Kayla Sainati

Proverb Paper

Social Psyc 13

Birds of a Feather Flock Together: Examining Physical Attraction

From a Social Psychological Perspective
When we are asked to describe our girlfriend, boyfriend, friend, or spouse to another
individual, we often use physical characteristics, such as height, eye color, hair color, and smile.
Similarly, when we are asked to tell someone why we are attracted to a certain individual, we use
physical characteristics and non-physical characteristics (smart, funny, good with kids, can cook,
dresses nice, etc.) to highlight why we have feelings for that specific person. While these are
appropriate methods to use when describing a person, could there be something deeper,
something psychological, something cognitively unbeknownst to us, that serves as a driving
force behind our attraction to someone? This paper will focus on the psychological and
biological factors that may be driving our attraction to another individual and relate it to the well
known proverb, birds of a feather flock together. Meaning, those with similarities are more
likely to be attracted to one another than those individuals who are dissimilar.
We often meet and are attracted to people who share similar interests, do similar things,
have a similar sense of humor, or similar mannerisms. Social Psychologists often use the term
implicit egotism to describe such coincidences. Implicit egotism, in essence, says we love
ourselves and we like people who remind us of ourselves. If you think about all the similarities,
likes and dislikes you share with your friends or your partner, this concept is hard to refute.
However, some social psychologists argue that proximity and mere exposure (the idea that tend
to like things we are repeatedly exposed to) are more likely the driving force behind why we like
or prefer certain things. Pelham, Mirenberg, & Jones, 2002, posit that individuals specific
preferences are not a matter of mere exposure, but rather of implicit egotism. We are exposed to
letters and words everyday in virtually everything that we do. Some letters and words, such as
of, the, it, and for, we see more commonly than other words. If mere exposure is

Kayla Sainati

Proverb Paper

Social Psyc 13

occurring, we would expect to see participants rate letters from common words everyday more
favorably than letters from less common words. When we are exposed to letters in our name or
numbers in our date of birth our entire life, we subconsciously begin to prefer those numbers and
letters to others. However, depending upon the letters that make our name, we may be more
frequently exposed to more common letters, such as E & S and less commonly exposed to letters
in our name, such as J & K. For example, an individual named Kayla is more likely be exposed
to more words with E or S (the for example) than letters involving a K. Thus, the mere exposure
to more common letters would select for a preference the common letters. However, if implicit
egotism is the cause of our preference, we would expect to see higher ratings for less common
letters in English words. Pelham, Mirenberg, & Jones, 2002, performed self-assessments asking
participants to rate the letters of the alphabet as preferred or unpreferred, allowing for the
researchers to assess whether name-letter preferences occurred even when peoples initials were
rare. Some of the most frequently used letters (E & S) were used as comparison to statistically
rare letters (J, K, Q, W, X, and Z). They found that individuals with statistically rare letters in
their first and last name preferred the less common letters seen in their name to the more
common letters. Men preferred letters that were in their last name and women preferred letters in
their first name. The authors suggest this is likely due to men identifying themselves with their
last name, whereas women prefer their first name because this is likely the only name that will
not change when she marries. Results conclude that mere exposure is not the cause of letter
preference, rather implicit egotism is responsible. Extrapolating this to physical attraction, one
could infer that because we clearly prefer things that remind us of ourselves, arguably more than
being merely exposed to a stimulus multiple times, we would be attracted to individuals who

Kayla Sainati

Proverb Paper

Social Psyc 13

share common interests, look similar to ourselves or have a similar personality. Thus supporting,
the commonly used proverb: Birds of a Feather Flock Together.
In order to provide additional support the use of implicit egotism to drive decisions
individuals make, Pelham, Mirenberg, & Jones, 2002, furthered their research by using archival
information from several databases. A series of ten studies were conducted, each searching for
various ways in which people use implicit egotism to make life decisions. For example, the name
of the state or city you live in, your profession, and how our life decisions relate to ourselves (i.e.
our name). Researchers found that women named Mildred or Virginia tended to gravitate to
cities that resemble their names, such as Milwaukee and Virginia Beach. Similar results were
found for men named Jack and Philip. Men with the aforementioned name tended to gravitate
toward cities such as Jacksonville and Philadelphia. Further studies evaluating the professions
that individuals choose also showed an overwhelming number of careers and occupations, such
as dentists and lawyers have an overwhelming number of professionals named Denise, Dennis,
Dena, Denny, Lawrence, Lance and Larry. This information strongly suggests that we are
attracted to jobs and locations that remind us of ourselves. Critiques again suggest that mere
exposure may explain this data. For example, parents named their children Virginia, Mildred,
Philip, George or Georgia because they happen to live in that state and are frequently exposed to
the name and thus naming their child accordingly. This is a valid rebuttal, however Pelham,
Mirenberg, & Jones, 2002 examined such a coincidence by pulling the number of birth
certificates of individuals born in a specific city or state to the number of people with the same
name currently living in that city. For example, there is a proportion of 0.005469 of people
named Paul in the US and a 0.005445 of them live in a city, such as St. Paul. Using Social
Security Numbers and Birth Certificate records, they found that approximately 120,000 people

Kayla Sainati

Proverb Paper

Social Psyc 13

had moved to cities with the name Paul (Pelham, Mirenberg, & Jones, 2002). Therefore, the idea
of mere exposure explaining such results is not valid. If implicit egotism can be used to make
major life decisions, such as where we live or the profession we choose, its probable that
implicit egotism may also drive who we become physically attracted to and ultimately form a
relationship. This phenomenon in social psychology may explain why partners often look very
similar to one another and, in some cases, look like brother and sister, as opposed to husband and
wife. The other persons physical features remind us of our own, thus through the use of implicit
egotism, increases our attraction to that individual.
In addition to the research done by Pelham, Mirenberg, & Jones, 2002, other researchers
such as Locke & Horowitz 1990, have conducted similar studies related to implicit egotism; thus,
increasing the validity and reliability. Locke & Horowitz 1990 conducted studies measuring the
satisfaction of interpersonal interactions among dysphoric and non-dysphoric individuals. A
series of surveys were conducted among participants measuring the dysphoria of individuals.
Participants were then lumped into two groups based on their survey scores. Participants were
then assigned to interact with either a similar person (dysphoric/dysphoric or non-dysphoric/nondysphoric) or dissimilar people (dysphoric/non-dysphoric). The participants were asked to pick a
conversation topic from a set list and take turns in a discussion. After the interaction, they rated
one another on several scales including level of similarity and pleasantness of the conversation.
Results showed that those who interacted with someone with a similar level of dysphoria or nondysphoria rated the conversation as more pleasant. They also indicated that they preferred
interactions with individuals who had similar moods than those who had dissimilar moods.
Researchers concluded that implicit egotism, liking something that reminds us of ourselves, is

Kayla Sainati

Proverb Paper

Social Psyc 13

why these individuals preferred to interact with someone who had a similar melancholy, further
supporting the idea that birds of a feather flock together.
Attraction is not as simple as being purely psychological. The biological field of Animal
Behavior demonstrates that attraction to a mate is, in fact, biological. Humans are the only
animal that uses higher order thinking in choosing a mate, requiring similarities beyond
evolution and genetics. Several biological studies involving mice have found that mate selection
is highly dependent upon the major histocompatibility (MHC) complex. The MHC complex is
critical in binding foreign antigens and initiating an immune response. These receptors are
genetic, making a combination of genes from your mother and father, giving offspring a unique
set of MHC complexes. Several studies in mice have found that MHC complexes are excreted in
their urine, allowing for other mice to determine MHC diversity through scent and differentiate
kin from non-kin. Under laboratory conditions, previously genotyped mice paired and mated
with mice that were genotypically diverse in MHC complexes. Evolutionarily, scientists believe
mice mate with a genotypically diverse mate in order to increase their offsprings diversity and
chances of survival. Thornhill, et al. found that humans often pair using the method.
Replicating a study previously performed by Wedekind & Furi 1997, Thornhill and
colleagues a cheek swab was obtained from each participant and genotyped for the MHC
complex. Each participant, male and female, were then given a plain white t-shirt and an
assortment of scentless hygiene products. The participants were instructed to wear the shirt while
they slept for two evenings. The participants were to eliminate all scents by washing their sheets
in scentless detergent and using the hygiene products provided. The participants were also to
abstain from sexual activity on the evenings they wore the shirts. After two nights of wearing, the
participants were to bag and return the shirts to the researchers. Participants were then asked to

Kayla Sainati

Proverb Paper

Social Psyc 13

smell the t-shirts and rate them based on attractiveness and intensity. Responses were then
correlated to the genotyped MHC complex. Results indicate men and women at the prime age for
procreation found the scents of t-shirts, worn by the opposite sex, with dissimilar MHC
complexes were favored over those that had similar MHC complexes. (Thornhill, Gangestad,
Miller, Scheyd, McCoullough & Franklin, 2003). Thus, disproving the proverb birds of a
feather flock together and providing support for opposites attract. However, upon further
analysis, research indicated that younger men and women preferred the scents of t-shirts, worn
by the opposite sex that had similar MHC complexes to themselves. The same was true for older
men and women (Thornhill, Gangestad, Miller, Scheyd, McCoullough & Franklin, 2003).
Indicating, we prefer similarity over dissimilarity to ourselves at all times in our lives, expect for
during childbearing years. This study, while slightly supports the opposite proverb, provides
further support for the proverb, birds of a feather flock together. In isolated laboratory
conditions, Thornhill and colleagues found that individuals prefer dissimilarity when considering
genetics, supporting the idea of providing an evolutionary advantage, via diversity, to offspring.
However, under natural conditions, we likely prefer gene dissimilarity when choosing a mate,
but we rely more heavily on initial similarities, including similarities that would suggest implicit
egotism is being utilized.
Based on the evidence provided, birds of a feather do flock together. This phenomenon is
likely due to implicit egotism. We are attracted to things and people that remind us of our own
selves. This is evident letter preference, making life altering decisions (marriage, moving, career
path) and genetics. Critics of implicit egotism have argued that mere exposure is more likely.
However, I believe this to be a weak argument because, if we apply mere exposure to opposites
attract, we would like things and people that are opposite of us because of the exposure. In a

Kayla Sainati

Proverb Paper

Social Psyc 13

given day, we experience more things and people that are opposite to us, which would imply a
preference for the dissimilar things (for example, aforementioned letter selection study).
However, we continuously choose the things and people that are similar to ourselves. Even at our
very genetic core, we search (when not of childbearing age) for individuals who are genetically
similar to ourselves, providing strong evidence for the proverb birds of a feather flock together.

References
Jones, J. T., Pelham, Mirenberg, & Jones, 2002, B. W., Mirenberg, M. C., and Hetts, J.J. (2001).
Name letter preferences are not merely mere exposure: Implicit egotism as selfregulation.Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 170-177.
Locke & Horowitz 1990, K. D. & Horowitz, L. M., (1990). Satisfaction in interpersonal
interactions as a function of similarity in level of dysphoria. Journal of Personality and
Social Psychology, 58(5), 823-831.
Pelham, Mirenberg, & Jones, 2002, B. W., Mirenberg, M. C., & Jones, J. T., (2002). Why susie
sells seashells by the seashore: Implicit egotism and major life decisions. Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, 82(4), 469-487.
Thornhill, R., Gangestad, S. W., Miller, R., Scheyd, G., McCoullough, J. K., & Franklin, M.
(2003). Major histocompatibility complex genes, symmetry, and body scent attractiveness in
men and women.Behavioral Ecology, 14(5), 668-678.
Wedekind, C., & Furi, S. (1997). Body odor preference in men and women: Do they aim for
specific mhc combinations or simply heterozygosity. Proceedings of the Royal Society
B, 264, 1471-1479.