THE FORGOTTEN

I must be claustrophobic Charlie thought. Nobody else seemed as bothered as her. It

was obvious they weren’t exactly comfortable but the urge to push past people and get
out into open air and space was starting to take over her composure. She sighed a
deep sigh as if she was trying to catch the air into her lungs while it was still there.
She looked down at George who was sleeping contentedly, blissfully unaware of the
angst that surrounded him. He sighed in his sleep and Charlie closed her eyes as she
could smell his sweet, fruity breath. Charlie was one of the few people on the train
with a baby. This along with her large brown eyes, jet black hair; a bit scraggy and
unkempt and pale complexion made her stand out like a sore thumb in such a clean-
cut, neat older crowd. They looked much calmer than her, like they knew where they
were going. Not that they were necessarily happy about it.

The train jolted quickly, throwing everyone forward in a great, startled heap. For
most people there was nothing to hold on to and they’d keep on falling when the train
came to an abrupt hault. The occasional shocked squeals followed by the thuds of
bodies falling onto their bags were some of the few noises to break the silence. If
anyone did speak, they suddenly had an audience of about one hundred people which
would’ve been particularly embarrassing as everyone was far too irritable to start
talking fluffy, light conversation. Every now and again people would quietly scratch
frustrated, angry noises into the already troubled atmosphere, hoping nobody had
noticed.

There were few windows in the train; just a few narrow slits at the top. Charlie
peered through, trying to catch glimpses of the outdoors for some form of
recognisable landscape but the train went at such speed, the landscape moulded into a
mixture of browns, greens and yellows, whizzing by.

Charlie made a promise to herself on the train. She promised that when she was off it,
she would take a while to appreciate her freedom and space out in the open so at least
it could’ve all been worth while in some small way. She suddenly noticed two
women looking at her as they seemed to be sharing some intense gossip. They both
quickly looked away as soon as she noticed them.

The train finally stopped abruptly at its destination much to everybodies great relief.
Everyone cautiously stepped off the train. Charlie could barely believe her eyes.
Never before had she seen such a beautiful building. A huge Victorian house stood
before a long gravel drive, fountain on neatly mowed grass in the centre. The scenery
was slightly ruined by a disarray of rusty cars, other vehicles and abandoned
machinery. The atmosphere was still so despondent and Charlie couldn’t tell whether
it was because everyone was travelling alone or whether the gloominess of the
journey was finding it hard to disperse completely.

Suddenly, all the light from Charlie’s world vanished in an instant. Nothing but
darkness. But her eyes were open. She felt something tight around her neck.
Something rough scraped over her hair. She reached out. She called for George. She
heard him whimper. ‘George, George, sweetie, it’s OK. It’s fine. I’m right here.’
Then, voices. Foreign voices. She couldn’t understand what they were saying but the
tone was very commanding and forthright. She felt hands pushing her back. A stick
was poked sharply into the side of her stomach. She moved forward. She could hear
George next to her. Crying. She reached for him to comfort him but the hands
guided her away. With one last final huge push, she landed into even more darkness.
At least before some light was able to get through the tiny holes in the bag over her
head but now she knew she was in a place of total darkness. The bag was removed
from her head and she immediately looked for George. She saw him then heard a
door slam shut behind them. This was followed by an awkwardly squealing bolt
edging its way back into its lock.

It took a while for Charlie’s eyes to adjust but they homed in on George again. He
had stopped crying but he was shaking. She could see he was frightened. She held
him tightly as her eyes darted around the room. There were so many of them packed
into this prison. Then she noticed it was all the same people who had been on the
train. Her eyes met with other eyes that merely glanced back and then darted back to
the floor. Some were in groups and others were alone, littering the outskirts of the
groups. Many women were ill and injured; some hobbled along with broken legs.

The rain from the night before had left the building smelling musty and it was hot and
clammy. It wasn’t long before Charlie was desperate to go outside. For the cool
breeze to quickly dry and dispose of the clamminess and make her feel the pure
indulgence of coolness on her hot face.

Out of the corner of her eye, Charlie noticed she was being watched. The lady
watching her hadn’t been on the train. Embarrassed at having been noticed, the
woman felt compelled to speak, ‘You new?’

‘New? I guess so.’

‘Hmmm’ the woman chuckled to herself and walked away. Charlie watched her in
case she was going to laugh about her with some of her friends. She walked past a
crowd of women and proceeded to settle down by herself in a corner of the room.

George started to cry and Charlie quickly soothed him. She tickled him and made
funny noises and faces so he was giggling again as if he had forgotten about the
trauma he had incurred merely minutes before. He then settled down and looked in
awe around the room. He was taking in all the faces and this entirely new setting with
new smells and new hard, floor beneath his feet. Charlie noticed some people took a
lot of interest in her and George whereas some made a deliberate effort not to look at
them.

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It took a while, but eventually Charlie managed to summon the courage to talk to the
lady who had first spoken to her when she arrived in the prison. ‘Sorry if I didn’t say
much before. I was a bit shell shocked!’ She smiled, ‘My name’s Charlie by the
way.’

The woman shook her head and smirked again, ‘You don’t have a name in this place,
love.’
‘This place,’ Charlie repeated, ignoring the jibe, ‘I keep on hearing about this place
but where are we exactly?’
‘
The woman looked at her properly for the first time, ‘Don’t you know?’ She sounded
surprised, ‘Don’t you know why you’re here?’

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Many weeks passed in the prison. Charlie’s hope and need for knowledge was
starting to slip away from her as her grasp over it grew tired and weak. The condition
of the prison was filthy; the floor was hard and always wet, even when it hadn’t been
raining. It must have been summer by now, Charlie thought. The prison was so dark
that the walls made a perfect canvas for the splashes of gold and white streaks of
sunlight that struggled through tiny gaps and holes in the wall. It was almost too
painful to be reminded of the beauty of sunlight and to gain even a glimpse of the
outdoors. Sounds such as singing and laughter would occasionally tiptoe into the
prison but only briefly at most. Sometimes, if nobody was looking, Charlie would
close her eyes to hear the birds singing outside; if she let herself, she could imagine
she was out there with them. Life before now was full of simple pleasures once taken
for granted. Now her heart would yo-yo from exhilaration to a deep sorrow at the
very thought of them.

The smell of vomit, blood, urine and even faeces made Charlie very cautious of where
to tread with her bare feet. The food was tasteless mush, left in the centre of the room
for them to fight over like dogs. These, however, were far from the worst things
about the prison. The worst thing was the fear. It constantly watched over everyone
like a loitering shadow. For Charlie it was not knowing why she was here, what they
wanted from her and her son and never knowing what was going to happen next. The
fear would just sit with her quietly until she could hear the footsteps of the main
guard. Then it would dart in front of her, wrenching at her heart, causing her entire
body to shake beyond her control. She tried so hard to cover her shaking. She didn’t
want Him to know how much power He had. She hated Him. He had her world, her
precious son, in his hands. Her only fear and yet her only hope all tossed together in
the package of a complacent, ignorant, unfeeling machine. He had broad shoulders,
eyes like daggers that never stayed on them for more than a second. If they ever did,
He would quickly look away as if to deny to Himself that they were actually there.
He never walked or ran; just plodded everywhere. His loud, heavy footsteps were
unable to make any variation of noise or movement. He would bark foreign
commands in their general direction, grunting and snorting the rest of the time. He
had a red, wrinkled face that looked like it was made of wax which was now starting
to melt. The utter terror of his lack of feeling towards her and the other women and
children didn’t give her the confidence to hate him as much as a more powerful her
would have. Little did she know just how much she had to be afraid of.

He came in every morning, without fail. He’d briefly check them all over, nobody
knew why, and then sometimes take a woman outside with him. She would never
return. This morning he came in much like any other. Everyone watched cautiously.
Charlie hid George behind her, willing him to stay asleep; afraid of him crying and
bringing attention to them. Charlie slowly followed the trail to see who his eyes were
burning into today. It was the woman she’d first spoken to. It didn’t take long for
him to pull her roughly by the hair and head towards the door. Without even having
time to contemplate what she was doing, Charlie lunged for the woman and tried to
pull her free. With this, the woman who had initially been fairly resigned to her fate,
started to struggle. She broke free and ran deep into the crowd of women. All eyes
were on the main guard as he walked towards them and they backed away. He peered
into the crowd for a while before making a backward swinging gesture with his hand
and walking out. The door sighed with relief behind him and the usually silent room
filled with excited chatter. Charlie went back to George who was starting to wake
with all the excitement. He smiled as he saw her looking down at him and made
happy chatty noises. Charlie felt a tap on her shoulder. ‘No one’s ever done that for
me before.’ The woman could barely get her words out. ‘Thanks.’ She cleared her
throat before talking again, ‘Oh, and my name’s Mia.’

Charlie smiled, ‘Hi, Mia. Well, you know my name and this is my son, George.’

Mia looked down and smiled awkwardly at George, ‘Hi’ she waved at him only to be
met by a blank, confused expression and then a particularly large spit bubble
interspersed with many little ones. ‘He’s cute.’ She said as if it was the first time
she’d ever said that sentence. They shared a smile and said nothing but somehow
without even realising it, they were united by the warm, exhilarating feeling that
neither of them was going to be alone again.

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It took Charlie a while to realise where she was the next morning. The first thing she
noticed about her new surroundings was the smell. Soothing lavender closely
followed by the sweet succulent smell of honeysuckle. She could feel the sun on her
skin as it lit the path before her. The wind whistled through the trees as the leaves
danced around them and gently cascaded over flowers. She couldn’t help it. The
urge to run and use all the space before her was overwhelming. So many colours, so
much space, all her senses feasted on the banquet that stood before her. Some flowers
were so tall that they softly brushed against her face as she ran. The birds sang out
her happiness, her freedom, her all the time in the world. She ran so fast that she had
to collapse into the long grass. She closed her eyes and indulged her senses further.

When she opened her eyes she was greeted by two overjoyed little faces at the bottom
of the hill. ‘George! Mia!’ She ran towards them and they hugged. Suddenly, Mia’s
face dropped from a huge smile to a look of bitter disappointment. ‘You’re not
supposed to be here.’ She said quietly. Charlie looked at her questioningly, waiting
for more information, but she said nothing. The field and everything in it melted, so
she became engulfed in blackness. She was woken up by raindrops dripping through
a hole in the roof onto her nose, one by one, playing and chasing one another down
her face. She had such a headache it felt like her brain was banging against her head,
refusing to be contained any longer. She desperately wanted to go back to that dream
but facing the fact that she couldn’t, she blearily rubbed her eyes and prepared to
battle the morning ahead.

Charlie was surrounded by sleeping bodies breathing heavy and slow, occasionally
twitching. She looked down at George as he slept. His usually big brown eyes were
covered by heavy lids and long lashes. The doors to his soul were closed as he tried
to make sense of the previous day. She wanted to join him in his peaceful world.
This was one of the few times George was able to enter a world void of fear or pain.
She noticed Mia watching her, smiling. She tiptoed over. ‘Charlie, I want to tell you
something,’ She whispered. Charlie tried to talk back but as she did the smell of the
urine soaked floor, reached down her throat and twisted her larynx, making her gag.

‘This place is getting worse by the minute.’ Mia agreed. She looked around her
checking for listeners, ‘look, Charlie, I’ve got a plan…’ She stopped abruptly. ‘Hallo,
squidge.’ She smiled at George. Charlie bent down and soothed him back to sleep.
When she looked up at Mia, she noticed all the life had suddenly drained from her;
her eyes bulged and her face was frozen as if time had stopped. ‘Did you hear that?’
She finally whispered hurriedly. Then Charlie heard it too. Footsteps. Charlie’s
heart pounded as the footsteps grew closer. The tension grew with every step. Then
they stopped. Everyone held their breath in anticipation until finally the door opened
and panic ensued to the point where Charlie forgot about her headache. The terror
was so thick in the air you could feel it. The door screamed open.

Charlie couldn’t see his face; just the outline of his broading, dark figure. His shadow
hanging menacingly behind him like an excited, blood thirsty accomplice. Everyone
started to back away. He homed in on a young boy who was quite sickly. Charlie’s
heart felt as if it was going to come out of her chest.

The guard started to poke the boy with his stick. He looked so weak, it was like the
guard was prodding through measly scraps in a dustbin. He fell to the floor and the
guard poked at him to get him up again. He wobbled about a bit but fell to the floor
again. This time the guard kicked him as if he had fallen on purpose. ‘Get up!’ he
shouted. Again he tried. The guard tried lifting him using his stick underneath his
stomach as he was bent down on all fours, but the boy fell and curled up into a tiny
fragile heap. ‘Get up! Get up!’ Charlie whispered. Nothing. The boy’s mum leapt
forward, hanging onto her son’s leg, screaming out as she did so. ‘No!’ She
screamed. Charlie grabbed hold of an arm. The guard shook her off like dust off a
mat. He ripped the boy away from his mum. After trying again and then being
kicked out of the way, his mum let out a howl. This was a sound Charlie had never
heard before. It sent cold, sharp tingles down her spine.

Finally he dragged him outside. The room was so silent; listening. The door
slammed behind them, the bolt abruptly jerked into the slot and they heard his
footsteps plodding, even slower than usual as He dragged the boy alongside him.
Suddenly, the plodding stopped. A couple of clicks, a sigh, a whimper then BANG!
A gunshot. Everyone jumped. A thud as a body fell to the floor. Most stood in
silence. His mother fell to the floor; a pitiful, helpless heap of despair, and wept. She
thumped the hard, damp floor. ‘Why?’ She struggled to speak as her voice was
swollen with pain, ‘why my son?’

Mia looked at Charlie. ‘We need to get you out of here,’ she said sullenly, ‘And I
think I have an idea.

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Mia had felt a bubble of swelling up inside her chest all morning. She remembered
how her mum had always told her anxiety and excitement were the same thing, the
only thing that made a difference was how you labelled it. She decided this was
excitement. She glanced over at Charlie who was whispering something to George.
Any minute now He would come in. She half hoped he wouldn’t so she wouldn’t
have to go through with the plan. Then she heard his drudging, complacent footsteps
getting closer. She noticed Charlie flash her a nervous look and got into position.
She didn’t know why, but Mia had always noticed that the main guard always took
the ill or weak women or children outside. Boom! The door bellowed as he pushed it
aside and stood at the foot of the room, staring down at them all. He noticed Mia
lying on her side immediately. He muttered something in a foreign language and tried
to help her up. She fell to the floor. He made some inconvenienced murmurings as
he put his head to the floor and slowly started to pull her towards the door. Mia
looked at Charlie; had nerves got the better of her? Charlie was holding back,
clinging to George. Mia’s eyes widened. Don’t let me down. Please don’t let me
down!

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the guard fell and let go of Mia. She looked up and smiled
at Charlie who stood over Him, obviously shocked at her own strength and courage.
For a moment, Mia stood shocked but it didn’t take her long to seize her opportunity
to run. Charlie followed her, taking George with her. A huge stretch of forest lay
before them and they headed straight for it. As she was running, Charlie felt like she
was dreaming. Somehow it didn’t seem real. The feeling of the grass beneath her
feet, the feeling of hope again, gave her all the adrenaline she needed. She heard the
main guard call out to others and she knew before long they were being chased. She
daren’t look behind her. She could hear panting and footsteps behind her. Mia was
ahead of her. She was so busy running, it took a while for her to notice what had
happened in front of her. ‘Mia!’ She had tripped over. ‘Get up, Mia!’ She was
getting up as fast as she could. Charlie caught up with her and helped her up. She
had twisted her ankle. Charlie knew there was no way they could outrun them and
she knew she’d have to think fast. She noticed a barn in the distance. ‘Can you make
it to the barn?’ She breathlessly whispered to Mia who weakly nodded in return. Mia
hobbled along as Charlie acted as support. If she could get them in the barn and stop
the men from entering, they could escape out another door, hopefully unnoticed. Mia
collapsed into the doorway and Charlie quickly followed and hurriedly stacked chairs
and other heavy objects against the door. ‘I’m sorry.’ She whispered to Mia as she
forced her to walk further. Charlie quickly ushered her through the back door and
they quietly ran as they heard the two men starting to break through the barn door in
the distance.

Another barn was nearby and without saying anything, they both headed for it. It was
locked. Charlie knocked desperately on the door. ‘Come on, come on.’ She willed
them under her breath. A man opened the door. He said something in a foreign
language. ‘Please help us. We’re being chased!’ She was met with a confused look.
‘Do you speak English?’ She continued. The man must have recognised their
terrified expressions and he let them inside. It was a quiet little barn. Both beautiful
and humble; it was old fashioned, small, cosy and strangely clean. The man said
something they couldn’t understand and took them inside. He made them some food,
said something to them and walked into another part of the barn. Mia smiled at
Charlie, her face full of food. ‘Didn’t know you were such a hardnut, Charlie’ She
grinned. Charlie smiled back. The man was making a phone call in another room. ‘I
can’t believe we’re free.’ Charlie exasperated back, ‘we’re out of that place.’ She ate
a bit more before carrying on, ‘We need to tell someone about that place and get
everyone out. If we leave it to the morning it should be safe to travel again. Mia
interrupted, ‘We need to find someone who speaks English!’ Charlie nodded and
continued to eat.

The man came back into the kitchen and they smiled at him. Charlie told him how
grateful she was to him with as enthusiastic a tone as possible, knowing he probably
didn’t know a word she was saying. He smiled and nodded politely before leaving
again.

Charlie dropped some of her food on the floor and started to clean it up. Suddenly a
loud bang startled her and before she could look up, George was on the floor with her,
blood pouring from his head. She looked up. It was the main guard. Mia stood next
to him, stunned and horrified. Charlie sobbed as she tried to rouse George as he lay
dying. His crimson blood glooped around his head and coloured the white marble
floor. Suddenly a loud, shrill scream filled the barn. Then Charlie noticed where the
noise was coming from; it was her.

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Grief is a monster that stalks. You think you’re fine, that you’re coping. You’re
keeping busy, not thinking about it. Then suddenly it creeps up on you when you
least expect it. You remember. A sudden tugging in your chest causes an aching pain
and you don’t want to be anymore; just for a while. You just want to morph into an
unfeeling cloud or raindrop and slowly and unknowingly disappear back into the
Earth.

It wasn’t only George who Mia felt she had lost the day he was shot. The Charlie that
she had grown to know and adore had been devoured by a hardened, angry, bitter
monster. Her once watery eyes had frozen and solidified. There was no life in them
anymore. No expression. She didn’t seem to notice anything anymore. Mia tried to
bring her back but bitterness spreads fast and it doesn’t leave a morsel behind.

It would be six months before Charlie would see George again. She could hardly
believe it when the doors to the prison remained open one morning. She was ushered
outside with Mia and the rest of the women. They moved in a large crowd towards
the building in front of them. Was this it? Were they finally free? Some girls tried to
run away but were sent back. Everyone stayed close together, moving in a large
huddle. Suddenly a shot was heard from behind the crowd but everyone was too
afraid to look round. Someone started to scream.

The smell of blood and death had reached them before they got to the building but
once they were in it, it was all too obvious what their fate would be. Blood still lay on
the floor from previous kills. The killing equipment hung in front of them, gleaming
and laughing at their pathetic attempts to escape.

As Charlie lay dying on the abattoir floor, her ears flooded with screaming and crying
from all the other women and children she had shared so much of her life with, she
felt her soul slowly starting to drift from her body. She looked back at Mia and
noticed that she was already dead. Charlie’s life flashed before her eyes. It wasn’t
her life though. As she could feel the sun on her skin and hear the wind whistling
through the trees, she was greeted by two overjoyed little faces at the bottom of the
hill. ‘George! Mia!’ She ran towards them and they hugged. Then, nothing.