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THE MAGAZINE FOR PLUS-SIZE WOMEN AND THEIR ADMIRERS

Dimensions
WHERE BIG IS BEAUTIFUL

CAT
ENCORE:
Artiste ANA
Fat Admiration in

POPULAR
MUSIC
BIG BLACK
BEAUTIFUL
LillyShes a
big girl now
Barbers Fiction
SEP 2001 $5.95

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Dimensions
CONTENTS

N o . 8 8

V o l u m e

1 5 - N u m b e r

3 -

S p r i n g

2 0 0 2

5 EDITOR-AT-LARGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .CONRAD BLICKENSTORFER


6 VIEW: The Underappreciated Belly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .STAFF
8 PERSONALS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
10 COOL PLACES: Social Scene on the Web . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
12 LIFESTYLES: Living my fantasy . . . . . . . . . . . . .BELLADONNA EDWARDS

Cat in one of her inimitable poses

14 INSIDE: Frannie Goes to the Hospital . . . . . . . . . . . . .ELIZABETH FISHER


16 WELL BEING: Coping . . . . . . . . . . . . . .BARBARA ALTMAN BRUNO, PH.D.
18 CLIPPINGS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .JAN HERRICK
20 FAT ADMIRATION IN POP MUSIC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .PETER SCHAEFER
22 THE ART OF CATpictorial . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .CAT

Montreals treasure: Ana

32 ANApictorial . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .ANA
38 LILLYpictorial . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .LILLY
48 LIGHTWEIGHTfat fiction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .WILSON BARBERS
54 PHOTO & VIDEO BAZAAR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
55 MARKET SQUARE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
57 FINDING MY SENSESpoetry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .SVS
60 CARTOON . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .PAUL DELACROIX
62 REVIEW: A Lot of Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .WILSON BARBERS
Chocolate delight: Lilly

ON THE COVER
CAT

Its a bird, its a plane, its Super-Cat

Dimensions

Spring 2002

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Dimensions
Where Big Is Beautiful

Publisher
S HARDCO , I NC .
Editor-In-Chief
C ONRAD H. B LICKENSTORFER

Guest Editor
P AUL D ELACROIX

VP Operations
R UBY B LICKENSTORFER

Social and Fashion Editor


S ANDIE S ABO

Contributing Writers
B ARBARA A LTMAN B RUNO , P H .D.
W ILSON B ARBERS , E LIZABETH F ISHER
C AT , A NA , L ILLY
SVS, P ETER S CHAEFER ,
B ILL S HERMAN , S TARFIRE

Contributing Artists
P AUL D ELACROIX

Circulation Director
M ICHAEL E VAN

Printing
W. W. H OBBS , S ACRAMENTO

Prepress and Colorwork


W. W. H OBBS , S ACRAMENTO

Advertising Sales
PUBLISHERS' REPRESENTATIVE, INC.
12424 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1070
Los Angeles, CA 90025
(310) 979-7879 FAX: (310) 571-0307 EMAIL:
pubrep@worldnet.att.net

Printed in the
United States of America

CAT

4 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

DIMENSIONS (ISSN 1057-7386) is published quarterly for US$30/year (basic subscription price) by
Shardco, Inc., 4045 Sunset Lane, Shingle Springs,
CA 95682. Periodicals Postage Paid at Folsom,
CA, and at additional mailing offices. Dimensions
is published for the support and educational benefit of people with a preference for the large figure, as a source of news and information, and as
a forum for ideas, experiences and opinions. Periodical postage pending at Folsom and other
Post Offices. All opinions expressed are those of
the contributors indicated and not necessarily
those of DIMENSIONS. Contents copyright
2002 by DIMENSIONS. All rights reserved. No materials may be reprinted in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher.
CONTRIBUTIONS Letters to the Editor must
be signed. Name and state will be printed unless
requested to be withheld. Letters may be edited
for space and/or clarity. The publisher accepts no
responsibility for return of unsolicited submissions.
All rights in letters and unsolicited editorial and graphic material will be considered unconditionally assigned for publication and copyright purposes. All
submissions will be subject to DIMENSIONS' unrestricted right to edit and to comment editorially.
Upon publication, payment will be made at the current rate, which covers the author's and/or contributor's right, title, and interest in and to the submitted material, including but not limited to
manuscripts, photographs, drawings, charts, and
designs, which shall be considered as text. The act
of mailing a manuscript and/or material shall constitute an express warranty by the contributor that
it is original and in no way an infringement upon
the rights of others. Mail letters to the editor, artwork, articles, fiction, changes of address, and all
other materials to P.O. Box 640, Folsom, CA 95763.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES Base U.S. subscription rate is $30.00 (4 issues); Canada add $15,
overseas add $40 for postage). These prices represent DIMENSIONS' standard subscription rate and
should not be confused with special subscription
rates sometimes advertised. Single copy: US$8.00,
Canada US$9.00, Overseas US$15.00.
CHANGE OF ADDRESS: Allow six weeks
advance notice and send in both your old and
new address. POSTMASTER: Send address
changes to Dimensions, PO Box 640, Folsom,
CA 95763-0640.

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Editor At Large
Ongoing struggles in size acceptance and publishing
o be honest, the last year or so has
been a total drag. First we sort of slid
into a recession (technically it seems
it wasnt one but it sure felt like it),
then we had that horrible terrorist attack,
and the war in Afghanistan. For us in the
publishing business, all of this came on
top of a general malaise in this industry.
Ever since the advent of the Internet and
the Web it was clear that publishing as we
knew it was going to change dramatically. We just didnt know how and when it
was going to happen. Would all the news
go to the Web and newspapers and magazines slowly die? Or would books and
magazines gradually be replaced by electronic books and publications? As of now,
there isnt a definite answer. Websites and
online publications were not the panacea
they were thought to be, as evidenced by
the many ezines and other free content
and news services that went belly-up.
However, even though the big dot-com
bust delivered a sobering message, and
even though online advertising revenue
is far from what most expected, the combined impact of the recession, real or perceived, the terror attacks and war, and the
Web has been devastating to the publishing industry. It has had an impact on
all four of our publications. Our two tech
titles, Pen Computing Magazine and Digital Camera Magazine, have dramatically lower ad revenue, which is bad news
for our size-related titles, BBW Magazine
and Dimensions, as profits from the techie
mags had supported the size-related businesses for the past several years. At least
we were not forced to close down one or
more of them, as happened to several of
our competitors. The blood bath was particularly drastic in the large size area. During 2001, we lost Belle Magazine, the print
version of the beloved Radiance, and even
the well financed Mode Magazine. We
were forced to put BBW on hiatus for several months to secure financing. It was
worth it as the BBW team released a superb Spring 2002 issue, and they also did
the annual BBW Model award week in Las
Vegas, but the situation remains dim.
There are times when it seems to me that
doing a large size publication may simply not be commercially feasible. None

of BBW's previous owners were able to


turn a profit, Mode did not succeed, and
It's Me. Magna, Radiance, and Belle also
folded. This leads me to believe that perhaps selling something that people do not
want to be or hear is really a public benefit project rather than a business. Maybe
people want to buy dreams and fantasies,
and any plus-size magazine, lauded
though the effort may be by some, is
doomed. Not a pleasant thought. And also
a sobering one: over half the population
is statistically plus-size, yet of all those
millions of people apparently most stick
their heads in the sand and read Vogue
and Cosmo.
On a more personal level, I finally did
see Shallow Hal, the controversial movie
with the obnoxious teasers, who was condemned in a press release by NAAFA. I
hadnt planned on watching the movie,
but it was the only entertainment choice
I had on a eleven hour flight back from
Switzerland. The basically laudable message of Shallow Hal is not to judge a
book by its cover. The secondary message
is that men who can see through physical imperfections are deep, non-shallow
people.
Since I love fat women and am married
to one, I must be a very deep person.
Problem is that to me some fat women
look as alluringly attractive and desirable
as those conventional knockouts looked
to Hal in the movie. So I could be just as
shallow as he was. Perhaps even more so
because while how we get a long with a
person is by far the most important part
of a relationship, I really don't think I'd
have ever chosen a life partner who was
not fat. Once I knew who I was and what
I needed and wanted, I set out to find a
person who I loved and desired inside and
out. To be honest, I suspect that I might
have had a problem had I run into a soulmate who was rail-thin.
From that standpoint I guess I am
even more shallow than Hal.
To be honest, I kind of liked Shallow
Hal. True, some of the fat jokes and
stereotypes were not necessary but they
also did not dominate the movie. The entire point was that one should judge inner beauty instead of outer beauty. And

that is where the real problem is with


Shallow Hal. In this movie people who
are conventionally attractive are shallow,
useless, or mean whereas those who are
conventionally ugly or flawed are good
and valuable. As if by not being conventionally attractive they had to make up
for it by being true humanitarians and
wonderful people.
In the real world there are really nice
and wonderful conventionally attractive
people and really asinine and mean conventionally unattractive people.
The other problem with Shallow Hal
is that the movie decides what is considered unattractive. The wonderful people
in there are either fat, have skin disorders,
are saddled with other flaws, or are
burn victims.
Shallow Hal makes a good point: Do
not judge a book by its cover. It also
makes a bad one by being very clear
about what type of cover is unattractive.
In that respect, the movie is as shallow as
Hal. Other than that it was a lot better
than I thought it would be. From a size
acceptance point of view, I suppose it did
not warrant a strong pre-emptive dismissal. From a FAs point of view,
Gwyneth Paltrow sure looked good as her
fat self. There I go being shallow again.
Anyway, to get back to Dimensions, I
am happy that we managed to create
what I consider another great issue, but
its been a struggle. I find it increasingly
hard to muster the energy to do it as no
matter what I intend to put in the magazine, its already been discussed a thousand times on the web, no matter what
photo features I include, anyone can
download a hundred times as many images from the web for free, and as for fiction and stories, people can read and
download them by the busload on the
Web for free as well. None of the news in
a print publication is timely as opposed
to stuff on the web thats up-to-theminute current. I guess I am in a rut.
The good news is that in this issue we
have some phenomenal photo features,
more than ever before. Doing those was
a real pleasure, and I hope you enjoy perusing them as much as I enjoyed laying
them out.

Dimensions

Spring 2002

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THE UNDERAPPRECIATED BELLY


TO SOME OF US BELLIES ARE JUST AS SEXY AS BREASTS

think bellies are wonderful. I say


that right upfront just so that there
is no doubt about how I feel. I do
that because bellies are getting so
much bad press these days, its
about time someone says something good about that much maligned part
of the female anatomy.
To be honest, I have never understood
why breasts are glorified in our society
while bellies must be hidden and gotten
rid of. I mean, breasts are mounds of fat
and a belly is a mound of fat, so whats the
difference? Yet, while breasts generally
cannot be large enough, bellies should be
flat and non-existent. That simply doesnt make sense to me. Any which way I
look at it, bellies ought to have the same
sex appeal as breasts. I am not a social anthropologist, but it seems to me that the
attraction of breasts to males is that they
are a unique part of the female anatomy,
something that men do not have. They
are, in some way, linked to a womans reproductive system which, of course, is of
natural generic interest to males. The
same goes for the belly. A pregnant belly
is a uniquely feminine feature and one

that many men find attractive. So why are


large breasts desirable
and to some even a
pregnant belly, but not
a fat belly?
Whats even more
puzzling is that almost
every other physical
feature that is uniquely
or particularly feminine
is considered sexually
attractive. In addition
to prominent breasts,
that includes thick, long
hair, feminine facial
features, wide hips and
a variety of other characteristics that may
vary from culture to
culture. The hourglass
figure is revered by almost all cultures, which
puzzles me as it requires the waist to be as
small as possible and
the belly almost absent.
Just as puzzling is the
current fashion trend to show the navel
and belly. From what I can tell, a bit of
roundness of the belly is acceptable as
long as it isnt too much.
Bottomline though is that having a noticeable belly is a no-no for a woman unless she is pregnant.
Now to me, the belly happens to be the
one part of the female anatomy that I find
the most attractive and appealing. As far
back as I can remember, a fat belly has always seemed deliciously sexual to me, a
feature that excited me and attracted me.
I remember seeing a girl with a rounded,
fat belly when I was in my teens, and it had
the same impact on me as when one of my
colleagues spotted a conventionally beautiful perfect ten. Needless to say, this
puzzled me, but it never changed.
I have no idea why I find bellies so attractive, but then again, I also do not know
why I am, and have always been, a Fat Ad-

6 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

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mirer. Actually, using the argument that


a fat belly is a unique symbol of femininity, it is easier to explain an attraction to
a prominent belly than to a fat body itself.
So what is it that I like about fat bellies?
In addition to the wonderful visual treat
they are and the warm feelings they cause
inside me, they come in so many different sizes and shapes. There is the typical
apple shape with a prominent belly that

find very sexy and that gives me a warm,


wonderful feeling. I love to touch and feel
a belly the way most men love to touch
and feel breasts (I love those, too, of
course). I absolutely adore the pressure
of a fat belly against me during lovemaking. It is one of my most favorite feelings
in the world.
But what if the belly is so large that it
does present a bit of a challenge to inter-

sticks out, and the softer belly that hangs


down and forms an apron. Each kind
comes in different shapes and sizes and I
love them all. A small rounded tummy can
look terminally cute. A large beer belly
can be devastatingly sexy. A soft tummy
that bulges over undies and hangs a bit
can be unbearably inviting. One that has
grown into a large, hanging apron of fat
can be a FAs dream. I am certain that
these words and descriptions will baffle
a lot of fat women (or any woman who
has a prominent belly) but thats just the
way I feel. Bellies are sexy in any shape or
form.
A question that often comes up is the
impact of large size on sexual relations.
Doesnt a large belly get in the way or, in
extreme cases, make intercourse impossible? Personally, Id answer that with a
hearty, no! I find the presence of a big
belly very stimulating, something that I

course? Opinions may differ here, but to


me that just adds to the excitement.
Having been a Fat Admirer all my life,
I do realize that having a large or very large
belly can present a challenge or even burden to a woman. As a man who wants his
partner to feel as comfortable as she can
be, I do regret that and wish it werent so,
just like I wish that there wouldnt be any
drawback to being fat at all, not in terms
of mobility, discrimination, health, or societal acceptance. But since being fat is
not a choice for almost all fat people, its
a matter of coping with what one is given, so why not make the most of it and accept and enjoy ones body to whatever extent possible?
So if you are a fat woman with a large
belly, know that there are those of us out
there who find fat belliesin any shape,
size, or formbeautiful and sexy.

Dimensions

Spring 2002

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Personal Ads
To respond to an ad with a letter, send your reply with code number to:
Dimensions, P.O. Box 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640.
Include $1.00 and one stamped envelope for each reply.

ALL ADS SORTED BY STATE


ANYWHERENo lies, no tricks, no
computer sex, just you and I. Professional,
romantic lady, blond 5'6", attractive
plus size, a loving sunshine girl with a
great sense of humor. Seeks white, financially secure, marriage minded gentleman, best friend and soulmate between 45 and 55, NS/ND caring, sharing,
honest, monogamous and sincere, for
the rest of our lives who will love me
for myself! Letters and phone number
welcome. 21216

ARBig Women need love too!


DWF,44 Mother of two, looking for
sweet, loving S/DW Male, 36-49, must
love children. Moderate drinker, N/S.
Pen pals welcome. 26207

CAFat Fantasy Lover, very sexy, tall,


dark, handsome stud ISO very generous submissive sexy full figure women
that loves to pamper a man. Knows
how she likes it. Loves to please a man.
Big butt a plus. Respond if you think
you have potential. Send a photo and
a sexy letter; tell what you will do for
me baby. 26213

CANADASWF 29, 5'4", 290lbs.,


blue eyes, Brown hair. NS, drug and
Disease free, romantic, kind, honest.
Enjoy country music, nature, animals.
In search of a SWM who's financially
stable, romantic, honest, age 26-46.
Someone marriage minded like me,
who wants kids someday. Letter/photo gets mine. Willing to relocate for
the right man. No feeder please.
26234

Inmates or feeders, please. Good sense


of humor a plus. Your letter and photo will get mine. 26215

CAWhite Male 52, 175lbs., NS,


Business owner seeks stylish sophisticated BBW. Voluptuous figure, romantic disposition for lots of loving
fun, LTR? To be loved & pampered,
kissed & cuddled. Write now. Photo
welcome. 26240

CTAmple sized bottom heavy WF,


youthful 56, seeks WM 48-65 for life
mate. You must be relocateable and
sincere. I'm down to earth, and not
materialistic. Write soon. 26257

KYI am looking for a young woman28 to 35- who is tired of the diet merry-go-round and ready to give it up
completely, eat anything she wants
and get as fat as she wants or desires.
She mush be pretty, marriage minded, desirous of children, an animal
lover, and a true romantic. ME: 40ish,
brown hair, green eyes, 5'11", 150lbs.,
athletic, told I am handsome. Divorced,
Professional, financially secure, kind,
animal lover and hopeless romantic.
This man thinks fat, voluptuous women
are the sexiest thing on earth; God's
gift to man. Hope to hear from you.
26226

MDMargo-age60, 5'2", 217 lbs.,


Black, black hair, brown eyes. Race
open,educated,divorced.
Like to
meet a
soul-mate.
Want a
honest
working
man, 5868 who
will pamper me
and enjoys traveling, who is financially and emotionally secure. To connect
with if you think you can handle this.
Send photo and a letter soon. 26263

MDRomantic Pisces man, 39, 6',


200 lbs., hazel eyes, brown hair,
German-Irish nationality, professional chef, home owner, desires a loving
wife, BBW, 21-55. Size no problem.
Have your heart in the right place.
Please send me a letter with your photo. Thank you! 26038

MIOk! The picture is 15 years old


but I still have a full head of hair. 51
years, 510", 20 lbs., no children, loyal, blue cross, live anywhere. Seeking

tall, wide angel who is still growing


larger. 26268

MISWM Mid 40's Likes bicyling,


camping, train travel, storm watching
and photography. ND Smoke an occasional cigar. ISO S/DF with similar interests to get together and see what
happens. 26237

CASWBBW,39, 5'6", 400lbs., Blue


eyes, hair shoulder length, 52E, large
hips and butt. I am into metaphysics,
scifi, and animals. I love to read, watch
movies, crafting, and dining out. Looking
for SWM 35-50, size unimportant.
N/Smoking, N/Drugs, Lite/Drinker O.K.,
Disease free. Children welcome.
Financially and emotionally secure. No

times at home. Please send a letter


with photo. 26260

MDProfessional SWF, 280 lbs., 54,


hazel eyes, ISO honest, loving, caring,
sensual male with good sense of humor. I enjoy cooking, movies, theatre,
reading, writing, and especially quiet

MT54 Y.O. DWM Blond, Blue-eyed


Nordic Nick Nolte look Alike ISO fullfigured, top heavy gal 45+, any race.
Friendship first. Your pix gets mine.
26249

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MTNick Nolte look-alike- 54. I'm a


DWM fit & muscular 5'11", 185lbs.,
NS/SD college educated & financially
secure. ISO FF top-heavy gal 45-60. I'm
attracted especially to Afro-American
Ladies. 26233

NYSSBBW, Puerto Rican Amazon


Beauty: 27 years old, 6'4 inches tall,

Include your reply in an unsealed stamped envelope.


If you send in more than one reply, you may mail your letters (each in a stamped, unsealed envelope) to us in one
large envelope. We cannot forward unstamped letters.

Add $1 per reply (cash if under $5). Write the code in

NCSBF 28, 240, 5'3" ISO: Romantic,


caring, humorous, trusting, NS/ND,D/D
free, man for LTR race unimportant.
To know more about me write me I
will answer letter, photo appreciated.
Let me know something about you.
26194

NJSincere Single White Man 38, 5'9"


wishes to meet very pear shaped woman
over 400lbs, 20-45 for long term
Relationship. I can travel. 26205

NV50 Year old male FA, seeking


BBW of similar age. Would prefer someone in 200-250 pound range, bottomheavy, large bust 50H a must! Am recently widowed, have three dogs, love
old music of 1940's and back, old films,
British TV comedies. Am an avid reader. I love romantic dinners by candlelight, would love to hear from you!
26241

How To Reply To A Personal Ad By Letter

the lower left corner of the reply envelope. Send to:


Dimensions, POB 640, Folsom, CA 95763-0640.

Rules Of Conduct
Both advertisers and respondents must observe the rules

600 lb, (56F, 63 waist, 96 hips). I am


recently widowed, and now in search
of decent, respectful, ambitious Black
Male, who is very affectionate, and
preferably lives in or around the New
York City area. I am not ashamed of
one ounce of flesh on my body. I want
a man who loves a super large woman.
Crave it with your mind, body and soul.
Worship my super large frame, you will
never get enough of it. I will answer
all responses. Please include a photo.
26267

of civilized behavior. Unacceptable behavior includes failing to disclose marital status or other important facts (such
as residency in a penal institution or infectious medical
conditions); lying; issuing threats; harassing (which includes
attempting to continue contact after being requested not
to); writing or mailing obscenity; and sending unsolicited
advertising. Dimensions cannot guarantee the absence of
unacceptable behavior by advertisers or respondents, but
we will not print or forward any material that we are aware
is in violation. We urge you to use common sense and caution when meeting any stranger for the first time. We do
not assume any responsibility for your actions. Dimensions
reserves the right to not accept personal ads containing
certain subject matter.

NVAre you looking for a kind compassionate


BBW? Are
you marriageminded?
Then,
please
write.
SWF, 31,
5'5",
320lbs.,
brown
hair, and eyes. Looking for a SWM age
30-40 who is kind, affectionate and
has a great sense of humor. 26261

NYBM who wants a woman who


likes oral massages. Also your other interests should be varied. 26193

PERSONAL ADS

Up to 30 words =

Use the form below for the text of your


ad (use an extra piece of paper if needed)
Print legibly and use capital and lower
case letters.
Personals are $15.00 for up to 30 words
and $.50 for each additional word. Free
photo with ad
Frequency discount: If you run the same
ad three times, you get a 20% discount
off the total price.
This service is for large women and their
admirers. Ads that are off topic may not
be accepted.
For your protection, all ads are run with a
code number, no names or addresses.
Due to the volume of ads, we cannot
acknowledge receipt of your ad.

$15.00/issue

Over 30 words = $15.00 + ___ x $.50= $______


Cost to run ad once =

$______

Run my ad _____ times -----------> Total = $______


If you run ad 3 times, subtract 20%:

($______)

TOTAL enclosed $_______


Name ____________________________________
Address __________________________________
City/State/Zip ______________________________

Mail to:
DIMENSIONS Classifieds
P. O. Box 640
Folsom, CA 95763-0640
L

NYHi I am 47 yrs old, DWF, 5'8",


300lbs. I have a great sense of humor,
enjoy movies, walks, romantic evenings
at home. ISO SWM between 47-65,
Non smoker, Disease free. Will answer
all. 26238

NYISO Friendship and LTR, Husky


DBM, AVG HT, seeks super pear shaped,
very bottom heavy and extremely leg
heavy BBW 25-50, 300-800+lbs. Race
open. 26264
Dimensions

Spring 2002

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Page 10

C O O L

PERSONAL ADS

(continued from page 9)

OHKeith,48, 5'11", 178, Blondes

state NY, non-smoking single male between 46-60yrs. whose walking a spiritual path. My interests are eastern
phy., healing arts and personal growth;
humor a must. The judgemental need
not apply. 26259

PASWF, 61, Of Orthodox faith, loving, 5'4", Brunette, dark eyes, pretty.
Would like a SWM for a penpal or
maybe more. Will answer all. Photo
please. 26266

SDAnywhere- Christian SWF 40,


5'8" 240lbs., long auburn hair, green
eyes. Non-Smoker, Non-Drinker seeking that "One good man" who will
treat me as I will him with friendship,
respect and possibly in time a neverending love. 26252
only, proportional, busty, voluptuous,
non-smoker, under 250lbs. Photo reply, I can travel. 26214

TXCan you think of 101 ways to

PAAnywhere-Wanted: Caring male,


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he will respond. 26262

NYUpstate NY. Naughty BBW, slightly kinky, 5'5 1/2", 250+lbs. ISO up-

BBW Social Spot Sacramento, CA


http://www.bbwss.com
BBW - TexasTexas
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Big Boogie Nights
San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, CA
http://www.bigboogienights.com
The Big Difference L.A. Area
http://www.bigdiff.com
Big Shotz & Co.Rhode Island
http://www.bigshotzbbwparty.com
Bigger And Better Orlando, FL
http://www.biggerandbetter.net
Capital NAAFA Washington, DC Metro Area
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Chicagos Big Connections
http://www.lindasbigconnections.com/chicago/chicagobigconnections.html
Chicagos BBW Sweet Sensations
http://www.bbwsweetsensations.com
Chicago NAAFA
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http://www.clubcurves.cc
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http://www.geocities.com/daytonohiobbwparty
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http://www.infoasis.com/people/avery/fat.html
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10 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

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http://www.angelfire.com/mi2/more2love
National SAM (Size Acceptance Movement)
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People at Large Minneapolis/St. Paul Minnesota
http://www.peopleatlarge.org
SAFE (Size Acceptance Focusing on Empowerment) Orange County, CA
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Wisconsins Big Connection Dances Milwaukee area
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Dim88

5/9/02

6:58 PM

Page 11

CAT

Dimensions

Spring 2002

11

Dim88

5/10/02

2:03 PM

Page 12

LIFESTYLES
Living my fantasy
Part of me is incredulous at the extent to which the figure reflected in the mirror has
changed. In four years, I have watched whilst slender, muscular legs have broadened,
softened and begun to hint at developing rolls. I have studied my stomach as it has
abandoned its taut, concave state and swelled into a heavy, rounded belly that has
started to intrude into the territory of my thighs. Once skinny upper arms have become fat-laden; threatening to spill over to obscure my elbows. My face has acquired
a collection of chins, and the cheeks in which bone-structure could once be easily discerned have become fat to the extent that they dimple when I smile.
In the small UK town in which I live, I am
undoubtedly the fattest person that many
of the population have ever seen, and yet,
I remain several hundred pounds short of
even the most modest of my fantasies.
I was so young when my fascination
with weight gain made itself apparent, that
I cannot recall when, where or why I began to imagine myself growing enormously fat. From all throughout my childhood, I have snapshot memories of
secretly padding my clothes and of guiltily drawing cartoons where characters were
fattened up to ludicrous proportions. Even
in my early teens, when I was obsessed
with conforming to the Western Worlds
lust for thinness, I still found myself masturbating over the idea of being fatter, and
was puzzled as to how I could get such a
kick out of imagining myself confined in
a body-type I had been duped into believing was to be avoided at all costs. Only
after several years had passed did it occur
to me that the expectation I should be a
certain size had provided much of the attraction in being fatter!
The concept that I could flout the rules
of size to which I had always adhered and
begin to actively attempt gaining weight
was one that remained alien until relatively recently. Id taken to trawling the internet in search of trashy, tabloid diet success stories. Their lurid descriptions of
how the featured dieter gained all the
weight in the first place had always appealed to me, but my fateful search for
them online landed me in the midst of Dimensions Magazines online weight gain
story archive. Until this discovery, it had
never occurred to me that anyone shared
my peculiar fantasies.... let alone that
there might be people out there who were
actually putting this desire to grow fatter
into practice! The newly acquired knowledge that such people and their admirers
did exist was indescribably liberating. Almost instantly the weary anti-fat condi-

BELLADONNA EDWARDS
tioning of my relatives began to dissolve;
for the first time, I learnt to delight and to
revel in food; taking pleasure in every
mouthful and loving every extra pound that
my dedicated over-indulgence created!
Several years on, I am continue to grow
fatter, and am delighted to be fast approaching 400lbs. The body that I have
sculpted by way of my deliberate gluttony
is no longer something with which I am
at war. Quite the contrary. I love the warm,
comforting beach-ball of soft fat that has
become my belly. I delight in the creases
that are forming where my shins meet my
ankles, and am excessively fond of the way
in which my fat fingers dimple at the
knuckle. Strange as it may sound, I also
love the way in which every surplus pound
of flesh I carry insinuates a lack of command over my gluttonous tendencies.
Gluttony is the visible vice; the results of
it clear for all to see, and my increasing
size seems to betray the idea that I am
helpless to control my greed for food; becoming a slave to the desire to fill my belly... and the suspicion that the general
public assumes these things of me when
they see me waddling around the local supermarket is intoxicating!
My thrill at gaining weight is definitely
added to by the knowledge that my actions are so widely disapproved of. I used
to get a kick out of attending office social
functions and openly stuffing myself

12 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

whilst the ever-present brigade of Weight


Watchers enthusiasts whispered about
me amongst themselvesscandalised that
anyone so fat could not care about how
many calories she was consuming. I frequently go through supermarket checkouts with a trolley piled high with pizzas
and ice-cream, watching the cashiers face
for that familiar expression which lands
somewhere between disgust, and pity as
she scans through my purchases and
silently debates as to whether she should
recommend her latest diet to me...
Many would label me masochistic for
delighting in the horror I seem so easily able
to inspire with my size, but my pleasure in
disgusted reactions, such as those of my
former colleagues and the checkout assistant, are more to do with the knowledge
that I have chosen a path that is shocking,
and so completely contrary to what everyone assumes I should want that complete
strangers see fit to offer advice about what
I should be doing in order to lose weight! I
relay details of all such encounters to my
feeder, and he relishes them as much as I
do. It becomes akin to a shared, private
jokeand one which promises more punch
lines the bigger I become.
I am not entirely certain of what size I
will eventually reach. At present, the obvious target is 400lbs. After that, probably
450, 500, 550, etc. With neither a limit nor
a final aim in mind, I intend to play my
expansion by ear, and in the right context,
(i.e. if health, finances, and the stability of
relationships permit) I could easily imagine myself at seven or eight hundred
pounds. Perhaps more.
Such dizzyingly high weights are a long
way down the road. It's quite possible that
my circumstances will prevent me attaining the 800lbs+ body that I have always fantasised about, but whether I succeed or get waylaid, merely attempting to
get there promises to provide both my
feeder and myself with plenty of fun.

Dim88

5/9/02

7:00 PM

Page 13

THE BEST OF

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Dimensions 13

5/9/02

7:01 PM

Page 14

INSIDE
Frannie Goes to the Hospital
You dont understand. I am parked in the front door of your emergency room, and I am not
moving my car until you find a way to get her into your hospital! Frannie couldnt breathe. Or
at least she couldnt breathe and walk at the same time. And she is scared. We all are. Melissa
and I took off from work, and Dr. McCarthys office is our first stop of the day. The clinic
has plenty of wheelchairs, but only the narrow kind, which narrows our options to
very slow walking with lots of lengthy rest
stops. All the chairs in the doctors office
have arms, so Melissa, Frannie, and I wait
on benches right in front of the elevator
doors.
We watch patients and drug reps come
and go and come and go. Its interesting
to see how many model-thin women in
strappy heels ply their trade in doctors offices, like the one we saw with her pointy
nipples poking out against her silky
spaghetti-strap top, pulling a rolling suitcase full of Viagra samples.
In short order Frannie has seen Dr. McCarthy, and with Melissa on one side and
me on the other, we are slowly making our
way down to the lab for blood tests and a
chest x-ray. They take Frannie immediately, and while Melissa and I wait, I sit on
a table in the waiting area, because there
are no hip-friendly chairs.
Once Frannie is finished, Melissa rushes ahead to get the chest x-rays back to the
doctor. Frannie walks a few steps and then
we stop and sit on a bench so she can catch
her breath. After a few minutes a man approaches me. May I ask you something?
he says politely, but almost tentatively.
Blood rushes to my face. I am feeling vulnerable today and not in the mood for unsolicited diet advice, which has presented
itself to me in this form before.
Is your name Frannie? I hesitate, then
shake my head from side to side. He looks
puzzled. But you look JUST like someone
I know, and her name is Frannie.
Well, I told him, my name isnt Frannie, but HERS is. He looks at Frannie and
shakes his head from side to side. Im Elizabeth. His eyes light up. Thats the OTHER woman!
With trepidation, and already knowing
the answer, I asked where he knew this
woman. For a moment, he reminds me of
a shy boy, kicking his toe in the sand. He
looks down, then back up. I like to think

Photo by B. Neil Osbourn

Dim88

ELIZABETH FISHER
my smile reassured him. A magazine
named Dimensions.
Despite the day we are having and how
badly Frannie feels, we smile and start
laughing. I hug him, shaking my head in
disbelief. Bear, our new friend, looks back
at Frannie. Do me a favor. Take off your
glasses. That brought immediate recognition. (You have to admire an FA who is
looking at our faces and not just our bodies!)
I cant believe its you! he exclaims.
When I saw you in the magazine I just knew
you were from up north. I never dreamed
you could be right here! He looks back at
me. You wrote about the Polka-Dot
Cuties! In the picture with your column
you look like this, he says excitedly, as he
cups his fingers together under his chin
and smiles back at me.
My wife, she reads Dimensions too!
Shes a tall woman, he explains, holding
his hand above his own head. Six feet tall
and when I met her she weighed two hundred sixty five pounds. We exchange
cards, and more conversation. As we say
our goodbyes and he turns to walk away,

14 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

he stops and looks back. You know, he


explains, I come here every morning at
6:30 a.m., and until just a few minutes
ago... I was tired.
Moments later we are back in Dr. McCarthys office. This time all three of us are
in the examining room, waiting for the test
results. We found out after the fact that he
made the decision to hospitalize Frannie
when he saw her making her way slowly
across the waiting room, laboring to both
walk and breathe at the same time. With
orders for a lung scan, we make our way
back to the car and to the hospital. The radiology department is waiting on us. Unfortunately, however, the emergency room
of the largest hospital in Louisiana is poorly prepared.
At the door to the emergency room,
Melissa hurries off to get a wide wheelchair, because Frannie has walked her last
few steps for the day. Fifteen minutes later Melissa is back, but empty handed. In
an 800-bed hospital, there is not one large
wheelchair to be found. They said to try
at the front entrance of the hospital.
We had suffered through the clinic not
having a wide wheelchair, we had worked
our way around the size unfriendly seating in the doctors office and at the lab, and
wed walked much further in one day that
any person who can hardly breathe should
have. But we were NOT going door-to-door
at the hospital searching for a way to get
Frannie inside.
I pick up my cell phone, guess at the
main phone number for the hospital, and
within seconds I am on the phone with the
patient services coordinator.
She said shed try to find a wide wheelchair, but she wasnt convincing. After a
pregnant pause, a deep breath, and several hurriedly chosen words (the ones I
started this column with), our conversation ended. Almost immediately the head
of emergency services is at our car window. Talking to Frannie through the open
window, while discreetly taking her pulse
she asks me, Does your air conditioner
continued on page 61

Dim88

5/9/02

7:01 PM

Page 15

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Dim88

5/9/02

7:02 PM

Page 16

WELL
BEING
Coping in the Face of a Serious Crisis
We have all been through a recent disaster. In addition, we each have to cope with serious
personal crises such as deaths of loved ones, or major attacks on our psyches and/or our
bodies (or those of loved ones) at some points in our lives. Since nothing is certain except
death and taxes, we might as well learn some ways to help us through such serious crises.
First and foremost is safety. Get to a safe place, then you can face what comes next.
If you are in crisis due to living with a physically and/or psychologically abusive person, leave them. Call a friend or family
member, the police, a shelter; go to a hospital emergency room. In the 9/11 disaster, many people who could not go home
were taken in by friends or family, or were
taken care of by disaster-relief agencies
like the Red Cross. Those who could go
home, did soand many are still staying
much closer to home than previously.
One of the gifts of a disaster is often
the altruism which emerges from people.
Womens shelters, hospitals, soup
kitchens, blood banks, and many other
places of mercy have been founded, funded, and staffed by people who want to
help, whether or not they themselves have
gone through similar major crises. Finding a way to take action is helpful for many
who survive disasterincluding children.
After 9/11, children sold lemonade, baked
cookies, made thank-you cards, and collected toys to help less fortunate children
or to buoy the spirits of rescue workers.
After a terrible hurricane hit Florida some
years ago, members of the fat community collected and sent large clothing to help
hurricane survivors who were fat.
One mistake made by millions of people in the immediate aftermath of 9/11 was
to watch incessant televised replays of the
disaster. As a result, many people who
were not in the immediate vicinity of the
World Trade Center developed symptoms
of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
such as difficulty sleeping, digestive problems and other physical ailments, or fearfulness from stimuli such as the sound of
planes flying overhead. Decades after a
war, battlefield veterans may cringe at the
sound of firecrackers. If we are not immediately physically endangered, we do
not have to further endanger our psyches
by replaying televised sounds and images,

BARBARA ALTMAN BRUNO, PH.D.


or by viewing gory photos. One or two replays is more than enough. If we want to
keep up with the latest developments, we
may not have to do so just before bedtime.
Parents should protect their children from
traumatic images, and to let their children
know that adults are there to protect them.
Treatment is available for survivors of
major crises. A powerful and effective tool
to help survivors who cannot stop replaying their disasters in their minds, involves
eye movement. Many therapists are
trained to perform EMDR (Eye Movement
Desensitization and Reprocessing), EMI
(Eye Movement Integration), or similar
techniques. Talking either individually
with a psychotherapist, in a group with
other survivors, or in a combination of
both is extremely helpful in recovering
from disaster. Therapists and survivors
can both facilitate learning new ways to
cope following trauma. I know many therapists, physicians, and other healers who
chose their careers in response to traumas
in their own lives.
Christiane Northrup, M.D., says that
meditation and prayer have been scientifically proven to have a positive effect on

everyone and everything. She said a series of studies had shown that terrorism,
suicide, accidents, and international conflicts decrease when approximately 1% of
the population engages in twice-daily transcendental meditation (TM). A study in the
Middle East found that, when an assembly of 7,000 practitioners of TM was held,
international conflicts decreased more
than 30% and terrorism decreased by more
than 70% (Orme-Johnson, Alexander,
Davies, et. al [1988]. International Peace
Project in the Middle East: The effect of the
Maharishi Technology of the Unified
Field.)
Northrup also said that anything you
can do that makes you feel lighter and
more peaceful will help. I found myself
playing numerous games on the computer, listening to peaceful music, and keeping up with my exercise. Physical activity
is a wonderful remedy for relieving stress
and promoting restful sleep. Prayer, either
alone or with others, is a great source of
both guidance and solace.
Learning is one of the gifts of coping
with trauma. Windows open to new insights, such as what is really important in
life. After the 9/11 disaster, many people
changed their jobs, marital and relationship status, residences, and priorities.
When life just goes along normally, these
windows tend to close, and we tend to go
about our normal business. When we are
faced with a major crisis in our lives, wisdom is a major gift that can accompany
the pain.
For Cheri Erdman, Ed.D., author of
Nothing to Lose and Live Large!, a major
crisis was being sent away at age five to
lose weight at a residential treatment facility. In Nothing to Lose, she says to her
five-year-old self, Thank you for being
brave and strong enough to withstand the
separation from your family. Thank you
continued on page 61

16 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

Dim88

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Page 17

Dimensions

Spring 2002

17

Dim88

5/9/02

7:03 PM

Page 18

CLIPPINGS
assembled by Jan Herrick of Vendredi Enterprises

SHES RIGHT

Heather Mills, Paul McCartneys fiance


and a former model, is quoted in People
magazine as saying, I hope there is a
trend toward using more real-size women
and more real-age women. The modeling
industry typically uses 6-year-old girls,
makes them look 25 and then tells them
they need wrinkle cream.

PALTROWIAN RESPONSE

Also reported in People, Gwyneth Paltrow


says she hates her body and can never be
thin enough. The 58, 119 lb. actress follows a macrobiotic diet, never eats dairy
products, meat, wheat, sugar, coffee, or
drinks alcohol, and works out a lot. I never think Im thin enough or toned enough
or my boobs are big enough, she laments.
We all carry around these things based
on how society expects us to look. She
found out how fat people are treated when
she wore a rubber fat suit for her movie
Shallow Hal. I was shocked at how I was
ignored. People would literally not make
eye contact with me. It was so isolating.

THEN WHY IS SHE SO THIN?

When I go to the movies, I might say,


Wow, that girls got a nice butt. But its
not enough to make me give up eating
what I want. Actress Julie Roberts, on
her lack of motivation to diet, to W. In a
Good Housekeeping interview she says,
Im not one of those idiot girls who takes
two bites and goes, Ugh, I just cant eat
another thing! Im like a cow. I could eat
a little all day long. Thats my perfect day.
She also reveals that she loves pancakes,
Haagen-Dazs ice cream, Twinkies, crab
cakes, and toast with grits.

and feelings of self-loathing says an insider, according to The National Enquirer tabloid.

THATS WEIRD, DUDE

Also noted in The National Enquirer is actor Matt Damons latest diet plan: All his
food has to be 80% alkaline and 20%
acidic, and he then chews every bite 40
times because that supposedly increases
its alkalinity. However, it takes him so long
to finish meals that friends are asking him
to start early and theyll arrive later.

across this countryrich and poor, black


and whiteare getting beaten. Im here to
tell you there is a way out. If you stay, you
may not get a second chance.

NOW THATS A DILEMMA!

Wealthy Oprah fan Catherine Reynolds


was ready to donate $38 million to the
Smithsonian museums new contemporary hall of fame, if the museum would
include Oprah. The museum objected to
honoring a woman who shot to stardom
because of her battles with the bulge. A
Smithsonian representative is quoted in
The National Examiner tabloid as saying,
Is this really what we want in our greatest museum? Someone famous for the size
of her bottom? Ms. Reynolds took her $38
million back!

OUT-OF-SHAPE RECRUITS

Research on rodents find aspirinlike drugs


help guard cells from the ravages of inflammation AND help reduce their resistance to insulin. The compounds also
seem to stimulate tissue in the pancreas
to make more insulin, the hormone that
helps the body convert sugar to energy.
Large quantities of aspirin are toxic and
can cause severe bleeding, but a group is
working on a novel form of aspirin thats
safer on the gastric tract. It is not yet available, but research and development is ongoing to make it so in the future.

Its getting harder and harder for the military to whip young recruits into shape.
Americas preparedness is being jeopardized by its problems with increased obesity among the young. The U.S. Naval
Academy, for example, says that this falls new batch of recruits is the most out of
shape its ever seen. Statistics show that
of the more than 1,000 freshmen in the
new class, only about 240 were considered
in the excellent range on health and fitness tests. The academy is rethinking its
training programs to deal with just-graduated high school students who cant take
part in the usual rounds of exercise and
training immediately.

WONDER DRUG

INSULIN PILLS

THERE THEY GO AGAIN

Purdue University scientists believe


theyve found a way to make insulin for
diabetics available in pills instead of shots.
The breakthrough is a new acrylic-based,
gel-like coating on the pills to improve the
bodys absorption of insulin. Previous efforts to control diabetes with pills have
failed because the body digests them
much too fast. The new product, so far
tested only in diabetic rats and dogs, can
potentially overcome these barriers, says
researcher Nicholas Peppas.

From Bill Bonners Daily Reckoning investment newsletter: Tobacco has been
shown to reduce the incidence of
Alzheimers disease. Smokers are less likely to fall asleep at the wheel of a car. And
one report I saw said smokers were more
productive on the job. In fact, a colleague
told me yesterday that the biggest burden
on employers was neither the smokers nor
the drinkers, but the eaters. Fat people, in
other words, are more of a problem in the
workplace than smokers.

THE NEVERENDING OPRAH SAGA

Oprah Winfrey says shes tired of constantly depriving herself and is just letting
her body find the weight its most happy
at. After working out for hours a day on
a treadmill and constantly watching what
she ate, she maintained much of the 60 lb.
weight loss she had in 1988. She is reportedly now up to 257 pounds., her heaviest ever. Despite telling friends shes OK
with being heavy, she still experiences guilt

MONIQUE ADVICE

Comedienne MoNique, star of UPNs hit


series The Parkers, reveals that her first
husband was abusive and, even though
MoNique is a large woman, tossed her
around like a rag doll. After he pulled a
knife on her she eventually called police
and he served time in jail. Today
MoNique is happily remarried and telling
women this excellent advice, Women

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PUT OSTI ON A DIET?

Stout or slender bear? The battle is on at


Berkeley, California. Osti, the University
of California at Berkeleys mascot is at the
center of the conflict. Some want the burly
bear to shed a few pounds while others
prefer he remain as is. A bill was placed
before the student government calling for
a redesign of the poorly constructed and
pathetic version of a bear. .

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A History of Fat Admiration in

Popular Music
Talks about life, her preferences, and her video career
b y

at and popular music have co-existed for years. Performers such


as Cass Elliot, Carnie Wilson, and
Christopher Big Pun Rios have
shown that one does not need to be thin
to be successful in the music mainstream.
Having successful fat people in the media is crucial to the fat acceptance movement. Despite the fact that for every fat
pop star there are one hundred thin pop
stars; these pioneers have helped breakdown the prevalent stereotypes of fat people.
So there have been fat performers, but
what about fat admiration as a theme in
popular music? Certainly there is no lack
of songs that praise the female form, but
are there songs that praise the larger
woman? Has the preference of the fat admirer been excluded from the mainstream, once again relegated to the realm
of the misunderstood? Thankfully, the
answer is no. Just like there are not as
many fat pop stars as there should be,
there are not enough songs that praise
larger women. But the examples do exist. And speaking as a fat admirer, they
were crucial to the understanding of my
preference.
Undoubtedly, there were odes to fullfigured women sung by Renaissance minstrels. But in recent times, it was not until the second half of the 20th century that
songs referring to womens bodies were
tolerated on commercial airwaves. Attitudes toward sex became increasingly relaxed throughout the late 1960s and 70s.
This led to a proliferation of artists unafraid to acknowledge the female form.
Before then, artists wrote ambiguous love
songs with no explicit content.
Once these walls were taken down, it
was not long before fat appreciation
made its way into popular music. This
history begins with one of the best.
Queens Fat Bottomed Girls is the FA rally song. Every lyric is worthy of repeat in

this article, but the chorus speaks for the


song as a whole.
Are you gonna take me home tonight?
Ah, down beside that red fire light. Are you
gonna let it all hang out? Fat bottomed
girls you make the rocking world go
round
Fat Bottomed Girls, with words and
music by Brian May, is a song that gives
large women the full credit they are due.
Not only does it sexualize fat women, it
implies that sex with a fat woman can be
more intense than with a thin woman.
What a revolutionary concept! It also
refers to the individuality of the fat womans form. You cannot help but love lyrics
like, Ive seen every blue-eyed floozy on
the way, but their beauty and their style
went kind of smooth after a while. Take
me to them lovely ladies every time. The
song recognizes that the body of a fat
woman is unique, and worthy of praise
for its individuality.
Fat Bottomed Girls was released as a 45
with the song Bicycle Race in 1978. It became a hit for the group, reaching number 24 on the USA Billboard charts and
number 11 in the UK. It reached number
7 in Holland, which speaks well for the
good taste of the Dutch people. The single features a picture of a BBW wearing a
bikini while riding a bicycle, leaving no
questions about the records intentions.
I can only wonder how many fat admirers bought the single merely for the cover art alone! The song has withstood the
test of time, and remains a fat admiration
classic.
This next one will probably be a bit of
a shocker- AC/DCs (You Shook Me) All
Night Long from 1980. I knowI
knowit is one of the hallmarks of conventional machismo in the history of rock
and roll, but it can be interpreted as a
cheer for the large woman.
She had the sightless eyes, telling me
no lies, knockin me out with those Amer-

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P e t e

S c h a e f e r

ican thighs. Taking more than her share


had me fighting for air she told me to come
but I was already thereShe was one of a
kind, shes just mine all mine. She wanted no applause just another course. Made
a meal out of me and came back for more
I am not sure what an Australian rocker means by the term American thighs,
but the line taking more than her share
implies to me that the thighs in question
are quite ample. Take the following excerpt from the chorus the walls were
shaking, the earth was quaking Could
a skinny woman accomplish this feat? I
think not. (You Shook Me) All Night Long
implies that pleasure is to be found in a
lover with size and strength, a positive
message that strikes a chord among fat
admirers. A similar tone can be found in
another AC/DC song titled Whole Lotta
Rosie.
Wanna tell you a story bout a woman
I know. When it comes to lovin oh she
steals the show. She aint exactly pretty.
Aint exactly small. Forty-two, thirty-nine,
fifty-six. You could say shes got it all
AC/DC make no apologies for the love
of large women on Whole Lotta Rosie. The
object of their desire is a woman who is
not just plump, but has dimensions of 4239-56. The aint exactly pretty line can
be interpreted as negative. But aint exactly pretty could refer to not conforming to the beauty standard.
It is too bad that Whole Lotta Rosie was
not one of their bigger hits. The song is
a great example of exalting the pleasures
of fat women, and it makes one wonder
if these Aussie rockers have an FA or two
in the group.
Spinal Taps Big Bottom was not a commercial success, but the 1984 Rob Reiner film This Is Spinal Tap was a cult hit.
The song might not have been popular in
the mainstream, but Big Bottom was popular among the FAs I know. The rock-parody groups bass-heavy song praises the

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Other songs deserve honorable mentions. Brick House by the Commodores describes the attraction of a large woman
who is lettin it all hang out and aint
holding nothing back. K.D. Langs Big
Boned Gal describes a large woman who
puts the onlookers into a trance when she
is out on the dance floor. And Peter
Gabriels Kiss of Life features lyrics such as
See me a big woman, big woman so full of
lifebig woman going to be my wife.
Music is a powerful medium for decreasing size discrimination and for increasing awareness of fat admiration. This
history varies in form and content, but the
message is clear that beauty comes in all
sizes. And there is no doubt that more fat
admiring songs will follow in the near future.

pleasures of a well-endowed pear.


Big bottom. Big bottom. Talk about bum
cakes, my gals got em. Big bottom, drive
me out of my mind. How can I leave this
behind?
The song is extremely explicit, which is
in accordance with the groups over-thetop style. Spinal Taps material is commonly interpreted as ironic and comedic.
But taken at face value, one can embrace
the fat admiring tone as honest and worthy of praise. There are not many songs
that go into detail about the pleasures of
making love to a woman with a sizable
rear. And we fat admirers need to take the
support when it is available.
No history of fat admiration in popular
music would be complete without the inclusion of Sir Mix-A-Lots Baby Got Back.
The African-American community has always been more tolerant of women with
more curves. In fact, women with boyish
figures are often seen as not desirable. This
is a dramatic difference from the beauty
standards for European-Americans. This
difference was brought to the forefront in
popular music by the release of Baby Got
Back in 1991.
Im tired of magazines saying flat butts
are the thing. Take the average black man
and hell say that she gotta pack much back.
Fellas (yeah) fellas (yeah) has your girlfriend
got the butt (hell yeah). Well shake it, shake
it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt.
Baby got back.

This hip-hop classic covers a lot of territory. The music video begins with two
White supermodels chastising an attractive Black woman for her large rear. Baby
Got Back is an all-out attack on the boylike ideal of the White mainstream culture.
In the video, Sir Mix-A-Lot quickly makes
his preference known, most notably with
the 20-foot tall sculpture of a large womans bottom. The dancers in the video who
are supposed to have back look pretty
small to me, but this does not downplay
the positive message behind the song.
Equating big with healthy is not something
you see every day in the mainstream. This
bold statement by Sir Mix-A-Lot is not
afraid to say that being as thin as possible
does not automatically make someone as
healthy as possible (or as attractive).
This tradition of hip-hop songs that
praise large bottoms continues. One of the
biggest rap hits of 1999 was Juveniles Back
That Thang Up, which featured lyrics such
as, Girl you look good why dont you back
that thang up. Youre a big, fine woman
wont you back that thang up. AfricanAmerican performers such as Queen Latifah, Missy Elliot, and Lil Kim continue to
show that one does not have to be thin to
be a popular hip-hop performer. There is
a much greater percentage of larger people in hip-hop than in any other genre, and
this is a result of the more accepting attitude toward fat among the African-American community.

Are you
gonna take me
home tonight?
Ah, down
beside that red
fire light. Are
you gonna let
it all hang
out? Fat
bottomed girls
you make the
rocking world
go round
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CAT

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These pages
are to show
and honor the
art of an extraordinary
woman. See
her work at
www.catay.com

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What started out as a single web page bent on self-exposure has turned into a multi-faceted site just
four years later. The images on these pages are just a small representation of the massive monster
that is catay.com.
The internet is an amazing thing - one can put forth a little effort and gain so very much in return.
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I have received gifts from some visitors, but more importantly, I have
received an overwhelming amount
of positive reinforcement, many
new wonderful friends, exposure
to the art world at an international
art show, experience to further my
career, and the knowledge that I
have positively affected hundreds
(maybe thousands?) of people
over the years.
With what was considered a very
intangible thing digital imagery,
I am able to make very real
changes in their personal perceptions. Reaching out and connecting on a very real level with the site
astonishes me even now, four
years after its inception.
Fat (and even some thin!) women
have written me to let me know
that Ive boosted their own sense
of self-worth. Seeing my positively
portrayed photos and words, they

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were able to make incredible


changes in their own lives
breaking free of the comfort of
self-hatred that so many large
women possess. What a marvelous feeling to know that I
was able to inspire change in
their belief system with a simple, passive collection of images...of, well, me.
Not only women, but some
men have written that before
seeing my site, they never gave
fat women a second glance.
Now, the societally reinforced
blindfold is removed and some
have written to say they have
actually started dating larger
women. With any luck, some of
those guys will find the women
in the previous paragraph.
Changing the Way the World
Views Fat Chicks, One Visitor at
a Time is the motto of my site.
With any luck, this will continue
to hold true.

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ANA

am a 29-year-old FrenchCanadian BBW from


Montreal. I love Montreal. When it comes to going out or getting your daily dose of adrenaline, you
just cant beat this city, but
I do also have an appreciation for the counryside. First
and foremost Im an artist.
I currently make my living
creating original jewelry, but
I also do photographs and
sculptures. I enjoy dancing
(Ive been taking Flamenco
courses for about four years
now), listening to music,
and singing, and I have a
weakness for international
cuisine, particularly sushi.
I design and create most
of my clothing myself. This
is due to the fact that there
are not many choices for
BBW clothing here in Quebec. Obviously, that means
Ive measured myself more
than once. I still remember
my measurements from
four years ago. Back then,
they were 54-45-65, with my
thighs measuring 39 inches
and upper arms 20.5. Not
anymore! I am now a 55
5270, with my thighs measuring 42 inches and my upper arms 22. If you ask my
FA boyfriend to comment
on this he would say Ah
what love can do!
As for my current weight,
I cant say for sure! At the
Ms. BBBB contest last year,
I remember going to a vendor who had an electronic
scale to accommodate up to
500+ pounds. I stepped on
and my weight was hovering right around 340
pounds. That was up 70
pounds from three years
earlier, when I met my current boyfriend. Its hard to
find a scale that goes high
enough to weigh myself and
I stopped doing it as soon as
I kicked the diets out the
door, so my current weight
is a mystery. I know for sure
it is higher than when I last
checked.

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This reminds me of a personal story. It was when I last went to see my doctor
and she wanted to weigh me. I warned her that I would probably be over the
scales weight limit, but she didnt believe me. When I stepped on the scale,
she saw that I had been right as the scale just went up to its maximum weight
and stopped. We both looked at the scale and burst out laughing, and she
was a bit embarrassed at the situation. She also didnt know what to write
in my medical report under weight. She said that had never happened
to her before. Well I guess there is a first time for everything.
When I was 12, my mother used to take me to doctors, nutritionists
and psychologists to try to solve my weight problem. One of them,
a health guru, proposed that I start this diet of either drinking grape
juice or eating a fat-free, sugar-free (and completely taste-free) pudding three times a day. I suffered through the regimen and when he
weighed me at the end of the torture, my mother anxiously whispered:
Please, not 200 pounds, please The doctor realized her agony. After the
weighing he waited for a few moments as if he had decide what he was going to tell her, and then said with authority 199! Little did my parents
know, after three months I was putting sugar in that very same
pudding to quietly protest against the diet.
I was on one diet or another for many years, without
any lasting results. I gradually got more interested
in the nutritional aspect of diets and general health, and how biased people can be when it comes to
their bodies. Today, I find it
sad to see people fighting
against their bodies for
their whole lifetime. I still
consider it to be important
to have a healthy and vigorous body. After all, you
have to be able to parade
that fabulous figure! But I
gave up the futile pursuit of
thinness five years ago. Most
people will agree it isnt something you decide in one day. It just
slowly builds inside you, with the
help of the right people and
many little daily reflections on
the matter.
One of the positive aspects about winning the
Ms. BBBB contest was
for me to wake up
and spread awareness to some people
at home on the subject of fat acceptance. A few
weeks after winning, I was interviewed in a
Canadian
newspaper.
The article was
very positive
and also contained some
pictures of me,
including one in
the very same
bikini that I wore
in the contest. Hours
after the article was
printed, I was contacted
by a leading French-Canadian talk-show. They invited me to do a full show

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on
the subject of fat acceptance and my
life. I accepted. The one-hour episode, titled Being
300 Pounds Doesnt Mean You Cant Be Seductive, gave me
a chance to show that its possible to be fat and feel good about it. That
yes, you can wear a bikini! That yes, you can be fat and have a smart, goodlooking boyfriend that loves you for your soul AND your body. That I can be fat,
sexy and show it off! I tried to leave them with the idea that you CAN be fat and happy.
According to the ratings, they had over half a million people watching that particular
show. Translated in the American market, this would be roughly 30 millions viewers! It really
shows how curious and skeptical people are about the subject. The best part though was the number of positive comments I received following the airing. People would stop me on the street to tell
me that finally somebody dared to say that fat is beautiful, or to show that there are so many people who will not admit they find fat people attractive (they showed some pictures Ive had recently taken). Lets not forget, here in Quebec we dont have a lot of super-size BBW. I feel Ive changed the mentality of a few people. I must also give credit to my boyfriend for his supreme effort in coming on the air
to represent fat admirers, and all of the BBW that appeared as well.
Im very happy to have participated in the Heavenly Bodies Ms. BBBB contest. I think the Heavenly
Bodies group is doing a fabulous job with the dances. They are really helping a lot of people feel better about themselves and accept their body. I sincerely hope that they will be running events for
a long time, because they are a nice occasions to have fun and meet all kinds of people.
On a final note, some of you may have noticed that I do not have a presence online. To
be honest with you, I discovered the Internet only two years ago. I do not go online often, averaging maybe an hour a week. So if you posted to me on one of the message
boards out there and I did not respond, it was not personal or anything. I simply didnt see your posting.
If you would like to contact me, you may do so by sending an email to anadimensions@yahoo.com.

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heres bad news for


FA readers who
come to this page
and immediately

fall head over heels for Bobbie, one of this months featured Dimensions models
and the winner of Dimensions Onlines Wannabes
Round 11 Contest. Sorry,
guys .. shes married, and
happily so.
But dont despair! Bobbie
works full-time on the
ifriends website as what she
proudly calls a webcam
girl.
A resident of Atlanta, Bobbie says she has always
been big and admits that
she peaked at just under
300. These days, she
weighs in at about 280, and
she notes that the only reason shes lost weight is because her job puts her under a lot of stress.

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M e e t

BIG BLACK BEAUTIFUL


L i l l y

ello everyone! My name


is Lilly and I am a Semisupersized, Black, Big
Beautiful Woman from
Boston, MA. I am so excited to be featured here
in Dimensions Magazine. I have been
a loyal subscriber for many years and
during some of the toughest times
of my life I have gathered inspiration
from the beautiful, confident women
featured on the pages hereso it is
truly humbling for me to be here
among them. Thanks, Conrad, for

making the world a better place. Your


efforts are more far reaching than
you know.
Let me take this opportunity to
congratulate Ana for winning the first
Miss BBBB contest! As you can see,
she is truly a beautiful woman both
inside and outcongratulations
daaaaaahling! And thank you to
Heather Boyle and Conrad Blickenstorfer for letting me be here in the
first place. Believe me, this is a personal milestone for me that I will never forget. Also, thank you to all of you

38 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

who voted and cheered me on. YAY!


It was a wonderful weekend and truly a privilege to meet so many wonderful and big-hearted people - thank
you.
Now on to stats! I am just shy of 5
feet 7 inches if I stand up straight and
tall in my bare feet. At the time of
this writing I weigh 353 pounds and
I wear a size 30/32, but that number
changes from week to week so dont
hold me to it, please. Measurement
wise I have a 55 in chest, 47 in. waist
and a 63 in. hip circumference. The

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photos you are seeing here were taken by my older brother.


I love my body! It took a long time
for me to be able to say that due to
all the negative vibes people put out
about weight. I remember as a child
running over to my Grandmother
whenever she came over to the
house and squishing her huge cushy
arms in my hands. So doughy and
soft - till mom would shoo me away
from her in embarrassment. I was always so disappointed. Now I have
huge cushy arms of my own, albeit
much firmer than my Grandmothers. They say the fat gene skips a
generation and it is apparent that my
Grandmas fat gene skipped right
over the rest of the family to me!
The thing I love most about my
body is my skin. I am a skin fanatic
and take care to show love to my skin

by keeping it clean and moisturized


every day. Being able to walk around
in the summer and show off my skin
in tank tops and shorts is a highlight
for me. Im suffering from a mild
bout of Spring fever and cant wait
to finally put away my winter clothes
in favor of warmer weather wear.
Then begins the daunting task of trying to see what in my closet still fits.
During the day I work a regular 9
to 5 office job. But part time, music
is my passion. I have been singing
since birth and have been a bum to
the performance circuit the moment
I graduated from high school.
Through my endeavors I have been
in many performances and have traveled all across the United Stated, the
Far East and Europe. Im hoping my
adventures will continue. I will keep
at it until I get my first chance to sing

a lead role in a major opera! That


would be something. Heres hoping
that it happens someday.
One of the things people remark
upon about me the most is how confident I am.
I have a very bold and outgoing
personality and no matter what I do
I am always trying to invite people
in with a smile and with confidence.
But it was not always this way. I spent
almost the entire first years of my life
living like a great big apology to
everyone. Always making excuses for
why I was so large and the rest of my
family was not. Scolded openly for
every morsel of food I had ever eaten from people who really had no
business doing so. So I wasted all that
time working hard trying to diet my
way to being somebody elseANYBODY else. Id heard of FAs but Id

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never met any. At least none that would admit so openly.


And any attention I did get I had convinced myself somehow that the person was merely toying with me for some
reason, or maybe they could not see my fat clearly through
the outfit I was wearing. I was truly a miserable, delusional
and unhappy person and it showed on the outside. There were
glimmers of times when I would look in the mirror and like what I
saw but the image would soon fade once the world presented me with yet another reason I should hate myself.
The defining moment came when I had a hard crush
on a musician I met through my adventures in music. He was a gorgeous talented artist and I was harboring a crush on him BIG time and lo and behold - looked like he was checking me out too!
Wow, what intrigue there was as we made eyes
back and fourth from across the room all during practice. My heart skipped a beat - it was
just like I thought it would be from all the romance books I had ever read. As the practice
was over, he rose from his seat and turned towards me and smiled. I promptly grabbed my
coat and purse, and ran from the building like
the devil himself was on my heels. I was absolutely terrified of him. As I rode home on
the subway with hot tears streaming down
my face it was then I decided enough was
enough! I was sick and tired of being sick and
tired and decided it was time to change my
life for good. I embarked upon a journey of
reinvention and I never looked back. If I can
do it, ANYONE can.
Along the way I have met some pretty
amazing people. Getting to meet Brie Brown
at the Big Sensations dances that she hosted
was indeed a thrill and a pleasure. I had seen her
gracing the pages of Dimensions Magazine on
many occasions but how wonderful to meet her in person and discover that she is beautiful both inside and out.
I had already come a long way from the mousy frightened
shell of a person I was but going to New England BBW
dances opened me up to a whole new world of pride, self
confidence and size acceptance. Thanks Brie!
And then theres Heather Boyle. Heather deserves a whole
new paragraph to herself. Diva Heather, hostess of the Heavenly Bodies Dances in New England is a wild one! She truly puts
herself personally out in the line of fire for the cause. I dont think
shes ever met a stranger in her life. For all that you do, Heather
- thanks! I am privileged to count both Heather Boyle and Brie
Brown among my friends.
It was sweet Heather who snatched me out of the breadline
and encouraged me to leap blindly into the Miss BBBB contest. I
entered the contest on a whim, wearing this sparkly rainbow colored suspender tankini (size 14) that I bought off the rack at Bradlees
for $7.99. The suit was so tight I thought sure the buckles that held
it together would snap and take somebodys eye out. So many beautiful, creative and talented women in that contest - I was really intimidated by all the beauty that was around me. What a surprise when I
won First Runner-Up. Thanks again one and all!
Well thats about it for now. If you would like to see more of me, I do
not have a website per se. But I do have a small fan club at Yahoo! Groups
with a meager following. You can keep up with me and my adventures
by going to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/voteforlilith/. Hope to see
you there!
Thanks once again and peace to you all!
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LIGHTWEIGHT
A Page Briant Contract
BY WILSON BARBERS

age Briant returned to his office,


feeling disgusted with himself.
What a bollix. Trailing an acromeg
suspected of trafficking in bootleg stim chips, hed lost the creep on the
metrowire. A rookie flub that he wasnt
looking forward to reliving with his client,
Raymond Fab. Serve him right, Page
thought, if the media man cancelled his
contract.
He reached upfloor, and was immediately attracted by an override message on
his wall. Took plenty of pull to superimpose yourself over everybody elses coms,
so of course Page took it. He was as susceptible to status moves as the next guy.
A familiar face filled the wall. Not someone Page had met, but a well-known figure in Adipost Zone: H. Russ Russell, head
of the Adipost Merchants Association and
a big name in sweed, asking Page to hop
over to his place of biz. Post haste. Page
wired downfloor to Gins Joint instead,
found his wife sitting in the food prep area,
tasting items and overseeing their presentation.
Two waves of basil, she was saying as
he entered the kitchen. Gin was finishing
off a plate of eggplant Parmesan when she
registered his presence, and the smile on
her multi-chinned face was enough to
make him forget his earlier trak-up. Off to
her side, the kitchen unit flashed its acknowledgement.
Sometimes I miss the simple act of personal cooking, she confided to Page, but
you cant produce the volume this place
needs without a good sized kitchen unit.
Turning away from the cooking area, she
grabbed a squeezee full of liquical and
slowly followed Page out onto the food
bars main floor. Behind her, two nu-

tritechs fed raw supplies into the kitchen


unit.
What you know about this H. Russ Russell? he asked her, giving her an appreciative once over. He had gotten out of bed
before her, so was seeing her for the first
time that day. Ginny was really looking
fine. Metric ton body packed in a form fitting apron dress. Long hair done up in a
bun. Platform almost invisible beneath her
beautiful forefront. A model of adipost
womanhood.
Hilly? she said. Knew him when he
was a skinny free-lancer doing consult
work for the hydroponix biz. Hills okay if
you only take him half as seriously as he
does himself.
Sounded a bit pompous on the wall.
Youve dealt with worse, she said as
he leaned into her body to give her a kiss.
Maybe. But after this a.m.s performance,
Im still feelin kinda weightless. He kissed
her slowly, tasting capuccino liquical on
her lips.
Never that, Gin smiled, pinching his
paunchy reg-sized midriff affectionately.
Have I told you lately how glad am I to
have you back? she asked.
You have, he answered. But I dont
mind hearing it again.
Feeling slightly better, Page left the
chomp n bounce for Mormaid Sweedco.
The day looked bright, filled with promise.
Be nice, he thought, if he got a steady contract with the A.M.A.
He arrived at Mormaid at 1240. Soon as
he hit the entry area, the receptionist sent
him upfloor to Russells living space.
The loft was expectedly spacious, with
oceanic holos lining the walls. He found
Russell with an attractive 650 kg. brunette
in a clingy black dress, both of em work-

48 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

ing on lunch. Russell was a full-blown male


adipost in the 800 kg. range, dressed in a
business suit tailor-made to hug his voluminous frame. He covered his platform
with a casualness that spoke of years familiarity with his enhanced obesity.
Page Briant, the big man said. Heard
a lot about you in the past few weeks. I
want you to meet my wife, Ursula. He
gestured expansively toward the brunette,
who in turn invited Page to a place at
lunch. Hospitality was highly prized in adipost zone - no point in turning Ursula
down.
Its mutual, the op said as he grabbed
a pack of sweed and sour soy. Your call
looked pretty urgent. What can I do for
you?
Need you to find my daughter, Russell answered, running a hand through
thinning hair made more apparent by his
size.
Havent been buzzed by citygov, so I
assume this hasnt been reported yet.
You assume correctly, Russell huffed,
shifting his body mass forward so his belly draped onto the floor. A self-display,
Page thought, designed to make up for
something. Wanted to. But Ursula had
other ideas. He leaned back and
shrugged, as if to say, Whatre ya gonna
do?
Denis at that age where it helps to keep
things low-key, Ursula elaborated. I
thought if we went to someone like you
free-lance, without all the cityreg trappings, it might make it easier to get the girl
back home.
Good for you, Page thought. Clear who
the steadying influence in this family was.
Got a holo of the girl? he asked. Russell reached into his pocket, and while
Photo by Warren Skalski of the Chicago Tribune

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Page worked on his brunchpack, he


snapped on the holo. A pre-enhancement
reg female, cinnamon hair with the zaftig
build you saw in a lot of girls born to adipost parents, stood between two food
packs. Looked like she was knocking on
the age of medtech consent. Maybe 110
cageys. Pretty kid, he said.
Takes after her mother, Russell says.
I was a weed at her age. Deni has potential. He turned to pat his wife on the
arm, and in that moment, Page could see
how much he was connected to Ursula.
So gimme the details behind her disappearance.
There wasnt much. Deni had left for
the edustim center three days ago. She
hadnt returned. She wasnt usually the
kind of kid who skipped one of her parents meals.
She knows how important it is to work
up for an enhancement, Russell said,
breaking up the holo with his fist. Ursula said nothing, but she handed her husband a pack and took over.
Anything else we can tell you? she
asked.
Deni got any friends?
Been hangin out with a girl named
Maggie for the past year, Ursula told him.
A preocc nutritech in her last months
at the center. Lovely young adipost - she
just got enhanced.
Bet she was properly prepped for it,
Russell muttered, and Ursula rolled her
eyes.
Id like to check out Denis space,
Page decided. Ursula rose and led him to
the girls screened-off bedspace. The area
was spare, notable only for a state-of-theart PC board and headpiece. Dont see
many of these in adipost homes, Page
thought, running his seal over the units
eyepiece. With a probe, he could probably reproduce its last image.
He looked around some more, found
nothing and returned to the waiting couple to seal his contract. Once the formalities were completed, Page asked for a
copy of Denis holochip. Russell gestured
to the one on the tray, so he took it and a
couple sweed rolls besides. That last won
an approving nod from both Russell and
his wife.
No wonder they were in the food biz;
like Ginny, they clearly got immense pleasure from the sight of others eating their
wares.
It was mid-afternoon when Page got to
Annabella Edustim Center, but that was
when attendance was at its highest. With
the repeal of mandatory education dur-

ing the post-literacy boom, educational


facilities had to work hard to pander to
their customers attention spans. The
modern edustim center primarily operated as rec building, stim salon and trayfood joint; the presentation of edustims
was deliberately treated as a sideline. According to the Russells, though, Deni was
into a pretty advanced line of edustims.
At least they were getting regularly billed
for em.
The receptionist, dressed in a retro
looking muumuu, barely looked old
enough to have finished with edustims
herself. Did a nice a job stretching out that
muumuu, though. Briant sidled up the
desk, flashed his seal then asked if she was
familiar with Deni Russell. She looked at
Denis holo thoughtfully and pursed her
plump lips.
Person you wanna ask is Maggie
Dupois, she finally said. She was pretty tight with yer friend here.
Was?
Ill let Maggie speak for herself on that
un, the receptionist said. Though from
the tone in her voice Page could tell it
wouldnt take much prying to get it out
of her. Shes doin preocc work in the
cafeteria, you wanna go ask her. You miss
her, Ill still be here.
She pointed toward a nearby ramp, so
Page followed it downfloor. When he
spied the sign saying, Nutritechs Only,
he went through the door.
First person he spotted was a young reg
working on texturing a vat of soy. Two
counters down, he saw a light-haired adipost in a jumpsuit contoured to her bottom-heavy 475 kg. frame. Even if Page
hadnt been told of her recent graduation
to adipost status, hed have known. She
moved with the appealing awkardness of
the recently enhanced.
Maggie Dupois? The girl quickly
turned, blinking her wide eyes.
Guess you know thats me since I responded, she said, bumping her broad
hip into the counter edge. You a prep inspector? This place has been overdue for
one.
Page shook his head. The Russellsve
contracted me, he told her, after flashing his seal. Theyre worried about their
daughter.
Deni? She in trouble?
You seen her the last day or so? Briant asked. From the alarmed look on her
face, he suspected she knew the answer
to her own question already.
Havent seen her in weeks, she
moaned.

Things changed between us once I


reached the age of med consent. Useta be
we spent all our free time together, talkin
about what itd be like to get enhanced.
Once I actually did it, though, she shut
me out . . .
Any idea why?
She shook her head, but that wasnt her
answer.
Know when we first noticed each other? she asked. Deni and I were the
largest regs in our peer group. Took me a
lotta effort to get to the size I was, but
Deni came by hers naturally. Didnt matter how committed she was to her regimen - and there were days, I swear, when
she barely ate enough to make a prebrunch snack - Deni remained big-forreg. I sometimes think it made her kinda
confused about what she wanted to do
when she came of age.
Think that ambivalence made her
push away from you?
That - and these guys, Maggie said,
waddling over to a wall that opened once
she got within reach. She grabbed a
satchel, rummaged through it and pulled
out a chip. She held it like it was something lo-cal.
This is a newsie chip, Page said, once
he noted the logo.
Been floatin around the edustim centers for weeks, Maggie said. Dunno who
spread em, but when Deni got one, she
couldnt talk about anything else. Go
ahead. Take it. Couldnt watch the thing
the whole way through once. Not even
sure why I kept it.
She moved back to the counter, turning away from Page and returning to her
work. You see Deni, she said, heaving
a sigh that shuddered through her enhanced form. Let her know I hope shes
okay.
Briant left the food prep area, grabbed
a booth in the trayfood joint. As he inserted Maggies chip, the counter moved
in on his frame. The wall lit up with the
figure of a blond anorekt: a newer body
model with a frame so slender that its
limbs periodically lost resolution. The
voice came through clearly, though. A female voice.
These worshippers of food and flesh,
of citybound pleasure, the anorekt
shouted, obviously caught in mid-rant,
cannot know the joy of the light and the
spiritual! In their minds dance heavy visions of sweed and soystuff, of sensual
satisfaction! They will not know the
weightless world we all were born to enter! They cannot know that lightness leads

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to light!
With that, the figure was replaced by
the bland countenance of a newsie speaker.
Bit old for this, dont ya think? a voice
said behind Page. He turned to see a familiar figure. A middle-aged ahnold in
well-dressed casual cut to show off his
sculpted chest, leaning against an adjustable booth.
Here to check me out, Paul?
Heard ya were in the building, so I
hadda see whats up, the edustim director said. Never thought I see you scopin
out promos for Sister Dees MassFree
Temple!
That who this wireframe is? Page
asked, turning down the sound. Im
lookin for a girl, was hired by her parents.
Student of yers. He flipped out Denis
holo once more, asked Paul if he recognized her.
Only by her fathers rep, Paul answered, smiling. Dean should own a
piece of Mormaid; he loves their product. Pauls nup partner was a big name
adipost on the sumo circuit. But far as I
know, yer young reg has never been a discipline problem or a particularly stellar
student. He turned to a small databot
that had been trailing behind him, then
pulled up Deni Russells file. Smart girl,
he said, scanning the file, if rather aimless. He showed Page the screen.
According to the records, Deni had
been proceeding through her chosen
modules at an unexceptional pace. Only
characteristic of the series worth noting:
they were all over the screen.
Looks like our girls still searchin for
a line of study, Page noted. Bit old for
that, isnt she?
Get one or two of em in every class,
Paul said. Waitin to fall into sompn instead of picking an occ. He grinned.
Kinda student who becomes a free-lance
op cause theyre not fit for anything else.
So what you know about this so-called
anorekt church?
Only what I see on the walls, Paul answered. That newsie chip has been all
over the center the past month or so.
What I hear from other directors is its
been showing up in other zones, too.
Looks like a recruiting effort.
And Denis the kinda target they might
reach.
If she was, you can bet she wouldnt
let her folks know anything about it . . .
Probably right, Page muttered.
The MassFree Temple was located on
Lladro Square, right on the fringe of

anorekt zone. Like most anorekt


dwellings, it was an elongated edifice with
minimal filigree. At least the building was
wide enough to accommodate reg. Once
you got inside the zone, the architecture
grew much less hospitable. As he stepped
through the temple entrygate, a voice immediately chirped out: Welcome, ye of
excess flesh, to the MassFree Temple!
First thing that struck Page was the antiseptic scent all around him. Second was
the life-sized holo that blipped into his
path. The anorekt figure from the newsie.
Page held his seal up for scanning, then
told the holo, Here to talk with the head
honcho. In response the image blanked
out, leaving him to wait and take in the
spartan surroundings. It was soundproof
quiet. Finally, a figure - the real-life counterpart of the holo - glided into view.
Im Sister Dee Leath, the anorekt said
by way of introduction. Her face was
gaunt, hair cut to mold length. The only
softness about her was in her voice, which
was much more welcoming than her expression. The Temple of Cognitive Dissonance, Page thought, as she invited him
onto the platform. It took them down the
corridor, into the building proper. They
passed several open rooms with templegoers of all orientations, all kneeling and
waved into consoles. Lots of cyber hardware in this so-called temple.
Ive been contracted to discover the
whereabouts of this girl, Page said, holding Denis holo on his palm. For a second, he could see a moue of distaste cross
the Sisters face as she took in the girls
pudgy frame. She quickly put her public
face back.
Many curious young adults show up
at our temple, she said, once the holo
finished, eager to cast off the weight of
the world.
Im sure, Page answered. Question
is have you seen this un? He restarted
the holo, and Sister Dee gave it the twice
over.
Dont have a citybot with you, she finally said. What authority do you have
to even ask?
Parental contract, Page said, holding
up his seal for scanning. The anorekt
priestess waved it away.
Girls not familiar to me, she said as
the platform came to a halt. Page followed
her into an austere office, hymiminal music sweetly wafting in the background.
You want I can check if she signed in with
us, though.
Shes too young to contract with anybody yet, Page told the priestess. There

50 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

was no reg compatible furniture in the


Sisters office, so he leaned against her
desk.
But I bet Mommy or Daddys already
pushin her to sign up for adipost enhancement the day she hits legal age, she
answered, calling in a databot. It scanned
Pages holo then flashed processing.
Never said my clients were adipost,
Page said.
Obvious, innit? she said. We get a
lotta templegoers, comin in to overcome
the cursed genetic legacy their enhanced
parents have bestowed upon em.
Invalid path, the databot flashed.
No record of the girl here, Sister Dee
said. Sorry I cant help you. Though,
again, her expression belied her words.
I bet, Page said. How long you had
this little operation goin, anyway?
The MassFree Temple has a history almost as long as the zone itself, Sister Dee
told him. Many of our biomed forebearers possessed the spiritual knowledge that
is the basis of our faith: the only way to
ascend is to cast off the fleshs burden.
But this proselytizin in other zones is
pretty new.
Admittedly. But when you know the
way, you cant keep it in just one zone forever.
Wouldnt bother me if ya did, Page
muttered.
She led him back to the platform, and
as he stepped on it, the op noticed a wire
at the end of the corridor. Something was
off, Page thought, as he stepped into
metro daylight. Someone was using
newsie chips like recruitment brochures
among the edustim set, and yet Sister Dee
was trying to tell him they didnt invite
underage members. And what was with
all the cyberware?
Best place he knew for an answer to
that last was at Higgins Eatery. Jumping
on the metrowire, he headed for city center and the busy lunch counter. Stopping
just a moment to ask the acromeg countermans permission, Page slipped around
the counter and into the eaterys back
room.
There he found a midsized 500 kg. adipost, dressed casually, sitting all jacked
and tubular in his office. One of the few
adipost hackers in city, Higgins was Pages
prime source for cyber data. He took a few
moments to register the ops presence,
then he lifted his headpiece off, took his
Iiquical tube out of his mouth and gestured him in closer.
Been a while since youve been in,
the eatery owner said. Hear youre back

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Page 51

in the zone.
You hear right, Page answered.
What brings you out?
Need a fresh block, Page said. And
some data.
Gonna hit some place incognito, eh?
Higgins said, grabbing a new tube of
liquical. Higgins was known for his
gourmet tastes when it came to liquid nutrition. Perhaps the closest he could get
to the bodyfree orientation of most hackers was to disdain solids.
What you know about the MassFree
Temple?
A difficult hack, the hacker slowly answered. Got some pretty sophisticated
shields on some pretty archaic programs.
Hasnt stopped you, I bet.
You kiddin? Word on the web is that
the temple has been pushin into some
wiggy areas. How could I resist?
So tell me whatcha know, Page said,
settling onto a cushion. As expected, Higgins immediately launched into lecture
mode.
Turn o the century a lotta work was
being done on bioconectedness: computer systems that were driven by living
human intelligence. Some q-b experiments were done with terminal patients
wanting to live in one form or another
past their mortal lifespans. Hit the newsies
sometime in the twenties, and all of a sudden nobody was doin bioconnect research, anymore. At least not openly.
Higgins smiled sardonically, sending a
volley of creases through his chins. The
whole time he was talking, his fingers flew
over a pair of boards.
Sounds like the ultimate anorekt fantasy, he continued, to live totally outside yer body. Problem is that these simulated intelligences were only
reconstructions of their subjects. Not actual subject consciousness.
I can guess where this is goin, Page
thought out loud. How far do you think
that Sister Dee and her band of wireframes have gotten updatin this work?
The weirder the area, the more elaborate the shields, Higgins said, pulling a
newly formatted chip from his PC. He
tossed it to the op, and it crossed flight
paths with Pages scan from Deni Russells headpiece. By the time Page pocketed Higgins sensor block, the hacker had

Ive been contracted to discover the


whereabouts of
this girl, Page
said, holding Denis
holo on his palm.
For a second, he
could see a moue
of distaste cross
the Sisters face as
she took in the
girls pudgy frame.

a reconstruction of the girls last image


onwall. A front view of the MassFree Temple.
It was an image from the newsie. Flattened by the process of reconstruction, it
looked more like an anorekt building than
the real-life structure did. You want, I can
give you a traffic read of this place, he
said.
I want, Page decided. Lemme know
when the place is at its deadest. Higgins
nodded, taking a long draw from his tube.
They spent the next two hours going over
all Higgins had on the temple system and
setting up back-up, stopping once for
Page to get a couple foodpacks from upfront. Higgins work would cost, but Page
felt better once they worked out the details.
He went back home to get some sacktime, but, of course, Gin swiped some of
it. No problem: he was good at short-burst
remming. At 0230, the wall buzzed him
awake, and he was ready. He kissed his
sleeping wifes shoulder then pulled on a
dark bodysuit.
The night was cool and clear, the sidewalks deserted. What was it that got a girl
like Deni Russell even considering a
bodystyle antithetical to the one shed
been prepping for all her life? Same things
that had gotten between Page and Ginny

after shed first gotten enhanced, that had


kept him out of adipost zone over two
years. Uncertainty. Fear of commitment.
Just plain fear. For an instant, the image
of Maggie Dupois came back to him, turning away but unable to hide the look of
worry and betrayal on her round face. Had
Ginny looked like that once?
Off in the distance, the metrowire
hummed. As if in concert, Pages stomach growled hungrily. Perhaps he
shouldve grabbed something from food
prep. Ever since hed moved back with
Ginny, his appetite had been growing. All
those tempting scents at the food bar.
He put these thoughts aside once he
got to the temple. Slipping a scan lens
over his left eye, he applied Higgins block
to his seal. It was designed to keep the
temple security system from noticing him
on its first sweep, but no matter how
many times he used Higgins wares, he always had a moment of doubt. Surveillance
systems adjusted pretty damn fast to
blocks, picked up their rhythms, so you
only got one good pass from a chip. One
of these days, Higgins was gonna dupe
himself, and Page would be stuck in some
system already geared to pick him up.
Not tonight, though. He made it
through the entrygate without getting
hailed and headed for the corridor. Didnt want to risk triggering anything by
stepping on a platform, so he eased himself along the wall to the wire hed noted
on his first visit. This one he had to risk,
so he took a deep breath and found himself upfloor in a second empty corridor.
First door to his right, he used his lens on
the room. Anorekt bodies showed up as
broken lines, and the first three rooms
were nothing but broken lines. Halfway
down the corridor, though, he found a
room with more varied patterns. Lots of
different body types.
Thanks to Higgins block, he still wasnt registering, so the closed door wouldnt let him in. No big deal: this brand of
autodoor was susceptible to simple magnetic tampering. He slid the door open,
squeezed through and took a look around.
The room was dimly lit by a series of
old-fashioned PC consoles. Rows of
screens and futons, the latter folded down
so their occupants could sleep, each bed
occupied. Page scanned the room for

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Denis plump body shape. Lots of pre-age


forms, but no Deni Russell. Three rooms
on, though, he locked in on the girls body.
Nothing to do but quietly walk to Denis
futon, act as if he was supposed to be
there. Just another initiate to the anorekt
life. Passing row upon row of futons, populated by males and females of varying
body type, Page took a look at what they
were waved into. On their screens was a
two-hour rem program, probably something substiminal. Only way to break
through it was to pull the plug.
Page didnt know what the kids response would be when he jarred her
awake, but he knew he had to be quick.
Soon as the girl was disconnected, the system would know it. The best approach:
act official and push her along until they
got out of the temple. Then see what she
had to say.
Quickest way to break the connection
was to roll Deni off her futon and pull her
out of wave range. Once she started to
rouse, Page yanked her to her feet. This
way, Page barked. Half asleep, the girl
obeyed.
They made it to the hall okay, but that
was as far as Page expected. Soon as he
stepped through the door, Page saw a
platform zipping their way. Wouldnt be
a problem if he didnt have zombie girl
with him. Instead, he pulled Deni back
into the room and waited for Higgins to
justify his existence. The adipost hacker
shouldve started infecting the temple system soon as the alarms had gone off.
He held Deni against the wall, as all the
consoles in the room suddenly blinked
brightly. A huge female figure appeared
onscreen: newsie footage of adipost actress Jami Bree as she discussed her
newest stim release, A.Gram on the Hips.
Its a musical set in a chomp n bounce,
the 900-plus kg. stimstress was saying. I
get four big binge scenes and put on plenty of cageys trough the course of the stim.
Most of it goes to my hips, of course. At
which point, the newsie focused on the
most celebrated part of Brees body - and
everyone in the room was jarred awake.
Which was when two anorekt guards
entered the room. They were swarmed by
the crowd, and as they were blocked from
view, Page pulled Deni out of the room.
Throughout the temple, you could hear
the sound of agitated templegoers, jolted
out of passive programming by the sight
and sound of the pear-shaped adipost actress.
Hustling the girl down the corridor and
downfloor, Page was maybe five meters

from the entryway when he felt a stringy


arm wrap around his chest. A second followed. An anorekt guard had a hold on
him, arms elongating to entwine themselves around Page. If he didnt act fast,
hed be trapped once the arms tightened.
They were still malleable, though.
Dropping to his knees, Page quickly
slipped out of the guards grasp. The
anorekt leaned forward, so the op rolled
against his legs, forcing him to topple to
the floor.
Better get going, Page thought as he
stunned the fallen guard. Down the corridor, a new barrage of guards was zooming toward them. He grabbed Deni and
pulled her to the temple exit.
Once outside, the chaos of the MassFree Temple was blotted by sound shields.
Though he really didnt expect the wireframes to follow them out in public, there
was no point in sticking around anorekt
zone. Dragging Deni Russell to neutral
metro center, he sat the girl on a bench
and looked her over. The girl started blinking once Page asked her if she knew where
they were. She stared down the street, registering the fact that they were out in the
world for the first time, then said to Page,
Youre fleshy!
Looked like Deni mightve been a little
too long in the temple.
Right, Page said, and he took the girl
to the nearest metro biotech clinic. Soon
as the sun rose, he buzzed Russell and his
wife. They buzzed over to the clinic, then
spent the next hour pacing nervously
about the waiting area, adipost bodies
mimicking their nervousness.
Two hours later, a biotechnician came
out to tell them theyd overridden all of
the substimulated engrams.
That newsie chip you gave me showed
the neural codes they were using, the
biotech told Page. Had its own message
designed to reel in uncommitted kids like
Deni. Used the same codes on all their
temple programming.
He followed the biotech into Denis cubicle. The girl was sitting up in bed, checking off the items on her breakfast menu,
sipping on a squeezee at the same time.
One look at the list made it clear that she
had her appetite back.
You the guy who pulled me out of the
temple? she asked. Page nodded. My
folks send you?
What should I tell you, kid? Page said.
Where you standin with yer parents?
Theyre okay, the kid said. A typical
response for her age. Sure could do with
some of their sweed rolls, though.

52 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

Sounded like a cue to bring in Mom and


Pop, so he did. Once they got the preliminaries out of the way, the girl told her story. Shed gone to the MassFree Temple
out of curiosity piqued by all those chips
around Edustim Center. She wasnt quite
sure what had pulled her to the temple,
but it seemed to get stronger every time
she played the chip. Once inside, what
had started out as an info gathering visit
turned into something more extensive the anorekts refused to let her leave.
It was friendly enough at first, the girl
explained. Cmere, weve got one more
thing to show ya. But when she asked to
see the nearest exit, things got much less
congenial. They knew who I was, she
said. And Sister Dee, she thought it would
be major to recruit the daughter of one of
the zones foremost marketers of gluttony.
You could practically feel the heat as
Russell started to redden. But before he
could say anything, Ursula tapped him
on the shoulder. He looked her in the eyes
then shrugged. Following city regs, the
clinic had already reported the MassFree
Temples unregulated use of substiminals
on underage templegoers.
I think shell do alright, Page said,
pulling the parents back into the hall. Just
give her some room and dont push.
Wiring onfloor, a tremulous smile on her
full lips, was Maggie Dupois, a large bag
of near-chocolates in her right hand. Ursula waved her over then turned to her
husband.
You hear the man? she sternly said.
The adipost businessman nodded, and
she beamed at him approvingly, patting
him on his prominent paunch affectionately. Then she waddled up to greet Maggie.
Smart woman, Page thought. She knew
that Russells bullish ways probably contributed to Denis flirting with other body
types, but she also knew that she didnt
have to be too meatfisted with her nup
partner. At least not in front of the contracted help.
He said as much to Ginny back at the
office. They were working on an extended brunch later that a.m., Gin dressed in
a silkette camisole and tap pants that
gapped provocatively. The outfit looked
too fresh to have been worn very long.
Page guessed that shed changed into it
soon as she heard he was on his way
home.
Not that he didnt appreciate the gesture. She was even more gorgeous than
usual.

Dim88

5/10/02

6:09 PM

Page 53

They find anything at the temple? she


asked, cutting a quarter wedge of quiche
and handing it to her husband before taking the rest.
You know they didnt, Page smiled.
The wrecks pulled up stakes soon as we
escaped from the place. Only thing the citybots found were a buncha confused kids
and the shell of some cyberware. Couldnt
chance taking any of the pre-ages with em,
I guess.
So Sister Dee is somewhere deep in
anorekt zone with the rest of her wireframes, and goodbye to her. Fifteen minutes with that un was more time than I
ever wanna spend.
Which I guess means that their chip
didnt speak to you, Gin teased around
large mouthfuls of quiche. Good to hear
that.
It is, innit? Page agreed, digging into
his slice. Before he could put fork to mouth,
though, the wall buzzed on, and they both
were gawking at the talking head of Sister
Dee Leath.
Thought I had that thing on D.N.D.,
Page said. What can I do for you, Sister?
See you paid a visit to our little house
of worship last night, the anorekt priestess opened, temporarily replacing her image with a replay of Page worming out of
that guards clutches and aiming his stun
at the anorekt. She blinked back, a pinched
smile on her nearly invisible lips.
Why not? Page answered, waving his
fork deliberately. Im of age.
Wish youd told me you were comin
back, she said. Theres a lot more we
couldve shown ya!
I bet, Page agreed. But I hear the
place is kinda empty now.
A temporary inconvenience, Sister
Dee told them, before blinking off. Ill see
you later.
Ginny smiled and finished off her
quiche.
Hadnt seen you in action in some
time, she finally said. You looked pretty
good there.
They werent ready for me, Page responded. Next time they will be. He
shrugged and took another fork of quiche.
Later, hed have to get back to Ray Fabs
stimlegger. But for now he was gonna enjoy some time with his wife. They had a lot
to talk about and plenty of prepping to do.
Less than a week til his own enhancement, Paige thought, taking another bite
of quiche.
Copyright 2001 OakHaus Designs

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Dimensions

Spring 2002

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Dim88

5/10/02

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Page 54

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Dim88

5/10/02

6:12 PM

Page 55

M A R K ET S Q U A R E
Publications
WILSON BARBERS NEWSLETTER -- A
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fiction (two stories per issue). Now up to issue
#6! Issues #1-5 are still available at $6.00 an issue, $20.00 for four. Send to: Oakhaus, 910 W.
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site: pencomputing.com/dim.

Clubs/Dances/Events
THE BIG DIFFERENCE -- A unique meeting place in the Los Angeles area for big, beautiful people and admirers in a comfortable, nonjudgmental atmosphere. Parties, dances, more.
Call 310-398-5113 or 949-707-0666 for schedule of events. www.BigDiff.com

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Spring 2002

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Dim88

5/10/02

6:12 PM

Page 56

CHEESECAKE: 52
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Dim88

5/10/02

6:13 PM

Page 57

Finding My Senses
by SVS

Dimensions
on the World Wide Web

You walk in the door


I'm nervous
Still
After all these months.
I'm smiling
Tingling
Excited
Knowing that the sight of my lush body
Excites you
And always has.
And for me
The sight of you
Your presence
Your intensity
Your heat
Awakens all my senses.
We kiss.
We sit
And I'm held captive by your eyes.

I want to tease you


But once I taste you
And take in your scent
I have no control
I have to slide you into my mouth
And feel you throbbing against my tongue I feel you respond,
growing even harder
I hear you respond, as you lose yourself NoActually,
I lose myself
In your erotic moans

As always
I can't wait to touch you.
My hands are on your thighs
I feel your body warm beneath them.
Forgetting to breathe, I listen
To hear you breathe
NoActually,
To hear your breathing change.

We go upstairs
I watch you undress
Then lie on the bed
You look so incredible
So sexy.
I know I will call on this memory
Of you
Of your body
Of your obvious desire
Later when I am alone.

I run my hands slowly up your legs


They end up where you want them most.
I feel your arousal
You're so hard
Straining against the fabric of your pants. I hear you moan
NoActually,
I feel you moan.
It runs through my body
Making me weak
Making me wet.
I move in closer
To taste your kisses.
I love feeling my soft breasts press against you And feel your
erection pushing into my fat belly. I relax and the weight of
my breasts ends up in your lap. I want to free you, and I do
I want to free me
And let them envelop you
NoActually,
What I really want
Is to surround all of you
With all of me.
But right now
I see your excitement
Glistening
And I have to have it.
Have to feel it slick and warm against my tongue I have to
taste it
NoTaste you.
I love that first moment
When my tongue touches you.

I need to connect with you again


I move back up to kiss you
To taste your tongue this time.
I want to be naked with you
And feel all of you
NoAll of us.

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SUBSCRIPTION
SUBSCRIPTION RENEWAL: The number at the
top right of your mailing label shows the last issue you will receive under your current subscription. In the US, you will receive a renewal
form in the mail. Renew early to avoid missing
any issues.

WRITERS
Submit all articles (fiction, experiences, proposals, opinions, reports, etc.) to:
Dimensions
P.O. Box 640
Folsom, CA 95763-0640
or email: chb@pencomputing.com

LETTERS, ARTWORK
I begin to undress.
I know you're watching me.
I know you love that in all my fat glory I feel sexy.
But even so
I'm feeling a little shy.
You've seen my bulges
My curves, my rolls before.
And I know you lust for me
And my jiggly flesh.
I'm not used to being watched
As I struggle with my bra
And my snug pants.
I'm not graceful as I tug to free my legs My breasts swinging
My belly in the way as I bend
But still you watch me.
Enjoying.
I join you on the bed
I want to hear you tell me your hottest desires Listen to your
passion
Watch your face
Look into your eyes
Touch you
Feel your warm skin
Feel you throb
Feel you feeling me
Feel my soft flesh roll and shake
And see your expression
As you watch my soft flesh roll and shake I want to taste you
and smell you and surround you And take you inside of me
And forget myself for awhile as we share ourselves. And just
when I think I've lost my senses I realize
No I've finally found them.

Please submit letters to the editor, artwork,


changes of address, and subscriptionrelated questions to:
Dimensions P.O. Box 640
Folsom, CA 95763-0640
Do not send registered or express mail to
our box number. Such mail will be returned to the sender.

MODELS
MODELS COVER CENTERFOLDS
Submit portfolio with several high quality sample photos (Prints/slides/negs/photo CD) and a
brief description of yourself. Include phone number where we can reach you. Of course, we cannot guarantee acceptance or timing.

FLYERS/SALES
Do you want to sell Dimensions at your dance,
NAAFA chapter event, trunk sale, newsstand,
or elsewhere? Need flyers? Or do you know a
distributor or a store who wants to carry Dimensions? Inquiries and leads welcome!

ADVERTISEMENT
Dimensions reaches many thousands of interested readers eager to buy your product or service. Take advantage of our LOW classified and
display ad rates to crank up your sales. Call (916)
984-9947 or get our ad rate card.

ADDRESS CHANGE
When you change your address, notify Dimensions directly. The postal service will not
forward Dimensions to you even if you give
them your new address. Such copies are discarded and we cannot replace them. Since it
can take months until we are notified, please
let us know before or when you move.

Dimensions

Spring 2002

57

Dim88

5/10/02

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Page 58

THESE VIDEOS
ARE AVAILABLE FROM

BOUNTIFUL
PRODUCTIONS
18-53 College Point Blvd., Ste. 14D88
Flushing, NY 11356
Bountifulprod@aol.com ~ 718 445-0687

SWEET
CHEEKS

A FREE copy of BPs LATEST CATALOG ($10 value) is included in the $79.95
PRICE of each video, plus shipping: $5 U.S., $8 Canada, $12 elsewhere. PAL
format $25 additional per video. We accept checks, money orders, credit
cards, PayPal, and cash, in U.S. funds, by mail, phone, and e-mail. Orders are
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FEMSHA

CHOCOLATE DESIRE
5 10 525 POUNDS 62-55-78
Billed as Tennessee Wild Gal on the Internet, CHOCOLATE DESIRE is aptly named either way. BPs
camera follows this amazing example of womanhood throughout her day, in and out of many sexy outfits, shaking her triple threat butt, boobs, and belly for you. She dances, exercises, romps in the hot tub,
eats, and so much more! NUDITY and LOTS of ACTION!

FEMSHA
5 8 420 POUNDS 56-54-77
Appearing as Faith in the 10/97 PLUMPERS AND BIG WOMEN, FEMSHA really knows how to showcase
that magnificent booty of hers. When she shakes her head of flaming red curls, you know shes ready to
strut her stuff! Youll see her in many slit-up-the-side tight dresses and sexy lingerie, as she shakes her
butt, dances, and thoroughly enjoys a big meal. You also get to choose two different endingsthe rrated, or the xxx-rated one in which she spends an extra 9 minutes at the end, personally thanking the
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SWEET CHEEKS
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The double-bellied SWEET CHEEKS is a cellulite-lovers dream! This cutie pie will knock your socks off
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CHOCOLATE DESIRE

SWEETIE PIE
5 5 450 POUNDS 68-60-88
When we saw SWEETIE PIE on the DIMENSIONS
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SWEETIE
PIE

Dim88

5/10/02

6:19 PM

Page 59

B ACK I SSUES
B

ack issues of Dimensions are a


special thrill and provide you with
hours of fascinating reading. Each
copy is full of stories, letters, experiences of men who prefer the large
figure and women who enjoy being admired in their abundant glory. There are
columns explaining both the male and
the female point of view, lots of fiction
and romance, plus columns on health
and media issues. A brief history: In No.
31 we started running personal ads; No.
35 saw the first "Wide Angle" pictorial;
No. 42 had the first 4-color cover and
centerfold. In No. 64 we expanded to 64
pages and more color photos. In No. 70
we added a fashion section and eight
additional color pages. Treat yourself!

Limited supply!
Order now.

No. 81 December 1998

No. 66 August 1995

Reinventing NAAFA
Interview with a female FA
I am a BBW escort
Pictorials: Brie and Hollywood BBW
A lecture on FAs
Power of the pinup girl
Review: Such a Pretty Face

Where does size acceptance stand?


Body piercing
Snow bunny fashions
Pictorials: Jensen and Victorian Lace
Million Pound March
Outlook: Set fat people free
Female FA matters

Threat of genetic manipulation


No one can dictate your weight!
Are you too fat for sex?
Those incurable closet FAs
Pictorial: Lovely Tina
Book reviews: Flesh, Afterlife Diet
FA movement? Comments

No. 86 January 2001

No. 87 September 2001

No. 80 August 1998

No. 65 June 1995

Fat and aging


Body building and the fat person
Pictorial: The Miss BBB Contest
Pictorials: Heather over 400
BBW romance success story
Power of the pinup girl
Mind-Body healing

NIH: 55% of Americans are fat


Phat Fashions: Big on Batik
Jami-Marie grows up
A trio of well rounded friends
Fiction: Linda out of the closet
Ginger: Why I prefer fat men
Dr. Moe on heart-related matters

Medicalization of Fatness
Must FAs also be activists?
The pain of young fat people
Gain Fiction by Wilson Barbers (2)
Pictorial: Deborah Cinkus (380)
The career of actor Laird Cregar
Opinion on separate FA movement?

No. 85 May 2000

No. 77 November 1997

No. 64 April 1995

Fighting smart
Portrait: Queen Kong
What are female fat admirers?
Pictorials: Bobbie and Kelly
Glamour fashions
Power of the pinup girl
Review: Belly Magazine

Fat kids - parental issues


Fat prejudice
Hot Holiday Fashions
Dari Walkers art
Pictorial: Dove and Cari
Dr. Moe on migraine headaches
Greetings from Cyberspace

A look at genetics and fat


Comments on Shape Up America!
Sexual power dynamics
Fiction: Neighborly Pursuits (3)
Pictorial: Rachael Sabo (6-250)
Fat adult mags and size acceptance
Lubidet personal hygiene system

No. 84 January 2000

No. 75 July 1997

No. 62 November 1994

Start of a new millennium


Glories of the flesh
Super size realities
Pictorials: Karen, The Fatimas
Glamour fashions
Wilson Barbers fat fiction
Keys to safe online romance

Where to find reliable size


acceptance information
Hillel Schwartz on heavy
Fashion: The SCREAM girl
Pictorial: Lisa and Heather
Dr. Moe on STDs
The latest on diet drugs

Talking with Dr. Moe Lerner.


A separate FA movement?
Queen of Hearts by Delacroix (3)
Pictorial: Feedee Joy
Indictment of Lipophobia
A look at circus fat ladies

No. 83 Summer 1999

No. 74 April 1997

No. 61 August 1994

A few things that need to be said


Fat humanity and the magic pill
Seat belt extenders
Pictorials: Cleacia and Tina
Bridal fashions
1999 NAAFA Convention
Super SIze Realities

Who is fat enough?


Pictorial: Zsalynn, and Cindy
Dr. Moe on lymphatic problems
How do you explain Dimensions?
Josh Max says what he likes
Control issues

No. 82 April 1999

When government turns on people


Fashions: Barbs Large & Lovely
Hillel Schwartz: Obesi-TV
Fiction: Manhole (1)
Pictorial: Catherine and Cathy,
Dr. Moe on invasive testing
Sally Smith: The Quick Fix

Where does size acceptance stand?


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Pictorials: Electra and Anna
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Where is Dimensions going?
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Dr. Moe on ER
Fashions: Making it Big
Hillel Schwartz: Breathing Easy
Fiction: Salome (1)
Pictorial: Patty and Victoria
Olympic FA musician Josh Max
Life doesnt stop at 351 pounds

No. 71 September 1996

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The Nutty Professor


Fashions: John Sun Silks
Hillel Schwartz: Does Fat Happen?
Fiction: Anna Nicole Smith (3)
Pictorial: Grace and 480 lbs. Karen
Olympic FA musician Josh Max
Inside: On 40-inch thighs

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The Chicago Police Outrage


Fashions: By Ro! Designs
Hillel Schwartz: Fat and Noise
Fiction: The Betrothal (2)
Pictorial: Gina and Suzan
Social: Big Sensations, MA
About compulsive/binge eating

No. 67 November 1995


Dr. Moe: The spectre of menopause
Davis on The Seven Deadly Sins
Male nude centerfolds?
Fiction: Key Lime Dreams I (2)
Pictorial: Carol Mackintosh
Pictorial update on buMpers
How to do successful personal ads
The Feeder wars

Cyberdating
Why Americans are getting fatter
Portrait: Vendredis Jan Herrick
Goddess by Gordon Fisher (2)
Pictorials: Raynae, and Cyndy Lybrands
self esteem story
Those darn first dates
Review: One Size Does Not Fit All

No. 60 June 1994


Dieting discredited, whats next?
Are FAs getting a bad rap?
Portrait: C. H. Blickenstorfer
Between the Lines-Becky Fox (3)
Pictorials: Pam & Dee, and Betsy Smiths
personal growth story
Dr. Moe on sleeping disorders

No. 59 April 1994


Thin-bashing/reverse discrimination
First encounter with an FA
Portrait: Paul Delacroix
Neighbors - M.A. Maloney (3)
Midden Heap - Hillel Schwartz
Pictorials: Heather and Raynea
Dr. Moe on varicose veins

No. 58 February 1994


Body building: fat-by-choice
Ode to thigh-reducing cream
Size-related litigation and
legislation - by Sally E. Smith
Fat Chances - Hillel Schwartz
Pictorials: Rhonda Oliver and growing
Betsy Smith
Print media and body image

No. 57 November 1993


The art of Fernando Botero
Call for a new agenda in obesity research
- by Sally E. Smith
Pen Pals - hot, explicit fiction by Michelle
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On complimenting fat women
Pictorial: Susan and Mary
Dr. Moe Lerner on diabetes

No. 56 September 1993


About being a young FA
Profile: Neil Osbourn
Weight gain fantasies
The Photograph - V. L. (2)
Fat Chances - Hillel Schwartz
Pictorial: 400+ lbs. Deidra
Fiction rating key: 1 - Romance; 2 Weight gain; 3 - Fat fiction; 4 - Satire;
5 - Female FA

Dimensions

Spring 2002

59

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60 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

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Page 61

Inside

(continued from page 14)


work?
It is a typically hot, humid August day,
but Frannie is freezing and wont let me
turn it on. Seconds later a warmed blanket arrives, followed by a staff of friendly,
helpful medical professionals armed with
a gurney, and an idea. They kneel the gurney low enough for Frannie to comfortably get on, and off they go. Getting out of
my car was the last time Frannies feet hit
the ground for about a week.
Pulmonary embolism, most likely
caused by hormones in your birth control
pills, was the diagnosis. We didnt find
out until later that Pulmonary Embolism
is the third most common cause of death
in the US, with at least 650,000 cases occurring annually.
Those of us who love Frannie pull together to provide around-the-clock assistance. Melissa, Frannie and I work out the
size-related difficulties. Frannie requests
a catheter so bedpans wont be an issue,
and Melissa uses a special pan to wash
Frannies hair in bed. We thought wed be
better at bathing than the nursing staff,
but we were mistaken. All size-related issues are handled with respect and dignity. Frannies room is the place the staff

Fighting Size Discrimination since 1969

Dimensions

wants to hang out. Instead of dreading


dealing with a fat woman, they fuss over
her. A special fat girl bed is ordered, so
she can convalesce comfortably and so
there will be more wiggle room to aid in
hygiene.
The lifestyle magazine for
Frannie is her most charming and enmen who prefer large, radiant
dearing self and her behavior is reflected
women. And the women who
in the staffs exuberance towards her. Franwant to learn about them.
nies personality even infected Dr. McCarthy, because when she left the hospiDIMENSIONS is published for those with
tal 10 days later, it was with three
a preference for the large figure and their
prescriptions. One for an antibiotic, one
partners. It explores relationships, experifor a blood thinner, and the third one had
ences and sexuality from that unique
three words on it: Fat girl wheelchair.
perspective and examines issues of
Frannie went back to work recently, and
lifestyles, activism, health, and media
only used the wheelchair for a few doctor
perceptions. DIMENSIONS also provides
appointments with long walks. She let Bear
entertainment including interviews, movie
know when shed be at the clinic, and he
and literature reviews, fiction, poems and
would arrange his schedule so he could
cartoons with size related themes. DIhelp her. Several weeks later, Frannie says
MENSIONS wants to legitimize the prefershes at about 95%. Recently she took her
ence for the large figure. And we have
brother to the same clinic, and she parked
friendship ads. Subscribe today! And
in the farthest space from the front door,
check www.dimensionsmagazine.com
just to reassure herself that she could walk
$30 for 4 issues
the distance. She could.
(Canada US$45; overseas US$70)
And the wide wheelchair the hospital
Mail check to: DIMENSIONS,
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tient surgery. They used it to take him to ADDRESS _____________________________________________________
the car. Live Large.
CITY/ST/ZIP____________________________________________________
Elizabeth@ifisher.com

The purpose and mission of NAAFA is to:


Work towards providing equal opportunity for people of size.
Disseminate information about all aspects of being large.
Advocate and sponsor responsible research about being a large
person in our society.
To promote acceptance of big people within society.
Serve as a safe, productive forum where issues affecting people
of size can be discussed.
Fight against injustices, discrimination, negative portrayal.

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Well-Being

(continued from page 16)


for being resilient enough to bounce back.
Thank you for giving me compassion.
Thank you for bearing and nurturing the
seeds of my future profession. Thank you
for being fat, because if you werent, I
wouldnt have the rich life I do today.
Gratitude for what we do have is part of
the wisdom we can get from disaster, as
Erdman found. Have you noticed how
many people who lose everything but their
lives in a fire, comment that they are grateful that they are still alive? They (and we)
may have much hardship to cope with in
the aftermath of disaster, but we tend to
get stronger as a result of having coped.
As the saying goes, that which doesnt kill
us makes us stronger.
Barbara Altman Bruno, Ph.D., is a clinical social worker, size
acceptance activist and educator, and author of Worth Your
Weight (Rutledge Books, 1996).

Address _________________________________________________________
City _________________________________ State _____ Zip______________
Phone (______) __________________________________________________
E-mail __________________________________________________________
MAIL TO: NAAFA, Inc., P.O. Box 188620, Sacramento, CA 95818, or fax 916-558-6881

Dimensions

Spring 2002

61

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Page 62

A Lot of Love

BOOK REVIEW

By Bill Sherman

Lot of Love (Slave Labor Graphics) is a


short, 111-page graphic novel about a
self-destructive fat admirer and the lives
he tries to take with him along the way.
It is not the Feel-Good Comic Book of 2002.
Written by Geoff Watson and rendered by John
Gebbia, Love tells the tale of Jack Peoples, an obsessed F.A. and would-be feeder who lives with a
weight loss trainer named Hanna. Jack is San
Joses District Attorney (though the only thing we
see him do in his office is eat candy and pull plussized mens mags out of his desk to masturbate).
Both he and Hanna are former fat kids who at the
start of the story are regularly exercising at a health
club to stave off future fatness. Hannato make
the conflict even more pronounced - works as a
trainer for a weight loss facility called Fat Busters;
she sneers at her clients and cant conceive that
there are potential partners out there whod find
them attractive.
F.A. readers, familiar with the strictures of weight
gain fiction, can quickly predict where that part of
the story is heading. But Watson and Gebbia are
only tangentially interested in weight gain: their
main focus is on the aberrant psychology of their
characters. Much of that psychology is familiar
and suspect (Jack, it turns out, has a fat alcoholic
mother whose suffocating ways seeded his attraction to plus-sized women), but its consistent
with the books broader themes.
D.A. Peoples uses his position to bring three
super-sized paralegals into his orbit: stealing the
trio (flirtatious bottom-heavy Marie Sanchez, surly
single mom Sharon Anderson and shy student
Claire Murphy) and a high-profile case from an Assistant D.A. Like Hanna (who at one point taunts
a weight loss client by provokingly eating in front
of her), Jack is a prime case of the once-powerless child who abuses his authority once hes attained it. The attractive D.A. surreptitiously dates
all three paralegals behind Hannas backand works
to keep all three ignorant about his juggling act.
It all blows up in our anti-heros face, of course
and leads to the ruination of his career, abetted
along the way by jealous A.D.A. Bob Billings.
Billings is the books other male figure, and his
back-story is meant to mirror Jacks. Where Peoples (were regularly reminded) was raised by a
mother who not-so-subtly encouraged his lack of
control, Billings was repeatedly abused by foster
parents who attempted to beat the Bible into him.
These two modes of child rearingone overly permissive, the other repressiveare clearly meant as
two sides of the same coin: neither has resulted
in a mature adulthood.

Once the truth about Jacks manipulative behaviors emerges, Watson and Gebbias book becomes progressively darker: it culminates in Jack
losing his job (after Maria, the most provocative
of the three paralegals, cries sexual harassment)
and Hanna winding up on the receiving end of her
weight loss clients rage. (All three paralegals, we
discover, were once part of her class.) The two retreat into a mutually destructive marriage, isolating themselves from the rest of the world in a feeder/feedee relationship (how the two are able to
afford this is never made clear): the once-arrogant
Hanna grows addicted to Jacks nurturing feedings and ultimately becomes too fat to get out of
bed. It does not end well.

As for our three paralegals, just one of em


makes it to the other side of this book with her size
and self-esteem intact: Maria loses weight via
surgery and liposuction, abandoning her legal career for modeling; Sharon is shown, stuck in the
basement with a low-paying job and struggling to
raise her son (perhaps the next generations Jack?);
only shy Claire, the one most emotionally wounded by Jacks gameplaying, really comes out ahead
by books end. Having graduated and worked her
way into the D.A. position, she has grown openly
comfortable with her size (when her secretary asks
her if she wants coffee with cream, she answers
matter-of-factly, Of course. And sugar, too!)
We dont learn if Claire has hooked up with a
more scrupulous lover, however. In this way the
book implicitly endorses the idea expressed by

62 Dimensions www.dimensionsmagazine.com

Hanna early in the book: Why would anyone normal give up their acceptance in society to be with
one of these enormous people? Despiteor perhaps because ofthe fact that Claire is the only
genuinely open and giving character in the book
she does not appear destined to find a caring F.A.
partner. As far as this book is concerned, such options doesnt exist for a woman her size, anyway.
Its clear Watson and Gebbia view fat attraction
as a fetish, not a preference, so our protagonists
behavior is designed to support that thesis. When
he dances with the provocative paralegal Marie,
the images that flash through his mind are of
bondage and domination; when confronted by
Claire about his hound dog ways, Jacks only recourse is to tantrum; in feeding Hanna into a
bedridden state, he re-makes his once slim spouse
into a version of his mother that he can serve until her death. Not the most affirmative size acceptance role model.
Reading A Lot of Love, I was reminded of David
Galefs 1995 novel Flesh, which also charted the
self-destructive path of a manipulative F.A. (they
even share a similar ending). But where Galefs
novel at least worked hard to delineate and make
sympathetic its fat female characters, Watson and
Gebbia dont give us enough to see em as more
than one-note figures.
And while perhaps its unfair to compare Gebbias black-and-white brush renderings to the work
of such fat friendly illustrators as Paul Delacroix
and Ned Sonntag, I cant help doing so. (And whats
the deal with those circles on Claires cheeks?I
cant decide if theyre supposed to be bulges or
large rouge smears!) The scenes where Hanna is
depicted in stages of expansion, in particular, could
have benefited from a more sympathetic illustrator: Gebbia is just plain defeated when it comes to
showing Hanna at her largest size.
By that point, I suspect most fat readers and F.A.s
will have given up on A Lot of Love. Its take on the
relationship between fat admirer and admired is too
sordid and firmly lodged in the dysfunctional world
of talk showswhere pop psychology and scare tactics are de rigueurto offer anything new, challenging
or recognizable in a real-world sense. Perhaps if
Watson and Gebbia were asked about this, theyd
answer to the effect that, Its just one mans story! But F.A.s have been on the receiving end of this
particular rigid set of assumptions for years; time
for a new paradigm, think I.
One of these days well get a clear-eyed and extensive look at the issues that arise in a relationship between a fat woman and her lover. A Lot of
Love is not that look.

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Page 63

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