ReflectionAssignment2

Whatareyouparticularlyproudofinthispaper?Whatwouldyourewrite/reviseifyouhadmore
time?Giveexplicittextualexamples.
Describewhatcommentswerehelpful/nothelpfulfromyourpeerrespondersandexplainhow
youincorporatedthefeedbackorwhyyouchosenotusesomeofthefeedback.Again,give
explicittextualexamplescitedfromtheactualfeedback.
WhatStudentLearningOutcomesSLOs(rhetoricalknowledge,criticalreading,composing
andprocesses,knowledgeofconventions,and/orcriticalreflection)didyouseeemergeinthe
seconddraftofthisproject?Explainwhichonesyouseeandhowthesefunctionasexamples
ofrhetoricalknowledge,knowledgeofconventions,etcagainuseexplicittextualexamples.
Youhavethehomeworkchartfromhomeworkresponse10thatcanhelpyouaddressthis
question.REMEMBER:NOTALLOFTHESESLOsMAYBEPRESENTINTHISPIECE,SO
DONOTUSETHESEASALAUNDRYLISTOFQUESTION/ANSWER.
500Words,12pt,TimesNewRomanFont,singlespaced.
SavedandUploadedinaMicrosoftWordDocument
.

Myfavoritepartaboutthispaperwastheintroduction.Ireallyenjoyedhavingtheability
togointodetailandcreateavisualimageforthereader.Beingabletobrieflyrecreatemyown
experienceinaraceduringatrackmeetwasmarvelous.Iwoulddefinitelyliketogo,andcould
gofurtherintodetailsaboutthisimagethatIpainted,howeverIthoughtifIweretodoso,then
perhapsthemainfocalpointofthepaperwouldhavesteeredoffitscourse.EvenDeniseand
BrandonwereabletocomprehendandrelatetotheexperiencethatIfantasizedaboutinmy
introduction
Iagreethattheintroductiongivesagreatvisualtothereaderastowhatitislike
torunatrackrace.Assomeonewhoisnotathleticorasportsmember,seeingthisinmyheadis
veryinterestingandalmostnew.Itshowspassioninyourintro.(D.F.)
commentedDenise,
I
lovethis.ThisentireintroparagraphwasvisualandreallyremindedmeofwhenIplayedgolf.
Thisisgreattechniquehere.
statedBrandon.
Iwouldalso,andmostdefinitelyplanonrewriting
my"reviewofrelevantliterature"sectionaltogether.Insteadofjusthavingtheannotation
sectionsbacktoback,Iwillgroupthedifferentsectionstogetherandmakeitallflowtogetheras
acohesiveparagraph.Ifeellikeifidoso,itwouldbeeasierforthereadertofollowandgeta
moreclearideaofwhatthispaperissupposedtobeaboutaswellashaveabetterunderstanding
ofthebackgroundresearchofathletesphysicalandmentalhealthandhowtheycorrelatewith
eachother.IthinkthepersonwhosopinionhelpedmeoutthemostwiththispaperisLarrys
(
YinongSheng).Hepointedouttheafewhugeflawsinmypapersuchastheendingparagraphs
oftheenteringtheconversationaswellastheconclusion/sowhat?section.Thefollowing
commentsaretheoneshesmadeabouttheenteringtheconversationsection
Confused...Is
thisafinishedparagraph?Ifeellikeyouhavealotmoretosayandyoujusthitstop.Takealook
ofthiswholeparagraphandfindthepotentialissue.Nooffensebutattheendof"Thankfully,..."
paragraph,Icanfeelthosequestionsarethrownatme.Trytoseparatethemunlessyoucanadd

somethingtoexplainthenecessityofhavingaparagraphhalfofQ's.(Sheng).
OnceIreread
theendingparagraphsIunderstoodwhathemeantIdidthrowquestionsatthereaderallat
once.However,ImnotquitesurehowIamgoingtogoaboutfixingorchangingthisproblem.I
feltlikethosequestionswereallreleventbecauseIthoughtitwouldallowthereadertoreadinto
mymindabitmoreandunderstandwhereIwascomingfrom.ButLarrydoesmakeafairpoint.
IdontthinkthatIhadmoretosaybutIwilldefinetlythinkofhowtosmoothoutthe
paragraphs.Intheconclusion/sowhatendingparagraph,Larrycommentedonceagainabout
questions
Ifeellikethosequestionswerethrowndirectlytomyface.Youmightneeda
sentencetoindicateyouareraisingnewquestionsand(optional)astatementsentencetoendit.
Don'tforget12ptTNR.
.Ithinkhisideaofhavinganindicatedsentence.So,whatIwasthinking
ofdoingishavinganopeningstatementindicatingforbothoftheenteringtheconversation
andconclusion/sowhat?sectionstatingtherelevanceoftheprecedingquestions.Themain
SLOIseecomingaboutfromthissecondassignmentdraftiscomposingandprocessbecause
throughoutthepaper,thereadercanrecognizemythoughtprocess,andhowIcameaboutmy
mainpointofthementalandphysicalattributesofatrackathlete.Hopefully,buttheendofthe
paperthereadercanalsoseehowIplanonpiecingthesethoughtstogether.