Taaruf

People know the name but seldom doing what is supposed to be sometimes it
refers by people to middle easts culture but I am telling you, indeed taaruf the
worlds itself is from Arabian language which is mean knowing each other but
actually it is a method that moslem would do especially when the man wants to get
married or vice versa. Maybe because most of the people do not know what taaruf
and some of them accustomed what sinetron or western culture tell about in
media. Well, I am just saying what people do recently like we could say pacaran,
having relationship before married, is more or less giving a different impact to
woman and man.
Honestly when a couple, man and women, is going out to someplace whether
the place is crowded or not especially just them alone without any mahram from
woman it is inevitable for both of them to take care themselves from touching,
meets in the eye, and romantic conversation. Believe me I am the expert of this.
Psychology says when people get used to with something they have or meet
sometimes they will get saturated and it has different impression when they meet
or have in the first time. I am just saying when couple has many times to meet they
tend to be saturated and then broke up. What remain is that woman will be in the
great painful rather than the man. Well, instead of saying the comparison between
pacaran-taaruf and no one will read this essay, I would like to give some
explanation what taaruf is doing.
First thing first, what would the man or women do in the first step of taaruf.
The first thing that they do is having intention to get married. With this intention
they should not taking this action for joking or having other intention besides
marriage intention. Because of many sides will get hurt if they do this with other
presumption. With this intention both sides, man-women, know each other that they
want to find suitable spouse for living in this world and after life. As the implication
they will not have hurt feeling when this taaruf gets fail.
The second is making CV, this is what most people do recently in taaruf it
has slightly different from the old way. That is what my friends told me about.
Hopefully after reading CV both side has known the outline of their background for
examples: name, old, hobbies, occupation, the most favorite things, the most hate
things, the dream attitude for husband or wife, photos, and etc. Ideally more detail
you describe yourself in cv will be better and it depends on both sides but some
information is mandatory like as name, age, photos, or anything commons to make
each other knows better.
The next, after reading cv normally they will have more passion or
attractiveness to meet in person, they will arrange meeting in someplace with
accompany from third party which is usually from man side that could be his father
and mother or mans relative.
In the meeting time, that is the first time for man and woman meet in person,
they will have some conversation or chatting to ask about their background as
confirming in CV or anything as a way to know each other better. Well, some experts
said this is the difficult part because they will prove him or her to be right person.
After they are finishing their conversation and before getting depart, they will
determine when they will give the answer in a week later or two weeks later or
maybe a month later. So we call it istikhoroh time, in this time they will pray each
other to Allah to reassure with their answer. This will be the most difficult part or I
would rather say it could be destined by Alloh for the answer.

In the final part they will be ready and sober for their marriage and insya
alloh they will have great marriage life since they never know how their hearts are
pounding when they are touching, meets in the eye, and having romantic
conversation. I do not want to castigate to anyone doing beyond taaruf and then
get married, I am just saying there is a proper way to know each other (taaruf)
before get married and for the couple who still pacaran and have not married yet,
I hope your relationship will remain and get married soon so there is less woman will
be sad and there is less couple, as psychology theory says, to be saturated since
there is a tendency to make other relationship after they are broke up.