12/2/2015

HowshouldChristianparentshandlethedeathofachild?

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HowshouldChristianparentshandlethedeathofachild?

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Question:"HowshouldChristianparentshandlethedeathofachild?"

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Answer:Asparents,wecannotimagineamoretraumaticexperiencethanthedeathofachild.Allparents
naturallyexpecttheirchildrentooutlivethem.Suchalossisanextraordinary,outofordereventthatbrings
withitanoverwhelmingsenseofpainandlingeringgrief.Itisalifealteringexperiencethatpresentsunique
challengestoparentsastheyseektorebuildtheirliveswithouttheirchild.

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Itwouldbepresumptuousforanyonetotellparentshowtohandlethedeathofachild.However,wedoknow
thatthosewhoyieldtheirlivestoGodaremoreapttorecoverfromsuchalosswithagreatersenseof
normalcythanthosewithoutagenuineandpositivefaithinourCreator.Withthisbeingtrue,howdoChristian
parentshandlethedeathofachild?DoestheBibleaddressthesubject,andifso,inwhatway?
First,weshouldnotethateachpersonhandlesgriefdifferently.Emotionsvarywidelyintheirintensity.These
emotionsarenormalandnatural.Second,noparentevergetsoverormovesonfromthedeathofachild.
Itsnotlikeanillnessfromwhichwerecover.Mostcounselorslikenittoalifechangingphysicalinjury.
However,weshouldalsoknowthat,thoughwemayalwaysfeeltheloss,itsintensitydoesdiminishwithtime.
ItistheChristiansfaithinalovingandeverfaithfulGodthatenablesustoendureandrecoverfromthedeath
ofachild,sometimesinwaysthatothersfindremarkable.SuchwasthecaseofDavidinthelossofhischild
whodiedsevendaysafterbirth(2Samuel12:1819).Thereareseveralvaluablelessonswecanlearnfrom
thispassageofScripturethatcanhelpgrievingparentstofacethefuturewithhope.
OneisthatDavidprayedferventlyforhischildslife(2Samuel12:16).Thisshouldbetrueforallparentsatall
times,andnotjustwhentimesaredifficult.Parentsshouldalwaysprayfortheirchildren,askingGodtowatch
overandprotectthem.Likewise,parentsshouldpraythatGodprovidesgodlywisdomandguidancesothat
theirchildrengrowinthenurtureandadmonitionoftheLord(Judges13:12Proverbs22:6Ephesians6:4).

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AnotherlessonwelearnfromDavidisinhisreactiontohischildsdeath.Uponlearningthattheinfanthad
died,therewasanacceptancesignifiedbyhisactionswhenhearosefromtheground,washedandanointed
himself,andchangedhisclothesandhewentintothehouseoftheLORDandworshiped.Thenhewenttohis
ownhouseandwhenherequested,theysetfoodbeforehim,andheate(2Samuel12:20).Whatis
surprisingaboutthispassageisthatDavidwentintothehouseoftheLordandworshiped.Inotherwords,
Davidnotonlyacceptedthedeathofhischild,buthegaveitallovertoGodinworship.Theabilitytoworship
andhonorGodinatimeoftrialorcrisisisapowerfuldemonstrationofourspiritualconfidenceinourGod.
Doingsoenablesustoaccepttherealityofourloss.AndthisishowGodfreesustogoonliving.WhatDavid
modelsforusinthisstoryislearningtoturnloosewhatwecannotchange.
Thenextlessonisthemostrevealing.Itisconfidenceintheknowledgethatchildrenwhodiebeforethey
reachtheageofaccountabilitygotoheaven.Davidsresponsetothosequestioninghisreactiontothedeath
ofhischildhasalwaysbeenagreatsourceofcomforttobelievingparentswhohavelostinfantsandyoung
children.Butnowthatheisdead,whyshouldIfast?CanIbringhimbackagain?Iwillgotohim,buthewill
notreturntome(2Samuel12:23).Davidwasfullyconfidentthathewouldmeethissoninheaven.This
passageisapowerfulindicationthatbabiesandyoungchildrenwhopassfromthisworldwillgotoheaven.
Grievingthedeathofachildisaheartrendingjourney.Therearenohardandfastrulesorguidelinestoteach
ushowtohandleourmourning.However,counselorsandthosewhohaveexperiencedthelossofachild
haveprovidedsomehelpfuladvice:

Recognizethatyouarenotalone.YouhaveGod.YouhaveyourbrothersandsistersinChrist.Youhave
closefriendsandfamily.Leanonthem.Theyaretheretohelpyou.
Dontputtimelimitsonyourrecovery.Dontexpectadaytopasswithoutthinkingaboutyourchild,nor

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12/2/2015

HowshouldChristianparentshandlethedeathofachild?
Dontputtimelimitsonyourrecovery.Dontexpectadaytopasswithoutthinkingaboutyourchild,nor
shouldyouwantto.
Talkaboutyourchild.Itsimportantthatyousharethestoryofyourchildwithothers.
Takecareofyourselfandyourotherchildren.They,too,aresuffering.Theygrievethelossofasiblingand
havetheadditionaldiscomfortofseeingtheirparentsingrief.
Trynottomakeanymajordecisionsatleastforthefirstyear.
Expectthatgettingthroughthemanyfirstsfollowingthedeathofayoungchildfirstbirthday,first
Christmas,etc.willbepainful.
Andlastly,ChristianswhohaveexperiencedthedeathofachildhavethegrandandfaithfulpromiseofGods
Word:AndGodshallwipeawayalltearsfromtheireyesandthereshallbenomoredeath,neithersorrow,
norcrying,neithershalltherebeanymorepain:fortheformerthingsarepassedaway(Revelation21:4).
RecommendedResources:HeavenbyRandyAlcornandLogosBibleSoftware.

RelatedTopics:
HowdoIfindcomfortandpeacewhenIhavelostalovedonetodeath?
WhatdoestheBiblesayaboutovercominggrief?

VerseoftheWeek
WillwebeabletoseeandknowourfriendsandfamilymembersinHeaven?
Howcanabelieverfindcomfortafterthedeathofaparent?

Andyouwillhearofwars
andrumorsofwars.See

Isitwrongtowanttodie?

thatyouarenotalarmed,
forthismusttakeplace,
buttheendisnotyet.
Matthew24:6

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