COMPLETE RECORD OF FEMINISTUBE

DOCUMENTS

*COMMENTS IN RED ARE MINE- DB

The reason I am publishing these documents in their entirety is because Binh and Ross (let's face it,
they work on a collective front. I make a video addressing Ross and Binh answers it) will not let this
go. Binh has made yet ANOTHER video involving me tonight and trying to smear my character and
cause more division within FeminisTube.

I remained neutral throughout this exchange until the very end. I went and did all the background
work, looking at comment threads and realizing just who these two were (Bin and Ross). I realized
they had it out for Nuke for some time but still maintained my neutrality until the very end. Ross
wasn't honest with me about having a history with Nuke when she emailed me all this nonsense. I
even told Nuke the same thing (re: not taking sides) but when i realized that Ross wanted me to
bash nuke, I realized that I was dealing with a goddamned drama queen, the both of them. They are
removed from the group and never again will they enter. This is the reason why FT has put in safety
measures in place to deal with these kinds of people who don't recognize validation (isn't that
something you do for yourself?) and abuse when they're the ones doing the abusing and drama.

I wish this didn't have to be but I never had anything to hide. I knew they would twist this to the
point where I had to show my hand. Well, here it is. I did the best I could. All this exchange was
trying to manipulate me into hurting Nuke, which I could not do. Being called abusive in that last
email from her was my last straw. I kept my cool through all the mindfuckery. I'm glad it's now over
and it's put to the community.

Sincerely, Diana

Notice how I'm not validating her or understanding her in my first few responses to her.
 ROSS TO ME (1ST PM)

Hello Diana.

I wanted to email you to let you know that I left feministube and am taking my videos down as well.
For the last month I have done nothing but support nuclearnight, as well as fight attacks made
towards me and nuke in my inbox from assholes on youtube. She has ignored my friend invite from
a very long time ago, as well as made comments about my video on feminity/masculinity on other
people's pages (rather than to me directly.) when I found one of them and asked her about it, she
said she needed some time to think it over (even though she was thinking and commenting about it
elsewhere.) shortly after, she made the video "house negroes" which I know was a passive-
agressive motive on her part and directed towards me.

Binh and I both knew where she was going with those videos, and she finally post it on feministube
that I am not a feminist. I am also dissappointed no one from feministube steps in to say something
when these attacks come on to me, leaving Binh the only person defending me.

I am a feminist and tired of getting insulted and personal attacks saying that I am not, when I have
done nothing but support feminists and feministube. To be regarded as politically ignorant really
saddens me, as well I do not like the persisting condescending behavior nuke has towards me. It's
funny that im not a feminist now becuase I advocate women do certain things for themselves if they
need to ( I don't really practice it in my own personal life) yet accused of it because I try to
understand things from other people's point of view.

For someone who criticizes variablast a lot and his a victim to his crap, I see a lot of the same
behaviors coming from nuke (but in a behind the back kind of way.) Despite her insults and
disrespect towards me and unwillingness to really talk to me or engage, I still like and appreciate
nuke and everyone at feministube's efforts and I wish everyone the best, I just can not be involved
in something where my efforts are not just unappreciated but I am put down and stripped the label
of being feminist. I would rather put my energy elsewhere- where I won't be demoralized
emotionally, and ignored intellectually.

I always loved your videos, even prior to joining feministube; I appreciate your support in the past
and recognizing me and Binh and your videos - and I will never forget that and feeling the comfort
of hominess and wisdom through your videos. Good luck, please stay safe and your gf too.

-Ross
 DIANA’S 1 S T REPLY

Hi Ross,

I appreciate your position. I haven't been on FeminisTube for very long. I did see the comment last
night and I saw that there were other comments that you took down, which I couldn't read
obviously.

I did not get involved last night because I wanted to give you and she a chance to work it out. The
video about house negros, in my mind, never applied to you. To me, I thought it was directed
towards other people. Never in a million years did I think it was for you.

I admit I've been blind to this entire thing.

However, I honestly think the best way to approach this is directly. Don't leave because of one
person. Everyone has disagreements. I suppose I don't know enough of the history. I wish you had
contacted me sooner.

Nuke and I don't talk a lot either. She rarely leaves comments on my videos. She has differing
opinions than me but I don't take it personal.

I would most definitely reconsider coming back and standing strong. I would never accuse you of
not being feminist. This is definitely something you shouldn't run from. Trust me, in my experience
on YouTube I've been attacked by everyone. The reason I'm still around is I stood my ground and
wouldn't allow a single person to ruin it for me. YouTube is my outlet of expression and it should be
yours too, regardless if someone disagrees with you or not.

I didn't actually see Nuke say you weren't a feminist. There's more to this eh? When I looked at that
thread I saw a bunch of stuff deleted and the only reason I even thought Nuke said you weren't a
feminist is because Binh directly said this to her. Honestly, Binh, I think your intentions were the
best but that was not the correct move. I know you care about Ross but Ross needs to stand up for
herself in this particular matter. Ross, this is key.
The reason why I said nothing is because in all honesty, I thought Binh was having it out with Nuke
and you were just going to ignore her.

Ross, I think you need to reconsider. I want you back at FeminisTube. I want you to hold your
ground. Maybe you don't want to but I think leaving is allowing others to speak for you. Besides, I
saw the Slavic art video you did and I want to watch it again.

So please, come back.

Love,

Diana

ROSS 2 N D MESSAGE TO DIANA

Dear Diana,

I feel happy to hear back form you: I did not delete any comments from feministube, usually I delete
and repaste comments becuase the previous one had a lot of typos.

I agree that I should not leave for one person, normally I wouldnt as I always stand my ground, but
this is not *just* about Nuke. I also am learning to step out of situations like this early on before I
feel too much from it ( right now I am very neutral on my feelings towards feministube and nuke
who I always liked and respected for what she did.) and I would rather leave it that way than
develop animosity towards her which I believe is going to be the logical conclusion at this point as
she has her issues and ways of dealing with people (and me) that will not change (anytime soon.)

I have a lot of real life struggles to handle and being treated by other feminists like I am MRA is
honestly the least of my concerns to battle- telling me I am not a feminist was the final straw for me.

I respect her and her efforts and work, as well as many on feministube, but just don't want to be
subject to that, and I'd rather continue how I help feminism and people in real life, or people who
actually want to engage in discussing political ideas with me, practical solutions, etc.
Thank you for the compliment on the slavic video, however it is not mine, I favorited it.

-Ross

PS: on the issues of working things out" I have always been the one to want to reach out to her and
empathize with her on her videos (talking about coupling up, etc) and wanting to really engange
and speak with her, but it does not happen. I am not one to not work things out with people and not
see things form their point of view. I am taking what you are saying to heart so maybe I will change
my mind, but this is how I feel at the moment and I need to take care of my emotional health as well.

DIANA'S 2ND REPLY

Ross,

I don't know about your past. All I can see is what I read on that thread. She's already said she
wasn't insulting you. Instead of contacting me and coming back to speak on your own behalf, Binh
went in there and made it worse. If you are insulted because you think others feel that Binh speaks
for you, then he shouldn't continue to fight with someone that you are having a problem with. What
terrible advice from me. Eh?

Ideas come and go. Debates come and go. People agree and disagree with each other all the time.
It's not personal. I don't have expectations that people will read everything or watch everything I
do. I make videos and comments because I enjoy it and for no other reason. You can't expect people
to automatically read everything or listen to everything. That's just not reasonable.

If you want to come and handle this woman to woman, I have no problem with that. All you have to
say is yes. You come back into FeminisTube and speak with Nuke, resolve your differences or agree
to disagree.

I don't want ANY of this to get worse. You emailed me and told me you left and I specifically stated
in my email to you that Binh should never have taken the step in making any argument with Nuke
and that if anyone had anything to say, it should've been you. I made that super clear. It should've
ended after you left. Rightly so. One person should not attack someone else on another's behalf.
Then I go on there tonight and Nuke says she's not trying to insult you. Binh immediately goes on
the defense and starts in again. Not cool.

Nuke was trying to make it impersonal by her comment stating specifically that she did not
personally insult you. She's there, she's open it seems, but you've left and now Binh is pushing it.

Woman to woman, the way I see it, it's you that needs to come back and resolve your difference
with Nuke or leave it. It's up to you now.

That's how I feel about it. This is just advice. No gun to her head.

Diana

ROSS’ 3 R D MESSAGE TO DIANA

from the non-feminist house negro

I did leave it, and I only emailed you to tell you why as I thought that would be the respectable thing
to do.

THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN THE END BUT NO: SHE KEEPS PM'ING ME

THEN ANOTHER ONE FROM ROSS RIGHT AFTER IT (Now she gets SNIPPY with me)

"I don't know about your past. All I can see is what I read on that thread. She's already said she
wasn't insulting you. Instead of contacting me and coming back to speak on your own behalf, Binh
went in there and made it worse. If you are insulted because you think others feel that Binh speaks
for you, then he shouldn't continue to fight with someone that you are having a problem with."

I feel insulted that YOU said he is speaking for me. He started to comment her on that before I even
left feministube.
"Ideas come and go. Debates come and go. People agree and disagree with each other all the time.
It's not personal. I don't have expectations that people will read everything or watch everything I
do. I make videos and comments because I enjoy it and for no other reason. You can't expect people
to automatically read everything or listen to everything. That's just not reasonable."

Its one thing to not read something, I dont expect everyone to read it. But then to say it is
antifeminist without actually reading it, is just plain ridiulous. For you to call me out and saying that
I am being unreasonable is no different than the sexists who say we only use emotions and have no
rational arguments. The fact that you can say I can't tell the differenece between a disagreement
and a personal insult on my motives and treating me less than, is also insulting. Am I really that
stupid to you too? You as in the COLLECTIVE you, not personal! Good Lordisa! There you go again,
seeing insult where there is NONE.

"If you want to come and handle this woman to woman, I have no problem with that. All you have to
say is yes. You come back into FeminisTube and speak with Nuke, resolve your differences or agree
to disagree."

Agree to disgaree- thats another way of saying, submit and deny your feelings about things. I
thought you were all about validating abuse/neglect? It becomes personal because my efforts as a
feminist is undermind by other FEMINISTS. That is an insult, that is a feeling- you can't "argue" or
disagree or agree with feelings. I never said I disagreed with her feelings WTF?

"I don't want ANY of this to get worse. You emailed me and told me you left and I specifically stated
in my email to you that Binh should never have taken the step in making any argument with Nuke
and that if anyone had anything to say, it should've been you. I made that super clear. It should've
ended after you left. "

If you want these things to end then you need to challenge nuke as well- There it is: If I don't
challenge Nuke, I'm going to be harassed by Ross. So I was WRONG in saying she implied it: SHE
ACTUALLY DID SAY IT!! I am not responsible for disciplining, or disiplining Binh or going to stop
him from speaking his mind. You are stepping in now, to stop Binh, but basically saying it's ok to do
what nuke is doing, without validating my feelings. Yes, this proves Binh knew I wasn't happy with
him attacking Nuke and yet another insult that I'm not validating her.

"Then I go on there tonight and Nuke says she's not trying to insult you. Binh immediately goes on
the defense and starts in again. Not cool."
Again, not trying to do something does not mean that you are not doing it. It's not that hard to
acknowledge someone. ALSO she did not come on there to say that she does NOT think I am anti-
feminist, or non feminist either. Um, yes she did, Ross just wanted to fight and cause problems (this
can be verified by members of FT)

"Nuke was trying to make it impersonal by her comment stating specifically that she did not
personally insult you. She's there, she's open it seems, but you've left and now Binh is pushing it. "

Well I guess Binh is a bad guy now for standing up for something he feels and believes in. More
proof she knew Binh was attacking Nuke I chose to step out, because I do not want to be subject to
abuse. I will not step back into that, and the fact that you are not challening Nuke on this tells me
you are going to allow it to happen. There it is again, another threat that if I don't bash nuke, I'm not
validating her. I made a very smart and wise decision for myself and you should not be telling me to
go there to take crap. I also figured that you can relate on how someone could be condescending
and not appreciate your efforts and motives to help.

Wow, I don't know what to say about this Diana, other than you keep ignoring the very things I
keep saying in my email to you and go on with preconcieved assumptions that I am unreasonable
and being indirect. She refuses to acknoweldge things I say and treats me as some sort of political
inferior or not worth listening/responding to. If you can not see her behavior as demoralizing to
other feminists who might have a different point of view, then I also don't know what else to say. I
feel put down and unappreciated. Please do not ask me to come back, or say that I am not coming
back because I am running away from a "fight" and being indirect with someone. That could not be
further from the truth. I never said that. I only suggested her to come back if she could.

I simply tried to tell you how I feel and how she has been treating me, and all I would have expected
from anyone was some sort of validation (intentions to insult or not.) instead of this being drawn
out. Umm, she's drawing it out, not me.

Someone can't be impersonal yet make personal insults, and then not expect some kind of outcome
like this. So I have to listen to you call me abusive when you have an issue with someone else?

If people really do not want to engange or hear/see what I have to offer, and I am being told what I
do is anti-feminist, logically what is the point of me being there?
 4 TH MESSAGE FROM ROSS TELLING ME I NEED TO LEARN COMMUNICATION
SKILLS.

AND YES, I'M STILL PATIENT

I read the the post you made about the issue this is where Binh is giving her access to FT when she's
not a member by her own choice, and she wants everyone to think they don't work this nonsense
together and Wow, way to really validate me for the way I feel, proving my points exactly about you
want me to just put it aside or that feelings don't matter or count because it's inconvenient or that
they are petty in the big scheme of things.

and why should people be held back from how they feel or their opinions? Nobody held you back.
You left of your own accord.

What exactly are you trying to do here? I think I get you are trying to set up a neutral space for us to
work things out but with a very biased stance where you are supportive of her and not me,
condescending that my feelings somehow either don't matter or that it's childish. Pubically berating
me. Diana, you jsut don't get it. my emails are to you and your responses to me, and it's pushing me
against going to feministube the more you have been saying towards me and about me. So now
she's implying that my responses somehow influence her behaviour and on the other hand says I'm
forcing her to go back? WTF? It's called MINDFUCKING and DRAMA.

http://timhartnett.com/validating%20feelings%20communication%20skills.html That's her nice

link she put in the email so I could *learn* how to communicate. Umm, I have an honours degree in
psych. I think I know how to communicate. And she thinks I'm abusing her and not validating her.

DIANA'S RESPONSE (STILL TRYING TO MAINTAIN SWITZERLAND MIND YOU)

I'm not on anyone's side. I said the same thing to her that I did to you. I'm not getting in the middle.
For the last time, you can either try to work it out with her or not. Wow, she just accused me of
invalidating her and abusing her and yet, I'm still neutral and polite, go figure at how mean I am.

I can't take sides.

All I can do is ask both parties to try and work it out. I've done that and that's it.

This is getting so long and drawn out. I'm nearing the end of my patience. Warning, Warning.

I'm not going to push anyone to do anything. I'm suggesting something. If you don't want to do it,
it's your choice.

Nobody is keeping you from FeminisTube. You can simply email me and I'll invite you back in.

You can give it a shot. But I can't make you do it. All I can do is suggest it.

Di

ROSSKAY'S 5TH EMAIL TO DIANA

ok, thank you for the suggestion and I do appreciate what you are trying to do. If and when I come
back I want to be clear headed - the entire exchange prior to this when she and geisha WTF does
Geisha have to do with it? Just keep dramafucking! was implying I wasnt a feminist and "selling out"
to finally admitting it in this past months time is very triggering for me and I do not do well when
people don't have the time/will/ability to validate when they have crossed the line for me they
have insulted me personally to feel emotional about something. Its not healthy for me with my to to
engange with people when they do not validate these things. I am trying to get better and do know
my own emotions and limits. You're not the only one with PTSD. I have it too and yet I'm still calm,
even after she's been nasty with me!

There is a lot going on here and I don't know how or even if I feel comfortable to expand because
apparently its not even believable what me or binh are saying when she is typing it in black and
white. She also typed in black and white THREE times that she didn't mean to offend you and that
the comments weren't even directed to you. And again, YOU AND BINH. You work together so don't
mislead everyone to believe you don't. To me the silence and no one jumping in to say " I dont think
ross is anti feminist, that is going too far" translates to me as some sort of agreement. AHA! As soon
as she knows I said the same thing to Nuke, she stops insulting ME.

-Ross

DIANA'S 5TH RESPONSE

Honestly Ross, I don't think either of them thinks of you as a non-feminist. I honestly don't believe
that's the case. I haven't seen any comment from Geisha in FeminisTube that implies that.

The silence is an effort on everyone's part to NOT get involved. This is the adult thing to do. Instead
of people jumping in, they recognize that it's something that exists between the two of you and
they're being respectful by NOT taking sides.

I understand that you have your personal issues. I sincerely do. WOW! I'm being so mean! She's
called me every fucking abusive shit under the sun and I'm STILL PATIENT. What gives if I'm such a
goddamned MEANIE!!

Right now, the situation is more tense because Binh went in there and forced her to go on the
defensive. His comments were unhelpful to you and just aggravated a situation that he's not
involved with. That was a huge mistake on his part. Comparing her to Variablast only shot himself
in the foot. That was low and totally uncalled for and since, in your absence, he is making these
remarks on your behalf, it will definitely seem like he is indeed speaking for you when this has
nothing to do with him. So unfortunately, you're going to have to deal with the repercussions of
those remarks. So instead of starting at the starting line, by him saying that, you're now behind the
starting line of building a good space with Nuke. Which is true. If you continually insult someone
and the both of you are angry at her then with every insult she's less likely to find an open space to
clear the air with you. This is common sense.

When and if you are ready to come back to FeminisTube, just email me and I'll invite you back in.
Oh the Horror of me leaving the door open for her!

I hope you are well, Oh the horror of my vicious personality!

Diana

ROSS’ 6TH EMAIL TO ME

. what does he do have to do with me? I have to deal with the consequences .... of other people's
actions. Including nukes. Very good for enabling abuse Diana. I am surprised, but then again after
the latest emails maybe not. You are clearly taking sides here. Basically, that translates to "oh, you
won't let Binh abuse her in FT anymore so YOU'RE BAD DIANA, YOU'RE TAKING SIDES!!!"

DIANA’S FINAL RESPONSE

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: from the non-feminist house negro

You have the nerve to call ME abusive huh? Because I'm not taking sides? Because I don't want
things to get worse. Listen, you call me abusive? You don't know a fucking thing about me. You want
to give me a fucking lecture on abuse huh?

You listen up, I'm not listening to your shit anymore. I've had it. I just got listening to a real abuse
call whereby a woman was sodomized and bitten on her thighs on her breasts with blood
everywhere and chunks of her body missing.

You fucking DARE call me ABUSIVE.

FUCK RIGHT OFF.

AND FUCK YOUR LITTLE FUCKING BOYFRIEND TOO.

Don't EVER TRY TO CONTACT ME AGAIN.

BLOCKED.
BINH: KICKED OUT OF FEMINISTUBE AND BLOCKED.

Had enough of your drama.

I have real life, REAL ABUSE shit to deal with.

DONE.

HERE IS THE FIRST MESSAGE TO THE ENTIRE FEMINISTUBE

COMMUNITY EXPRESSING MY THOUGHTS ON THIS MATTER

Heyo Peoples:

Just to let you know I had to block a member here who was, in my mind, bent on making this an
argumentative space instead of a constructive one.

I was accused of being abusive. This didn't sit well with me as much of you know I hear and relive
real life domestic violence situations.

It just so happened that I had just relived a very traumatic crime that occured early this morning.
My girlfriend does very serious work and I relive very serious things with her.

DO NOT READ UNDER THIS LINE TRIGGER WARNING SKIP BETWEEN

LINES________________________________________
In the early morning hours a woman was raped and sodomized. The man bit into her flesh on the
inside of her thighs and her breasts. She was covered in blood, rectally and vaginally as well as
bitten and beaten all over. I relived this with my gf and it tore me apart inside.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was during this reliving of this domestic violence event and rape that I received another PM from
Ross and this one accused me of being abusive. It was very demanding in tone and highly
disrespectful.

I have remained completely objective regarding the situation between Ross and Nuke. Ross left
FeminisTube appx. 2 days ago over what she thought was a slight by Nuke. I felt the best way was to
just encourage her to address Nuke and to come back to FT. In the meantime, as you've all seen,
Binh has been offensive with Nuke and I specifically explained to Ross that he should remain quiet.
It's Ross's situation to deal with, not his.

As you can see in a couple of these threads, including the one I had to lock, that Binh has no
intention of staying out of it. I told him I'd give him a time out if he didn't stop and within 5 minutes
of my warning, Ross emailed me this shit about how I was abusive to her.

I then blocked both of them from my channel, removed Binh from FeminisTube and am writing to
you now.

I don't want this nonsense in here. This should remain a safe space for people to express their POV.
It's simple. I kinda feel like I have to justify what I did to all of you because this is your space too. I
didn't even want to think about kicking a member out of here but I feel I did the best thing for this
space.

That's all for now. I hope this is the damn end of it.

Di
 HERE IS ANOTHER MESSAGE ADDRESSING THE FEMINISTUBE
COMMUNITY

MY THOUGHTS

FeminisTube is for every single feminist who wants to join.

Recently, there have been disagreements between members. I knew it would happen eventually
and well, it has. It's my perspective that these disagreements have been the result of unrealistic
expectations.

I'm going to tell it like it is and if I get fallout then so be it. I've taken so much shit and backlash on
YouTube that hell, gimme your best shot. I'm sure I can take it.

First off, all of us have different ideas and opinions. I know for myself that I don't expect everyone
to listen to every video I make or read every comment I write. In fact, I have no such expectation. If
someone happens to get into a dialogue with me then I'm down with it when I have the time. It's
totally unreasonable to expect others to watch every video you make, comment on every video and
or, follow every link you post. Sometimes, nobody does. Don't take it personally.

Secondly, I know that many of you have things to offer but it's completely unreasonable to expect
that everyone engage with you on the comment section of FeminisTube. Don't take it personal if
people don't engage.

Thirdly, nobody is going to agree with you 100% of the time. It's just not going to happen. Only in
my most erotic dreams do I wish I could have every single MRA agree with me and turn a new leaf.
(Ok, so I put a little bit of LULZ into a *ahem*, supposedly serious FeminisTube address).

Fourth, When we DO have disagreements we should be open to discussing them, as adults. Not only
that but I think the best policy, since we are all on the same side, is to avoid reading into comments
to the point where we internalize it into an insult. Sure, there will be times when we aren't sure but
we should be grown up enough to overlook it and move on precisely BECAUSE we're on the same
side.
This kind of stuff I'm talking about kills movements and I think it can be reasonably said that it kills
online movements easier since it's hard to read intent or get sarcasm etc., especially on comment
sections.

That said, I hope that the two women involved in this latest disagreement will come together and
resolve their issues. I can't make anyone do anything but I hope that it can be resolved. If it can't,
well, so be it. At least you tried. Also, I would appreciate it if indeed the two women come together
and try to resolve it, that the rest of us won't comment or get involved with it. If either of you want
to start a thread to discuss this then by all means I can encourage it but I can't force it.

I honestly don't want to think about forcing any member out of here so I'm not even going to
address that. I'll just hope it doesn't come to that. Also, I cannot make that kind of decision on my
own and I wouldn't. There would have to be some sort of consensus.

When I started this group I had no intentions of ever seriously monitoring it. I started it under the
idea that it would organically monitor itself. However, in order to do that I would highly suggest to
other members who haven't participated in the topic threads to become active if possible. Let
yourselves be heard.

That's all for now.

Di

Digitally signed by Sael Palani

Sael Palani DN: cn=Sael Palani, o, ou,

email=SaelPalani@shaw.ca, c=CA
Date: 2010.04.30 01:27:15 -07'00'