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LIFE COACHING

Helping one another grow and be fruitful for Christ

www.ncctk.com
LIFE COACHING
One of the most fruitful ministries you can have is being a life coach for other believers in Christ. As a life coach you
have the honor of helping them develop a strong foundation in Christ that they build the rest of their life upon. You
also have the honor of helping them develop the habits that will serve them in building a Christ glorifying life. You
help them grow, overcome sin, discover their divine design and build great relationships. You help them succeed in
work, at home and in their unique ministry.

Life coaching was at the very heart of Jesus ministry while He was on earth. He prayerfully picked 12 men to life coach
and to build His eternal church from. He poured His life into them and they became the start of the lasting legacy of
His life. It was how He fulfilled the Genesis call to be fruitful and multiply. It is also His final command to those who
were coached by Him and all those who would come after them.

Now as Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon who was called Peter, and Andrew his
brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. And He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you
fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed Him. Going on from there He saw two other brothers,
James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and He
called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him. (Matthew 4:18-22 NASB)

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God
blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish
of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:27-28 NASB)

“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. “My Father is
glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have
also loved you; abide in My love. “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My
Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

“These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. (John 15:7-11
NASB)

But the eleven disciples proceeded to Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had designated. When they saw Him,
they worshiped Him; but some were doubtful. And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has
been given to Me in heaven and on earth. “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the
name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I
am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:16-20 NASB)

We are being very fruitful for Christ and fulfilling what he has clearly told us to do when we make disciples through
life coaching. It is very rewarding and often very challenging at the same time. Both the coach and disciple grow
immensely through the process and that’s what makes it so beneficial.

But we are also being faithful to do what needs to be done for the Church to grow when we choose to be a life coach.

You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. The things which you have heard from me in
the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. (2 Timothy 2:1-2
NASB)

Focusing our lives on training faithful men and women is how we reproduce ourselves and rapidly grow the kingdom.
All life coaching is good but life coaching leaders and potential leader is how the kingdom grows fastest…it’s the
difference between addition verses multiplication. Jesus life coached leaders and they by the power of the Holy Spirit
became a movement.

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LIFE COACHING IS DISCIPLESHIP WITH
FOCUSED INTENTIONALITY!
It begins with understanding what the purposes of God are in the person you are coaching and working with the
Holy Spirit on their progressive transformation. The clearer your understanding of what you are coaching them to be
and do, the more effective your coaching will be. It will also create huge buy in from them if they know what you are
doing together, how you are doing it and why you are doing it. Unity of vision creates unity of purpose and a deeper
commitment to the process especially when you are both tempted to bail out.

1. Agree on how long you will do this for and how frequently you will meet. Set a time to meet and stick to it.
2. Agree on what you want to cover and why. Pick study materials that help you achieve your agreed upon
goal and commit to studying them fervently. You get out what you put in.
3. Decide if you want to invite others to do it with you. Sometimes it is best one on one but a life coach
can also take 3-4 people or more through this process together. The mutual sharing by those they are
coaching can really aid the process.

Core Curriculum of Life Coaching


1. Abba Father Relationship; Word and Prayer
2. Identity and Lordship of Jesus Christ
3. Personal Identity in Christ--who does He say you are
4. Character transformation process of the Holy Spirit
5. Purpose for our life on earth in general
6. Building loving relationships that glorify Christ
7. Hurts, Habits and Hang-ups and how to resolve them
8. Hearing God and being led by the Spirit
9. Gifts and Ministry of the Holy Spirit
10. Clarification of your divine design / ministry
11. Strong grasp of major biblical doctrine
12. Stewarding your time, talent and treasure for Christ

There are other things that could easily be added to this core life coaching curriculum but this is such a good start.
To cover this list would require a one year commitment from both coach and disciples. You could cover one topic a
month using both the Bible and the Purpose Driven Life. I find the Gospel of John done with the Purpose Driven Life is
a great way to get started in life coaching. Doing them together gives a rich diet for growth and discussion and allows
you to discuss critical issues about life and being transformed into a real disciple of Jesus Christ. These two could be
done in three months. We also have excellent Life Tracks that you can use for key topics like the Holy Spirit, Shape,
Finances and Maturity. In our Small Group Resource Center there are also all kinds of Bible studies and DVD series you
can chose from to use for life coaching.

Having a clear goal with clear expectations and consequences for failure to participate keeps the value of the
experience worth the cost of involvement. A goal for those who complete life coaching is it to lead others through
it and multiply themselves in others. This only deepens their understanding of how to grow in Christ. Imagine if
someone had done this kind of life coaching in your life? Would that have helped you grow rapidly and become even
more fruitful for Christ? The great thing is that it is not too late. You can be coached and become a coach. Either way
you can grow rapidly and become fruitful for Christ. Where are you honestly?

1. I feel I need to be coached in the following area for me to become a coach.


2. I feel I could coach others if I had the right materials. How would I get started?

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THE LIFE COACHING APPOINTMENT:
Decide how long you will meet for and try to stay close to that time. It takes 60 minutes to 90 minutes to have a good
coaching apt. but you must also put the right things in it. Those are...

1. Honest sharing about how both of you are doing?


2. Looking at scripture together that you have already studied and sharing reflections from the study.
3. Sharing insights from additional things you are reading like PDL. Expect them to do their homework and
hold them to it.
4. Answering questions that have arisen through study or life experiences but not turning your time into
a counseling appt. When deep issues surface check with a pastor and they can help you find the right
counselor for this issue.
5. Confessing temptation and even sin as trust builds in your relationship. This is so freeing and deeply bonds
you to one another.
6. Asking how they are doing in their development of key life habits and skills…ie hearing God, prayer,
witnessing.
7. Praying together for one another. You are modeling to them how to pray so remember that you are giving
them a pattern. Share prayer requests and ask them about them when you see each other. Expect God to
answer those prayers as He sees best and use that as part of the coaching experience.

Life coaching is helping people connect to Christ in an intimate and personal way for a lifetime of effective
transformation, relationships, ministry and work. All fruitfulness comes out of abiding in Christ and submitting to His
Lordship. The deeper we know Him the greater our influence is for Him. As a life coach you are also committing to
an ever deepening relationship with Christ so you can give to others what you are receiving. Life in you begets life in
others. You are a “life “coach not a knowledge coach, or a common sense coach, or personal experience coach even
though God will use all three to help you coach others. Receive the life only Christ can give and pass it on to those you
coach for Him.

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LIFE COACHING WEEK TWO
The goal of life coaching is to help the person you coach develop an intimate personal relationship with God their
Father where they can receive all they need to live a victorious life in Christ. It is their personal connection to God the
Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit that supplies everything they need to live their divine design and help
others to do the same. An effective life coach then seeks to connect the person they are coaching to God primarily as
their life coach not themselves. They help whom they are coaching learn the skill of dynamic dependency on the Holy
Spirit and how to seek God and His Word for everything they need. It’s the difference between feeding someone fresh
food daily from your supply or teaching them how to find fresh food for themselves so they can feed themselves and
others. It is like the old saying, “ It’s better to teach people how to fish for themselves than to feed them daily. That way
they can be fed for a lifetime.” One way to do this is to help them learn the dynamic process of seeking God about real
life decisions that we all face daily. Our goal is not to give them our answer or opinion which creates dependency on
us but to teach them how to seek God and hear Him for themselves.

Here is one way to help people develop this skill and make great life decisions:

1. Believe God wants to give you the wisdom you need to make excellent life choices. John 8:12; James 1:5-8
2. Seek Him fervently and persistently and even fast if you struggle to hear Him. Matthew 7: 7-11
3. Understand and use all the ways He wants to guide you but make your decisions placing the greatest
weight on what is objective not subjective. (See attached sheet.)
4. Show them how to search God’s Word for clarity on the decision they are considering.
5. Show them how to pray in faith for the insight they need to make a great decision. Help them learn how to
hear the Holy Spirit clearly as you review the characteristics of His voice. (See attached sheet)
6. Have them share what they are learning and hearing as they seek God and His Word. Affirm the process
they are embracing even if they are struggling and encourage pressing through to peace and clarity. Don’t
rescue them from the pain of the process but strengthen them to persevere until clarity comes. Redirect
them if they are going down a wrong path but encourage them that God is in this pursuit with them.
7. When they make a decision, ask them how they arrived at it. Review with them the process they went
through and what weight they gave to key components of good decision making.
• God’s Word
• Godly Counsel
• Illumination by the Holy Spirit
• Circumstances
• Their Desires
8. If they are making a great decision for the right reasons, really affirm them and the process they went
through. If they are not making a good decision graciously review how they came to that decision and
encourage them to rethink it given the input you provide. Ask them to postpone making the decision until
they have had a chance to review what you suggested and talk it through once more. Pray for them!
9. If they persist in a bad decision, give them another exhortation to reconsider but remember God taught
you through your mistakes and can also do the same with them.
10. Tailor your coaching to help them correct their process if it needs to change but also affirm what positive
steps they are making in hearing God and making great life decisions. The process becomes the pattern
for a life time of decisions so changing the process is absolutely vital to changing a life.

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HOW GOD SPEAKS TODAY
1. Study His Word:
Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. (Psalm 119:105 NLT)

2. Listen to His Spirit:


When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he
has heard. He will tell you about the future. He will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me. (John
16:13-14 NLT)

3. Worship Him and Seek Him:


A psalm of David, regarding the time he pretended to be insane in front of Abimelech, who sent him away. I will
praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless
take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt his name together. I prayed to the Lord, and he
answered me. He freed me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:1-4 NLT)

4. As His Word is Taught and Proclaimed:


“So let everyone in Israel know for certain that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, to be both Lord and
Messiah!” Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, “Brothers, what should
we do?” Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus
Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. This promise is to you, and
to your children, and even to the Gentiles—all who have been called by the Lord our God.” Then Peter continued
preaching for a long time, strongly urging all his listeners, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation!” Those
who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day—about 3,000 in all. (Acts 2:36-41
NLT)

5. Spirit filled fellowship and gift use by other believers:


God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you
have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of
helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to
God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen. (1 Peter 4:10-11 NLT)

6. Spirit given dreams, visions and revelations:


In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your
young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams. In those days I will pour out my Spirit even on my
servants—men and women alike— and they will prophesy. (Acts 2:17-18 NLT)

7. His Amazing Creation:


But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness.
They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created,
people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—
his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they
wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was
like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools.
(Romans 1:18-22 NLT)

8. Spirit led circumstances and confirmations:


Then Gideon said to God, “If you are truly going to use me to rescue Israel as you promised, prove it to me in this way.
I will put a wool fleece on the threshing floor tonight. If the fleece is wet with dew in the morning but the ground is
dry, then I will know that you are going to help me rescue Israel as you promised.” And that is just what happened.
When Gideon got up early the next morning, he squeezed the fleece and wrung out a whole bowlful of water. Then
Gideon said to God, “Please don’t be angry with me, but let me make one more request. Let me use the fleece for one
more test. This time let the fleece remain dry while the ground around it is wet with dew.” So that night God did as
Gideon asked. The fleece was dry in the morning, but the ground was covered with dew. (Judges 6:36-40 NLT)

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TEN CHARACTERISTICS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT’S VOICE
1. Consistent with the Word of God – Never contradicts the revelation the Holy Spirit inspired in the
Word of God.
2. Clean even when it is piercing – No condemnation in it even when He convicts us of sin, a wrong
decision or the negative consequences of taking a certain action.
3. Creates liberating clarity of illumination where there has been confusion, uncertainty, or even deep
vexation.
4. Comforts us to the core of our being, even when circumstances don’t change, and produces peace
that passes understanding.
5. Causes courage to well up in us despite challenges we know we will face as we obey His voice.
6. Creates confident faith about what He is speaking to us about, and we believe that what He said –
He will do!
7. Controls my “fleshy reaction” and dispenses to me the fruit I need to respond as Christ would in that
situation.
8. Causes caution and restraint to rule my decision even when I don’t know why, because I sense
something is not right or the timing is off; the Holy Spirit speaks all three – Stop, Wait, Go.
9. Calls us to increasing holiness and wholeness without hopelessness, knowing He is able to
transform us and change in us what is humanly impossible for us to change.
10. Confirms or contests a decision we have made or are making so that we can have what He knows
is best.

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GREAT DECISION MAKING GOD’S WAY
What was one of the best decisions that you have ever made?

How did you make it? What was the process you used?

What was one of the worst decisions you made? How did you make that decision?

How do you honestly make major decisions today?


Study God’s Word 1 2 3 4 5
Pray fervently about it 1 2 3 4 5
Fast for a period of time 1 2 3 4 5
Seek Godly Counsel 1 2 3 4 5
Ask for Confirmation 1 2 3 4 5
Receive special revelation 1 2 3 4 5
Ask God to test my motivation 1 2 3 4 5
Trust my own wisdom and chose 1 2 3 4 5

How clearly and consistently do you hear God speaking to you? 1 2 3 4 5

How does God most consistently speak to you?


His Word 1 2 3 4 5
In Prayer 1 2 3 4 5
In Fellowship with Other Believers 1 2 3 4 5
Through Dreams, Visions and other revelations 1 2 3 4 5
Through preaching and teaching of God’s Word 1 2 3 4 5
While you worship 1 2 3 4 5
While enjoying creation 1 2 3 4 5
In your everyday work and play 1 2 3 4 5

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LIFE COACHING WEEK THREE
Though the primary role of a life coach is not to be a counselor your appointments will include some counseling. To be
prepared for those important moments let’s review some of the critical dimensions of biblical counseling.

Create an atmosphere of loving transparency in your weekly appointments where it is safe to talk openly about what
you are learning and processing. As the coach initiate and model this transparency and invite it from whom you are
coaching.

Set and maintain a covenant of confidentiality that you all adhere to so everyone knows they can be authentic and
open in all their sharing. Reinforce it regularly so as to ensure deeper sharing.

Come prayerfully to each appointment after spending some time really trying to listen to the Holy Spirit about what
His agenda is for this appointment. This is so vital to everyone’s growth and it focuses your limited time on what He
knows is really most in need of change or development. “ Let him who has ears hear what the Spirit is saying”. He
alone has the words of eternal life and knows best how to make each appointment the most life giving experience. As
you hear and cooperate with what the Holy Spirit is wanting to do, you find your own relationship with the Holy Spirit
growing also and coaching becomes very exciting and rewarding. Nothing is better than the Spirit flowing through
you for His purposes. Listen not only before the appointment but during so you know when to press in deeper and ask
leading questions. The goal is not to get through the material but to work with the Spirit on what He is working on in
the person you are coaching. He is your Counselor as you seek to coach so listening to Him creates life in you and in
whom you are coaching.

Develop the skill of loving listening!


My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
(James 1: 19 NIV)

Loving Listening involves:


Listening to truly understand what the person is sharing. Sometimes you need to ask clarifying questions to really
understand what they are sharing but ask those questions to understand their heart and mind. Seek first to truly
understand without judging them and affirm them as they risk themselves in increasing honesty even exposing sin
and shame.

Listen to feel at times what they felt or are feeling as a result of what they went through or are going through. Let
them know you understand how they feel or felt without trying to fix anything. If appropriate express love physically
with a touch to their shoulder or arm. Identify with their emotion so they understand that you get where they are
coming from.

Listen without any pressure upon yourself to fix their problem or pain or to give them a quick answer. Listen not to be
ready to give a response or share a similar experience but listen to love them with the gift of your undivided attention
and your unconditional acceptance. Resist the temptation to feel you have to share something other than love,
understanding and support. Sometimes just being heard and understood even if they are wrong is the most loving
thing you can do. It frees them more than any answer!

When the person feels they have been heard and understood then you can perhaps share something God has given
you but beware of it being your attempt to fix them or relieve yourself of the pressure you feel to do something
because you are their coach. You already did if you really listened and understood. Give yourself permission to process
more deeply what they shared and to pray about it. This is a continuing journey so think long term not quick fix. Make
sure you end your time expressing your admiration for their openness and your commitment to help them process
this. You may also recommend they talk to a pastor for more insight on who to see to work this through. Know your
own limitations and freely transfer them for help.

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If in your time together you have the opportunity to respond then know that the Holy Spirit will help you do so.
Remember the goal of both biblical coaching and counseling is cooperation with the Holy Spirit in His transformation
of His people into the likeness of Christ. Your response should encourage people to reach out to Christ, to think like
Christ and to act like Christ. We know that is the will of God for all believers.

For whom he foreknew, he also foreordained to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn
among many brethren (Romans 8:29 NASB)

Affirm His ability to meet them in this issue and remind them of scriptures that promise He will do so. He understands
their heart and sees all things clearly and is truly available to help them in their time of need. He brought this issue to
light so He could help them deal with it

For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succor them that are tempted. (Hebrews 2:18 NASB)

For we have not a high priest that cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but one that hath been in
all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore draw near with boldness unto the throne of grace,
that we may receive mercy, and may find grace to help us in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16 NASB)

Encourage them to take the next step to resolve the issue and lovingly hold them accountable to do so.

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GROWTH PLAN FOR THE LIFE COACH
Phil 1:6, 2: 12-13, 3:7-17, 4:8-9,13
To help people grow you need to be growing yourself! You lead others with integrity if you are living what you
are leading them to live and are experiencing with them this dynamic growth process. The best growth comes
from agreeing with the Holy Spirit on what He is working on in your life at this time. I believe He will give focused
intentionality to every area He wants to improve and strengthen. We know from God’s Word and PDL what our life
purposes should be but we need to pray and plan with the Holy Spirit about each critical area and them embrace Him
as our dynamic life coaching partner. Take the list and questions below and ask the Holy Spirit what He wants you to
work on with Him. Getting specific and focused creates expectation, desire, determination and delight when you see
what He does in your life. A growing life coach produces growing disciples in Christ.

PERSONAL GROWTH PLAN


Christ -Like Character and the Fruit of the Spirit
Which of the fruits of the Spirit do people consistently pick from me and which ones are harder to find? What area of
my character needs to be transformed for me to radiate Christ? What attitudes or behaviors would the Holy Spirit love
to work with me on this year?

Daily Intimacy and Dependence


Are my times with God meaningful and growing in clarity in hearing His voice? What would make this divine
appointment more a delight and less a duty? Am I leaving my time with God at rest with direction and faith for my
day? Do I worship, journal, pray in the Spirit and find my Bible reading exciting or satisfying? What do I need guidance
on the most this year?

Spiritual Gift Understanding and Development


Do I know what my gifts are and am I using them to build up the body of Christ and reach the lost? Am I asking for
more gifts and manifestations of the Spirit for His glory? What will I do this year to grow in my gift use? Who could
coach me on gift discovery and deployment?

Relational Care and Support


Am I nurturing or neglecting the God given relationships in my life? Am I learning how to build up people and love
them as Christ does? Is there a relational struggle or sin that needs to be addressed? What new friendships should I
cultivate this year? What ones should I let go of?

Vocational Match and Influence


Am I serving the Lord with all my heart in my vocation? Why or why not? Should I explore changing my vocation so I
can live with more joy and enthusiasm for Christ? How much longer do I see myself working in this job? Am I using my
vocation to reach people for Christ?

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Ministry Fruitfulness and Impact
Am I operating in my sweet spot of ministry now? What fruit am I seeing in what I am doing for Christ? Is my impact for
Him increasing, stagnant, or diminishing? Who will I talk with to review my influence and effectiveness? When will I do
that? What new ministry should I try?

Financial Peace, Freedom and Giving


Am I trusting God for my daily finances and working the financial plan His Word gives? ie..( Transfer Ownership, Give
First, Save Second, Reduce Debt, Strategically Invest in Diversified Opportunities, Spend Less I Earn) Am I tithing and
giving offerings expecting God to honor and bless it? Who has God put on my heart to give to? What are my financial
goals for this year, for five years from now and for the finishing season of my life?

Biblical Knowledge and Understanding


What area of biblical knowledge would I love to grow in this year? What books in the Bible do I feel led to study and
understand more? What truths would produce more freedom and fruitfulness in my life and others? What will be my
personal plan for knowing His Word more?

Mission Involvement and Deployment


What cause, people group or need is God giving me an increasing passion for? Who is doing that and how could I
help them? What nation is God drawing me to help? Is there a mission trip I should take this year? What local or global
ministry does the Holy Spirit want me to pray faithfully for and get involved with?

Physical and Emotional Health and Care


Am I taking care of His body? Do I have any emotional issues I need get counseling for? Are there any hurts, habits
or hang-ups that are limiting my growth? Am I processing life’s pain, pressure and problems well in my soul or am I
stuffing things that will be destructive to me and others?

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BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN THOSE YOU COACH
B______________ in the power of the Holy Spirit to transform them into the person He created them to be for Christ’s
glory and for the divine purposes He has for them. Over and over express your confidence in Christ in them to be and
do all they were designed for.

E_____________, exhort and equip them when they feel discouraged and defeated by life’s challenges or personal
failures. Leaders lift up others and find themselves lifted up as they do. Share the secrets you have learned and the
resources that have encouraged you.

S____________ them as they process what the Holy Spirit is doing in their life to transform them. Help them
understand their trials, pass their tests, and resist their temptations. Be in the fire with them and
on fire for them and their growth.

T__________ them to live by faith looking, with great expectation, for God’s divine involvement in every area of their
life. Teach them to look daily for divine opportunities and seize them depending on God for everything they need.
Tackle the hard questions with them and triumph over obstacles by refusing to settle for anything less than His best!

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APPENDIX:
LIFE COACHING RESOURCES
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Purpose Driven Life Page 1 of 1

† † † † †

Books on Purposes:
WORSHIP
Experiencing God The Way of the Worshiper
Worship Old and New Love Him in the Morning
Praying for Purpose for Women Renovation of the Heart
FELLOWSHIP
Connecting (on relationships) Boundaries
Conversations on Purpose for Women Boundaries in Marriage
DISCIPLESHIP
How People Grow The Incredible Patience of God
Pursuit of Holiness Personal Bible Study Methods
Pathways to Purpose The Power to Change Your Life
A Resilient Life The Life Youíve Always Wanted
Rebuilding Your Broken World Understanding Who You Are
The Life God Blesses Margin
MINISTRY
Living the Life You Were Meant to Live (or
Improving Your Serve
Discipleship)
What You Do Best ñ In the Body of Christ †
EVANGELISM †
The Master Plan of Evangelism Mere Christianity
The Case for Christ What on Earth Am I Here For?
The Case for Faith †
† †

© †Copyright 2005 Purpose Driven Life

http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/next/bookspurpose_p.aspx 6/14/2005
First Steps to Spiritual Growth:
How to Have Meaningful Time With God

by Rick Warren

Condensed from his book,

Bible Study Methods:


Twelve Ways You Can Unlock God’’s Word

Once you’’re convinced that a daily quiet time


is necessary for spiritual growth,
then how do you go about having one?
You may be motivated to do it but may not know how.

You need to consider four essential elements of a good quiet time:

 Start with the proper attitudes

 Select a specific time

 Choose a special place

 Follow a simple plan

1
Start with the Proper Attitudes
In God's eyes, why you do something is far more important than what you do.

On one occasion God told Samuel, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man
looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (I Sam. 16:7). It is quite
possible to do the right thing but with the wrong attitude.

This was Amaziah's problem, for "he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but not
wholeheartedly" (2 Chron. 25:2).

When you come to meet with God in the quiet time, you should have these proper
attitudes.

1. Expectancy - Come before God with anticipation and eagerness. Expect to have a
good time of fellowship with Him and receive a blessing from your time together.
That was what David expected: "0 God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You" (Ps.
63:1; see Ps. 42:1)

2. Reverence. Don't rush into God's presence, but prepare your heart by being still
before Him and letting the quietness clear away the thoughts of the world. Listen
to the Prophet Habakkuk: "The Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth be silent
before Him" (Hab. 2:20; see Ps. 89:7). Coming into the presence of the Lord is not
like going to a football game or some other form of entertainment.

3. Alertness. Get wide awake first. Remember that you are meeting with the
Creator, the Maker of heaven and earth, the Redeemer of men. Be
thoroughly rested and alert. The best preparation for a quiet time in the morning
begins the night before. Get to bed early so you will be in good shape to meet
God in the morning, for He deserves your full attention.

4. Willingness to obey. This attitude is crucial: you don't come to your quiet time
to choose what you will do or not do, but with the purpose of doing
anything and everything that God wants you to do. Jesus said, "If anyone
chooses to do God's will, he will find out whether My teaching comes from God
or whether I speak on My own" (John 7:17). So come to meet the Lord having already
chosen to do His will no matter what.

Select a Specific Time


The specific time has to do with when you should have your quiet time and how long
it should be. The general rule is this: The best time is when you are at your best! Give
God the best part of your day when you are the freshest and most alert. Don't try to serve
God with your leftovers (leftover time). Remember too that your best time may be different
from someone else's.

For most of us, however, early in the morning seems to be the best time. It was Jesus' own
practice to rise early to pray and meet with the Father. "Very early in the morning, while it
was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went off to a solitary place, where He
prayed" (Mark 1:35).

2
In the Bible many godly men and women rose early to meet with God. Some of these
were:
 Abraham (Genesis 19:27)
 Job (Job 1:5)
 Jacob (Genesis 28:18)
 Moses (Exodus 34:4)
 Hannah and Elkanah (1 Samuel 1:19)
 David (Psalms 5:3; 57:7-8)
(See also Psalm 143:8; Isaiah 26:9; Ezekiel 12:8)

Throughout church history many Christians who were used most by God met with
Him early in the morning. Hudson Taylor said, "You don't tune up the instruments
after the concert is over. That's stupid. It's logical to tune them up before you start."

The great revival among British college students in the late 19th century began with
those historic words: "Remember the Morning Watch!" So we need to tune ourselves
up at the start of each day as we remember the Morning Watch.

If Jesus is really in first place in our lives, we ought to give Him the first part of
our day. We are to seek His kingdom first (see Matt. 6:33). Doctors tell us that the
most important meal of the day is breakfast. It often determines our energy levels,
alertness, and even moods for the day. Likewise, we need a "spiritual breakfast" to
start our day off right.

Finally, in the morning our minds are uncluttered from the day's activities. Our
thoughts are fresh, we're rested, tensions have not yet come on us, and it's usually the
quietest time. One mother sets her alarm clock for 4 A.M., has her quiet time, goes
back to bed, and then rises when everyone else in the household gets up. Her
explanation is that with kids around the house all day, early morning is the only time
when it is quiet and she can be alone with God. It works for her; you need to select a
time that will work for you.

You might even consider having two quiet times (morning and night). Dawson
Trotman, founder of The Navigators, used to have code letters for his night quiet
time: H.W.L.W. Whenever he was with a group of people at night or home with
his wife and the conversation seemed to be ending, he would say, "All right, H. W.
L. W.," after which a passage of Scripture would be quoted without comment and
all would go to sleep. H.W.L.W. stood for "His Word the Last Word," and he
practiced that through the years as a way of ending a day with one's thoughts fixed on
the Lord (Betty Lee Skinner, Daws, Zondervan, p. 103).

Stephen Olford, a great Christian and minister in New York for many years, said,
"I want to hear the voice of God before I hear anyone else's in the morning, and His is
the last voice I want to hear at night."

David and Daniel even met with the Lord three times each day (see Ps. 55:17; Dan.
6:10).

Whatever time you set, be consistent in it. Schedule it on your calendar; make an
appointment with God as you would with anyone else. Make a date with Jesus! Then
look forward to it and don’’t stand Him up. A stood-up date is not a pleasant experience

3
for us, and Jesus does not like to be stood up either. So make a date with Him and
keep it at all costs.

The question is often asked, ““How much time should I spend with the Lord?”” If you’’ve
never had a consistent quiet time before, you may want to start with seven minutes
(Robert D. Foster, Seven Minutes with God, NavPress 1997) and let it grow naturally.
You should aim to eventually spend not less than 15 minutes a day with the Lord. Out
of 168 hours we all have during a given week, 1 hour and 45 minutes seems terribly
small when you consider that you were created to have fellowship with God. Here are
some additional guidelines:

 Don’’t try of a two-hour quiet time at first. You’’ll only get discouraged. You
must grow in this relationship as you do in any other. So begin with a
consistent seven minutes and let it grow; it’’s better to be consistent with a short
time than to meet for an hour every other week.

 Don’’t watch the clock. Clock-watching can ruin your quiet time faster than
almost anything else. Decide what you can do in the Word and prayer during
the time you have selected; then do it. Sometimes it will take longer than you
have set aside, and sometimes less time. But don’’t keep looking at your watch.

 Don’’t emphasize on quantity, emphasize on quality. There is nothing super


spiritual about having a two-hour quiet time. It’’s what you do during your time
–– 15 minutes or two hours or anything in between –– that’’s important. Aim for a
quality relationship with the Lord.

Choose A Special Place

The location where you have your quiet time is also important. The Bible indicates
that Abraham had a regular place where he med with God (Genesis 19:27). Jesus had
a custom of praying in the Garden of Gethsemane on the Mount of Lives. ““Jesus went
out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and His disciples followed Him.”” (Luke 22:39,
emphasis added)

Your place ought to be a secluded place. This is a place where you can be alone,
where it's quiet, and where you will not be disturbed or interrupted. In today's noisy
Western world, this may take some ingenuity, but it is necessary. It ought to be a
place ..

 where you can pray aloud without disturbing others.

 where you have good lighting for reading (a desk, perhaps).

 where you are comfortable. (WARNING: Do not have your


quiet time in bed. That's too comfortable!)

Your place ought to be a special place. Wherever you decide to meet with the
Lord, make it a special place for you and Him. As the days go by, that place will come
to mean a lot to you because of the wonderful times you have there with Jesus Christ.

4
Your place ought to be a sacred place. This is where you meet with the living God.
Where you meet the Lord can be just as holy as the place where Abraham met God.
You don't have to be in a church building. People have had their quiet times in their
cars parked in a quiet place, in an empty closet at home, in their backyards, and even in
a baseball dugout. Each of these places has become sacred to them.

Follow a Simple Plan


Someone has said, "If you aim at nothing, you are sure to hit it!" To have a
meaningful quiet time, you will need a plan or some kind of general outline to
follow. The main rule is this: Keep your plan simple.

You will need the following three items for your planned quiet times:
 A Bible - a contemporary translation (not a paraphrase) with good print,
preferably without notes.

 A notebook - for writing down what the Lord shows you and for making a
prayer list.

 A hymnbook - sometimes you may want to sing in your praise time (see
Col. 3:16).

1. Wait on God (Relax). Be still for a minute; don't come running into God's
presence and start talking immediately. Follow God's admonition: "Be still, and
know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10; see also Isa. 30:15; 40:31). Be quiet for a short
while to put yourself into a reverent mood.

2. Pray briefly (request). This is not your prayer time, but a short opening prayer
to ask God to cleanse your heart and guide you into the time together. You must be
in tune with the Author of the Book before you can understand the Book. Two good
passages of Scripture to memorize are:

 "Search me, 0 God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious
thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way
everlasting" (Ps. 139:23-24; see 1 John 1:9).

 "Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in Your law [the Word]' (Ps.
119:18; see John 16:13).

3. Read a section of the Scripture (Read). This is where your conversation with
God begins. He speaks to you through His Word and you speak with Him in prayer.

Read your Bible ...


 Slowly. Don't be in a hurry; don't try to read too large an amount; don't race
through it.

 Repeatedly. Read a passage over and over until you start to picture it in your
mind. The reason more people don't get more out of their Bible reading is that
they do not read the Scriptures repeatedly.

 Without stopping. Don't stop in the middle of a sentence to go off on a

5
tangent and do a doctrinal study. Just read that section for the pure joy of it,
allowing God to speak to you. Remember that your goal here is not to gain
information, but to feed on the Word and get to know Christ better.

 Aloud but quietly. Reading it aloud will improve your concentration if you
have that problem. It will also help you understand what you are reading better
because you will be both seeing and hearing what you are reading.
Read softly enough, however, so that you won't disturb anyone.

 Systematically. Read through a book at a time in an orderly method. Do not


use the "random dip" method-a passage here, a chapter there, what you
like here, an interesting portion there. You'll understand the Bible better if
you read it as it was written-a book or letter at a time.

 To get a sweep of a book. On some occasions you may want to survey a


whole book. In that case you will read it quickly to get a sweep of the total
revelation. Then you need not read it slowly or repeatedly.

4. Meditate and memorize (Reflect and Remember). In order to have the


Scriptures speak to you meaningfully, you should meditate on what you are
reading and memorize verses that particularly speak to you. Meditation is
"seriously contemplating a thought over and over in your mind" (see chapter 1
for a brief discussion on it). Out of your meditation you might select and
memorize a verse that is particularly meaningful to you.

5. Write down what God has shown you (Record). When God speaks to
you through His Word, record what you have discovered. Writing it down will
enable you both to remember what God revealed to you and to check up on
your biblical discoveries. Recording what God has shown you is one way of
applying what you see in the Scripture that pertains to your life.

6. Have your time of prayer (Request). After God has spoken to you through
His Word, speak to Him in prayer. This is your part of the conversation with
the Lord.

CONCLUSION
What if you miss a day? Don't worry about it if it happens occasionally. Don't go
on a guilt trip. "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"
(Rom. 8:1).

Don't get legalistic, because missing one day does not make it a flop. BUT don't give up. If
you miss a meal it does not mean that you should give up eating because you're
inconsistent. You simply eat a little more at the next meal and go on from there. This
same principle is true with your quiet time.

Psychologists tell us that it usually takes us three weeks to get familiar with some
new task or habit. The reason why many people are not successful in their quiet times is
becaue they have never made it pas that six-week barrier. For Your quiet time to
become a habit, you must have had one daily for at least six weeks.

6
William James had a famous formula for developing a habit (Selected Papers on
Philosophy, E.P. Dutton & Co., 2000 pp. 60-62).

1. Make a strong resolution (vow). You must always start with a strong, decided
initiative. If you begin halfheartedly, you'll never make it. Make a public
declaration by telling others about your decision.

2. Never allow an exception to occur till the new habit is securely rooted
in your life. A habit is like a ball of twine. Every time you drop it, many strands are
unwound. So never allow the "just this once" to occur. The act of yielding weakens
the will and strengthens the lack of self-control.

3. Seize every opportunity and inclination to practice your new habit.


Whenever you get the slightest urge to practice your new habit, do it right
then. Don't wait, but use every opportunity to reinforce your habit. It does not
hurt to overdo a new habit when you are first starting.

To these suggestions I would add one more:

4. Rely on the power of God. When it is all said and done, you must realize that
you are in a spiritual battle and you can only succeed by the power of the Holy
Spirit of God. So pray that God will strengthen you and depend on Him to help
you develop this habit for His glory.

If you have been convinced that this is what you need to do, would you pray the following:

A Prayer of Commitment
"Lord, I commit myself to spending a definite time with You every day, no matter
what the cost. I am depending on Your strength to help me be consistent."

________________________________________
Signature & Date

This article was adapted from Rick Warren’’s Bible Study Methods, Twelve Ways You Can Unlock God’’s Word
(Zondervan, 2006) by Rick Warren. © Copyright 2006. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

*All scripture references from the New International Version.

You may use this study guide for yourself or share it with friends, but please keep the copyright information
within the document, and please don’’t sell it.

7
LIFE COACHING COVENANT
As a member of the Body of Christ and the fellowship of the local church, I willingly enter into a Life Coaching
relationship in order to become the person that God created me to be. The desire of my heart is to grow in the
grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ and to align myself with the biblical principles of godly behavior. I commit to a
partnership with the Holy Spirit as my personal guide to a transformed life that honors Jesus Christ. I invite the highest
level of accountability into this relationship and open my life to be held accountable. I agree to make this a priority
in my life and will abide by the guidelines that we set forth for the time commitment involved. I look forward to the
transformation that will take place in my life as a result of this Life Coaching agreement.

______________________________
Signature – Coached

______________________________
Signature – Coach

______________________________
Date

26
LIFE COACHING – COACHES AGREEMENT
I am interested in becoming a Life Coach. I realize this is a huge responsibility, but I am committed to using my God
given S.H.A.P.E. to help others grow in their relationship with Christ. By signing this agreement, I am committing to the
following:

• Attend the Life Coaching Life Track classes and follow the guidelines set forth in the material.
• Live in agreement with the vision and values of my church and submitted to the direction of the leaders of
the Life Coaching ministry.
• Maintain contact with the Life Coaching ministry weekly to inform them of the progress of the coaching
sessions.
• Meet at least once a week, for 60-90 minutes with the individual I am coaching.
• Pray during the week for the individual I am coaching
• Maintain confidentiality; seek the individual’s permission before sharing anything from our time together
with anyone else, even a pastor.
• Refer the individual to a trained counselor when deep issues come up that I am not skilled to help with.

__________________________________
Printed Name

__________________________________
Signature

28

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