Deiparine, Jesmae Anril N.

1AMT

PHILOSOPHY

Phenomenology in the Pursuit of Adolescent Happiness

If you look in the mirror and dont like what you see,
You can find out firsthand what its like to be me.- Gerard Way

Lets just say high school was a flurry of emotions and awkward puberty. Some had it lucky
while others were very unfortunate. It was either you make it, break it or fake it. To rise and rule
on the social ladder or to crash and burn in flames. Fitting in with the right kind of people
was an absolute necessity and popularity was some sort of drug for the Alabang kids. Being the
probinsyana that I was (from Cavite), sosyal was a very new thing. It concerned me how I should
approach these people and how they would treat me back. Let me be a spoiler, but hey, I
somehow made friends (the RIGHT kind) along the way. Most of these friends I still keep in
contact until now, but I also had a lot of friends that made me question myself for a majority of
my misspent high school career. It seems pretty stupid now, but it was the point where, though
not often, I asked myself if I liked me, or if I was REALLY happy. I remember that my answer
was I wasnt happy and that I didnt like the me I was presenting to others. So what was my
plan of action back then? Well I started paving my way on the road of a better and happier
version of myself by observing how other kids at school made themselves happy (or look happy),
and instead of finding a solution to my problem, I found nothing but flaws and more
questions to ask.
What really was happiness for todays young adults? From all Ive seen and heard, is it really
popularity? Is it to be known as this guy/girl that did this and THAT? Or is it placing value on
the number of friends you have, how pretty and stylish you are, being in the coolest clique, or
dating a lot of people and the hottest boys and girls around? Is it to strive for academic
excellence that its borderline over-the-top while having zero social life? Or is it to be the star
player and athlete of the year? Or perhaps be the teachers pet and leader of every single
organization under the schools name? Maybe its just to do anything and everything you want,
even if it meant breaking the school rules. Looking at these people around 3-4 years ago made
feel lost, confused and almost spiteful. Theyre all so shallow. Everyone seemed superficial,
fake, phony, plastic, OA, and everything they did lacked depth, all solely based on my judgement
and from my own ideals.
That wont make me happy, so why would it work on them?
But now that Im well past that point in my life and well-equipped with a new outlook and
perspective on things, Ive been given this opportunity to ponder over this experience, after just a
few years, and see it with new eyes and a sense of personal detachment. This allows me to be
more aware and open to other views on the things at hand, and is pretty much a step in the right
direction to self-maturity.
First, I need to let go of whatever judgement I hold and then reshape my understanding of
what happiness is. In proper dictionary context, happiness is the state of being happy or feeling

pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc. (thanks, Merriam-Webster). I can
then say that there are so many variables I can change without losing the feeling of pleasure and
enjoyment, no matter where the setting is (which in my case was in high school). In regards to
the people I was talking about, what could have made them happy may be any object or activity
that they like, to be surrounded by a certain type of people, or any event or happening in their
lives that was worthwhile (from the simplest to the most extravagant), and list goes on. All these
reasons could be triggered by a lot of factors (i.e. family, friends, environment, etc.), varying
from one person to another.
To think that Ive judged my high school community only from what I saw and heard, but
never truly pondered on their individuality makes me rethink how I was the shallow-minded one.
I then ask myself what if that one person I thought was the batch speed-dating pro was only
searching for real love in the midst of too many fishes in the water? Or that one time where the
academic-over-achiever got mad, yelled and cried at her lazy group mates for hours where I
swore she went crazy. Was she scared of failing and disappointing her parents? What if the
basketball jock who played all day, every day but failed every class, was just striving to match
his legendary dads basketball skills? Or maybe staring down on everyone with her chin held
high was this annoying girls way to cope with how shes so self-conscious and afraid of people
talking behind her back?
These are all assumptions because unfortunately, Im not a mind-reader nor a private
investigator. What I can impart for now though is happiness comes in different ways for different
people. There are societal norms, but everyone goes outside the box more than once or twice. To
be happy has more value and background than Ive ever imagined, its like your project with
your own requirements. To say that adolescent happiness is the final strand is an understatement.
Youth is bliss and fleeting, but our own happiness is concrete, changing and unique. Now that
Im done analyzing other peoples happiness Im freely pursuing my own, one step at a time.
You only hold me up like this cause you don't know who I really am.
Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you.
-from the song Of All The Gin Joints In All The World
By Fall Out Boy