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Deadwood in Ashes
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Deadwood Free Press Vol. 3 Issue 2 April 1, 1879
Deadwood in Ashes...
was made by Gen. Sturgis. Almost every class of business is repre-
All saloons are closed by order of sented in Main and Sherman streets, and
the Sheriff, and the city presents all have a great rush of custom. Prices have
an unusually quiet appearance. A Citizens’ not advanced except in very few instances,
Committee of Safety, numbering seven, where the demand for some articles was
was also appointed at today’s meeting, creator than the supply, and. in such
which will assist the Sheriff in preserving cases, the advance has been slight.
the peace. Evildoers, if caught, will be All of the daily papers are being
speedily dealt with. issued on small sheets, struck off
A proposition to organize a vig- at Lend City and Central. They contain
ilance committee, 100 strong, proposed little else than news of the fire. Lumber
by Mr. Streeter, was voted down. The is being hauled in by every available
Post Office, which was destroyed, team in this vicinity, and it is
lost $3,000 in postage stamps bringing $4 per 1,000 feet.
and stamped envelopes, but no mail was Mills are running night and day,
destroyed, and coaches are running regu- but not enough can be brought in
larly with the daily mails. to supply the demand. Some persons had
Many kind offers of assistance have
been made by Eastern merchants, but will
hardly be accepted, as merchants bear their Deadwood this morning threw all Dakota
losses with the best possible grace, and are into a tremor of excitement. The town was
not inclined to place themselves under any the richest and largest in the Territory.
obligations, at the same time appreciating No details can be received during the day.
the willing offers made by Eastern houses The military telegraph line was occupied
in all branches of trade. Surviving houses all day with commercial messages order-
have not taken advantage of the necessity ing stocks of goods and preparing for the
of the hour by advancing prices on staple emergency that was threatening the home-
goods, and, as was generally exp ected, less people.
prices remain as usual. The Deadwood operator took up his sta-
((The preceding was from the Real Life tion on a bluff a mile and a half from the
New York Times, with one exception, and ruined town, and contented himself with
the rest is from other press accounts)) the head of a barrel for a desk. Gen. Stur-
We note with interest how other newspa- gis, commanding at Fort Meade, 20 miles
pers have reported our tragedy: ; away, early responded to the cry of the
Bismarck, Dakota, .—The burning of sufferers, and tendered them shelter at the
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Deadwood Free Press Vol. 3 Issue 2 April 1, 1879
Editorial
We Shall Rebuild
What? You feel discouraged, pioneer? Miss Sal has to teach dozens of prospective threatening everyone all over, little girls
Remember you are of America. We laugh whores how to perform oral sex, Santa kidnapping a boy’s bear, all sorts of mys- Miss Alex, Miss Capra, Miss Paxan, Miss
in the face of fire. You think a lil smolder- Claus burning down the Phoenix, Rev. terious royal visitors with one dire idea or Bedlam, the suicides of Starbuck Shippe,
ing timbers can set us back? Henry Smith killed in cold blood, Phaeton other, Mr. String threatening to break the his being unusual only in that he did not
No! We shall rebuild. Perra killing lots of miners, Mr. Densmith union, the union threatening to break Mr. come back, Cameo shoots the sheriff, the
Every major town has been cleared trying to take over the Bella Union, them String, considerable amounts of just awful Pinkertons instill terror in union men and
by fire, including my own home of San Mormon women who set fire to the Gem dancing, a whiskey riot in which a fella innocent people, several women arrive to
Francisco, and it only means we rebuild all the time, John Tanner menacing all was killed, Coodnank Thibedeau talking meet husbands who end up dead and thus
stronger. You think a few smoldering ruins sorts of people and having a bloody hook to unseen spirits, Miss Cookie talking to become eligible widows, shootists trying
can set back Deadwood? No! When the suspended above the butcher’s for inter- the dead, Silas Acker being .... Silas which to kill JF and Lola Kanto a couple dozen
railroad arrives in a year or two (well, rogating people, all sorts of snipers who was bad enough, the Phoenix Hotel being times, Mr. Slade is murdered, Guru having
maybe three) it shall find a town made of either stayed in town one day or had to robbed, Miss Sal ruling over the Bella and children by the second, a librarian who
brick. This wood was only temporary, and be hunted down, approximately 307 men shootin up the misbehaving, our Methodist changes his name by the hour and seems
we all knew it. who pretended to be priests but turned minister shooting highwaymen down in to always have blood under his finger-
You think a fire is something in our his- out to be rapists and killers, a certain edi- the street, Jeni Trefusis gunned down in nails, Alabama Jack keeps escaping from
tory? HA! Remember our history .... tor’s wife cooking people into pies, Miss China Alley, Estwee made pie after pie crimes, Joe Verwood repeatedly shoots
Well there was Wild Bill getting shot Sal telling one irritating person who kept after pie after pancake after pancake and up the town, the Dethly brothers shoot
in the back, Sheriff Dazar’s corpse get- trying to get laid and threatening to kill made so many of us fat, a mystic calls forth up the town, two English redcoats from
ting dug up and hung from the balcony of himself that he couldn’t get laid in a whore- Wild Bill at Rod Eun’s No. 10, Blackjack the Revolutionary War show up to run for
the Bella, Marrant Vita and five orphans house, and her parrot kept repeating that Landar and Miss Daisy gunned down in town council, Carrie Anne is nearly froze
dying in a fire, Darren Darkstone holding every time the fellow came around, Mayor the Gem, Mister Bu’s pigs looking awful to death and loses toes, crazed killer Lars-
the whole town hostage while he bet up Clay cutting off a half dozen heads, Miss plump sometimes, bodies stacked three son finally gets his from Ron Xi, a miner
Sheriff Dazar’s son and Jeni Trefusis hold- Jemima works 24 hours a day in the Gem people deep in the icehouse, Ron Xi having turns away a young couple, they and their
ing a gun at several women like Mahalia for 18 months and becomes Snow Queen, to shoot down all sort of people to keep baby freeze in the snow and he is thus tried
Bertrand and FaithMay, Cameo killing Mrs. Dio Kuhr cutting off dozens of tes- the law, Pancho robbing people right and in miners court and hung, young Deac
half the town, sometimes more than once, ticles, Miss Jeni sleeping with enough men left afore he was finally run out of town, asks for work *a lot*, Deldrago Rieko kills
Miss Addison Leigh being taken hostage, to populate Chicago, Mr. Shakespeare two complete morons who talked potty two women while holding hostages during
talk over and over and over until they a bank robbery, bank teller Mr. Muggins
were run out of town over and over and is pistol-whipped causing mental deteriora-
over, playwright Wild Bill Finkelstein shot tion in his razor sharp mind, Judge Mo
dead during a performance of his play at is kidnapped, Dusty’s harp carpet, Jesus
the Bella, Sheriff Glen is murdered, Billie Christ, Doc Morpork never performs sur-
Whitman dealt faro till her fingers bled gery sober, mortician Mackman Mauer
or maybe it was just her customers’ needs, enjoys dressing bodies a bit too much,
Miss Sal’s parrot disappearing, former Mayor Pel’s council meetings run wild and
Gov. Pennington perving over our women, efforts to limit gun use become wildly con-
Badger Bagley slapping all sorts of people, troversial, his daughter Lucy shoots up sev-
Doc Morri getting shot hourly there for eral towns, Chinese women openly caged
awhile, a young man trying to shoot down on the back streets, dead bodies follow
the entire City Council only to be killed Miss Taj around wherever she goes, the
first by Mr. Densmith, Cheyenne Wilder’s crazy Chinese Tong woman who insults
body is set ablaze after his death, Mr. and all white people and beats people up while
Mrs. Westland leading a march on the boxing, Sheriff Scara has to take down
Free Press and demanding Mr. Streeter be Scarface, Adiiniah Darkstone disappears,
lynched for committing comments about Roku offering to help recruit lawmen by
Mrs. Westland’s breasts to print, the char- screwing them if they stay in town long
ity auction held by Miss Dufaux in which enough, the Furkels poisonous street carts,
bachelors were sold off to charity for mil- Sand Rau and others desperately try to
lions, Randal Carfield’s reign of bloody save jail after Darenn Darkstone sets it
terror, Marshall Hawks discovering Miss afire, Seth disappears from the Gem ....
Cyn and Mr. Cameo doing something on To name a few problems.
a bridge that involved more than driving If we have survived all that, can’t we
a post, the enormous townwide personal survive a small fire?
problems of Doc Keli, Miss Munster,
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Deadwood Free Press Vol. 3 Issue 2 April 1, 1879
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Deadwood Free Press Vol. 3 Issue 2 April 1, 1879
Mary Sue Sweetliness stared The vapid mewling prostitute who her in a bed of daisies. The over- people and down upon the dis-
vacantly as she passed through the begged to be beaten, and the man turned stone stunned them with the traught brother with no words of
trackless sea of waving grass that that lured away her older sister to revelation of golden promise. recrimination passing her rosy lips
reached out gently, swiping her legs his arms. But alas, God’s demons are for no anger did she bear. Only the
and arms with arid fingertips. If The sight of Jesus and his wagon nothing if not jealous of those light of divine acceptance and peace
the prairie held any eyes that fol- rolling away in the waves. that wander the earth in superior traveled from her eyes. Suddenly
lowed her slow and swaying gate, The filthy men who recued her look and bearing. Mary knelt on God’s light let her know the course.
it kept this secret. from death in the captive creek the ground to thank God for his Among the crowd stood a small
Along the trail, her once smooth bottom and the last memories, bounty. Her husband, rewarded in round man in vestments. She bid
foot cast mindlessly along a faint almost too much to bear. ways he never dreamed declared the preacher step forward and bind
indentation in the grass that might Personal tragedy slaked its thirst their property the “the Sweetliness them at once. All was competed and
have been the receding tracks of at her well. It stalked poor Mary Gold mine” and prostrated himself in a manner of moments, the erring
a preceding wagon or completely Sue, opening her wounds and cut- on the ground beside her. brother, now her husband redeemed
imaginary in her scattered recogni- ting her a new with every breath. At the height of their bliss, a in her eyes and those about them.
tion. For Mary Sue trod her path Already doomed to a life of staid shadow crossed over the sun. Smiling he stepped back to look
seemingly without benefit of ratio- remembering at the loss of her first The husband’s brother possessed at her, hardly sensible of his good
nal thought. Her clothing tattered love. Not three days ago the uni- by a devil unseen appeared over fortune and, eager to examine
nearly to indecency, her hair scat- verse seemed ready to right itself, the hill. In but a moment all life his acquisition in a golden ray of
tered on the wind like the dirty cast and reward one such as she – the was changed. The brother’s face light.
away feathers of a plucked swan. possessor of incomparable mind, contorted in anger upon sight of It is a truth of living that even
She walked along the whisp of a body, and soul with all she was the gleaming bride and the shaft. the most saintly among us have
trail shod only with what God pro- do. Without forethought, he drew his days when that God we adorn with
vides all humanity upon the dark Finding herself hopelessly embed- knife above his brother and buried worship, who we dedicate our lives,
side of our tread. To those hidden ded in creek mud, but rescued for it so deep, fratricide was accom- minds and hearts, acts in ways the
eyes of the prairie, or any other ill purpose by a clutch of sneering plished before the victim had time most learned cannot comprehend.
sentient man or beast that hap- rampant louts not five days before, to scarcely turn his head before For as the brother, now husband,
pened upon her, her round indigo God himself performed a miracle. light faced from his eyes. stepped back, a small but decisive
eyes revealed nothing but the list- Taking up one of the surly barrel The next moment, regret. In crack of a small but important
less focus of one doomed by cruel shaped man who menaced her with anguish the wayward brother fell branch resounded in the clearing.
recompense to live out their days in shame beyond considering. He upon his knees. “What have I done” His wife reached out, but too late.
a tortuous mindless bliss where no turned the massive man to look screamed he, his face a massive con- His body froze hanging in the air
joy or sorrow lit a fire in the brain. upon the virtuous angel touched tortion of pain and desperation. “I as if angles allowed him bid adieu:
A light once taken in, by all appear- continence and truly see her. He repent of my evil deed, dear Lord Hanging on the pendulum of eter-
ances reflected out again without stretched the man’s mind and heart forgive me” nity.
response or comprehension. into a good man and converted him Mary stood watching the man For one moment, their eyes met
But as nature may shelter a tiny to worthiness at the very sight of sob in grief and desperation and and breathed one last breath with
string of green at the center of each her. In turn the man beat his broth- shock. Surely she thought to her- each other. In the next, all was lost.
frozen tendril, and as winter may ers away, sent for a preacher, took self, “though his deed be evil, it is His body plunged madly into the
keep free one icy current under the Mary into his arms and made her the work of the devil and a reminder mine shaft, their suspense relieved
frozen table of its lakes and streams, his bride and his for all time and that all may fall into such grief as brutally as his mass slammed
a slow trace of images, beautiful eternity. In this, Mary Sue saw the evil one seeks to take our human against rocks deep inside the crevice
and horrific, passed through her the hand of God and embraced his hands and guide them to the path and dashed out his brains.
mind undetected to any outside gift. Given her depth of understand- of evil,” even though it had never Stunned inconsolable by the loss
gaze. ing, led by spiritual awareness and happened to her personally. of her husband, whom she loved as
Images more than thoughts superior morality few woman ever So overcome with compassion, deeply as any love every experi-
paraded in her bruised mind: experienced she bound together Mary fell to her knees with the man, enced by any man or woman upon
The faraway church yard where fully with him in blissful a state taking his head to her bosom, rock- the earth, and fresh out of siblings
lay the last remains or her dear completion of herself, obedient to ing him too and fro over the fallen for a replacement, Mary left the
dead beloved passed through her God and to the virtuously tall and body of his lost brother. Soon there town. Walking past the crowed of
mind’s eye. well formed man who was now her were others who joined the tableau stunned onlookers who raised rude
The smoke filled town of thieves husband. as cries of wonderment and concern crosses in protection as she passed.
and vermin who harried her and Were not true love and the fulfill- fell through the trees as a crowed of Mary Sue took mindlessly to that
her sisters away from retrieving ment of her existence enough. For- rake- and shovel-bearing townsfolk same road where we and her fate
much needed medicine and the tune smiled with the dawn. As they sped to defend the innocent from now find her.
corruption of her youngest sister walked next morning, an accidental danger.
to their ranks. trip on God’s Dewey ground landed Mary looked upon the good
To be continued...
(( and you’ll have to be there for the restart of Deadwood to
see it when this serial somehow, magically, reappears ))