A Collection of Beautiful English Jokes

(1)

Thats a strange pair of socks youre wearing. - Ciudat pereche de osete pori. Una este
Ones red and the others green.

roie, iar cealalt este verde.

Yes, I know. And do you know what Ive got - Da, tiu. i tii ceva? Am o alt pereche
another pair exactly like it at home!

exact la fel acas!

Now tell me, do you usually stir your tea with - Spune-mi, te rog, de obicei mesteci ceaiul cu
your right hand?

mna dreapt?

Oh, yes.

- O, da.

Thats strange. Most people use a spoon.

- Asta-i ciudat. Majoritatea oamenilor folosesc

o linguri.

Congratulations, my boy! said the grooms - Felicitri, biete! a spus unchiul mirelui. Sunt
uncle. Im sure youll look back on this day as sigur c peste ani, vei privi aceast zi ca pe
the happiest day of your life.

cea mai fericit zi din viaa ta.

But Im not getting married until tomorrow.

- Dar de-abia mine m cstoresc.

I know, said the uncle.

- tiu, a spus unchiul.

Where have you been?

- Unde ai fost?

Out riding.

- Am clrit.

Horseback?

- Pe cal?

Oh yes. He got back half an hour before I - O, da. El s-a ntors cu o jumtate de or mai
did.

devreme dect mine.

A man walked into a doctors office with a Un om a intrat n cabinetul doctorului cu un

cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his right ear, castravete n nas, un morcov n urechea
and a banana in his left ear.

dreapt i o banan n urechea stng.

Whats wrong with me, Doc? he asked

Ce este n neregul cu mine, doctore? a

The doctor took one glance and said, Its ntrebat el.
obvious! Youre not eating properly!

Doctorul a aruncat o privire i a spus, Este

evident! Nu mnnci corect!

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The old man at the Home was celebrating his Un btrn de la azil i celebra ce-a de-a 112-a
112th birthday. A reporter from the local aniversare de zi de natere. Un reporter de la
newspaper asked him, Tell me, what do you ziarul local l-a ntrebat, Spunei-mi, care
think is the reason for your long life?

credei c este cauza vieii dumneavoastr

The old man thought for a minute, then said, lungi?

Well, I suppose its because I was born such Btrnul s-a gndit timp de un minut, apoi a
a long time ago.

spus, Ei bine, e din cauz c m-am nscut cu

mult timp n urm.

A man ran into a bank and pointed a gun at Un brbat a nvlit ntr-o banc i a
the cashier. He said, Give me all your money, ameninat-o cu un pistol pe casier. El a spus:
or youll be GEOGRAPHY!

- D-mi toi banii ti, sau vei fi GEOGRAFIE!

The cashier laughed and said, You mean Casiera a rs i a spus:

youll be HISTORY

- Vrei s spui ISTORIE.

The robber answered, Dont change the Banditul a rspuns:

subject.

- Nu schimba subiectul. (n englez subject =

subiect, dar i obiect de coal)

You remind me of the sea.

- mi aduci aminte de mare.

Because Im so wild and romantic?

- Pentru c sunt att de slbatec i romantic?

No, you make me sick.

- Nu, mi faci ru.

Put your money in oil.

.- Pune-i banii n petrol. (cu sensul de a investi)

Are you crazy? Who wants oily money?

- Eti nebun? Cine vrea bani unsuroi?

A lady was in the kitchen preparing dinner O doamn era n buctrie pregtind cina,
when she heard a loud banging all the way cnd a auzit o bufnitur puternic n jos, pe
down the stairs. She rushed into the hall where scri. Ea s-a repezit pe hol, unde a vzut-o pe
she saw her daughter lying on the floor. What fiica ei zcnd ntins pe podea.
happened? she asked. Did you miss a step?

- Ce s-a ntmplat? a ntrebat ea. Ai ratat vreo

No, replied the daughter. I hit every one.

treapt?
- Nu, a replicat fiica. Le-am lovit pe toate.

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