to'invest,'and'while'she'does'you'can'sexualize'the'
conversa2on'and'start'working'on'logis2cs.
If'she'ini2ates'the'conversa2on,'use'these'principles'in'order:

Is'she'trying'to'make'it'easy'for'you?'Then'help'out'make'it'easy'for'both'
of'you'and'start'working'on'logis2cs.
Is'she'trying'to'screen'you?'Steal'back'the'screening'frame'if%you%nd%her%
interes1ng.

Reviving&dead&conversa9ons
Youll'end'up'with'dead'conversa2ons.'
This'is'a'fact'of'life.'A'lot'of'things'that'could'have'been'perfect'for'you'both'
are'going'to'die'out.'Some2mes'naturally,'some2mes'there'will'be'just'events'
in'life'that'prohibit'forward'momentum.'Fortunately,'most'of'the'2me'
conversa2ons'will'die'because'you'fail'to'keep'momentum.'This'is'a'good'thing'
because'it'makes'it'a'skill.'But'it'will'never'be'perfect.
This'is'why'you'want'to'know'how'to'rehydrate'a'conversa2on'that'has'gone'
dry.
Tinder'and'Snapchat'dier'hugely'in'this'respect,'and'that'is'why'they'kind'of'
complement'each'other.
See,'Tinder'is'based'on'synchronous'communica2on.'And'when'you'ask'a'
ques2on'on'Tinder,'like:
T: Hey, youre 1 mile away from me, where about in town are
you?

and'you'dont'get'a'response,'youll'soon'have'a'message'window'that'looks'
something'like'this:
T: Hey, youre 1 mile away from me, where about in town are
you?
T: I saw you at the gym before, is that you with the
butterfly tattoo?
T: Do you like big ol floppin donkey dicks? I think I saw
you in Tijuana.
T: The tickets are for 9:30, was the dinner reservations for
7 or 7:30?

In'other'words,'youre'talking'down'a'bucket'and'the'only'response'is'the'echo'
of'your'own'loneliness.
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This'is'a'very'common'situa2on'to'end'up'in,'and'to'be'honest,'not'all'
conversa2ons'can'be'successfully'revived.'Youll'see'this'more'oRen'as'you'
overextend'and'fail'to'have'the'right'con2ngencies'in'place.'They'just'lose'
interest'in'you.
This'is'the'pain'of'a'synchronous'communica2on'cycle;'if'you'dont'get'a'reply,'
its'not'easy'to'be'the'person'to'keep'the'conversa2on'going.
To'make'maXers'worse,'you'can'have'a'perfectly'good'conversa2on'going'
where'you'decide'to'meet'up'some'day,'and'when'you'try'to'regengage'the'
conversa2on'you'get'no'reply.'There'are'many'reasons'for'this.'She'might'have'
stopped'using'Tinder,'she'is'in'a'dierent'headspace,'shes'banging'some'la2no'
guy'now,'and'you'just'arent'as'hot.'Or'necessary.'
Youll'learn'the'hard'way'when'to'cut'your'losses'in'situa2ons'like'this,'and'
youll'learn'to'priori2ze'riding'the'momentum'of'a'match'all'the'way'to'a'
mee2ng.
This'problem'isnt'as'prominent'with'Snapchat'as'the'communica2on'is'
asynchronous.'If'you'send'her'20'messages'and'you'get'no'replies,'theres'no'
foul'or'harm.'If'you'totally'fail'to'capture'her'interest'with'these'messages,'she'
wont'reply.'She'probably'wont'go'through'the'trouble'of'dele2ng'you,'so'you'
can's2ll'communicate'with'her,'however.
The'fact'that'you'can'build'your'brand'over'2me'might'benet'some'people.'
All'of'a'sudden,'you'get'a'message'from'her.'It'might'be'an'obvious'group'
message,'but'it'could'also'be'a'perfect'in'to'engage'her'in'onegongone'
conversa2on.'
In'short,'Snapchat'solves'the'problem'of'matching'her'current'situa2on,'
because'she'can'latch'on'whenever'she'is'in'the'mood.'This'yougtogmany'setup'
is'very'similar'to'shing'with'a'net;'you'just'toss'it'out'there'and'see'who'
responds.'In'other'words,'Snapchat'doesnt'really'create'dead'conversa2ons'
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in'the'same'way.
Reviving'dead'conversa2ons'is'a'preXy'dicult'subject,'and'you'can'be'certain'
that'no'maXer'what'techniques'you'are'using,'it'will'be'hit'and'miss.'Here'are'
some'tried'and'tested'one'liners:
"I saw something that reminded me of you."
"The tickets are for 9PM, was the table reservation for 7PM
or 7:30PM?

They'are'in'general'a'result'of'crea2ng'powerful'open'loops,'stu'that'makes'
her'really'wrestle'with'her'curiosity.'What%did%he%see%that%reminded%him%of%me?%
Did%we%make%a%plan%to%meet?%Coming'up'with'lines'like'this'should'not'really'be'
a'challenge'for'you'if'you'know'the'principles'behind'them,'and'Google'will'
give'you'a'Metric'Fucktonne'of'them.
Some2mes'a'conversa2on'just'dies'for'no'reason.'I'some2mes'like'to'get'it'
started'back'up'by'just'commen2ng'on'that'fact.'This'is'a'form'of'meta'
communica2on.
"Hey! We lost all momentum. What about Thursday?"

If'she's'interested'in'communica2ng'with'you,'it's'oRen'best'to'just's2ck'with'
the'simple'solu2on,'and'stay'away'from'the'over'gaming.'Just'commen2ng'on'
the'fact'that'you'lost'momentum'and'pick'up'the'conversa2on'where'it'leR'of'
work'really'well.

123

Qualica9on
Weve'looked'at'qualica2on'previously.'Its'very'similar'to'screening,'it'can'
almost'be'said'to'be'two'terms'describing'the'same'thing;'to'qualify'someone'
is'one'way'to'steal'the'screening'frame.
Qualica2on'and'its'brother'disqualica2on'is'basically'saying'that'you'
approve'or'disapprove'of'something.'An'example'of'a'disqualifying'statement'
is:
"Too bad you don't like sushi, I wanted to take you to a
great new place just up the street for me."

ORen,'they'will'try'to'qualify'themselves.'The'can'respond'with'things'like:
"I've only had it once, maybe I like it now." Or
"I'm sure they serve other things, I really like miso soup."

Or
"I'm sure you can think of another good place in your
neigborhood."

Woah,'woah,'hold'your'horses.'That'last'example'isn't'her'qualifying,'it's'her'
qualifying'you.'And'before'you'know'it,'you'have'a'screening'frame'baXle'
going'in'which'the'winner'of'the'screening'frame'basically'owns'the'
conversa2on.
There'are'things'that'are'good'to'qualify'on.'Good'taste'in'clothing,'for'
example.'Pleasant'energy.'Knowing'how'to'carry'herself.
But'try'to'shy'away'from'screening'on'looks'online.'It'is'already'implied'that'
you'like'the'way'you'both'look'by'the'match.'It'is'just'simply'unnecessary.
I'was'talking'to'this'girl'who'opened'with:
H: "Who are you? Are you cool?"
T: "I'm as cool as the Fonze riding a penguin on the south

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pole. Who are you? Are you hot?"

It's'a'joke'more'than'anything,'but'it'shows'the'dynamic'of'constantly'trying'to'
steal'back'the'screening'frame'and'being'the'one'who'directs'the'conversa2on.
The'problem'with'having'the'other'person'owning'the'screening'frame'is'that'
it'is'easy'to'become'permissive.'Being'permissive'is'when'you'try'to'qualify'
yourself'for'someone.'When'you'want'them'to'think'you're'good'enough.
Qualica2on'as'statements'is'a'blunt'tool'compared'to'how'you'can'do'it'in'
person,'with'just'controlling'your'aXen2on.'But'when'you'talk'to'someone'
online'it'is'some2mes'necessary.'The'reason'you'some2mes'need'to'do'
screening'to'make'people'interested'is'that'they'are'used'to'people'over'
inves2ng'in'them'and'becoming'needy.'There'is'a'lengthy'discussion'of'this'
dynamic'in'the'screening'sec2on.'If'you'want'to'put'it'into'a'single'sentence,'
you'could'say'that'the%one%who%cares%least%about%a%rela1onship%has%the%most%
control.'Screening'doesn't'necessarily'make'you'care'less,'but'it'makes'you'
certain'that'you'invest'in'something'of'value.
When'you'start'out'screening'it'might'seem'a'liXle'strange'to'you.'I'mean,'you'
might'be'talking'to'a'super'hot'chick'who's'half'your'age'and'is'a'clone'of'the'
goddess'Aphrodite.'And'you're'telling'her'that'she'could'have'picked'a'beXer'
color'for'her'dress'as'it'doesn't'quite'complement'her'eyes.'But'this'is'what'will'
happen'naturally'when'you'start'having'more'people'interested'in'you.'You'just'
get'more'picky.
You'll'also'see'the'opposite'eect'in'play.'When'people'play'a'2ght'screening'
game,'it'just'suckers'you'in.'Pay'aXen2on'to'this'and'no2ce'the'eects.'I'met'
with'this'girl'who'was'37'years'old,'and'I'didn't'really'do'a'super'good'job.'I'felt'
preXy'good'aRer'the'meet,'but'ended'up'geQng'a'liXle'drunk'and'needy'that'
evening,'and'pushed'it'a'liXle'hard'un2l'the'conversa2on'ended'up'here:
G: I became a little insecure and had to pull away. I liked
meeting you. It was very nice. But I have to say that I doubt

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that it's going to end up being "us two".

This'is'a'preXy'hard'screen,'and'I'tried'recovering:
T: You decide. We're not going to own each other. If you're
uncertain it's better that we don't meet. I just like doing
things that are fun.

On'my'part'this'is'an'aXempt'to'screen'her'out.'It's'not'really'obvious,'but'
stealing'the'frame'at'this'level'can'be'hard.'By'reestablishing'the'meaning'of'
the'rela2onship'as'something'fun,'instead'of'something'that's'going'to'last'for'
life.'I'con2nued:
T: I just think things should be kept simple when possible.
And we should do what we choose to do. Because we want to.

This'is'an'appeal'to'simplicity,'playfulness'and'living'out'urges.'I'waited'a'
couple'of'days,'and'we're'back'in'communica2on,'talking'about'mee2ng'again.
There'is'denite'power'in'owning'the'screening'frame,'and'qualica2on'is'one'
tool'to'get'it.'Saying'things'like'"I'like'you"'is'highly'screening'and'at'the'same'
2me'a'statement'of'intent,'but'the'problem'is'that'it'is'easy'to'misinterpret'it'
as'being'needy.
When'gh2ng'for'screening'frames,'or'doing'these'kinds'of'game'in'general,'
keep'in'mind'that'it'is'fully'possible'to'feel%one%thing%and%communicate%
something%else.'You'might'be'head'over'heels'in'love'with'a'girl'and's2ll'run'
screening'game.'Because'you'know'that'it'is'going'to'make'her'invested'in'you,'
and'chances'are'you're'both'going'to'end'up'happier'because'of'it.
Some'people'go'through'years'of'rela2onship'gh2ng'for'these'power'frames,'
and'I'don't'want'that'for'you.'There'are'ways'to'escape'frame'baXles,'but'this'
is'outside'the'scope'of'this'book.

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In'short,'you'could'say'that'any'2me'you'put'up'a'challenge'for'her,'you're'
screening'her'on'the'result.
"How fast can you be here?"
"Do you know how to make cake?"
"Tell me a funny story from your childhood."

It's'important'to'understand'that'screening'and'qualica2on'isn't'necessarily'
something'you'do'jokingly'or'irta2ous.'This'is'the'real'deal,'and'it'can'be'
serious'communica2on.
It'is'sort'of'a'ip'of'a'switch,'because'when'you'qualify'someone,'you'give'
them'the'subconscious'impression'that'they'were'actually'working'to'impress'
you'in'the'rst'place.'This'creates'investment'and'emo2onal'aXachment.

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SeVng&up&a&meet

I'have'to'admit,'this'is'where'I'used'to'get'it'really%wrong.'I'used'to'think'that'I'
needed'to'spend'a'lot'of'2me'talking'to'girls'before'they'would'meet'me,'but'
given'that'you'have'a'match'and'momentum,'seQng'up'a'meet'is'really'easy.'It'
is'just'about'handling'logis2cs.'
Look'at'these'sec2ons'to'get'warmed'up,'and'check'out'some'examples:

S2gma2za2on
Logis2cs
Statement'of'intent

To'summarize'the'sec2ons'above,'I'usually'try'to's2gma2ze'chaQng'on'a'
mobile'app;'it'is'a'liXle'nerdy.'Then'I'try'to'gure'out'where'they'are'compared'
to'me.'Then'I'usually'add'a'small'statement'of'intent'once'we've'set'up'
logis2cs,'to'make'sure'we'don't'meet'with'friendship'in'mind;'it'needs'to'be'a'
decidedly'roman2c'or'even'sexual'encounter.
Again,'a'line'I'use'almost'verba2m'most'of'the'2me'is:
I'm a little skeptical of chatting for hours on end on a
mobile app with people I don't know. Do you want to meet for a
cup of tea (or beer) an afternoon?

You'might'get'objec2ons,'like'"I'd like to get to know you better

first".'To'answer'this,'just'say'that'nobody'ever'got'to'know'by'sending'each'
other'text'messages'on'a'mobile'phone.'"People get to know each other
by meeting up in person."

Example:&Helene&(23)
T: Finally! A Match with Meaning(tm).
H: Hi there! :) How are you?
T: Superb! Sitting here in the window sill working.
T: Youre quite a bit away. Where are you located?
H: Sounds really nice! Im on my way to work in the
sunshine. I live at Place A. What about you?
T: I live in Street B. Are you a lot in City C? (the city I
live)

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H: Oh! Yes, I am. I have a lot of family and friends there.

I still live at home when I have a vacation from school.
T: Ah, cool. Im a little skeptical of messaging too much on
the cell phone with people I dont know. Lets meet for a cup
of beer an afternoon youre in town.
H: Thats nothing to be skeptical of. Its more scary to
meet up with unknown people. But Im sure we can make it
happen one of these days.:)
T: Fun. :)'Decide'on'logis2cs

This'is'the'full'conversa2on.'When'your'funnel'transfer'becomes'2ght,'you'
dont'need'to'build'aXrac2on'or'comfort'to'a'large'degree,'you'just'ride'the'
momentum'of'the'matches.'If'this'doesnt'work'for'you,'you'need'to'increase'
the'investment'and'tune'your'funnel.'This'is'coming'up'in'the'next'sec2on.
For'an'example'of'how'to'knock'down'resistance,'see'this'example'
(intermediate'level).

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Crea9ve&misinterpreta9on

Crea2ve'misinterpreta2on'is'the'act'of'reac2ng'to'her'responses'in'a'way'that'
benets'you.'If'you'want'to'make'her'meet'up'with'you,'you'could'imagine'this'
conversa2on:
You: Im a little skeptical of typing on my cellphone for
hours on end with someone I don't know. You want to meet up
for a cup of tea sometime?
Her: Perhaps. I just think it's a good idea that we get to
know each other a little first.
You: I just feel I spent too much time typing away on MSN in
the old days.
Her: True dat.
You: Great, theres this new place down on the corner, it
has some awesome chai.
Her: Oh, cozy.
You: I have some time in the afternoon next week.

What'basically'happened'here'is'that'she'agreed'that'typing'on'MSN'in'the'old'
days'tended'to'be'a'waste'of'2me'with'a'lot'of'communica2on'that'went'
nowhere'in'terms'of'actually'mee2ng'people.'You're'basically'misaXribu2ng'
this'posi2vity'onto'your'original'idea'of'mee2ng'up,'and'this'will'work'
surprisingly'oRen.'
Another'example:
Her: What are your plans for this weekend?
You: I might be going to this thing tomorrow, and I think
I'm busy Sunday. But I'm sure I can squeeze you in for a glass
of beer if you want.
Her: What would be fun. I have some loose plans as well, but
let's talk tomorrow?

This'is'a'very'typical'push'where'you'misinterpret'her'asking'you'what'you'
have'planned'this'weekend'as'her'wan2ng'to'meet'you.'It'might'be'why'she'
asks,'but'don't'be'surprised'when'people'ask'ques2ons'like'this'just'to'get'a'
feel'for'what'kind'of'person'you'are.'By'crea2vely'misinterpre2ng'what'they'
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say,'you'can'push'for'a'meet'quicker.

131

Humor
Girls'oRen'type'that'they'like'"funny"'guys.'I'd'be'reluctant'to'take'things'like'
that'at'face'value,'but'there'is'a'lot'of'value'to'being'able'to'be'funny.'
Depending'on'your'style'of'game,'humor'can'be'an'ally.'
Keep'this'in'mind,'however:'Humor'can'be'used'to'safely'sexualize'anything.'
You'can'be'a'pig'as'long'as'it'is'funny.'Therefore,'it'stands'to'reason'that'every'
2me'you're'making'her'laugh'without'being'sexual,'you're'losing'an'
opportunity'to'sexualize'something.
Also,'don't'get'lost'in'humor'on'Tinder'and'Snapchat.'Save'it'for'when'you'
meet'up.'When'given'the'choice'between'being'humorous'and'maintaining'
momentum'and'working'on'logis2cs,'do'the'laXer.
If'you're'not'really'funny'(and'be'honest),'you'can'check'out'humorous'sites'
like'hXp://www.bash.org'and'binge'on'quotes'un2l'you'understand'the'
structure%and%fabric%of%humor.'You'won't'be'using'the'quotes'verba2m,'but'
aRer'a'couple'of'weeks,'the'paXern'should'emerge'where'you'can'reuse'the'
elements'of'surprise,'2ming'and'absurdity'from'pure'exposure.
Sexual'things'are'a'liXle'humorous'in'their'nature'because'they'create'tension'
and'laughter'is'a'natural'tension'release,'so'a'play'on'words'could'be'enough'
to'make'something'sexual'humorous'and'therefore'passable.
I'personally'love'all'kinds'of'humor'from'shock'value'to'the'subtle,'and'you're'
going'to'end'up'being'a'product'of'the'material'you'expose'yourself'to'and'
ul2mately'the'things'you'end'up'loving'yourself.

Girl&code&language
Because'girls'are'prone'to'slut'shaming,'theres'been'devised'a'language'built'
on'code'to'allow'you'to'communicate'things'of'a'sexual'nature'without'really'
being'sexual.'Knowing'about'this'code'language'is'extremely'valuable.'It'is'not'
an'exact'science;'elephant'doesnt'mean'lets'kiss'behind'the'bicycle'shed,'
but'there'are'some'ways'to'communicate'that'are'fairly'well'dened.
But'why,'you'might'ask,'would'you'want'to'communicate'in'code'at'all?'If'its'a'
given'that'girls'love'sex,'why'dont'you'just'go'ahead'and'communicate'directly'
about'straight'away?'There'are'a'number'of'reasons'for'this.'First,'
communica2ng'in'code'allows'you'to'gauge'their'interest'before'pushing.'In'
other'words,'it'allows'you'to'calibrate'and'increase'your'yield.'The'calibra2on'
comes'from'giving'their'an'opportunity'to'communicate'in'the'same'language'
back'and'see'if'they'some2mes'step'over'the'boundaries.'Youll'see'women'
use'the'winkgsmiley'quite'religiously'when'they'want'you'to'keep'this'line'of'
communica2on'up.'Also,'the'more'recep2ve'they'are'to'the'ideas'you'propose'
when'girl'coding,'the'more'likely'they'are'to'be'interested'in'you.
Second,'even'if'you'do'communicate'explicitly'about'sex'at'a'later'point,'and'
you'oRen'will,'leQng'them'know'that'you'know'how'to'communicate'about'it'
covertly'indicates'that'you'know'and'value'a'certain'level'of'discre2on.'Third,'
communica2ng'in'this'code'is'preXy'innocent,'so'if'it'turns'out'someone'is'not'
really'currently'that'interested,'you'can'back'out'gracefully,'and'look'at'it'as'
part'of'your'frac2ona2on'exercise.
Common'for'all'these'codes'is'that'they'can'have'a'sexual'undertone'while'
they'are'at'the'same'2me'innocent.'This'means'that'if'you'discuss'this'with'
one'girl,'she'can'tell'you'they'are'completely'innocent'while'the'next'girl'will'
say'that'everybody'knows'what'that'means.
Typically,'you'can'ask'them'to'qualify'on'these'terms'and'then'apply'gently'at'a'
later'2me'to'make'them'own'up'to'it.'For'instance,'if'shes'agreed'that'shes'
adventurous'and'you'try'to'kiss'her'and'she'shoots'you'down,'you'can'say'that'
you'thought'she'was'adventurous.'This,'again,'is'then'frac2onated'in,'so'that'
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she'can'ra2onalize'this'as'just'being'adventurous,'so'when'you'try'the'
approach'again,'shes'game.
There'are'a'number'of'words'that'describe'the'state'of'being'in'the'present.'
Being'in'the'present'means'that'you'dont'really'consider'past'or'future'
experiences.'This'also'means'that'you'discard'memories'of'bad'hookups,'and'
discard'projec2ons'of'future'consequences'of'present'hookups.
This'is'obviously'a'good'state'to'be'in,'one'where'you'can'both'enjoy'the'
moment'and'each'other.
This'state'and'the'desire'to'be'in'it'can'be'described'in'a'number'of'ways'that'
society'deems'virtuous.'One'of'these'is'adventurous.'Adventurous'means'that'
youre'willing'to'go'outside'the'box'to'get'beXer'experiences.'This'is'almost'the'
opposite'of'a'bunch'of's2gma2zed'words,'such'as'couch%potato,'lazy,'boring'
and'sebled.
Typically,'when'qualifying,'you'can'say'that'youre'looking'for'someone'whos'
not'stuck'in'front'of'the'TV'for'hours'each'day'and'who'is'open'for'some'
everyday'adventure.'Typically,'people'will'shy'away'from'the's2gma2zed'terms'
and'seek'shelter'in'the'other'camp.'When'they'do,'they'at'the'same'2me'open'
themselves'up'to'commiQng'to'this'line'of'thinking'through'commitment'and'
consistency.
Being'spontaneous'is'another'set'of'posi2vely'charged'virtues'that'allow'
people'to'act,'and'act'in'the'now.'If'a'girl'decides'to'meet'up'with'you'without'
a'lot'of'chaQng,'you'can'qualify'her'on'being'spontaneous,'and'shell'happily'
accept'this'compliment,'again'being'suscep2ble'to'commitment'and'
consistency.'Keep'in'mind'that'either'2me'she'falls'out'of'these'frames,'you'
can'remind'her'that'she'is'spontaneous,'or'that'you'though'she'was'
spontaneous'and'might'be'in'error.'In'general'this'is'an'instrument'that'is'a'
liXle'too'blunt'for'my'liking,'but'it'is'eec2ve.
Terms'used'when'you'were'innocent'children'tend'to'take'on'a'new'meaning.'
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Things'like'come&out&and&play'or'just'play'in'general'has'denite'sexual'
undertones.'Children'are'exploring'and'learning'and'look'at'the'world'with'a'
sense'of'wonder.'Grownups'tend'to'get'stuck'in'their'ways.'Coming'out'to'play'
is'then'a'way'to'try'and'recapture'the'world'through'eyes'of'a'child.
Obviously,'terms'like'plaything,'boy%toy'and'playmate%of%the%month'have'done'
their'fair'share'of'coloring'this'in'the'sexual'direc2on.'When'a'girl'asks'you'if'
you'want'to'come'out'and'play,'you'can'be'preXy'certain'that'it'has'a'sexual'
undertone.
On'the'other'hand,'you'can'inject'it'fairly'innocently'into'a'conversa2on.'You'
can'say'something'like:'How%are%we%ever%going%to%become%friends%if%you%never%
come%out%and%play?'This'has'a'wonderful'dissonance'in'it,'as'you'talk'about'
becoming'friends'and's2ll'use'fairly'sexualized'language.
This'leads'us'to'just'plain'being&playful.'Again,'not'being'playful'is'similar'to'
being'boring.'Nobody'wants'to'be'boring,'so'they'seek'to'the'other'camp.
When'people'say'that'they'enjoy&mee9ng&new&people,'it'is'a'way'of'saying'
that'they'are'outgoing.'While'not'directly'synonymous,'it'is'a'way'to'say'that'
they'enjoy'mee2ng'new'poten2al'partners.'You'can'use'this'to'communicate'
that'you'yourself'are'on'the'lookout'for'hookups.'You'can'also'force'this'frame'
on'others'because'it'has'an'eec2ve'dissonant'frame'in'being'an2'social'and'
being'unfriendly.
This'leads'us'to'another'related'topic,'namely'that'of'just'being&social.'Humans'
are'social'animals,'and'being'social'is'a'prerequisite'for'being'sexual.'Humans'
are,'of'course,'highly'sexual,'so'just'being'social'creates'a'lot'of'opportuni2es'
for'things'to'happen.
Again,'when'asking'for'meets,'prime'her'with'being'social'and'you'will'increase'
the'chances'of'her'agreeing'to'mee2ng'up'with'you.
This'extends'to'hanging&out.'Hanging'out'is'something'very'dierent'than'
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mee2ng'someone'in'a'bar'or'caf.'When'youre'hanging'out'with'your'friends,'
you'might'do'so'at'one'of'your'respec2ve'places.'If'you'tell'a'girl'you'want'to'
hang'out'without'specifying'further,'shell'understand'that'you'probably'mean'
in'an'isolated'situa2on'where'anything'can'happen.
As'Cyndi'Lauper'etched'into'our'minds:'Girls%just%want%to%have%fun.'Having&fun'
and'partying'are'are'oRen'synonymous'with'geQng'a'liXle'bit'2psy,'making'
out'with'some'hot'dude'and'occasionally'going'home'with'him.'If'a'girl'is'
telling'me'she'is'mee2ng'some'friends'at'a'bar,'I'refer'to'her'as'a'"crazy'liXle'
party'girl".
Some2mes'girls'will'catch'on'to'your'way'of'speaking,'and'because'they'feel'
comfortable'with'you,'they'will'start'speaking'to'you'directly'in'explicit'sexual'
language.'Let'them'do'this,'and'follow'suit'if'they'do.
When'talking'in'this'manner,'you'want'it'to'be'implied'what'youre'talking'
about.'But'you'always'want'there'to'be'a'layer'of'ambiguity'un2l'you're'
absolutely'certain'there's'no'way'you're'misunderstanding'each'other.
You'can'always'be'tempted'to'start'being'explicit'yourself;'this'works
some2mes.'When'it'doesnt,'it'can'be'devasta2ng,'but'it'is'a'recoverable'
overreach.'You'never'need'to'be'explicit,'but'in'terms'of'screening,'you'might'
screen'in'girls'who'are'ready'to'be'openly'sexual'and'this'will'save'you'2me.'
Again,'it'will'hurt'your'yield,'as'many'girls'need'this'part'to'be'covert.
Also,'when'you're'being'sexually'explicit,'make'sure'youre'doing'it'because'you'
are'indeed'screening.'Youll'nd'if'you'do'some'soul'searching'that'youre'
actually'being'sexually'explicit'because'you'have'a'problem'coping'with'the'
tension'that'arises'from'the'sexual'ambiguity.'When'there's'a'50/50'chance'
that'chances'might'become'sexual'with'a'girl'you're'heavily'invested'in,'you'
will'oRen'seek'to'release'the'tension.'Resist'this'tempta2on.'She'will'feel'it'too,'
and'she'will'some2mes'use'sexual'explicitness'to'release'this'tension.'When'
she'releases'tension'by'becoming'explicit,'harness'the'momentum!'This'is'
what'you've'been'wai2ng'for.
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Make'extremely'sure'youre'not'pushing'for'disambigua2on'by'making'her'
become'sexually'explicit.'This'stacks'the'deck'in'your'disfavour,'because'she'
has'the'problem'of'slut'shaming'while'shes'also'expected'to'do'the'sexual'
escala2on'work.'Again,'this'works'some2mes,'but'its'best'to'let'her'decide'for'
herself'to'lead'the'way.'Chances'are'she'will'pull'away'to'release'tension.
Heres'an'example'of'a'conversa2on'that'is'pushing'the'limits'of'when'it'comes'
to'shiRing'the'liabili2es.'I'had'met'with'this'girl'at'a'local'caf,'and'when'I'got'
home'I'ini2ated'the'following'conversa2on:
T: You're fun. Let's have a playdate someday.
H: Any games you like better than others?
T: Sure. They're not all made the same.
H: True!
H: But I was really fishing I could have said "which games
do you like better than others?"
T: We'll find something we both think is a good use of time.
H: A very politically correct answer :-)
T: :)
H: :-)
T: Do you have any favorite games yourself?
H: Yes, of course I do.
H: And it's always fun when you can play your favorite games
together.
T: Agreed! What are you up to tonight?

The'conversa2on'progresses'with'more'sexual'innuendo,'un2l'I'take'
responsibility'for'sexualizing'it'completely.'She's'given'enough'"subtle'hints"'
that'I'know'which'way'she'wants'the'interac2on'to'progress.'She's'met'with'a'
friend'and'has'been'served'an'omelet.
H: I've just been served an omelet. Filled with ham and a
lot of green vegetables.
T: Nice, sounds good.
H: Yes. But I'm pretty good at making that myself.
H: More exciting to be served something I don't usually

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make.
T: True.
T: You don't usually make me, so you know what you're being
served when you come to visit. EXCITING.
H: Comment of the day. :-D
H: But really Interesting ;-)
T: Yes. True story. Swing on by.
H: Are you inviting me on you?
T: Apparently!
H: Exciting ;-)

This'quickly'turned'into'a'really'hot'conversa2on'and'she'sent'me'nudes'on'
Snapchat'the'next'day.
As'you'can'see,'a'lot'of'these'manners'of'speaking'are'made'to'make'it'easy'to'
ra2onalize'and'get'in'the'it'just'happened'situa2on.'This'is'excellent,'of'
course.'A'lot'of'this'also'relates'to'the'whole'idea'of'not'having'any'strings'
aXached.'You'can'totally'kill'the'whole'purpose'of'any'of'these'approaches'by'
star2ng'to'become'overly'aXached,'needy'and'trying'to'frame'it'as'a'
rela2onship.
Again,'there'is'nothing'wrong'with'wan2ng'a'rela2onship,'its'just'that'for'most'
girls,'having'sex'isnt'a'big'deal.'Going'into'a'rela2onship'is.'You'just'need'to'
make'it'seem'like'it'was'a'good'idea'to'have'sex.'This'means'that'you'need'to'
give'her'some'material'that'builds'up'under'the'idea'that'she'doesnt'really'
have'to'take'responsibility.
These'methods'do'that,'as'they'blur'the'lines'between'the'sexual'and'the'
socially'accepted,'or'even'the'socially'praiseworthy.'Use'as'you'see't.
Youll'also'see'that'this'is'highly'related'to'spreading'ac2va2on'and'priming.'
You'dont'use'one'single'powerful'sentence'to'super'sexualize'things,'instead'
you'use'a'small'set'of'drips'to'make'it'OK'to'be'in'a'situa2on'that'has'a'high'
probability'to'become'sexual.

138

Ambiguity
Related'to'girl'code'language,'and'really'just'an'extension'of'it,'is'that'of'
ambiguity.'If'you'say'something'that'is'has'two'meanings,'one'innocent'and'
one'sexual,'shes'free'to'interpret'it'as'she'chooses.'Typically,'shell'pick'up'the'
sexual'meaning'but'keep'communica2on'pushing'forward'using'the'innocent'
one.'If'she'calls'you'out'on'an'ambiguity'you'can'easily'(and'some2mes'
playfully)'tell'her'to'get'her'mind'out'of'the'guXer.'Again,'this'is'a'great'way'to'
frac2onate,'create'open'loops,'investment'and'tension.

Example:&Morning&face
T:
been
E:
E:
T:
E:
head

Its cold to sleep alone in the winter. Even if this has

a very mild one.
Absolutely.
Boring that nobody can see my ugly morning mug.
I bet youre great from behind in the morning.
I choose to believe youre talking about the back of my
now, and in that case, no, it is also a catastrophe.

Meta&communica9on
Meta'communica2on'is'the'simple'act'of'communica2ng'about'the'
communica2on.'It'could'be'compared'to'a'layer'with'innite'layers,'and'
whenever'you'are'discussing'something,'you'can'always'decide'to'go'to'the'
layer'enclosing'the'current.
A'simple'example'of'this'is:
Mother: Go clean your room.
Child: You're always telling me what to do.

The'mother'simply'wants'her'ospring'to'have'a'suitable'living'environment'
but'the'child'employs'techniques'of'meta'communica2on,'challenging'her'
communica2on'itself.'In'this'case,'the'mother'can'decide'to'take'the'baXle'to'
the'next'level,'siQng'down'and'discussing'the'nature'of'their'communica2on.'
In'many'cases,'this'is'a'real'power'play,'because'refusing'to'go'"meta"'in'the'
conversa2on'will'oRen'come'o'as'socially'unintelligent.
Meta'communica2on'has'incredibly'many'uses,'from'controlling'frames'to'
remove'slut'shaming.

Canned&situa9onals
Being'able'to'create'canned'situa2onals'is'a'func2on'of'your'ability'to'see'
paXerns.'Once'you'see'a'paXern'emerge,'spend'some'extra'2me'on'it'and'see'
if'you'can'apply'some'of'the'concepts'on'a'general'basis.
These'situa2onals'are'some2mes'quite'generic,'and'well'give'you'some'
examples'of'that.'Some'will'be'specic'to'your'geographic'posi2on.
Youll'nd'that'these'canned'situa2onals'start'wri2ng'themselves'with'
experience,'but'it'can'be'good'to'sit'down'and'think'about'it'every'once'in'a'
while,'and'more'importantly,'reuse'stu'that'is'proven'to'work.
It'really'doesn't'make'any'sense'to'provide'examples'for'canned'situa2onals,'as'
they'will'depend'solely'on'the'situa2ons'you'are'in.

Open&loops
Open'loops'are'extremely'powerful'constructs,'and'if'you'learn'only'ten'things'
from'this'book,'open'loops'should'denitely'be'one'of'them.'Have'you'ever'
no2ced'the'urge'to'slap'someone'who'starts'telling'a'joke,'delivers'a'perfect'
setup,'manages'to'build'your'curiosity'and'then'goes'on'to'botch'or'even'
forget'the'punchline?
Open'loops'are'about'crea2ng'this'urge'for'closure.'It'is'easy'to'do'and'
extremely'eec2ve.'
In'many'cases,'you'start'out'as'an'open'loop.'If'a'girl'thinks'youre'cute,'she'
might'want'to'learn'more'about'you.'This'act'is,'in'itself,'one'of'trying'to'close'
a'loop.'
Opening'and'closing'loops'typically'looks'like'this:

When'she'asks'you'the'ques2on,'she's'opening'a'loop'that's'up'to'you'to'close.'
By'answering'it'straight'o'the'bat,'the'loop'is'closed.
A'very'typical'paXern'then'becomes'opening'another'loop'when'one'is'closed.

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One'open'loop'is'handed'o'by'another.'This'paXern'of'looping'is'problema2c,'
as'it'oRen'results'is'what'is'called'the%interview%trap.'The'interview'trap'is'
known'to'be'boring,'but'it's'not'the'contents'of'the'conversa2on'that'makes'it'
boring,'it'is'the'exchange'of'contents:

You'always'come'back'to'the'point'where'there'is'no'open'loop'aRer'each'
exchange,'and'both'par2cipants'in'the'conversa2on'must'ac2vely'work'to'open'
loops'all'the'2me,'or'the'conversa2on'dies'out.
The'way'to'x'this'problem'is'to'have'loops'that'you'open'that'poten2ally'
never'close.

In'this'exchange'she'can'decide'whether'to'ask'you'about'your'hobbies'or'
answer'what'she'works'with.'If'she'answers'what'she'works'with,'you'can'later'
return'to'your'hobbies.'This'loop'can'be'open'for'2'minutes'or'10'hours.'It'can'
also'stay'open'un2l'it'is'forgoXen.'What'makes'this'interes2ng,'is'that'no'
maXer'which'route'she'takes,'there'will'be'something'unknown'in'the'back'of'
your'minds'during'the'conversa2on.
If'you'look'at'it,'you'realize'that'the'conversa2on'could'have'gone'like'this,'
which'would'have'been'bad:
"What'do'you'work'with?"
"I'm'in'IT,'what'about'you?"
"I'm'a'hairdresser."
"Ah,'interes2ng.'Do'you'have'any'hobbies?"
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"Yes,'I'like'kniQng."
"Really,'really'interes2ng.'I'like'watching'my'hamsters'run'around'on'their'
wheel."
"Oh."
Our'conversa2on'is'xed'because'of'how'the'sentences'are'chunked,'not'
because'of'the'contents.'Because'we'manage'to'make'the'packages'of'
informa2on'sent'contain'more'loops'than'can'be'exchange'of'informa2on'in'its'
natural'ow'can'close.
When'you'become'good'at'controlling'the'lifespan'of'your'loops,'your'
conversa2on'will'look'more'like'this:

Some'loops'are'closed'straight'away'to'keep'momentum.'Some'loops'arch'over'
2me'and'serve'as'a'guide'in'which'direc2on'the'conversa2on'is'going'and'help'
build'investment'and'intrigue.'Some'loops'are'just'never'closed.
Having'this'kind'of'conversa2on'is'addic2ve'because'of'the'urge'to'nd'out'
about'things'you've'been'teased'with.'It'doesn't'really'maXer'what'the'content'
of'the'conversa2on'is;'with'the'suitable'amount'of'loops'open,'people'are'
hardwired'to'give'more'aXen2on'over'2me'and'therefore'invest'more.
Lets'look'at'some'examples'of'open'looping'by'design.
Her: Oh, so youre from Brooklyn. How long have you lived
there? Do you like it?
Me: I like it very much, I love the outdoors facilities. How
do you like living over the bridge?

This'might,'at'rst'glance,'seem'like'normal'conversa2on.'But'the'keen'eye'will'
no2ce'that'she'asked'two'ques2ons'and'I'only'replied'to'one'of'them'before'
moving'the'conversa2on'forward.'She'cares'enough'about'how'long'I'lived'
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iGNITE

there'to'ask'the'ques2on,'but'she'never'got'an'answer.'Joke'without'punchline.
Another'example'that'could'be'ripped'out'of'any'daily'conversa2on:
Her: Did you party this weekend?
Me: No, we just went to the movies on Sunday.

Well,'seems'like'a'normal'enough'thing'to'say,'right?'Well,'thats'just'because'
you'expect'her'to'follow'up'with'Ah,'what'did'you'see?'Who'did'you'go'with?'
Which'theatre'did'you'visit?
Her: Ah, what did you see?
Me: That new one, it premiered. It was really good. Did you
hit the clubs?

This'version'of'opening'loops'can'be'described'as'saying'things'without'really'
saying'things.'It'gives'the'illusion'of'feeding'her'informa2on,'but'youre'really'
not.'When'working'with'open'loops,'this'is'being'inten1onally%vague.
There'is'a'gradual'dial'back'of'how'much'informa2on'you'can'withdraw'when'
opening'loops.
Verbose: Me and my friend Dave drove for three hours in my
Explorer up north taking Highway 17 to go fishing on Lake
Whattafucksup.

Compared'to:
Brief: We went for a trip.

You'can'dial'this'in'anywhere'in'between.
The'problem'with'open'loops'is'that,'just'like'you'want'to'murder'people'who'
tell'you'half'a'joke,'people'will'start'to'want'to'murder'you'if'you'never'close'
any'loops.'So'what'do'you'do?'Well,'you'do'what'I'refer'to'as'an'open%loop%
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hando.'This'is'similar'to'"the'interview'trap",'but'you'use'this'on'overarching'
loops'in'addi2on'to'those'in'the'foreground.
This'basically'means'that'for'each'loop'you'close,'you'open'another'one.'It'
sounds'extremely'complex,'but'its'really'simple.
Her: So what did you do this weekend? Up to anything fun?
Me: Yes, did a lot of fun stuff! You should have been there.
What were you up to?'Open%loop:%What%fun%stu?
Her: Ah, I went to this birthday party. It was fun, a lot of
cool people. Where did you go?
Me: We were just out and about. You know, rockin the city.
Did the guest of honour manage to turn?'Open%loop:%Where%did%he%

go?!
Her: Yes, we did the song and dance. Was pretty fun. We went
to The Perverted Clover after, they had 2 shots for one.
Me: Ah, great. We considered going there but ended up at The
Buffalo Range instead. Ahah, you wont believe what happened,
I wont even tell you.'Closing%one%loop,%opening%another.
Her: Ah, that place can be fun. My friend Heather knows the
bartender there.
Me: Yeah, it was pretty wild. I met one of your friends
there, I think.'Open%another%loop.
Her: What happened!

pause
Her: AND WHO THE FUCK DID YOU MEET?

As'you'can'see,'opening'loops'and'closing'them'in'concert'helps'keep'the'
conversa2on'spiced'up.'It'is'common'for'people'with'low'tension'threshold'to'
totally'lack'the'ability'to'do'extended'open'looping.'It'also'seems'to'be'very'
hard'for'people'who'are'linear'and'logical'thinkers.'It'is'a'social'mode'of'
communica2on,'not'one'par2cularly'suited'for'problem'solving.
But'as'you'can'probably'tell,'it'glues'people'to'your'every'word'and'creates'
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investment'over'2me.
A'super'powerful'way'of'doing'open'loops'is'called&future&adventure&
projec9on.'There'was'much'talk'about'this'in'the'gaming'community'in'the'old'
days,'but'I'cant'say'that'I'really'ever'saw'anyone'u2lize'it'to'its'full'poten2al.
First'of'all,'let'me'tell'you:'Future'Adventure'Projec2on'can'be'evil,'so'use'with'
extreme'cau2on.'And'it'is'really'simple'to'use'also,'so'resist'the'tempta2on.
If'you're'talking'to'someone'who's'an'interior'decorator,'tell'her'that'you'
should'go'to'IKEA'together'so'she'can'help'you'pick'out'something'nice.'
Contrary'to'popular'belief,'you'won't'have'to'oversell'this'as'a'super'exci2ng'
adventure;'just'something'you'can'do'down'the'line.'Even'if'she'isn't'very'keen'
on'going'to'IKEA,'she'will'open'the'loop,'visualize'the'two'of'you'there'and'
have'a'need'for'closure.
Just'small'things,'like'sugges2ng'you'take'a'walk'in'a'park'she'loves,'going'to'
see'a'movie'she'nds'interes2ng,'stu'like'that.'You'might'obviously'let'her'
close'these'loops'by'taking'her'on'these'adventures,'but'if'it'doesn't'really'
work'out'between'you,'these'projec2ons'are'really'a'lot'of'the'reason'why'a'
breakup'hurts.
Interrup9ng'is'a'way'to'create'open'loops.'It'might'seem'a'liXle'unintui2ve,'
but'when'you'interrupt'someone'trying'to'say'something,'you'are'keeping'
them'away'from'the'reac2on'they'are'expec2ng'to'what'they'are'about'to'say.'
You'then'leave'them'hanging'for'as'long'as'your'interrup2on'lasts,'and'if'you'
keep'on'going'for'long'enough,'or'are'very'eager'in'changing'the'subject,'you'
basically'open'loop'them'forever.'This'is'considered'rude'behavior,'but'small'
interrup2ons'if'youre'very'interested'in'the'topic'can'be'good'as'long'as'you'
bring'the'conversa2on'back'to'where'you'went'on'a'detour'and'allow'the'
other'party'to'close'their'loops.'At'least'most'of'them.
In'the'same'vein,'not&paying&aZen9on'creates'open'loops'because'people'
cannot'get'the'reac2on'they'are'yearning'for.'
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When'somebody'asks'what'you'do'for'a'living,'they'are'so'used'to'being'asked'
the'same'ques2on'back'that'it'has'become'sort'of'a'protocol.'She'has'all'these'
mini'stories'and'canned'answers'ready'to'go.
Her: What do you work with?
You: Im a computer programmer. What about you?
Her: I'm a hair dresser.
By'not'asking'her'back,'she'll'be'ac2vely'wai2ng'to'close'the'loop'where'she'
tells'you'what'she'does:
Her: What do you work with?
You: Im a computer programmer. Did you do anything
fun this weekend?
In'this'situa2on,'her'telling'you'what'she'does'for'a'living'is'a'loop'that'she'will'
want'to'close,'if'nothing'else'out'of'habit.'This'kind'of'paXern'break'will'open'a'
lot'of'loops:

She'will'want'to'tell'you'what'she'does'for'a'living'to'gauge'your'
reac2on.
She'will'wonder'why'you'don't'care'about'her'profession.
You'will'seem'dierent'to'her,'and'she'will'try'to'gure'you'out.

Breaking'protocol'this'way'is'something'you'll'want'to'use'sparingly'because'it'
can'alienate'quickly.'But'do'experiment'with'it.
Here'are'some'classic'short'open&loop&rou9nes.'They're'provided'so'you'can'
get'a'taste'for'what'open'looping'looks'like'when'you'dis2ll'it.'I'would'probably'
not'use'them'religiously.'Not'because'they're'bad,'but'it's'beXer'to'understand'
the'concept'and'apply'it'in'a'more'organic'way.
"Guess'which'celebrity'you'look'like."
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"I'saw'something'that'reminded'me'of'you'today."
"I'love'that'thing'you'do'with'your'nose,'it's'so'cute."

149

Sexual&seeding
It's'really'helpful'for'you'to'do'sexual'seeding.'This'will'basically'give'you'
something'to'call'back'to.'Think'of'this'is'a'way'to'transi2on'into'being'sexual,'
but'instead'of'doing'this'from'nothing'you're'doing'this'from'a'solid'
founda2on.
There'are'many'ways'to'introduce'sexual'seeding.
Sexual'seeding'is'a'technique'for'doing'priming.
I'was'out'on'a'rst'date'with'a'girl,'and'I'men2oned'that'Id'been'stalked'by'
another'girl'on'Tinder,'and'I'found'the'experience'a'liXle'creepy'but's2ll'quite'
aXering.'She'went'on'to'tell'me'about'a'male'friend'of'her'that'tended'to'
spark'a'strange'behavior'in'his'women.
They'stalk'him'and'come'back'to'his'place.'They'some2mes'send'him'
drawings'and'poems.'But'they'dont'take'their'pants'o,'or'anything.
They'dont'take'their'pants'o?'Thats'just'insane.'Why'wouldnt'they'take'
their'pants'o?'They'need'to'take'their'pants'o,'its'obvious,'I'replied.
With'this'girl'I'can'use'it'as'an'eec2ve'callback.'We'need'to'meet'up'and'take'
our'pants'o.'This'sounds'like'a'constructed'example'with'low'replay'ability,'
and'it'is.'The'point'is'that'you'should'be'on'the'lookout'for'sexual'seeds'that'
are'contextual'with'a'girl'that'can'be'called'back.'You'dont'need'to'always'
have'seeds'you'create'yourself,'because'they'oRen'come'up'with'these'for'you.
When'you'reach'a'level'of'investment'that'is'high'enough,'you'can'do'very'
explicit'sexual'seeding.'The'penis'progression'is'an'example'of'such'a'seed.
I'also'oRen'send'a'picture'of'bedroom'toys'on'Snapchat'to'make'my'inten2ons'
abundantly'clear.'The'picture'is'a'nicely'arranged'setup'with'my'pillow'up'top,'
a'ball'gag,'a'paddleglike'thingie'and'a'buXplug.'I'decided'to'not'include'the'
picture'in'this'book,'but'it'is'hosted'on'the'site,'you'can'nd'a'link'to'it'in'the'
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appendix'on'resources.
It'is'obviously'highly'polarizing,'so'you'll'need'to'learn'from'experience'when'
to'reach'for'blunt'instruments'like'this.'I'use'it'sparingly,'not'because'it'doesn't'
work'quite'well,'but'because'it'sets'a'course'for'the'sexual'part'of'the'
rela2onship'which'I'm'not'always'interested'in'traveling'in.
Again,'because'expecta2ons'drive'percep2on,'you'need'to'make'sure'you'are'
at'least'a'liXle'dominant'aRer'such'a'setup,'or'you'will'fall'outside'the'
expected'experience,'and'she'will'be'let'down.'Personally,'I'don't'mind'using'
these'bedroom'toys,'but'I'like'to'have'a'natural'progression'to'it'and'push'
those'experiences'to'a'liXle'later'in'the'rela2onship.

151

Liberators
A'liberator'is'a'"free'pass"'of'sorts.'A'liberator'can'be'anything;'look'at'them'as'
reasons'to'be'able'to'do'what'you'want'to'do.'It'is'sort'of'an'instantaneous'
deprogramming'to'remove'the'hurdles'put'up'by'society.
Liberators'aren't'sugges2ons'in'the'hypno2c'sense.'Imagine'being'out'on'the'
town'with'a'buddy'and'he'buys'a'round'of'tequilas.'You'don't'really'care'for'
tequila,'because'it'makes'you'do'insane'shit'without'fail.'But'he'insists.'How'
does'he'insist?'Well,'by'and'large'he'will'use'liberators.'A'typical'conversa2on'
can'be:
"Tequila!"
"I'm'not'going'to'have'a'tequila'tonight,'I'do'stupid'things'when'I'm'tequila'
drunk."
"It's'OK,'it's'been'so'long'since'you'did'anything'stupid."
This'doesn't'make'any'logical'sense.'And'it'doesn't'have'to.'A'liberator'is'
designed'to'be'a'token'objec2on'or'a'token'reason.'They'are,'however,'
insanely'powerful.'Because'they'don't'really'necessarily'make'sense,'it'doesn't'
make'sense'to'ght'them'at'a'logical'level.'A'liberator'will'work'when'you'deep'
down'want'to'do'something,'but'you've'constructed'a'logical'reason'why'you'
shouldn't.'
Sex'happens'to'be'one'of'these'things'that'most'people'actually'want'to'do'on'
a'very'regular'basis,'but'they'have'logical'reasons'why'they'shouldn't.'This'is'
what'makes'liberators'so'eec2ve.
Here'are'some'typical'examples'of'liberators.
Her:
You:
Her:
You:
Her:
Her:

"I could offer you a glass of wine."

"Wine me, dine me, 69 me?"
"Did you just go there? Wow."
"It's an old joke. But still, it is spring."
"That's true."
;)

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In'this'example'she'asks'me'over,'she'knows'that'she'wants'something.'I'm'
asking'her'prior'to'this'snippet'what'she'wants'to'do,'and'I'feel'she's'avoiding'
the'main'reason'why'adults'ask'each'other'over.'So'I'press'her'to'commiQng'
to'oering'me'a'glass'of'wine.'Then'I'bring'up'the'natural'progression'to'
something'sexual,'which'she'needs'to'seem'dismissive'of'to'make'sure'she'
doesn't'lose'face.'Then'I'give'her'an'excuse'she'can'pass'on'if'she's'in'a'2ght'
spot,'that'it's'an'old'joke,'and'I'liberate'it'with'spring.
Spring'is'a'great'liberator'because'in'many'places'it'is'synonymous'with'plants'
and'animals'coming'to'life,'new'energy'owing'through'the'body'and'in'
general'being'horny.'I'll'leave'it'as'an'exercise'to'you'to'nd'liberators'for'all'
seasons.'Make'them'your'own.
Here'are'a'bunch'of'liberators'that'I'use'frequently.
"You are confident."'This'is'a'qualifying'liberator.'People'who'are'

condent'do'what'they'want.'People'want'sex.'This'is'also'a'powerful'frame'
installa2on.'It'will'also'frame'her'a'sexually'aggressive,'which'makes'her'do'
more'of'the'work.
"As long as everyone is having a good time."
"You're not the shy kind."'Again'a'qualifying'frame'installa2on.

Liberators'can'also'be'completely'unrelated.'This'is'an'example'of'a'
nonsensical'liberator:
"I can't fuck you again, my pussy in broken."
"It's OK; it's morning."
"OK."

In'this'simple'form,'the'paXern'"token'resistance"'countered'by'a'token'
argument'is'very'visible.'It'is'really'good'to'combine'with'a'qualica2on'
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statement:
Her: I am all in.
T: I like you. You are so open for new things.
Her: I choose to see opportunities in all situations. If you
do that you'll never have any big problems. :-)

Here'the'liberator'is'combined'with'a'compliment'which'makes'it'easier'to'
accept'the'whole'chunk'and'a'qualifying'statement'which'in'this'case'indeed'
makes'her'qualify.'This'chunk'will'also'act'as'a'primer;'"you'are'open'for'new'
things"'is'a'commitment'she'will'have'to'be'consistent'with'in'the'future.

154

Prohibitors
People'have'a'tendency'to'want'something'because'you'tell'them'they'can't'
have'it.'As'a'trigger,'you'can'refer'to'these'as'prohibitors.'You'prohibit'
something'because'you'want'them'to'start'wan2ng'it.
"I won't allow you to fall in love with me."
"Promise me you won't dream about me tonight."
"You're just a little girl, I forbid you to jump in a taxi
and come here and bone all night."

These'serve'the'same'purpose'as'a'liberator,'but'they'add'a'liXle'ounce'of'
priming'at'the'same'2me.

Sexualizing&an&interac9on&a_er&a&mee9ng
There'are'many'ways'to'sexualize'an'interac2on.'If'I've'met'with'a'girl'for'a'
date'and'I'failed'to'make'it'suciently'clear'that'I'have'a'sexual'interest'in'her,'I'
usually'ping'her'with'something'straight'out'of'the'girl'code'dic2onary.
A'typical'interac2on'can'be'something'like:
T: Did you get home safe?
H: Yes, how about you?
T: Absolutely. You're fun. Let's hang out some evening.

This'can'be'used'both'to'gauge'her'interest'and'it'helps'to'make'a'statement'of'
intent.
As'a'rule'of'thumb,'I'try'to'sexualize'an'interac2on'will'all'girls'I'meet'that'I'nd'
interes2ng'at'all,'even'if'I'feel'the'date'went'really,'really'badly.'It's'not'always'
easy'to'read'people,'and'just'by'making'a'statement'of'intent,'she'might'view'
you'in'a'dierent'light.
If'she'doesn't'answer,'let'it'go.'Wait'a'couple'of'weeks'and'try'to'revive'the'
conversa2on'if'you'must,'but'it's'probably'beXer'to'cut'your'losses'and'move'
on.
To'you,'this'might'not'seem'like'much'of'a'sexualiza2on'to'you,'but'consider'
girl'coding'and'spreading'ac2va2on,'and'you'see'that'a'liXle'goes'a'long'way.

Meta&informa9on
Well'talk'briey'about'meta'communica2on'in'a'later'sec2on,'but'here'are'
some'good'techniques'for'meta'communica2on'with'people'you'meet'from'
Tinder.
You'already'have'something'in'common,'for'sure.'You'both'use'Tinder'and/or'
Snapchat.'If'you'connected'through'Tinder,'you'should'take'the'2me'to'ask'her'
some'ques2ons'about'it.
First'of'all,'just'ask'her'in'general'about'her'experiences'using'Tinder.'Does'she'
nd'many'aXrac2ve'men'on'the'app?'Does'she'meet'up'with'many'of'them?
Tell'her'about'your'experiences'as'well.'It'might'be'a'good'idea'to'doctor'the'
truth'a'liXle'(or'a'lot)'depending'on'how'hard'youve'been'squeezing'your'
funnel.'On'the'other'hand,'it'is'a'sign'of'preselec2on'that'youve'met'a'lot'of'
people'on'here,'but'you'dont'want'to'come'o'as'if'it'is'a'full'2me'job'for'you.
Find'a'good'reason'why'you'signed'up'for'Tinder.'I'like'just'say'that'I'had'a'lot'
of'friends'talking'about'it'and'I'had'to'see'what'all'the'fuss'was'about.'It'
seemed'like'a'fun'place'to'meet'new'people'and'be'social.'Its'fun'to'be'a'liXle'
spontaneous'and'adventurous'(OK,'you'get'the'point,'youre'basically'priming'
her'with'girl'code'language).
I'like'to'tell'the'story'that'I'met'a'girl'3'hours'aRer'signing'up.''Which'is'also'a'
true'story.'I'like'to'say'that'I'meet'mainly'fun'people'on'the'service.'Its'true,'as'
Tinder'seems'to'aXract'a'lot'of'normal'people.'This'signals'mutual'
connec2on,'and'also'preselec2on.'Dont'diss'other'people'youve'met'on'the'
service.'Except'for
the'one'creepy'story.'This'is'also'a'true'story'for'me,'a'girl'I'matched'with'on'
Tinder'started'chaQng'to'me'about'having'seen'me'at'the'grocery'store.'Shes'
a'super'hot'19'year'old.'Shed'been'following'me'around'the'store,'scoping'out'
all'the'stu'I'bought.'I'found'it'a'liXle'creepy'and'a'liXle'aXering.'Hard'to'
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choose'which.
I'also'like'to'add'a'funny'story.'Many'people'would'probably'look'at'this'as'a'
classical'bragging'story,'but'its'not.'This'is'also'a'true'story,'of'course.'I'
matched'with'the'friend'of'a'girl'I'was'previously'da2ng.'I'imagined'my'ex'had'
given'me'fantas2c'reviews.'Turns'out'she'didnt'even'really'recognize'me,'so'
thats'how'much'of'an'impression'I'made'on'her.'
Its'important'to'not'tell'her'that'you'banged'all'these'chicks,'even'if'you'did.'
Resist'the'urge'to'even'hint'at'it,'and'instead'opt'for'it'was'fun'or'I'had'a'
great'2me.'You'remember'your'friend'the'open'loop?'Well,'here'it'is'again.'
The'less'she'knows'the'more'intrigued'shell'be.
This'is'also'a'clear'case'of'a'gentleman%never%tells.'Unless'you'have'a'super'
2ght'game'to'make'girls'open'up'to'you'sexually,'it'is'a'good'idea'to'
demonstrate'that'you'are'discrete.'She'can'safely'go'to'bed'with'you,'and'you'
won't'tell'random'people'you'meet'that'you've'banged'her.
All'in'all'I'recommend'you'actually'go'on'dates'and'get'stories'like'these'for'
yourself.'Again'this'will'be'part'of'the'whole'experience'thing'thats'so'
benecial.

158

Challenges
At'2mes,'girls'will'put'up'challenges'for'you.'Some'people'refer'to'this'as'shit'
tes2ng;'how'well'do'you'respond'to'the'shit'they'toss'in'your'direc2on?'There'
are'plenty'of'good'reasons'for'these'tests,'so'don't'be'surprised'or'annoyed'by'
them.'If'you'nd'that'she'is'crossing'the'line'and'becoming'uninteres2ng'to'
you,'you'can'just'screen'her'out.
Some2mes'girls'test'you'to'see'that'you'are'who'you'make'yourself'out'to'be.'
You'look'really'condent'in'your'pictures'and'in'your'online'communica2on.'So'
she'might'test'you'a'liXle'bit'when'she'meets'you'to'make'sure'it's'not'an'
illusion.
Also,'she'will'at'2mes'be'unsure'about'what'expecta2ons'you'have'for'the'
rela2onship.'Will'you'become'needy'and'try'to'trap'her'in'a'rela2onship'if'she'
goes'to'bed'with'you?'What'is'it'you'want'with'her,'exactly?
If'you'end'up'being'tested'a'lot,'make'sure'you'communicate'your'intent'more'
clearly'and'balance'her'expecta2ons.'Tests'aren't'necessarily'a'sign'that'you're'
not'good'enough,'on'the'contrary.'It'could'be'that'she's'just'making'sure'it's'a'
sound'investment.'More'oRen'than'not,'it'is'a'just'a'maXer'of'communica2on.
Some'of'these'ques2ons'will'be'legi2mate'ques2ons,'and'a'lot'of'them'pose'a'
direct'and'permanent'threat'to'your'running.'Wed'do'everyone'a'disservice'if'
we'didnt'explore'some'of'these'typical'challenges'together.
The'responses'are'not'necessarily'the'correct'answers,'but'you'should'consider'
them'and'understand'why'they'are'decent.

"Why&are&you&on&Tinder?"
"All'my'friends'were'making'a'fuss'about'it,'and'I'had'to'see'what'it'was'all'
about.'It's'fun'to'be'social'and'meet'new'people.'What'about'you?"
Do&not&bring&up&this&ques9on&unless&asked&about&it.&The'main'reason'is'that'
depending'on'where'you'are'in'your'conversa2on'she'might'feel'obliged'to'
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show'her'"good'girl"gside,'and'it'can'be'hard'to'make'her'break'out'of'it.

"Have&you&met&anyone&from&Tinder?"
"I'actually'met'a'girl'the'same'day'I'signed'up.'I'thought'it'was'the'right'thing'
to'do.'I've'been'a'liXle'more'reluctant'since.'It's'not'always'people'are'the'
same'in'person'as'they'are'on'the'phone."
This'is'an'interes2ng'ques2on'in'many'ways,'and'you'can'ask'it'back.'You'can'
take'this'discussion'many'places,'like'what'it's'like'for'a'girl'trying'to'meet'
people'in'the'city'you're'in.

"What&are&you&looking&for?"
"I'm'just'here'to'be'social.'I'mean,'if'you'meet'the'right'person,'who'knows'
what'could'happen?'But'I'm'just'looking'to'have'some'fun'rst,'enjoy'myself."
Do'not'ask'this'ques2on'yourself,'but'bounce'it'back'when'you'have'provided'
her'with'your'answer.'It'will'make'it'easy'for'her'to'say'that'she'feels'the'same'
way,'and'you've'essen2ally'helped'her'with'some'libera2on.

160

Scripts
Scripts'are'taking'rou2nes'a'step'further.'Again,'you'can'look'at'these'scripts'as'
being'examples'only,'but'these'can'be'run'preXy'much'verba2m'with'an'
expecta2on'of'success.'Theyre'here'to'give'you'the'op2on'of'following'them'
or'to'illustrate'how'the'dierent'concepts'2e'together.
When'you'get'beXer'and'you'get'exposed'to'how'interac2ons'online'unfold,'
you'can'drop'these'completely.'These'days'I'mainly'focus'on'knocking'down'
two'or'three'hurdles'and'working'on'logis2cs.

The&Test
The'test'is'a'well'tested'script'that'is'simple'to'follow'from'absolute'beginning'
to'meet'and'it'has'a'fairly'high'success'rate.'The'secret'to'its'success'is'basically'
to'create'investment'and'open'loops.'It'has'a'small'amount'of'sexualiza2on'in'
it.
This'was'the'rst'script'I'started'out'with'that'I'was'reasonably'successful'with.'
I'do'not'know'its'original'origin,'but'it'was'not'invented'here.'So'kudos'to'
whoever'came'up'with'it.
Opening:'Are'you'ready'for'your'test,'Name?
Get'her'to'say'yes'somehow,'this'is'usually'easy.'Most'reply'"Go'ahead!",'
"Always'ready!",'"What'kind'of'test?".'
Then'you'ask'her'to'pick'a'preference'from'a'number'of'op2ons.'My'stack'is'
preXy'simple.'

Do'you'prefer'red'or'white'wine?
Choose'between'a'walk'in'the'park'and'going'to'the'cinema.
Steak,'Italian,'Chinese,'Indian'or'sushi?
Are'you'liXle'or'big'spoon?
What'are'three'good'books'you've'read'lately?
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Every'2me'she'answers,'you'decide'whether'you'comment'on'her'response'or'
just'move'on'to'the'next'ques2on.'If'you'nd'her'response'interes2ng,'by'all'
means,'engage'in'normal'conversa2on.'You'can'always'return'to'the'test'at'a'
later'point.'Just'make'sure'you'don't'end'up'chaNng%too%much.
An'alterna2ve'is'to'make'your'exchanges'like'this:
You: Choose between a walk in the park and going to the
cinema.
Her: Walk in the park.
You: Sporty! Steak, Italian, Chinese, Indian or sushi?

I'usually'like'to'clarify'at'some'point'where'in'the'city'they'are,'I'just'ask'
"Where'about'in'the'city'are'you?".'This'might't'nicely'into'the'habit'of'
answering'ques2ons,'so'it'could'be'"part'of'the'test".
The'good'thing'about'running'this'script'mul2ple'2mes'is'that'you'become'
familiar'with'the'responses.'You'come'up'with'funny'ways'to'drive'the'
interac2on'forward'even'when'she'tries'to'grind'it'to'a'halt.'It's'easy'to'map'
out'these'things,'and'the'script'is'very'consistent'in'crea2ng'investment.
I'would'top'it'o'with'a's2gma2za2on'to'logis2cs.
See'an'example'of'running'this'script'here:'Example.

More&scripts?
No.'And'theres'a'reason'for'it.
Its'not'bad'to'rely'on'scripts'as'a'learning'and'calibra2on'tool.'It'is,'however,'
bad'to'be'in'a'situa2on'where'you'need'to'constantly'game'girls'online.'This'is'
a'sign'of'a'sloppy'funnel,'and'well'look'at'this'in'a'later'sec2on'when'we'get'to'
intermediate'game.'There'I'will'present'something'that'looks'a'lot'like'a'more'
sophis2cated'script,'but'the'format'is'looser.'But'dont'skip'ahead'quite'yet,'
and'do'try'out'The%Test.
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Also,'you'should'be'able'to'compose'perfectly'good'script'using'the'techniques'
and'concepts'on'your'own'if'you'need'to.'But'the'sooner'you'understand'that'
this'isnt'about'what'you'say'but'rather'about'funnel'transfer'the'beXer.

163

Rapport
Rapport'is'when'you're'communica2ng'to'someone,'and'you'feel'on'the'same'
wavelength;'that'the'interac2on'just'clicks,'you're'synchronized'somehow.
It'might'seems'strange'to'discuss'rapport'online,'but'trust'me,'it'is'not.'How'
you'communicate'online'can'create'the'illusion'of'immediate'connec2on'and'
understanding.'This'is'as'simple'as'crea2ng'rapport'in'real'life,'maybe'even'so,'
because'it'can'all'be'calculated,'whereas'in'real'life'it'will'be'somewhat'reliant'
on'factors'that'are'harder'to'control.
You'might'have'been'told'to'spice'up'your'conversa2ons'using'smileys,&
emo2cons'or'emojis.'Don't'do'this.'Do'not'ever'do'this,'unless'she%does%it%rst.'
Some'girls'hate'smileys'with'a'passion,'and'with'good'reason.'You'might'think'
that'your'smileys'convey'some'sort'of'enigma,'but'oRen'it'just'communicates'a'
low'tension'threshold.'Like'that'guy'who'tries'to'be'edgy'but'can't'stand'the'
tension'created'by'his'own'ac2on'so'he'needs'to'constantly'sprinkle'in'"just'
kidding"'to'deate.
Do'not'use'substan2ally'more'smileys'than'her.'Try'to's2ck'with'the'same'
smileys'as'her.'You'might'have'found'an'approach'to'using'smileys'aRer'years'
of'online'presence,'so'I'won't'preach,'but'here'are'my%personal%rules%and%
preferences:
Never'ever'use'these'smileys:'
;)
:P

You'don't'need'to'exactly'mirror'a':g)'you'can'use'these'instead:
:)
8)

I'personally'prefer'going'without'the'nose,'it'looks'like'your'grandma'is'smileyg
ing.

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Try'to'use'the'same&kind&of&language.'If'she'seems'like'a'well'educated'
woman,'scale'your'vocabulary'up.'Try'to'match'her'level.'Do'mind'your'spelling'
and'punctua2on.'Some'gurus'will'say'that'typing'correctly'is'try%hard,'but'the'
truth'is'that'bad'spelling'and'punctua2on'is'a'point'of'polariza2on,'and'you'
never'ever'lost'a'girl'because'your'spelling'was'too'good.'Believing'this'is'
idiocy.
Try'to'organise'your'texts'into'roughly'the'same'chunk&size'as'her.'Some'people'
will'say'that'you'should'try'to'write'a'liXle'less'than'her'because'you'seem'to'
be'inves2ng'less,'but'it's'not'as'important'as'matching'the'rough'chunk'size.'If'
she'is'wri2ng'a%lot,'write'less.
Also,'your'messages'should'come'at'roughly'the'same'frequency.'If'you're'
constantly'typing'two'sentences'for'her'every'one,'you're'doing'something'
wrong.'If'she'is'wri2ng'really%quickly,'write'more'slowly.
In'the'old'days'I'would'some2mes'try'to'create'a'false'delay'on'my'answers'to'
match'her'wri2ng'speed'to'create'rapport.'I'was'told'this'also'made'me'seem'
busy'and'important.'This'works'to'a'degree,'but'I've'come'to'favor'building'and'
keeping'momentum'over'rapport'and'the'illusion'of'grandeur.'Feel'free'to'
experiment'with'this.

165

Pacing
When'it'comes'to'online'communica2on,'pacing'is'key.'It'is'incredibly'
important'because'it'communicates'so'incredibly'much.'As'they'say'in'NLP,'it%is%
impossible%to%not%communicate.'Total'silence'can'communicate'just'as'much'as'
the'loudest'shout.
Silence&and&pausing&is&really&powerful.'If'you'say'something'that's'an'obvious'
overextension'and'you'in'hindsight'understand'that'it's'not'going'to'be'well'
received'on'the'other'end,'wait%it%out.'I'have'no'idea'how'many'2mes'I've'said'
something'overly'sexual'only'to'regret'it,'but'when'I's2ck'to'this'rule,'I'm'
consistently'surprised'at'how'well'it'is'received'because'of'the'vacuum'of'
silence'that'is'created.'This'is'a'game'where'if'you'speak'rst,'you'lose.'And'
extremely'oRen,'she'll'cave'in'and'laugh,'or'just'be'plain'amazed'at'how'direct'
you'are.'
This%can%take%hours%and%days.'I'm'not'talking'about'wai2ng'for've'minutes,'I'm'
talking'about'wai2ng'at%least%a%couple%of%days.
The'absolute'worst'thing'to'do'in'this'situa2on'is'to'try'to'remedy'the'situa2on'
by'doing'an'adjustment.'"That'was'silly'of'me",'"I'shouldn't'have'said'that",'
"I'm'just'kidding".'These'are'the'marks'of'the'true'amateur,'and'once'you'even'
try'to'do'any'of'that'shit,'you'will'have'lost.'Do'not'be'the'one'to'break'the'
silence'aRer'a'high'tension'move.
If'she'doesn't'answer,'try'again'in'a'couple'of'days.'Start'up'a'completely'
dierent'conversa2on'with'the'same'person.'
Avoid&silence&rage.'If'she'doesn't'respond'to'you,'it's'OK.'If'this'consistently'
enrages'you,'you'should'stay'away'from'online'communica2ons'altogether,'
because'it'will'happen'to'you.
It'is'completely'possible'to'condi2on'yourself'to'stop'raging.'A'good'technique'
is'to're'and'forget,'meaning'that'you're'o'a'message'and'minimize'the'
window'and'work'with'something'else.'You'will'obviously'return'to'the'app'in'
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iGNITE

not'too'long,'because'you'dont'want'to'kill'your'momentum.'
Abundance'is'also'going'to'help'you'get'over'silence'rage.'When'you'have'
more'matches,'you'simply'wont'have'the'reason'or'2me'to'care'as'much.
Silence&is&a&tool&to&build&tension.'If'she'is'invested'in'you,'silence'will'make'her'
uncertain.'Tension'is'a'func2on'of'investment'and'uncertainty.'She'will'break'
the'tension'when'it'reaches'her'threshold.
ORen2mes'when'you'deploy'the'techniques'in'this'book,'youll'see'her'star2ng'
to'use'winky&smileys.'This'is'very'oRen'her'trying%to%pace%you.'If'she'does'this'
in'direct'response'to'something'you'say,'you'can'safely'escalate'the'
conversa2on.'

Example:&Geraldine&(35)
G: Hi there :-)
T: Hellohello.
T: Where you at?
G: Name of street. You?
T: Name of neighboring city.
T: Its going to be difficult. Unless youre here quite
often.
G: I am really not.
T: Ok. Let me know if you decide to take the trip.
G: I will. I have a lot of family in town. :-)
T: Good. Youre cute.
G: Thank you very much! You look good yourself. ;-)

From'here'I'went'straight'to'the'penis'progression,'and'she'is'currently'eagerly'
sending'me'nudes'and'planning'her'trip'over.'This'is'an'interes2ng'example,'
because'you'can'see'her'ini2a2ng'me'and'scoping'out'the'logis2cal'situa2on'
right'away,'much'in'the'way'I'oRen2mes'do'myself.'Im'also'making'myself'
scarce'quite'early.

167

Best&9me&for&communica9on
I'usually'communicate'on'Tinder'during'the'waking'hours'of'the'day.'If'I'intend'
to'meet'someone'at'a'club,'I'talk'to'them'when'they're'usually'at'a'warmupg
party.'I'try'not'to'send'sexually'loaded'messages'at'night.
If'you'just'think'about'what'it'communicates'when'you'send'messages'at'odd'
hours,'you'll'probably'be'OK.'I've'seen'many'people'have'dierent'takes'on'
this,'and'I'think'there'might'be'no'"right"'answer.'Sending'drunken'messages'
on'Saturday'night'will'be'polarizing'like'a'lot'of'other'things.'Just'have'a'
conscious'rela2onship'to'it.

Blocking&and&being&blocked
You're'going'to'get'blocked.'You'can'either'be'a'man'and'just'suck'it'up,'or'you'
can'ra2onalize'that'the'person'probably'deleted'their'Tinder'prole'by'
accident,'and'that'they'regret'it'and'are'madly'in'love'with'you.'Both'are'
approximately'equally'likely.
I'personally'don't'block'that'oRen,'as'I'use'my'number'of'matches'as'a'
benchmark'for'how'my'prole'is'doing.'I'occasionally'block'male'proles,'but'
not'religiously.

Mistakes
Weve'talked'about'polariza2on'and'improving,'and'how'these'are'dierent'
things.'It'doesnt'make'sense'to'not'also'talk'a'liXle'bit'about'things'that'are'
almost'always%wrong.'
The'rst'mistake'you'can'do'on'Tinder'is'to'not&make&contact.'Depending'on'
how'many'matches'you'get,'it'can'either'be'a'burden'to'contact'someone'
because'you'have'too'many.'It'can'also'be'a'burden'because'you're'afraid'to'
burn'a'cute'match.
When'you'chat'with'someone'online,'its'quite'common'to'start'shing&for&
commonali9es.'This'will'create'the'illusion'of'investment,'but'it'wont'really'be'
an'investment.'
Fishing'for'commonali2es'is'mostly'a'bad'thing.'Its'not'bad'to'have'similar'
interests'and'discuss'them,'but'dont'go'probing'for'them'online.'This'is'
something'thats'way'beXer'to'do'when'you'meet'in'real'life,'and'the'more'of'
this'probing'youve'done'online,'the'less'youll'have'to'explore'when'you'meet.'
It'will'just'feel'like'a'rehash,'and'youve'really'just'burned'a'lot'of'topics'that'
you'could'enjoy'discussing'facegtogface.
On'Tinder'you'dont'need'any'commonali2es'to'meet,'except'the'fact'that'you'
like'each'other'and'matched.'The'less'you'communicate'online'before'mee2ng'
the'beXer,'because'youll'have'an'easier'2me'closing'the'gap'between'
prospect'(your'online'persona)'and'product'(you'in'real'life).
Keep'in'mind'that'the'more'she'knows'about'you'before'you'meet,'the'less'
mys2que'there'will'be'and'also'less'tension.'Just'make'her'feel'invested'
enough'to'meet'you,'don't'make'her'overinvest.
Also,'try'not'to'be'self&depreca9ng.'There'is'a'tendency'to'self'deprecate'if'you'
have'a'low'tension'threshold,'if'you'feel'she's'overinves2ng'in'you'because'of'
something'you'haven't'deserved.'Self'depreca2on'is'a'typical'tension'release'
mechanism,'and'it's'really'bad.'Start'no2cing'when'you'self'deprecate'and'try'
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to'replace'the'behavior'with'something'more'meaningful.'When'you'feel'the'
need'for'self'depreca2on'rising,'try'and'swap'it'out'for'a'nonchalant'shrug.'Self'
depreca2on'is'one'of'those'things'that'will'probably'disappear'with'
abundance,'but'it's'helpful'to'know'about'it'so'it's'easier'to'target.
Try'not'to'embellish.'You'are'who'you'are'and'your'accomplishments'are'what'
they'are.'It'is'beXer'to'undersell'something'than'to'oversell'it.'Why?'Well,'we'
have'spoken'about'it'many'2mes'before,'but'let's'go'again.'If'you'try'to'sell'
something,'it'gives'the'impression'that'it'needs'selling.'Speak'of'your'
accomplishments'maXergofgfactly'and'it's'beXer'to'cut'it'short'than'be'overly'
verbose.
The'most'important'thing'about'making'mistakes'is'that'you'don't&be&sad.'And'
I'don't'mean'that'you'need'to'walk'around'always'being'happy,'your'mood'is'
what'it'is.'But'don't'let'the'fact'that'you'actually'do'make'mistakes,'and'you'
will,'bring'you'down.'Sooner'or'later'you'll'get'the'number'for'a'girl'who's'
super'hot,'at'least'in'the'pictures,'and'you'll'get'drunk'and'call'her,'burning'
that'prospect'forever.
This'happens'to'everyone.'I'personally'have'an'almost'chronic'condi2on'where'
I'get'drunk'and'profess'my'undying'love'to'girls.'And'I'do,'right'then,'of'course,'
love'them'with'all'of'my'drunken'heart.'I'know'that'the'act'I'm'about'to'do'is'
needy.'I's2ll'do'it.'But'I've'stopped'being'sad%about%it.
What'kind'of'mistakes'you'do'is'up'to'you.'But'use'your'ability'for'20/20'
hindsight'to'use'it'as'a'learning'experience.'Journal'it.'Discuss'it'with'the'
people'in'your'group.

Self&sabotage
Unfortunately,'most'of'us'aren't'really'that'used'to'success,'nor'the'road'to'it.'
When'we'get'closer'to'it,'we'have'a'tendency'to'sabotage'ourselves.
One'of'the'main'reasons'for'this'sabotage'is'that'the'tension&becomes&too&
high,'and'surpasses'our'threshold.'When'this'happens,'we'start'to'panic,'
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looking'for'a'way'to'release'the'tension.'Typically,'if'you're'not'used'to'
succeeding'and'it'starts'to'look'like'you'might,'you'will'ac2vely'lower'your'own'
chances'at'it.'This'is'a'way'to'release'tension,'because'tension'is'higher'when'
there'is'a'50/50'chance'of'geQng'the'desired'outcome.
You'will'also'nd'that'you've'oRen'already'sabotaged'yourself'logis2cally.'
Perhaps'you'didn't'bother'to'clean'your'room,'and'there's'no'way'you're'even'
going'to'show'that'mess'to'your'dream'girl.'This'is'also'a'func2on'of'tension,'
because'you're'keeping'the'likelihood'of'you'hooking'up'low.'
This'can'be'traced'back'to'a'feeling'of'self'worth'and'deservedness'issues.'The'
problems'can'be'shallow'or'deep,'but'they'are'outside'the'scope'of'the'book'
to'x.'Some'of'the'techniques'discussed'do'apply'to'it'in'a'general'manner,'
however.
The'good'news'is'that'your'tension'threshold'is'going'to'rise'with'experience'
and'exposure.'It'will'also'rise'with'your'feeling'of'abundance.'But'keep'in'mind'
that'these'things'are'very'real,'and'if'you'nd'them'hampering'you'
consistently,'look'outside'of'this'book'for'help.

172

Funnelling
Now'that'we'have'this'understanding'of'how'communica2on'is'done,'we'need'
to'put'this'into'a'larger'system,'namely'the%funnel.'Funnelling'your'prospects'
will'allow'you'to'dras2cally'increase'your'yield'for'a'number'of'reasons.
The'rst'is'that'you'capture'all'prospects'into'one'system.'This'means'that'you'
set'up'a'funnel'and'insert'your'prospects'that'are'interes2ng.'Get'your'
matches'from'Tinder,'people'you'have'a'connec2on'with'on'Snapchat,'
numbers'you'get'in'the'clubs'and'throw'it'all'into'your'funnel.'
Funnelling'allows'you'to'easily'see'where'you'suck,'in'other'words,'it'allows'
you'to'understand'where'your'game'needs'work'and'why'youre'losing'
prospects.'This'is'incredibly'important,'because'if'you'dont'know'what'youre'
doing'wrong,'how'would'you'ever'go'about'trying'to'correct'it?
Funnelling'also'allows'you'to'gauge'which'technique'to'use'when.'The'main'
reason'for'using'the'exact'funnel'Im'using'when'you'start'out,'is'that'I'have'
annotated'the'dierent'lanes'with'dierent'techniques.'In'other'words,'it'
serves'as'a'roadmap'thats'easy'to'follow.'Did'you'just'match'with'someone'
from'Tinder?'Great,'toss'her'into'the'prospectsglane.'Want'to'start'your'
conversa2on?'Great,'look'at'the'descrip2on'of'the'prospects'lane'to'
understand'how'to'get'started.'Conversa2on'going'good?'Superb,'look'in'the'
communica2ons'lane'and'see'how'to'propose'a'meet?'Shes'stopped'
responding?'Sucks'to'be'you,'but'just'toss'her'into'the'staleglane'and'read'its'
descrip2on'to'understand'how'to'revive'the'conversa2on.'And'so'on.
The'concepts'and'techniques'we'have'discussed'previously'are'all'excellent.'
But'they'are'nuts'and'bolts.'Funnelling,'like'the'assembly'instruc2ons'on'an'
IKEA'wardrobe,'sheds'light'on'how'these'nuts'and'bolts't'together.'It'helps'
with'the'sequencing'of'techniques.'It'helps'with'the'2ming'of'techniques.'It'
helps'with'con2ngencies.'It'helps'you'understand'how'the'whole%process%of%
seduc1on%plays%out.'And'nally,'it'helps'to'give'you'concrete'experience'in'the'
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things'you'actually'need'the'most.

174

SeVng&up&a&funnel
You'need'to'technically'set'up'a'system'to'handle'your'funnelling'needs.'My'
personal'favourite'for'this'is'Trello,'and'thats'the'system'Ill'be'using'for'my'
examples.'Youll'nd'other'systems'that'do'the'same,'but'Trello'is'free,'fully'
featured'and'preXy'awesome.

A%typical%Trello%funnel,%here%shown%with%dierent%s1ckers.
The'main'features'needed'from'a'funnelling'system'is'that'you'can'add'work'
items'(in'this'case,'girls)'into'dierent'categories'or'lists'or'lanes.'These'lanes'
describe'the'dierent'states'a'girl'can'be'in'at'any'given'2me.
These'are'the'lanes'you'are'recommended'to'start'out'with'(from'leR'to'right):

Backlog
Problema2c
Stale
Prospect
Communica2on
Loose'mee2ng
Met
Date
Done
Stable

Depending'on'which'lane'a'girl'is'in,'you'will'deploy'dierent'tac2cs.
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Ill'present'a'fully'working'system'thats'good'for'star2ng'out,'and'also'
recommend'some'tweaks'you'can'do'to'it'if'you'feel'it'makes'sense.
Now,'sor2ng'the'girls'into'these'dierent'lanes'can'some2mes'be'not'self'
explanatory.'If'youre'ever'in'doubt'which'lane'a'girl'belongs'in,'try'turning'it'
around:'Given'her'current'state,'which'tac2c'is'beXer'to'employ?'Then,'put'her'
in'the'lane'that'recommends'that'tac2c.'
A'concrete'example'of'this'might'be'that'youve'actually'met'a'girl'but'the'
communica2on'has'dried'out.'Do'you'keep'her'in'the'Metglane,'or'do'you'
move'her'to'the'Staleglane?'It'depends'on'whether'you'personally'think'the'
tac2cs'recommended'in'the'Metglane'apply'more'than'the'tac2cs'
recommended'in'the'Staleglane.'Most'of'the'2me,'however,'it'will'be'
extremely'clear'where'a'prospect'belongs.
When'adding'girls'to'your'lanes,'decide'how'you'priori2ze'them.'There'are'
many'sensible'ways'to'priori2ze,'just'decide'on'one'and's2ck'to'it.'I'priori2ze'
by'how'much%I%want%them,'meaning'that'I'sort'the'girls'I'like'the'best'the'
highest.'To'you'it'might'be'sensible'to'sort'it'by'who'requires'the'next'ac2on'
on'your'behalf.'The'important'part'here'is'that'you'decide'on'a'system'and'sort'
all'lanes'uniformly,'as'this'will'make'it'easier'to'maintain'the'system'over'2me.
While'Trello'is'a'preXy'great'tool,'is'has'some'shortcomings.'Some'of'these'can'
be'remedied'using'extensions'for'your'web'browser.'You'can'do'some'research'
on'your'own'to'see'how'these'extensions'can'make'your'life'beXer,'but'one'
youll'probably'want'to'have'from'day'one'is'the'extension'that'shows'you'how'
many'items'are'in'each'list.
For'Google'Chrome,'this'extension'is'called'Trello'List'Count.
Other'extensions'will'allow'you'to'do'things'like'export'to'Excel,'do'color'
coding'and'so'on.'Check'it'out.

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Tinder'has'the'concept'of'lists'built'in,'and'you'can'use'it'to'do'your'funnelling.'
It'is'not'ideal,'as'the'list'system'isn't'very'good,'and'capturing'data'into'Trello'
allows'you'to'consolidate'data'from'mul2ple'sources'in'a'more'cohesive'
manner.
I'personally'don't'use'the'lists,'but'it's'good'to'know'they'exist;'perhaps'they'
work'perfectly'for'you.'Keep'in'mind'that'a'list'can'be'used'for'other'things'
than'funnelling.'If'you'travel'between'ci2es,'for'instance,'you'could'capture'
some'of'these'cross'cuQng'concerns'with'Tinder'lists.
If'youre'using'auto'clicker'and'youre'on'the'go,'it'can'actually'be'a'good'idea'
to'create'one'single'Tinder'list'that'you'promote'your'interes2ng'matches'to.'It'
provides'rudimentary'ltering'and'is'actually'very'helpful.
For'me'it'seems'that'anything'more'advanced'than'this'is'unsuitable'for'Tinder'
lists,'but'again;'it'might'be'perfectly'suited'for'your'needs.'Try'them'out!

177

Why&you&funnel
As'you'start'feeding'your'funnel'with'prospects,'you'can'at'a'glance'see'a'
number'of'things.
There'are'many'benets'to'doing'funnelling,'and'part'of'this'boils'down'to'
pure'data'management.'When'you'have'500'matches'on'Tinder,'how'are'you'
supposed'to'be'able'to'care'for'all'of'them'using'the'mediocre'tools'that'the'
Tinder'app'provides?
Also,'how'are'you'supposed'to'remember'who'is'interested'in'mee2ng'with'
you?'Who'you'need'to'chat'with'some'more?'Who'is'in'town'and'who's'not?
It'just'becomes'unbearable'to'actually'handle'that'amount'of'data.
Given'the'current'set'of'prospects'in'the'funnel,'who'do'you'focus&on&next?'
Ideally,'you'can'work'all'funnels'from'the'top'down,'and'move'the'girls'you'
nd'the'cutest'up'top.
Also,'looking'at'the'dierent'funnels,'it'should'be'fairly'simple'to'decide'what&
to&do.'The'balance'of'the'lanes'will'tell'you'where'you're'lagging'behind'and'
where'you'keep'making'mistakes.

The&stages&of&the&funnel
Lets'look'at'the'stages'of'funnelling.'As'I'men2oned,'these'can'obviously'be'
tailored'to'your'needs,'but'before'you'do'any'tailoring,'check'out'this'
recommended'star2ng'point.'Also,'it'is'important'to'understand'that'the'
funnel'can'be'easily'adjusted'on'the'y,'so'theres'no'need'to'worry'about'
commiQng'to'something'that'doesnt'work.

Prospects
A'prospect'is'someone'you'have'a'line'of'communica2on'to'and'you'nd'
interes2ng.'Typical'prospects'are'Tinder'matches'and'Snapchat'contacts.'If'you'
decide'to'apply'this'system'for'other'media'(and'theres'no'reason'not'to),'it'
could'also'include'girls'whos'phone'number'youve'goXen'in'a'club'or'
someone'you'meet'regularly'in'other'arenas.
The'purpose'of'having'a'prospectsglane'is'that'you'want'them'to'meet'up'in'
the'real'world.'This'means'that'you'wait'with'building'momentum'with'these'
people'un2l'you'know'when'you'have'the'opportunity'to'meet'up.'If'your'
calendar'is'jam'packed'next'week,'wait.'If'you're'going'on'a'two'week'vaca2on,'
just'wait.'Failure'to'to'capitalize'on'momentum'is'seQng'the'interac2on'up'for'
failure.
The'only'sensible'progression'from'prospect'is'to'communica9on,'and'to'make'
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this'progression'check'out'the'ini9a9on'sec2on'of'the'techniques.

Stale
Stale'prospects'are'people'you'have'had'communica2ons'with,'but'its'been'a'
while,'and'its'hard'to'gauge'whether'theres'something'there.'
You'want'to'get'stale'prospects'to'the'communica9onglane,'and'to'do'this,'
check'out'the'reviving&dead&conversa9ons'techniques.

Communica9ons
The'communica9onglane'is'for'people'who'you'are'currently'talking'to.
The'majority'of'the'techniques'outlined'are'applicable'in'the'communica2ons'
lane.'Keep'in'mind'that'you'dont%want%people%here%for%too%long.'ChaQng'on'
the'mobile'phone'for'hours'on'end'is'to'no'ones'benet.
The'desired'progression'from'the'communica9onglane'is'to'the'dateglane.'
You'want'to'setup'a'meet'in'the'rst'or'second'communica2on.'This'is'to'keep'
momentum.'For'you'to'be'able'to'setup'this'meet,'you'need'to'have'control'
over'your'logis2cal'situa2on;'your'2me'and'poten2al'places'to'meet.'There'is'
no'point'in'star2ng'a'conversa2on'with'someone'before'you'have'2me'slots'
ready.'As'we'discussed'in'the'data'management'sec2on,'a'good'system'for'
2me'management'is'vital'to'make'this'happen.'It'is'insanely'irrita2ng'to'look'at'
an'unprepared'week'and'see'the'extremely'high'number'of'conversa2ons'that'
end'up'needing'to'be'revived'simply'because'you'didnt'bother'with'normal'
2me'management.
Also,'it'is'important'to'push'for'an'early%meet.'This'means'that'you'try'to'meet'
anywhere'from'in'30'minutes'to'in'a'couple'of'days.'Planning'too'far'ahead'
increases'the'chance'of'aking,'and'it'just'adds'a'lot'of'complexity.'
See'the'sec2on'seQng'up'a'meet'for'2ps'on'how'to'eec2vely'set'up'a'
mee2ng'in'real'life.
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Loose&mee9ng

The'loose&mee9ngglane'is'for'people'youve'discussed'mee2ng'and'theyve'
agreed'to'it'without'seQng'a'date,'place'and'2me.'This'is'poten2ally'a'very'
problema2c'lane,'and'you'should'be'wary'of'a'lot'of'prospects'ending'up'here.'
It'means'that'you'need'to'tweak'your'appointment'making.'In'other'words,'
having'prospects'in'loose'mee2ng'might'not'even'be'a'desired'state'for'you.
The'desired'progression'from'loose&mee9ngglane'is'back'to'the'
communica9onglane'and'then'to'the'dateglane.
It'is'easy'that'these'prospects'go'stale,'so'be'brutally'honest'about'your'
assessment'of'the'situa2on'and'move'them'accordingly.
Relevant'techniques'here'are'seQng'up'a'meet'and'reviving'dead'
conversa2ons.

Date
The'dateglane'is'for'people'where'you'have'a'concrete'date'set'up.'Keep'in'
mind'that'this'doesnt'have'to'be'a'dategdate,'it'could'just'as'well'be'you'
deciding'that'you'should'go'over'to'her'house.'Right'now.'
The'desired'progression'from'the'dateglane'is'to'the'doneglane'or'the'metg
lane,'depending'on'your'eagerness'and'prociency.'Another'possible'lane'is'
the'discardedglane.
Make'sure'you'do'you'2me'management'and'actually'meet'the'people'you'set'
up'meets'with.'This'should'be'unnecessary'to'point'out,'but'make'sure'your'
logis2cs'are'in'place.'Check'out'this'sec2on'on'mee2ng'in'real'life.

Met
The'metglane'is'for'girls'you'have'met.
The'metglane'can'be'both'exhilara2ng'and'depressing.'From'here'anything'can'
happen,'but'there'are'quite'a'few'specics'you'can'apply'when'in'the'metg
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lane.
This'is'a'preXy'good'place'to'start'pushing.'Not'in'the'sense'that'you'want'
anyone'to'become'uncomfortable,'but'you'would'want'to'balance'
expecta2ons.'This'is'oRen'done'through'making'a'clear'statement'of'intent,'so'
you'should'check'out'the'techniques'used'for'that.
The'desired'progression'from'the'metglane'is'back'to'the'dateglane.
I'use'the'sexualizing'an'interac2ongtechnique.'If'you're'feeling'par2cularly'
gutsy,'try'the'penis'progression,'which'is'also'made'for'sexualizing'an'
interac2on,'but'in'a'way'that's'very'hard'to'misread.

Done
The'doneglane'is'for'girls'you'have'"done".'This'doesn't'mean'that'the'
interac2on'is'nished,'however.'If'you'want'to'get'a'girlfriend,'a'lot'of'the'same'
concepts'actually'apply.'And,'as'you'have'probably'understood'by'now,'just'
because'a'girl'will'sleep'with'you,'she'might'not'want'to'be'associated'with'you'
in'the'future.
Looking'at'it'this'way,'you'can'almost'consider'having'sex'with'someone'a'
natural'stage'in'the'funnel,'and'necessary'for'geQng'a'girlfriend.'A'lot'of'the'
challenges'are'the'same'as'before,'and'are'oRen'handled'the'same'way.
Want'to'spend'more'2me'with'her?'Tell'her,'by'giving'her'a'clear'statement'of'
intent.'Shes'not'interested?'Back'o'and'increase'investment.'
Personally,'I'hate'playing'mind'games,'and'my'worst'nightmare'is'to'end'up'in'a'
rela2onship'with'someone'where'I'need'to'constantly'game'the'other'person'
to'get'what'I'want.'I'dont'want'that'for'myself'and'I'dont'want'it'for'you.
I'hope'you'agree'that'this'is'a'huge'topic'and'is'outside'the'scope'of'the'book,'
but'a'lot'of'the'concepts'and'techniques'are'universal'and'will'aid'you.

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Stable
The'stableglane'is'for'girls'you'are'doing'regularly.'Feel'free'to'call'this'the'
haremglane'if'it'strokes'your'ego'the'right'way.'I'm'not'going'to'preach'to'you'
about'what'to'do'in'this'lane,'just'make'sure'everybody'involved'is'having'a'
good'2me.

Problema9c
The'problema9cglane'is'for,'well,'communica2ons'that'have'gone'problema2c.'
It'could'be'that'she'won't'stop'shit'tes2ng'you.'She'could'be'a'friend'of'a'girl'
you've'been'with'before,'or'she'might'be'a'raving'luna2c.
There'isn't'a'single'way'of'xing'problems.'Just'put'them'in'this'lane'and'
migrate'them'to'either'the'discardedglane'or'communica2onglane,'depending'
on'how'you'do.

Discarded
The'discardedglane'is'for'girls'youve'decided'not'to'waste'more'2me'on,'for'
whatever'reason.'This'is'obviously'an'op2onal'lane,'as'you'can'also'use'the'
Archivegfunc2on'in'Trello'to'delete'cards.

Backlog
If'you'get'in'a'situa2on'where'you'are'unable'to'manage'your'full'funnel'on'a'
daily'basis,'but'at'the'same'2me'are'unwilling'to'discard'prospects,'create'a'
backlog'lane.'All'prospects'you'do'not'currently'have'the'2me'to'work'on'are'
pushed'to'this'lane.'Whenever'you'do'collec2on'of'prospects'through'your'
other'sources,'periodically'check'with'your'backlog'to'see'whether'the'
prospects'in'it'are'more'important'than'the'new'ones'oa2ng'in.'If'the'new'
ones'oa2ng'in'seem'equally'interes2ng,'go'with'them,'as'you'will'be'riding'on'
match'momentum.
This'is'an'op2onal'lane,'because'a'ne'tuned'funnel'doesnt'really'need'it.

Work
At'rst'glance,'this'might'seem'as'work'to'you.'Make'no'mistake;'it'is.
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For'many'people,'however,'it'will'be'enjoyable'work,'but'if'youve'ever'worked'
in'sales,'this'whole'process'is'going'to'look'familiar'to'you.
If'you'feel'that'you'start'falling'behind,'you'can'adopt'the'daily'calendar'
system.'I'got'introduced'to'this'system'from'some'produc2vity'blog,'I'cannot'
remember'which,'but'it'was'called'the'"Jerry'Seinfeld'Method".'You'basically'
print'out'a'calendar'of'the'current'month,'and'every'day'when'you'do'your'
job,'you'get'to'put'an'X'in'the'current'day.'The'longer'the'chain'grows,'the'
worse'it'is'to'break'it.'
So'what'is'a'sensible'daily'workload?'
Ideally,'you'should'be'able'to'work'all%your%prospects%every%day.'In'the'
beginning,'this'wont'really'be'much'of'a'challenge,'as'your'funnel'will'be'
empty.'But'as'2me'passes,'youll'get'more'into'your'funnel,'and'this'will'seems'
more'like'work.'So'basically,'the'size'of'your'funnel'should'be'propor2onal'to'
how'much'work'you'are'able'to'put'into'it.'In'other'words,'as'you'become'
more'ecient,'you'can'increase'the'size'of'the'funnel.
An'advice'on'laying'out'your'daily'work:

Make'sure'to'catch'up'on'the'new'proles'by'swiping'them'leR/
right.'This'becomes'less'of'a'burden'if'you'do'things'The'Right'Way'(simply'
swipe'all'to'the'right).

Quickly'skim'your'matches'every'day'and'see'if'there'are'any'
supernovas'there.'These'need'to'make'it'into'your'funnel.

Take'a'look'at'the'totality'of'your'funnel'every'day.'Are'you'
managing'to'work'all'prospects'in'it?'If'you'arent,'create'another'lane'called'
Backlog'and'put'the'neglected'prospects'into'this'lane.'You'can'decide'to'
neglect'some'lanes,'specically'the'prospects,'stale'and'problema1c'ones.'If'
youre'using'Trello'to'keep'track'of'your'prospects,'you'can'add'the'Card%Aging'
PowergUp'(free)'to'visualize'which'prospects'are'being'neglected.'
Unfortunately,'the'Card'Aginggfeature'isnt'currently'congurable,'so'it'will'take'
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a'week'un2l'your'cards'start'showing'signs'of'neglect.

Feed'your'funnel'only'when'you'have'more'capacity.'Overfeeding'
your'funnel'is'a'surere'way'to'start'neglec2ng'it.'When'you'start'neglec2ng'
your'prospects,'it'gets'harder'to'keep'momentum.

Respond'to'incoming'requests'on'all'channels,'be'it'a'text,'a'
Tinder'message'and'a'Snapchat'snap.

When'actually'doing'work,'focus'on'your'funnel,'not'on'your'
Tinder'match'list.
The'last'part'is'important,'because'your'funnel'carries'much'more'informa2on'
about'your'prospects'than'your'match'list.'It'is'very%hard'to'do'focused'work'in'
the'match'list.'It'is'very%easy'to'do'focused'work'in'the'funnel.'Remember,'the'
fun'in'funnelling'will'be'available'only'aRer'you'do'the'work.
You'will'need'to'make'an'assessment'on'how&much&9me&youre&willing&to&
spend&doing&this.'Doing'catchup'of'new'proles'should'take'no'more'than'5g10'
eec2ve'minutes'every'day,'but'this'will'depend'on'where'you'live'and'how'
many'people'are'signing'up.'If'it'takes'more'than've'minutes,'change'your'
search'parameters'to'shrink'the'amount'of'proles'coming'in.
How'much'2me'it'takes'to'run'your'funnel'is'obviously'related'to'the'number'
of'prospects'in'your'funnel.'If'its'taking'too'long,'stop'adding'new'prospects'
un2l'the'2me'spent'is'manageable.'
In'the'beginning'youll'need'to'allocate'2me'to'actually'meet'the'girls.'I'suggest'
you'start'out'by'doing'heavy'da2ng,'but'youll'see'alterna2ves'to'this'
presented.'Most'people'dont'have'a'lot'of'da2ng'experience'and'just'upping'
the'frequency'you'connect'to'new'people'will'make'you'super'social.'But'it'
takes'2me.'If'you'are'able'to'do'mul2ple'dates'a'day,'go'for'it.
It'is'important'to'have'a'balanced'view'on'this,'because'it'is'easy'to'come'in'a'
situa2on'where'you'focus'too'much'on'one'of'the'lanes'while'neglec2ng'the'
others.

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iGNITE

It'is'also'2me'to'seriously'consider'to'work&in&groups.'Discuss'the'contents'of'
the'book'with'your'buddies,'and'see'if'it'resonates'with'them.'If'it'does,'set'up'
weekly'meets'where'you'discuss'the'dierent'concepts'to'make'sure'you'all'
understand'them.'Share'chat'logs'and'experiences'from'mee2ng'up.'It'is'
important'that'you'try'to'focus'on'the'same%material.'Im'not'saying'that'you'
should'limit'yourself'to'the'contents'of'this'book,'on'the'contrary;'all'good'
informa2on'is'good.'It'is,'however,'a'good'idea'that'you'decide'on'a'shared'
scope'and'curriculum.'Again,'if'youre'pulling'in'the'same'direc2on'your'
chances'of'succeeding'are'larger.'If'youre'pulling'in'dierent'direc2ons'it'is'
oRen'beXer'to'work'alone'because'you'avoid'having'your'focus'constantly'
shiRed.

186

Working&with&the&funnel

Now'that'you've'set'up'a'funnel,'how'do'you'work'it?
I'personally'work'in'this'order:

Start'o'by'making'sure'you'have'1me%to%meet%people.'Do'this'by'
consul2ng'your'calendar'of'choice.
Work'your'loose'mee2ngglane.'Try'to'shiR'these'to'the'dateglane.
Work'your'communica2onglane.'Try'to'shiR'these'to'the'dateglane.
Work'your'metglane.
Pick'prospects'and'move'them'to'the'communica2on'lane.
Provided'you'have'more'2me:

Work'your'staleglane.

Work'your'problema2cglane.

Move'people'from'your'backlog'to'your'prospect'lane.

Move'relevant'Tinder'matches'to'your'funnel.

Do'I'follow'the'funnel'religiously?'Absolutely'not,'some2mes'I'just'simply'
ignore'it'for'weeks.'It'just'lowers'my'yield,'but'if'it'becomes'too'much'of'a'
chore,'just'drop'it.
When'you'get'more'procient'with'the'techniques'you'won't'need'it'as'much.'
But'in'the'beginning,'it'is'very'helpful'to'bring'some'structure'to'your'game.'
But'everyone'is'going'to'get'caught'in'the'rush'of'a'recent'match'and'just'surf'
on'the'momentum.'This'is'good'game'once'you'understand'how'the'dierent'
parts'connect.

Troubleshoo9ng&with&the&funnel
It'is'also'very'helpful'to'troubleshoot'with'your'funnel.
If'one'of'the'lanes'in'the'funnel'becomes'too'full,'consult'the'relevant'lane's'
descrip2on'and'techniques'and'try'to'work'structured'with'it.

Funnel&transfer
This'is'important'to'understand,'even'if'you'decide'to'never'implement'a'
funnelling'system:
How'well'you'do'at'one'stage'in'the'funnel'is'a'strong'indicator'of'how'hard'
you'can'press'in'the'next.
If'you'get'10'matches'in'a'month,'making'them'not'fully'invest'in'the'
conversa2on'before'pushing'for'a'meet'is'more'likely'to'be'an'overextension'
than'if'you'get'100'matches'a'month.
Think'of'it'like'this:
Some'guys'are'just'hoXer'than'other.'These'have'an'easier'2me'bedding'
women'if'they'show'up'in'the'real'world.'If'you've'swallowed'any'pickup'
community'propaganda'that'says'otherwise,'feel'free'to'cling'on'to'that'belief'
if'you'want.'But'it'is'the'honest'to'whatever'deity'you'worship'truth.'There'are'
guys'that'pull'on'looks'and'the'ability%to%say%yes'alone.'Women'will'do'the'
logis2cal'work'for'these'guys.'They'will'chat'them'up.'They'will'even'get'
physical'and'lead'them'home'if'necessary.
It'is'very'likely'that'hot'guys'are'able'to'produce'beXer'pictures.'This'will'
obviously'create'more'matches,'but'it'will'also'create'more%interested'matches.'
In'other'words,'you'can'use'your'match'rate'as'an'indicator'of'how'quickly'you'
can'push'through'the'dierent'stages'of'the'interac2on.&The&more&matches&
you&get,&the&higher&speed&you&can&operate&each&match&with,&because&they&are&
probably&already&more&invested&in&you.
Interes2ngly,'you'll'do'so'ins2nc2vely'as'you'get'a'feeling'of'abundance.
But,'there'is'a'ipside'to'this'coin.'If'you're'not'the'best'looker'and'you'have'a'
hard'2me'taking'good'pictures,'even'with'professional'help,'you'won't'get'
many'matches.'You'might'get'10'a'month.'These'matches'are'also'going'to'be'
less'interested'in'you,'because'they'were'probably'hesitant'to'swipe'you'right'
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in'the'rst'place.'Some'might'have'even'done'it'by'mistake.'The&fewer&matches&
you&get,&the&more&investment&you&have&to&secure&before&pushing,&because&
they're&likely&to&be&less&interested&in&you.&
Two'people'can'do'the'exact'same'thing'in'the'exact'same'way'and'have'
extremely'dierent'outcomes.
And'it'is'a'harsh'part'of'reality'that'you'might'not'be'that'good'looking.'You'
might'not'be'able'to'get'good'pictures.'Your'matches'will'only'be'semig
interested,'and'you'might'never'get'to'extreme'velocity'with'women'on'Tinder'
(or'anywhere'else'for'that'maXer).
The'good'thing'is'that'you'should'be'able'to'dial'back'your'game'to'one'that'is'
based'more'in'investment'in'communica2on,'and'get'a'consistent'pullgrate.'I'
urge'you'to'also'experiment'with'overextension,'of'course,'as'you'might'be'
able'to'exhibit'the'traits'of'abundant'men'even'if'you're'not'one'of'them.''You'
might'nd'that'the'laXer'requires'ninja'skill'game,'and'that'you'll'be'burning'
prospects'leR'and'right.'I'm'not'saying'that'you'can't'do'it,'but'it'might'not'be'a'
good'way'to'spend'your'2me.
Remember,'that'any'moment'in'2me'when'you're'ac2ng,'your'ability'to'
succeed'is'a'compound'of'their'preceeding'impressions'of'you.'This'knowledge'
should'be'helpful'when'you'troubleshoot'your'game.'
This'is'not'about'demoralizing'you.'It'is'about'the'importance'of'tuning'all'the'
stages'of'the'funnel'for'success,'refocusing'on'the'dangers'of'over'gaming'and'
understanding'when'game'is'necessary.
I'feel'that'it's'also'good'to'say'this,'because'some'of'the'stu'we'll'be'
discussing'later'in'the'book'as'you'get'to'intermediate'game'relies'on'you'
having'her'interested'in'you.'

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Progression&model
For'this'book,'we'll'describe'a'fairly'simple'progression'model.'It'will'have'
plenty'of'examples,'as'most'people'learn'from'example.'However,'all'these'
examples'will'be'linked'to'core'concepts'that'saturate'the'interac2ons.
Some'of'these'concepts'will'be'familiar'to'people'who'do'tradi2onal'game.'
Some'of'them'probably'won't,'however,'as'they'are'fairly'complex'concepts.'
Do'not'let'this'deter'you.'If'you'don't'understand'the'core'concepts,'you'can'
probably'just'skip'ahead'to'the'examples'and'when'you'get'a'grasp'of'how'the'
concept'is'used.'Then,'if'you'need'to,'and'I'recommend'you'do,'return'to'the'
descrip2on'of'the'concept.
Common'for'most'of'these'concepts'is'that'if'you'feel'that'they'are'either'
unnatural'or'overly'coarse,'you're'probably'doing'them'wrong.'So'please'look'
at'some'example'applica2ons'before'using'them,'just'to'get'a'feel'for'2ming'
and'amount'of'pressure.
The'progression'model'will'take'you'from'a'match'(in'the'Tinder'case)'or'a'
contact'(in'the'Snapchat'case),'in'other'words'from'the'point'of'ini2al'contact'
and'guide'you'through'the'whole'interac2on.
Even'with'this'system,'you'will'not'win'every'Tinder'match.'But'I'recommend'
you'follow'the'system'un2l'you'understand'why'it'works'and'how'it'works.'
Deviate'from'the'system'in'cases'where'you'don't'really'care'too'much'about'
the'outcome.'It'has'been'tried'and'tested,'and'it's'basically'what'you're'paying'
for,'so'devia2ng'too'far'from'it'in'situa2ons'where'it'maXers'before'you'have'
built'your'own'skillset'is'really'throwing'hard'earned'cash'out'the'window.
So'far'weve'looked'at'your'prospect,'a'virtual'representa2on'of'who'you'are.'It'
is'important'to'understand'this.'Youve'been'able'to'control'all'aspects'of'what'
she'knows'about'you.
Now,'its'2me'to'look'at'the'virtual'interac2on,'but'its'important'to'understand'
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that'no'maXer'how'much'it'might'mirror'real'life,'this'is's2ll'just'a'projec2on'of'
who'you'are.'Un2l'you'actually'meet,'you'can'control'in'detail'all'the'
informa2on'she'sees.
So'listen.'I'have'absolutely'no'idea'who'you'are.'I've'been'trying'my'best'to'
make'this'an'accessible'and'applicable'product.'However,'crea2ng'a'bunch'of'
good'looking'pictures'is'one'thing.'It's'going'to'help'you'get'matches.'S2ll,'
matches'are'really'just'rows'in'a'database'somewhere,'and'while'they'surely'
do'warm'the'soul,'they'do'liXle'to'nothing'to'warm'your'privates.
From'geQng'a'Tinder'match,'you'need'to'ini2ate'a'conversa2on'of'some'kind.'
Ideally,'this'will'lead'to'a'meet.'This'really'isn't'that'hard;'you'can'preXy'much'
script'this'from'beginning'to'end'and'have'someone'agree'to'meet'you'in'a'
very'short'while.
But'what'when'they'do?
I'really'have'no'idea'of'knowing'how'you'll'do'in'a'da2ng'situa2on,'so'weve'
added'a'sec2on'about'mee2ng'in'real'life'as'well,'including'handling'logis2cs'
and'some'escala2on.
Tinder'and'Snapchat'complement'each'other'in'some'ways'and'overlap'in'
others.'Typically,'you'll'nd'that'gaming'on'Tinder'can'be'an'eec2ve'stand'
alone'approach,'but'at'2mes,'especially'when'you'need'to'build'trust,'build'
investment,'put'people'on'the'back'burner'or'you'just'need'extra'momentum,'
using'Snapchat'is'sensible.
Also,'a'lot'of'your'contacts'will'have'a'presence'only'on'Snapchat,'because'you'
did'your'data'mining'with'people'you'didn't'really'match'with.

191

Trans&medium&branching
Ideally'you'want'to'progress'from'the'medium'youre'currently'in'to'having'the'
girl'in'your'bed.'Some2mes,'however,'it'can'be'a'good'idea'to'branch'from'one'
medium'to'the'other.''Be'aware,'tho,'that'trans'medium'branching'can'be'
detrimental'to'momentum.'Well'see'why.
Its'important'to'rst'dis2nguish'between'making'a'branch'to'another'medium,'
and'collec2ng'personal'informa2on'about'another'medium.'Youll'see'people'
in'all'walks'of'game'bragging'about'geQng'a'girls'number.'Numbers'arent'
worthless,'but'most'people'have'no'idea'what'to'do'with'them.'So'if'you'get'a'
number'on'Tinder,'ne.'Youve'increased'her'investment'a'liXle.'There'is'no'
reason'to'actually'use'the'number'if'there'is'currently'momentum'in'the'
Tinder'conversa2on.'Again;'ideally'meet'using'the'current'medium.'
Communica2on'on'mul2ple'media'will'oRen'create'a'dissonance,'and'it'is'not'
uncommon'when'doing'so'that'one'conversa2on'goes'well'while'the'other'
goes'sour.'There'is'a'tendency'to'compartmentalize'these'things'even'if'we'all'
logically'know'that'were'talking'to'the'same'person.
Taking&someones&Facebook&and&adding&them&as&a&friend&is&a&dubious&
progression,'and'should'only'be'done'in'emergencies.'The'reason'is'that'
Facebook'is'a'back'burner'medium;'women'you'fuck'from'Facebook'are'
oRen'used'to'be'leR'there'to'simmer'on'weeks'and'months'to'end.'In'other'
words,'moving'from'Tinder'to'Facebook'is'a'momentum'killer;'people'are'used'
to'not%mee1ng%people'from'Facebook.
If'you'know'how'to'work'Facebook,'by'all'means,'do'it.'But'when'you'think'
about'it,'all'of'a'sudden'you'have'a'lot'of'things'that'can'go'wrong.'She'can'see'
your'wall,'more'pictures,'possibly'your'friends,'etc.'Its'just'a'lot'harder'to'
control'all'these'parameters,'and'given'shes'already'invested'in'the'small'sliver'
of'you'shes'seen,'shy'away'from'adding'on'Facebook'people'you'havent'met.
Im a little skeptical of adding people on Facebook I dont
know in real life.

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Tinder&to&phone&number&is&a&liZle&beZer.&You'can'get'her'phone'number'
without'giving'out'yours.'This'means'she'cannot'do'a'reverse'search'for'your'
full'name'and'start'stalking'you.'This'preXy'much'boils'down'to'you's2ll'
controlling'the'informa2on'she'is'receiving.
This'means,'tho,'that'you'ask'for'her'number,'but'you'dont'use'it.
Hey, whats your number, in case I get delayed tonight.

Ask'for'it'when'you'already'have'a'meet'lined'up,'and'use'it'only'aRer'you'have'
met.
If'you'have'good'experiences'giving'out'your'phone'number'to'girls'online,'go'
ahead'and'do'it.'The'system'doesn't'dictate'either'way,'but'keep'in'mind'that'it'
will'be'easier'to'nd'your'personal'informa2on'in'certain'situa2ons.
The'good'thing'about'geQng'the'number,'is'that'you'also'get'them'on'
Whatsapp.'Here'they'typically'have'another'picture'you'can'check'out,'as'well'
as'another'communica2ons'channel'if'they'happen'to'disappear'from'Tinder'
(for'whatever'reason).
Progression&to&Snapchat&from&Tinder'isnt'really'as'dubious'as'the'others,'as'
Snapchat'is'a'fairly'in2mate'form'of'communica2on.'Also,'its'not'prone'to'
leaving'you'with'dead'conversa2ons,'as'we'saw'earlier.
Adding'a'ques2on'about'a'girls'Snapchat'can'therefore'be'a'good'way'to'
prevent'your'connec2ons'from'dying'out.
Another'medium'that'is'suitable'for'this'is'Instagram,'but'that'is'outside'the'
current'scope'of'this'book.
If'you're'afraid'that'your'Tinder'communica2on'is'becoming'too'friendly'and'
the'sexual'spark'is'dying,'you'can'use'the&penis&progression.'It'is'a'high'risk/
high'reward'maneuver,'and'it'is'for'advanced'players'only.
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It'goes'a'liXle'something'like'this:
T: What's your Snapchat name?
Her: Blablabla.
T: Cool. Let me just get it up.
Her: ?!
T: Promise me you won't open the first picture! It's a nude.

Add'her'on'Snaphat'and'send'her'a'picture'of'you'with'a'raging'erec2on.'Add'a'
descrip2ve'text'to'the'image;'something'like'"You'have'no'self'control".
Her: What?
T: Promise! It's a nude picture of me with a raging hard on.
Her: Ok.
T: You can open the second one.

Then'you'take'a'picture'out'the'window'and'add'a'nice'message,'like,'"It's'
sunny!"
Sit'back'and'watch'her'fail.'You'should'have'a'preXy'easy'2me'geQng'her'to'
invest'while'she's'wai2ng'for'her'inevitable'failure'to'control'herself.'Typical'
result'is'that'they'act'a'liXle'shocked,'but'that's'OK.'You'told'them'what'was'
going'to'happen.'Then'comes'a'phase'of'acceptance'and'horniness.'Typically'
accompanied'by'an'urge'to'return'the'favor'and/or'meet'up.
Does'this'really'work?'What'it'does'is'basically'sexualize'a'dying'conversa2on'
with'a'fairly'decent'revival'rate.'However,'it'is'really'easy'to'burn'good'leads'
using'this'technique,'so'use'it'sparingly.'But'yes,'I've'had'it'work'and'work'well,'
numerous'2mes.
See'an'example'of'the'penis'progression'used'in'the'report'on'Zoe.

194

Mee9ng&in&real&life
This'is'where'youre'hoping'to'get'to;'mee2ng'in'real'life.'A'lot'of'things'could'
go'wrong,'but'at'least'you'have'her'thinking'youre'good'enough'on'paper'to'
go'through'the'trouble'of'mee2ng.
The'previous'set'of'hurdles'all'of'a'sudden'became'a'new'set'of'hurdles,'and'
because'I'want'this'to'be'an'endgtogend'solu2on,'Ill'try'to'make'sure'you'do'
well,'even'in'real'life.
It'is,'however,'somewhat'out'of'the'scope'of'this'book'to'make'a'fully'etched'
da2ng'manual,'but'a'lot'of'the'techniques'that'have'been'described'actually'
translate'fairly'well,'so'keep'that'in'mind'when'you'apply'them'on'your'mobile'
phone.
Also,'allow'me'to'stress'that'there'are'no'correct'answers,'and'generic'advise'
will'never'trump'your'own'experience.'I'can'simply'provide'some'input'and'
pointers'for'you'to'consider'and,'if'it'makes'sense,'par2ally'or'fully'adopt.

Closing&the&gap&between&prospect&and&product
The'rst'thing'you'need'to'consider'is'closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and'
product.'Shes'made'a'picture'of'you'in'her'mind,'but'it'is'a'result'of'
informa2on'that'youve'been'carefully'ltering'and'feeding'her.'
How'big'is'the'gap'between'this'cherry'picked'version'of'reality'and'real'life?'
Are'you'going'to'be'able'to'meet'her'without'her'being'let'down'and'feel'
cheated?
This'is'a'liXle'similar'to'shopping'for'a'house'(or,'in'the'one'night'stand'analogy,'
a'hotel).'You'look'at'pictures'of'the'house'online,'you'see'how'many'square'
feet'it'is,'what'street'it'is'on.'You'read'a'descrip2on'of'when'to'expect'the'sun'
to'rise,'and'how'you'can'enjoy'it'from'your'balcony.
When'you'go'see'a'house'the'rst'2me,'youll'nd'that'it'oRen'doesnt'match'
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the'prospect'at'all.'All'the'interior'photos'are'shot'with'a'wide'angle'lens'
crea2ng'the'illusion'of'spacious'environments.'In'real'life'it'can'be'cramped.'
Ok,'so'the'sun'shows'up'as'adver2sed,'but'it'seems'to'always'be'accompanied'
by'a'megaton'freight'train'running'through'your'part'of'town'15'feet'from'your'
bedroom'window.
The'more'houses'you'see,'the'more'of'these'discrepancies'you'will'no2ce.'
Youll'learn'to'get'an'eye'for'them,'tho.'And'the'fact'that'these'exist,'doesnt'
mean'that'people'will'stop'doing'shopping'for'houses.
Consider'for'a'second'that'the'girl'is'out'looking'for'some'ac2on'and'the'
reason'why'shes'mee2ng'you'isnt'necessarily'because'shes'super'aXracted'to'
you,'but'because'shes'a'liXle'bit'horny'and'the'prospect'you'showed'her'is'
easy'to'ra2onalize'mee2ng'up'with.'
Shouldnt'you'help'her'out?
Absolutely.'This'means'that'if'youve'polarized'hard'in'your'prole'when'talking'
to'this'girl'online,'back'this'look'up.'Ive'made'mistakes'when'it'comes'to'this'in'
the'past,'and'it'wasnt'preXy.'I'got'the'phone'number'of'a'sober'waitress'at'a'
rock'concert,'wearing'my'leather'jacket.'I'gured'Id'impress'her'with'my'
versa2lity'the'next'day,'and'showed'up'with'a'shirt,'vest'and'sports'jacket.'
Shed'been'prospected'going'in'a'date'with'a'rocker,'she'got,'well,'something%
else.'Its'an'amateur'mistake,'really,'and'both'ouuits'are'good'on'me.'Its'just'a'
maXer'of'her'geQng'a'really'good'steak'when'she'ordered'sushi.'Its'not'what'
she'had'built'up'a'hankering'for.'Its'not'even'a'ques2on'of'one'being'beXer'
than'the'other,'it'is'a'ques2on'of'geNng%what%you%expect.
So'obviously,'part'of'closing'the'gap'is'to'actually'try'to'resemble'the'prospect,'
both'in'how'you'dress'and'how'you'act.'Im'not'asking'you'to'put'on'an'act,'
but'most'people'have'more'personality'than'can'be'shown'in'a'1g2'hour'date.'
Pick'the'parts'of'your'personality'that'match'your'online'prospect.
Making'an'eort'to'close'this'gap'is'hugely'important.'If'you'have'pictures'that'
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are'too'good,'it'will'mean'that'youll'spend'a'lot'of'2me'on'dates'that'go'
nowhere.'
Remember'that'expecta2ons'drive'percep2on.'This'concept'will'help'you'out.'
If'you're'in'the'ballpark'of'what'she'expected'from'your'pictures,'she'll'usually'
give'you'the'benet'of'the'doubt.'Too'far'removed'and'the'meet'will'be'a'
catastrophe.
In'my'case,'using'this'as'my'calling'card,'I'make'sure'to'wear'a'black'jacket'and'
preferably'blackish/grey'pants.'If'I'care'about'the'prospect,'I'will'also'shave'in'a'
similar'way'to'on'the'photo.'It'is'not'only'because'shell'have'an'easier'2me'
recognising'me'when'we'meed'up,'but'all'of'these'factors'help'close'the'gap'
between'prospect'and'product.'Youll'never'look'exactly'like'you'do'in'the'
pictures'in'real'life.'This'is'OK;'everybody'knows'it.'But'the'more'of'these'pegs'
you'knock'down,'the'more'you'will'match'her'expecta2ons,'and'the'more'her'
already'exis2ng'investment'will'help'you'out.
There'are'a'number'of'prepara2ons'you'can'make'before'mee2ng'someone.
Your'appearance'will'obviously'be'of'huge'importance.
As'I'men2oned'before,'keep'in'mind'how'youve'branded'yourself,'and'be'a'
physical'extension'of'what'youve'been'prospec2ng.'Wear'some'of'the'same'
clothes,'give'o'the'same'vibe.'This'is'important.'
I'won't'write'much'about'grooming.'Just'show'up'as'a'clean,'shaven,'brilliantly'
version'of'yourself.
You'should'consider'applying'makeup'if'needed.'Make'sure'it'is'not'visible'
unless'its'a'specic'look'youre'going'for.'I'use'makeup'for'most'of'my'dates,'as'
I'have'a'skin'problem'and'tend'to'look'very'red'without'it.
I'write'about'makeup'in'the'photography'sec2on.

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Showing&up&aZrac9ve'is'a'term'I'think'was'coined'in'the'days'by'pickup'
legend'Ross'Jeries.'You'might'want'to'look'at'his'material'on'this.'Being'able'
to'show'up'aXrac2ve'is'an'interes2ng'topic'on'its'own,'and'I'can'only'scratch'
the'surface'of'it'in'this'book'and'give'some'recommenda2ons'as'to'what'
material'you'should'be'checking'out'to'get'the'informa2on.
To'show'up'aXrac2ve'is'similar'to'geQng'the'Xgfactor'or'it.'It'is'very'hard'
to'describe'exactly'what'this'intangible'eect'really'is,'but'fortunately'there'are'
at'this'point'a'slew'of'exercises'you'can'do'to'obtain'it.'A'lot'of'it'has'to'do'with'
being%in%the%body%instead%of%in%the%head.
These'are'my'personal'favorites:

TRE'(Trauma'Release'Exercise)'by'David'Berceli.'Just'learn'this'
technique'and'use'it'liberally.'It'could'be'life'changing'in'many'ways.

Code'of'the'Natural'by'Rob'Brinded.'A'set'of'stretching'exercises'
that'can'be'used'prior'to'going'out.'These'loosen'up'the'body'in'the'right'
places'and'does'something'to'your'subconscious'at'the'same'2me,'making'you'
mellow'and'laid'back.'I'currently'recommend'star2ng'with'his'original'PDF'
product.

Qi'Gong.

Mindfulness.
If'you'nd'that'your'dates'are'not'going'very'well'when'you'actually'meet'
people,'look'into'any'and'all'of'these.

Research
You'can'do'research'on'your'dates'before'you'meet'up.'This'is'obviously'really'
easy'when'you'meet'people'from'Tinder'and'have'mutual'friends.'Also,'people'
who'disclose'their'Snapchat'address'oRen'use'this'as'a'TwiXer'handle,'etc,'so'
searching'for'this'in'conjunc2on'with'the'rst'name'oRen'yields'a'lot'of'
informa2on'through'Google.'This'is'also'known'as'cyberstalking.'I'recommend'
you'don't'spend'much'or'any'2me'doing'this.
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The'reason'is'simple:'As'you'get'procient'at'da2ng,'knowing'as'liXle'as'
possible'about'people'can'be'a'benet.'You'dont'have'to'remember'a'bunch'
of'trivia'about'them,'and'lets'be'honest,'nding'out'these'things'about'people'
facegtogface'is'usually'much'more'fun'than'digging'out'informa2on'about'
people'in'advance.
In'a'way'you'could'say'that'in'this'light,'ignorance'about'someone'is'power.'
Most'people'will'happily'tell'you'about'themselves'and'their'hobbies'if'youre'
really'interested,'and'this'could'not'only'be'fun'and'entertaining'but'obviously'
educa2onal.'Having'people'tell'these'things'about'themselves'will'also'
increase'their'investment'in'you.

The&dates&and&why&da9ng&is&awesome
Before'I'started'with'Tinder,'I'had'no'idea'how'much'I'love'going'on'dates.'
Tradi2onally,'Ive'been'pulling'from'nightclubs,'streets'and'bars'the'last'
couple'of'years.'While'this'can'be'an'exhilara2ng'experience,'it'also'severely'
limits'your'pool.'Also,'you'need'to'actually'have'a'bit'of'game.
There'are'so'many'reasons'why'da2ng'is'awesome,'I'want'to'warm'you'up'to'
it.
Coming'from'a'tradi2onal'night'game'scenario,'here'are'a'bunch'of'things'you'
might'be'used'to'worrying'about:
AMOGs'(Alpha'Male'of'Group).'These'people'are'likely'to'go'into'baXle'with'
you'over'a'girl'you'fancy'when'youre'out'on'the'town.'They'are'muscular,'
loud,'lled'with'testosterone'and'will'stop'at'nothing'to'see'you'fail'if'it'means'
they'get'the'girl.
Obstacles.'The'ugly'girlfriend'who'gets'too'drunk'and'needs'help'geQng'home'
safe,'or'the'one'that'whispers'in'your'loved'ones'ear'that'Look,'he'wears'
Armani'Exchange.
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Loud&noise.'To'talk'over'120dB'of'some'crappy'hiphop'ar2st'cackling'about'
something'totally'irrelevant'to'all'our'lives'takes'a'toll'on'your'physique.'It'is'
just'harder'to'get'and'maintain'peoples'aXen2on'at'a'loud'club.
You'and'your'wingmen'are'oRen'in'sync'about'who'owns'the'set'and'who'
has'dibs'on'a'girl.'But'some2mes'you'dont.'Figh9ng&with&your&wingmen'is'
not'only'childish'behavior,'but'it'is'very'hard'to'actually'communicate'these'
things'in'real'2me.'
When'tension'starts'to'build,'you'eject.'Or'she'ejects.'You'really'like'each'
other,'but'the'idea'that'you'might'be'going'home'together'might'seem'
overwhelming.'So'you'sabotage,'and'dont.'
People's2ll'struggle'with'opening.'Faced'with'all'the'problems'above,'and'add'
to'that'general'shyness,'a'lot'of'people'are'horny'as'hell'but'go'out'without'
really'talking'to'new'people.
Part'of'the'reason'is'that'a'lot'of'the'girls&are&overly&drunk,'and'the'only'real'
way'to'communicate'with'them'is'to'jump'around'like'a'monkey'in'heat'and'
get'physical.'And'lets'face'it,'drunk'girls'really'just'arent'that'charming.
To'accomplish'this,'you&o_en&get&overly&drunk'or'(even'worse)'not'drunk'
enough.'When'you'miss'this'mark,'its'easy'to'be'leR'on'the'outside'of'
conversa2ons'or'become'incredibly'ogpuQng'when'in'them.
None&of&these'apply'to'a'da2ng'situa2on,'which'means'you'should&embrace&it&
as&soon&as&possible.'The'date'situa2on'leaves'you'alone'with'a'girl'for'an'
extended'2me'in'a'venue'of'your'choice,'a'place'where'you'can'speak'
comfortably'with'nobody'bothering'you.'Most'people'can'do'so'comfortably'
without'any'level'of'intoxica2on.'You'don't'need'to'have'kung'fu'verbal'skills.'
You'don't'need'to'do'mar2al'arts'physical'escala2on.
Most'of'the'2me'you'just'need'to'show'up'and'show'her'you're'not'a'creepy'or'
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needy.'That'you'are'the'guy'in'the'pictures.'ORen2mes'the'rest'takes'care'of'
itself.

What&she'll&be&looking&for
And'that'is'oRen'what'she'll'be'looking'for.'If'you'look'at'it'from'her'
perspec2ve,'she'will'be'spending'more'2me'looking'for'reasons'why'you're'the'
wrong'guy'than'you're'the'right.'This'translates'roughly'to:'Focus'on'not'
making'mistakes.
If'you'come'o'as'try'hard,'chances'are'you'll'kill'whatever'aXrac2on'is'there.'
That's'not'to'say'that'you'won't'be'crea2ng'a'spark'between'you'and'being'
irta2ous.'If'you'have'done'any'sexual'seeding,'the'tension'will'already'be'
there'from'the'get'go.

The&many&formats&of&dates
Im'not'going'to'dictate'the'purpose'of'the'dates,'as'these'might'vary'from'
person'to'person.'I'do'want'to'shed'light'on'some'typical'purposes,'however.
A'really'good'reason'for'going'on'a'quick'date'is'to'check'to'see'if'there'are'any'
obvious'hurdles.'People'won't'necessarily'need'to'do'a'full'background'check'
and'see'your'dental'records'to'go'to'bed'with'you.'A'lot'of'the'2me,'just'doing'
a'quick'lunch'date'with'a'dura2on'of'30'minutes'or'less'will'be'sucient'to'
make'people'ready'to'push'the'connec2on'forward.
If'you'think'about'it,'doing'these'short'dates'is'a'really'good'idea;'you'can'get'
mul2ple'of'them'done'in'a'day,'you'get'a'limited'window'where'you'can'fuck'
up'and'the'momentum'builds'quite'tremendously.'She'll'get'an'impression'of'
you'on'a'supercial'level'and'you'get'to'see'if'she's'someone'you'want'to'
spend'2me'with/on/in.
I'end'up'doing'this'in'one'of'two'ways'personally.'I'either'set'up'a'rst'mee2ng'
with'the'inten2on'of'showing'her'I'm'not'a'total'freak'and'checking'out'if'I'nd'
her'interes2ng'at'all.'These'mee2ngs'are'typically'in'cafs,'and'last'anything'
from'30'minutes'to'an'hour'and'a'half.''If'you're'new'at'da2ng,'I'suggest'you'
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look'up'what'a'false%1me%constraint'is'and'do'the'opposite,'namely'cut'it'short'
even'if'you'have'nothing'beXer'to'do.'The'reason'is'that'it'gives'you'an'
opportunity'to'leave'on'a'high'and'it'minimizes'the'2me'window'in'which'you'
can'screw'it'up.
Some2mes'there'is'a'vibe'there'that'makes'the'date'into'a'sexual'mee2ng'on'
its'own,'without'any'conscious'pushing'on'my'part.'I've'goXen'up'from'my'
chair'ready'to'end'many'dates'where'girls'just'walk'in'my'same'direc2on'aRer'
we'leave'the'venue,'and'before'we'know'it,'we're'back'at'my'place.'Don't'let'
this'surprise'you.
The'alterna2ve'to'this'is'to'actually'go'for'an'extrac2on'back'to'her'place'or'
your'place.'In'these'cases'it'helps'being'a'liXle'physical.'It'is'OK'to'be'physical'
in'a'date'situa2on,'even'at'a'caf.'Just'make'sure'you'don't'overdo'it.'If'you're'
at'third'base'at'a'Starbucks'and'you'suggest'you'go'back'to'your'place,'chances'
are'she'is'going'to'want'to'not'appear'sluXy,'and'decline.
There's'a'lot'of'decent'material'on'this'online.'Search'terms'include'"kino'
escala2on"'and'"escala2on'ladder".'I'personally'usually'stop'at'pecks'on'the'
cheek'when'I'm'in'a'venue'to'avoid'her'feeling'promiscuous,'but'some2mes,'if'
I'meet'and'there'is'beer'involved,'I'might'go'for'the'makeout.
Keep'in'mind'that'making'out'might'turn'tension'into'momentum,'but'if'you'
cannot'harness'the'momentum,'you're'basically'just'releasing'tension'without'
having'a'good'outlet'for'it.'
Which'leads'us'to'random'hookups,'which'can'be'anything'from'mee2ng'
someone'out'at'a'club'at'night'to'them'simply'booty'calling'you.'Blind.'Without'
mee2ng'you'rst.'It'happens,'and'we'shouldn't'judge.'
As'we'discussed'in'making'it'easy,'just'do'that.'Don't'pass'up'on'a'good'oer,'
you'll'regret'it.'
Mee2ng'girls'in'clubs'at'night'isn't'necessarily'the'best'idea,'as'you'll'all'of'a'
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sudden'have'thrown'all'the'benets'of'a'controlled'date'environment'out'the'
window.'Other'people'and'the'environment'will'be'gh2ng'for'her'aXen2on.'
She'will'no'doubt'have'a'bunch'of'girlfriends'there,'all'of'which'are'likely'to'
probe'you'for'faults.'I'am'not'saying'that'you'shouldn't'do'it,'but'be'realis2c'
about'it.'If'you'meet'people'in'this'kind'of'venue,'you'might'have'to'put'on'
your'game'face'and'actually'do'some'eldwork.
A'benet'might'be'that'other'guys'have'pumped'her'emo2onal'state'and'made'
her'horny,'and'when'you'show'up'as'a'semigknown'face,'it's'easy'to'ra2onalize'
why'she'comes'home'with'you.'She'"knows"'you'from'before,'so'you're'safe.

Logis9cs
To'be'honest,'logis2cs'might'be'more'than'half'of'the'game.'I'could'tell'you'
that'it'doesnt'maXer'that'you'live'in'a'cave'in'the'forest,'but'Id'be'lying'to'
you.'I'could'tell'you'that'it'really'doesnt'maXer'if'your'bedroom'looks'like'a'
total'dump,'but'it'would'also'be'untrue'(although'not'necessarily'for'the'
reasons'you'expect).
Females'seem'to'be'able'to'have'sex'at'any'2me'of'day,'so'that's'not'what'you'
need'to'worry'about.'If'you'take'them'out'on'a'weeknight,'make'sure'you'
meet'early'enough'so'you'have'2me'to'bring'them'home'or'go'to'their'place.'
From'rst'meets,'I've'brought'women'home'any2me'from'early'aRernoon'to'
late'at'night.'My'personal'preference'is'to'set'something'up'at'around'8PM,'
then'be'a'liXle'late'(leQng'her'know,'of'course),'and'be'done'and'ready'for'
extrac2on'by'9:30PM.'This'is'not'a'big'deal'for'me,'and'I'try'not'to'make'this'
part'of'a'rou2ne,'because'it'is'important'to'be'exible'in'this'regard.'If'she'can'
meet'me'at'4PM,'I'm'there.
When'you'pick'a'place,'try'to'pick'somewhere'close%to%you%or%close%to%her.'I'
oRen'try'to'pick'a'nice'bistro'just'down'the'street'for'me,'which'doubles'as'a'
pub'and'caf.'The'reasons'are'many:

I'm'lazy.
Picking'a'place'closer'to'me'makes'her'travel.'This'increases'investment'
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on'her'part.
Going'to'a'place'that's'new'to'her'gives'you'an'emo2onal'upper'hand.'
You're'in'a'well'known,'safe'and'explored'habitat.

There's'obviously'nothing'wrong'with'taking'her'to'a'park'or'for'a'stroll,'
whatever'strikes'your'fancy.'But'for'obvious'reasons,'it'is'a'good'idea'to'end'up'
close'to'one'of'you,'so'in'case'things'start'hea2ng'up,'you'won't'have'to'walk'
for'45'minutes'or'stand'in'line'wai2ng'for'a'taxi.

Extrac9on&rou9nes

ORen'it'is'enough'to'do'a'statement'of'intent'and'live'by'the'rules'of'ask'and'
you'shall'receive.'If'you'nd'that'this'fails'you,'a'number'of'factors'might'be'in'
play.'Maybe'she's'shy,'maybe'it'makes'her'feel'sluXy.
I'some2mes'use'a'couple'of'rou2nes'to'get'her'back'to'my'place.'One'of'them'
is'fairly'simple,'and'involves'something'along'the'lines'of:
"Let's'move'on'aRer'this'drink,'there's'a'cool'place'just'up'the'street."
"Ok."
Then'you'walk'past'your'apartment.
"I'just'need'to'fetch'something,'be'right'back.'Come'on'up'for'a'couple'of'
seconds'if'you'want."
This'will'give'her'the'opportunity'to'join'you'with'a'perfect'excuse'to'do'so.'If'
she'says'no,'just'walk'up'and'wait'a'couple'of'minutes,'then'come'back'down.'
If'you'then'move'on'to'a'separate'place,'you'can'suggest'going'back'to'your'
place'aRer'a'drink.'Now'that'she'knows'where'it'is,'it'will'feel'safer.'Unless,'of'
course,'you'live'in'a'crack'house.
If'she'agrees'to'come'up,'just'excuse'yourself'and'move'towards'your'room,'or'
something.'On'the'way'there,'just'tell'her'you'don't'want'to'be'impolite'and'
pour'her'a'glass'of'wine'if'that's'what'she'was'drinking'before.
This'might'seem'a'liXle'devious,'but'it's'all'about'knocking'down'hurdles'so'she'
feels'safe'enough'to'do'what'she'wants'to'do.

204

Becoming&"beZer"&means&shorter&9me&in&the&pipeline
Improving'your'game'is'a'simple'maXer'of'being'able'to'beXer'assess'at'which'
speed'you'can'extend.'This'means'that'all'communica2on'and'all'conversa2ons'
should'play'out'quicker.
It'also'means'that'youve'heightened'your'tension'threshold.'This'should'allow'
you'to'work'with'hoXer'girls'than'previously,'as'one'of'the'main'reasons'guys'
fumble'with'girls'they'nd'hot'is'that'the'tension'becomes'unbearable.
Also,'as'you'keep'adjus2ng'your'funnel,'all'steps'should'improve.'This'means'
more'prospects,'beXer'conversion'from'prospect'to'date,'beXer'conversion'
rate'from'date'to'lay.'
This'will'lead'to'abundance.'Not'abundance'mentality,'but'true'abundance.'
This'is'a'highly'aXrac2ve'trait'in'men,'and'is,'contrary'to'popular'belief,'very'
hard'to'actually'learn.'You'need'to'experience'abundance'to'get'a'feel'for'it,'
you'cant'fake'it.'This'is'actually'the'only'way'to'really'learn'this.

Beginner&game
I'have'no'idea'how'well'versed'you'are'in'the'da2ng'world,'so'Ill'assume'you'
are'a'total'newbie.'The'beginner'sec2on'is'a'safe,'rela2vely'high'yield'method'
that,'if'it'doesnt'get'you'immediately'laid,'will'stack'up'your'experience.
Also,'it's'a'good'idea'to'structure'your'beginner'game'to'make'it'easy'to'nd'
aws'in'it.'In'other'words,'s2ck'to'the'funnel,'s2ck'to'the'progression'model,'
because'it'will'make'it'simpler'to'pinpoint'what'you're'doing'wrong.'Do'not,'
however,'try'to'use'all'the'techniques'and'concepts'at'the'same'2me.'Pick'a'
couple'of'them'at'a'2me'and'apply'liberally.
When'you'understand'in'detail'what'a'part'of'the'progression'model'is'meant'
to'achieve,'you'll'develop'an'intui2on'for'how'to'achieve'it'through'other'
means,'and'you'can'then'decide'on'which'parts'to'simply'skip,'because'you're'
basically'managing'to'do'controlled'extensions.
When'discussing'beginner'game,'consider'this'sort'of'a'blueprint'that'you'can'
start'out'with,'which'will'be'tweaked'over'2me'to'suit'your'own'personal'style'
and'desires,'but'also'to'implement'more'advanced'concepts.
First'of'all,'keep'the'list'of'poten2al'proles'empty,'meaning'you'spend'the'
2me'to'leR'or'right'swipe'all%of%the%available%proles.'Go'in'oRen'and'make'
sure'they'are'gone.'I'suggest'you'adopt'The'Right'Way(tm),'simply'because'you'
can'get'a'lot'of'experience'from'girls'you'match'with'that'you're'not'
necessarily'super'interested'in.'Focus'on'just'geQng'volume.
Then,'work'the'funnel'for'what'it's'worth.'Use'it'to'troubleshoot'all'the'parts'of'
it,'so'you'know'where'to'put'in'work'and'you'know'what'kind'of'work'to'put'
in.
Be'in'a'state'of'constant'tweaking.'Tweak'and'test'your'pictures,'take'more,'get'
more'matches.'Try'dierent'approaches,'and'do'so'structured.'Decide'for'
yourself'that'you'll'try'a'new'opener'ten'2mes.'Decide'that'you'll'overextend'
controlled'with'ten'prospects'to'see'what'happens.'Get'volume,'get'exposure,'
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get'experience.'And'constantly'adjust'the'dierent'stages'of'your'funnel,'
making'note'of'what'actually'works'best.
Go'on'dates'in'venues.'When'these'dates'start'geQng'2ght'and'end'up'with'
you'going'back'to'your'or'her'place,'move'on'to'the'Intermediate'game'
sec2on.'Un2l'then,'s2ck'to'da2ng'for'30'minutes'to'an'hour,'or'however'long'
feels'natural.'And'use'the'sexualizing'an'interac2on'technique'aRer'the'meet,'
no'maXer'how'badly'it'went.'It'will'teach'you'to'overcome'objec2ons.'
If'at'all'possible,'try'to'talk'about'something'during'the'rst'date'that'gives'you'
a'reason'to'meet'up'again,'refer'to'Future'Adventure'Projec2on.'I'met'with'this'
really'cute'20'year'old,'and'I'talked'about'the'movie'The'Graduate'(1967),'I'
think'because'the'place'we'were'at'had'the'soundtrack'come'on.'I'told'her'that'
we'needed'to'see'that'movie'the'next'2me'we'met.
A'week'later'she'was'watching'the'movie'on'my'arm'in'my'bed.
Make'sure'you'have'made'your'statement'of'intent'before'you'meet'the'next'
2me.'It'should'come'as'no'surprise'to'her'that'you'have'sexual'inten2ons.'If'
she'is'reluctant'to'meet'you,'steal'the'screening'frame.'If'you've'been'
overextending,'let%her%pace%you.'Listen'to'her,'because'she'will'probably'tell'
you'fairly'bluntly'what'you're'doing'wrong.'If'you'nd'it's'worth'your'2me'and'
eort,'adjust'to'her'pace'and'meet'up'again.'Just'make'sure'your'inten2on'is'
clear'and'you'know'when'you're'being'taken'advantage'of.
You'should'keep'da2ng'the'same'girl'as'long'as'youre'enjoying'yourself.'
However,'you'need'to'keep'in'mind'that'you'might'be'taken'for'a'ride,'so'keep'
your'eyes'open'to'make'sure'youre'not'overinves2ng'in'a'bad'prospect.
If'you'nd'that'you'have,'you'need'to'do'a'hard'screen.'The'community'will'
shout'next,'but'nex2ng'is'oRen'a'liXle'premature'and'childish.'What'I'
recommend'is'seQng'the'stage'for'one'of'two'things'to'happen.
First,'you'could'express'your'concern.'This'isnt'working'for'me'is'a'good'way'
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to'do'this.'Shell'be'sucked'into'this'open'loop,'and'allow'you'to'explain'that'
you'need'the'rela2onship'or'whatever'you'choose'to'call'it'to'go'somewhere'it'
doesnt'currently'seem'to'be'going.
Keep'in'mind'that'chances'are'things'have'become'stale'because'you'currently'
suck'at'this.'Its'very'seldom'her'fault'alone.'So'get'back'on'track,'rebalance'
your'respec2ve'expecta2ons'and'keep'pushing'forward'if'it'makes'sense.'If'it'
doesnt,'friend'zone'her.'It'drives'women'crazy'to'be'friend'zoned'from'a'
roman2c'rela2onship'and'chances'are'shell'get'drunk'and'call'you'over'the'
next'three'weeks.'This'is'a'good'2me'to'bang'it'out'of'your'respec2ve'systems,'
as'its'probably'what'shes'looking'for'also.
If'this'fails,'it'is'2me'to'cut'your'losses,'screen'her'out'and'move'on.
This'is'beginner'game.

208

Intermediate&game
When'you've'bedded'a'reasonable'amount'of'women,'say'5g10,'whenever'you'
feel'ready,'it's'2me'to'take'o'the'training'wheels.'You'will'no'doubt'have'
deviated'from'all'scripts,'concepts'and'techniques'presented'herein'by'then,'
and'there's'nothing'wrong'with'that.'It's'also'OK'to'return'to'them'and'look'at'
them'for'inspira2on'every'once'in'a'while;'we'all'need'occasional'tunegups.
At'its'core,'however,'becoming'beXer'when'you're'already'good'is'about'
swapping'out'my'experiences'and'2ps'with'your'own.'Do'you'need'a'funnel'or'
is'it'a'hassle?'Do'you'ins2nc2vely'know'what'you're'doing'wrong?
Perhaps'you'have'a'beXer'system'for'managing'your'live'contacts.'Some'
people'prefer'just'blocking'contacts'and'just'bumping'interes2ng'contacts'to'
the'top'when'they'feel'like'it.
At'this'stage'you'probably'also'have'a'feel'for'what'kind'of'dates'you'prefer'
going'on'and'how'hard'you'can'push'for'a'meet.'This'is'a'good'2me'to'go'on'a'
quest'to'constantly'overextend'to'push'for'mee2ngs'quicker'and'with'less%
eort.'Youll'be'able'to'calibrate'your'speed'by'looking'at'her'prole'text'and'
her'pictures.'Youll'know'how'to'handle'it'when'she'ini2ates'the'conversa2on.
At'this'point'your'pictures'should'be'really'good,'you'should'have'a'lot'of'
matches'that'you'can'burn'if'you'want.'You'should'also'be'geQng'a'feeling'for'
what'girls'want'when'you'meet'up,'so'it's'easier'to'bring'them'straight'home'if'
logis2cs'permit.
When'you'get'to'this'level,'you'probably'have'a'huge'subset'of'the'techniques'
down.'I'recommend'you'skim'them'again'and'dip'into'the'sec2ons'that'are'
unclear'or'the'ones'that'look'interes2ng.
It'is'important'that'you'understand'that'the'9ghtness&of&your&early&game&is&
going&to&have&a&huge&impact&on&what&you&can&get&away&with&later.'If'you'have'
really'good'pictures,'you'can'push'for'a'meet'with'less'investment.'If'you'do'
well'in'a'date'situa2on,'you'can'extract'her'back'to'your'place'quicker.
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Things'that'were'an'overextension'with'worse'pictures'could'easily'be'going'a'
bit'slow'with'beXer'ones.'At'this'point'you'should'be'beXer'at'seeing%windows%
of%opportunity,%both%online%and%in%real%life.

Example:&Martha&(21)

No'prole'text,'15'miles'away.
T: Finally! A Match with Purpose(tm)
M: Hehe you haven't have many of those?:p
T: Most of them seem quite meaningless. You're quite a bit
away, where are you?
M: Yes it's often like that in places like this :p A little
outside the city A :) what about you ?
T: I am in Wellknown Street in City A, of course. Are you in
here a lot?
M: Of course? Favorite place? :P yes, almost every day :)
T: I just live here. That's good to hear.
T: I am a little skeptical of chatting for hours on end with
people I don't know on my cellphone, let's meet for a cup of
beer an afternoon.
M: Ok :) Nice place to live :) I don't know if it's good,
it's a long way :p yes, perhaps that's an idea, I'm a little
skeptical of meeting people I don't know :p
T: That's why we're on Tinder. You never get to know anyone
by just sending each other parts of the alphabet.
M: Hehe true true :p
T: There's a nice place just down the street which serves
outdoors, Place A. Unless you have another favorite place.
M: No I don't :)
T: OK :) When is a good time?
M: Hum, I'm uncertain:p Some time next week..
M: Let's figure out a little later? I need to see when I
have my shifts at work :)
T: Cool. I'm meeting a buddy at place B in ten minutes,
we'll talk next week. :) You're cute.
M: Yes, let's :) thank you!:)

Ok,'so'a'simple'of'breakdown'of'the'interac2on.'I'open'with'something'a'liXle'
o'beat'and'sort'of'an'open'loop,'and'switch'directly'to'working'logis2cs.'Then'
I'move'to'set'up'the'meet'by's2gma2za2on,'and'crush'the'token'resistance'
with'common'sense.'I'suggest'a'place,'and'when'she'says'she'doesn't'have'
another'favorite,'I'do'some'crea2ve'misinterpreta2on'to'assume'that'she's'
agreeing'to'the'meet.
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And'that's'it.'I'm'saving'this'example'for'the'intermediate'sec2on,'because'the'
reason'I'can'move'this'quickly'is'highly'dependent'on'the'quality'of'my'
pictures.'True,'this'is'a'loose'mee2ng,'but'the'real'meets'look'preXy'much'the'
same'and'I'added'this'example'because'of'the'resistance'and'the'crea2ve'
misinterpreta2on.

Example:&Penny&(31)
3'miles'away.'Prole'text:

Swipe'leR'if'u'just'want'to'get'laid'and/or'your'prole'pic'is'a'phoneging
mirrorgsansgshirtgstraightgabs'sele.'Swipe'right'if'you'wanna'meet'cool'new'
people,'enjoy'life'and'can'have'a'full'conversa2on'using'quotes'from'step'
brothers,'wedding'crashers,'meet'the'parents'etc.
Tuesday'night.
T: Youre better than most people.
P: At what?
T: Most things.
P: Ill take that as a compliment, but considering youre a
stranger from the internet, its also borderline creepy.
T: Fair.
P: :) thanks
T: Im a little skeptical of texting with strangers for
hours on end on my cellphone. Lets meet for a cup of beer.
P: Im skeptical of people who say cup of beer.
T: And so you should be.

Wednesday'morning.
P: Where does one get a cup of beer?
T: I can think of a bunch of places. But I thought Id let
you decide, so I could get some insight into your life.
P: Brother Jimmys?
P: Kidding. Id suggest Place A in union sq. What insight
into my life does that suggestion provide you with?
P: And here is my number, we can talk in the real world.
Youve peaked my interest. [Gives #]
T: Excellent. Youll hear from me when you least expect it.
P: As long as its not after 10pm on a school night youll
hear back.

No2ce'the'pausing,'not'pushing,'silence'tension'that'she'lls.
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Example:&Ally&(24)

4'miles'away.'Prole'text:
Everything'can'change'in'the'blink'of'an'eye
T: Finally
P: :)
T: Youre far away, where you at?
P: It says 4 miles.
P: Place, New York
T: 4 miles seems like the distance equivalent of an
eternity. Im in uws currently.
P: Why is that?
T: Im just being cute and overly dramatic.
T: You remind me of that girl from New Girl.
P: I havent seen that show, but I will check it out
T: Cool. Im a little skeptical of texting with people I
dont know for hours on end. Lets meet for a cup of beer.
P: Skeptical of texting but ok with meeting?
T: Yes. I just feel its hard to get to know someone my
sending a bunch of texts. But its easy face-to-face.
P: Good point. I have plans for today. But maybe tomorrow
T: Great. Itll be fun.
P: Here is my cell [#]

Hopefully,'a'paXern'should'be'emerging.

Example:&Kat&(29)
22'miles'away.'Prole'text:
Pull'up'your'socks'and'pump'up'your'Reeboks!!
T: Finally.
K: ?
T: A Match with Meaning.
K: Haha How do u know?
T: Male intuition. Where you at?
K: I'm in Place. U? I always thought it was a females
intuition that mattered* :)
T: Female intuition matters to you guys. I'm near Nth
street, west.
T: I'm a little skeptical of chatting for hours on end with

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strangers on my phone. Let's meet for a cup of beer.

K: Ok coolI'm walking distance from the train
K: Ok I'm up for that Sat?
T: Saturday sounds good. In the early afternoon?

Decide%on%1me%and%place.

Example&roundup

I'said'I'd'give'you'another'script,'but'then'not.'You'can'see'a'clear'paXern'in'
the'previous'examples,'and'it'is%a%script.'I'can'have'a'varia2on'of'that'
conversa2on'and'set'up'a'meet'like'that'in'85%'of'the'cases.'Some2mes'I'need'
to'handle'token'objec2ons.'Some2mes'I'need'to'pull'in'some'rabbits'from'my'
hat,'as'seen'in'previous'examples.'But'most'of'the'2me'I'don't'have'to.
I'urge'you'to'try'it'too.'If'you'can't'do'it,'you'need'to'understand'why'this'is'
intermediate'game.'It's'not'because'saying'these'lines'are'harder'than'saying'
anything'else,'it's'because'of'a'beXer'funnel.'BeXer'pictures.'BeXer'harnessing'
of'momentum.'More'experience.'BeXer'2ming.
You'want'to'get'to'this'point,'but'you'need'to'understand'that'all'preceding'
parts'of'your'funnel'will'need'tuning.
That's'why'it's'not'a'script,'in'the'common'sense.'It's'not'what'you'say.'It's'not'
how'you'say'it.'It's'who'says'it.

213

Advanced&game
You're'on'your'own,'and'you'can'write'your'own'book'on'the'subject.'Chances'
are'it'will'end'up'beXer'than'this.'You'can'brag'to'your'friends'and'pick'the'
cutest'girl'of'the'bunch'and'date'her'when'you'want.
You'should'feel'that'all'this'exposure'to'women'rubs'o'to'the'rest'of'your'life.'
Don't'be'surprised'if'you'start'feeling'more'asser2ve'and'condent'as'a'result'
of'it.
I'hope'you'enjoyed'the'book.

Appendices
Don't'stop'reading'quite'yet!'I've'packaged'a'bunch'of'related'informa2on'into'
appendices'for'this'book.'You'll'nd'informa2on'on'how'to'take'good'pictures,'
how'to'post'process'them,'a'discussion'on'the'ethics'of'da2ng'and'what'to'be'
aware'of,'some'resources'I've'been'referencing'through'out,'and'last'but'not'
least:'A'bunch'of'real'life'reports'that'ended'with'sex.'
I've'been'saving'these'for'last,'not'because'they're'not'important'but'because'
the'structure'of'the'book'was'asking'for'it.'I'wanted'you'to'start'reading'and'
get'up'to'speed'as'quickly'as'possible.'This'sec2on'will'give'you'some'in'depth'
informa2on'and'a'taste'how'this'looks'when'all'put'together.'Hopefully'it'will'
inspire'you'to'go'back'and'revisit'the'previous'sec2ons,'and'I'hope'it'will'
provide'a'deeper'meaning'to'the'things'you've'already'read.

Appendix&A:&Keep&in&touch
iGNITE&Mobile&Da9ng&Website
This'book'could'have'been'ten'2mes'as'long,'and'more'concepts'could'have'
been'discussed.'I'want'to'keep'it'short'and'sweet,'however,'for'a'number'of'
reasons.'The'rst'is'that'you'probably'won't'bother'reading'800'pages,'and'the'
reten2on'rate'will'go'down.'Also,'you'll'quickly'get'to'a'point'where'you'need'
to'interact'with'someone'to'make'sense'of'the'informa2on.
That's'why'we've'setup'the'site'hXp://www.ignitemobileda2ng.com'
Come'join'us,'ask'ques2ons,'share'experiences.'It's'a'way'to'future'proof'the'
contents'of'the'book.'Also,'a'lot'of'the'concepts'are'just'beXer'when'discussed'
in'a'more'visual'way.

Follow&us&on&TwiZer&and&Facebook
TwiXer:'hXps://twiXer.com/iGNITEMobDa2ng
Facebook:'hXps://www.facebook.com/iGNITEMobileDa2ng

Appendix&B:&General&photography&9ps
Here'are'some'general'photography'2ps'that'should'be'easy'to'implement'by'
anyone'regardless'of'ar2s2c'ability.'In'short,'just'read'these'short'sec2ons'and'
keep'them'in'mind'when'you'plan'your'pictures.
Take&responsibility&for&the&full&frame.'We've'all'seen'the'horribly'funny'picture'
of'an'unfortunate'girl'who's'taking'a'sele'in'the'bathroom.'But'she'forgot'to'
ush.'Embarrassing?'Absolutely.
It'is'your'job'to'make'sure'stu'like'this'doesn't'happen'to'you.'Make'sure'the'
background'is'pleasant'as'well'as'looking'good'yourself.
One&problem&when&guys&take&pictures&of&each&other&is&that&they&take&pictures&
from&their&own&eye&level.'Guys'tend'to'be'taller'than'girls,'and'this'point'of'
view'invariably'makes'the'subject'look'shorter'than'he'really'is.'To'remedy'this,'
shoot'from'an'approximate'chest'level'of'the'subject,'as'this'will'be'where'
most'girls'see'the'person'from.
The'posi2ve'ip'side'of'this'is'that'guys'who'are'short'will'seem'taller.'If'you'
look'at'lms'with'short'actors,'like'for'instance'Tom'Cruise,'you'll'see'this'trick'
employed'all'the'2me.'It'is'really'hard'to'get'a'rm'grasp'of'Tom'Cruise's'real'
rela2ve'height'unless'he'is'in'a'full'body'shot'with'another'actor.'Shoo2ng'at'
middle'chest'level'is'one'important'component'of'this'eect.
Avoid&taking&too&many&"staged"&photos.'Some'of'the'best'photos'that'will'
ever'be'taken'of'you'are'ones'where'you're'not'aware'that'you're'being'
photographed.'Have'your'friends'take'pictures'of'you'over'the'span'of'a'couple'
of'hours,'and'do'the'same'for'them.'Don't'discriminate'when'you're'capturing,'
just'snap'away.'You'll'get'a'lot'of'captures'where'you're'doing'stu'and'not'
consciously'puQng'on'a'face'for'the'camera.'A'lot'of'these'pictures'are'
probably'as'photogenic'as'you'will'ever'get.
It'is'also'possible'to'"fake"'candids.'It'is'sort'of'a'last'resort,'but'once'you'nail'it'
it'becomes'easy.'Make'absolutely'sure'that'you'have'some'candid'pictures'in'
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your'poruolio.
Posing&is&hard.
Posing'is'hard'for'professional'models'and'professional'photographers'
instruc2ng.'In'a'way,'when'working'with'subjects,'the'communica2on'between'
photographer'and'model'is'the'hard'part,'the'ar2s2c'part.'Dialling'in'the'right'
seQngs'on'the'camera'is'more'of'a'craR'and'is'more'easily'learned.
This'doesn't'mean'that'you'shouldn't'try.'Put'your'gay'glasses'on'and'scour'
through'the'Internet'and'magazines'for'pictures'where'guys'look'really'great.'
How'are'they'posing?'Where'is'their'aXen2on?'How'is'their'body'angled'
towards'the'camera?'What'parts'of'their'body'are'visible,'what'is'obscured?'
Regarding'angling'of'your'body,'if'you'angle'your'body'straight'onto'the'
camera,'it'will'obviously'look'bigger'than'if'you'angle'your'shoulders.'The'
camera'will'oRen'exaggerate'this'eect,'however,'so'it'might'be'worthwhile'to'
experiment'with'your'angling'to'get'the'eect'you'want.
When'taking'pictures,'the'rst'thing'youll'see'that'separates'amateurs'from'
professionals'is'the'selec9on&of&backgrounds.'An'amateur'will'oRen'focus'on'
the'subject,'ligh2ng'and'posing,'but'can'situate'the'subject'in'front'of'a'really'
cluXered'and'distrac2ng'background.
Im'not'saying'that'you'should'go'to'France'and'pose'in'front'of'the'Eiel'
Tower.'Just'be'mindful'of'the'background,'and'make'sure'its'not'compromising'
and'distrac2ng,'and'it'partakes'in'the'story'you'want'to'convey.
Then'move'on'with'the'same'pictures'and'look'at'how&they're&lit.
When'working'with'light'in'photography,'we'oRen'discuss'the'"quality'of'light".'
Simply'put,'this'is'oRen'just'a'fancy'way'of'saying'"what'is'the'rela2ve'size'of'
the'light'source".

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A'larger'light'source'will'create'higher'quality'light.'This'is'because'the'light'will'
hit'the'subject'from'many'angles'at'once'and'wrap'around'it.'It'will'll'the'
pores'of'your'skin'and'make'it'look'younger,'smoother'and'healthier.'
You'd'be'tempted'to'think'that'direct'sunlight'is'high'quality'light,'but'it'is'not.'
The'sun'is'big,'but'it'is'very'far'away,'and'for'all'intents'and'purposes'is'more'of'
a'point'light.'It'will'cast'harsh'shadows'in'your'face'and'create'very'unaXering'
images.
If'you're'shoo2ng'outdoors,'you'll'be'way'beXer'shoo2ng'on'a'day'with'
overcast.'Also,'consider'indirect'light.'Light'bounces'o'all'bright'surfaces,'and'
if'you'manage'to'get'sunlight'bounced'o'a'white'wall,'the'quality'of'this'light'
is'bound'to'be'way'higher'than'direct'sunlight,'as'the'light'will'scaXer'from'the'
imperfec2ons'of'the'wall.
Indoors'it'can'be'preXy'easy'to'nd'high'quality'light'sources.'IKEAglamps,'the'
tall,'standing'kind'with'a'paper'screen'around'them'make'a'preXy'big'light'
source.'Also,'you'can'point'a'spot'light'into'the'roof'if'it'is'white.
In'terms'of'ligh2ng,'always'turn'o'the'on'camera'ash'if'it'cannot'be'swivelled'
around.'A'straight'ash'shot'creates'the'most'unaXering'images'you'can'
imagine,'but'you'might'have'only'seen'these'kinds'of'pictures'of'yourself'and'
be'lead'to'believe'that'youre'not'photogenic.
Flash'should'only'be'used'in'"ll'mode"'(lling'in'shadows'created'by,'say,'
direct'sunlight),'or'"bounced"'(meaning'you'can'ip'the'ash'head'around'and'
bounce'the'light'o'a'ceiling'or'wall).'
Unless'you'become'a'seasoned'photographer,'you'might'as'well'turn'o'the'
ash'for'now,'even'the'lights'on'your'cellphone.'If'nothing'else,'just'to'see'the'
dierence.
A'really'nice'eect'is'to'backlight'or'rim'light,'basically'meaning'you'put'
yourself'in'front'of'a'light'that'is'shining'in'the'direc2on'of'the'camera.'This'
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oRen'presents'a'drama2c'eect,'and'can'create'a'very'nice'wraparound'light.
We'could'go'into'details'about'dierent'ways'to'light'for'portraiture,'like'split'
ligh2ng'and'two'thirds,'but'the'basic'rule'of'thumb'is'going'to'be'to'simply'
make'it'look'good.'This'oRen'involves'making'dierent'parts'of'the'face'be'lit'
up'with'dierent'amounts'of'light.'Dierent'faces'will'respond'dierently'to'
this.
Yeah,'a'lot'of'you'are'going'to'whine'about'this,'but'I'll'put'it'bluntly:'Use&
makeup.
Makeup'is'used'by'all'professional'male'models'and'actors,'and'for'a'reason.'
You'just'look'a'lot'beXer.
If'you're'the'outgoing'kind,'visit'a'local'store'and'ask'the'help.'They'will'try'to'
sell'you'a'concealer,'a'base,'powder,'eyeliner'and'mascara.'They'will'probably'
also'try'to'get'you'to'use'some'kind'of'sun'powder.'If'you'choose'to'go'this'
route,'tell'them'to'show'you'how'to'apply'it'in'a'way'that'looks'natural,'and'
they'll'happily'do'so'at'most'places.'Take'notes.
All'of'these'can'be'good,'but'they'also'tend'to'be'expensive.'A'full'setup'with'
brushes'can'easily'set'you'back'a'couple'of'hundred'dollars'or'more,'
depending'on'the'brands.
I'personally'only'use'three'things'in'my'arsenal'right'now.'A'BBgcream,'eyeliner'
and'mascara.
The'BBgcream'is'a'beauty/blemishgcream.'Nudie'from'L'Oreal'is'really'good'for'
my'skin'and'fairly'inexpensive.'It'is'also'easy'to'choose'the'right'one,'as'it'
comes'in'just'a'few'varia2ons.'What%is%going%to%work%for%your%skin%is%going%to%be%
dierent%than%what%is%going%to%work%for%me,%so%do%your%research.
Just'put'some'of'it'on'your'hand'and'gently'put'stu'on'your'nger'and'rub'it'
on'the'face'on'your'skin.'Make'sure'it's'distributed'fairly'evenly.'Especially'
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make'sure'it'tapers'o'nicely'when'you'reach'your'neck.'Also'hairlines'and'
beard'lines.'If'you'do'this'correctly,'it'will'not'look'like'you're'using'makeup.'If'
it'does,'you're'doing'it'wrong.
Mascara'is'great'for'making'your'eyes'pop.'Just'apply'liberally'on'top'and'
boXom'lashes.'Chances'are'it'will'not'be'visible'in'any'photos,'it'will'just'make'
your'eyes'look'beXer.
The'same'goes'for'the'eyeliners,'it'just'gives'your'eyes'deni2on.'I'use'the'
eyeliner'on'the'outer'half'of'my'boXom'waterline.
This'is'also'makeup'you'can'wear'when'you'go'out'on'the'town.'I'do'every'2me'
I'go'out,'and'people'never'no2ce.'I'just'look'beXer.'It'might'be'a'liXle'
uncomfortable'the'rst'2me'because'you're'self'conscious,'but'it'really'does'
make'you'look'a'lot'beXer'and'younger.
Experiment'with'focal&length.'If'you'have'a'zoom'lens,'move'away'from'the'
subject'and'zoom'in'as'far'as'possible.'This'will'wash'away'more'of'the'
perspec2ve,'and'make'most'people'look'beXer.'It'will'basically'create'the'
opposite'eect'of'taking'a'portrait'through'a'sheye'lens,'where'most'of'your'
features'will'be'exaggerated.

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Depending'on'the'quality'of'your'lens,'it'will'also'help'you'make'the'
background'out'of'focus.'Try'to'make'some'distance'between'the'subject'and'
the'background,'open'the'lens'as'much'as'possible'(low'Fgnumber)'and'zoom'
in'as'long'as'possible.
This'very'desirable'eect'is'one'of'the'reasons'why'you'might'want'to'choose'
to'purchase'a'xed'length'lens.'It'will'give'you'this'eect'in'abundance,'and'
just'make'all'your'portraits'look'beXer.
If'you're'working'with'a'DSLR'with'a'1.6'crop'factor,'anything'between'85mm'
and'135mm'will'give'you'good'results.'On'a'micro'four'thirdsgcamera,'the'
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rela2vely'inexpensive'45mm'from'Olympus'gives'me'repeatable'good'results.
Youll'want'to'get'into'the'habit'of'taking'seles'as'oRen'as'possible.'
Depending'of'the'dierent'looks'you'get,'these'might'make'their'way'into'a'
Tinder'prole,'and'depending'on'the'technology'youre'using,'they'might'also'
come'in'handy'on'Snapchat.
Taking'seles'was'sort'of'a'revela2on'for'me,'as'I'was'never'really'happy'with'
pictures'others'took'of'me.'Seles'allow'you'to'compose'your'own'pictures,'
and'the'photographergtogmodelgloop'is'a'lot'shorter.'
Suddenly,'nding'the'"good'side"'to'pose'from'is'easy,'doing'a'sweep'for'the'
right'background'is'easy,'tes2ng'to'see'how'the'camera'reacts'to'dierent'rim'
lights'is'preXy'easy.
In'a'sense,'I'guess'you'could'say'that'seles'can'help'you'learn'how'to'be'
photogenic.

223

Appendix&C:&Photoshop
In'this'day'and'age,'anyone'can'do'professional'level'processing'with'dirt'cheap'
or'even'free'apps'for'mobile'phone'and'desktop.'There'is'no'reason'not'to'do'
this;'everyone'else'does.
So,'this'sec2on'is'named'"Photoshop",'but'you'really'don't'need'to'use'the'
actual'Photoshop'product'for'it.'Photoshopping'has'turned'into'a'verb'these'
days,'and'it'is'sort'of'synonymous'with'processing'your'images.
There'will'be'numerous'mobile'apps'that'do'most'of'these'tasks'fairly'well'if'
you'don't'want'to'splurge'on'a'Photoshop'license.'There'is'also'a'cheap'version'
of'Photoshop'called'Photoshop'Elements'which'might'be'of'some'interest'to'
you.
Some'processing'is'just'icing,'like'adding'a'color'lter'in'Instagram.'It'is'also'
possible'to'do'some'deeper'processing'to'appear'more'aXrac2ve'and'get'more'
matches.
We'll'look'at'both.
This&sec9on&will&only&give&you&a&really&brief&introduc9on&to&photo&
manipula9on&as&the&scope&needs&to&be&kept&down.&There&are&a&lot&of&excellent&
resources&out&there,&and&YouTube&will&give&you&a&lot&of&pointers.&I&include&this&
sec9on&mainly&because&it&will&give&you&the&correct&rough&outlines&of&how&to&
approach&this&topic,&as&well&as&some&helpful&search&terms.&Do&not&expect&to&
become&a&Photoshop&guru&by&reading&this.

In'the'context'of'this'text,'"Enhancements"'means'making'yourself'look'beXer'
through'slightly'dishonest'means.'This'is'the'kind'of'Photoshopping'people'are'
raging'against'in'the'fashion'world,'where'everyone'has'perfect'skin,'slim'
waistlines'and'generally'look'like'supermodels.
We're'not'going'to'aim'for'making'you'look'like'a'supermodel,'instead'we're'
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just'going'to'gently'tweak'some'of'the'parameters'a'2ny'bit'in'your'favor.'
Remember,'a'liXle'goes'a'long'way.

Skin&healing
The'simplest'way'to'do'skin&healing'is'to'use'the'Photoshop'spot'healing'
brush.'This'will'basically'remove'blemishes'with'the'click'of'a'buXon.'You'can'
do'this'directly'on'the'layer'containing'your'picture.
If'you'need'to'balance'out'larger'areas'of'skin,'you'can'use'the'eye'picker'tool'
to'nd'a'part'of'your'skin'that'has'the'desired'color'and'just'use'the'brush'tool'
to'paint'over'the'exis2ng'skin'on'a'new'layer.'When'you've'done'this,'it'will'
look'extremely'fake,'but'just'dial'down'the'opacity'for'the'new'layer,'and'it'will'
blend'nicely'into'the'exis2ng'picture.
The'Photoshop'shortcut'for'bringing'up'the'skin'heal'tool'is'J.'If'you'hold'shiR'
while'pressing'J,'you'will'cycle'through'dierent'kinds'of'skin'healing'tools.'I'
prefer'the'spot'healing'tool,'selected'in'this'image.

You'can'change'the'size'of'the'brush'using'the'hard'bracket'keys,'['and'].'The'
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spot'healing'brush'works'best'if'you'do'single'clicks,'not'click'and'drag.'
Some2mes'it'will'smudge'the'areas'around'the'brush'somewhat'unaXeringly.'
If'this'happens,'just'undo'with'CtrlgZ,'change'the'brush'size'and'try'again.
You'can'use'the'liquify'lter'to'body&sculpt.'Make'sure'you'pick'a'brush'of'the'
right'size'(use'the'['and']gkeys'to'quickly'change'brush'size'using'the'keyboard)'
and'make'small'adjustments.'Make'sure'you'dont'aect'the'background,'as'
this'gives'away'that'the'pictures'have'been'doctored.
You'can'also'preXy'convincingly'paint'on'some'features'like'abs'by'slightly'
exaggera2ng'the'shadows'that'are'already'there.'Just'pick'a'part'of'the'body'
with'a'darker'skin'tone,'paint'it'on'with'the'brush'on'a'dierent'layer'and'
lower'the'opacity'un2l'it'is'no'longer'visible.

Jawline
There'are'two'quick'ways'to'give'you'a'more'manly'jawline,'and'this'is'an'
aXrac2on'trigger'with'a'lot'of'women.'First,'you'can'use'the'liquify'lter'with'a'
fairly'large'brush'to'just'nudge'out'the'jaw.'Also,'using'a'dark'brush'on'a'
dierent'layer,'subtly'add'some'more'shadow'under'the'jawline,'and'adjust'
opacity'down.'
Remember,'if'you'can'see'it,'you're'overdoing'it.

Removing&grey&hair
Use'the'colorize'tool'in'photoshop'in'correspondence'with'the'eyedropper'to'
remove'unwanted'greys.'Again,'this'can'be'used'on'a'separate'layer'and'have'
its'opacity'dropped'to'create'the'desired'eect.
Whatever'you'do,'dont'overdo'this,'if'you'decide'to'do'it'at'all.'If'you'get'
caught'doctoring'your'pictures,'youll'basically'look'like'a'fool.'To'understand'
how'badly'this'will'look,'do'a'google'search'for'Photoshop'fail'and'bathe'in'
the'scathing'feedback'that'is'given'to'the'poor'people.
If'you'can'see'the'eect,'youve'overdone'it.'If'it'changes'the'background,'be'
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extremely'wary.
A'lot'of'the'stu'that'is'usually'done'in'Photoshop'is'similar'to'the'work'that'is'
done'in'the'classic'dark'room.'If'pictures'taken'with'a'digital'camera'aren't'
processed'in'one'way'or'another,'the'data'really'wouldn't'easy'to'interpret'to'
the'human'eye.
In'a'sense,'all'digital'images'are'processed,'only'we'don't'think'of'it'that'way'
because'it'oRen'happens'with'soRware'in'the'camera.'There'is,'in'other'words,'
nothing'inherently'wrong'with'processing'your'images,'it'has'to'happen'
anyway.

Color&lters
Color'lters'might'be'best'handled'in'mobile'apps'like'Instagram'and'the'like.'
They'usually'come'with'rather'impressive'lter'packs'that'give'instant'results.'
Here'are'a'couple'of'applica2ons'for'your'respec2ve'phones:
6snap'is'a'third'party'Snapchat'client'for'Windows'Phone.'6snap'has'built'in'a'
set'of'excellent'lters'and'a'selec2ve'blur'tool.'The'kicker'is'that'these'pictures'
can'be'saved'to'your'photo'reel'and'loaded'at'a'later'2me'if'needed.'To'do'
quick'sele'manipula2on,'6snap'is'very'good.
Repix'on'iPhone'is'free'and'contains'a'bunch'of'good'looking'lters.
On'iPhone'and'Android,'also'check'out'the'Pixlrgproducts.'They'also'have'a'
good'online'oering.

Selec9ve&focus
Expensive'cameras'have'the'ability'to'create'a'"shallow'depth'of'eld".'This'is'a'
fancy'way'of'saying'that'some'parts'of'the'image'will'be'blurred'while'some'
will'not;'some'parts'will'be'in'focus,'some'parts'will'be'out.
The'benet'of'this'is'that'you'can'separate'the'subject'(you)'from'a'messy'
background'and'make'yourself'"pop".'It'is'easy'to'lead'the'eye'to'whatever'is'in'
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focus.'Also,'it'looks'stylish.
Keep'in'mind'when'applying'selec2ve'blur'to'always'keep'your'eyes'in'focus.'As'
with'all'rules,'it'can'be'broken,'but'unless'you're'going'for'a'very'specic'aruul'
look'and'know'what'you're'doing,'this'is'a'keeper.
A'simple'way'to'achieve'this'eect'is'to'duplicate'the'main'layer'and'then'blur'
it'using'the'lter'Gaussian'blur.'You'can'then'create'a'layer'mask'for'the'
blurred'layer'and'use'gradient'tools'on'the'mask'to'make'the'eect'blend'in'
selec2vely.
If'you'search'for'the'term,'there'are'now'mobile'apps'that'will'apply'the'same'
eect'to'your'pictures.

Black&and&white&processing
Black'and'white'processing'isn't'a'mere'opera2on'of'"removing'color"'from'an'
image,'it'can'be'done'in'a'number'of'ways.'Imagine'a'picture'with'a'red'cloth'
on'a'table.'Removing'the'red'from'this'cloth'might'turn'the'color'into'a'neutral'
grey.'You'could'also'process'this'red'to'become'a'darker'grey,'giving'the'image'
more'"punch".
Image'processing'soRware'allows'you'to'process'color'to'black'and'white'in'a'
variety'of'ways,'so'don't'just'seXle'for'a'"desaturated"'image;'experiment'with'
dierent'ways'of'B/Wgconversion'to'nd'the'processing'that'gives'the'image'
some'character.

Applica9ons
If'you'cannot'nd'anything'to'your'liking'in'this'short'list,'Google'will'help'you'
out'in'a'jiy'if'you'need'photo'manipula2on'apps.'Helpful'search'strings'will'be'
"instagram'lters",'"photo'eects",'etc,'oRen'paired'with'the'plauorm'of'
choice.'Respec2ve'app'stores'will'obviously'also'be'helpful.

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Appendix&D:&Ethics
I'want'to'get'this'out'of'the'way.'Just'brutal'honesty.'You'want'to'get'laid'more,'
you'want'to'get'laid'with'beXer'looking'women,'younger'women,'hoXer'
women'or'just'sex'crazed'teenyboppers.'Or'not.'No'maXer'what'your'end'goal'
with'this'is,'be'it'banging'teens'or'geQng'a'girlfriend'to'seXle'down'with,'Ill'
try'to'have'your'bases'covered.'There'is'absolutely'nothing'wrong'with'having'
desires'and'wan2ng'to'supercharge'your'sex'life.'There'is'also'nothing'wrong'
with'striving'for'a'solid'and'long'las2ng'rela2onship.

Lying&and&chea9ng
To'become'truly'eec2ve'at'this,'some2mes'you'have'to'bend'the'truth'a'liXle.'
No,'I'promised'to'be'blunt,'and'be'brutally'honest.'Some2mes'you'have'to'be'a'
lowlife'lying,'chea2ng'scumbag'to'achieve'your'goals,'depending,'of'course,'on'
how'loRy'they'are.'If'your'mission'in'life'is'to'bang'as'many'hot'18'year'old'girls'
as'possible,'it'simply'will'not'happen'if'your'Tinder'prole'is'shou2ng'out'that'
youre'Ry'years'old.'Even'if'you'are.'Chances'are'most'girls'on'the'service'will'
not'even'see'your'prole.
This'is'a'double'edged'problem.'Many'women'might'nd'you'aXrac2ve'
regardless'of'your'age.'It'just'doesnt'work'like'that'online.'On'Tinder,'age'is'
probably'2ed'for'the'second'most'important'factor,'and'if'your'prole'isnt'
even'shown'to'your'prospects,'youve'lost'before'you'even'get'started.
So'what'do'you'do?'Well,'you'basically'lie'and'cheat.
You'need'to'personally'do'the'soul'searching'to'gure'out'if'this'is'something'
youre'willing'to'do,'but'if'you'are'Ill'show'you'how.

Age
Let's'face'it;'we're'not'all'beau2ful'25'year'old'beau2es'anymore.'This'seriously'
hampers'our'abili2es'in'the'da2ng'game.'If'you'are'a'gorgeous'25'year'old'
hunk,'you'might'want'to'skip'this'part.'This'goes'for'basically'all'these'sec2ons'
about'lying'and'chea2ng'your'way'ahead.'However,'age'is'going'to'catch'up'
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with'everybody,'so'you'might'as'well'be'prepared.
Online,'your'age'is'extremely'prominent.'Not'only'is'it'in'your'face'visible,'it'
is'also'a'search'parameter.'Trust'me,'most'girls'who'are'23'dont'go'searching'
for'guys'who'are'close'to'50'online.'There'is'a'mismatch'between'the'real'
world,'where'they'happily'go'to'bed'with'you,'and'the'virtual'one,'where'they'
all'of'a'sudden'become'reluctant'and'shielded'from'you.'This'is'why'I'
personally'usually'lower'my'online'age'from'39'to'somewhere'between'26g33,'
depending'on'who'I'want'to'connect'with.'Well'get'back'to'these'things'later,'
but'just'keep'in'mind'that'there'might'be'good'reasons'that'are'perfectly'
jus2able'why'youd'want'to'do'this.'ARer'all,'if'you'didnt,'these'ladies'
wouldnt'really'have'the'op2on'of'going'on'the'adventure'youre'providing'for'
them.
Nowhere'in'the'world'is'age'as'per2nent'as'online'and'on'mobile'services.'Girls'
who'would'normally'really'like'you'will'some2mes'not'even'consider'you'
because'of'age.'Even'worse,'you'might'be'screened'out'before'your'pictures'
are'even'exposed'to'them,'so'even'if'you'are'their'"grey'fox"gfantasy,'they'll'
never'get'the'chance'to'see'you.
So'yes,'in'this'case,'lying'and'chea2ng'is'not'only'your'only'op2on,'it'might'
even'be'the'correct'thing'to'do.

What&can&you&get&away&with?
The'rst'and'perhaps'most'important'ques2on'is'what'can'you'get'away'with.'
We'll'talk'about'this'in'great'detail'later,'but'start'thinking'about'it'right'now.'If'
you'were'to'really'push'it,'what'age'could'get'away'with?'The'simplest'way'to'
nd'out'is'to'ask'people,'random'people'you'meet'on'the'town,'to'guess'your'
age.'If'they'guess'your'real'age,'you'might'just'want'to'keep'it'at'that,'and'
allow'yourself'to'get'fewer'matches.'It's'usually'no'big'deal,'as'there'are'a'lot'
of'girls'out'there.
I'm'currently'33'on'my'Tinder'prole,'while'I'am'39'in'real'life.'This'gives'me'
occasional'hits'from'18'and'19'year'old'girls,'with'quite'a'few'in'the'early'
twen2es.

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I'do,'however,'cheat.'I've'tried'to'stay'out'of'direct'sunlight'most'parts'of'my'
life,'and'that's'paying'o.'I'also'frequently'detox,'work'out'and'use'makeup.'
I've'covered'the'usage'of'makeup'in'an'previous'sec2on,'but'you'need'to'
understand'that'there'is'no'magic'anywhere.'If'you're'fat,'old'and'unhealthy'it'
will'limit'who'will'want'to'have'your'dick'in'their'cavi2es.'The'sooner'you'wake'
up'to'this'fact,'the'beXer'o'you'll'be,'because'you'can'choose'to'do'
something'about'it'or'you'can'adjust'your'expecta2ons.

Income
For'a'number'of'reasons,'I'wouldn't'lie'about'my'income.'This'means'that'you'
should'not'go'out'of'your'way'to'appear'wealthy,'because'it'tends'to'polarize'
women'in'the'"gold'digger"'direc2on;'they'will'look'at'you'in'a'poten2al'
provider'light'and'try'to'bag'you'as'a'boyfriend'more'than'a'sexual'ing.
Now,'obviously'there's'nothing'wrong'with'being'a'boyfriend,'but'you'might'
not'want'to'limit'this'so'early'on.
You'want'to'aim'for'"well'o";'you'don't'have'many'economical'worries.'This'
means'that'you'll'happily'pick'up'the'tab'at'a'place,'but'you'normally'go'for'a'
cup'of'coee'or'tea'rather'than'a'meal'on'the'rst'date.'This'has'many'
benets;'she'won't'feel'in'debt'to'you'and'you'won't'go'broke.'There'is'no'
aXempt'to'"lock'in".'
In'terms'of'lying'and'chea2ng,'you'want'to'give'o'the'impression'that'you'are'
"doing'OK"'even'if'you'are'dirt'poor.'This'means'that'you'need'to'take'care'of'
your'appearance,'have'clean'clothes'and'shoes,'and'appear'well'groomed'in'
general.

Likes
Tinder'will'match'you'on'shared'Facebook'likes.'In'most'cases'this'won't'
maXer,'but'I've'matched'with'super'hot'women'because'we'have'a'lot'of'
common'likes.'If'you'like'stu'you'don't'really'like'on'Facebook,'you're'lying,'in'
a'sense.'

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An'eec2ve'middle'ground'is'just'adding'more'likes'for'stu'you'really'and'
truly'like,'but'you'might'not'be'overly'enthusias2c'about.'This'isn't'really'a'big'
deal,'and'we'covered'in'the'sec2on'about'likes'earlier.

Con9ngencies
This'leads'us'to'con2ngencies.'Lying'and'chea2ng'is'one'thing,'and'nobody'
likes'to'lie.'Its'even'worse'to'be'caught'in'a'lie.'This'is'why'we'will'also'provide'
you'with'con2ngencies.'Not'only'for'things'like'your'age'and'your'pictures,'but'
conversa2onal'con2ngencies'will'be'presented.'This'is'a'part'of'being'able'to'
be'in'a'situa2on'that'is'less'than'ideal'and's2ll'coming'out'on'top.'And'lets'
face'it,'most'situa2ons'are'actually'less'than'ideal.
This'is'also'where'most'people'give'up,'wai2ng'for'a'perfect'moment.'Ill'give'
you'the'tools'to'operate'in'the'real'world,'where'real'problems'happen'in'real'
2me.
What'do'you'do,'exactly,'if'you're'caught'lying'about'your'age?'If'it'turns'out'
you'don't'really'look'like'the'guy'on'your'pictures?'If'you've'indicated'that'you'
like'Jus2n'Bieber'when'you'really,'really,'fucking'really'don't?
Well,'you'need'to'plot'out'the'con2ngencies'for'all'your'lies,'and'you'beXer'be'
thorough'about'it.
If'youre'dead'set'about'lying'about'your'age,'you'have'a'decision'to'make.'You'
either'keep'it'up'or'you'claim'its'a'mistake.'Both'take'some'prepara2on'to'do,'
and'the'more'you'prepare'for'these'less'than'ideal'situa2ons,'the'more'youll'
nd'that'it'might'not'be'worth'the'trouble.
Ive'bumped'my'birth'date'to'being'21'of'May,'1980.'This'means'I'am'born'on'
the'same'day'as'the'one'hit'wonder'Gotye.'It'means'that'I'never'got'to'
experience'the'seven2es.
Her: So, youre 33.

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Me: Yes, I looked it up, I was actually born on the same day
as Gotye, you remember that guy with that song? You didnt
have to cuuuut me off. Hes like one of the words hugest one
hit wonders. Except for maybe that Macarena song. You still
remember the dance?

Classic'misdirec2on.
Alterna2vely,'you'can'say'something'along'the'lines'of:
Her: So, youre 33.
Me: Hm. What? Look%at%her%puzzledly.%If%you%are%lucky,%the%whole%issue%will%just%go%
away.
Her: What do you mean, your profile says youre 33.
Me: Hm, it does? Where does it pick up that information? I
havent really looked at that number, but I guess it picks it
up from Facebook, right?
Her: Yes. At%this%point%shell%sh%out%her%phone%and%show%you%your%prole,%with%your%
lie%blinking%in%your%face.
Me: Thats just strange, thats not really my age. Shouldnt
it pick it up from Facebook?
Her: Yes. She%will%look%at%you%with%evil%eyes.
Me: Ah, yes, I remember now. I have a private age on
Facebook, I have been using the advertising platform on
Facebook for a startup Im doing, and I tweaked it to a lower
age to check that the ads were showing up. This is really
uncomfortable.
Her: No, honey, its OK. Youre cute.

An'elaborate'lie.'Of'course,'now'you'have'to'be'able'to'tell'her'about'the'
startup'thatll'be'paying'for'her'Mercedes.'One'elaborate'lie'needs'to'be'
followed'up'with'another,'more'elaborate.
If'youve'been'exceedingly'enthusias2c'doctoring'your'pictures,'she'might'
become'suspicious.'You'can'tell'her'you'have'a'photographer'friend'help'you'
make'them'look'cool,'but'he'promised'to'just'adjust'the'colors.'You'can'tell'her'
it'was'just'a'joke,'and'she'should'understand'that'based'on'the'shoddy'
workmanship.'You'can'tell'her'the'pictures'are'old,'and'you'thought'Facebook'
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picked'them'at'random.

234

Appendix&E:&Reports
Here'are'some'real'life'reports'of'things'that'went'reasonably'well.'If'you're'a'
seasoned'gamer,'you'll'look'at'this'and'think'to'yourself'that'there'seems'to'be'
very'liXle'game'involved.'You're'right.'

Denise,&27&years&old
Level:'Beginner.
T: Where are you?
D: Place A.
T: It says 100 miles away. The place youre claiming to be
is a 10 minute walk from here.
D: Came from a different city yesterday yesterday, perhaps
that is a confusing factor.
T: Do you want to get a cup of beer to see if it holds
water?
D: Yes, what time and place?
T: Name of nearby pub 20:30.
D: Ok.
T: Good.
T: 21. I was occupied.
T: Did you receive? I dislike people waiting for me.
T: What is your number?
D: Ah, just saw the message, I'm here.
D: #
T: Ah, sorry. Be right there.
D: Ok, I'll start without you
T: As long as we finish together. Priming
D: Wow.
T: As long as everyone is having fun. It's spring. Liberator
D: True.

I'meet'with'her'and'have'a'couple'of'beers.'Place'closes'early'because'it's'a'
Sunday.'When'we'exit'I'ask'her'which'way'she's'going,'and'she'says'she's'open'
for'sugges2ons.'I'suggest'we'go'home,'so'we'do.

Zoe,&21&years&old
Level:'Advanced.
This'isn't'going'to'be'a'super'detailed'report,'because'it'doesn't'make'any'
sense'to'spend'2me'detailing'the'same'steps'again'and'again.
Keywords:'Sexualiza2on,'simmering,'availability,'liberators,'frame'installa2on,'
the'penis'progression
So'I've'been'talking'to'this'girl'on'Tinder'for'a'while.'She's'21,'and'I've'not'
really'been'doing'a'good'job.'A'bunch'of'halfgassed'aXempts'to'meet'up'which'
have'been'killed'by'just'bad'logis2cal'situa2ons'in'general.
I've'gradually'pushed'it'into'a'very'sexual'vibe,'which'would'technically'in'many'
cases'be'pure'overextension,'but'she's'responded'very'favorably'most'of'the'
2me.'Here'are'some'examples:
I'ran'the'penis'progression.'
Zoe: Hahah I'm opening the first
T: NO! It's a hard on! Don't!
Zoe: Yuck
T: WHY?! You imbecile.
Zoe: You can't tell an incredibly curious person not to do
something..
Zoe: They will do the opposite!
Zoe: And ps: you took the picture, not I.
T: This is the kind of stuff that just happens. When it's
spring.
T: Could be a lot worse, I'm pretty happy with that picture.
Zoe: Haha good for you
T: Agreed.
Zoe: [Sending emoticon with the OK hand gesture]
T: I like you. You have a lot of confidence and are very
funny. A pleasant creature. Do you still want to meet?
Zoe: Daring move after the penis picture, L.

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T: You like penis. You're not the shy kind.

Zoe: Haha

Then'the'next'Saturday'I'basically'asked'what'she's'doing,'turns'out'she's'at'a'
warmup'party'and'going'out'later.'I'tell'her'I'm'in'the'same'situa2on.'She'asks'
where'I'm'going,'and'I'say'I'm'not'sure,'but'it's'probably'downtown.'Then,'
around'12:30AM'I'get'a'message'that'they've'gone'to'a'cafe'nearby'because'of'
the'long'lines.
T: Ah, ok. I can't go there, I don't care for it. Perhaps
some other time.
Zoe: Haha OK!
Zoe: We don't want the long lines-but I wanted to meet you.

I'change'my'mind'and'go'to'the'place'and'see'what'could'easily'have'been'a'
nightmare'situa2on.'She's'there'with'5'other'girls.'6'girls'are'going'to'have'an'
easier'2me'nding'aws'with'you'than'just'1.
So'I'introduce'myself.'Spend'some'2me'doing'normal'escala2on'for'this'kind'of'
venue,'which'is'basically'just'touching'her'and'leading'her'in'whenever'she'
talks.'Imagine'a'"claw"gkind'of'move'that'just'underlines'the'conversa2on.
This'chick,'Jennifer,'leans'over'and'whispers'something'to'Zoe.
Zoe'starts'to'laugh'and'says'to'me:
"Jennifer'wants'to'fuck'you'if'I'don't."
"That's'a'aXering'compliment,"'I'respond.
I'quickly'clarify'the'fact'that'I'am'39'and'not'33.'This'goes'over'well.'Some'of'
the'girls'are'going'out'to'smoke'and'I'join'them.'Within've'minutes'we're'
making'out.'Around'1:30AM'she's'going'for'extrac2on.
"If'you'want'to'take'me'home'this'is'the'2me,"'she'said.
"OK."
238

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I'get'some'token'resistance'when'we'get'home'and'bang'her'on'the'couch'in'
my'livingroom.'I'take'her'to'my'room'and'snuggle'and'bang'her'again.
On'Tinder:
Zoe: "This is without a doubt a walk of shame."
T: "STRIDE OF PRIDE!"

We's2ll'meet'regularly'to'this'day,'she'is'my'Saturday'girlfriend.

239

Appendix&F:&Resources
Here's'a'list'of'resources'that'have'been'referenced'through'the'book.'

A&soma9c&approach&to&beZering&yourself
TRE'g'Trauma'Releasing'Exercises,'David'Berceli:'hXp://
www.traumapreven2on.com/
Code'of'the'Natural,'Rob'Brinded:'hXp://www.codeoRhenatural.com/'

Workout&program
You'll'nd'a'decent'descrip2on'of'the'5x5'programme'here:'hXp://
strongliRs.com/5x5/

Data&management
Evernote:'hXp://www.evernote.com/
Trello:'hXps://trello.com/

Miscellaneous
The'picture'discussed'previously'that'I'some2mes'send'to'submissive'girls'on'
Snapchat'can'be'found'here:'hXp://www.ignitemobileda2ng.com/sexualg
priming

Appendix&G:&SeVng&up&a&group
We've'men2oned'the'benets'of'seQng'up'a'group'for'working'with'this'
material'earlier.'I'm'just'quickly'going'to'go'through'a'proposed'format'for'such'
a'group,'and'talk'briey'about'some'of'my'experiences'with'it.
S2ck'to'the'A's'of'mee2ng:

Agenda
Ac2ons
Actors
Alterna2ves

Do'decide'on'an'agenda'for'the'mee2ngs,'so'the'mee2ngs'have'structure.'If'
you'don't,'chances'are'you'll'just'end'up'doing'chitchat.'This'agenda'should'
have'certain'recurring'items.
Here&are&some&sugges9ons:
Make'sure'you'have'a'person'leading'the'mee2ng.
Let'everyone'in'the'group'do'a'quick'recap.'Limit'the'recap'to'5'minutes'per'
person.'During'this'recap,'allow'the'members'to'iden2fy'things'that'they'did'
well'and'things'that'were'problema2c.'Limi2ng'the'speaking'2me'allows'all'
members'to'share'their'main'experiences'before'the'whole'group'is'2red.
The'mee2ng'leader'makes'note'of'these'items.'If'there'is'a'general'interest'in'
discussing'the'dierent'items,'they'can'be'discussed'aRer'all'members'have'
recapped'their'week.'John'might'have'a'problem'with'discussions'dying'out'
while'Pete'has'a'problem'geQng'girls'back'to'his'place'from'his'favorite'bar.'
Obviously,'Pete'can'share'some'of'his'experiences'on'seQng'up'meets.
As'oRen'as'possible,'refer'to'a'shared'curriculum.'There'is'nothing'wrong'with'
personal'experience,'but'sharing'curriculum'makes'it'easier'for'everybody'to'
contribute.'It'is'also'helpful'that'more'people'look'at'shared'informa2on,'
241

iGNITE

because'it'will'make'it'easier'to'nd'errors'with'the'material'and'highlite'
especially'eec2ve'techniques.
Do'take'notes'and'post'it'in'a'shared'space.'SeQng'up'a'forum,'crea2ng'a'
Google'document'or'sharing'a'folder'on'Dropbox'are'all'ne,'as'long'as'you'all'
have'access'to'the'informa2on'aRer'the'mee2ng.
Keep'the'number'of'par2cipants'at'a'sensible'level.'If'the'mee2ngs'become'too'
lengthy'produc2vity'will'suer.'I'nd'4g5'people'is'sort'of'a'sweet'spot'for'
these'kinds'of'groups.
Look'out'for'people'geQng'stuck'because'they'don't'follow'through.'Someone'
can'meet'up'for'a'group'four'weeks'in'a'row,'s2ll'being'stuck'at'the'same'place'
they'were'when'they'started.'If'you'hear'excuses'like'"I'didn't'have'the'2me'to'
look'at'that"'and'repeatedly'use'phrases'like'"this'doesn't'really'apply'to'me",'
they'don't'belong'in'the'group.'They'might'be'right,'the'material'might'really'
not'apply'to'them,'but'the'point'of'the'group'is'to'create'a'place'where'people'
with'similar'problems'look'for'solu2ons'together.
You'need'to'have'people'that'actually'deliver'on'their'promise'aRer'every'
mee2ng,'or'they're'out.'People'like'this'can'suck'out'any'energy'that'the'rest'
of'the'par2cipants'put'into'the'group'in'no'2me,'and'they'have'no'place'in'a'
produc2ve'group.'You'll'see'people'par2cipate'in'groups'like'this'as'a'social'
outlet.'Kick'them'out.'There's'nothing'wrong'with'being'social,'but'it's'for'
another'place'and'2me.

242

Closing&notes
If'you'enjoyed'the'book,'please'take'the'2me'to'go'on'the'service'you'
purchased'it'and'give'it'a'favorable'review.'As'an'independent'publisher,'all'
aXen2on'is'good'aXen2on,'and'it'is'crucial'for'my'ability'to'keep'maintaining'
the'book'in'terms'of'updates'and'surrounding'material'that'you'help'support'
it.
If'you'didnt'like'it,'for'whatever'reason,'please'say'so.'Please'try'to'be'specic'
and'construc2ve'so'the'product'can'change'in'future'versions.'Either'leave'a'
construc2ve'review,'or'reach'out'to'me'at'ignitemobileda2ng@gmail.com.'
I'thank'you'for'your'aXen2on'and'I'hope'well'meet'again'soon.

Thanks
Huge'thanks'to'everyone'who'has'helped'me'proofread'and'given'sugges2ons'
on'how'to'improve'this'book.'I'could'not'have'done'this'without'you.