S E X

CRITERION
The Student News Magazine of La Sierra University | February 2014

contents
february 2014

05

06

14

//editor's note

//reality of sex

//sex talk

Join the conversation on an

essential part of us: sex.

A varried look into the sexual

perceptions of our campus.

Being candid about our

sexual experiences.

16

22
//aids

24

//the sexy lie

A conversation with a leader

of our LGBT community.

The relevance of AIDs in

Adventism, rediscovered.

How many lies can you take

in one day?

28

30

32

//danielPEREZ interview

//sexual fantasy

//female fans

//desire or love?

What does sex look like in

film and art?

One fan's take on the

existence of women fans.

Is there even a difference

between the two?

35

36

//marriage and sex

//the porn industry

The religious perspectives of

the sexual ethic.

What draws people to the

porn industry?

Editor-in-Chief
Jonah Valdez

Features Editor
Janell Haylock

Arts Editor
Brenda Delfino

Sports Editor
Adrian Wilson

Religion Editor
Daniel Peverini

Essay Editor
Isaac Carren

Layout Editors
Evan Aumack
Rachel Cho

Advisor

Israel Carren

Writers

Abel Medel
Lorel Durant
Simer Kaur
Caitlin Cuenca
Max Gutierrez
Teodora Balaj
Shannon Taylor
Nicole Samila
Amar Kiswani
Jamie Perchez
Cesar Saldaa
Matthew Valdez
Kyle Cespedes
Syria Armenta
Sarah Lancaster
Kevin Alexander
Aaron Schoonover

Photographers
Jonathan Rojas
Baraa Alaraj
Adrian Wilson

04

EDITOR'S NOTE
I thought sex was optional.
I was in the fourth grade on the verge of the decade mark and I knew thingsyes,
even things about sex. I knew the stork and baby explanation was fiction. I knew
making love and sex were separate, but equally effective means of impregnation.
I knew that a penis enters a womens vagina and that was sex. I knew that couples
engaged in kissing and hugging and that was making love. I knew this from the
movies, as the actors did so, burrowing themselves under the covers, as the music
played harmoniously. What did they have to hide? I knew that a person could make
their choice: pregnancy through making love or pregnancy through having sex. I
had always assumed that my parents chose the former. Kissing and hugging, or,
making love, just seemed so much easier, anyway. Sex looked like a real pain.
I knew things, but I obviously had no bearing on the sexual realities of life.
So, to destroy the myths, enlighten my ignorant mind, and once and for all, set the
record straight about sex, I turned to the church. But it wasnt my pastors that broke
the truth. It wasnt my youth leader, and it wasnt even my parents.
On a Saturday night, waiting for a church board meeting to end, I stood on the rocky
soil of our church parking lot, under a tree, next to the parked cars, hidden from the
lights in the secrecy of shadows, and in the company of my friends. Becuase I usually
spent a lot of time with my older brother, most of my friends were older that I. These
individuals were in sixth grade, kings of the elementary. They were truly in the know.
So, when we got to talking about sex, I perked my ears for an education. They told
me that sex was the only way to get a girl pregnant and chuckled at my primitive
dualism of making love and sex. My cheeks reddened and I stood embarrassed.
But I realized I was now really in the know. I felt like I joined the club, a new rank of
maturity. On that Saturday night in the church parking lot, my pre-teen friends beat
my parents to the punch. They gave me the truth. Thus, my conversation of sex had
begun.
Sex is perhaps one of the most pervasive enigmas of society. There is never any easy
answer to good sex. A large, sweeping solution for preventing sexual abuse hardly
exists. Sexually transmitted diseases are still a reality for even the most educated
societies. Sex has even morphed into a marketing tool, luring millions into buying
products, watching films, and engaging in activities through the erotic idealizations
and sultry advertisements. Scientists, psychologists, counselors, and therapists have
been working to understand sex for years, and still, there is much to learn of such a
bodily function. While sex is many things, its ambiguity should not work to dissuade.
In fact, its vague character works as a sort of invitation for even further discovery.
How so? Let us recall the notion of friendship.
When you gather together with friends, you always want to listen to each others
stories and latest news in each others lives. From irritated laments about a particular
professor that drones on for hours with a dry, monotone voice, to the stories of a
romantic interest in a particular boy or girl, friends crave details. Friends want to
know what makes this professor so boring, how he keeps the same facial expression
and bodily position the entire class period, only shifting to click for the next side or
to laugh at his own lame jokes. They want to hear about how that cute girl walked
up to you after university worship and gave you her number, or how that mysterious,
quiet good-looking guy that always sits in the back, actually smiled at one of your
jokes, which set a flurry of butterflies in your stomach. Love at first sight. Friends, no
matter the circumstance, tell it as it is. Friends are concerned with the truth.
The same applies to our situation of sex. The topic is not easily defined, and yet we
should be demanding the details. We should be looking for the gritty facts, the things
that drive the notion forward. We should be concerned with the truth of sex. In a
society where the media is the most effective educator of sex, we are in desperate
need for a reality check. Engage with this issue and the matters brought forward like
a conversation with a good friend. Engross yourself in the stories as if we are that
friend, spitting the details and colorful phrases, causing moments of laughter and
spells of urgency, but most importantly, informing and building accountability.
Lets talk about sex.
Peace,
Jonah Valdez
Editor-in-Chief

news

reality of sex
//jonahVALDEZ
On January 22, President Obama
established a task force in a recent effort
to combat sexual assault within college
campuses. The Presidents cabinet was
at hand, beaming down on their leader,
smiling for cameras, nodding their heads
in approval. President Obama was
seated on a wooden desk, varnished to
a shine, bearing the stately Presidential
Seal on its front. The curtains, a bright
yellow, gave life to the room, along with
golden candlesticks across the walls.
The East Room of the White House,
which often holds musical concerts,
banquets, and dinners, was fit for a
celebration, a regal event. But for the
President, there was no room for smiles,
as he signed the memorandum with his
classic solemnity. These efforts stirred
in the wake of a recent report, released
by the White House Council on Women
and Girls, during the anniversary of the
landmark Roe v. Wade ruling on abortion rights. The report showed that out
of the 22 million women of America that
are raped in their lifetime, the majority
suffers this experience between the ages
of 16-24. The heart of this age range
encompasses the college demographic.
Only 12 percent of this group notified the
authorities about their assault. Seven
percent of college males have admitted
to either committing or attempting rape.
Two thirds of these male individuals have
done so on multiple occasions.
The report detailed, Many at-

tacks occur at parties, victims are often

abused while theyre drunk, under the
influence of drugs, passed out or otherwise incapacitated. With an urgent
tone, the President called upon our
basic decency and humanity, maintaining that Weve got to keep teaching
young men in particular to show women
the respect they deserve and to recognize sexual violence and be outraged
by it, and to do their part to stop it from
happening in the first place.
Amidst this sobering national report,
reverberating across social media and
into the minds of administrators and students alike, college campuses in America
are reminded of two things:
First, sex, whether consensual or
nonconsensual, is a reality for college
students; and second, a more robust,
open, and helpful conversation about
sex is lacking.
Sex in America
Sex is no taboo secret. Sex is a
reality of life. Its even ingrained in our
nature. Virginia Johnson, prominent
sexologist of the mid to late Twentieth
Century, once commented, We are
born, man, women, and sexual beings.
Beyond nature, its various forms and
portrayals bombard our experiences.
There is sex on television, the movies,
the Internet, in our homes, in magazines,
video games, novels, the Bible, and as a
06

result, it dominates the typical collegiate

conversation. During the early days of
pubescence, sexual urges begin to rise
and we start to really think and function
sexually. Most call upon the mentioned
outlets of media and literature. These
outlets, in some ways, become our
sexual instructors. They give us images
of sex, what sex can look like, and we
set forth into our teenage years, seeking a tangible release for our formulated
imaginations and fantasies. In college,
more than ever do we think about sex
and engage in sexual activity. Additional
to the harrowing numbers of the White
House report, Discovery News reported
in their study that 86 percent of the
college-aged respondents admitted to
having multiple sexual partners. In a
recent study conducted by the Guttmacher Institute, it was reported that by
the age of eighteen, 61 percent of Americans have had sex. This figure grows to
71 percent for nineteen-year-olds. Sex is
happening, its prevalent, and we stare
at these numbers in either concern or
obvious agreement. Sex can be a joyful
experience; it can also be frightening.
Yes, it is important, particularly
among students who have not had sex
yet. However, the unintended consequences of pre-marital sex are just as
real as is the demand for pre-marital
sex on campus, said Sasha Ross, assistant professor of Global Studies
and director of the Womens Resource

Center, an organization established at La

Sierra University in 1996 which seeks to
deepen the conversation about gender and encourage women and men to
greater equality.
Professor Ross highlights the various
risks that come with pre-marital sex,
including, the prevalence of HIV and
other sexually-transmitted infections on
campus, the long-term emotional, financial, and social consequences on female
students if they get pregnant, and the
emotional and spiritual loneliness that
both men and women may face. More
than 1 million women are raped each
year, with 1 in 4 women affected by
sexual violence in their adult lifetimes on
average, and over 6 million women and
men are victims of stalking and sexual
harassment each year here in the U.S.
A lot of people approach sex with
either a certain naivet, or at the other
end learn the hard way the problems
that can and do come with sex, she
said. Attributing this prevalent sexual
behavior in part to the sexually objectifying aspects of society and pop culture,
Professor Ross warns against a mode
of thinking that disassociates a persons
body from their mind and soul. Without
thinking, we can let people into our life
or put ourselves in situations are not in
our own best interest, she said. Poor
advice from friends who turn out to be
untrustworthy, proximity to high-risk

locations, and the lack of an effective

vocabulary to say no, can have a longterm impact that you would never knowingly choose, she said.
Depression and a low sense of
self-worth, a pattern of broken relationships in one's family or inner circle, the
emotional fall-out from ones childhood
or parents relationship(s), and family
hardship were also cited as factors that
may influence peoples decisions about
sex. Premarital sex has consequences,
and they are usually worse for women
than men, both at the individual and collective levels, says Professor Ross.
If youre skeptical about whether
women have it worse than men when it
comes to sexual consequences, just ask
Dr. Paul Mallery, a social psychologist
here at La Sierra University who specializes in Gender Studies.
Certainly women have it worse
than men in terms of social stigma associated with premarital sex, says Dr.
Mallery Adolescent and young adult
men who have premarital sex are considered somewhat more positively than
women who have had premarital sex.
For women, it can lead to being treated
poorly and becoming less popular more
than for men. And being stigmatized and
treated poorly can make you psychologically distressed. So though there is more
psychological distress for women than

men on the whole, the cause seems to

be more because of the social stigma
than something essentially tied to gender.
Its evident that sex outside of marriage comes with a load of consequences for both genders. Still, the common
student would remain a skeptic. I am
committed to my partner. We have safe,
responsible sex and its great. If sex is
fun and makes me happy, why should I
stop doing it?
Along this sentiment, an anonymous
male student who responded to the
Criterions recent online survey, which
asked students to share their sexual experiences and perspectives said, There
is always going to be a disconnect
between what we should be doing and
what we are doing. My question is more
about if we are teaching the right way
(safe sex, dangers of promiscuity, emotional boundaries) to have sex instead of
if we should be having sex.
A female student also responded
by saying I fully believe that exploring my sexuality has made me into a
more confident and satisfied person. As
long as the sex that I'm thinking about
participating in is safe, I'm very open to
exploring it even further. I don't think
that abstaining from sex is the answer,
but rather choosing your partners carefully and approaching it with open com-

munication.

tricky.

If all the factors line up and one were

to engage in consensual sex, Dr. Mallery
offers that across the board, premarital
sex isn't associated with negative psychological outcomes; it depends on the
people involved and the circumstance.
People who have had consensual
premarital sex don't tend to differ from
those who haven't in terms of happiness,
psychological disorders, or how satisfied
they are with their marriages.

As it pertains to sex, what is the

response of our own university? The Department of Student Life has created an
entire policy and official, written stance.

So, in other words, it is possible

to be emotionally and psychologically
healthy and still engage in premarital
sex.
Some argue and present multiple
reasons why one should have sex and
if anything, the many negative factors
of sex cannot always be assumed as a
reason not to have sex. In fact, one can
just as easily say that it is perhaps an
invitation for a cautious, yet open and
helpful conversation of how and when to
have sex.
The Ethic That Drives Us
While acknowledging the great need
for a deeper conversation about sex to
exist, still, the dialogue comes in diverse
forms. Navigating through the many
responses to the sexual realities can be
08

The La Sierra University Student

Handbook states that we resolve to live
consistently within traditional Christian
values and teaching on sexuality. In
short, we adhere to the Christian ethic of
sex, the Christian ideal and expectation
of sex. From this ideal, they have formulated this stance: The university expects
that students will not engage in sexual
intercourse outside of marriage nor engage in any sexual behavior that would
interfere with the learning environment and its community. Students who
engage in this type of sexual activity will
be subject to disciplinary consequences.
La Sierra University does not condone
cohabitation by unmarried students . . .
the university reserves the right to take
action against the students involved,
including canceling registrations or withholding permission to register.
The University is calling this community to treat sex as a, gift from God,
something that should exist only within
marriage. Based on the Criterions
online survey responses, many of the
student respondents agree in calling sex
as a gift from God and should save sex
for marriage. So, when one considers the

listed numbers that reveal widespread

sexual activity amongst college-age
individuals, how should they label these
figures? Alarming? It depends. Misleading? At first glance, yes. If one were to
place these national numbers side-byside with the Christian ideal of sex, the
disparity is obvious. But is it fair to make
such a comparison? If one were to infer
that as a Christian community, La Sierra
University is therefore different, better,
or somehow exempt from these numbers, the individual would be entering
some murky waters.
For some clarification, we turned
to Associate Vice President of Student
Life and Dean of Students, Marjorie
Robinson. Speaking on behalf of her
experiences and her knowledge, she
made sure to point out that she is not,
by any means, speaking for the entirety
of the Student Life Department. The
handbook, also being a communal,
group effort, is only interpreted by Dean
Robinson. Her statements are based
on prior experience when dealing with
students and stand as a vital point to this
conversation.
When asked about the significance
of the national numbers that portray a
college demographic that is seemingly
hooked on sex, Dean Robinson responded, I think these numbers are absolutely
relevant. We are not here with blinders
on. We understand that those numbers
are very real. We are not under the assumption that No one does that here.
Acknowledging these numbers in an
understanding light, there is still a level
of uncertainty and alarm. We look over
situations with students who have been
involved sexually and see the repercussions of falling outside the ideal and fail
to see that there is something better.
She went on to say that all the different
difficulties, which she has seen, that premarital sex has caused or brought about,
helps her in her understanding of the
issue. When you are connecting with
somebody in a physical way, there are so
many other components that are a part
of it. It is not just an act of expressing
physical love. Now youve connected to
somebody at a totally different level. So
if at some point there is no commitment,
people do not take the time to understand that there is so much more.
In trying to rationalize the pervasive
sexual activities of the college demographic, Dean Robinson pointed out
what very well may be the highest rate
of pornography usage that history has
ever seen. She notes how it has skewed
our view of what sex is and was meant
to be. Like Professor Ross, Dean Robinson attributes these issues with the
greater whole of society, commercials
with sexual innuendos and other pop
culture elements.
And what is the response to all of

If all the factors line up

and one were to engage in
consensual sex, Dr. Mallery
offers that across the
board, premarital sex isn't
associated with negative
psychological outcomes
these possible pitfalls of society?
There has to be an ideal somehow,
somewhere. Its good to have something to reach for, says Dean Robinson.
And thats why it is important for us
as an institution to have the ideals and
also have the open conversation about
what is sex in a positive light, or sexual
relationships, to be able to put it out
there. As a Christian university, part of
our responsibility is guiding and reeducating our students to Christian morals
and values, including education relating
to sexuality. As a Christian institution, we
want to be intentional about encouraging our students to have open conversations about the positive, God-given and
intended nature of sexual relationships.
And so, it is important to guide and
instruct our students to act thoughtfully
and responsibly."
And when students choose to
engage in sex, Dean Robinson assures
that the conversation will always be one
of openness and willingness to help, ultimately leading to the Christian ethic and
ideal, We still offer them the resources
to guide them to that ideal, the Counseling Center, certain programs and initiatives on campus, and discussion. She
maintained that the office of Student
Life deals with each and every case on
its own merit, and relates to each person
involved with dignity and sensitivity.
Dean Robinson further emphasized
that when Student Life advises students,
they consider them as a whole person
with the power of choice. La Sierra
Student Life Department focuses on
spiritual growth and maturity, which is a
critical step to a fulfilling Christian experience. What is key when analyzing sexual issues is developing an understanding
of who we are intended to be spiritually
first. When students make decisions, the
aim is that afterwards, God will grant
them a sense of peace, knowing that
their actions were within His will.

Nevertheless, there will always be

many that do not adhere to the ethic
and would argue for their side and call
for change. So, in response to possible
change toward the Christian ethic, Dean
Robinson responded in favor of healthy
caution and vigilant consistency, There
are certain things that we will not bend.
We will always give people the power of
choice, but there would probably never
be a point and say, okay, youre right.
Because in our position, we have seen
the devastation of students who really
stray from that ideal, end up in a way
that is really badissues with a partner,
themselves, and depression. So what
happens when they deal with that reality, and students say, this is who I want
to be, this is what I want, more than not,
we deal with students and those issues.
Just because the way that we look at
things change, I dont think the ideal
should change. We have a God that
does not change His ways and purposes
of love for His children."
Sexual Dilemmas
Yet still, beyond this ethic, when an
individual that has grown up knowing
that sex should only be for marriage, he
or she may feel a sense of wonderment
toward sex that still exists. Many things
drive one to consensual premarital
sex: Curiosity, natural hormonal urges,
overwhelming feelings and emotions,
and often times, a lack of a meaningful
conversation.
At this stage in life, college students
thirst for fun. When we hear a rule that
poses a threat to the euphoria, we find
a way around itor in some instances,
straight through. This leaves the college
demographic, particularly within the
Christian community, without a solid
way forward on how to navigate the
realities of sex.
What may be needed is less of the
traditional Adventist or Christian ideal
and more a pragmatic sense that drives

the conversation about sex, rather than

a moralizing tone. As opposed to a
dominating ideal, Sex could be talked
about in a culturally contextualized and
rational manner that is mindful of the
problems in the society of today and in
the ancient world of the Biblical writers.
Sex and Tradition
To help us understand this notion,
we turn to Dr. Wonil Kim, Associate
Professor of Old Testament Studies at
the HMS Richards Divinity School. When
asked about the practicality of our
existing Christian ethic toward sex, he
responded, If ones view of human sexuality is based on a foundational theory,
meaning, there is some cosmic foundation that gives meaning and definition to
sexuality, and therefore, within Christian
traditions, that it comes from God, therefore it becomes absolute. Therefore, for
some people, the question of practicality
may be as irrelevant as, Is law against
murder practical? Because prohibition
of murder is not just a question of practicality, it is an absolute category.

Dr. Kim went on to explain the

common Christian view of marriage as
a sacrament, or, a religious rite that is
observed with a sense of sacredness.
The common view of marriage and sex
is that both are sacraments, both are
significant observances of faith in Christianity. Therefore, if one were to have sex
outside of marriage, this would contradict the sacramentality of it all. Since
sex and marriage are both sacraments,
they are inseparable and cannot be done
separately. That is the common Christian
ethic, one that our University adheres to.
And if one were to stray from such
an ethic, Dr. Kim says, You have to make
your decision and be willing to live with
the [social] consequence. So, if you and
your partner may believe that you are
truly committed and you will consummate that commitment in sexual act
and consider that sacrament, and you
dont need institutional sacramentality
to validate it. If thats your conviction, I
would respect that as your choice and
decision. Nevertheless, such actions
come with its fair share of setbacks. I
would say to the couple, you have to be

If there is ever to be
a sexual ethic that
exists to inform in
directness, openly
work with, and fully
address the realities
of sex, this method
and mode of thinking
may be scooting ever
closer. It is a way
of thinking that is
founded on the principles of our campus
in seeking, knowing,
and serving.
10

ready to live with the social and communal consequences. Because the community will not agree with you. And to what
extent does the community count for the
integrity of your authentic existence, you
have to make that decision.
We are all communal social beings,
but it does not mean that we are all
totally submerged and totally submissive to everything society takes. We
are always selective, and this is one of
those areas where we have to make that
choice and be willing to live with the
consequences, says Dr. Kim.
Whether you do it outside or inside
the institution of marriage, you have to
feel whole; own the act as your truth,
and be responsible to yourself, your
partner, and your community says Dr.
Kim. And while we are communal beings, sex and sexuality are also extremely
personal.
If there emerges among the new
generation a question of individual
choices on this matter that may potentially challenge the traditional views and
the communal codes, Dr. Kim believes it
should be openly addressed at all levels
within the community.
Any theological, doctrinal, philosophical issue is subject to constant
revision, constant reevaluation. We may
at the end of such conversation and
reaffirm what we have held on to, or we
may come up with a different formula.
But I think there is an intrinsic danger in
thinking that everything we have been
saying is final. In all aspects of life, we
always need to be open for further dialogue. Whether it be a theology of sex
and sexuality, or any other theology, say
Dr. Kim.
This may seem to be quite radical to a consensus that lives under the
traditional Christian ethic of the campus
community. The hypothetical questions
that inform such skepticism include, If
God spoke to writers of the Bible, isnt it
all absolute? Gods word is final! Where is
the danger there? If God never changes,
how can our ethics change?
In addressing these concerns, consider a brief history lesson from Dr. Kim.
He says that it is vital for any individual
to realize that reevaluation is very true all
throughout Biblical tradition. Dr. Kim explains that if you look at culture, history,
and context, the Bible we have is a long
history of constant revaluation of the tradition that each generation has received.
For every generation, in ancient Israelite
culture, they always dealt with what they
received from a previous generation.
They did not simply adhere to it and bow
down, giving it absolute authority. They
would wrestle with these traditions and
would try to make sense out of it in their
own new situation. These people of the
Biblical cultures dialogued rigorously

with the tradition they had received, and

they came up with a new tradition, one
that would become text. And that is the
Biblical pattern. Adventism was born
within a similar pattern, spurring from
such reevaluation for the question, Why
has Jesus not come? So we are still trying to reevaluate that question, among
many others, today within the Adventist
church. So, Dr. Kim asks, why should sex
be an exception?
It is always healthier to reexamine
everything that we have held on to, then
to be stagnant. Thats my general belief.
A question on sexuality is no different, Dr. Kim asserts. People may feel
uncomfortable about that, because they
feel we may end up desacramentalizing
sex and marriage. I would not worry
about that. I would rather look at it as an
opportunity of re-sacramentalizing in a
new situation.
And how does that process happen?
We leave that answer to the process of the dialogue. The process may
well reaffirm what we have. Or it may
give us a new insight that would lead us
into a new path that would enrich what
we have. What is essential in such a process is the openness to surprises instead
of pushing ones agenda, whatever the
agenda may be. If we believe the Holy
Spirit to be part of such a process, then
we have nothing to fear says Dr. Kim.

While the process is still unclear, we

can turn to other sacraments that were
once considered absolute and beyond
any form of change. Take marriage for
instance. Marriage used to be an absolute sacrament. God intended for two
individuals to commit in a monogamous
relationship, and this commitment was
supposed to last until deatheven if
it meant weathering unhealthy relationships, domestic abuse, volatile
exchanges, and incompatible partners.
The sacrament, or the ethic, as we knew
it, was untouchable. However, today,
people are divorcing while still remaining faithful to God. Divorced individuals
are accepted in churches, along with
remarried peoples, some experiencing a
second marriage, others a third, or even
a fourth. And so, while there is always a
relationship between practice and sacrament, each are not absolutes.
A Colorful Conversation
Still, there is healthy, cautious opposition to such openness toward change
that exists within this community. Contrarily, there are also those that have expressed distaste for the current Christian
expectation on sex, all together. As one
male respondent to the online survey
responded, I think abstinence is a naive
dream. We are sexual beings who desire
sex.

In such a situation of dissonance,

the easy thing to do is to point fingers.
Its our Christian ethics fault! Its our
universitys fault! Its societys fault! Its
my partners fault! Its sex and sexual
desires fault!
Daniel Nyirady, a clinical therapist
at the La Sierra University Counseling
Center approaches such statements of
inner conflict and sexual struggles from
students on a regular basis. There are
many reasons why abstinence makes
good sense. There are also many reasons why students choose to engage in
sexual activity, he says. My goal when
students come in to talk about issues
with sex or sexuality is the same as it is
for any issue - to assist the student to
thoroughly explore their experience, to
evaluate all the options available and to
make the choice that they feel will serve
them and those they are in relationship
with the best.
The questions that frequent the office of Nyirady are honest starting points
for those that are searching for an understanding of their sexual identity and
sex itself. Common questions include
the following:

Is it possible to separate your emotions

from sex?

I am still friends with my ex-boyfriend.

He keeps pressuring me to have sex. I
know I shouldn't but I do enjoy it. What
should I do?
Why does the school care whether I am
sexually active or not?
I plan on getting married someday.
Will being sexually active now affect
my marriage sexual relationship in the
future?
I'm having a hard time stopping myself
from watching porn online and masturbating. I feel like it's affecting me in a
negative way. I'm thinking about sex all
the time. I'd like to stop. What can I do?
I am haunted by memories of a very
negative sexual experience. How can I
get these thoughts out of my head?
I'm attracted to women but there is no
way I can "come out." My family will
freak. And I'm afraid my friends will
creep out if they know I'm a lesbian. I
don't know if I can take that kind of
rejection.

While the conversation may be full

of opposing views, clashing ideals, and
diverse realities, there is still room for
personal exploration and the personal
space to make a choice. I believe the
most helpful conversations are those
that explore the personal meanings
entwined with one's sexuality and the
reasons why one does or does not engage in sexual activities, says Nyirady.
Dr. Kim and Dean Robinson would
agree with this sentiment expressed by
Nyirady: there is great importance in the
individual.
For both, the decision of the person
should result in what Dean Robinson defines as spiritual growth, or a sense of
peace with the decisions made. Dr. Kim
would call it soul integrity, which means,
Right here in this moment that God
has given me as a Gift, am I maximizing
its value or am I participating in the act
that deteriorates the value of this very
moment? Or, do I feel whole about what
I am doing?
If there is ever to be a sexual
ethic that exists to inform in directness,

12

openly work with, and fully address the

realities of sex, this method and mode of
thinking may be scooting ever closer. It
is a way of thinking that is founded on
the principles of our campus in seeking,
knowing, and serving. And perhaps in
this knowing, there can be an end to
negative realities of sex that plague our
community and society at large, overly
extensive sex, rape, sexual abuse, STDs,
HIV, AIDs, and molestation. As victims
of these realities, change is forthcoming.
In hopes of intriguing possible
dialogue, consider the bottom-line
questions, as Dr. Kims highlights them,
Instead of asking, what is the rule to
be, ask, who am I? What am I being?
And what am I becoming to myself, to
my partner, to the world, and to God?
How do I understand and perceive my
integrity and to what extent do I allow
community to dictate it? What extent
do I maintain my own independence
from the community and how do I live in
harmony?

I believe the most helpful

conversations are those
that explore the personal
meanings entwined with
one's sexuality and the
reasons why one does or
does not engge in sexual
activites.

SEX
TALK
We asked you to tell us your sexual
experiences and what you think about
premarital sex. The responses were
not overwhelming in number, but those
that did contribute were far from subtle.
Those that had the audacity to stand
up and talk about sex did so with a bold
voice, one that matters, as with all voices
here on campus. Some upheld the
traditional Christian ethic of sex, calling
for the benefit of abstinence. Others
pitted themselves against tradition and
expressed a serious desire to find a
sexual preference and a sexual identity.
Like you would with a friend or another
college peer, try and lend an ear (or
eye) and listen closely. Respect their
openness, their courage to be vulnerable,
and most importantly, their value of
honestyrevealing truth.

Never had it but cant wait to one day experience with that
special someone!
I first had sex when I was 14. I've had positive sexual
experiences with partners in serious relationships for
1year+. I think that sex is something people need to do
before marriage. I believe that sexual compatibility, and the
ways that a relationships dynamics can change after sex,
are things that people should be aware of before getting
married. (I am born and raised Adventist)
Sex isn't bad. It's good, in fact it's great! It's what God
made in order for his creation to procreate and bond. Not
to mention sex is like a sixth sense. Besides the sight, the
touch, the feel, the taste, and the smell, sex is what unites
two human beings heart and soul. I would dare to call it
a spiritual sense. Which is why it should be something so
absolutely private and special, between two forever! (as
cheesy as that sounds, it's the truth.) I have noticed people
go one way or another about such topic. You have some
people that think sex is repugnant, or at least that's what
they have been instilled. By "repugnant" I mean sex is all
about the "flesh" and the flesh is weak. So, if you want a
relationship with God you must stray away from those "flesh
calling desires". How unfortunate. I don't think God could
have made it more clear, he created sex, he never abolished
it. Then you have the "YOLO" peeps. Why not experience sex
with multiple people right? I mean how could you possibly
marry someone without "knowing" if you like them in bed. If
you are with someone just because of the sex, well that my
friends is a different story. God didn't speak of abstinence
to control you, to force you "to wait", to make you feel
guilty if you were to have sex. He simply cares. He cares so
much. I don't care how many people brag about having sex
and not feeling any emotions towards the other person.
It's psychologically proven that human beings are affected
and influenced by their experiences. God would hate to see
you hurt, heartbroken, anxious, insomniac, depressed, and
feeling worthless all in response to what he created for you!
He created it so that you may feel fulfilled, blessed, and
happy, but at it's right time! So you may be wondering why
I believe sex should be between only two individuals? I am
not married, yet. So how would I know that sex is great?
Let's just say after a three year relationship (sexually active)
that didn't end well. Everything went downhill. I was broken,
hurt, anxious, insomniac, and confused. Then I understood. It
was never God's plan to condemn me for my actions. He just
wanted to protect me, he wanted me to be patient. The last
thing he wanted was for me to go through such pain, such
grief, I literally felt like half of me was gone! But it happened.
Still he was there for me. Please, don't let his love and
grace be an excuse for being impatient. After all, true love
is patient. And sex, sex is a beautiful thing but like it says in
the bible, their is a due time for everything. And truth is, you
shouldn't even be asking yourself if your ready to have sex
when your personal identity is nothing but a blurry distant
thought. Find out who you are in God, seriously. Who are
you? God will take care of the rest. This, this is what I think
about sex.
My first sexual experience was awful, I was manipulated into
having sex. I felt nothing because I didn't want to be there.
Now a days I don't like having sex, personally I try to avoid. I
think it's the person decision to have sex or not. I haven't had
sex with a girl yet but I want to
Personally, I've never had sex. Everyone always assumes
I have because of the way I dress, or the way I look, or
because I can talk to anyone without reservations. I've
always wanted to save myself for marriage, and I intend
to do so. My current boyfriend and I are on the same
page. We both want to wait until marriage, but all my past
relationships, my boyfriend would push me to go further. I
always had self control then, but to be honest, if my current
boyfriend pressured me now, I don't think I would be able to
say no . . .
14

I love participating in BDSM (bondage, discipline,

sadomasochism) and no one would ever guess because I'm
the bubbly modest Christian girl that goes to church every
Sabbath. There's something about this type of sex that is
wild and exhilarating; I love it because it's so different from
my day to day life.
I fully believe that exploring my sexuality has made me into a
more confident and satisfied person. As long as the sex that
I'm thinking about participating in is safe, I'm very open to
exploring it even further. I don't think that abstaining from
sex is the answer, but rather choosing your partners carefully
and approaching it with open communication.
I feel like it is important to wait until you're married - or at
least I feel that it is ideal. But I also feel that it causes people
(like myself) to want to get married for the wrong reasons.
I feel like (some of) those who have waited to engage in
intercourse think "I can't wait to get married so I can have
sex" and then get married in a rush/with the wrong mindset.
I was in a long term relationship. we talked about marriage
seriously and I know that that influenced my choice to want
to get married. (Luckily) we broke up, but it makes me think
that premarital sex causes you to want to get married for
more solid reasons. I have waited to engage in intercourse,
because I have waited this long - it might as well be with
my spouse. I would also like to be with someone that has
waited and if I don't wait, then it ruins my chances of that
happening. But I feel like the longer I wait, the more it would
influence my decision to marry the next person I'm in a
serious relationship with. #torn
Note: We engaged in oral/hand/fingering/BJ/HJ/etc but
no penetration - mostly because of risk of conception and
because we figured we might as well wait since we were
planning to get married within a year or two. I masturbate a
lot, so that helps.
My sexual experiences have varied greatly. My first time was
awkward and weird looking back. I was 16 and she was my
first serious girlfriend. It was more or less us discovering
where things went and what felt good. It was new to both
of us and we both were extremely nervous. I had always
been borough up knowing that sex before marriage was
bad but at the same time I really wanted it because I was a
16 year old guy. I cant really say my first time was terrible
but it was nothing compared to things I have done more
recently. Im now 25 and much more experienced, for better
or for worse, in my sexuality. Sex to me is like anything else
in this world; you get better at it the more you practice. Im
not saying you should have sex all the time with anyone
so you can get better at it. What Im saying is that to really
enjoy sex you have to be willing to try new things and make
mistakes in order to improve yourself and learn about what
you like. whether we should be having sex or not is really a
personal decision. There is always going to be a disconnect
between what we should be doing and what we are doing.
My question is more about if we are teaching the right way
(safe sex, dangers of promiscuity, emotional boundaries)
to have sex instead of if we should be having sex. Because I
think abstinence is a naive dream. We are sexual beings who
desire sex.
Premarital sex is okay because the line Christianity has
drawn is very outdated. If you think about it, Christianity is
thousands of years old. It was basically founded in a time
where things were very primitive and society was controlled
by man. Looking at it more so from a historical perspective,
it looks like men didnt want women to promiscuous.
Relating more to now, if there is more of an open view of sex,
where people are educated, they can control it better. When
people have to surpass sex, there is a very small percentage
of our population that force sex, through rape. There should
be a balance, and more knowledge into how each person
thinks about sex. It shouldnt be definitive, No sex before
marriage. It should be this special, sacred thing, that doesnt
need to exist within marriage, as long as its consensual and
passionate and that you love each other. It is nothing freaky.
It is normal.

//interview

daniel perez

Earlier this month, we had a chance to sit down and talk with the president of PRISM, Daniel Perez. PRISM is an unofficial club
on campus, an established advocate and voice of our own LGBT community. In his conversation with the Criterion, Daniel
voiced the many perspectives of the LGBT community and their place within the Christian community and society at large.

16

Criterion: How did you come to be

president of the Prism club?
Daniel: I was introduced to PRISM last
year at the beginning of Spring Quarter
by one of my friends, and I spoke with
Rebby (the former president of PRISM).
And she was graduating and she really
wanted someone to keep pushing the
envelope, and I said I was willing to do it.
I knew when I came to Las Sierra, God
had a plan for me, because I did not plan
on coming to a Christian University. I
grew up in a Christian academy. I liked
it, but I needed that break just because
being LGBT and Christian, youre sometimes forced with a choice, and it gets
really hard and it strains your relationship with God. You know how people
talk, Gay people are going to hell! But
God sent me to La Sierra, and things just
fell into place. I said, God I know you
have a plan for me, so, Im going to roll
with it.
So, I noticed that on PRISM Facebook
page, the about section lists the groups
purpose as dedicated to bringing
awareness of the LGBTQ community,
breaking myths, learning more about the
LGBTQ history, and getting involved with
other universities and schools. Now
thats what the official PR information
says. I want to know what you say. In
your eyes and from your heart, what is
the main driving purpose of PRISM?
The main driving purpose of PRISM is to
provide a place where LGBT people can
go to and have open conversation in a
Christian environment, because theres
a lot of places that LGBT people can
go to. University of California Riverside
has an LGBT resource center, Cal State
San Bernardino, and theyre open to the
public, but its not Christian and they
arent focused more on Christian values.
For example, if I were to propose a Sabbath walk at one of these places, they
would think Im crazy! The topic of God

and being Christian, while being LGBT

is not received too well in other places,
because of what Christianity has said
about the LGBT community, excluding them. PRISM is also for allies and
non-allies to come and kind of see what
being LGBT is, and I think that is kind of
misconstrued here.
Also in the About section, the informational excerpt lists reference to the
community of non-heterosexual individuals not as LGBT, which is what the
public conventionally hears, but LGBTQ.
In the cover photo, it is listed as LGBTQIA. What is the meaning of those extra
letters at the end? Why the Q and the
IA?
So, I know that it is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender; Q is Questioning
, or Queer, I can stand for Intersex and
A could be Asexual.
Lets refer, again, to PRISMs aims and
goals. Among them is breaking myths.
What are some myths about the LGBTQ
community that are swirling around our
society and our community that you and
your club are working to break? Heres
your chance to settle all of this nonsense, once and for all! Go for it.
Myth #1: If you are LGBT you are excessively promiscuous, or that you are
promiscuous at all. I know many LGBT
people that dont participate in sexual
activity. And when others think about
heterosexuals and hes a male, they
think, Oh, hes probably checking me
out! But when you look at other peoples lives, just because you are straight,
that doesnt mean you are attracted to
every girl. It kind of sucks that they put
us in this bracket that says, You are sex
driven people. Its sad when people
think thats what defines us as LGBT.
Sex, being a part of every other demographic, such as with heterosexuals,
its just a side note, not something that

defines you.
Myth #2: You cannot be LGBT and
Christian. That hurts my heart, because
I know some people that walk away
from Christianity because of what other
people tell them and what they hear
from others. To me, if God is the most
loving Creator that we know him to be,
that having Him in your life is so free
and that it makes everything better, its
really sad that everyone cant have Him.
Also, to say that you cant be LGBT and
Christian, youre forcing people to have
this choice, which is really difficult. Its
like telling someone, you have to choose
between heterosexual and loving God.
Its a part of you; its not something
that you can choose. Its different from
choosing between stealing or loving
God, because that is a choice. Its something that you can say, Yes or No to, not
something that you are. Ive seen the
strongest relationships with God in LGBT
people. One of my friends has been told
that he can't have God and that God will
never love him. It's forced him to dig
deeper in the Bible and to dig deeper in
his relationship with God. You look at
him and you say, That guy has God with
him, wherever he goes, and he touches
peoples lives. And those are two basic
things for me personally: LGBT people
are sex driven people, for that is definitely not true. And you cant be LGBT
and have a relationship with God.
All right, so moving on to some other
things people say, pretty habitually.
Youve heard it all before, man, thats
gay. Thats so gay, Are you gay, or
something? All of these phrases exist
in normal conversation amongst people
here on campus and in the greater
society, and they typically hold negative
connotations. We all grew up around
such talk amongst peers. What do you
think about these statements? Do you
find them offensive? Should we approach them lightheartedly? Are they
just jokes that should be laughed at?

Should we take them seriously as deepseeded problems in our minds? Do they

breed hate and separation? What do
you think?
Personally this question is hard for me,
just because I was raised in a family and
around friends that use the phrases,
Man thats gay, Dude, thats gay, and
it has become a part of how I speak. I
think the more that I realized this hurts
people, the more I realized that its never
toward something thats cool or awesome and amazing, but its usually to
something that is abnormal, or kind of
sucks. So personally, I have stopped
using it, because you never know when
you are around someone and he, or she
doesnt know where theyre at in life,
and one thing can push them over the
edge. And if saying, Man thats super
gay, makes them feel a little worse
about themselves, it will kind of push
them over. You dont want to be that
person to push them over. Having to
hear those stories, I heard so many that
have thought of suicide, attempted
suicide, attempted suicide and actually
killed themselves, and others who just
planned it in their head. Its the little
things that get to our head, each day,
and eventually it will push them over the
edge until they cant take it each day. So
personally, I would like to see that word
being stopped. Because if we use history and we refer to certain words in the
African American community, and the
White community, we know that they
carry deragatory connotations. And
today, people say it, and we are at a loss
because we wonder, Can we just say it
openly? Can only certain people say it?
To me, any words that carry on a negative connotation toward a certain demographic, or words that are denigrating
to a certain race or demographic, we
shouldnt use them at all.
So, as are a part of the LGBTQ community, that is also within a Christian
community, here at La Sierra University.
How do you feel the LGBTQ community
has been received here on campus and
in the greater Christian community?
On campus, its been mixed. Ive heard
of people that stick up for LGBT people,
saying, Theyre no different from the
rest of us, why do we treat them like a
different species? Why are we mean to
them? Theyre just as human as the rest
of us. But then Ive seen the people
who are in the middle, who feel that as

long as someone doesnt act gay, then

they are cool. On the more extreme
side, some say, They [gays] are not
going to heaven; they cant be loved by
God, they are an abomination. It is sad
because I dont think there is enough
people on the defending side for LGBT
people, standing up to those that try to
put them down. There arent enough
people like that on campus to offset the
comments that put them down, such as,
Youre going to hell.
I had the opportunity to watch a screening of the film Seventh-Gay Adventists
directed by Daneen Akers and Stephen
Eyer. In the film, some of the gay individuals in the film expressed feelings
of initial fear during their experience
of sexual discovery. Do you regularly
have members during your meetings
that express such sentiments? Do some
people that youve met feel separated,
like an outsider, or having the fear of
judgment or rejection? Take us into the
reality of such sentiments that people
have expressed to you.
People have expressed to me at different stages of their coming out, because
its not just a single event, it is a long
process. Throughout the stages, one
thing is reoccurring: I dont want to be
judged; I dont want to be hated. They
dont want to be judged or hated by
their family. Because when you come
out as LGBT, it is really nerve wracking.
You dont know what your family is going to say. No matter how awesome you
think your family is, its really a toss up.
What they say can really hurt you. Ive
seen people kicked out of their homes,
disowned, have been told, youre dead
to me for coming out. This is what
is really sad: When people come out,
they are at their most vulnerable place.
Because when one comes out, you
could have people that are on board
and people that are off board. A lot of
people that I know have lost loved ones
and friends after coming out.
On a personal note, I remember when
I came out. Since junior high, Ive had
this really large group of friends. It was
hard because I didnt know what they
were going to say. And I just remember
when I told one of my friends, she came
up to me two weeks later and said, I am
sorry that I was so quiet when you told
me, but I just think its so sad because
youre such a good Christian, youre such
a good guy, and youre nice to everyone
18

you meet, but its sad that youre not going to heaven. And thats the thing that
a lot of people experience, especially if
youre LGBT and Christian, I feel like you
can lose so much.
Now, I am not sure if you are comfortable with this next question, and you can
tell me if youre not, but it will dig a bit
into your personal life. How did you realize your sexual identity and realize that
you are not a heterosexual individual?
And when did you decide to come out?
If youre willing to, explain this important
portion of your life.
I knew I was gay when I was in the first
grade. I remember my first crush. It
was nothing sexual, I just really liked
this other guy in my class. We played
Pokmon with each other. A group of
us would go and beat each other up and
pretend we were Pokmon. But I just
knew I was different. I remember when
my dad and other male family member
spoke, especially when it was about
women, they would say, Man shes hot!
Man this girl. I asked my dad, Why do
you guys always do that. He responded, Well, thats just what guys do. And
if you dont, then youre gay. Are you
gay? I told him no, but inside, I realized
that I really was. I didnt tell anybody
for a long time. I kept it very secretive. I remember telling my best friend
during Freshman year of high school,
and after that, I didnt say anything until
my Freshman year of college when I
was at a public school. I saw all these
people that were really open and really
accepting, and I realized it was time
for me to accept myself, because this
battle between my Christian identity and
myself has just been too hard. So thats
when I started coming out to the rest of
my friends, my parents, and my fraternity brothers at Cal State. That was a
very important part of my life, because I
realized that people could love me, just
for me. There were some people that
were questionable at first, but I didnt
have to experience what many of my
fellow LGBT people have had to experience, where they were kicked out of the
house, where their friends just stopped
talking to them. Honestly, I think God
put the friends that I have in my life and
He put them there early on, because
that was a hard period in my life. Not
only was this going on, but a lot of family issues were going, as well. It was just
difficult, but God showed His mercy and
He put the right people in my life, and

thats sort of how I dealt with it.

So, as you know, this Criterion magazine
issue is exploring the sexual perceptions
on campus, as well as the sexual expectations that we function under. Among
these expectations is the Christian ethic.
The ethic states that sex, as a gift from
God, should not exist before or outside
of marriage. Also, within Christian tradition, particularly on the SDA statement
page, online, it says that sexual intimacy
belongs only within the marital relationship of a man and a woman. This was
the design established by God at creation. The Bible makes no accommodation for homosexual activity or relationships. Sexual acts outside the circle of
a heterosexual marriage are forbidden.
Youve heard it all before, and I dont
mean to get too deep into theological
arguments, and in no way am I trying to
trap you with some crazy question to
get you to contradict yourself. However,
what do you feel about such a stance?
Its the official stance of this Christian
community; its a stance that uses Jesus
in their argument of opposition, the
same Jesus that you, and all gay Christians pray to, worship, and love. What
is your initial, visceral response to all of

this, and secondly, how do you find it

possible to come to terms with such a
straightforward stance that holds dissonance and opposition toward a part
of your identity and the identity of many
other individuals, a part of you that they
[the church] call a sin?
I think the actual stance to what you just
said is suffocating and there is no room
for questioning. You either take it as
it is, or you dont. For me personally, I
dont believe in premarital sex. I believe
you should wait for marriage and have
that connection, because its not just for
procreation. Sex is a deeper connection
that you share with the one you love,
and it should happen during marriage.
There are a lot of psychological things
that happen when you have sex with
multiple people. To me, its a slippery
slope. Its kind of shaky with the subject
of homosexuality and marriage, so its
hard to fit the sexual ethic inside the
conversation. To me, I think that LGBT
people should be held to the same standards as heterosexual people. You wait
until you have that one special person.
And then thats who you can have that
deep connection with.

I think the stance is once sided. It was

made by people who might not have
had contact with LGBT people, and they
simply read and interpret things.
How I deal with it personally, we all have
one Bible, but from this one Bible, we
all it interpret it differently, hence the
many denominations within the religion
of Christianity. Although that I am a
Seventh-day Adventist, there are certain
parts that I dont agree with, such as
their stance on homosexuality. I came to
terms with it through struggle. I heard it
from my parents that I need to be a celibate and I cant have a relationship at all.
I went through a lot of prayer and a lot
of crying. I was very confused and its
hard when you dont have a lot Christian
support. And mind you, being Christian
is as much a part of me as being a part
of the LGBT spectrumI will not let
either go. I spoke to a lot of pastors; I
read a lot of online exegesis of the Bible,
trying to get my answer from scripture,
seeing what was happening at that time
in history. I realized that I have to let
that go, because there is always going
to be different views when it comes to
scripture, and I cant get that unanimous
vote saying that this is totally how it is.
I have my own truth, but more impor-

tantly, I feel that God showed his truth

to me. Amidst all of the family struggles
and relationship struggles with teachers,
friends, and pastors, I realized that I am
asking the wrong people, and I need to
be asking God. I know that when people
pray, most do not believe in miracles and
that God shows himself, but, I know this
sounds crazy, when I say that God gave
me the most peace Ive ever felt in my
life, I am not lying. After all the questioning, asking God, Why this? Cant
you give me something else to struggle
with, I realized that I am going to hold
myself to the same standards that my
fellow heterosexual church members
have. I am not going to have premarital
sex. I am going to wait for that one person that I believe that God will put into
my life and we will go from there.
This summer was huge in regard to
legalities, the Supreme Courts decision
to overturn Californias Proposition 8. I
want to know what you think about that.

It was obviously a huge day of celebration. If the federal government could

recognize this, then hopeful it could take
off from there. What do you think about
the whole sociopolitical sphere toward
homosexuality and the LGBT community?
I think that were progressing a lot, and
I think some people expect things to
progress exponentially. But if you look
throughout history, things take time,
and for me being a part of organizations
since I was young, things really do take
time. I takes a lot of influencing and
opening peoples eyes to different possibilities and different views. I think that
we are progressing, and obviously faster
would be nice, but I am not worried in
terms of the LGBT community in the
United States. There are certainly other
things in the world that are worse.
When you think back in American
history, being a part of the LGBT com-

20

munity, they thought you were mentally

ill. Personally, I am happy that there is
a separation between church and state.
I am not expecting the church to accept gay marriage, but on the federal
level, with all the benefits that married
couples receive; gay marriage needs to
be on that level. They [the government
officials] dont abide by our religion,
they should give us a choice and they
shouldnt force others. If God, our creator gave us a choice, why cant they? I
am extremely behind the separation of
church and state, because if another religion were to come in and dictate what
we do in the US, that would be terrible.
We can have our own faith, our own
church, and its great. But there needs to
be a boundary.
There are some government officials that
have inferred the argument of saving the institution of marriage, which
implies keeping marriage only between
man and women. What would you say

to them, if given a chance to speak to

them?

that will help you with your relationship

with God and with others.

I would say that its sad. We are at a point

where divorces seem to outnumber the
amount of people that get married. We
are at a point where you can go down to
Vegas and get marriage after a belligerent night. There are people that get
married and after twenty-four hours, and
they realize its not for them. I think its
sad that so much time and money are put
inside this Christian shield that wants to
save marriage. They put all this effort
and money in keeping people from marrying the one they love. As Christians, we
could be doing so many better things that
we can place our time, money and effort
on. The LGBT people in Russia that are
getting beat up, burning a gay individual
in Uganda, or people starving across
the world, why dont we help them? We
already do some things similar to this, but
if we could do more, like helping Gods
children, rather then keeping people apart
and adding to segregation. I know that
Christians are not perfect and I acknowledge that not every looks to hate gays,
but I believe there are things that we
should all agree onsaving lives, helping
them, being a light to the world, using our
opportunities here in the US to aid others,
rather then keeping people away, both
straight and LGBT. It is a hard subject.

As the president of PRISM, and as a
leader for the LGBTQ community, what
would you like to say, first, to someone
who may be struggling with his or her
sexual identity, second, to someone who
is still struggling with acceptance of gay
individuals, and third, to a person that
simply looks to help and be an ally to your
cause?

To the person struggling with accepting us, I know that its hard. Whether or
not you are influenced by Christianity or
culture, you can never be wrong when
being nice to someone, even if you are
struggling to accept these people. You
can never be too nice. Love them like you
would love anyone else. You dont want
to be that last voice that could end their
relationship with God or to push them
over the edge to end their life, because
they feel unworthy to anyone, no matter what they do. As you struggle with
acceptance, pray hard, and pray that God
will fill you with His light in an unbiased
way, searching for Gods desire. And
while you do all of this, just love as much
as you can.

First and foremost, I want to say that God

loves you, no matter what people say. If
theres anything to not do, it would be to
not let go of faith, because it will bring
you through the hardest issues, whether
regarding the LGBT issue, or not.
Secondly, I would like to say that you are
not alone. There are so many people that
might even walk by you that are going
through the same struggles. Dont feel
like you have to ostracize yourself. Go
talk to someone. If its really something
thats hurting you, go talk to someone.
The counseling center is there, mind you,
its not just for crazy people. There are
people here to help you. Dont ever think
youre alone because there are people

To the person that simply looks to be an

ally or join the cause, come to PRISM.
Show your face and come support. The
biggest help is to not treat people differently, not expecting anymore or any less
of them as a Christian, we are people, just
like you guys. If you want to help, there
are many places that you can go to help,
like PRISM, and we can connect you with
other place and with other people. You
dont have to be hypersensitive. Just be
their friend.

PRISM meets twice a month in Amb's

Hall. For more information, search
PRISM on Facebook or contact them
via email at prism.lasierra@gmail.com.

features

aids
//janellHAYLOCK
Lets flesh it out. This stigmatized
disease that is entirely consuming and
devastating, taking over sense of self,
roughly 2.3 million a year in addition
to a global community of 35.3 million.
In most class discussions we come
close to a sense of sympathy for those
inflicted by the virus, but many times
it is a superficial conversation with no
real purpose. A useless conversation
mentioned for political correctness.
Whats the point of that? For the first
time in my college experience, I sat in
on a sincere lecture about the reality of
the widespread nature of AIDS and how
each one of us is implicated in the fight
against it. Dr. Fritz Guy, the orator, told a
powerful story of a family battling with
AIDS that is quoted below:

In December 1985 there was a

funeral in Lilly [Pennsylvania] for a little
boy named Dwight Burk.
He was just [a] 20 month old.
He had been born prematurely, with
respiratory problems and an enlarged
liver. His tiny body was riddled with
fever, and he was kept alive in an oxygen
tent. Eventually he went home from
the hospitalnot to get well, but to die.
There were just too many things wrong,
and he couldnt make it.
Dwights family on his mothers side
had lived in Lilly for four generations,
and everybody knew about the little boy
who was so sick.
But when he died, not one resident

of the town came to his funeral.

The reason people stayed away
was that Dwights illness was Acquired
Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS)
and the folks in Lilly were afraid of a
family with AIDS.
Dwight got AIDS just by being
bornor, more precisely, just by being
conceived.
He was infected in utero by his
mother, Laurie Burk, but who didnt
know she was infected when she
became pregnant.
She had been infected by her
husband of two years, Patrick Burk, who
had hemophilia and had been treated
for several years with a medication
known as Factor VIII, a distillation of the
clotting agent in blood made from blood
plasma.
Patrick and Laurie Burk had no idea
they were infected with the AIDS virus
until Dwights illness was diagnosed
when he was two months old.
Now they were too sick to work.
Patrick would die of AIDS, and
maybe Laurie too.
The healthy person in the family was
Dwights older sister NicoleLauries
daughter from a previous marriage.
Nicole was blonde, blue-eyed, and
six years old,
Like many other children she lived
in a world of grandparents, school, and
ballet lessons.
But unlike other little girls, she was
forced out of her nursery school by
22

the anxious parents of other children-parents who were afraid their children
would be contaminated by Nicole,
whose brother had AIDS.
Medical tests showed that Nicole
did not have AIDS, and the results
were public information, having been
reported in the local newspaper and on
the radio, but Nicole had to leave the
school anyway.
Happily she was admitted to a Head
Start pre-school program, and then
entered a Catholic kindergarten, where
the priest promised to stand by her,
whatever people might think.
Because of AIDS, Nicole became
familiar with death at an early age. One
day she asked her grandmother, Is
Daddy gonna die? Is Mommy gonna die
too? When they die, can I come and live
with you?
I was curious to find out how
the Seventh-day Adventist church is
entangled in the conversation of AIDS
and sexually transmitted diseases
in general. My preconceived idea
considered a statement from the
General Conference (GC) of the church
mentioning AIDS prevention and
care as methods of reaching out and
evangelism. Indeed, this was essentially
the core of the statements I read online
discussing their stance on the topic, but
what I came across however was a new
realization.

The Seventh-day Adventist church

believes there is biblical evidence
supporting abstinence before marriage
and monogamy after marriage. So, lets
digest this. AIDS is predominately a
sexually transmitted disease, meaning
that most infected persons come into
contact with the virus through sexual
contact of some sort. If you are an
Adventist person, then the GC says
you severely reduce your chances
of infection. Why? Because 1) youre
abstaining from sex before marriage,
and 2) once you do get married, it is an
honest and monogamous relationship.
Sadly, life is messy. Even if you do follow
these guidelines, if your significant other
has had sexual contact with only one
other partner the chances of obtaining a
sexually transmitted disease increases.
Essentially, AIDS shouldnt be a problem
for Adventists. Then, why is it? This
question brings us back to the topic of
sexuality. How do we feel it, embrace it
and express it?
Todays pop culture promotes
evoking emotion into nearly every
conscious decision we make. Emotions
are fickle, changing feelings that
constantly change on a daily basis (if
not hourly) in our lives. How, then, can
we be expected to make right-minded
decisions when looking solely at how
something makes us feel? We cant. This
leads to a huge problem for the youth
of our generation. How can you limit the
emotions brought on by your sexuality
while experiencing fulfilling and happy
relationships? Adventist youth find
themselves either having sex, wanting
to have sex, knowing people that do,
or waiting patiently until marriage
whenever that is supposed to happen.
In church we are given a sermonette on
the black and white stance on premarital

sex: dont do it. There is no discussion

about the reality of sexuality in our
generation and how many of us are
no longer getting married in our early
twenties, but instead we hear rehearsed
answers given to previous generations
that do not face similar societal
pressures.
In coming to the realization that
I would very much like to raise the
question of how La Sierra finds itself
in the conversation of AIDS, I returned
to the person that had impressed me
with the issue from the very start. Dr.
Fritz Guy invited me into his office for a
conversation and we discussed AIDS as
well as sexuality in its general form. Dr.
Guy agreed that there is a fracture in the
method which Adventists approach the
topic of sexuality and discuss it with our
generation, mentioning the formation
of a new club on campus called Prism
supporting LGBTQA (Lesbian, Gay,
Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning,
and Allied) students. During our
conversation we noted how interesting it
is that La Sierra has a club to discuss the
reality of diversity in sexual orientation,
but not one that promotes abstinence
or has a general sex talk conversation.
Without open, full and repeated
discussions about sexuality it is difficult
to maintain an open-minded perspective
when coming in contact with the
reality of AIDS and sexually transmitted
diseases penetrating into the church.
Dr. Guy commented, The first person I
knew who died of AIDS was a member
of La Sierra faculty.
If you doubted it was a problem for
our campus, think again. Being a student
of an Adventist campus with lots of
morality and ideals means nothing about
your sexuality and how you deal with

it on a day-to-day basis. The pandemic

of AIDS is a reality that ignores the
boundaries of religion and morality and
it is worth having a discussion of what is
our duty to those that are infected and
preventing the infection of others.
So what can we do?
As human beings, we can fight
to embrace infected individuals and
maintain an all-inclusive attitude
breaking down stereotypes stemming
from misinformation and ignorance of
the subject. As a Christian campus, we
can begin a conversation that will inspire
us to action, to help our surrounding
community and becoming involved
with the fight against AIDS infection. As
Seventh-day Adventists we must ask the
difficult questions about our sexuality
that make us uncomfortable. Questions
like: why shouldnt I have premarital
sex, why does my religion say its better
for me in the long-run, why is my
generation so obsessed with immediate
sexual gratification?
These are questions and ideas
you have to explore for yourself. Not
your parents, not your pastor, not your
friends, but you. Once you have that
figured out, then you can maintain an
open-minded attitude that does not
seclude those infected by diseases
or those making different choices.
Confidence in your sexuality will allow
you to help others like Nicole bruised by
an ignorant and prejudiced society.
*This feature would have been
impossible without the influence and
information provided by Dr. Guy. The
Criterion staff would like to extend a
word of thanks for his indispensible
input and support.

arts

the sexy lie

//brendaDELFINO
How many lies can you take in one day?
A person living in a city is approximately exposed to 5,000 ads a day according to a research shown by Louise
Story in the New York Times, 2007.
This estimate keeps going up, as media
becomes the center of social interaction.
5,000 times a day media tells you that
beauty, love and happiness comes with
a price. Ads set an unreachable standard
for beauty, and present an impractical
solution in the form of a product. The
saddest part, these multibillionaire companies keep piling billions because we
keep buying into the lie.
The power in advertisement is often
underestimated, because many fail to
understand that Ads sell more than
products, they sell values, images, concepts of love, sexuality, sex, who we are
and who we should be (Jean Kilbourne).
Today ads are not limited to billboards,
newspapers and magazines. They are
now imbedded everywhere through
media. Ads interrupt our TV shows, our
music in the radio and the websites we
visit every day like Facebook, YouTube,
and Twitter. Even the apps that we think
we download for free come with the
price of ads. The unfortunate truth is
that the money these companies pay
to broadcast their ads are what keep
our shows on, our radios alive and our
websites running. So how can we fight
something that benefits us and at the

same time is hurting our ideals about

beauty and sexuality?
Recognizing the problem is step number
one, learning what is at risk is step two,
and informing others is the final and
most important step towards change.
First step: What is the lie that media
sells?
Media wants men and women to
believe that sex sells. If this were true,
we would see just as many half naked
men in ads as we see women. But this is
not the case.
What media is truly selling is the
concept that men are sexual subjects
and women sexual objects. Subjects act
upon, objects are acted upon. Alcohol,
car and perfume advertisements are

a few examples of how media tries to

empower men by convincing them that
if they buy the product they will earn the
complementary object: the sexy, skinny,
superficial girl. Notice how its always
that type of girl and not one with an average body type. That is because media
tries to convince women that their value
is in their physical appearance.
Sexual Objectification
Sexual objectification means treating a persons body as an object for sex.
Focusing only on their physical attractiveness and ignoring other aspects of
the being such as his or her thoughts
and feelings. One way to identify the
use of sexual objectification in media is
when only certain parts of the body are
shown, or when a body is replacing an

"A sex symbol

becomes a thing. I
hate being a thing."
-Marilyn Monroe
24

object, for example, when a womans

body is turned into a bottle of beer or
the curves of a car.
Another more obvious visible lie is
Photoshop. Photoshop is used in every
commercial for clear skin and weight
loss. This might not be news but almost
every celebrity picture found online and
in magazines has gone through digital
enhancement. Flawless beauty is the
first step to unreachable perfection. The
reason why the main target is women
is because statistically they spend the
most money on beauty products. The
pressure for woman to look beautiful is
not an invention of media; it has been
imbedded in our culture for centuries.
In the Victorian Era women would faint
while using tight corsets to achieve the
perfect waist. Today women spend thousands of dollars to achieve this unnatural
perfection. When it is a health issue,
exercising to stay fit is a good idea but
when it becomes an obsession with perfection many women turn to unhealthy
habits, like ingesting dietary products
and poor eating. On average women
spend 15 minutes in front of the mirror
every day, just to put on makeup. They
cut, dye, straighten and curl their hair.
They buy clothes and accessories, they
do their nails and toenails, they use push
up bras, they shave, they wax and go
to great lengths in the name of beauty.

Step Two: How can it hurt to look good?

The concern men and women have
over physical appearance is normal.
Truth is attractive people have distinct
advantages in our society. According
to a researcher observed by Kate Fox
from SIRC, it has been shown that attractive children are more popular both
with classmates and teachers. Attractive applicants have a better chance of
getting jobs and even receiving higher
salaries. In court attractive people are
found guilty less often and are given
less severe sentences. It is seems that
our feelings towards beautiful people is
always positive. What is not positive and
acceptable is the standards of beauty
set by media.
When it comes to physical appearance woman feel highly anxious about
the way they look. When a woman
looks into the mirror, all she sees are her
imperfections. This may be due to the
fact that women have been convinced
that beauty means flawlessness. 8 out
of 10 women are dissatisfied with their
reflection [] and more than half may
see a distorted image (Kate Fox). The
average American woman is 54 tall
and weighs 140 pounds. In comparison
the average America model weighs 115
pounds and is 511 tall. I think you are
starting to see the picture now.

When looks become an obsession they

begin to interrupt with daily activities.
One example is habitual body monitoring. This act is performed by women 10
times every 30 seconds. Habitual body
monitoring involves womens constant
concern for how they look. For example,
when women speak they are also thinking about their leg position, how their
hair looks, and whos actually looking
their way. This act takes up mental
space which affects concentration and
may increase anxiety. Among the varying struggles includes mental disorders
like depression, anorexia, and bulimia.
Media, Sex, and Reality
Media, which appears to have all the
answers about love and sex, gets it all
wrong.
Advertisement uses art to achieve
its message. But we have to be careful
to consider ads as art. Nudity and the
allusion of sex in advertisement can be
harmful because it contains a message
with a hidden agenda, to reach for your
pockets. When nudity and the idea of

sex are expressed by an artist in a painting it has usually nothing to do with

money. The same can be said for graphic
designers and film makers who are in it
for the creation of art.
Media does not help when it portrays sex as something purely physical
and flawless. When a woman is convinced to look perfect 24/7 she will try
to do just that, to the point of affecting her ability to enjoy sex. In the Ted
Talk The Sexy Lie, Caroline Heldman
teaches that body monitoring gets on
the way of good sex. Instead of being
involved, you view yourself from a third
party perspective and you worry about
everything except enjoying the moment.
Celebrities: Marilyn, The Archetype of a
Sex Symbol
Celebrities carry the struggle of
body image in a high dose. Some movie
productions make it clear that casting
is more about looks than acting skills.
The idea is that sexy actors give movies
more revenue. Although this happens,
26

it is not why movies get awards. If this

were true, Marilyn Monroe would have
won a few Oscars. But Marilyn made a
career out of her looks and flirtatious
character. Unfortunately she was never
taken very serious as an actress. Instead
she was a sex symbol. Marilyn was
aware of this and she often expressed
her frustration when people didnt take
her serious. Like she once said, A sex
symbol becomes a thing. I hate being
a thing. To achieve fame Marilyn acted
willingly in adult films and nude photo
shoots. She adopted the character of
a superficial pretty woman. She flirted
with single and married men including
the president of the United States, which
at the time was John F. Kennedy. Everyone watched in approval, women wanting to be her and men wanting to be
with her. But this charade came with a
high price and she was honest and brave
to share it in public. In the Anatomy of a
Sex Symbol Sheila OMalley states that
despite all her marriages and love affairs
Marilyn did not have an orgasm until
the last years of her life. Like she once
shared with her psychiatrist, Speaking
of Oscars, I would win overwhelmingly

if the Academy gave an Oscar for faking orgasms. Marilyn slowly began to
recover with the help of her psychiatrist
but her life ended shortly after, due to a
drug-related incident. In 1962, the year
of her death, Marilyn expressed her
anxieties, I am a failure as a woman. My
men expect so much of me because of
the image they have made of me and
that I have made of myself, as a sex
symbol . . . I cant live up to it.
Marilyn Monroe is the perfect example of a sexually objectified woman
who carried the burden until the last
days of her life. She was not a victim but
a symptom of a society with a dysfunctional perception of beauty. This ugly
truth about Marilyn is often ignored, her
positives aspects left behind and all that
remains is the archetype of a sex symbol, adapted, used and reused.
Not all celebrities fall in the same
trap. There are those who choose to
embrace their natural beauty. Take Titanic actress, Kate Winslet, for instance,
who doesnt allow the media to decide
her weight. She refuses to accept digital

enhancements in her photographs and

when GQ made her look dramatically
thinner in the cover of their magazine
she issued a statement saying that
the alterations were made without her
consent. I dont look like that and I dont
desire to look like that.
Third Step: Spread the Knowledge
Now that weve seen the negative
effects of sexual objectification and the
role media plays, one way we can fight
against it, is by spreading the knowledge
and applying it to our lives. We should
be thoughtful on who we choose as role
models and we should also learn to pick
our battles. We might not be able to defeat these multibillionaire industries and
their advertisement. But instead of staying silent we can learn to point out the
problem and not allow media to dictate
what beautiful means to each one of us.

arts

sexual fantasy
//maxGUTIERREZ
Sex has become a prime objective
in society produced by the media. We
all have our own set of beliefs that may
come from our family and beliefs, but
we also use the media as a reference
as to what is normal in society now.
Television programs, such as Jersey
Shore, show that meeting someone at a
club and having sex with someone new
every night, is a new trend in which is
deemed normal, and possibly cool. Then
we have the romantic films that show
a perfect couple that finds love in the
first glance. Then there is pornography,
which completely alters the entire idea
of sex. There is strict roles of power
and submission, and there is no reality
to their acting. The 2013 film Don Jon
exhibits these three forms of media with
three unique characters that all contain
different social beliefs.
The Blind and Infatuated Man
Jon, played by the actor Joseph
Gordon-Levitt, plays a man who is more
addicted to pornography than he is to
sex. He lives his life through a particular
set of things that are of importance to
him. He cites this list as my body, my
pad, my ride, my family, my church, my
boys, my girls, my porn. Take notice
that each item on his begins with the
word my. He also cites that he loses
himself when watching pornography.
His life is based heavily on routine. He
cleans his apartment and goes to the

gym daily. He goes to church every

Sunday and confesses his sins to a
priest. He also goes to the club, where
he bartends at, and a finds a woman
to take home with him. He is known as
The Don because of his streak of being
with a new woman every night. He also
has a rating system of 1-10, on which
they rate woman based on their sexual
appearance.
When Jon finds his perfect 10,
he submits himself to her and lets her
mold him. He claims to be in love with
her with only after being with her for
a month. Jon never refers to her as a
relationship, but more so as another one
of his objects. This perfect 10 more or
so being his trophy, or greatest prize.
Sex in media is most often displayed as
a competition among men, in which Jon
constantly defends his idea that there is
no girl better than his.
When they have sex for the first time,
Jon still finds that he isnt satisfied and
resorts back to watching pornography,
right after. He stops for a while, but it
doesnt last very long. Jon is addicted
to pornography, but more so the idea
of it. He is addicted to the fantasy of
two people being lost in the ecstasy of
pleasure; a pleasure that he has never
experienced with anyone. Pornography
is how he wishes sex could be for him,
but isnt.
28

The Hollywood Depiction of Beauty

Barbara Sugarman, played by the
actress Scarlett Johansson, is a perfect
10 and is obsessed with romantic films.
She plays hard to get, because shes
looking for a real man, at first. When
she finally finds Jon, it appears that
Barbara's idea of a real man is a mock
up from one of her romantic films; a man
who would do anything and whatever
for their woman.
Barbara abstains from sex to make
sure that this relationship is going to be
serious. She also uses sex as a source of
control, by holding a resource that her
partner wants. She uses this control as a
way to take hold of her partner, to mold
him into the man she wants. Before they
have sex, Barbara gets Jon to integrate
with their family and friends, and
convinces him to start going to school
again. After the first night of school,
Barbara calls Jon and initiates sex, which
is an uncommon trend with sexual
communication. Most often females are
seen as the gatekeepers, and the men as
the initiators.
When Barbara discovers that Jon,
her partner is addicted to porn, she
breaks off the relationship without trying
to work anything out. Jon is extremely
defensive of his addiction, but finally
admits to her that it is a problem. This
still doesnt intrigue Barbara because her

image of a real man and a Hollywood

relationship is dead.
The Wounded Woman with Experience
Esther, played by the actress
Julianne Moore, is a woman who is
trying to rebuild her life after past
traumas. Her husband and child were
both killed in an automobile accident so
she is still suffering with accepting such
a cruel fate. We first see her character
crying as Don Jon passes her abruptly to
get to his class.
The next day, we see that she is also
very confrontational and blatant. Esther
goes to Jon and apologizes for her
crying scene and also points out the fact
that he was watching porn on his phone
in class. Esther spends most of her time
alone, and getting high in her car. She
just tries to befriend Jon, but he tries to
keep Esther at a distance and constantly

reminds her that he has a girlfriend.

Esther is constantly asks Jon why
is he addicted to porn when he can
easily get the real thing. She probes into
his relationships and notices that he is
heavily controlled by his girlfriend. When
Jon breaks up with his girlfriend, they
begin a sexual relationship which Esther
claims was never exactly something she
was looking for. Esther also points out to
him that porn isnt real, it is just acting.
Esther has lived a long life filled with
experiences that shake away most of the
uncertainties in our world. She has lived,
and therefore she knows.
A Realistic Ending
Jon asks Esther about what has
been bothering her and displays an
intrest in someone other than himself for
the first time. They have sex, in which he
cites at his confession the morning after

He is addicted to the
fantasy of two people
being lost in the ecstasy of
pleasure

as a different sort of experience.

Barbara and Jon meet one last time for
the sole purpose of finding closure. It
is a very short meeting, but ends with
Barbara leaving upset. Jon apologizes
for their relationship, but she doesnt
believe it to be enough. He tells her that
she asked him for too much, but Barbara
cant accept that reality.
Finally, we get a montage of Esther
and Jon, just living life together and
making love
In Conclusion
Sex isnt based on our most prized
fantasies, and deepest beliefs. Sex is
a beautiful connection between two
individuals. Jon always looked at sex as
being one-sided, and Barbara has always
looked at romance as being one-sided.
He lost himself in pornography simply
because he was lost in himself and his
own little world. Sex and romance, is not
real, until you lose yourself in someone.
We are selfish people, constantly
thinking about how to control our lives.
Whether its an image you would want
to keep by having sex with random
strangers routinely, or whether you are
trying to find that perfect relationship,
its all the same. Sometimes our fantasies
will always be fantasies, and the reality
can only be found in another. Wouldnt
you rather have something that works,
instead of something that fits?

sports

female fans
//adrianWILSON
Another Sunday, another loss!
That is how I felt while I ate myself into
depression at Buffalo Wild Wings, as the
Redskins take yet another loss for the
season. While I was soaking in defeat, to
my surprise I noticed something that I
have never really thought of before until
that day. It wasnt because I was sitting
there angry and about to explode. It
was not the fact that everybody was
laughing at me because I was wearing
a Redskins jersey. What I noticed was
beyond the game of football.
While I was eating my wings I
noticed a couple next to me watching
the Chargers game. To no surprise the
girlfriend was asking million questions
during the game and the boyfriend was
getting annoyed by all of the questions.
Another guy who was there that was

also watching the game asked the girl

Do you even know who the person is
on the back of your jersey? The girl
told the guy that her boyfriend bought
her the jersey and she just watches the
games to support her boyfriends team.
When the guy heard this, he became
livid and accused her of not being a real
fan of football. So, I started to question,
Do women really like the sport, or is it
all for show?
The next week I went back to the
same place and watched the Redskins
lose yet again another game, which
frustrated me for another week. This
time I was not focused on the game
I was more so focused on the same
couple that was at Buffalo Wild Wings.
While I was analyzing the couple I saw
that the guy was interested in the game,

When a female roots

for a male athelete,
or a male sport, it is
viewed sometimes as
"weird."
30

while the girl was on the phone most of

the time. It clearly looked like she was
not interested in the game at all. As I
was analyzing them I went to go check
on my fantasy football team. The waiter
that was taking my order suggested
that I start a guy from the Cincinnati
Bengals that no one has heard of. She
said he was bound to have a big game.
At first I paid her no attention, because I
thought that she did not know what she
was talking about, but then something
amazing happened. The waiter explained
why I should play this person and she
broke down play-by-play as to why
teams would win that week. I have
to say I was quite impressed by her
knowledge of the game. I almost felt like
she was female version of myself when it
came to football, the only difference was
she was a Chargers fan.
After my encounter with two girls,
I started to raise another question,
How are female fans perceived in the
society we live in now? Through talking
with a few people, I realized that each
individual has different perspectives on
how female fans are represented in this
country. Speaking with one fan at the
restaurant she felt that some women
are born into being a fan of a team. She
told me while she was growing up that
she was always a daddys girl and her
dad always loved football, so she kind of
followed in his footsteps and has been
a fan ever since. She also says growing

up people did not take her seriously as

a football fan because she did not know
everything about the game of football.
She said while rooting for her team
she always felt that she had to defend
herself against men to so that they could
respect her.

wonder how did it ever get to be like

this? When a guy roots for a girl athlete
or a female sport, he is not questioned
or ridiculed by females, but when a
female roots for a male athlete, or a
male sport, it is viewed sometimes as
weird.

Living in this society, women have

had to be second fiddle to men. Is it
fair? Probably not. But in this case, no
one made it a rule for women not to be
a true fan. Some women believe that
they will never be respected as equal
to a man, only because it is viewed
as more reasonable for a man to be a
fan of a team, more so than a woman.
When looking at the word fan it is
automatically characterized with the
word male and that is where the error
lies. With a man, for the most part, he
would never be judged or questioned
by anyone when it comes to rooting
for a team, because society would
automatically put you in a category
that would not need to be questioned.
While growing up, most athletes that are
shown on television are mainly males.
Yeah you have your Serena Williams,
Lindsay Vonn, and your Hope Solos of
the world, but are they looked at like
a Peyton Manning or a Lebron James.
They arent because media has focused
on the male sports far more than the
female sports. So when society looks
at these guys as stepping stones for
the age of sports, it makes you start to

The girl that was with her boyfriend

says that todays world has changed
from back then and that women are not
scrutinized as heavily as they were years
ago. She also states that while women
can be considered fans, men also find it
attractive when women are into sports.
There may be some truth to that, but
I do not think it is totally accurate. The
boyfriend kind of agreed with me; he
feels even though it may be a plus for a
girl to be interested in a sport, the girl
should know about the sport as well.
So what about the women that
actually know about the sport? That
is the answer that was the most
bothersome. The waiter at Buffalo Wild
Wings said that women who pretend
to like a sport makes a bad name for
women that actually love the sport.
There are women out there that love
watching sports and they do not get the
respect that they deserve for watching
it. Some women know more about
sports then guys do, and still wouldnt
get the same respect as the guy that
doesnt have the knowledge. For some
guys that were there, most of them said

that it did not matter whether a fan was

a guy or girl, and that most of the time
they would be treated equally, just as
a guy would. One guy simply said he
would prefer male fans over female fans
because they dont have to hear about
how cute a guy is all the time. Another
said Isnt that what cheerleaders are
for? It was unknown whether or not
this guy was serious or not, but from the
sound of it he might have been.
I think now, for the most part, for
guys it really does not matter if a girl is
a fan of sports, or not. With women in
society, there may still be some work
that can help the society recognize
female fans as equals to men. As the
years go by, I think this matter of female
fanaticism in sports will no longer be an
issue. The truth is, women love sports
just as much as guys do, if not more. We,
as a society, just have to realize it.

religion

desire or love?
//danielPEVERINI
The Impasse
Imagine with me for a moment. Its
late Saturday night, and you are alone
with a person of the opposite sex that
you think is quite attractive. The other
person is pretty in to you, too. But its not
like you are in a serious, committed relationship with the other person. You know
that there is nothing lasting between
you two. Yet here you two are, in a place
where you wont be interrupted if you
decide have sex. It might be fun. Do you
go for it?
Its a toss-up. You might think you
have good reasons to indulge your
desires. Perhaps its been too long since
youve felt intimate with another person,
and you just want that. Maybe you are
bored, and having sex will take away
your boredom for a while. Or you just
want the pure physical pleasure of sex,
the climax, the sheer bodily-ness of it.
But you might also think you have good
reasons to abstain. You might make
another human being that you dont
expect. You could get an STD. University policy tells you that having sex is
grounds for dismissal. Youre a good
Christian, and good Christians dont have
sex outside of marriage. What should
you do?
Clearly we have divided sexual
expectations. As good Christians, we
all say that we dont have sex. Yet as

college students with sex drives reaching

peak levels, many of us do have sex with
one or many partners. There is clearly a
gap between what we say about sex and
what we actually do in our sexual lives.
Almost as soon as the problem
surfaces, it is silenced with an authoritarian purity ethics of one sort or another,
expressed in statements like sex is for
marriage and for marriage only. This
ethics is obfuscating because it ignores
our actual sexual practices. Once we become conscious of the complications of
purity ethics, we might respond with an
ethics of permissiveness, along the lines
of do whatever you will. This ethics is
as equally obfuscating because it ignores
what we say about how we as Christians
should have sex. Both authority ethics
and permissive ethics fail to address the
problem of our divided sexual expectations.
I propose that understanding the
various ways in which we might expect
things (or persons) will help us understand and address our divided sexual
expectations. Desire and love are two
opposing accounts of how we expect. By
considering these two ways of expecting, I hope to illumine the impasse of
divided sexual expectations.
Desire Demands the Desired One by Law
Desire objectifies one desired by
32

treating desired person as a means to an

end. I desire another for reasons external
to the other: s/he is perhaps intelligent,
or incredibly wealthy, or well connected,
or good-looking. By this definition, desire
is a way of expecting that uses another
person for something, and sexual desire
is a way of expecting that uses another
person for my own sexual pleasure.
Desire is illumined by American
theologian Robert Jensons concept of
demand (or the law, as the Lutheran
theological tradition on which Jenson
draws has described it). Basically, the law
speaks using an ifthen model. Law
defined by communication-as-demand
can be understood as the language of
desire. Take for example the statement,
if a person has a nice body, then I desire
to use that person for sexual pleasure.
By using an ifthen model, the
law expresses the demand of the desirer
to the one desired. Law imposes conditions of desire on the desired person.
Love Hopes for the Beloved by A Promise
While desire expects by demanding
something from the one desired, love
expects by promising something to the
beloved. Jenson puts it well: a promise
goes: because I will do such-and such,
you may await such-and-such. For
Jenson, promise is reverses the law of

ifthen The love that promises does

not expect anything from the beloved
but rather seeks to give of itself to the
beloved. For Jenson, as for most Christians, love is most clearly demonstrated
through Gods self-revelation in Jesus
Christ. According to Jenson, we can say
straight out: what happened with Jesus
is that love happened.
The story about Jesus is a story of
death and resurrection, defined by Gods
raising Jesus from the dead. Now, to
love another, as we said, is to make a
promise, a promise to promise unconditionally. But if the promisor dies, what
becomes of the promise? Yet Christians
claim that this Jesus, though he died
yet lives. The concrete events of Jesus
death and resurrection mean that one
successful lover now exists.
Love made by a promise involves
hope. According to Jenson, Jesus love
is at once something to hope for and
perfect hoping. Christians can hope for
Jesus love, and yet Jesus love is itself a
perfect hoping. By affirming the freedom of the beloved by making a promise, love hopes for the beloved to come
into love. Love expects the beloved, but
only insofar as it hopes to give itself to
the freedom of the beloved. Christian
love, it can be said, is a way of expecting
the beloved in terms of a promise that
hopes for the beloved.
Love is clearly irreconcilable with
desire. While desire wants to use the
other by a demand, love wants to free
the other by a promise.
How can we love? By experiencing death and new life in the story of
Jesus love, we too can hope for love.
We become part of Christs body, and
in so doing participate in his love. As
John reminds us, we love because God
first loved us. In Jesus love, we adopt
a way of expecting others that hopes
by the power of a promise. Living with
transformed expectations in Jesus love
is a possibility for all of our expectations,
sexual or otherwise.
The Way of Love
Sexual love must always occur within
the context of a promise that frees the
beloved. For this reason, humans have
almost universally made bonds of sexual

love within the context of a promise,

such as the marriage covenant. However,
participating in a marriage ceremony is
not the only way that humans can make
promises to each other of sexual love.
Conversely, many who do participate in
marriage fail to grasp the significance of
the promise marriage makes.
Can two people of the same sex
make loving promises to each other?
Since this question is so important (but
also beyond the scope of this article), I
will leave it unanswered. I will suggest,
however, that participation in Jesus
love through sexual encounter is perhaps more open than some Christians
might think it is. In any case, an honest
understanding of love as emancipating
promise does not deal in black-andwhite authority claims.
Clearly, many sexual practices that
are almost ubiquitous contemporary
American culture are anything but freeing to those who participate in them.
Having sex with just any partner that
happens to be at hand is not an expression of Christian love. Sexual orgies and
mindless hook-ups spread STDs, emotional trauma, and hopelessness, all of
which destroy the freedom that the lover
wants to give the beloved by a promise.
A good question to ask oneself
before initiating any sexual encounter
might be the following: if I have sex
with this other, am I freeing the other or
am I using the other for my own pleasure, perhaps to the detriment of the
others freedom? If you can honestly
say that having sex with another frees
her/him, you should go ahead. While in
the past people perhaps had too little
sex, the primary problem of here and
now is that too many people have sex
when they shouldnt. Sex as the domain
of love has been cheapened to appease
the usury of desire.
While we should be wise enough to
see that both authoritarian ethics and
permissive ethics are too simplistic to
address the problem of our sexual expectations, perhaps we Christians should
err on the side of having too little sex.
In every case, Christians should assume
responsibility for their sexual encounters, trusting God to be faithful to his
promise, no matter how far off Christians
may sometimes be.

There is clearly a gap between what we say about

sex and what we actually
do in our sexual lives.

religion

marriage and sex

//simerKAUR
For centuries it was said that
having sex before marriage was a sin.
Even today that is what ideal religious
beliefs teach us. Having sex before
marriage defamed you in society and
people looked down upon you but now
things have changed. People have
a broader mindset and accept many
things we wouldnt have in the past.
Although things have changed, so
have the reasons for having sex; it has
become easier and the significance had
decreased. People do it for fun and just
for the experience. It does not have that
importance that it should. I surveyed
some college students to ask them what
their thoughts were on this topic.
Well according to my religion, sex
is supposed to be during marriage but
thats not my personal belief that people
should wait till after marriage. I think
people should have sex even though
they arent married but as long as they
are in a committed relationship while
being spiritually and personally bonded.
- Brenda Ramirez, Student at La
Sierra University studying Social Work
(Catholic)
I think it should wait till marriage
because having sex before can be
harmful in a lot of ways.- Allison Zecher,
Studying English at La Sierra University
(Christian)
I dont think sex should only

happen after marriage because it could

lead towards your marriage falling
apart if you dont get what you expect
from your partner.- Elizabeth Reyes,
Studying Psychology and Business at
UCR (No religious affiliation)
I dont think sex should have to
wait. Sex can be spiritual between
people in they are compatible and
in tune with each other but in our
generation it is also possible to have
sex without emotional or spiritual
attachment. It really depends on the
people.- Sandip Gill, Studying Nursing
at CSUSB (Sikh/Punjabi)
Sex should only happen after
marriage. Nowadays it is simply called
making love for the fun of it. Meem
Masud, Studying Biology at CSUSB
(Muslim)
My Christian background tells me I
should wait till sex to have marriage but
for me it is to wait for someone who you
can trust and someone who will always
be there. I dont condemn to the idea
of having no sex before marriage. It is
unrealistic to ignore our physical needs.
- Anonymous, Studying English at La
Sierra University (Christian)
The conclusion on the basis of these
responses suggested that many college
students think that having sex before
marriage isnt bad but it shouldnt be

done for the wrong reasons. Two people

should be ready and have the spiritual
and personal maturity before doing
anything. We often go by what our
religion teaches us but at the end of the
day, it is what we want as individuals.

essay

the porn industry

//isaacCARREON
I have two very good friends who
borrow my Netflix account, both of
which happen to be girls. I logged on
one day and I saw on the Recently
Watched list a documentary titled After
Porn Ends. I knew I didnt watch it, one
of my friends had to. One of the friends
knew she was the one who watched
the taboo themed documentary while
our third friend was left in the dark.
I suspected that that friend must
have assumed that I watched that
documentary because Im a guy. Its
naturally assumed that men are more
drawn to pornography. I assure you
of my innocence, Id even stake my
reputation on it. Still skeptical that it
wasnt me? I dont blame you. The main
target demographic for pornography
is generally geared for men. After the
misplaced feelings of embarrassment
subsided from this taboo snafu, I began
to wonder what drives individuals to the
porn industry.
In a modern setting where multiple
sexual partners is more commonplace,
I assumed that for many individuals
entering the pornography business,
earning some fast cash for a sexual
experience that they would normally
have with others outside of the industry
would not only be appealing fiscally but
also a sinfully pleasurable experience.
According to researchgate.net, a study
that was done in 2008 shows that the
number of sexual partners that 18-25

year olds have is about 2-4. This doesnt

necessarily mean that the people in
this age group have sexual escapades
with 2-4 different people all in the
course of one year or even all spread
out. This average was determined out
of a population totaling of 729 with a
sample of this population of 433. The
confidence intervals of this age group
is 95%, which if Im learning anything
in my statistics class, 95% is the ideal
confidence interval to be reached with
dealing with humanity studies statistics.
While 2, or even 4 different sexual
partners arent too large of numbers, it
most definitely surpasses 1 partner. Why
do we seek out more than one sexual
partner? That question delves into more
a psychological discussion but I believe
that one of the primary if not constant
reasons individuals seek more sexual
experiences from different partners is
the enjoyable action of having sex. Sex
is many things, one of which is desirable.
Generally speaking, people want to have
sex. It coded in our DNA to be subject
to its stimuli. So with this very general
statement that one of the possible
reasons that people have multiple sexual
partners is because they enjoy the
action of sex, would it not be so farfetched that men and women who enter
the porn industry, do so because of the
potentiality of getting paid to fulfill their
own sexual craving?
Yes and no.
36

I did eventually watch the

documentary After Porn Ends and what
I discovered was very different set of
responses from former pornographic
actors and actresses on why they joined
it, why they quit and if they regret
entering the business at all. There were
four responses I gathered from the
documentary:
They entered the business because
of troubled past/financial reasons,
quit because of unhappy/destructive
lifestyle, and they regret entering the
business in the first place.
They entered to make some extra
money, quit because got too tired of the
industry, are thankful for their time in the
industry.
Entered the industry hoping to get
discovered to get famous, quit to
partake in other business ventures, and
would gladly make a comeback into
the industry if allowed back in.
They entered the business because of
troubled past/financial reasons, quit to
create a more normal life for themselves,
and are thankful for their time in the
industry with no plans to go back.
14 actors and actresses were
interviewed, each with their own
personal story on how they got into
the business. Some stories have similar

beginnings but usually have very

different outcomes. Of these 14 actors,
they primarily fell in to the categories I
listed above.
I discovered the first category in
former actress Shelley Lubben. Now a
devout Christian, she spends her time
dispelling the supposed glamor of
pornography and offers help to actresses
trying to get out of the business. Her
story begins with a dejected upbringing.
Tragically, she was sexually molested
as a child and at the age of 16, left
home. She remembers clearly that she
was sitting forlorn and sobbing on a
sidewalk curb not knowing what her
next meal would be. A man passing by
spotted her and sat next to her, trying
desperately to comfort the crestfallen
teen. Lubben suspected a guardian
angel was sitting next to her when
suddenly, he said, Dont cry, you have a

We sometimes forget
that porn stars are
people too.

very pretty face. How would you like

to make $35 right now? The stranger
invited the teen with no options to
star in a pornographic film for food
money. From there, Lubbens career
in pornography started. Lubbens life
subsequently propelled out of control
as an actress in the porn industry. It
was when she reached an emotional
rock bottom that she decided to exit
the industry. Focuses with an antiporn itinerary, she now combats the
industry by warning young teens and
offering help to them.
We sometimes forget that porn
stars are people too. People who
probably didnt think they would be
pornographic stars. Enter Richard
Pacheco, John Leslie and Randy
West, all male pioneers in the porn
industry. Their charm, wit and even
artistic talent, made it almost hard to
believe that these men were in porn.
These men all entered the industry
because then needed the extra cash
when they were younger. Each spent
way more than 8 years in the industry,
which considering a females usual
tenure in porn is about 2 years, is
quite impressive. These men enjoyed,
for what its worth, their time in the
industry and two of them even had
successful marriages at the time. The
common reason for these men leaving
the industry was for love. Love in the
traditional sense of a family or longing
to have one. Richard Pacheco left the
industry for his children, John Leslie
left the industry abruptly at the cusp
of a big gig because he felt that sex
was losing its charm and he didnt
want that to ruin his valued intimacy
with his beloved wife. Randy West left
to pursue a meaningful relationship
with someone and sadly is still looking.
All three of these men contribute
to society in a positive way now that
they retired from porn. Pacheco is a
hobbyist who wrote a book about
his time in the industry; Randy West
takes the proceeds of his time in the
business and donates them to charity;
John Leslie graces the humanities with
his spectacular art. Overall the men
were thankful for what the industry
was able to do for them and how it
helped them lead successful lives after
their retirement.
Its worked for more celebrities
than we think so for former actress
Mary Carey, entering the porn industry
was just a step onto fame in the
mainstream media. At the time of the
documentary, she just turned 25 and
was retired. She was still however
living on the proceeds of her time in
the business and living comfortably.
Her goal to become famous by any
means necessary led her, if some may
recall, to run in the political arena
during the 2003 California recall
election for governor. Shockingly, she

placed in 10th place. Its obvious that

she isnt shy about her career and in the
documentary expressed her willingness
to enter the industry again if she needed
to.
The most interesting story was
that of former actress Asia Carrera. Her
story begins similarly to Lubbens. A
troubled home life was all Carrera had
to look forward to when she came home
from school. This however did not deter
her from demonstrating her academic
prowess. Carrera was determined to
do well scholastically as she felt that
education was key to having a better life
than the one she had at home. Carrera
eventually earned a full ride to college
at the end of her time in high school.
While in college, she felt like she had to
find a means to support herself. Now
estranged from her parents, she entered
lewd modeling which eventually lead
to pornography. While in the industry,
she learned from her job as an actress
how to create films. From screenwriting,
lighting, camera work and editing,
she mastered them all and eventually
directed some of her own films. She

expresses that she always tried to

make the industry work for her and
not the other way around. Eventually,
she retired with her husband to Utah
where porn is illegal and started a family.
Unfortunately, her husband died in a
car accident. Now widowed, she fell
into some hard times financially. She
asked her former fans for support and
was sent not only money but also gifts
and toys for her two children. She looks
back at her time in the industry and is
thankful that for all the help it was able
to do for her, especially at the death of
her husband. She however maintains
that she is permanently retired and
is looking forward to new things and
careers in her life.

who lead very different lives when the

cameras are shut off. It wouldnt be wise
to judge them.

To answer the question before,

what drives us to porn? it seems that
its usually desperation, whether it be
financial, a sense of security or even
desperation to be famous, actors and
actresses who enter the pornography
business enter with real fears,
aspirations and hopes of their own. We
cannot forget that the individuals in
the pornography industry are people

RANDY
WEST

SHELLEY MARY
LUBBEN CAREY

JOHN
LESLIE

ASIA
RICHARD
CARRERA PACHECO
38

Criterion Conversation:
We want your feedback. We need your feedback. We are your voice.
Email us at "criterion@lasierra.edu"
OR
Send us a letter to:
SALSU Office, Criterion Editor
La Sierra University
4700 Pierce Street
Riverside, CA 92515
Also, keep in mind of the coming public event, titled, "Let's Talk About Sex."
It's a follow up to this issue in which we will openley discuss our sexual realities, perceptions and expectations,
all for the sake of progress and conversation.
Be on the look out for posters around campus for this event!
Photo Credits:
Jonathan Rojas (Primary photographer).
Some images were pulled from the Google.com search engine. Publications of note are the Washington Post and the Huffington
Post. Additionally, some photos were used from the La Sierra University Flickr page, taken by the great artistic talent on campus.