NON-FICTION

Unseen Text Commentary

Suggested Procedure: A First Approach
(You must have your WORDS/PHRASES FOR WRITING ABOUT A TEXT handout)

PART 1: EXPLORATION AND ANALYSIS

STAGE 1: MAKING ANNOTATIONS DO NOT
WRITE ANYTHING YET
Read the extract to get an overall view of its content.
Identify the type of text and its area of communication
Re-read the extract and determine the theme.
Explore each of the paragraphs and identify main ideas and the supporting
arguments.
Make connections between the main ideas you found and how the arguments
support them. This is to establish the lead the writer wants the reader to
follow.
Identify the intention of the writer or communicative purpose
Identify the audience

STAGE 2: EXPLORING STRUCTURE DO NOT WRITE

ANYTHING YET
(Thorough knowledge of English grammar is essential at this stage)
Identify types of sentences (simple-compound-complex)
If simple sentences, identify what information they provide
If complex sentences, identify the information the subordinated clauses provide
If compound sentences, identify the connectives used and the function they
have within the paragraph.
Explore their word order (if they follow the S+V+DO traditional structure)
With key sentences (ideas), examine whether there is a grammatical structure
pattern that differs from the traditional word order in sentence formation
Pay attention to the punctuation marks used and its frequency. These usually
replace connectives and may add an indirect intentionality to the sentences
placed before or after; hence, they determine the “rhythm” and “speed” of the
passage.

STAGE 3: DICTION (CHOICE OF WORDS) AND TONE DO NOT

WRITE ANYTHING YET
Re-read the extract and look for the “important words”. These are usually
verbs, adjectives and nouns.
Make a list of these and either:
- group them in terms of thoughts or ideas, emotion or feelings and “images”
or sense impressions
- examine any particular term that may make reference to a specific idea
presented in the extract
State the denotation (literal meaning) of your list.
Identify those words whose connotation (suggested or emotional meaning:
positive or negative) given by the context of the extract, evidence or reinforce
the intention of the writer.
Connect the “important words” list to the arguments and ideas in which these
words are included.
Decide the manner in which those “important words” are expressed in relation
to the argument(s) presented. This is called TONE (in a same extract the writer
may switch tones to achieve desired effect).

STAGE 4: INTERPRETATION AND EVIDENCE DRAWING

CONCLUSIONS
Situate examples to support your findings in structure, diction and rhythm
within the extract.
Select examples/quotes that prove effectively your proposed analysis. AVOID
extremely long quotations
Connect your text analysis propositions with the chosen examples/quotes.
STAGE 5: OUTLINING AND PLANNING BEGIN DRAFTING
Good planning is essential.
Build an outline including your ideas and comments always based on your
findings
Elaborate an opening statement based on the general view you got from your
in-depth exploration (THESIS)
State a main idea and provide supporting ideas and evidence for each
paragraph you will build
Start from the most general to the most specific ideas.
Select quotes and connect them with your ideas
Review your ideas to AVOID repetition and inclusion of speculative and/or
irrelevant comments
Elaborate a closing statement (MAIN IDEA OF THE CONCLUSION) avoiding
reiteration of previously mentioned points.

STAGE 7: COMMENTARY WRITING EDITING AND

PROOFREADING
Re-read your annotations and your outline
Follow your opening statement lead. Avoid extensive and pointless
introductions.
Follow your outline. Base the development of your piece on it: ONE IDEA, ONE
PARAGRAPH
Avoid showing merely comprehension of the text.
Evidence comprehension of the extract by commenting/interpreting the
purpose of literary devices (if present) but avoid purposeless lengthy
summaries of the extract.
Avoid writing about what you are writing. Develop the point
Use appropriate register (literary terms, technical expressions) to justify your
points of analysis
Integrate sensible and sound examples and quotes (avoid lengthy quotations)
where necessary.
Review the main ideas of your paragraphs; make sure they follow a coherent
line of thought.
Write your conclusion based on your closing statement.

RECOMMENDATIONS AND GUIDANCE FOR TEXT ANALYSIS

(FROM IBO SUBJECT REPORT EXAMINERS; NOVEMBER 07)

Candidates’ ability to integrate REFERENCES AND EXAMPLES varies from NONE

to somewhere IN THE MIDDLE range.
Candidates STRUGGLE TO DEAL WITH TONE. This is particularly apparent at
Standard Level, where most candidates need more assistance with
IDENTIFICATION AND UNDERSTANDING OF TONE. It is often confused with
MOOD.
Candidates should AVOID A SIMPLE LISTING OF STYLISTIC DEVICES WITHOUT A
DESCRIPTION OF THEIR PURPOSE AND EFFECTS.
ILLEGIBLE HANDWRITING CONTINUES TO BE A SOMEWHAT OF A PROBLEM and
candidates should be encouraged to write their practice commentaries by
hand.
Candidates should AVOID WRITING LENGTHY INTRODUCTIONS AND
DIGRESSIONS (deviation from the central point).
Candidates SHOULD CAREFULLY READ INSTRUCTIONS.
Greater ATTENTION MUST BE DIRECTED TO PARAGRAPHING, SPELLING,
GRAMMAR AND SYNTAX.

OVERALL COMMENT
Although many candidates showed themselves able to produce a reasonably
cogent, organized, and well-written essay, a significant number struggled
because of a poor command of English. Clearly, there are still some students
who are inappropriately placed in English A2. English B could be a more
appropriate and successful choice for them.
 EXERCISE
Analyse the following text. Comment on the ways the author uses elements such as
structure, tone, images and other stylistic devices to communicate purpose.

Outlook for bears is “bleak”

WWF says the loss of wild habitats threatens survival of the carnivores
PAUL BROWN

The outlook for wild bears is bleak – and even the survival of some species outside
zoos is in doubt, according to Bears in The Wild, a report published last week by the
World Wild Fund for Nature.
They were one of the world’s most numerous and successful big carnivores, with
5 eight species adapted to survival in different climates from the far north to south of the
equator. Gradually, they are being exterminated over large parts of the earth
According to the report, the brown bear is likely to disappear in Western Europe,
having been reduced to just six tiny populations. The most vulnerable groups are in
France, Spain, and Italy, where they are unlikely to recover unless augmented by bears
10 from other populations to ensure breeding success.
The survival of the bear in Europe is dependent on human attitudes. They are
disappearing because of the loss of wild places, particularly forests, and are in conflict
with humans because of their attacks on livestock and beekeepers’ hives. Poaching 1 for
body parts for Chinese medicine is also a problem.
15 In Britain bears were once numerous but were wiped out about 2,000 years ago.
France had 300 bears at the end of the First World War but there are now only eight in
the Pyrenees.
Despite its precarious2 position in parts of Europe, the brown bear’s position is in
some senses improving because of conservation efforts. But in other parts of the world
20 where human population pressure is greater, the bear’s future is more precarious. The
Mexican grizzly is believed to be extinct, and the panda, WWF’s logo, is struggling for
survival in China despite attempts to protect it.
Four species, the sun bear (southern Asia), the Asiatic black bear, the sloth bear
(Indian subcontinent) and the spectacled bear (central and South America) are poorly
studied, but all are known to be on the retreat.
The polar bear is in trouble for different reasons – global warming is reducing the
arctic icepack, which it needs for hunting, and pollution is a problem because
chemicals are stored in the body fat, reducing the bears’ ability to breed.

From The Guardian Weekly, July 27, 1999 Edition

1 poaching: hunting illegally

2 precarious: uncertain or insecure
IB ENGLISH A2 HANDOUT