Praying to Ganesh..

Ganesha , God, Godson, Gatekeeper for Uma , is said to

be the 1st God without whose blessings , you cant
succeed in whatever yoga. Route of yoga is Ashirwad of
UmaShakti . You will not meet Uma unless , Gatekeeper
allows you so. Gatekeeper is Umaputra , who protects at
Mooladhar , the door of secret passage inside which Uma
is bathing. He wont permit, Purusha the Shiva to meet
Shakti, unless he is satisfied with devotion. Story of his
birth suggests interesting secret. Shiva cut his head &
replace by elephants head. Elephant breathes by Trunk,
not by side nostrils. Trunk is the nose for elephant. Trunk
is similar with Sushumna. Means unless you enter prana
in Susumna, door to Shakti will not open. As simple as
that.. But not so simple to do.
When I do ganesh upasana now, I feel how many years I
wasted doing discussions about Vedanta & being there or
not, years making fun of other people who do so. By such
Pradnya-Aparadh, those evil seeds of karma which I sow,
now coming & biting me. To add to that, I am living in
period of Kaliyuga, where any social contact, no matter it
real or virtual on the internet, makes bad impact on your
Chitta. Almost 99% percent, people I can get in touch
with daily in reality or on Internet, are against
Hindu/Vedic way of living & philosophy. Some agrees with
Philosophy, but are against the living , because it doesnt
suits them now. They do not want to change for sake of
their habits. In simple words, I am trying to become
actual Brahmin (being Brahmin by birth ), in cities of
charvakas,pakhandies & atheists in India(This is saddest
thing to say) .

Changing friends, sites, acquaintances is not helping. You

only replace 100% atheist with 70% atheist & him with
50% atheist. My mind is destabilizing because of this. It
gets booster with some diving thoughts. But gets trapped
into anxiety & depression, when I have dispute with
above mentioned atheists or half baked self proclaimed
Jnanis . I struck in real dilemma about what to do. My
last two attempts to solve this was turned down by
Goddess Shakti, by making sudden events in my life. It
clearly indicates, she want me to stay with my family &
friends for now. There may be some future motive. So I
cant go against her wish by doing stupid 3rd attempt. No
choice besides waiting. Either I should get aavaran on my
chitta completely cleared so it wont get polluted because
of social contact or I must live somewhere in Himalaya
lonely. Both requires , a presence of enlightened Master.
What are the chances of I getting to know
such ?????????????????????? Only Mother knows. Help
me.
PS---- Today I will try Japa of Ketu for Ganesha Krupa. I
believe Ketu resides at the point near Mooladhar. He is
one end of evil pair of Rahu-ketu, who drags Jeeva into
cycle of Time. Ketu is also related with Root ie Moola. He
is owner of 3 mula nakshatra ie Ashwini, Magha & Moola.
Ganesh is always known as Vignkarta simultaneously with
Vighnaharta. Marut ganas are said to be vedic form of
Ganesha . They are also in multiple nos.(21/28 ?) like
ketus who are 108 ? Need to find. Many suggest Ganesha
upasana for Bad ketu in horoscope. Lets do other way
round. May be lord ganesha will please with me this
time.
Sankasht Chaturti, 20th May 2011