Full name: L Th Vit Hng

Class: 12E18
Subject: INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION

Individual final essay assignment

Topic 1: Personal identity narrative.

Two years ago, before my heading to Hanoi for college study, my father, who is the
most humorous man in the world, completely took me by surprise and gave me
plenty food for thought when he soberly said goodbye to me with a reminder: I
hope you live up with your value. Do not lose your identity. The exposure of
intercultural communication knowledge I have learned these days suggested me a
different angle from which I take another look into my values in the perspective of
cultural identity which my father tossed and turned about. Defined as ones sense
of belonging to a particular culture or ethnic group, cultural identity can be
explored in many sources including family, community, traditions, religious
beliefs, education, language, ancestry, etc. Whereas, personal identity is based on
ones unique characteristics. During the exploration of my own identity in 20
years, family and community are surely two influential sources to my identity. It is
in honor of my family and my home city Haiphong that I reminisce the process that
shaped my identity today and voice my gratitude towards these two special groups
I am lucky enough to be in.
My parents - whose whole life has been balanced on a single hope of their children
happiness and success are the greatest source of influence on my identity
formation. We lead a simple life as my parents run a small business at home. My
mother a Cancer in horoscope is an immensely emotional and thoughtful
woman. The most valuable virtue I learn from her is the willingness to give. I can

contemplate how bothered I was back then to see her being too generous.
Growing up, I come to realize that it is how my mother comes along with
everyone, passing the harmony to her children. I am now immersed in her kindness
and act the same way accordingly. I put myself in the shoes of people when
communicating with them so as to avoid upsetting those, help my friends out with
their problems while I am still stuck with mine, treat them the best food when they
visit me in town, etc. It is also from them that I have this obsession of owing
someone money, a favor, or even their time. If I have to involve in the borrowing
situation, I can have a thought of giving them back 10 times more than that for my
mind to feel completely comfortable.
However, the situation differs when it comes to my core identity - freedom. My
parents somewhat get in my way of searching for freedom. Back to my childhood,
I lived in the overprotection of my parents, up to the point where I found it
suffocating. I started dreaming about bigger skies to spreading my wings. This
thought became overwhelming when I reached my 16. Now technically I gain
more space for my own since I left home for university education, still freedom
remains the ultimate value I thirst for. Vast and untouched skies restlessly burn the
covet of new experiences and spiritual liberation in me. Yet, there is a conflict
between maintaining the family attachment and keeping freedom for myself.
Having some health problems, my mother rarely leaves the town in a long trip. She
as all the mothers on earth - has a constant fear that her childs safety is
threatened. Last spring, I decided to have a trip to Sapa with a close friend of mine
without telling my parents. We paid the trip, contacted the travel agency, booked
the trip all by ourselves and felt more alive than ever. This lasted till my mothers
phone call arrived just a half of hour after I got on the train. As I confessed I was
on the way to Sapa, I could interpret all kind of emotion in her voice shock, fear,
disappointment and offensiveness. Still she wished me a happy trip, but that

moment, I felt so guilty and the trip then was not as memorable as I had expected.
Since then, I decided to live up with my high sense of individualism in a less
worrying way. Meanwhile, I have tried to embrace family attachment by visiting
home more regularly, cooking for them and sharing more of my thoughts.
My hometown Haiphong also depicts my identity. I became conscious of my
Haiphong identity and first experienced what is called stereotype in my first year
of university in Hanoi. People hold a stereotype about Haiphong people, who are
considered to be aggressive and violent. I encountered this story that I would like
to share. It was the first day of university and all the freshmen gathered for
registering procedure. I was holding a bottle of water when a girl approached
asking for some water from me. She seemed to be quite thirsty from the hourlasting queue. I was glad to give her my bottle. Finishing, she thanked me who was
kind enough to tell her to keep the whole bottle because I no longer wanted it. The
next sight, as I remember, after knowing my answer of Haiphong, the girl handed
back the bottle in my hand, apologized hurriedly and disappeared in a second. It
stroked me so hard that people continued keeping that rigid prejudice on Haiphong
residents. For my fellows defend, those adjectives are true to a very small part of
Haiphongs underworld. I would rather describe a great proportion of my fellows
are having strong personality. The notable point here is that the misjudgment and
stereotype have a big influence on my behaviors. The most obvious effect is that I
feel more confident and powerful to communicate as a Haiphong person. There are
possibly two reasons for my confidence. First of all, I am so aware of Haiphong
identity that it forces me to act accordingly, so as to spread the spirit to others. The
second might be the secure feelings I got from my city, as if it backs me up in
expressing myself. For instant, because Haiphong is popular to its peoples
straightforwardness; I feel righteous and encouraged to raise my voice in case of
unfairness. Following the crowd is the most annoying thing so I always try to seek

a new way to do things creatively. Having such a typical identity also influence the
way I make friends. I am able to easily connect to people of different ages. Aware
my own characters, I accept the fact that other people can have theirs and embrace
those characteristics is more fascinating than I expect. During my communication
experiences with friends from other cities and also foreign friends, I draw myself a
conclusion: my name is Hang when I am home, but in another city, I am Haiphong
and in another country, I turn into Vietnam. Thus, it is my obligation and privilege
to present the spirit to others from different social identities.
Erik H Erikson stated in his book Identity and the life cycle that when we are
first born, we enter the world with statuses already attached to us and are clearly
defined by gender and race. As we grow older the decisions we make, the people
we keep close to us, and the way we spend our time decides how we will be
judged. That is exactly how I think of identity. Just like most of friends of my age,
I have gone through some identity crisis which was painful at some point. And it is
supposed to be a never-ending quest on fighting for what I treasure in myself.
More importantly, I learn enough to judge people more objectively, understanding
that behind that personality is a whole system of cultural identity served as guiding
principles. In term of self-development, I strongly believe that a high awareness of
my identity makes me whole, responsible and driven more than any kind of
motivation. The more people have that awareness, the more civilized the society
will be.

Reference:
Erikson, Erik H., Identity and the life cycle. W.W. Norton & Company Inc. 1980
Chapter 1 p. 20, Chapter 2 p. 94
Intercultural reading package, Chapter 6 p.142-143.