May 2015 Issue

The senior
diaries
THE CHASE FOR
THAT INDIE
TEENAGEHOOD

TIPS FOR
FRESH
FRESHMAN

What John Hughes and Sofia

Coppolla got right

What Ive
Learned Over the
Course of High
School

HIGHSCHOOL
LOVE

Mid -life
crisis at 17

What does it all really mean?

Where do we
go from here?

Written by Iris Kim

Photos: Taken by Iris Kim
unless stated otherwise

CONTENTS

04
THE CHASE FOR THAT
INDIE TEENAGE-HOOD

What John Hughes and Sofia Coppolla got right.

08

TIPS FOR FRESH FRESHMAN

Or rather, what Ive learned over the
course of highschool.

12

HIGHSCHOOL LOVE

What does it all really mean?

20
HOME AWAY FROM HOME

The rhythm of New York City and my

undying love for it.

24
THANK YOU, HIGHSCHOOL

A thanks to those who were part of

my life from freshman to senior year.

16

WHERE DO WE GO FROM
HERE?
My mid-life crisis at seventeen.

EDITORIAL

LETS MAKE THE MOST OF THIS YEAR

One morning Im being dropped
off infront of a school with
braces and a variety of pimples
randomnly placed on my face.
Scared, confused, and lost as
hell. And now, well, now nothings really changed except for
the braces (hooray for overpriced straight teeth). Weve
made it, weve finally made it;
we are seniors. Weve sacrificed
our first borns for that asian
average, avoided that ridiculous late policy by forging notes
from our beloved moms, and
concerned fathers, weve suffered through the pain staking
career talks, and survived our
mid-life crisis at the age of 18.
Weve earned the prestigious,
intimidating, title of seniors.

And now we have to find our

place in the world, and whether thats getting an internship at the theatre company
youve fallen in love with when
you were little, or pursuing
post-secondary school to get
a degree in something you arent really sure youll get a job
in, we are no longer considered
children. Its up to us to decide, Its up to us to shape who
we are and who we want to be.
So with that, I wish to end this
year with a collection of my
thoughts, bundled up in this senior diary. Seniors, lets make
the most of this year.

THE CHASE
FOR THAT
INDIE
TEENAGEHOOD

Living in the spectacular now

I wish my life was like

a coming-of-age indie film. There, I said it. I said what
everyone else is too scared to say. I want
my life to have the most folksy-alternative soundtrack there ever is, I want that
John Hughes, Say Anything moment with
a John Cusack looking hunk standing outside my window with a stereo, that Steven
Chobosky, Perks of Being a Wallflower nostalgic vibe, that John Green star-crossed
love, and that iconic Sofia Coppola colour
palette.

The Breakfast Club

by John Hughes

Indie Teenagehood: Note passing during math class, sneaking out while your parents are asleep, night drives with the car-roof off, chats at your locker in between classes
about your crush who smiled at you during fourth period, and that feeling of endless anticipation. As though anything can happen, and that the world revolves around you and
only you. In a way, I think I may have achieved this. No way is it comparable to any of John
Hughes films, but its my own, and I wouldnt want it any other way. I dont know how I just
realized it, but its comparable to the credits at the end of a film. The black screen appears
and the credits start rolling, leaving me there with pensive music and time to take in what
I just experienced after four years of being in highschool.

Theres a type of freedom that comes
with being a teenager. During class one
day my friend texted me asking if I wanted
to go to the beach and I didnt even have
to think twice about it; I was going whether
my Biology teacher was teaching the most
important lesson of the year or not. On the
car ride there, I thought,I will never feel
this way again. And that thought hurt
me. When else am I going to be able to
see my friends run after seagulls without
the worry of finding a job or being in
debt from

Summer Skin

by Iris Kim

THE SPECTACULAR NOW

When youre 16, youre more serious than youll ever be. You think a lot more
about things you may never think about again. You have to block out a lot of the
big questions when you grow up, I think, so you can deal with the everyday stuff.
And also, when youre a kid, everythings real tragic. When something happens
to you, it happens deeply.

-John Hughes

student loans running aimlessly in my

head? Im not.

Theres a reason why people call
teenagehood the golden days or the
best four years of your life. Its because of
that child-ish sense of excitement coursing
through our veins all the time. We get electrified when someone invites us to Maceys party on Friday, or when our favourite
song comes on in the car.
6

We approach things that scare and confuse us, we question things and study
them, we fall in love carelessly, dream ambitiously, and get drunk off of hope. Teenagehood is something that we cant define
because its something that you cant read,
its something you have to live through to
understand.

Kids Again
Hoora Emami, Greg Waburton, Maricar Paraiso

people think were crazy

And
. Parents ask us why we dye
our hair a certain colour, why we go out so often, or why we stay in so often.
They think that were goons, underachievers, trouble-makers, rebels, and
sometimes that is the case, but it all comes down to one certain reason as
to why we do what we do; because we simply just god damn want to, mom,
Principal. Johnson, Aunt Debby. We just want to.

The Golden Grin

Frasia Morrison

TIPS FOR
FRESHFRESHMAN
Im

not really sure any freshman will be reading this magazine, but this article is more
so the things that Ive learned over the course of high school. Here are a few words I wish I received when I was in grade nine.

1) Work Wisely

You always hear people telling other people to work hard, but, its really about
using the time you have to your greatest advantage. Time is money, be smart with it. Time
managing is such an essential part of life, you must get friendly with it in order to control
it, manipulate it, and not let it whip you in the ass. Good things take time and it feels good
to be done a project in advance rather than finishing it at 3 A.M. the morning of.

2) Become Friends with Your Teachers

Sometimes its hard to realize that your

teachers are human beings too. Harsh, but
true. But they are more than just the lessons
they teach, or how many assignments they
thrust upon you. Talk to them, ask them how
their summer vacation was, or if theyre a dog
or cat person. Having a good connection with
your teachers makes high school so much
more enjoyable and not to mention, memorable. Make the effort, maybe once you graduate you can have your Chem teacher as a Facebook friend and see all of the nerdy memes
they post!

More Than Just a Cup

Made by Jacob Logan

3) Be Brilliant, Be Strong


Raise your hand when you have a ques-

tion, raise your hand when you know the answer. Raise your hand even when you think
you know the answer. Do it. Do not be afraid
of how people will percieve you. You are in
school for your education, not theirs. Answer
your teachers question because you are engaged in the lesson and answer it with insight
and depth. Its okay if your opinion clashes
with someone else, say it any way, life would
be too boring if everyone thought the same.
Be brilliant, be strong.

Staying Golden, Ponyboy

The Golden Ghost

When in Spare
Ted Lownie

4) Put Things in Perspective

If you do poorly on this paper, is it going to ruin you? Your entire future? The answer:
No, not at all. Sometimes you try really hard and dont get the result you were expecting,
or sometimes things come up and it ends up draining all that energy and excitement you
have left towards writing the symbolism of Blood in Macbeth, whatever the case may be;
its alright if you didnt do your best. Life goes on and new chances arise.

Krystyna is sad that she got an 85% on an essay. Dont be like

Krystyna.

10

5) Embrace the Weirdness

I think something Ive always wish I could
have done is shake some of the people at my
school and tell them, Its okay to be weird, you
dont have to conform!!! But since that would be
considered rude by societys rules, I chose not to.
The word, weird is all a social construct. All of
us are weird, were all just good at hiding it (some
more than others). So what you love K-Pop and
know all the words to the hit, Troublemaker? So
what you love chess and are the captain of the
team? Embrace it, it makes you who you are.

6) Stay Away From the Drama (the

Trash)

I dont care how fun and exciting they make
it look in Gossip Girl,
It is uneccessary, pointless and a way to ruin great
relationships. Keep a level-head and focus on the
important things (things that dont involve whos
kissing who), because its none of your business
and everyone should have the right to privacy.

drama is not fun.

7) Dont Forget Me Time

In the beginning of high school I was so focused on having social plans all. the. time. If I didnt have

fear of missing out

Fear of being alone

plans Friday night it was absolutely imperative that I did because of the
(FOMO). Fear that I was going to miss out on the best night ever, fear that I was going to miss an oppurtunity
on meeting the love of my life, my new best friend.
while all my friends
were out, but Im realizing that FOMO has it all wrong. If youre meant to be somewhere, you will be there.
Things cant be forced, neither can be moments. Its alright to decline invitations, you dont have to feel obligated to go to an event you dont want to. Sometimes its alright being alone (you also dont have to share
your food with anyone that way).

11

Highschool
Love
Sandy and Danny.
Troy and Gabriella.
Kat and Patrick.
Cher and Josh.
Jake and Samantha.
Ferris and Sloane.

Dont lie, we all know you want it (or wanted

it). You want that cheesier than cheese pizza type of
relationship, those kisses infront of lockers, and the
cheeky texts during class. I mean how could you
not? Its in our nature as humans to be driven by
love. Its why we have marriage ceremonies and
why Nicholas Sparks novels are so popular.

But love itself is hard enough to define, isnt
it? I mean when it comes down to it, we all want the
same thing- to be loved.

12

SweetheartSoundtrack:
Barry Louis Polisar - All I Want
Is You
City and Colour - The Girl
Kimya Dawson - Loose Lips
The Lumineers - Stubborn Love
Coldplay - Yellow
Ezra Vine - Celeste
Hozier - Jackie and Wilson
The Naked and Famous - Girls
Like You
The Killers - Here With Me
The Smiths - Please, Please,
Please Let Me Get What I Want
Vance Joy - Snaggletooth
Regina Spektor - Hero
The Moldy Peaches - Anyone
Else But You

When I was going into grade nine, I wanted a boyfriend. It was actually pretty sad how much I wanted one. I wanted to go on cute ice cream dates, I wanted him to teach me how to ride a long board, I wanted
him to take me to the movies, buy me cute clothes, you name it, I wanted it. And then, the perfect thing
happened. On the second day of highschool, I walked into my science class and saw the most attractive
guy with the most luscious, silky Bieber cut (it was the absolute shit back in 2011) with an empty desk next
to him. A perfect candidate for Iris desperate, pathetic quest. When he handed me a sheet, I looked into
those deep brown eyes and that neon hat of his and thought, This is it. This is going to be my highschool
boyfriend. My highschool hubby. People will see us and think we were the cutest god damn thing theyve
ever laid eyes on. Oh god, Im cringing just thinking about this. A few days later Bieber boy and I start
talking some more and he asks me for my number, and from what my little grade nine brain can decode,
I determine that hes interested in me. Boys dont send girls hearts if they arent interested... right? Nope!
Noppe-itty, nope-itty, nope! Turns out he had a thing with another girl for a little bit, and I had to sit beside
them for the rest of the year while they flirted in my science class. *sigh*

13

It wasnt until many failed friendships/flings did I realize that I was aiming for something thats actually really pitiful. A co-dependent relationship. A relationship where I felt I needed to have someone else or
I wouldnt be able to function. A relationship where I needed someone almost too much. It was the idea of
having a boyfriend that I liked, not the legitimacy of it.

My goals in a relationship have completely changed throughout the course of highschool. Its not
about the guy any more, its about the guy and me. Its about us. Its Im doing life by myself right now and
if you would like to join me, you are welcome to. If not, carry on.

People get so caught up on the other person that they forget about themselves. Which is fine,
because being self-less is a great trait to have, but youre important too. I cant tell you the countless times
Ive witnessed people wait for a text in order to be happy. Or a phone call. Or even just any sign of communication. A relationship should be natural with two lovers having genuine feelings towards each other,
even if theyre unsure whats going to happen next. People fail to see that when theyre invested in someone
because they get so caught up on how the other person perceives them, What happened to love? When
people werent afraid to double-text? Call each other? Or be spontaneous and show up infront of the persons house with plans for the evening? Why, all of a sudden, do we have to be subtle about our feelings?

Secrets in the Library

Krystyna Oakman and Jacob Logan

14

 Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain.
People are irrational. - Hugh Mackay

High school is a vulnerable time for students and when a relationship is thrown into that
factor, it makes things even more scary. Everyones
scared of rejection, but rejection has never killed
anybody. I find that liking someone gives me courage, which is why I allow myself to be excited when
I fall for a new guy, even if I know that rejection is a
possibility. Sometimes you just have to say, Damn
it, I like you. And maybe you dont like me, but this
is me recognizing that Im interested in you. Lets
go out for ice cream- or something. Ive done this
before, and it is one of the most cathartic things
Ive ever had the pleasure of doing. Maybe that ice
cream date will turn into a huge disaster, or maybe
itll be one of the best dates youve ever been on.
Either way, you learn something from it. So house
those stomach butterflies and ask that girl youve
been crushing on since freshman year.

15

16

WHERE DO
WE GO FROM
HERE?
A Very Sporadic Piece Written on My Mid-Life
Crisis at Seventeen

When youre young, you want to be these big

things; an astronaut, a singer, etc. And then you grow
up, and things change. You realize that youre actually
really bad at science and your dreams of becoming part
of NASA are ruined. You shrug your shoulders and turn
to singing, but your voice is alright, and being alright
isnt good enough if you want to make it big on the big
stage.

And then you suddenly become an alright person thats alright at things.

And worst of all, youre alright with it.

You see other people your age doing great, extravagent things that you doubt you could ever do, so
you watch on the side-lines, routing for them, thinking,
How did I get this average? How can people this young
be so sure of themselves, while Im not sure about much
at all?

Suddenly, its high-school graduation and youre
off to another city, another province, another country for
school. And you start to wonder if youll ever make anything of yourself because the world is just one huge play
that you arent sure youre good enough to land a significant role in.

17


Ive been told many times that Im good at certain things. But why is it, that no matter how many
times Im told this, I dont feel this way? My doubt is my voice of reason. It questions if Im good enough to
do things, and why Im doing things.

I think everyone has this. When I ask people what they want to do in the future, they kind of just
shrug and say I have no clue. This gives me a sense of comfort because its a reminder that no one has it
figured out. We kind of all feel lost, but its a communal lost. Were all secretly clinging to the comfort of our
own beds in the familiar homes we grew up in. Im going to miss that stain on my wall that my friend accidently smeared at my fifth grade birthday party, or the quietness of the house every Sunday morning, but I
want to move on to bigger things.

Where will we be this time next year? What will we be like? Will we keep in touch with each other?
Fall apart? Will anyone of us really know what were doing? No? What about when were fourty and have
children? Will we then?

18

When the Night Says Hello

Lindsay Pallo

This whole year has been one fleeting, ephemeral moment. One big haze. That one football game
where I lost my voice, that one performance where we gave it our all, that one night, that one kiss, Im
never going to forget it. But theres an art in being nervous or feeling small; it gives you a chance to make
something of yourself. And it may seem weird, but I cant wait to walk down those University hallways
where no one knows my name.

Twilight
Lindsay Pallo and Iris Kim

19

Practically everybody in New York has

half a mind to write a book- and does.

-Groucho Marx

HOME AWAY
FROM HOME
20


Im never been in love
with anything more than I
have New York City.

Its the island of misfits, the

weirdos that dreamed too big, and
fell too hard. They were shunned
and frowned upon for their endless
ambition but instead of sticking to
the status quo, they decided to start
a civilization where artistic freedom
and failure was celebrated. Romanticized, even. It is home to those
whose rise was built upon their failure. They are the ones who make
game-changing films, critically- acclaimed novels, and iconic fashion
styles. You will pass them in this gridlock- structured city and look at them
like a piece of art. A masterpiece that
goes beyond the word, pretty. Because they werent put on this planet
to be pretty, they were put on this
planet to move mountains. You will
walk past these New Yorkers and finally understand why its known for
being the unique city it is.

Photos : Iris Kim

21

I believe in New Yorkers.

Whether theyve ever questioned the dream in which

they live, I wouldnt know,
because I wont ever dare
ask that question.

-Dylan Thomas

22

THE SOUND
OF NEW
YORK
Wayne Newton - Danke Schoen
LCD Soundsystem - New York, I
Love You But Youre Bringing Me
Down
Frank Sinatra - New York, New York
Foster The People - Houdini
The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
Peter, Bjorn and John - Young Folks
The Cure- Friday, Im In Love
Madonna - Ray of Light

23

thank you

THANK
YOU
24

A thanks to everyone and everything involved in my life

during the grades of nine to twelve.

Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Larsen for not grading our art proj-

Thank you, sister, for leaving me in the middle of

ects based on how aesthetically pleasing they were

the hallway on the first, terrifying day of highschool.

because mine were everything but that.

Thank you, Ive, for sitting next to me in English.

Thank you, JK. Rowling, for writing the Harry Potter

Thank you, Alana, for smiling at me in Art class.

series, inspiring me to be more like Hermione ev-

Thank you, Jessie, for owning that horse belt of

ery day.

yours that I always made fun of.

Thank you, Ms. Coward, for making grade nine

Thank you, Ms. Bloomfield, for teaching my English

french bearable.

class freshman year.

Thank you, Tom Grainger and the rest of Parliament

Thank you, Central Music, for making me appre-

for setting up a Harry Potter semi-formal, my fresh-

ciate string music much more than I wouldve if I

man year, making me more excited to go out for a

went to my home school.

role in Parliament.

25

Thank you, coffee, for getting me through those

early morning rehearsals.
Thank you, Ms. Morland for putting on Monty Pythons, Spamalot last year.
Thank you, to whoever painted this in the practice
room.

Thank you, to all the custodians who get overlooked everyday.

Thank you, parents, for driving me to school every morning
and for putting up with my complaining about school, every
morning.

26

Thank you, to the teachers who havent sent me to the office whenver I was late.
Thank you, Mr. Harris, for teaching philosophy and making me question if this
world is even real.
Thank you, to all my former friends who taught me everything I dont want in a
friendship.
Thank you, to those who taught me what I do.
And of course thank you, for taking the time to read this diary. I wish you all the
best.
Until next time,
Iris Kim

27

THE SENIOR
DIARIES