Beyond The Word An Awakening PDF

BEYOND THE W ORD
An Awakening
ELIZABETH HUGATE HUDGINS
Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | ii

Copyright 2010 by Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins
All rights reserved.
1. Fig. 1. The cover photo is a compounded image: Earth_from_space.jpg.(Courtesy of Felix

at www.coolhdwallpapers.com) and Stack of books.jpg by me.
2. All photo-editing has been done with one or the other of the two following software
programs:
a) Micrografx Picture Publisher 10, CD-ROM (Dallas, TX: Micrografx, Inc., 2001).
MPP10.
b) Adobe Photoshop Elements 7.01, CD-ROM. (San Jose, CA: Adobe Systems
Incorporated, 2001-2008). APE7.
3. All scanning has been done with Epson Perfection 1650 Photo color image scanner.
Long Beach, CA: Epson America, Inc., 2001. EP1650.
4. All OCR (Optical Character Recognition) inclusions were done with TextBridge Pro 11,
CD-ROM (Peabody, MA: ScanSoft, Inc., 2002). TBP11.
5. The word processing program used for doing the final draft of this writing was WordPerfect
Office 4, CD-ROM. (Ottawa, ON, Canada: Corel Corporation, 2004). WP4.
&/ or previous versions of ( 3.0, 4.0, 5.0, 6.0).
Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | iii
CONTENTS
Dedication. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . v
Acknowledgments.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . vii
Part I -The Introduction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

About This Treatise .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
An Affirmation.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
About My Writing Style . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
A Critique on Biblical Hebrew . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Part II-The Awakening.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

The Turning. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
From Fear to Faith.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
From Foolishness to Discretion.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
'And Then Perhaps to Wisdom [Understanding]'.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109
And Death is a Destination .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
A GoingA Growing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
Natures Electrical Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 142
'From Joy to Gratitude. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 146
From Loneliness to Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
A Sacred Pilgrimage. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162
'Not At Some High Place Along The Way. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172
From Foolishness to Discretion' - Extended . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178
And In Awe of Nature. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185
Winter Wonders and Mythical Dilemmas. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
The Firmament of Heaven?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193
More Winter Marvels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198
Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | iv

Obscurity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 206
From Health to Sickness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
From Stage to Stage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 216
An Interim Moment. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 224
I Am Saying You Are Free . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 228
The Next Twenty-Five Years. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 240

Or Strength to Weakness.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 241
And Often Back Again. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 251
And Back, We Pray, . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 262
To Health Again . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 267
In Summation.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 279
Part III-Related Childhood Events .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 285

'From Innocence To Awareness .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 286
The Divine Presence, Source of Conscience ?.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 295
From Offense to Forgiveness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 298
A Conversion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 310
From Pain to Compassion . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 318
A Postscript.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 323
Part IV-The Appendix. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 324
Credits. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 325
Ref. #011469 - 1961 to 1980 Floor Plan of Family Residence.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 329
Ref. #021569 - OCR Excerpts from, Near-Death Experiences, by Elaine Landau.. . . . . . . 330
Ref. #022469 - About Contrails.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 332
Ref. #041496 - A Copy of My Notification of Birth Registration Certificate.. . . . . . . . . . . 335
Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | v
DEDICATION
To My Sons and Daughters 2
Fig. 2. A 1967 photo of James, David, Lisa, Anne--and in memory of deceased infant daughter Donna
(11/1957 - 01/1958).
Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | vi
Birth is a Beginning
By Alvin I. Fine
Birth is a beginning,
And death a destination;
But life is a journey,
A going--a growing
From stage to stage.
From childhood to maturity
And youth to age.
From innocence to awareness
And ignorance to knowing;
From foolishness to discretion
And then perhaps to wisdom.
From weakness to strength
Or strength to weakness-And, often, back again.
From health to sickness
And back, we pray,
to health again.
From offense to forgiveness,
From loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude,
From pain to compassion,
And grief to understanding-From fear to faith.
From defeat to defeat to defeat-Until, looking backward or ahead,
W e see that victory lies
Not at some high place along the way,
But in having made the journey,
Stage by stage-A sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning,
And death a destination;
But life is a journey,
A sacred pilgrimage
Made stage by stage-From birth to death
To life everlasting.
Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | vii
A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
ow do you say thanks to a person youve never met, but whose work you greatly appreciate?
One way is to use it.

Alvin Fines poem is the most beautiful and soothing memorial prose I have ever heard. There
is no portion of it that makes me feel morbid or gloomy. Because of both the eloquence and
relevancy of the work, I am using some of Alvins verses as titles for my entries. For instance, the
entry for January 14, 1969, on page 61 is entitled From Fear to Faith.
Inspiration for attempting this project has come from many persons. Some of them are living.
Some of them, like Alvin Fine, are deceased. Other documented--but now deceased--persons whose
shared thoughts have encouraged me to acknowledge my own views include: Socrates/ Plato,
William Shakespeare, Rene` Descartes, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, Clarence S. Darrow, and
Franklin D. Roosevelt. The following four ideas are of constant inspiration to me:
This above all--to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any. . . . William Shakespeare3
In order to seek truth, it is necessary once in the course of our life, to doubt, as far as possible, of
all things. Rene` Descartes4
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men [people] are created equal; that they are
endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the
pursuit of happiness. Thomas Jefferson5
So first of all let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself:
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into
advance. Franklin Delano Roosevelt6
3
From Hamlet: Act. I., Scene III. (Between late 1500's and/or abt 1601).
From Principles of Philosophy (1644).
From The Declaration of Independence ( July 4, 1776) .
From his first Inaugural Address ( March 4, 1933).
Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 8
Part I -The Introduction
About This Treatise

____________
round ten oclock on the morning of January 14, 1969, I
began to experience a set of physiological conditions unlike

anything I had ever experienced before. And as it happened, the
response I chose to make resulted in my instantly beginning to
experience a series of varying types of visions.
While it was a gradual rather than instantaneous enlightenment
process, the changes wrought upon my mind-set because of the
spirituality-related event and my efforts combined may be likened
to going from partial conceptual blindness to comparatively 20-20
I-sight.
Fig. 3. From a 1996 photo. Credit: F.

Scott Sadler.
To start with, questions arose regarding the authenticity of the biblical writings. In particular,
there were my doubts about the literal accuracy of the account about Moses revelation experience.
For inasmuch as none of the visions I experienced included speeches, it was relatively impossible
for me to take the Exodus account of Moses spiritual experience as a non-fictionalized one. It
would, however, take me until early spring of 1996 to acquire the additional information, the good
physiological health level, and the confidence needed for tackling the issue of the literary
exactness in the biblical and other literary documents about natural phenomena. Even then, I

thought it would be sufficient to tell my children and a few other persons with whom I had an
ongoing relationship about the amazing spiritual-related happening I had undergone. But after
envisioning myself as a bystander who had never experienced such a wondrous event, I decided
that the general public should also be given the opportunity to view a non-fictionalized account of
what a transcendent7 level spiritual revelation experience is like. See Part II - The Awakening for
a detailed recount of the one I underwent, and associated commentary.
My interpretations and other commentary are ofttimes inserted in the form of footnotes, endnotes,
and/or epilogues. So, please, please pause to read this collateral material as you go along. In some
instances, the entry may also include a prologue. It all depends upon the specific theme or
condition the observed vision or other natural wonder evoked.
Whenever possible, I have also included one or more supportive photographs or illustrations
with my entries; for anytime we are left to develop our own mental images of the people, places,
and other tangible things recounted of by words alone, there is more cause for doubt about the
authenticity of the authors account. I know that upon meeting someone I have heard about or even
spoken with by phone, the persons physical appearance is always markedly different from what I
had visualized it to be.
Throughout this treatise, I shall be using my own personal experiences as a base from which
to expound upon my revised ideological views about (a) the Almighty Thou and (b) involuntary
natural phenomena. But please keep in mind that pleading a case is not the same as fussing n
fighting. It is not my intention to humiliate or belittle, and thus avoid or stifle serious debate. To
the contrary, serious debate is needed. For whether it is in a bible, a philosophical treatise, or a
science textbook, no persons word should be accepted on blind faith that it is error-free.
Since much of what I have to say involves the question of Absolute cause and associated
involuntary natural things, my arguments will necessarily implicate what other persons have said
on these subjects. To my present knowledge, the Torah (Pentateuch) was the first publication to
W hile transcendent level spiritual revelation experiences are beyond the more common everyday spiritual
revelation emissions, they are still within the laws of nature governing the involuntary subconscious part of the human
psyche.

contain the proposition that the primary creations 8 were the work of an Almighty (Infinite) Creative
Mental Power. Subsequent writings about (a) the presumed Cause of the primary cosmic world and
(b) involuntary natural phenomena include the Greek Christian Testament and the Arabic Koran.
Charles Darwins publication: The Origin of the Species by Means of Natural Selection 9 is the most
recent example. However, Mr. Darwins theory is only about the natural means whereby each
unique primary species was gradually caused to come into existence. No attention was given to the
Infinite Designer of the involuntary natural selection method.
n one of his dramas, William Shakespeare had this to say about personal honesty:

Thou canst not then be false to any. . . .
Honesty is my goal. And although one or more of my judgments or conclusions may not always
be correct, I will not have misled anyone if I provide a literally descriptive true account of the events
and views I have chosen to share with you.
This introductory section also includes an affirmation statement on my evolved metaphysical
beliefs, an outline of my writing styles, and a critique on biblical Hebrew. But first, I would like
to list some things I believe each of us needs to keep in mind when reviewing one anothers asserted
and/ or implied propositions about either {a} the envisioned Almighty Creative Cause of the primary
By primary creations , I mean only those things of the cosmic world which came into existence up to and
including the first generation of our species.
9
Charles Darwin, The Origin of the Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured
Races [Species] in the Struggle for Life ( London: John Murry, Albermarle Street, 1859). TOS

world, {b} physical and mental involuntary natural events10 and/or {c} semi-involuntary natural
events:
1. Every human being begins life on earth stark-naked, and totally ignorant of what
is safe or wise to consume11 or do.
2. All of our information comes from two known sources: (a ) involuntary nature or (b)
our speeches, writings, etc. other communicative messages. And of these two sources,
only involuntary nature is incapable of misrepresentation. To be in awe of natural
phenomena is understandable, but there is no logical reason whatsoever to be in awe of
or revere any one of us human beings (e.g., Moses, Jesus, Mohammed). Neither is there
any logical reason to be in awe of or revere any of our literary works (e.g., the Jewish
Bible, the Christian Bible, the Moslem Bible).
3. Neither are any of us mortal creative powers nor any of our works holy. The only
thing on this planet to possibly be of incorruptible holy essence is the conspicuously
silent spiritual presence within the involuntary subconscious part of our mental selves.
4. The only kind of life we know anything about and can relate to is finite organic
life. To ascribe a finite human nature to the Infinite Creative Power is a disservice to
both ourselves and this envisioned Almighty/Absolute Cause of our species.
5. Biographical writings are hearsay (second-hand) testimony. The sayings accredited
to Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Jesus are biographical. Needless to say, neither is any
of the direct speech ascribed to either o hvkt / the Almighty Creative Power or
vuvh / the spiritual presence autobiographical testimony.

6. We are constantly vulnerable to misinterpreting the cause and purpose of the
involuntary natural phenomena we directly observe or read about. In fact, millions
have become mesmerized or as spellbound by what some of us have said or written
about (a) the envisioned Almighty Creative Cause, (b) extraordinary natural disasters,
and/or ( c) transcendent level spiritual happenings.
10
I.e., events which occur independent of human choice: e.g., storms, volcanic eruptions, etc. natural
disasters; our sex drives, contrasting good and not good temptations; and the reproduction of animal young that occurs
independent of our interference or manipulation.
11
By consume, I mean everything that enters our body-mind systems, including the sounds and sights of
each others spoken, written, signed, or otherwise presented communicative messages.

7. The freedom to direct ones own life is a natural endowment distributed over all of
humankind. We are at liberty to worship or not to worship the Almighty/ Absolute
Creative Mental Power. Our mortal death, however, is not optional. Thus, is it not of
good common sense to give some thought to how we ought to treat the envisioned
Creator-Ruler-Owner of the cosmic world? Such an Absolute Power could exist. And
whether ideal or not, immortal mental life could be our unavoi dabl e ultimate destiny.
8. All human experience is subjective. Whether the thing experienced is of our external
environment (as a sunset) or internal environment (as a dream scene), it is perceived by
the inner invisible voluntary conscious I part of our mind /psyche.12
9. Be on guard against mislabeled memories. Our raw memory images of what we
experience are of four differing types: neuter, masculine, feminine, and collective
masculine and feminine. If each is not ascribed the appropriate word type, raw reality
is mislabeled.
Most mislabeling involves the use of sex-connotative names for things that are either
imagined supernal life forms, abstract things, or human-made things (e.g.,God
Almighty, mother nature, father time, a grandfather clock ).
10. All classifying and naming of (a) the particulars of our natural environment, and
(b) the particulars of our cultural13 environment have been done by certain of us
human beings. For instance, it was one or more of us mortal creative mental powers
who called (named) the sunlit time ouh /day and the darkness time vkhk /night.
__________
12
I.e., the whole aggregate of parts that make up the human mental self: (a) the voluntary conscious level
minds I, and (b) the involuntary subconscious part that produces dreams, visions, hallucinations, good and not-good
impulses, etc. other spontaneous things.
13
By cultural environment, I mean all the things that have been designed, made, established, said, or otherwise
produced by we mortal creative powers.
ay each of you be encouraged to begin thinking for your individual self(s) after a common
sense manner about:
What is real, and what is of fantasy, envisionment, or mere speculation?
What is logical or credible, and what is not logical or credible?
What is fair or good, and what is not fair or good?
We also need to keep the things of nature distinguished from the things we mortal creative
powers have caused, established, or made. For instance, while spirituality appears to be of
involuntary nature, all religions are the product of human volition.
Again, do not be awestruck by any persons word. Every creative being ever to have come into
existence on this planet has been of the same breedHumankind. And however strange an event
might seem to you, all that has happened on this planet since the origination of our species has
either been of human cause, . . . involuntary nature alone, . . . or involuntary nature and human
choice combined.
Thus, may we cease spooking ourselves by devising ghost beings, demi-deities, etc. superstitious
characterizations to account for instances of involuntary natural phenomena which we might not
immediately fully understand. My as rule of thumb is__if the conclusion is contrary to one or more
of the laws of nature, the conclusion is incorrect.
Respectfully submitted, 14
14
See Ref. #041496 in Part IV- Appendix for a copy of my notification of birth registration certificate.
An Affirmation
____________
nasmuch as everything I now do or view is considered within the framework of what I have come
to believe or disbelieve since January 14, 1969, about the Cause of the primary natural cosmic
world and subsequent natural events, I am including a synopsis of those beliefs and disbeliefs here
at the forefront part of my account.
All things which exist, exist in time and space. Neither time nor space was
created. Both space and time are of an infinite15 dimension. Before the first primary
elements16 were created, time and space necessarily existed. The word universe
stands for only that portion of infinite or absolute space occupied by (1) primary
natural things,17 (2) sub-primary things, 18 and (3) secondary things.19 Likewise, the
word year refers to only relative or astronomical finite time; fundamental time is
infinite.
I.
15
I.e., was not created, has always existed, is of the absolute world dimension. Albeit infinite space is of
an indeterminate physical size, it is necessarily of a real size.
16
I.e., hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, etc. molecules of atoms from which all things in the created cosmic
world are made.
17
I.e., Only those things which were caused to come into existence up to and including the first generation of
living things of human creative being kind.
18
I.e., (a) things produced or reproduced after a completely involuntary or automatic order, and (b) things
produced or reproduced by way of involuntary nature and human choice combined (e.g., human babies, crossbred
animals, hybrid plants, cloned animals).
19
I.e., all the language systems, speeches, religions, governments, tools, building, scrolls, books, etc. things
created or developed by us mortal level creative powers.

II.
I believe that both the primary elements and the primary entities20 made from
various unique arrangements of those atomic particles were the artwork of an
Infinite/Absolute Creative Mental Power.21 So was the preestablished primary natural
process by which each species was seemingly gradually caused to come into
existence. Of this I am unable to experience any sustained disbelief.
III.
It is also my firm belief that our prayers are automatically intercepted and processed
by the ever-silent, but seemingly divine (holy), spiritual presence22 within the
involuntary subconscious part of our mental selves commonly called conscience.
However, it would appear that explicitly honest or straightforward I-to-You directed
praying is a prerequisite for stimulating this inner spiritual presence to significantly
helpful ordinary or routine sensory emissions, as well as the comparatively rare
visions.
I am also convinced that extraordinary spiritual revelation happenings are
produced by the involuntary part of our mental system. That is to say, I do not
believe that the envisioned Almighty Creative Power has ever directly communicated
with a mortally-existing human being.
IV.
Neither do I believe that the Almighty has at various times altered or manipulated
the natural involuntary weather patterns and/or other involuntary nature forces23 in
order to selectively torture, confuse, abuse, punish, or even exterminate specific
individual ones of us while sparing some others of us.24
Neither has any child been directly begotten by the Creative Cause of our
species, as was claimed in Mark 1:1: The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ,
the Son of God [ QeovHv / the Supreme Deity or Power]. Every child is begotten via
the sperm of a reproductively adult male human being.
20
E.g., stars, planets, moons, et cetera, . . . and lastly, the first or origin generation of each species.
21
I.e., Even the Almighty Thou had to exist in real space and at some real time while designing, and causing
the primary cosmic world to come into existence in the universe sector of infinite space.
(G rk.), and presence/
22
A lso named: C onscience (E ng.), H oly Spirit /
23
E.g., Earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, etc. turbulent and potentially destructive natural disasters.
vuvh
(H eb .).
24
E.g., Forewarning Noah of the impending deluge of flood waters, but leaving the other inhabitants to
drown; destroying the bulk of the citizenry of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, but saving Lot; and killing the
firstborn of the Egyptian, but sparing the firstborn of the Hebrew slaves.

I do not believe that any act of involuntary nature ever cancels or invalidates any
other act or law of involuntary nature. For instance, both immaculate conception
and resurrection are contrary to the laws of nature. For a fact:
V.
1. A female human being can be impregnated against her will (raped) by a male
human being, but no child is begotten by involuntary nature alone.
Immaculate conception and other happenings dubbed miracles are merely
natural events of which the actual details are not immediately clarified by us.
2. Corpses do not come back to life. Be the corpse of animal kind or human
kind, a fully dead body cannot be revived (resuscitated/ resurrected).
3. Physical ascension of the body up into heavenly space is another unwarranted
biblical author(s) claim. Upon the death of the body part of ourselves, the
invisible mental soul may rapidly ascend upward toward another realm of
space. But for a human body to freely ascend or rise up into outer space, the
earths gravity would have to cease functioning--and it obviously never has.
VI.
It is also my firm belief that all sensory presences that appear before us are caused
by the natural involuntary part of our mental self(s); that is, I do not believe in the
existence of either a Supernal25 demonic being (Satan ,Devil/ adversary), Supernal
angelic messengers, or mischievous little Supernal messengers (cherubs) that shoot
us in our hearts to cause us to fall in love.
VII.
I do not know whether the Originator-Owner of the primary world is good or not.
All I can affirm to is that the more explicitly honest or candid I am when praying out
my thoughts to this envisioned Absolute Creative Power, the more I come to
understand, and more at peace I feel.
VIII. I also do not know that immortal life follows upon the death of the human body.
But if everlasting or continued mental existence is not our ultimate common destiny,
human life is of no more value than that of the gnat. My tentative thought is that
immortality is a fact. Its only a thought, not a firm belief.
25
Compound words containing the word nature or natural imply things of the natural world. Therefore, I
use the word Supernal rather than supernatural when referring to either the Creative Cause of the primary cosmic
world or associated metaphorical personified supernal beings (e.g., satan /lit. adversary, angel/ lit. messenger).

IX.
I do not believe in either an infinite hell or everlasting damnation. That would be

an Absolute injustice. Moreover, there is no evidence in involuntary nature with
which to support such a theory. Indeed, why would any one of us s u p p o s e that
the Almighty Thou would make no allowance for the fact that each of us mortal
creative beings begins life on earth totally ignorant of what is safe or wise to do or
consume?
As for the born sinner claim, no child is a sinner at birth. It is our personal
choices that are more or less either sinful or not sinful. Neither are all of our
involuntary impulses or inclinations sinful; some are of a good or righteous quality.
And albeit the good or just behavior would be the only rational goal for us to
strive for, we naturally physically weak and emotionally frail finite level creative
beings of humankind cannot be expected to:
1. Never cease striving to overcome fear of the unknown or unfamiliar;
2. Never fail to discern and choose the good things over the not-good things;
3. Never fail to avoid misrepresenting ourselves;
4. Never fail to share the planets distributed natural resources with each other;
5. Never fail to appreciate each anothers diverse and differing high talents;
6. Never fail to avoid cowardly or unfair choices;
7. Never succumb to the self-defeating folly of making idols of some of us (e.g.,
Jesus), the creative works of one or more of us (e.g., the Jewish, Christian, or
Moslem Scriptures), or some other of-the-cosmic world thing (e.g., like those to
which the ancient Greek and Roman male and female deities of war, love, et cetera
were associated).
While I do not believe that either the biblical or modern day authors intended any
disrespect, it is both disrespectful and misleading to portray either (a) the envisioned
ohvkt/ Infinite Almighty Creative Power, or (b) vuvh/ the inner self-revealing holy spiritual
presence as speaking characters in fictionalized biblical narratives, poetry, novels, movies,
or TV dramas.

X.
I interpret life of creative being kind to be of three distinct types:

A) Infinite/Absolute__life without a beginning, and without an end.
B) mortal/or finite life__life with a beginning, and with an end.
C) immortal/or eternal life__life with a beginning, but without an end.
Mortal ( f i n i t e ) life is the only known or verifiable kind of creative life we can relate to.
Neither Infinite life nor immortal life is mortally knowable. Therefore, all of our conclusions about
these other two kinds of life are necessarily speculative.
I trust that my conclusions are not in error, and that my manner is acceptable.
Amen
About My Writing Style

Words are the clothes that thoughts wear__ only the clothes. 26
vkhk tre lajku ouh rutk ohvkt trehu 27

And God [the Almighty] called the light Day and the darkness He called Night. Gen. 1:5.28
___________
iterature is of two general genres: fiction and nonfiction.
Whereas the bulk of Genesis,
Exodus, and the other books of the Torah appears to be based on real events, the recounting of
those events is done in a heavily fictionalized narrative literary style rather than literally descriptive
nonfiction prose.
Figurative speech can be helpful, but it can also have the adverse effect upon our minds__ even
to the extreme. It depends upon w h a t the stated or implied subject is. Helpful figurative speech
is made up of words which stand for known or familiar things. Mr. Butlers metaphor is fair because
words and clothes and thoughts do refer to k n o w n things.
To be relatable, figurative speech must also represent an a c t u a l situation. Samuel Butlers
fictionalized statement does. For as with our bodies and the clothes we put upon them, the words
with which we label our inner thoughts are add-ons. Check it for yourself(s). Does not your mind
contain two types of memory images: (a) the natural or as raw unnamed ones of your experiences
and (b) the one or more words or other symbols you use for representing each of those unnamed raw
26
Butler, Samuel (1835-1902). English author.
27
Unless otherwise indicated, all of my included Hebrew examples will be taken from the copy of the Tanach
(Jewish Bible) included with the Hebrew/English word processor: DavkaWriter6. David Kantrowitz, CD-ROM ( Davka
Corporation and Judaica Press, 1996-2002). DW 6. In each instance, the featured Hebrew word or phrase will be
underlined, and the corresponding English translation of it italicized.
28
Unless otherwise noted, all translations of the Hebrew verses will be taken from the Jewish Publication
Society of Americas 1917 English version of the Tanach downloaded from website: http://www.shamash.org. JPS

audio, visual, etc. sensory experiences or realities?
In contrast, the given biblical example of figurative speech is not helpful. Not only is the
envisioned subject an unknown, the predicated part is untrue. Points of Fact:
gBoth the parts of the cosmic world and all the events which have been detected to have
occurred within it have been named by one or more of us finite level human creative mental
powers__not The Almighty Thou.
gNeither is the Genesis dramatization of the origination of the primary cosmic world an eyewitness account, for no human existed to witness the origination of the coming into
existence of the primary cosmic world creations.
When expressing our views or conclusions about either (a) the presumed Infinite Cause of our
species, or (b) the causes of involuntary natural events, we need to do so in a literally descriptive
straightforward nonfictional manner. Ascribing speaking lines to either the unknown
Almighty Ones
29
or the silent inner
vuvh/ holy
ohvkt /The
presence 30 (or any other part of our subconscious)
is not at all helpful. Of this I am certain. Although I shall at times be expounding upon the
origination of our species and subsequent natural events of both ordinary and extraordinary kind,
it will not be done in the fictionalized style of the biblical authors.
But let me also hasten to note that the authors of the Hebrew Scriptures had several linguistic
disadvantages which we users of English do not have, . . . and that this handicap needs to be allowed
for. A detailed commentary on the integral flaws of Classical Hebrew and consequential limitations
imposed upon the users of that language will be addressed in the critique on Biblical Hebrew to
follow after this entry. All I wish to point to now is t h e n e e d to identify and distinguish
fictionalized statements from nonfictional ones, and discern when the fictionalized style might not
be the fair literary mode to use.
Differing from both the Hebrew and the Greek biblical historical narrations of times past, most
modern historical narratives include a clarifying caveat to protect the reader from mistaking
fictionalized historical narrations for nonfiction ones. And rightly so. For at first glance, modern
29
In the collective or unified sense of oneness, or
30
a self-revealing holy or incorruptible spiritual presence, also called conscience or holy spirit.
Absolute/ Infinite Mental Power.

historical narratives can al s o read like nonfiction accounts. In fact, it was only after I had
completed reading Voyage on the Great Titanic: The Diary of Margaret Ann Brady
31
and was
checking for the copyright date that I discovered the diary to be a work of historical fiction. With
all the supportive photographs and other factual material about the voyage of the Titanic included
or alluded to in the book, I had initially presumed the heart-warming little diary to be a
nonfictional one. Fortunately, the following clarifying message was included on the credits page
of the book:
While the events described and some of the characters in this book may be based on actual historical
events and real people, Margaret Ann Brady is a fictional character, created by the author, and her
diary is a work of fiction.
Any language that does not include four differing cases of words: (1) masculine case, (2)
feminine case, (3) collective/duo-gender inclusive case, and (4) neuter case is necessarily a limited
or flawed language system; for there are in fact , these four differing types of things within the range
of human experience or contemplation.
Fortunately, English is a four-case language system. Albeit many of us English-speaking persons
use our native language anthropomorphically, it is not because English lacks a neuter case.
Neither is it because English lacks collective gender-inclusive case words that some of us still refer
to mixed groups of male and female entities with masculine case words. The English vocabulary
is replete with noun words, pronoun words, verb words, etc. other parts of speech words for each
of the four basic types of things which are either in, or in some other way pertinent to the cosmic
world of which we male and female mortals are indigenous members.
I
CANNOT OVER -EMPHASIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF MATCHING WORD CASE TO THE THING
REFERRED .
Most especially, things which are either not known, exist within the involuntary part
of the human mind, or are things created or established by us should be referred to by neuter case
words.
31
Ellen Emerson W hite (New York: Scholastic Inc., 1998). VGT

Following next are some English nouns and pronouns illustrative of each case kind:
1. Masculine
E.g., Lord, mankind, man, father, son, bull; he, him, his.
2. Feminine
E.g., Lady, womankind, woman, mother, daughter, cow; she, her, hers.
3. Collective
E.g., humankind, parents, children, cattle; they, them, their.
4. Neuter
E.g., name, The Almighty Creative Power, presence/ holy spirit/ conscience,
star, planet, hope, love, fear, hate, idea, religion, book; you, your, it, its.
In English, all first person English pronominal words (e.g., I/me, we/us, my/our, mine/ours) are
of common or all-purpose neuter case. And again, rightly so; for mentally speaking, we mortal
creative minds I(s) are neither male nor female. It is our respective p h y s i c a l male or female
reproductive genitalia and associated sex hormones of either masculine or feminine kind that make
each of us either a male-gendered human being or a female-gendered human being.
I can find no justification for using anthropomorphic32 phrasing when speaking and writing about
spiritual issues and other natural history or natural science topics in English. Although I may at
times use some metaphor or other figurative speech likened to that composed by Mr. Samuel Butler,
never again shall I ascribe or support the practice of ascribing speaking lines to the Almighty Thou.
Neither shall I personify or support the practice of personifying either (a) the inner source of our
good i n v o l u n t a r y inclinations or (b) the inner source of our adverse or unholy i n v o l u n t a r y
inclinations like the author(s) did in the following Hebrew verse from the Writings portion of the
Tanach33, and English translation of it:
: ohvkt cuht trh objv rnthu vuvh,t iyav ighu

Then Satan [lit. the adversary] answered >34 the LORD [divine presence] , and said: 'Doth
Job fear God [the Almighty Power] for nought? (Job 1:9)
In Biblical Hebrew, every envisioned source of either primary or subsequent involuntary

32
To anthropomorphize and/ or personify is to ascribe human physical properties and attitudes to something
which is either (a) not human or (b) is a part of the involuntary subconscious part of our mental self(s).
33
I.e., The Jewish Bible
34
I use the keyboard symbol > to represent
,t
when
,t
is used as a Definite Direct Object pointer.

functions or events is described as if it possessed eyes, ears, nostrils, tongue, lips, larynx, etc.
organic life tangible properties like we mortal creative powers do. Thus, you have to look beyond
the fictionalized speeches and dialogues for the authors probable or apparent intended idea or
theory.
__________
ther aspects of my revised thinking, speaking, and writing patterns which may vary or differ
from the traditional or more conventional style involve the use of:
1. Bibliographical credits
Full bibliographical credits for a reference source will be footnoted for the first referral.
In each instance thereafter, only the devised acronym will be given. For some references,
acronyms will vary according to the year. Both the footnotes full listings and the Credits
listings in Part IV - The Appendix will include the devised acronyms.
2. Brackets, strikeouts, footnotes, and endnotes
All bracketed expressions, strikeouts, footnotes, and endnotes appearing in this
document will be by me for clarification or editing purposes. Footnotes will be indicated
by Arabic numerals, endnotes by uppercase Roman numerals.
3. Dates
Each human baby is equally precious and equally important. Significant human life
did not begin with the birth of Jesus around two thousand years ago; it began with the
firstborns of our species an indeterminate number of years ago. Thus, I do not use BC (i.e.,
Before Christ) and AD (L. anno Domini/ in the year of the Lord) with dates. In my writing,
BCE (i.e., Before Common Era) is affixed to dates prior to the common era. Common era
dates will usually be written without the CE (Common Era) suffix:
Ex 1. The Greek philosopher Socrates was reportedly born around 470 BCE.
Ex 2. Titus Flavius Sabinus Vespasian Augustus conquered Jerusalem in 70.

4. Underlining and /or other emphasis indicators.
Underlining will sometimes be used for emphasizing a word or statement. Bold
lettering, italics, expanded spacing between word letters, a different color font (or even a
different font) may also be used for emphasis. Sometimes ellipsis will be used to link
together a string of directly associated thoughts which I wish to emphasize. Occasionally,
I may use small caps. But generally speaking, strings of all capital letters will be reserved
for acronyms and other all caps abbreviated forms, or when quoting text that includes all caps
lettering.
Ex. My favorite fictional personality is Tarzan, the leading character in Edgar Rice
Burroughs book: Tarzan of the Apes (1914).
Ex. I am not of mankind. Only adult and under adult age male human beings are of the
masculine gender human being. Like my grandmothers, mother, aunts, sisters, daughters,
granddaughters, and nieces, I am of the female gender: womankind.
Ex. The Creative Cause of the primary cosmic world is not known.
Ex. P l e a s e , p l e a s e read my footnotes, etc. collateral comments as you go along.
Ex. Of our whole mental self/psyche, only the conscious I part has independent voluntary
creative free will power.
Ex. And . . . said unto Moses: 'I AM THAT I AM'; (Exodus 3:14)
Ex. All that has happened within our domain of experience since the origination of our
species has either been of human cause, . . .involuntary nature alone, . . . or involuntary
nature and human choice combined.
5. The Parenthetical Plural

At times, I shall use the parenthetical form of the plural. One instance is when I wish to
refer to the individual and the whole simultaneously. Another is when the exact number
cannot be ascertained.
Ex. Of all life on earth, only we conscious I-self(s) have creative free will power.
Ex. Even though the narration literally implies otherwise, the author(s) of Genesis
absolutely did not witness the Originating of the primary cosmic world creations.

6. I/we, me/us, my/our, mine/ours
Since each of us has had an equal number of paternal and maternal p a r e n t a l ancestors
in all the preceding generations of our species, I tend to think of humankind in the
historically collective sense. To me, the word we means not only we mortals of this
generation but all of our respective deceased ancestors as well. Thus, I use pronominal
words like we, us, our, ours, ourselves more often than the human being, humankind, etc.
third person general titles when referring to both past and present generations of us.
7. Family names or titles
I reserve titles like father/mother, uncle/aunt, brother/sister, grandfather/grandmother, etc.
for referring to real human family members. The practice of referring to climatic or
geological events as works of mother nature, computer system boards as motherboards,
time as father time, the federal government as Uncle Sam, and non-kindred members of
a religious order as father, mother, sister, or brother, is both literally mis-representative and
disrespectful.
8. The General vs. the Particular
Words like man, mankind, and men are particular masculine case names. The
corresponding particular feminine case names are: woman, womankind, and women. When
referring to one or more male human beings, I shall use masculine case words. When
referring to one or more female human beings, I shall use feminine case words. Neither
mankind nor womankind refers to a species; thus, I shall use human being, humankind,
mortal creative powers or like non-gendered general titles when referring to our species.
The General vs. particular pattern also applies to the various species of animal kind:
Ex. And God [The Almighty] created man [the human species] in His own image, . . . ; male
and female He [, thus were ] created them. (Genesis 1:27)
Ex. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men [people] are created equal.
( from Declaration of Independence)
Ex. The policeman [police officer] gave the driver a ticket for speeding.
Ex. When a person is born, he [he or she] is completely innocent, sin-free.
Ex. There is a flock of ducks [waterfowl] in the creek behind my house.

9. Gender-specific words
The only time I shall use sex-connotative words is when I am referring to things which are
known to be endowed with either male or female sex genitalia and associated masculine
or feminine sex hormones. Neither shall I use he or she alone when referring to those
groups which by nature or assembly are known to be composed of both male and female
members.
Ex. After all, if Justice is truly just, she [it] need not be blind. 35
Ex. The Titanic, with her [its] glittering passenger list, seemed like the ultimate example
of human achievement . . . . __from the Historical Note section of VGT.
Ex. As Mathews entered the 20th Century, her [its] residents continued their close
relationship with the sea. __ http://www.visit mathewsva.com.
Ex. A student who wants to be educated must be courageous indeed. He [He or She] must
expect all his [his or her] comforts and illusions and complacencies to be ruthlessly ripped
away.36
10. The words: vuvh and Lord

The only time I shall use the honorary title of Lord (Master, Sir) is when referring to a
male human being. The biblical Hebrew word for Lord is iust (adon). hbust is
pronounced as Adonai, and means either my Lord/ Master or Lord/Master of . . . .
The first two examples below illustrate (1) the use of the Hebrew phrase
hbust
(Adonai)/ my Lord in the Torah, and (2) the English word Lord in British culture. Example
(3) shows the construct use of
vuvh, and (4) the independent use:
Ex-1
. . . . ; uagk hbstk vjuka tuv vjbn ceghk lscgk ,rntu

Then you shall say: They are your servant Jacobs; it is a present sent
unto my lord [or lord (of )me], even unto Esau; . . . . (Genesis 32:19)
Ex-2
Lord Charles Cornwallis was a British general during the American Revolution.
Ex-3
:ohnau .rt ohvkt vuvh ,uag ouhc`

In the day that the LORD [the presence (of)] God [ the Almighty Creative Power]
made earth and heaven. ( Genesis 2:4)
35
Guy Rocha, ( Nevada State Archivist). Seeing Justice In Virginia City (on -line) 09/27/2000 United States
site: http:/ / dmla.clan.lib.nv.us/ docs/ NSLA/ archives.
36
W illiam F. Smith and Raymond D. Liedlich, From Thought to Theme: A Rhetoric and Reader for College
English ( USA: Harcourt, Brace & W orld, Inc., 1968). 3. FTTT

Ex-4
:vuvh,t
aht h,hbe rnt,u
/and (she) said: I have gotten a man [male child]
with the help of the LORD [involuntary nature]. (Genesis 4:1)
The noun
vuvh is derived from vuv,
the emphatic form of the simple verbal root to be/
exist, and actually means presence/ existence (a self-revealing seemingly divine spiritual
presence). In order to faithfully represent it, the Hebrew word
hw"hy / divine presence
needs to be pronounced according to the Masoretes vocalization of the word: Yeho-vah.

Again, Adonai is merely the transliteration of a different Hebrew word of different
meaning: hbust/ my lord, master. For further commentary on the literal meaning of vuvh
when paired with ohvkt, see item XI. in A Critique on Biblical Hebrew.
11. The words:
ohvkt and
God
It is inconsistent with the natural evidence to suppose that the envisioned Originator of
our species and other gendered living things of earth is of either gender form. Like
femininity, masculinity is a Created fi ni t e physical reproductive property. Gender-specific
words connote reproductive sex organs (e.g., penis and/or vagina) and associated masculine
or feminine hormone-driven sexual urges involved with the reproductive process peculiar
to living things of both animal kind and ourselves. Therefore, I shall neither devise nor
passively quote statements that refer to the Almighty Thou by sex-implicative words like (a)
God, Father, King, Lord, He, Him, His, or (b) Goddess, Mother, Queen, Lady, She, Her,
Hers. When used in the Torah with a singular verb, ohvkt means the Almighty Creative
Power envisioned to have made the primary cosmic world; when used with a plural verb,
ohvkt means other gods/ deities (e.g., the sun, etc. physical objects of worship).
12. Biblical Hebrew and other comparatively foreign words
Some biblical Hebrew and biblical Greek words have either been or will be included
and commented about at various places within this treatise. A table including the main
biblical words and their English equivalents is provided on the next page.
The literal ( abbreviated to lit.) meaning of each of the Hebrew ones is listed first. In

the third column are the Greek equivalents and their English translations:
Biblical Hebrew
ohvkt
American English
Biblical Greek
lit. The Almighty Ones, The

Absolute Creative Power
qeos , singular
lit. presence /divine presence,

[also, conscience /or source of
conscience]
Pneuma Agion
(holy spirit* )
vzjn (qvzj)
lit. a vision (/ vb. perceive a vision)
iust\ ist
lit. Lord/ A-don (Master, Mister,

Sir, etc. honorary male titles)
ku/rio$ (Lord,)
lit. messenger / mal-ach
(angel)
lit. adversary /sa-tan
G, ,
vuvh
ltkn
iya
(God, Supreme Deity)
(Satan, Devil)
ktua
lit. asking place /sho-al
, ( hell, Hades)
jhan
lit. anointed one/ ma-shei-ach
(Messiah,
Christ)
* While the phrase PneumatoV Agiou in Matthew 1:18
37
is translated as Holy Ghost, it
necessarily means involuntary nature. In Ephesians 4:30, the slightly different phrase: Pneuma
to Agion tou Qeou is translated as Holy Spirit of God [the Supreme Power ].
The Greek is from The Interlinear Bible: Hebrew-Greek-English..38 A symbolic 39 Hebrew
37
Christian testament examples will be taken from (The Holy [Sacred (set apart)] Bible: Authorized King James
Version (London and New York: Collins Clear-Type Press. Printed in Great Britain, 1941). KJV.
38
Jay P. Green, Sr., ( Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1985). TIB.
39
I.e., not literal. W e may feel guilty before or want to hide from
vuvh,
but it does not call out to us.

equivalent to the quoted Greek phrase in Ephesians 4:30 may be found in Genesis 3:9:
:vfht uk rnthu ostv-kt ohvkt vuvh trehu

And the LORD [the divine presence] (of) God [the Almighty Power] called unto the man, and
said unto him: 'Where art thou?'
Keep in mind that it is we I(s) who do the interpreting of all that comes before us. You have
only to examine your own individual mental self(s) to know that
vuvh
/the involuntary level
spiritual presence (or source of conscience) within d o e s n o t a c t u a l l y speak to you.

Likewise, the dialogues between iya (sa-tan) /an imagined infinite demonic adversary and
one or more of us mortal I(s) elsewhere in the Tanach (Jewish Bible) are also metaphorical
dramatizations rather then literally factual documentations.
So is the one about ajb (na-chosh) / the serpent (sorcerer) character in the idolatry temptation
allegory in the third chapter of Genesis. Both
ajb and iya are personifications of the in-mind
source of our natural involuntary adverse (e.g., not-good, dishonorable, unfair) impulses or
inclinations.
As for the fundamental cause of these conflicting involuntary impulses, the Supernal cause is
necessarily The Designer-Creator of the human being mind-body system. Please note that without
this duality, we would not be capable of :
Choosing to kill hordes of wild animals that might otherwise kill us off__as well as choosing to
try to save the life of an endangered species,
Choosing to create shelters of various designs__ rather than automatically make shelters of
one kind only (as each species of animal kind is constrained to do),
Appreciating the primary creations__as well as resenting or disliking the floods, hurricanes,
tornadoes, typhoons, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, etc. natural disasters that regularly result
in some untimely deaths,
Choosing to worship or not to worship the envisioned (but actually unknown) Infinite Cause of
the natural cosmic world creations.

Is not this natural freedom a most wonderful thing? I surely find it so. And although the
envisioned Creative Cause of the cosmic world (ohvkt) would be the only creative mental power
to possibly be worthy of our faithful submission and reverence, what a good thing it is to be at
liberty to think it through and reason about it before deciding to or not to submit to worship this
hypothetical Absolute Infinite Power!
By nature, we are both physically and mentally free beings. Whether it be physical or
psychological, all enslavements are of human cause. Enslavement is evil; no enslavement is
justifiable. Albeit the inherent involuntary desire to be physically comfortable makes us highly
vulnerable to making unfair choices over fair ones, there is always the option to choose the fair or
just action over that of the unfair or unjust kind.
Life on earth is challenging. As previously noted, each of us is born totally ignorant of how to
be a good and wise human being. Yet, are not our daily involuntary needs, feelings, and desires
the stimulus that causes us to think, to search, to discover, and ultimately grow in understanding and
hopefully good character?
A Critique on Biblical Hebrew

With Emphasis on the Use of ohvkt and
____________
vuvh
Fig. 4. Leningrad Codex sample. Upload.wikimedia.org. Credit:

Pvasiliadis.
.
Fig. 5. Chart from page 414 of First Hebrew Primer, 3rd ed. is courtesy of EKS
Publishing Company.
y reason for including a photo image from a page of the hand-inscribed Leningrad Codex on
the cover page for this entry is because this codex is the oldest complete manuscript of the Jewish
Bible (the Tanach). While the calligraphy may vary from scroll or book, this Ben Asher Masoretic
text of 1009 is the text in which all the Hebrew bibles I have seen and/or read from is written. It is
also my understanding that this is the Hebrew text upon which the KJV translation of the Tanach is
based.
The Hebrew Alphabet chart on the second page of this entry was included to help you familiarize
yourself with the shapes and sounds of both (a) the Ancient and Modern/Biblical Hebrew alphabets
and (b) the added vowel signs devised by the Masoretic scholars.
Inasmuch as all the Biblical Hebrew texts I have observed have been of the Masoretic text, that
is the biblical text from which I have taken all the Hebrew examples included in this treatise. While
there is not much difference between the standard KJV 1611 authorized translation of the Hebrew
bible (Tanach) and the JPS 1917 translation, I find the JPS 1617 translation tends to be more
consistent with the literal root meanings of the Hebrew words given in resource books like: A
Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old [First] Testament 40, The Ancient Hebrew Lexicon of the
Bible 41, The New Strongs Complete Dictionary of Bible Words 42, and Langenscheidts Pocket
Hebrew Dictionary : Hebrew-English.43 But as previously noted, there are several notable
mistranslations in both the KJV translation and the JPS version.
In order to get to the apparent or most likely intended meaning of a Hebrew phrase or verse in the
Torah narratives, you must first determine the literal root meaning(s) of the involved words, . . .and
how they are used. As previously noted, there is the constant mistranslation of the Hebrew word
vuvh as Lord [ a mere title for a man, as with the phrase van hbst / my lord Moses in Numbers
11:28)]. And as I have also previously mentioned, God 44 is not equivalent to ohvkt/ When used
with a plural verb, ohvkt refers to finite gods/ deities; but when it is used with a singular verb (as
in Genesis I:1), ohvkt means the Omnipotent /Infinite/ever-existing non-organic Almighty Creative
40
41
42
Francis Brown, S. R. Driver, and Charles A. Briggs ( Oxford: Clarendon Press, November 1951). HELOT
Jeff A. Benner ( Station, TX: Virtualbookworm.com Publishing Inc., 2005). AHLB
43
James Strong ( Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1996). SDBW

Dr. Karl Feyerabend (Maspeth, NY: Langenscheidt Publishers, Inc.). LPHD
44
The word God appears to be derived from the masculine case Greek word qev (Theos/ Supreme Power).

Cause of the primary cosmic world.
Due to the integral design of the Hebrew language system, word-to-word correspondence is not
always possible when translating Hebrew words or phrases into English. The synopsis to follow
includes a listing of these grammatical constraints or limitations, as well as other notable ways in
which the Biblical Hebrew language differs from the English language.
Now for the specific grammatical restraints imposed upon users of the Hebrew language:
1. Biblical Hebrew is devoid of neuter case nouns. All Hebrew nouns are ascribed a
grammatical gender of either masculine or feminine kind__even though not all things are of
either a masculine or feminine nature.
2. Biblical Hebrew is devoid of neuter/neutral case 2nd and 3rd person pronouns.
This ancient language has common pronominal forms equivalent to I/me, we/us, and
my/our, but none equivalent to the all-purpose neutral you, it or its. For a fact, one cannot
even pray after an I-to-Thou manner in Hebrew without implying that the envisioned
Infinite Mental Power is instead of physically embodied finite life kind:
v,t
,t
(masc. sg.)
you, one lone male-embodied deity (i.e., a God)
(fem. sg.)
you, one lone female-embodied deity (i.e., a Goddess)
o,t
(masc. pl.)
you, two or more male-embodied deities (i.e., Gods)
i,t
(fem. pl.)
you, two or more female-embodied deities (i.e., Goddesses)
3. Biblical Hebrew is devoid of gender-collective nouns. Most groupings which by

nature or assembly are composed of both male and female members are usually referred to by
masculine plural nouns (e.g.,
ancestors -collectively).
,uct
is for both fathers/male parental ancestors, and
4. Biblical Hebrew is also devoid of neuter and gender-collective verbs. The only
common or neutral verbs in Biblical Hebrew are 1st-person past, 3rd person plural past, and
1st person future. All other verbs are ascribed either a masculine or feminine grammatical
gender.

The literal relevancy of Hebrew verses in the Torah is further hampered by the size of the
Classical Hebrew vocabulary. If you do not have enough unique words with which to distinguish
each thing from each other thing within the scope of human experience, some things are either
going to be nameless or misnamed. And as it happens, Biblical Hebrew consists of a very, very
small vocabulary. There really are not enough unique words with which to represent all the possible
events within the range of human experience. For example, part of human reproduction is of
involuntary physical nature, yet in Genesis 4:1, the involuntary gestation part is instead attributed
to
vuvh / the divine spiritual presence [source of conscience] within human mind:
rnt,u ihe-,t sk,u rv,u u,at vuj-,t gsh ostvu
:vuvh-,t aht h,hbe
And the man knew Eve his wife; and she conceived and bore Cain, and said: 'I have
gotten a man [male child] with the help of the LORD .' [involuntary nature].
The apparent or necessary meaning of the word vuvh in the above verse is the involuntary nature
part of human reproduction. The only voluntary parts of human reproduction are: (1) the decision
to cohabit, (2) the act of cohabiting, and (3) the decision to try to sustain/or not sustain the begottenconceived child once it has been begun. The sex drives, actual fusing of the sperm and ovum,
gestation, and birthing are of involuntary nature. But as it is, the Hebrew Torah vocabulary lacks
a separate word or phrase equivalent to involuntary nature.
Neither is there any word other than vuvh in the Torah vocabulary equivalent to holy spirit or
spiritual presence. While the author(s) of the Torah have sometimes used
vuvh
to mean the
presumed divine presence (of) ohvkt, it is also used as if it were instead a synonym for ohvkt.
Again, vuvh is also sometimes used to mean the involuntary nature part of human reproduction.
We users of the English language system are not similarly disadvantaged. Thus, when translating
the Hebrew expressions into English equivalents, we canand need to--select words which are
consistent with the apparent or necessary meaning of the Hebrew words or phrases. To take the
metaphorical expressions in the Hebrew Torah literally would be a disservice to these past peers of
ours, . . .ourselves, . . .and the Almighty Thou.

Genesis 4:1 is but one of the many, many instances in the Torah where a natural involuntary
process or event is recounted of as having i n s t e a d been directly orchestrated by either (1)
/The Almighty Infinite Power, (2)
vuvh
/the holy spiritual presence, (3)
ltkn
ohvkt
/a Supernal
messenger, or (4) some Supernal evil tempter. In chapter 3 of Genesis, our inclination to idolatry
is personified as likened to a subtle serpent:
ajb
(na-chosh)/ lit. sorcerer.
adversary is not in the Torah; the first usage of the word
iya is
iya
(sa-tan)/
in Zechariah 3:1:
vuvh ltkn hbpk sng kusdv ivfv gauvh ,t hbtrhu

ubyak ubhnh kg sng iyavu
And he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel [ (malach )/ messenger] of the
LORD [(Yehovah ) / divine presence], and [the] Satan [(satan) / the adversary] standing at his
right hand to accuse him [i.e., to act as adversary].
ther notable but not limiting ways in which Biblical Hebrew differs from English that you need
to be aware of include:
I. Hebrew Alphabet, Vowels, and Direction of Writing
Hebrew consists of twenty-two consonants, and is written and read from right to left.
See the chart on the inside of the cover page of this entry for a listing of the Hebrew
consonants plus the vowel symbols devised by the Ben Asher family of Jewish scholars for
aiding with correct pronunciation of the formerly vowel-less Hebrew texts. These
vocalization symbols are placed above, below, within, or beside the consonants (as shown
in the Leningrad codex example). But except when necessary for clarification of the specific
pronunciation of a word or phrase, I shall not be using the pointed Hebrew text in this
critique. My emphasis is upon the literal and/or apparent contextual meaning of the Hebrew
words or phrases. And in Biblical Hebrew, the fundamental meaning is carried by the root
consonants.
For instance, the triliteral root k/f/t pertains to eating. (e.g., kft / he ate, vkft / she
ate; kft /food; kftn / knife, for cutting food). Without the Masoretic vowel signs, the
verb: kft /he ate could not be distinguished from the noun:
context, as in: kftv
kft / food except through
,t kft /He (or it) ate/consumed > the
food.
II. The Definite particle v/ the, and the Definite Direct Object Pointer ,t
In Biblical Hebrew, the definite article the is simply the letter v prefixed to the word
or phrase to which it applies, as in kftv/ the food and kfutv/the one(masc.) who eats/
is eating. There is no a or an in the Biblical Hebrew vocabulary. If a noun is not definite,
it is understood to be indefinite.
The v is dropped when combined with a prepositional prefix: c,
f, k, as in: ,hcc
/ in-the house, jhaf/as or like-the plant, and vc,k / to or for-the ark.

When the direct object is a definite noun, it is almost always preceded by the direct
object pointer ,t, as in Genesis 1:1 and the excerpt from Genesis 4:1 below:
/.rtv ,tu ohnav ,t ohvkt trc ,hatrc

a) In the beginning, The Almighty created > the heaven and > the earth.
b)
u,at vuj ,t gsh ostv/ And the man knew > Eve, his wife
,t is also used to form direct object pronouns (e.g., h,t /me, u,t
/ him, V,t /her, etc.
At other times, the same combinations ( with different vowels) are used to represent the
prepositional phrases:
h,t/ with me, u,t /with him, V,t /with her, et cetera.
III. Pronunciation
With the exception of the consonants
c, f, p, a, and the vowel qametz( I ),
Hebrew letters and vowels are always pronounced the same. Once you learn the sounds of
the Hebrew letters and the Masoretic vocalization signs, it is possible to read Hebrew aloud
without even knowing what the words mean. The English included with the Hebrew version
of Genesis 1:1 to follow is my syllabicated transliteration of a verse that I scanned from a
printout of the pointed [i.e., text including vowels and other vocalization or punctuation
signs] verse from the Tanach included with version 6 of the DavkaWriter Hebrew/English
word processor:
Bre`sheit ba-ra El-o-heim e`t hash-sha-ma-yim ve`t ha-aretz.

IV. Phrases
Many of the Hebrew expressions are phrases of two or more words. For instance,
the
,hatrc from Genesis 1:1 is a prepositional phrase of three English words: in, the,
and beginning.
c is the in-the part. ,hatr is the beginning part.
V. Capitalization
As you can see from the included Alphabet chart, five Hebrew letters have differing
forms when used at the end of a word or phrase. However, all Hebrew letters are of the
same case. All the capitalization in English translations is of translators choice, as in the
following two translations of
dh:s ,hatrc/ Genesis 4:13):
:tuabn hbug kusd vuvh-kt ihe rnthu

And Cain said unto the LORD [the divine presence]: My punishment is greater than I can
bear. . . . JPS
And Cain said unto the Lord [ the divine. presence], My punishment is greater than I can
bear. JCL 45
VI. Number
Hebrew letters have numerical values. But in the Hebrew bible, they are only used in
this manner to number chapters and verses, as in Genesis 1:2.
` uvcu uv, v,hv .rtvu
/c
2. And the earth was without form, and void ;
Within the text of Biblical Hebrew verses, both ordinal numbers (as in Genesis 1:31):
:haav ouh rec hvhu crg hvhu

And was evening and was morning, the sixth day.
45
Judaic Classics Library II. CD-ROM (Chicago, Il: Institute for Computers in Jewish Life.& Davka
Corporation, 1991-1995). JCL

and cardinal numbers (as in Genesis 23:1) are always written out in word form:
` / / /ohba gcau vba ohragu vba vtn vra hhj uhvhu

And the life of Sarah was a hundred year and twenty year and seven years.46
VII. Word Order

The verb usually precedes the subject in the Torah narratives, as in Genesis 1:1:
/ .rtv ,tu ohnav ,t ohvkt trc ,hatrc

IN THE beginning God [The Almighty Power] created the heaven and the earth.
It is my understanding that if the subject is to be emphasized, the subject precedes the

verb, as in Genesis 2:6: .rtv in vkgh sgu / and a mist went up from the earth.
With the exception of cardinal numbers greater than one, Hebrew adjectives follow
rather than precede the noun to which they apply. Like verbs and pronouns, Hebrew
adjectives must agree in number and gender with the number and grammatical gender of the
nouns which they modify, as in the two following sets of masculine and feminine phrases:
Ex.
Ex.
Ex.
hghcav ouhc/ in the seventh day47; ,hghcav vkhkc/ in the seventh night48
sjt aht/ one man; ,jt vat/ one woman.
ohba gcau vba ohragu / and twenty year, and seven years.
VIII. Verb Tenses/Moods

Hebrew has only two tenses, or as they are called moods: Perfect (past or completed),
and Imperfect (future or uncompleted). With the added prefix u49, the Imperfect tense can
be reversed to read as if it were either past or present tense, as in the JPS translation of the
46
Years ten or less take the plural form,
47
ouh is a masculine case noun.

vkhk is a feminine case noun.
48
49
ohba;
years greater than ten take the singular form,
See item XII. for an explanation of vav consecutive.
vba.

Imperfect verbal expression (I will be who/what I will be) in Exodus 3:14:
` vhvt rat vhvt van-kt ohvkt rnthu

And God [the Almighty] said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM;
At other times, the Present tense is indicated by Participles, as in Genesis 2:11:
/ / / / vkhujv .rt kf ,t ccxv tuv iuahp sjtv oa

The name of the first is Pishon; that is it which compasseth [flows around] the whole
land of Havilah, where there is gold;
IX. Possessive case

Possession or other close relationship between two or more things is illustrated via the
construct case (See Item XI for examples). The possessive case is also represented by
attaching pronominal suffixes to individual nouns, as in Genesis 4:1:
`u,at5 0 v u j ,t gs h o stvu / and the man knew > Eve, his wife;
Biblical Hebrew has neither an apostrophe () nor a question mark (?). By composition
order, u,at would be wife (of) him, but is usually translated as his wife.
Interrogative statements are introduced with either interrogative words like
vn/ what? etc., or
an introductory interrogative hey ( v
hfbt hjt rnav
50
) prefix, as in:
/ lit. the guard or keeper (of) my brother am I?
v (as vat /wife, woman) does , the v

, before adding a possessive ending form, as with u,at / his wife, his woman.
W hen a Hebrew noun is classified as feminine and ends in
usually changed to
hn/ who?,
is

Hebrew/English Possessive Suffixes for Singular Nouns 51
Singular Suffix
my/ of me
ub
your/ of you
of
Plural Suffix
Gender
our/ of us
common
your/ of you
masculine
your/ of you
if
your/ of you
feminine
his/ of him, it
their/ of them
masculine
their/ of them
feminine
her/ of her, it
Like personal pronouns, only the 1st person possessive endings are of the common case.
While the 2nd person pronominals are gender-specific, they translate out into neutral terms
when converted into English form (e.g., you, your). The 3rd person plural pronominal
endings also translate out into neutral forms (e.g., them, their). But inasmuch as all Hebrew
nouns are ascribed a grammatical gender of either masculine or feminine kind, the third
person singular pronominals translate out as gender-specific forms (e.g., either his, him or
her)__even when the subject is not a finite male or female entity.
Ex. vag
rat u,ftkn hghcav ouhc ohvkt kfhu
And finished (He) the Almighty on the seventh day from all His work that He had made.
& the verb have

Biblical Hebrew has no verb have. Verbal expressions equivalent to have, has,
had, etc. are formed by affixing k, the inseparable form of the preposition kt/ to or for,
to the related noun or pronoun. For example, Sarah shall have a sonwould be written as:
ic vrak /lit. to Sarah (is) a son. Depending upon context, the same expression could
also mean to Sarah (will be) a son, or Sarah will have a son.
When expressing have situations in the perfect or imperfect moods, the construction
may include some form of vhv (the simple to be/ exist verb) in addition to the inseparable
51
Plural nouns take
their sons, and
ov-
in the 3rd person masculine,
ivhbc/ (f) their sons).
iv - in the 3rd person feminine (e.g., ovhbc /(m)

preposition
k/ to, for, as in this excerpt from Genesis 13:5:

itm vhv orct-,t lkvv yukk-odu
And also to Lot, who went with Abram, was flock(s), [literal translation by me]
In the present tense, the k formation may include

Sarah a son (Sarah has a son). The negative of
ah
ah, as in ic vrak ah/
is
There is to
iht /there is not, are not:, as in
Genesis 2:5:
vnstv ,t scgk iht ostu / and there was not [52] a man to till the ground;
tuk (lo) and kt (al)
In addition to the negative iht ( is/ are not) of existence, there are the two negatives of
X. The Negatives
prohibition: tuk /or
tukqtk
tk , and kt/
is used to indicate permanent prohibitions,
temporary ones.
kt
kt
to indicate immediate or
(al) is made up of the same consonant pair as are several other
kt is easily distinguished from the other kt/

When used as a command, kt means Do not. When used as a preposition, kt means to, for.
And when it is used as a noun, kt means either Almighty , or deity.
In the first three examples below, kt is used as either (1) a noun, (2) a preposition, or
Hebrew words. Generally speaking, each
(3) a temporary negative command. Number four t o follow on the next page is an example
of
tk\tuk, the negative for permanent prohibition :

1.
hsa kthbt uhkt rnthu orctkt vuvh trhu
And the LORD [divine presence] appeared to Abram, and said unto him: 'I am God
[Deity Almighty/Self-sufficient]; (Genesis 17:1)
2.
3.
sjt ouen-kt/ unto one place. (Genesis 1:9)

lbhcu hbhc vchrn hv, tb-kt yuk-kt orct rnthu
And Abram said unto Lot: 'Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee.
(Genesis 13:8)
52
The literal meaning of the word
translated as was.
iht is is not;
but since the verse is of the reversing vav type,
iht is

& 4.:rea
sg lgrc vbg, tk : cbd, tk : ;tb, tk : jmr, tk
53
Thou shall not murder. Thou shall not commit adultery. Thou shall not steal. Thou shall
not bear false witness against thy neighbor. (Exodus 20:13)
XI. The Construct Chain or Word Pairing to indicate relationships

In Biblical Hebrew, there is no word of. The of-relationship is indicated by two or more
nouns or noun phrases in a side by side chain. In the following f i g u r a t i v e example from
Genesis 3:9, the first or controlling noun is vuvh:
ostv kt ohvkt vuvh trehu

And the LORD [ divine presence] of God [Almighty Power] called unto the man,
When translated according to rules of grammar for the Hebrew construct chain, and
given literal meaning of each of the combining nouns, the English equivalent to ohvkt vuvh
is: the presence (of) The Almighty Mental Power [our Creator].
Again, vuvh is clearly not a synonym for hbst/my Lord, or Lord. The meanings of vuvh
hbst are no more alike than the meaning of the English words Lady and conscience or
and
holy spirit are alike. There are, however, some instances in the Torah where Lord or my
Lord would be the correct translation. Here are four examples:
ovrct hbst hvkt vuvh

the presence (of the) God [Almighty Deity] (of) my Lord Abraham. (Genesis 24:27)
uagk
hbstk iurnt, vf rntk
o,t umhu
And he [Jacob] commanded them, saying, Thus shall you speak to my lord, to Esau (Genesis
32:5)
otkf van hbst rnthu uhrjcn van ,ran iub ic gauvh ighu
And Joshua the son of Nun, the minister of Moses from his youth up, answered and said:
'My lord Moses, shut them in.' (Numbers 11:28)
,uae ub,t .rtv hbst ahtv rcs

The man, the lord of the land, spoke roughly with us, . . . . (Genesis 42:30)
53
From The Pentateuch and Haftorahs, edited by Dr. J. H. Hertz, C.H., Late chief rabbi of the British
Empire (London: Soncino Press, 1967). PAH

XII. The Conjunctive u (and ) and Vav consecutive
Like the definite article v/ the, the conjunctive u /and only exists in prefix form, as in
Genesis 2:9:
gru cuy ,gsv .gu / and the tree (of) knowledge (of )good and evil.
But the most unique thing about the Hebrew
prefix among all Semitic languages is
its usage as a vav consecutive (or as some describe it, a reversing vav). The fundamental
rule for the vav-consecutive is:
1) If the first of the verbs in the narrative series is in the perfect tense and all the
subsequent verbs are in the imperfect tense, the imperfect tense verbs are to be read as if
in the perfect tense.
2) Conversely, if the first of the verbs in the narrative are in the imperfect tense, and all
the subsequent verbs are in the perfect, the perfect tense verbs are to be read as if in the
imperfect tense.
The example I shall be using is illustrative of both (a) the u /and used as a simple
conjunction, and (b) used as a vav consecutive in a narrative sequence where the imperfect
tense verbs are reversed to be read and translated as if in the perfect tense.
In order that the translation of the Hebrew Torah portion to follow might be free of
misdirective sexist terms, I am inserting an ellipsis in all instances of the JPS English
translation that contain God, he, or like organic life suggestive sex-specific words. The
following Hebrew verses from Genesis I:1-3 are as they appear in JPS Bible without the
vocalization signs included:
:.rtv ,tu ohnav ,t ohvkt trc ,hatrc /t

1. IN THE beginning . . . created the heaven and the earth.
ohvkt juru ouv, hbp kg laju uvcu uv, v,hv .rtvu /c

:ohnv hbp kg
2 Now the earth was unformed and void, and darkness was upon the face of the
deep; and the spirit [or wind] of . . . hovered over the face of the waters.
:rut hvhu rut hvh ohvkt rnthu /d

3 And . . . said: 'Let there be light.' And there was light.

The first converted imperfect tense verb in the preceding example, rnthu/ and said i s
preceded by two verbs of the perfect tense: trc /created in Genesis I:1, and
v,hv/ was in
Genesis I:2.
A g a i n , p l e a s e pause to notice that while the Genesis narrative about the origination
of the primary cosmic world reads like an eye-witnessed account, it is not; for no human
being existed to witness the creating of the primary cosmic world.
XIII. Quotations or Direct Speech

Hebrew text does not contain quotation marks. In the Hebrew Bible, the direct or exact
words ascribed to a human or nonhuman character are often introduced in by either
or
rntk, as in the following verses from Genesis 1:3, and
rnthu
22, respectively:
rut-hvh ohvkt rnthu

And God [The Almighty] said, Let there be light.
/ / / / /rntk ohvkt o,t lrchu

And God [The Almighty] blessed them, saying: . . . .
The Hebrew Torah narratives include lots of direct speech. In a few instances, the speaking
line is ascribed to a metaphorical or fancied creature (e.g., the tempter serpent in Genesis 3:1). That
type of direct speech is of no extraordinary challenge. Neither is the direct speech attributed to
various individuals of the Abram family lineage. But the direct speech ascribed to either
or
vuvh
ohvkt
is a far, far different matter! In addition to the doubts raised concerning the integrity of
the unknown Cause of primary nature, the direct speech ascribed to either
ohvkt or vuvh also puts
Abrahams conversion in question; Moses extraordinary level spiritual awakening in question;

and in general, it also compromises all other persons of Jewish affiliation.
But how, you might ask, do we separate the fictional direct speech part from the possibly
factual part in the Hebrew Torah narrations on (a) the originating of the primary cosmic world and

subsequent (b) human transcendental mental phenomena?
By drawing from the involuntary natural evidence within and around about us, and evaluating the
evidence after a logical and explicitly honest manner__while keeping in mind that believing or
speculating is not equal to knowing. We interpret natural phenomena. It says nothing about why
it occurs or the creative source behind it. In all instances, it is we mortal creative mental powers
who do all the talking about and/or describing of what we feel, see, hear, smell, taste, touch, and/or
intuit. Thats a fact.
As for our vulnerability to revere, personify, or deify animals, persons, persons ideas, etc.
tangible things (including the Torah and subsequent biblical writings), I would refer you to the
following segment of the Apocrypha, Wisdom 14:12-13:
For the devising of idols was the beginning of spiritual fornication [ i.e., spiritual infidelity], and
the invention of them the corruption of life. For neither were they from the beginning, neither
shall they be forever.
I, too, think that the devising of idols wasand still is--the major human error. Messiahs, for
instance, are fantasized entities, and thus are of no help.
Point of Fact: We mortal creative powers cannot be saved from being human.
Bow down to another human being as if he or she were the unknown Almighty Thous gobetween? Never again! It is not possible to worship or revere the Creative Cause of our species
and one or more of our past or present peers at the same time. Of this I am certain.
Candid or explicitly honest I-to-Thou praying can produce remarkable results. It appears to have
been the action that resulted in my experiencing the opportunity for psychological emancipation from
acquired spiritual fornication ( human idol reverence /worship). No longer as psychologically
blinded by the say-so of certain of my former past and/or present generation peer idols, it is like
living in a new world. Without the biblical horrific stories turning me off from thinking about

ultimate issues, life is sweet. And despite all my ignorance regarding the envisioned Almighty Thou
(ohvkt) and our ultimate destiney, I feel at peace.
Fig. 6. Background image (Caribbean Nights.jpg) is the courtesy of Jason Del Guidice, www.imagionationx.net. The
foreground layer of a prototype human family silhouette is adapted by me from a page in a childs coloring book.
opefully, the information provided in this introductory portion and elsewhere within this
document will help you to dislodge some of the mystique surrounding the Hebrew Torah and
subsequent biblical writings, and therein help promote investigative thought about both (1) h o w
our species and the other primary creations came to be, and (2) t he real cause of such involuntary
natural events as:
An asleep dream, or as the author of Job 30:15 called this type of involuntary mental
projection,
vkhk iuhzj
/ vision (of the) night.
An awake vision, like the one of a burning bush not consumed by the flame recounted of in
Exodus 3:2.
A catastrophic level weather event like the ancient flood that reputedly resulted in the untimely
death of all the people in a certain region of this planet except a man named Noah, his wife, their
three sons, and their sons wives. See Genesis 6:5 to 8:22.
The gestation, etc. involuntary parts of human reproduction alluded to in Genesis 4:1 in regard
to the first-ever born young of humankind, . . . and later in Matthew 1:18 in regard to the
begetting-conceiving of Jesus (a reputed grand descendent of the Abraham family line through
the house [lineage] of King David).
Part II-The Awakening
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
( Robert Frost )
The Turning
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
54
____________
Date in Re: January 13-14, 1969

Place:
At home
Topic:
Me
y this date I had become just disgruntled enough with sexism,
racism, and other degrading illogical biases to be ready to openly

protest them. At least I was after the following associated things
as tipped the scales to move woebegone me to as stand up and
begin to take charge of my life:
1st
One of my three school-age children came home from

school with the word me scribbled on the topside of one Fig. 7. Copy of Late19thC.jpg. by
Grazhina, picasaweb.google.com.
hand.
2nd
I received an unsettling phone call from that childs home-room teacher a few hours later.
When I was attending public school in the small rural community of Mathews County, Virginia
(1938-1950), it had been my teachers who had motivated me to apply myself. Hence, I was
predisposed to expect like personal involvement from public school teachers in general. When this
1960's teacher called to say that she was giving up on how to motivate that child, I was both a
little miffed and baffled at which way to turn. But it was not of my disposition to accept that there
54
Eleanor Roosevelt , This Is My Story

are no solutions to be found. My feeble, but decisive, closing response to the frustrated teacher was:
There is an answer for every question55, and I guess Ill have to find it.
After the children were all in bed, I sat down at the kitchen table to have a private talk with my
oh so appealing husband. As it happened, the talk turned into what our sons and daughters would
probably call a fight. It is true that their father and I were not inclined toward fussing like some
couples habitually do. If my spouse and I had a difference of opinion, he would simply walk away
or ignore me. I would pout or pull the silent treatment for a while. Within a day or two, I would
initiate a peace move. No, it was not our regular practice to confront and debate our differences
of opinion. But things were different now . . . and becoming even more-so by the hour.
Between the time of espying the bothersome hand-inscribed me, the professional educators
phone call, and the last one of the four children was in bed for the night, I had decided to forego any
thought of returning to college. The combination of parenting duties and student tasks were, I
concluded, too much for me. The table conference had been called for the purpose of informing
my husband of my decision to not re-enroll at ODC for the 1968 - 1969 spring semester.
After pointing out some of my positive artistic skills compared to those of the traditional wife
and mother of our mutual acquaintance, I told him of my decision to not return to college.
Expecting a like pat on the back for easing the burden on him and the family budget, I was not
prepared for his negative I told you so kind of answer. Hurt and infuriated, I shouted back: I am
the Joneses! Of course, I did not literally mean what I saying. All I was trying to convey was that
I was an equally worthy adult human being. My reason for seeking a college degree had never been
for status purposes. I wanted to guide seventh grade students through the study of the natural world,
and a college degree is required for doing that in a public school.
From the look that came over my husbands face at my passionate retort, I would guess that he
also wished that he had worded his thoughts differently. He looked so crestfallen. Suddenly, I felt
alone. Maybe our love was not as I had presumed it to be. Quickly, I thought of a test. At first,
55
The first clause of the quoted sentence stands as uttered. Although not all answers are mortally knowable,
every question does have an answer. For instance, whereas we do not know that the primary creations were designed
and caused to come into existences by an Almighty or Infinitely Existing Creative M ental Power, and we do not know
that immortal life follows upon the death of our finite body(s), the answer to each question is either a Yes or a No.

my husband would shush my suggestion "to do an experiment. At my urging, however, he finally
agreed to participate:
We were to cease talking and silently select the most important word in the world. At my signal
(a nod of the head, I think it was) , we were to simultaneously utter our chosen word.
No sooner had the silence begun, I realized that my husband might not choose the word that I
was thinking of. What would I do if he did not pick love? How could life be worth living without
. . . !? As it turned out, we spoke in unison: Love , Love. I gasped a silent Whew!
We made up. Soon he was peacefully sleeping. Not me. I still had that pledge of the afternoon
to deal with. By now, it was after 2:00 a.m. of the night of January 13-14, 1969.
No, things were still not right. Love alone was not enough. What was I to do? If I coul d not
rely upon the educated experts for solutions, where was I to turn? The children had to have at
least a high school diploma. What self-supporting jobs could they get without one?
Reflecting upon (1) all that had happened during my year at ODC, (2) what had transpired
between my childs teacher and me, (3) the pledge I had made, and (4) my irrepressible desire for
more understanding of the natural world I am of and in, I began expressing my doubts and concerns
upward toward the presumed-to-exist Designer/ Maker of the human mind:
Are You sure, I silently queried, You know what's going on down here?
After noting how puzzling and unsettling certain atypical events I observed at ODC in early
September 1968 had been for me, I moved on to acknowledge that my sons and daughters
needed me at home, . . . and that I was ready to give up my pursuit of a college degree. But,
I explained, I cannot stop my love of learning. I have tried to push back the books, but I
cannot stop the desire. You, The Maker of me, can. Take away this desire; then I will settle
down, put on the apron, and do the domestic thing like I am supposed to. 56 [pause]
But what of woman; is she to be nothing __ever?
Goodnight.
Turning over upon my stomach, I soon fell asleep.

__________
56
The supposed to I was alluding to was the biblical authors idea in Genesiss 3:16 that subjugation and
meek servitude is the natural ordained position of a wife and a mother.
Epilogue
n this night in January 1969, I expected nothing. The prayerful think-out was but a last resort
action. I did not know what else to do. All I had left was hope. Not only had I lost faith in the
professionals whom I used to hang onto every word of, neither did I have any substantial faith or
confidence in myself.
But then, how could I? Never having
openly questioned or cross-examined what others had said about

the Creative Cause of the primary world, I really d i d n o t k n o w
what I actually believed or reasoned to be true about either our
Maker or the nature of the cosmic world. Whenever what was said
or written seemed contrary to the observable laws or patterns of
involuntary nature, I skipped over it. Metaphysical issues were in
the exclusive purview of ministers, college professors, physical
scientists, psychologists and/or like certified professionals__or so
Fig. 8. "Image-5.jpg"/ Hope" by George F.
Watts (at gutenberg.org gallery. Credit:
Mrs. Watts).
I had naively assumed.

Despite this presumption to unfitness and impropriety with
regard to philosophical pursuits, I seethed inside whenever I heard it said that The Creator of both
genders of us had as sentenced all of the female gender to a position of degrading servitude because
of an idolatrous act committed by a first generation woman:57
Unto the woman he [the Lord God (presence of the Almighty)] 58 said, I will greatly multiply thy
sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy
husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16), KJV.
gNo, the fore-quoted assertion is merely that of the person(s) who composed the narrative.
57
So mesmerized was I by the bible stories, I had not recognized the story about the idolatrous acts of a
prototype first generation couple( Adam & Eve) for what it is really is: an allegory (a figurative work).
58
No person has ever actually h e a r d e i t h e r T h e A l m i g h t y T h o u o r t h e d i v i n e p r e s e n c e / h o l y s p i r t

saying anything.

Although irritated by the biblically-fostered male gender bias, parental duty was the driving
force behind why I was praying for relief from the desire that was diverting my attention from my
parental tasks. Albeit reluctant to do so, I was resigned to settling for the mundane domestic role
that had been historically delegated for a wife and mother. It was not, however, the adage: a
womans place is in the home I was submitting to accept as a fair or valid one; it was my position
as a full-time parent that I had decided to reaffirm. Whereas the public school teacher could let
frustration drive her to quit trying to find a solution for that students educational needs, I could
not.
My responsibility was inalienable. Despite the contributing involuntary sex drives, my
children were begun because of the choices my husband and I made concerning sexual intimacy.
*
My present state of mind is markedly different from what it was on the night I did ultra-naively--but
with complete sincerity--pray to have my desire for learning taken away from me. At the time of
this first ever I-to-Thou prayerful address, no words of praise preceded my appeal for assistance and
fair treatment. As portrayed by the authors of (1st) Genesis to Chronicles and (2nd) Matthew to
Revelations, the Creative Cause of the primary world is even more unjust than the worst of us.
Submission to the Creative Power envisioned to have originated our species is not the same thing
as revering this presumed Infinite Source of mortal life. In truth, how can anyone honestly feel
respect for a Creative Power that would be so unimaginably unfair as to:
1. Favor one gender of us Created human beings over the other gender of us, . . . and favor or
assist one of the Created races or ethic groups of us over all the others;
2. Exterminate an entire community of men, women, and young children while forewarning Noah
( a paternal ancestor of Abraham) in advance of a pending catastrophic or doomsday degree
deluge/flooding;
3. Take land inhabited by certain of the other descendants of the first generation of our species and
grant them over to Abraham and/or his posterity;
4. Or stoop so low as to force-breed Mary, the espoused bride of Joseph (a descendant of Abraham
through the house of David), to involuntarily conceive a child 59 ?
59
W e human being as not as animals. Force-breeding of a woman would be equivalent to Supernal rape.

The incidents alluded to on the previous page are but some of the unkind to heinous crimes
against humanity that have been accredited to the unknown Almighty Creator by the authors of the
King James60 and other translators of the historical Jewish and Christian biblical writings. 61
For a Fact: we have two markedly different sources of information about ourselves and the
other natural world parts and/or functions:
gThe actual natural world.62

gThe oral and written commentaries or reports, sculptures, dances, photographs, etc.
illustrative messages about the natural world components and events or conditions that
have been created and presented by certain of us mortal mental powers.
Inasmuch as we living things of creative human being kind are the only species on earth to
continuously be subjected to thoughts or inclinations of two opposing qualities: good or fair kind and
the adverse bad or unfair kind, only the conscious voluntary minds I part of our conjoined bodymind selves is capable of making imperfect choices (e.g. drawing false conclusions or giving false
testimony, etc. errors or wrongdoings).
Keep in mind that all emotions or feelings, dreams, hallucinations, visions, etc. automatic or
spontaneous thoughts are involuntary events. We conscious level I-selves observe, reason about
and/or make certain decisions or choices about what we consciously experience of involuntary nature
kind.
I desire justice or fairness toward all. Yet, at the time I made this prayer, I was judging the
envisioned Almighty Thou on the say-so of the authors of the King James Bible. This was unfair
of me. Actually, it was worse than unfair; it was idolatrous. Neither any human being nor any
60
At this time in my life, the only bible I had ever seen or heard recited from had been a standard King
James authorized translation of (1) the Jewish biblical testaments and (2nd) the Christian biblical testaments.
61
62
and--as I was to later discover--by the authors of the Hebrew Scriptures and Greek Scriptures as well.
By natural world I mean both (1 ) primary natural things: E.g. the sun, stars and other distant celestial parts
of the primary cosmic world, the planet earth, et cetera, and (2) sub-primary natural things, e.g., procreated human
beings, hybrid plants, cross-bred animals, etc. other living things which have been caused by involuntary nature &
human volition combined.

human beings speech or writing is representative of the will or character of the u n k n o w n
Creative Cause of our species.
When I turned toward the Almighty/Absolute Creative Mental Power on this night back in 1969
and asked, Are you sure you know whats going on down here?, I was not imagining a
compassionate Source Cause. All I was assuming was the existence of an Absolute Mental Power,
and hoping that somehow this presumed Creative Cause of our species was not as unfair or cruel as
the biblical writers had portrayed Same to be. As previously stated, all I had left was hope. Hope
is neither blind faith nor specific expectation. Hope is simply hope, never-ending hoping or longing
for . . .
*
Before moving on to the entry for midmorning of January 14, 1969, I would also like to
comment in more detail concerning my presumption that the Designer-Originator of the human
mind could make changes to my mind. On the night I asked the question, I was only allowing for
what the Maker of the human mind could do. Would do is of course a different question. Does the
Almighty Thou ever directly intervene to alter the established involuntary laws or patterns of nature?
Without reservation, my present conclusion is an emphatic No.
But prior to reaching this conviction, an acquaintance of mine had cited the theory that in the
case of Jesus, the seemingly constant laws of nature governing reproduction of human being kind
were as voided. For weeks, that speculation challenged my faith in the fairness of our Creator.
Believing as I truly do that the primary world (and thus, also the founding generation of our species)
was originated by an Almighty Infinite or Absolute ( Unlimited) Creative Power, I could not argue
that such a deed could not be done. Troubled, I turned to do what I have been doing since this night
in mid-January 1969, I prayed it out to the envisioned Almighty Thou.
A close paraphrasing of that silently submitted meditative prayer63 follows on the next page:
63
W hether silently praying or writing, I think-out each word as I go along. The only difference in my
spoken speech and prayed or written speech is the addition of physical mouthed utterances (sound vibrations).

Almighty Thou:
My present philosophical views differ considerably from those I held the first time I addressed
You after this direct manner back in 1969. For instance, I no longer assume--as I was partly
assuming on that night--that You might somehow grant my request to take away my involuntary
desire for learning about the nature of the cosmic world. And why not? Do I not think You are
all-powerful? No, that is not the reason. I still believe You are All-powerful, . . . are the Absolute,
even The Limit Creative Mental Power, . . . that there is none beyond You. No, it is not the degree
of Your Power I question or wonder about. What I question is what I questioned that night in
January 1969__Your use of that Power.
In both the Jewish Biblical Hebrew Scriptures and the Christian Biblical Greek Scriptures, You
are portrayed as favoring the male human being in general and a man named Abram/Abraham and
certain others of his lineage in particular. And it is perplexing or puzzling, I suppose, that only a
few people have been recounted of as having undergone an in-depth interaction with the divine
presence/ vuvh, source of conscience within the human mind. A hasty conclusion might be
that such a person was favored or directly selected by You. However, this is not a hypothesis
which I find credible. Why not?
First of all, such overt partiality would cause hurt feelings and conflict between (1) the two
genders of us and (2) all four basic racial varieties of us. Putting either an individual or a group of
us mortals in such a compromising position would not be to Your advantage. I mean__ who could
truly respect You under such unfair conditions? And our genuine respect is the one thing even
You cannot obtain from us by merely willing it to be so. I know that I respect what I respect. What
I do not feel respect for, I do not feel respect for. It is that simple. Genuine respect has to be
merited, earned. For instance, albeit the love I feel for my two sons and two daughters is
unconditional, I do not always respect their choices or behavior any more than they always support
or respect mine.
No, I do not believe that You ever have directly intervened in human affairs. Such an act would
lead to confusion and lack of faith in Your preestablished processes, forces, or other laws for
mental as well as physical involuntary nature. Selective intervention would invalidate or transgress
the silent but seemingly holy emissions from the spiritual presence/conscience/ vuvh within the
subconscious or involuntary part of the psyche64 of us finitely-embodied human creative beings.
Albeit You have the power to disrupt the natural laws which You established in the beginning for
governing involuntary physical nature and involuntary mental nature does not mean that You have
ever done so. Neither is there any evidence in involuntary nature in support of such a
conclusion. For these reasons, . . . and more, I do not believe You have ever interfered with
Your preestablished laws of nature.
Let me also state that I owe You an apology. It was idolatrous of me to take another
mere mortals word for what You are like. But on that night in January 1969 when I prayed
to You for the first time, I was not aware of the mesmerizing effects of the biblical authors
64
I.e., the totality of mental components of us human creative beings, including both (a) the conscious
voluntary part and (b) the subconscious involuntary part.

stories upon my minds I. Now that I am, it is my hope that I can help others to break free
of the as psychological cataracts that might be obscuring their mental I-sight concerning
various biblical authors fictionalized literary portraitsof You.
Do I respect You? Never having met You, I can neither respect nor not respect You. But I do
affirm my appreciation for having been endowed with free will power, common sense with which
to reason about things after a logical manner, and a seemingly incorruptible or holy (divine)
supportive presence to motivate me to try to make good choices, . . . and also for the privilege of
absolutely unlimited private prayer time.
The challenge is hard, very hard. There is still a lot I cannot fathom the necessity or grand
purpose of. Like why have volcanic eruptions, tornadoes, earthquakes, typhoons, etc. generally
destructive storms or upheavals? What good purpose do they serve?
But the joy of discovery is wonderful. That part is truly wonderful. And as usual, praying out
my doubts or concerns to You has helped me recognize things I had not recognized before.
Thanks, and bye for now.
As stated in the Introduction section of this writing, I believe that it is the divine presence / vuvh
(source of conscience) within the involuntary subconscious part of our mental selves/psyches that
automatically receives and reacts to our prayerful submissions.
I pray a lot because I continue to find it to be a beneficial activity. Meditating involves flipflopping between (a) deliberately composed phrases or sentences and (b) pausing to let whatever
comes before ones minds I to flow forth. But in all instances, I have found that in order to benefit
from a praying exercise I must be explicitly honest about what concerns me. Both dreams and
visions would indicate we voluntary or conscious level I(s) cannot hide our real feelings or opinions
from the continually-monitoring subconscious part of our mental system. And considering what
began to happen to me within about eight hours after I submitted my first ever I-to-Thou directed
prayer during this night in January 1969, it would also appear that vuvh /the divine presence part
within does automatically keeps track of the immediate state-of-mind of the controlling conscious
level voluntary minds I self part of each of us.
That said, I shall move on to the next entry.
From Fear to Faith

______________
Date in Re: January 14, 1969

Site:
Family residence
Event:
An ultimate experience
y husband was at work. The older children were at school: two
in high school, one in elementary school. Our youngest child, a fiveyear-old daughter, was playing in the living room. I 65 was seated at the
northwest end of the kitchen table66 examining an essay I had begun a
day or two before on the meaning of Truth.
"What is truth? I had posed, nothing more than a word to swear
by? 67 Pondering what to say next, my concentration was suddenly
Fig. 9. Image adapted from a small

Rembrandt drawing.
interrupted by . . .
My reason for adding the i is to point to where we thinking beings are within our finite bodies of either
male-gendered or female-gendered Human Being kind. I chose the lower case i because it shows up better in this
sketch than the upper case I does. Please keep in mind that whereas we do not have total recall of each instance,
everything each of us hears, sees, smells, touches, tastes, or is touched by is perceived of by we invisible inner voluntary
conscious level I selves.
65
66
See a floor plan (#011469) in The Appendix to get idea of where I was during each vision event.
67
E.g., Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you . . . ?

an overwhelming and unprecedented pulsating sort of feeling, along with a terrible headache. There
was a steady intense pressure. My body felt more pressed or weighted upon the chair. It is as if,
I thought to myself, the gravity had doubled. 68
Wonder arose. Remembrance of the biblical story about Moses spiritual revelation
experience flashed before me. Could it be . . . ? But that's impossible! It cannot be. Yet,
suppose it is? What will people say? What do I have to lose? Nothing, I decided, and
proceeded to submit to the then unidentified cause of the never-before-experienced set of
physiological conditions.
Extremely frightened as well as a bit self-conscious, I contemplated: "But how? What can I
do to help myself? Aye, the typewriter. Fighting the urge to hide, while at the same time struggling
to relax and cease deliberated thinking, I placed my fingers onto the home-keys of the old manual
Underwood typewriter, took a deep breath, and with a quickly gasped silent OK, submitted to
the yet undetermined cause of the so-compelling sensations. [With the first thought of the
typewriter, I had also decided to try to document everything that occurred as it occurred.]69
Never had I typed so fast in my life. It seemed like ten to fifteen
minutes worth, but I would estimate the actual typing time was
much, much less. As suddenly as it had begun, the pressure
sensation lifted and my hands flew up.
At first, my physical vision was slightly blurred. A warm,
moist mist swirled around about my head, shoulders, and face. Cool
drops of fluid slowly rolled down my flushed cheeks, especially on
the left side of my face. They felt so pleasantly cool, and not as
tears. I was not crying inside.
As my eyes cleared, I glanced at the top of the page sticking up
in the typewriter and saw what I had typed as the involuntary
sensory impressions, spontaneous thoughts, and my own chosen
voluntary responses were occurring. The first line was as follows:
Fig. 10. Adapted from 1968 I.D.

photo of me. The Lens flare marks
the area where I experienced the
presence vision. The blurring
represents the swirling mist.
Oh my God70 , You are real; You really are!

68
The earths gravity does not change; however, emotional changes can produce associated physical
changes. For a common example, the mere sight of a corpse will cause some people to go limp and faint.
69
70
And I did. However, most were too messy to keep. In the main, I am doing this rewrite from memory.
g The word God was a m is-m atch of word with reality. All I experienced was a very, very brief
sensory vision of an invisible presence hovering slightly above the uppermost right-hand corner of my forehead. It
had become evident immediately following my consensual OK. See the Epilogue portion of this entry for additional
commentary on the visions I experienced between this date and July 14, 1970.
....
"Seek the truth and it shall set you free." 71 came to mind. Instantaneously, I semi-jokingly
retorted: Boy,72 you surely didn't know what you were saying, or you never would have said it.
....
As the ellipsis would indicate, more was written than I have mentioned. Some vague
remembrances about my paternal grandfather came to mind during this typing period, but I did not
pause to try to draw up the details. Later in this day, however, there was the clear recollection of
something Grandpa Dick told me sometime before I entered first grade. The reason I know it was
prior to September 1938 is because I got into a fight over the saying on my first day of public school.73
The statement was:
There is a heaven on earth; and if you are a good girl, some day you will find it.
On this day in 1969, I did not immediately comprehend what the word heaven represented in
the context of my illiterate grandfathers verse. For one thing, I did not think of myself as a
righteous or especially good person. You have only to reread my prayer in the preceding entry to
know that my posture was not of the more traditional humble or pious sort. However, I was honest
about what concerned me and what I was prepared to conform to--if I could only be rid of the desire
to learn more about the natural world I am of.
Despite my naivety concerning the word of teachers, preachers, etc. professionals, it had
always been my general inclination to be turned off by superstitious notions.
Hence, I was
especially cautious on this day when it came to drawing any hasty conclusions or speculations about
71
Upon checking, I find that the actual wording is: And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you
free.(John 8:32). See the Epilogue for further commentary about this biblical portion.
72
Another mismatch of word-to-reality. Boy points to an under adult age male child. Even in the envisioning
pose, I should have used either Man, Mister, or Sir. when addressing an adult male human being.
73
An account of that happening may be found on page 286 in Part III - Related Childhood Events under the
title, From Innocence to Awareness.

what contributing influence Grandpa Dick may have had upon my eventually resorting to pray74 after
the same candid I-to-You manner I had chanced to observe him doing when I was a mere toddler of
approximately eighteen months of age.
Another spontaneous idea that came to mind with first thoughts of Grandpa Dick was:
a garden with four gates"
In this case, I thought of Grandma Annie's picket-fenced flower garden in which she would not
let us grandchildren play. Yet, it was my hunch that this expression was probably representative of
something other than my paternal grandmothers small fenced-in garden. For one thing, her garden
did not have four gates.75
After a quick scan of what I had typed, I turned aside from it. The collateral implications were
far too heavy for me to handle at the time. In fact, it would be almost thirty years before I would
be able to confront and accept this awesome experience for what it was.
Great joy and lightness flowed over me. Being__that is what stood out! Near instantly, I
recognized that we the people are the most important things on this planet. Simply to be a human
being is like "the pot of gold at the rainbow's end."
Or as Max Lucado put it:
You are valuable just because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you
have done, but simply because you are.
gAnd what each of us is, is a creative being; thats The What we are, and why we are special!
And on this day in January 1969, the following recognitions flowed forth within my mind like
74
See the entry for Early 1934 on page 298: From Offense to Forgiveness in Part III - Related Childhood
Events for a recount of that event.
75
Later on in the series there was a vision which was clearly representative of fourfoldness.

a stream of clarifying waters:
Our individual intrinsic worth is not because of our respective gender, race, ancestral lineage, or
nation of birth. Neither gender is superior to nor more significant than the other gender. What a
vain, egotistical notion! How could such an idea have gotten going in the first place? There are
two genders of us and four basic racial varieties because that is how the Creative Cause of our
species chose it to be. I mean__how else could our species continue beyond generation one?
Nor is our absolute value because of our particular I.Q., education, or general physical health.
The crippled or otherwise disabled person is no less important than the most physically and mentally
fit among us.
Neither is our respective social status nor occupation a measure of our absolute value. Nor does
advanced-in-years add to or detracts from a persons innate or absolute worth. We are all special
because we are creative powers!
Whereas both our creative mental powers and our duration of existence on earth are of limited
or finite life kind, we are nonetheless free and independent creative intelligences. And although
our chosen behavior is the controlling agent behind the quality of cultural society we mortals have
on earth, our natural absolute value is not of our choosing. Whatever the natural worth of the
species we are of--that is the innate absolute worth of each male and female human being to ever
come into existence on earth.
Oh, how my soul surged at the realization that as an adult, I was free, truly free to make my own
decisions about what I ought and ought not do! Although indebted to many people, I was
subordinate to none. Whereas cooperation is essential to the development of a decent and productive
society, no man or woman is innately obliged to submit to the will or desires of another human
being. For instance, my husband is not my ruler, nor I his. In all ways, our relationship is one of
mutual interdependence.
I also immediately recognized that neither any past nor present generation man or woman is due
reverence or the classification: holy. ( i.e., spiritually perfect or pure; untainted by evil or sin;
sinless.).76 It is equally clear to me that no persons oral, written, or other communicative message
is holy. The only thing on earth to possibly fit the criteria of holyis the voiceless spiritual
presence/ vuvh (source or light of conscience) within every one of us.
76
Definition is from Websters New World College Dictionary, 3 rd ed. (New York: Macmillan General
Reference, A Simon & Schuster Macmillan Company, 1988). W NW CD
As I sat there aglow with this new

degree of awareness of myself, my
surroundings, and natural freedom, my
eyes shifted toward the wallpapered
border of grapes and vines designI upon
the soffiting above the cabinets on the
west and north walls of the kitchen.
Espying the grapes, I immediately
recalled
the
table
model
of
Jerusalem70CE which I had directed a

group of fifth and sixth grade religious
school students in the construction of
Fig. 11. All included photos of the Jerusalem model are the courtesy of
Eric O. Anderson. The image of a students soldering iron-burned etched
wood plaque in front was added by me with photo-editing software.
during the school term 1965-66.

Surprisingly, it was not all the newspaper coverage II and like accolades the project received that
was focal in my mind. Nor was it the
miniature model temple building with
the tiny grapes motif 77 adorning its
facade that stood out. Instead, it was
Fig. 11.1. Facade of temple made by a student.
the quiet young girl who had worked

so hard on doing that intricate
ornamentation to given specifications. At the time, she had not stood out as a highly gifted artist.
Nor was she likely to have been voted most popular student in the class. Yet, on this morning she
was the featured young person; rather, her attitude and work ethics were. And it is true that
regardless of what our natural high aptitudes might be, it is what each of us decides to do with them
that is of measurable count.
Innate high talent or a gift for only represents potential ability.
Involuntary nature does not command, call, or otherwise literally tell us what do with our natural
talents; the feeling of ought to is only as a suggestion.
77
made of mustard seed, fine cord, florist tape, and painted gold color with gold gilt.

The Jerusalem model project was also significant with regard to the spiritually-associated
ideological changes that had begun to occur within me between the autumn of 1965 and this January
day in early winter 1969:
In order to reproduce a model of the city, it was necessary to gather information on the geology, the
foodstuff, the people and their clothing, the architecture of the buildings, etc. varied cultural data. And
as one of the interviewing reporters quoted me to have said, The research Ive done taught me!
One of the new (to me) reference sources I used was the writings of the historian Flavius Josephus.
His description of the everyday life situation in Jerusalem during the Roman military takeover put a
different slant on the isolated crucifixion scene portrayed in the Christian testament writings or art
works. According to Josephus, death by crucifixion was of common daily occurrence. The triad
execution of Jesus and two other men at Golgotha (John: 16-21) was but three of many such executions
carried out by the Roman administration in Jerusalem during the first century of the common era.
The somewhat detailed research I did on this ancient city made it lose much of its mystique.
Picturing everyday life in Jerusalem70CE was different now from what it had been with only the
metaphorical writings of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, etc. Christian authors to show it to me.
Yet, it was not until the co-teacher, the students, and I were assembling the model item by item on
that Saturday in September 1966 that I began to perceive Jesus as he was. This son of Mary could easily
be envisioned as having walked about in the market street or upon the temple mount, but not any
mythically conjured demi-deity (e.g., son of God [the unknown Absolute
or Infinite Creative Mental Power]). I did not, however, pause to reason
about the statements of the Christian biblical authors concerning the
begetting-conceiving of Jesus. This immediate flash of insight about the
necessary common human nature of the man called the Christ, Messiah [
derived from jhan (ma-shei-ach/ anointed one] was too stark for me to
dwell upon at the time.
The miniature model of the Jewish temple menorah (candelabra)
pictured at right was made by me. [A small piece has since chipped off one
Fig. 12. Photo by me.
of the model branches.]
This serious but pleasant recollection of the Jerusalem model project was followed by thoughts
of The Grapes of Wrath, a 1939 novel by John Steinbeck about the gloomy conditions prevalent
during the 1930s. That book had made me feel a bit uncomfortable when reading it. Perhaps it was
because the story closely paralleled some of my own depression era childhood experiences or

conditions that I did not want to think about. As it happened, other memories rushed in to push
thoughts of depression era times behind.
Specifically, there was the spontaneous remembrance of hymn-singing about "golden stairways.
I especially recalled the refrain: When they ring the golden bells for you and me. With what
gusto Ms. Mary (my foster mother) used to sing that old song. III.
Next a series of four pictorial scenes [visions] of differing themes appeared before my inner
viewing minds I. All were in color.[The images to follow are only general representations]:
1st A small group of people (3 to 5) clapping their hands while bending over the right side of the
back of a slightly angled sofa upon which was partly seated a deceased elderly friend of mine named
Helen (with her familiar green hair band intact). I say "partly seated" because there was more of
her buttocks tilted in the air along with her kicking-up-heels than there was on the couch. She, like
the persons lounging over the back right corner of the sofa, was also clapping as if delighted at the
turn of events.
2nd A row of Can-Can dancers in vintage
costumes doing typical leg-kicking can-can
dances. Spontaneous thoughts of The
beat, The beat . . . Repeat, Repeat . . . new
generation . . . and "Basin Street, my kind
of town, also flashed in mind.
3rd The fictional sleuth Sherlock Holmes78
Fig. 13.1. From a photo of

a statue of Sherlock
Holmes in London. Photo
is courtesy of Gary Davis.
78
in his two-way hat as you might see in one of

the movie versions of a Holmes mystery. He
was dressed in a checkered suit. Even his
trademark pipe was, I think, included.
London Square came to mind.
This scene barely faded before there
appeared . . .
Fig. 13. Image courtesy of
www.boomtowngartergirls.com.
Character created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930). For more about Holmes, see Endnote IV.

4th Male villain character with a black cape swept across
one corner of his head.
Sometime after my blurred eyesight had cleared up, and
Fig.13.2. Villain character adapted from a

cover image on a Holmes nemesis DVD.
before the pictorial visions began, I had brought my five-year-old daughter into the kitchen.
Overflowing with love, I had snuggled the young child in my lap close to me. During the Can-Can
dance vision scene, I began bouncing her upon my knees to a jazzy two-beat rhythm while singing
aloud an oldie from my early childhood years: "Mama's little baby loves shortening bread. Put on
the skillet, put on the lid, Mama's gonna bake a little shortening bread." Sometime after the kneebouncing and shortening bread song, my daughter took off to resume her play in the living room.
I think it was when I stopped singing. In any case, it was before the fourth scenic vision.
At the sight of the black-robed villain figure, my joyous feeling dropped like the mercury on a
thermometer when stuck in ice water. I actually felt a little chilly, eerie chilly and somewhat
isolated. Getting up from the chair, I proceeded through the dining-room area and on into the living
room where my daughter was playing.
*
Upon stepping down into the 7-inch sunken (step-down) living room, I was like stopped in my
tracks by the sight of the sun's rays pouring in through the large picture window. How remarkably
brilliant they were! It was as if I had never fully seen the sunshine before! Indeed, the mere sighting
or espying is different from consciously grasping the wholeness of the thing observed. Although I
had read about light passing through glass, I had not fully grasped the fact. The following quotation
from T. S. Eliots creative work: Four Quartets: Little Gidding (1943) aptly fits my changed
awareness level:
We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to
arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

In truth, it was as if I were perceiving the visible natural world as it plainly is--or independent
of the biblical authors and science authors descriptions of it--for the first time. Yet, in these first
moments of the as awakening, my reactions also included the discordant wonder if the biblically
associated end of the world had come, . . . and it was now the heaven on earth79 Grandpa Dick had
alluded to some time during my preschool years.
How can I explain the change in my consciousness or awareness level? It is somewhat like the
difference between when you first awaken after surgery compared to how it is when the anesthetic
has completely worn off. Upon regaining first consciousness, you experience yourself as awake.
But once the anesthetic is completely out of your system, you recognize that you were not actually
fully awake the first time you awakened.
Or to put it still another way, my present situation is also much like that of the fictional example
cited by Arthur C. Clarke in the opening paragraph of his science article:80
In his famous short story, The Country of the Blind, H. G. Wells described a community of men
[people] who had lost their sight but who had adapted so well to their affliction that after a few
generations they did not know what they were missing . . . And though they could feel the suns rays
upon their skin, its warmth meant no more to them than the heat of a nearby fire. Mentally, they
lived in a tiny, closed world. The vastness of space was utterly beyond their conception.
Until recently, astronomers were not unlike the people in the taleblind men [people] who did not
know they were blind. Now, with startling suddenness, their eyes [minds I(s)] have been opened
to a strange new universe [cosmic world system]. As might be expected, they cannot yet fully
understand the wonders that are revealed . . .
The situation depicted in the previous excerpt is not far from what my before and after state of
mind was/is like, especially concerning natural events. Prior to this transcendent level happening,
I had been as a person with conceptual cataracts when it came to (a) the Source of the primary
cosmic world, and (b) the apparent cause of both physical and mental i n v o l u n t a r y natural
events.
79
But again, I put aside Grandpa Dicks inspirational expression about heaven on earth lest I be guilty of
reading meanings into events or statements which are not clearly evident. In time, I did come to recognize that what
Grandpa Dick was alluding to via the word heaven was necessarily a certain state-of-mind.
80
Arthur C. Clarke, Tuning In The Universe, In Science Year: The World Book Science Annual ( Field
Enterprises Educational Corporation, 1966). 61. W BSA66

Another example which may have some literal relevancy is the following from the simile of the
cave that opens chapter seven of Platos dialogue The Republic:
Socrates - Glaucon
. . . And now look again, and see what will naturally follow if the prisoners are released and
disabused of their error. At first, when any of them is liberated and compelled suddenly to stand
up and turn his 81 neck round and walk and look towards the light, he will suffer sharp pains;
the glare will distress him, and he will be unable to see the realities of which in his former state he
had seen the shadows; and then conceive some one saying to him, that what he saw before was an
illusion, but that now, when he is approaching nearer to being and his eye is turned towards more
real existence, he has a clearer [minds I] vision.82
However, the biblical and other recounts of spiritual level and other involuntary natural events
I had acquired between 1932 and this date in 1969 were not automatically cleared. Each one had
to be confronted and logically evaluated. But on this morning I was not doing any extensive
investigative thinking. The change in my awareness level was too fresh-- and too unfamiliar--and
too astonishing. Wonderful things can be traumatic, too.
As noted, the sight of the villain vision had put a damper on my initial great joy or emotional
ecstasy. Without thinking about e x a c t l y w h y some people choose to become preachers or other
religious leaders, I decided to telephone a neighborhood pastor with whom I was acquainted and
ask him to come to the house. Surely, I surmised, a member of the clergy would be familiar with
spiritual happenings, and thus be able to help me figure out mine.83
The pastor soon arrived at the door. Upon entering the living room, he sat down in the large
upholstered chair between the front door and the picture window. Before the man had barely
finished seating himself, I blurted out: "I think I have had an ultimate experience." And without
pausing, I continued with: "You mean__this is all there is to it; we get to stay here after all!?
81
This quote needs to be read as him or her, he or she, et cetera; for this change of mind-set can happen
to female human beings as well as to male human beings.
82
Library of the Future: The Complete Text of over 5000 Historical, Classical & Cultural Titles,
CD-ROM (Lancaster, PA: W orld Library, 1990-1996). LOF
83
Although I had (around age 15) consented to become a member of the protestant Christian church, it was
not because I had undergone a transcendent spiritual experience. See A Conversion on page 310 in Part III -Related
Childhood Events for details about that teenage choice.

What must that dear man have thought? Whatever his actual thoughts may have been, he looked
directly at me and said: There are different degrees of reality.84 Soon after, and with a slightly
boggle-eyed expression upon his face, he departed.
*
THE STARK TRUTH OF THE SITUATION BEGAN TO SWEEP OVER ME. I was alone. What had happened
to me was not a collective awakening. The man who had just left the house could not relate to what
I was talking about. He did not say that, but his remark about differing degrees of reality
combined with the expression that flash-appeared upon his face indicated as much.
That is also when I first began to think about what would have to be true in order for the oftoverheard: I was called (chosen) to preachto be literally true. Upon doing so, I burst into silent
laughter. I mean__ if such a thing actually happened, the person to whom it happened would have
a heck-of-a-lot more to say than I was called to preach.
This recognition was followed by the realization that neither was the oft-uttered my conscience
tells me a literally truthful statement.
While I was neither physiologically nor psychologically able to do any extensive critical analysis
at the time, it was on this day that I first began to question and try to prove to myself the necessary
or apparent meaning of the w o r d s that biblical authors, scientists, and others have used when
referring to natural phenomena. It is especially important to test those words which, like devil /
satan, angel, messiah, holy, conscience, God, have been used to represent an invisible or some other
abstract type of thing or event.
Thus ended the most extraordinary day of my life. The only day I can think of that might top it
would be my last day.
__________
84
I did not immediately recognize that reality was a synonym for what I was thinking of as awareness.
Epilogue
ow do we measure a day? I think of a solar day as the time from dawn to dawn. Thus, my
entry for the bedtime prayer was dated January 13, 1969. By twenty-four hour clock time, the prayer
and the possibly directly-associated consequence occurred during the same day: January 14, 1969.
While I do not understand the physiology I behind the unprecedented (for me) intense physical
sensations and emotional feeling that began to occur within about eight hours after I submitted my
first I-to-Thou prayer, the situation required an immediate decision from me. Theres no doubt about
that.
I chose to submit. Once that was done, there was no turning back. You can cancel a
conversion to one of the human-established world religions, but the effects of the kind of spiritual
event I underwent on this morning are irreversible.
Whatever the natural involuntary stimulus might be, no human being is literally called (chosen)
to be an advocate of the Almighty Thou. Such advocacy is always of individual human choice. I
could have turned aside from the awesome set of conditions I began experiencing on this morning,
not submitted my free will power.
And although I was not remembering the I-to-Thou prayer at
the time the extraordinary physiological conditions began to occur on this morning, it is a fact that
I had prayed for relief__even for a reason to believe or have faith in goodness.
I could have chosen to keep this wondrous experience to myself. In fact, it was not until
the fall of 1996 that I at last mustered the courage to provide my immediate family and a few other
close acquaintances with a face-to-face oral synopsis of the extraordinary happening.85
It is not fair to the unknown Creative Cause of our species to say: The Almighty said unto me
. . . . It is equally unjust to say: The devil made me do it; for the Designer of the human psyche
is necessarily the Supernal Power responsible for our constantly experiencing inclinations/
temptations of b o t h the good and the adverse (not-good) kind.86
85
Neither, I would note, could there be any written record of the transcendent level mental phenomena
Moses is recounted of as having undergone had he not decided to recount of it to at least one of his contemporaries.
86
See And Then Perhaps to Wisdom [Understanding] on page 109 for how I came to this conclusion.

Was my prayer answered?
Not literally. However, my passion for learning about the natural world is quite different now
from what it was at the moment I prayed to have my desire for learning removed. I no longer
experience a great need to know. Neither do I attend a Sunday morning Hebrew language class on
a regular basis and Friday evening Sabbath services occasionally because I am seeking understanding
about the Almighty Thou. In that regard, my spiritual hunger is satisfied, my great doubt abated.
My participation in the Sunday morning Adult Hebrew study program is because the Reform Jewish
congregation of which I am now a confirmed member does not squelch or discourage critical
evaluation of The Torah and other biblical writings.
No longer mesmerized or as spellbound by the biblical writers narrations, I am able to review the
Scriptures after a critical manner. Some of the ideas are good. Unfortunately, some of them are
horrendous. But do not be afraid. The biblical authors fictionalized portrayal of
Almighty Creative Power and/or
vuvh
ohvukt
/The
/the divine presence as guilty of male partiality, ethnic
partiality, selective genocide, selective infanticide, the equivalent to Supernal rape, and other unfair
to incredibly evil deeds against humanity is based on personal conjecture rather than any concrete
involuntary natural evidence.
When I turned and prayed upward toward the envisioned Maker of the human mind on the eve
of January 14, 1969, I was only asking for help with my doubts about the goodness of this Absolute
Power and my distracting desire for scientific knowledge about the cosmic world. The spiritual
happening that followed did not give me instant understanding. What it did was allow me to
recognize my commonness with all others of human being kind, . . . and that neither any past nor
present generation man or woman can be as a stand-in or substitute for either (1) the Almighty
Creative Power or (2) the divine presence within the mind/psyche of each of us. I continue to find
that candid or explicitly honest think-outs upward toward the envisioned Creative Cause of the
primary world always produce helpful consequences. But I should also mention that when I pray,
it is only for the courage and wisdom to meet my daily challenges after a fair or appropriate manner.

I neither seek, expect, nor want direct divine intervention in my favor or that of any other human
being. Such partiality would be an absolute injustice!
It was, however, years before I gave any thought to what effect the prayer I submitted on the
night of January 14, 1969, may have had upon what happened to me about eight hours later.
What was the source cause of the extraordinary events I experienced on this morning?
In order for a supplication to be answered, it must first be received. As set forth in my
affirmation statement in Part I - The Introduction, I do not believe the Almighty Thou ever literally
answers prayers, or in any other way directly interferes with the nature of either (a) our mental
selves or (b) the other parts of the natural cosmic world. Rather, it is my conclusion that all of our
prayers or meditations are automatically intercepted and automatically processed by the seemingly
holy spiritual presence/conscience/ vuvh within our subconscious /involuntary mental selves
And as noted in the explanatory footnote within the main context of this entry, my initial response
of Oh, my God was a learned force-of-habit kind of response. The a c t u a l object of my address
was a briefly evident sensory vision of a hovered presence; there was no pictorial form or sound of
any kind.
At first, I did not associate what I was perceiving to the familiar word conscience. Nor was
there any clear reason to do so, for the word conscience is not literally descriptive of the sensory
presence I witnessed on this morning.
While sensory vibes giving evidence of the nearby spiritual presence are different from the
physical vibes given off by the living body of a nearby human being, there is some general similarity
between the two.
For instance, there is what happened to me one day in 1951:
I was walking along one of the main downtown streets of Norfolk, Virginia, when I suddenly
sensed someone stealthily approaching me from the rear. Stiffening, I readied myself for defense.
I had not seen the person. Neither had I heard steps, yet I had sensed the presence of someone
moving up beside me.

That someone proved to be my father-in-law,
Anthony Hudgins. He worked on a passenger boat
operated by the Pennsylvania Railroad. The boat
had tied up at its pier on Boush Street, and Pop

Tony (as I called him) had walked over to Granby
Street. Espying me walking along the street, he had
thought to surprise me. As it happened, he nearly
got his head bashed with my purse. In fact, he had
to stop my swing to avoid the hit.
Fig. 14. Image about Anthony in a newspaper article.
While reflecting upon the question of an inner

divine presence, I suddenly recognized that I had actually sensed this involuntary attending spiritual
presence before. For a recount of that event, see The Divine Presence, Source of Conscience? on
page 295 in Part III - Related Childhood Events.
As for why my prayer for relief resulted in such extraordinary consequences, I defer to the
analogy offered by my (now grown up) daughter Anne:
When the conditions are right for rain, it rains.
And the conditions?

I was experiencing irreconcilable doubt about the truthfulness of teachers, etc. professional
dispensers of knowledge. Hence, I was far more vulnerable than usual toward f e e l i n g t h e
n e e d to seek help from the Almighty.
It is also true that during the previous two years, I had become extremely interested in the natural
physics of the whole cosmos. And after completing a course in general Chemistry at ODC in the
spring of 1968, I was fortified with the understanding that all things in the known cosmic world are
composed of certain arrangements of one or more of the natural atomic elements. Combining this
information with the insight derived from all the research and applied work I had done on the
Jerusalem 70CE model between September 1965 and September 1966 about the nature of the man
called Christ (Xriso/$), I had begun thinking about the natural world in a more scientific or

realistic way than I had previously been in the habit of doing. I had also become impressed with the
value of logical thinking for dealing with emotion-driven notions. The character Mr. Spock in
the Star Trek TV series had triggered that interest.
But the main force behind my readiness is that by midnight of January 13, 1969, I no longer
had human idols blocking the way between me and the idea of the envisioned Creative Cause of the
primary natural world, . . . and hence, Maker-Designer of the human mind/psyche.
The Visions?
I believe that as with dreams and hallucinations, visions are arranged and projected 87 by the
involuntary subconscious part of our mental self/psyche. All of these kinds of revealing scenes are
real formations. It is just that they originate from within the mental self, and are therefore only
detectable by the minds I of the person in whose mind they are occurring. When an alcoholic, for
example, is going through the withdrawal or detox period, he or she may mentally see bugs
crawling on a wall where no bugs really are. Thats a fact, but it is also true that the hallucination
scene of bugs is a real scene within the mind of the person experiencing it.
Other than the vision of physical eyesight, the word vision was not a part of my use vocabulary
in 1969. I had heard of the visions of Joan of Arc who lived around 1412 to 1431, but the young
woman was recounted of as having heard voices. Even in this astounding first moment, I knew
beyond any doubt whatsoever that neither the Almighty Creative Power nor the spiritual
presence/conscience had spoken to me. Thus, any stories about persons having received specific
commands or instructions from either (a) the Almighty or (b) the divine presence immediately
became suspect.
Some might consider spontaneous worded thoughts as voices from some Supernal source, but
I absolutely do not. It is my firm belief that every thing we experience is either of the involuntary
87
Shown before the inner minds I.

nature alone, or involuntary nature and human choice combined.88
As previously noted, this phenomenal physiological event was of completely involuntary order.
Albeit I had prayed for relief, it was only after I chose to release my controlling free will power and
submit to whatever was causing the unprecedented physiological conditions that the vision of a
hovering presence appeared before my viewing inner minds I, and I began experiencing life more
fully than I had been doing. But of course, the basics of the surrounding natural world did not
undergo any change. It is my awareness or perception of them that has changed.
The awakening event and associated sensory vision is separate from the subsequent pictorial
visions. From the moment the hovering presence was detected, and I gushed forth with: Oh my
. . ., You are real; You really are, I was experiencing mental me as if catapulted to a heightened
perceptivity level. The visions that followed were more like thought-starters for a review of
involuntary natural phenomena and/or my unresolved fears.
But how, you might ask, do visions compare to or differ from dreams and hallucinations?
Like dreams and hallucinations, visions are as custom-made to fit the of-the-moment
physiological and psychological conditions of the individual in whose mind they are formed and
projected. One of the things that makes a dream, vision, or other involuntary revelation scene
so memorable is its unique arrangement. Whereas many of my dreams have included scenes I had
never witnessed before, the contributing pieces of the dream scenes have always been familiar
things. The same holds true regarding the pictorial visions and sensory impressions I experienced
between this date and July 14-15, 1970. While the specific scenes and/or impressions had never
been witnessed via my physical eyes, all the combining parts of each vision had been seen or sensed
before--including a nearby presence of sensory (nonphysical) kind. Thus, how can the involuntary
scenes named dreams, hallucinations, or visions not be composed of bits and pieces from memory
images stored within ones own mental self?
88
Even the things we make require the use of things which are of involuntary nature.

Another thing all three of these involuntary types of revelations appear to have in common
is that they provide certain clues about the of-the-moment psychological mental state of the person
in whose mind they are occurring.
Along with the similarity between dreams and hallucinations and visions are the differences.
Of the three, only dreams occur within the asleep/slumbering state. Both hallucinations and visions
occur within the awake state. However, the content and length of visions differ greatly from that
the hallucinations I have heard or read about. My visions were only a few seconds length. I do not
think even one of them was a minute long, and all of them were helpful. In contrast, some
hallucinations can last as long as forty minutes, and do not have any significantly profound or
helpful theme. But the most distinguishing differences between visions and hallucinations are the
extraordinary consequences. Drug-induced or fasting-induced or hysteria-induced hallucinations
do not produce any permanent enhancement in a human beings mental awareness level. Once the
disorder which brought on the hallucinated sights and/or sounds is relieved, the persons mind-set
returns to its usual awareness or reality level. In contrast, the spiritual experience I underwent on
this day resulted in a lasting heightened consciousness level.
Of the visions I experienced on this morning, the first or as initializing one of a briefly hovering
presence takes precedence over all the others. For a fact, the only definitive clue I experienced on
this morning with regard to the actual cause of the phenomenal opportunity was that first or as
introductory very, very brief sensory vision of a hovered presence. Though it took me years to as
connect all the dots and reach a conclusion about the nature of the presence vision, not once did
I think it was the presence of Mr. Jesus. No, not for a parsec did that kind of association ever arise.
The only other possible link that came up was the Almighty Thou__but never with any sense of
conviction. And why not? Because there is no natural evidence in support of such a conclusion.
The only profound thing the vision of the hovered presence suggests to me is that it was an
involuntary manifestation of the inner spiritual presence named conscience in English,
gi (holy spirit) in Greek, and
vuvh
(presence) in Hebrew.

Now for the specific pictorial visions I experienced on this morning
1st Pictorial vision - I do not know what the first of the four pictorial visions was
representative of other than cause for rejoicing. As for the Helen part of the vision, she
was a retired nurse whom I first met at the home of her daughter who lives a few blocks away
from me. The prominent remembrance of Helen was how she always encouraged and made
me feel it was O.K. to dance along my way when I would come visit, and we adults would
be listening to Elvis's "rock and roll" recordings. Still, Helen had not seemed to be the
personality type to kick her heels up in the air when she had been alive.
2nd Pictorial vision - The can-can dancers and spontaneous thoughts about Basin Street in
the second vision may have represented a musical interest of mine which I had been inclined
toward denying: jass, blues, and honky-tonk music. Much of this music does contain a
dash of the erotic or as bump and grind rhythms. But whether I wish it were true or not,
Percy Sledges rendition of When a Man Loves a Woman still makes my knees go limp.
Up to this happening, I had been very inhibited where my natural sexual sensuality was
concerned.
I hesitate to speculate about what the expressions Repeat, Repeat and new generation
may have been representative of. Yet, from the very beginning, I had wondered if what
was happening within me might not be of the same general order as the spiritual happening
Moses is reputed to have undergone while out tending the flock of his father-in-law in the
wilderness of Midian. How could anyone familiar with either the Torah or some English
translation of it not notice the similarity between my gushed response to the sensory vision
of a briefly hovered presence: Oh my . . .You are; You really are! and the reciprocal-styled
expression: I am that I am in Exodus 3:14?
3rd Pictorial vision - I do not recall having read any of the mystery stories featuring Conan
Doyles renowned investigator character Sherlock Holmes, but I do have a vague
recollection of having seen a picture similar to this vision. Perhaps I had seen this character
in a comic book, movie, or TV show.
I have since read that the fictional Sherlock Holmes solved his cases by using deduction
and logical reasoning. Resolving metaphysical issues does require logical investigative
thinking. Perhaps this vision was drawn from the in-mind fact that I had not been in the

habit of reading either the religious or scientific stories about involuntary natural phenomena
after an appropriate questioning, analytical manner.
4th Pictorial vision - The villain character vision was not a welcomed sight. Goodness and
beauty are comforting; evil and ugliness are not. Yet, we cannot let the beautiful or joyous
blind us to the ugly or harsh side of life on earth. At the time, I still held some fear and
doubts about the unknown Almighty Creative Power. But as I recall, the villain character
did not evoke thoughts of particular evil things so much as trustworthiness in general. And
as it turned out, there was another vision at a later time suggestive of the same thing. See
And Then Perhaps to Wisdom [Understanding] on page 109 for a recount of that event.
Although they were sometimes emotionally straining, every vision I experienced
during this eighteen-month period motivated me to confront metaphysical issues I had
previously avoided delving into. Compared to all the horrible things or conditions
human beings have been known to cause, the profound spiritual experience I
underwent between this date and mid-July 1970 was merely very, very awesome.
About the biblical directive: Seek the Truth and it Shall Set You Free.
The truth can set you free, but not in the sense it is presented and defined in John 8:32:
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. In the book from which this
statement is drawn, the man Jesus is portrayed as a substitute for the divine spiritual presence
within__and that is idolatrous thinking!
In John 14:6, Jesus is further recounted of as having said, I am the way, the truth, and
the life: no man [person] cometh unto the Father [The Almighty Thou] but by me. Frankly,
I find it hard to believe that any human being would actually present himself or herself as the
intermediator between the Almighty Thou and all other human beings. In effect, that would
be equivalent to saying: Ignore the inner holy spiritual presence ( vuvh). However, Jesus
may never have said what he is recounted of as having said in the fore-referred verses from
the King James translation of the book of [vTVnnhn /John.
As defined in the referred verses of John, the truth does not set one free. To the
contrary. Revering a human being or human say-so is the epitome of psychological selfenslavement.
As for the son of God [the Supreme or Absolute Creative Mental Power] expression
in John and other Christian texts, I would refer to what Thomas Paine said about that idea

in The Age of Reason89: What is it the Testament teaches us?--to believe that the Almighty
committed debauchery with a woman engaged to be married.
But let me hasten to add:
In Matthew 1:18, it is not said that Mary was found with child of God ( QeV / the Supreme
Power ). What the author said was: she was found with child of the Holy Ghost (
p a(4@L )90 . As was done with the Hebrew word vuvh (divine/holy spiritual
presence) by the author of Genesis 4:1, the author of Matthew 1:18 used the Greek phrase
p a(4@L to represent the natural involuntary part of human reproduction.
Please keep in mind that none of the speaking lines attributed to Joseph, Mary, or Jesus
in the context of the Christian testament were written by them. And suffice to say, neither
were any of those attributed to Qeo/$ and p a(4@L written by either of these two
differing referred subjects. For a Fact:
g Every word ever heard uttered or seen in graphic form has been uttered and/or
inscribed by one or more of us imperfect finite level creative beings.
*
Whereas I could not ignore the similarity between my response: Oh my . . . You are real; your
really are. and the reciprocal form: I am that I am in the Exodus account of Moses transcendent
experience, it would be years before I would have the linguistic information with which to be able
to do a thorough examination of Exodus account of Moses transcendent level spiritual experience.
No information is included in the King James authorized translation of the Exodus account
concerning what Moses may have been meditating or pondering at the onset of the extraordinary
spiritual happening he underwent, but I truly believe that my candid prayer--along with my having
turned away from my former idols--was what as triggered the extraordinary spiritual happening that
helped me to turn bewilderment and doubt (and even morbid fear) into a workable confidence. It
also appears that only the unabashed truth will suffice when it comes to productive praying__and
that such a degree of self-honesty can not be done in oral public prayers.
89
LOF
90
Or Spirit

As for why the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth is so vital when praying, are
not our inner memories as natural affidavits of what we fear or do not fear, . . . know or do not
know, . . . believe or do not believe,. . . desire or do not desire, et cetera? And do not our asleep
dreams or visions of the night (as the author of Job 20:8 and 33:15 called these involuntarily
revealed projections) prove that our real fears, hopes, wonders, doubts, etc. feelings or thoughts
cannot be hidden from the subconscious involuntary part of our mental selves?
Despite all the wondrous changes that might occur within ones mind-set following a
transcendent spiritual experience, visions of the day or awake time are just too similar to dreams and
hallucinations to not also be produced by the involuntary subconscious part of our mental selves.
Thus, it is my reasoned conclusion that:
g The involuntary (subconscious and/or unconscious) part of our psyche is the source or as
messenger behind all involuntary revelations: E.g., dream scenes, hallucinations, visions,
spontaneous thoughts, desires, and emotional feelings of both good and not-good kind.
t the time I presented my first I-to-Thou prayer on the night of January 13-14, 1969, I had
never done any research on the books of the Jewish testament. The assumptions I had acquired
regarding the existence and character of the envisioned Cause of the primary natural world had been
derived from preachers sermons and the remarks of some family members and/or other lay persons.
Neither had I ever given any extended thought to which general category or genre the biblical
Scriptures are of: fiction or nonfiction. With the exception of my illiterate father91, all of the people
with whom I had become acquainted between my first remembrance of anything and the
immediately-referred date in 1969 treated both the Jewish and the Christian testaments as if they
were nonfictional writings. And even though I had (in September 1966) come to recognize that the
story about Jesus conception were not literally true, I had not gone on to give any investigative
attention to the literal accuracy of the Jewish Scriptures. Perhaps that was because neither Abraham,
91
W ho repeatedly asked the Christians who would come and try to persuade him to bring himself and his family
to church, If Adam and Ever were the only two people on earth, who did their children marry ?

Moses, nor any of the other men in the referred to in the Torah are portrayed as a demi-deity (son
the Almighty Thou /ohvkt and some human maiden).
However, after I experienced the vision of a hovered presence, all biblical writings came into
question. While I believed Moses did undergo a transcendent level interaction with vuvh (the divine
presence) within his mental self, the Exodus recount of the event is presented in a fictional rather
than nonfiction literary style.
Let us also keep in mind that regardless of what part of the biblical stories are fictionalized and
what part might not be, all speeches and writings are of human word (manifestations of human
thought). Even in the figurative sense, the only thing that might be counted as the Almightys
word(manifestations of Supernal thought) would be the primary natural cosmic world creations.
Considering the literary style in which it is written, I cannot imagine the one or more authors of
the Torah/Pentateuch ever having expected the speaking lines ascribed to either ohvkt (the Almighty
Power) or vuvh (divine presence) to be taken literally. We also need to allow for the expected
readers of the scrolls. It was probably only the priests. Every scroll had to be written by hand.
There was no mass production of the Torah Scriptures like there is today (thousands of years later).
And even though the author(s) of the Torah portrayed the Almighty Thou as possessing gender
and other mortal body parts (e.g., a larynx / voice box, eyes, ears, hands), who would take that
implication literally? I mean__is it not impossible for the Almighty Power that created primary
matter to be made of the primary matter (e.g. hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, carbon, etc. molecules of
atoms)?
As for vuvh (the divine presence), neither is there any natural evidence with which to support
the claim that projected revelation vision messages by this inner source are voiced speeches. I know
that all the sensory visions, impression visions, and pictorial visions I experienced were voiceless.
One of the best explanations about voices in the mind I have seen appears on page 311 of
Cold Mountain, 92where the author has the leading male character note (after considering his grossly
weakened physiological state): he reckoned he was not hearing voices at all, just words forming
92
Charles Frazier, (New York, NY: Atlantic Monthly Press, 1997). CM

up in his head, even though he could not make sense of them.
gIndeed, no part of our inner mental self contains a voice box /larynx; hence, the spiritual
presence within cannot speak/utter sounds.
Confrontation with ones doubts, fears, and ignorances can be soul-wrenching. Nonetheless, we
need to reason about natural phenomena after a good common sense/ logical manner. Fanciful
conjecturing is of no benefit. The only fundamental truths we can discover are those within (a) our
mixed voluntary and involuntary mortal selves and (b) the external involuntary forces and events of
the rest of the natural cosmic world.
When it comes to questions about the nature of the human mind, inspect your own mental self.
With explicitly honest effort, you can distinguish your involuntary thoughts, memories, or feelings
from ideas or thoughts which are of your own volition or reasoned conclusion. To my surprise,
most of what occurs within mental me is in the form of feelings, impulses, unsolicited thoughts or
memories, dreams, etc. involuntary projections of varying good or not-good quality.
For me, the most difficult fear or wonder to consider was my actual ignorance of the Cause of
the primary cosmic world (and hence the Cause of the first generation of our species). What if the
envisioned Almighty Maker-Owner of the cosmic world exists, but is not truly divine or totally just?
It does not matter, I finally realized; for whatever might be the truth concerning the existence
and the character of the envisioned Absolute Creative Mental Power, so it is. There is absolutely
nothing I can do about it.
But as it happened, upon recognition of this personal undeniable truth, I experienced an
immediate sense of relief. Oddly, my belief in (a) the existence of an Absolute or Infinite Creative
Mental Power and (b) the trustworthiness of the seemingly unchanging holy spiritual presence within
is stronger for having dared to allow--and subsequently recognizemy ignorance.
When the
truth is your genuine goal, you let your fears be confronted, . . . your doubts be
acknowledged, . . . the incredulous be investigated, . . . and your personal ignorances be admitted

to__especially those ignorances pertaining to the unknown cause of our species and the ultimate
destiny of us mental beings when the organic body part dies.
L ive your life while
you have it. Life is a splendid

giftthere is nothing
small about it. 93
93
Florence Nightingale.
ENDNOTES
I.
Fig. 15. Scanned copy of an illustration put together by me in the late 1970s of
cutouts from scraps of the kitchen soffit wallpaper.

II.
Fig. 16. Scanned copy of an article from the September 15, 1966 issue of the Beacon newspaper.

II-a
Fig. 17. Page below copied from the August 19, 1966 issue of Virginia Beach Sun.

II-b OCR-scanned copy of an article that appeared in Ledger-Star on September 18, 1966:
Fig. 18. Photo of old city of David's market place in Jerusalem model courtesy of Eric O. Anderson.
Young Peoples Jerusalem

Showing a Model of The Ancient City
Clothespin and Egg Boxes

Make Biblical City Model
Virginia Beach - A model of
ancient Jerusalem may be seen
in the 5th and 6th grade class
room in the Sunday School
building at Lynnhaven
Colony Church, Virginia
Beach.
Thereby hangs the story.
About a year ago Mrs.
James M. Hudgins and Mrs.
George J. Seals became
teachers of the 5th and 6th grade
classes of the Lynnhaven
Colony Sunday School.

During their teaching they
noticed that many lessons
referred to the city of
Jerusalem.
Then came the idea to make a
model of the old city. The
teachers and the 19 members of
the class spent one year making
miniature buildings on a large
table top.
The clothes of the figures in
the model were made of crepe
paper. The figures were clothes

pins. The buildings were
fashioned from burlap, straws,
egg cartons and similar
materials.
Much of the work was done in
the workshop at the Hudgins
residence and in the year of
activity references to Jerusalem
have become more meaningful
as students and teachers aided in
the building of the model.

II-c. A typed copy of an article in December 1, 1996 issue of News Topics, a newspaper published
by C&P Telephone Company for the employees and their families.
THE HOLY [94] CITY
Jerusalem is not merely an ancient city on Bible pages for Sunday School students at one
Virginia Beach church.
Thanks to an imaginative, year-long
project, spearheaded by a telephone family, the
holy [ancient] city has become threedimensional. The youngsters now feel they
know the citys people, architecture and way of
life. And, they have developed a lasting
interest in Bible studies.
It all began, says Liz Hudgins, wife of
PBX Installer-Repairman J. Maxwell Hudgins,
with the simple classroom idea that a model
of Jerusalem might help to stimulate the
childrens interest.
The complete and authentic model that
resulted has won community-wide attention.
It is the work of 19 students, the Hudgins
family, and other volunteers including a
number of telephone people. Some of these are
Portsmouth Service Foreman Slim Hodges and
Fig. 19. OLD WORLD Clothespin figures, crepe
his son Horace, Churchland Central Office paper tunics, egg carton buildings, burlap baskets
Repairman Tom Reilley and his twin daughters combine to make realistic model of old Jerusalem.
[Again, photo courtesy of Eric O. Anderson].
Donna and Lyn, Western Electrics Bell
Stallings and her daughter Sandra and Norfolk
Operator Georgianna Minerd and her daughter Sandy.
Mrs. Hudgins estimates that she herself spent an average of three to four hours a day working
on the project. Checking for detail and authenticity, she read through 30 or 40 books from the
public library. Friends, students, and the pastor supplied her with other books.
Much of the work was done in the Hudgins workshop, which was at one time mainly used
by her husband. But, because of the project, he hasnt been able to use it for a year, Mrs.
Hudgins said.
94
Hallowed would be a more suitable word for plot of land of special significance to one or more of us.

III.
Fig. 20. Copy of song Glenna Crewe Hudgins xeroxed for me from a hymnal.

IV. The scanned image below was copied from August 21, 1999 issue of The Virginian-Pilot
newspaper95
Fig. 21. "Sherlock Holmes, spiritual guru" article by Gerald Renner.
I consider the featured part to be the following statement credited to Stephen Kendrick:
We are so used to thinking of religious revelation coming into the world by blinding visions . . .
that we too easily forget that spiritual truth is right here, right before us. It is just too obvious
for us to notice.
But keep in mind that spiritual revelation is not religious revelation. Spiritual revelation is
produced by the spiritual presence/holy spirit within each of us. People form religions.
95
Norfolk, VA: Landmark
103 Communications,
Inc. TVP
From Foolishness to Discretion

______________
Date in Re:
Place:
Time of Day:
Theme:
January 15, 1969

Family Living room
Morning
"Doomsday"96
s I was passing through the dining room on my way to
the living room, I noticed that the morning sun rays streaming
down the hallway from the east end of the house bore a yucky
salmon-pink tinge (likened to that in the photo at right).
Perplexed and a bit uneasy, I proceeded to step on down into
the living room where Anne was playing. The television was
on. To my wonder and amazement, the following three scenes
sequentially appeared upon the surface97 of the TV screen:
1st The globe of the Earth with a stork flying across "Nome"
(Alaska).
Fig. 22. My tinted copy of ww2-163.jpg ,

a black & white photo of atomic bomb
dropped over Hiroshima. Credit for original
photo: www.archives.gov.
2rd The blackened carcass of a burned out earth with spires of smoldering trees and buildings
silhouetted in the background distance.
96
97
I.e., destruction of the planet Earth, or the entire world/cosmic system. See item 1. in Epilogue.
As with an hallucination, a pictorial vision eclipses a portion of the scene that is in front of your physical
eyes. If your eyelids are closed, then the inside of the lids is the background upon which the vision part is layered.

3nd A lab with a male chemist working at the counter. The man was wearing a regular white lab
coat. One side of his face was white, the other side was black. Also, there was a potato chip
commercial. 98
When I later went into the kitchen to get something, these words came to mind: "Take six
aspirins and lie face down on the floor." Though submitted to take what came, I nixed that
unsolicited thought. However, the impression that an atomic "Doomsday" I might be an immediately
pending event could not be as easily dismissed. The vision of abnormally-tinted sun rays combined
with the vision of a charred earth were too suggestive of such an event for me to ignore them.
I was a smoker. Not wanting to be caught dead smoking, I tried to quit that vice. Wasnt
successful. My patience was becoming too heavily challenged to deal with nicotine withdrawals
too. I lit up another cigarette.
Anne was full of energy on this particular morning, and determined to
involve me in her game-playing. At times, playing with her did help
distract me from the foreboding feeling that the war that could end or
grossly mutilate all human life--a nuclear warmight be about to begin.
Fig.2 3 . cigaret-7.jpg
image by Paolo Neo,
www.public-domainphotos.com.
While picking at a pretty daisy broach of hers, Anne broke off one or
more of the metallic petals. It was a beautiful pin.
I, the supervising adult, should not have allowed
a five-year-old child to play with a piece of jewelry of this quality. But the
broken jewelry was not as disturbing as what Anne said at one point while
inspecting the broach petals, and I quote: The black flowers are for the
boys and the white flowers are for the girls. The broach daisy did not
Fig. 23.1. Photo by me.
include any black-colored petals. What could that child possibly mean?
I thought to myself, (forgetting how much fantasizing a young child is inclined toward doing).
Contemplating my impending death, I thought about what to take with me. The days issue of
the Virginian Pilot newspaper and a copy of a King James authorized translation of The Bible
98
The potato chip commercial was most probably TV-produced. All I recall about it is that there was one
within the same time segment as the lab and chemist (or other laboratory scientist) vision scene.

were my two choices. [What a delusion! Even if our mental souls instantaneously ascend upward
toward eternal space when the body part of us dies, the only thing we beings could possibly take
with us would be our inner personal memories of what life on earth had been like. As you might
suppose, this was a shocking experience while it was occurring.]
Even at the hypothetical envisioning level, my own temporal life was a fact I could not fully
confront at the prime young adult age of thirty-six years. Life on earth had just taken on rich new
meaning for me, and now it might actually be about to end!? No, the fact that each one of us is
subject to the mortal death from the moment we take our first independent breath of earths organic
life-supporting air was too awesome a truth for me to confront in one mental gulp on this first
morning after the new awakening. But the visions of this day did cause me to begin thinking about
the unavoidable ending of my mortal life.
At the beginning of the premonition of an impending doomsday disaster, I was thinking that
the visions were as warnings, and that I would be taken in advance and thus be spared the fiery end.
I was also mistakenly assuming that my at-school children would be protected within the steel and
brick frameworks of their respective public school buildings.
As an employee of the local telephone company, my husband
was a designated civil defenseworker. If a nuclear war should
begin, I could not anticipate his making it back home to the aid of
our youngest child and me. What about her? She was not in a
bomb shelter like the older three children were. The envisioned
scenario of her wandering alone in the midst of the blazing inferno99
screaming Mommie was more than even cowardly me could bear.
Wondering if I would be able to find the courage to do so while
suffering intense physical pain, I asked (and with absolute sincerity)
99
Fig. 24. Crop of photo of Anne taken

by her brother, James M. Hudgins, Jr.
Having suffered an accidental scalding when I was four years old, I knew what hot boiling stuff can do to
human skin. Although no noticeable physical scars remain, the memory of the excruciatingly painful burns and my
exhausting screams do. See From Pain to Compassion on page 318 in Part III - Related Childhood Events.

that she be taken in advance, and I be the one left to die the slow agonizingly painful fiery death.
Melodramatically, I had set noon as the "maybe" deadline. When high-noon came and went,
I allowed one more hour--just in case. After one oclock came and passed without incident, I
figured that whatever might be the significance of the vision of strangely tinted sun rays and the
pictorial visions upon the TV screen, the prophesied fiery end of the world was probably not going
to occur that day.
Earlier, I had told Anne that we might go out for lunch that day.
Either way, I had wanted the two of us to be looking nice, and had
dressed each of us in our finest. Lace pantyhose were in vogue at the
time. I put on mine with my best navy blue two-piece dress (shown at
the left). All I can recall of Annes outfit was
that she had on white tights and black patent
leather shoes likened to those in the figure at
right. For former Depression Era me, black
Fig. 25. Crop of me from 1966
family photo.
patent dress shoes on a little girl were as a

badge of prosperity.
Fig. 25.1. photo courtesy of

www.uniquehomestore.com.
When one oclock came and everything was still standing, I took my daughter Anne and myself
out to lunch.
__________
Epilogue
pon gulping my first breath of the earths finite life supporting air, I was of course subject to
the mortal death. But having a general understanding of this inevitable event is not the same as
grasping it as an ever-imminent moment. Unless critically ill, who contemplates or envisions his
or her death as about to occur? I never had. On this morning, I had to. If the unusual shade of the
morning sun rays was not provocative enough, there were the three vision scenes which, to varying
degrees, were thematically suggestive of planetary annihilation. In addition, there was all that I had
heard or read in school science classes or books between 1965 and this day in 1969 about a
developing doomsday of the cosmic variety.
1. Doomsday? Depending upon the mind-set of the speaker or writer, the word doomsday means
either (a) the end of the planet earth or (b) the end of the entire Cosmic System. In the Genesiss
authors perspective, it meant the earth. But in From Genesis to Doomsday 100, doomsday meant
the eventual collapse of the entire cosmic world:
Cosmologists say they can see the fiery beginning of the universe [101] in the blackness of the sky,
and from this they prophesy when time itself will end. . . . Cosmologists predict that the entire
universe will be within our horizon some 30, 000,000, 000 years from now , when the expansion has
come to a standstill. Due to the steady pull of gravity, the cosmos will then start to contract, at first
slowly, then faster and faster. After another 40, 000, 000, 000 years, the galaxies will be smashed
together, their burnt-out stars will collide, and, in one gargantuan implosion, the cosmos will become
once more a fireball filled with light. It will be the light of Doomsday, and nobody will be there to
know whether it is also the light of a new Genesis.
The authors also spoke in detail about expanding space. On page 63, they provided an
illustration about the stretching space [and I will be including a copy of that illustration on the next
page of my entry] . Continuing on page 64, they compared the surface of a balloon as likened to a
100
E. L. Schucking and Brenda Biram, Science Year: The World Book Science Year (Illinois: Field Enterprises
Educational Corportation , 1967), 60-73. W BSA67
101
The word universe cannot mean both (1) the galaxies in space and (2) the space the galaxies are in. Such
duplicity of meaning inhibits understanding. I think of the universe as the amount of infinite space in which the
galaxies and their contents are located, and only that.

stretching space. The surface, they said, space itself, grows, and each galaxy on it moves farther
away from all the other galaxies.
Here is a scanned copy of The Stretching of Space illustration from page 63 of the immediately
referred science book:
Fig. 26. Illustration from WESA67.
As I understand it, Schuchkings and Birams theory was that the borders of universal space are
changing because the galaxies that make up the cosmic world are stretching out and using up a
greater volume of infinite space. If you blow up a balloon, it will occupy more physical space than
it did before you enlarged it by putting a certain amount of air in it. However, the enlargement can
only happen if there is extra space around it for it to swell out to. Likewise, the galaxies can only
move apart to spread out over a larger volume of space if there is more empty space available.
Things made of atomic matter are finite entities.
And as such, they are subject to
entropy__which leads me to the other scientific prediction about a cosmic doomsday that I had
acquired a memory image of prior to January 15, 1969:
The universe is running down, and when the energy is all used up, . . . [Poof! Thats It!]

But as I noted in my questioning response to the 1967 ODC chemistry professors statement
about cosmic entropy, How can we say the universe [the natural cosmic world] is running down
when we can measure only one end of it, our end?
No, the cosmic world is not the space it is in. Nor would the end of the created celestial
entities by which we measure time remove absolute or infinite time. Mentally remove the above
boxes illustrations within the bordered space. What is left of the representative illustration? A
vacant area of absolute space, . . . infinite or absolute time, . . . and The unknown Infinite Creative
Cause of the known finite cosmic world.
Albeit infinite or absolute, I perceive space to be of a fixed dimension. That is to say, I believe
there is an Absolute Infinite World, Absolute Infinite Space, Absolute Infinite Time, and an
Absolute Infinite Almighty Creative Power.
2. The Visions:
During my formative years and on into my young adult years, my mind was repeatedly exposed
to the story in Genesis 6:1 to 9:17 of the KJV translation about how the Maker-Owner of the cosmic
world did once upon a time destroy all the human inhabitants of the earth excepting one man named
Noah, his spouse, their three sons, and their sons wives.
However, it was the vision scenes I
was experiencing rather than the biblical story that was causing me to wonder if January 15, 1969,
might not be the fiery end of the planet earth.
a) The vision of Nome and a stork?

Nome is the name of a seaport settlement on the
Seward Peninsula of Alaska, and the site of some USA
military air bases and observation posts. Although I can now
recall having heard something about these vanguard posts
during the Cuban crisis in 1963, I was not remembering it on
this day. The strong vision of burned out lands plus the
impression vision of a forewarning were the only things that
came to mind on this morning concerning early warning
systems.
Fig. 27. Globe part photo is by me;

background with stork is courtesy of
Brad Kuntz.

The only memory images of a stork I had on January 15, 1969, were comments or
pictures depicting a white stork carrying a human baby in a cloth sling. But since then, I
have come across the following interesting facts and legends about this long-legged bird:
The stork has no voice. Encarta 2004 Reference Library, CD-ROM, ( Redmond,
WA: Microsoft Corporation, 1993-2003). ERL-04
According to Ukrainian folklore, the stork is a symbol of life, of prosperity and of

hope for the future. (From an internet site).
The familiar legend that the stork brings the new baby into the home arises from the
fact that the bird takes loving care of its own young.102
Although the vision scene of a stork flying over the city of Nome, Alaska, is not
remembered as carrying a newborn baby, my impression is that it was. Since dream scenes,
hallucination scenes, and vision scenes are made up of bits and pieces from ones in-mind
memory images, I wonder if: (1)Nome may have been representative of a USA military
"early warning" outpost in event of a nuclear attack, and (2) the stork part of the vision
pertained to human parenthood. However, I still do not remember having read or heard
anything about the stork having no voice and taking loving care of its young before this date
in 1969.
b) The vision of a destroyed earth.
As previously noted, the vision of the charred remains and still-burning spires where
once had stood trees and tall buildings was probably the vision that had the most to do with
my thinking a nuclear "doomsday" might be about to occur.
c) The vision of a half-black and half-white "chemist" at work in a lab.
In addition to the thought of nuclear [atomic] warfare that the vision of a "chemist" with
a half black and half white face evoked, there is also what I later recalled having seen in one
102
W BE
The World Book Encyclopedia, vol. S (Chicago, IL: Field Enterprises Educational Corp., 1966 ), 713.

of the original Star Trek shows about racial prejudices. I do not
recall the title of that episode, but here are some lines from a more
recent TV commemorative review of this story about how petty
racial conflict resulted in the annihilation of both races:
"Commissioner: 'It is obvious to even the most simple-minded that
the Loci (those black on the left side race) is of an inferior breed.'
Commander Spock: ''The obvious and visual evidence,
Commissioner, is that he is of the same breed as yourself.'
Commissioner: 'Are you blind, Commander Spock? Look at me.
Look at me.'
Fig. 28. Image adapted from

my photo of Bruce-with his
courteous permission.
Captain Kirk: 'You are black on one side and white on the other.'
Commissioner: ' I am black on the right side.'
Captain Kirk: ' I fail to see the significant difference.'
Commissioner: 'Loci is white on the right side. All of his people are white on the right
side.' "
Star Trek was not ordinary science fiction. The producers of this TV series also devised
fantasized situations for pointing out the idiocy of social cruelties like gender biases, racial
biases, and the mutually self-defeating consequences of such illogical behaviors. Through the
character Mr. Spock, logical reasoning about events and choices was featured in every episode.
Inspirational work is not and never has been limited to the writings of the biblical authors.
In fact, where is the good or rational inspiration in The Garden of Eden allegory? Woman as
an afterthought, . . . and made of a used rib from Man, . . . and for his personal needs and
domination? Really! Other parts of the biblical writings foster racial or ethnic bias. Worse yet,
these injustices are asserted to have been instituted by and/or are supported by the Infinite
Creative Power that c h o s e to originate both genders and all four basic racial varieties of us!
In fact, I have never seen a biblical text from either The Tanach testaments, the Christian
testaments, or the Koran testaments that does not portray the envisioned Almighty Thou as
likened to the worst of us.

3. Illusions (incorrect perceptions or beliefs):
Like a swimmer who might be cascading down a series of unexplored rapids, I had no clue
whatsoever as to when or how the happening I had (on the day before) consented to allow to proceed
would end. Throughout this phenomenal series, I strained against thinking about the biblical
versions of extraordinary or transcendent level experiences. Why so? Because what I was
experiencing was not as the biblical writers had described such events to be. The only visions I
experienced were either silent sensory or pictorial ones. So how could I not wonder about the
literal accuracy of the King James authorized translation of the Jewish (Heb) and Christian (Grk)
biblical testaments about vocalized visions?
Nonetheless, the memory images of the narratives about (a) Noah and the destruction of the
earth by flood waters and (b) about Lot and the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by
brimstone and fire103 were still in my mind. In addition to the fear-evoking ancient biblical stories
about the Designer of involuntary nature having exterminated whole communities of people because
of a high incidence of immoral behavior among the citizenry, there was all that I had heard or read
about the potential for incredibly devastating nuclear disasters. In 1969, the following things had
either occurred or were occurring.
Various nations were building and stockpiling nuclear warheads."
Some people had built bomb shelters.
Certain public buildings in the USA were designated as bomb shelters in case of a
nuclear attack.
There had been the Cuban nuclear missile threat in October 1963.
Hence, my wonder about imminent oblivion was couched in current facts as well as certain of
our ancient past peers' premises about (a) the character of the Almighty and (b) the purpose of
catastrophic floods, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, etc. involuntary natural disasters.
103
Genesis 19:24-25. This was probably either a catastrophic level volcanic eruption or an earthquake.

Masters of War and A Hard Rains A-Gonna Fall (songs by Bob Dylan about peace-throughbalance-of-terror) playing on the airwaves heightened my senses in regard to potential global
nuclear war. Keep in mind that both vocal and instrumental music can, and frequently does
produce a mesmerizing or hypnotic-like effect on the mind/psyche of ourselves. Many patriotic,
"social reform," and religious songs are written for the purpose of doing just that.
But as awful as the thought of a nuclear war was, it was not as psychologically perplexing as the
biblical-associated doomsday stories were. My on-the-spot wonder if the premonition of an
impending nuclear disaster was as a divine forewarning was a force-of-habit delusion rather than
a reasoned logical conclusion.
I now recognize that the presumption that the Almighty Thou intermittently intervenes to
selectively punish or grant special favors to some of us is based on nothing more than superstitious
speculation. At some future time, the Created cosmic system may come to an end. As for the mass
destruction of human life on earth story, there is no evidence in involuntary nature that
catastrophic level flooding, extreme volcanic eruptions, etc. natural disasters are devised by the
Almighty Thou for the purpose of causing specific individuals and/or even entire communities of
men, women, boys, girls, and unborn babies to undergo an untimely death. As Robert G. Ingersoll
put it in Some Reasons Why:
g "In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments--there are consequences."
As I review this memorable and thought-provoking event, I am reminded anew of just how deep
and strong had been the adverse effects of the biblical narratives I grew up with upon my
psychological mind-set concerning "natural disasters" and untimely deaths. Please allow that even
the most unemotional persons among us would not be able to make an instantaneous transition to
perceiving the real world and their ignorances as they actually are. Neither is serious confrontation
with ones mortality an easy intellectual feat; for despite all that has been written to the contrary,
no one knows what happens to us mental souls upon the death of our body parts. All that can
be said of certainty is that the physical form within which we are embodied is of finite life kind and

limited duration. It does die. And once completely dead, the body parts decompose to become so
many dry fragments of nonliving atomic matter. Earths gravitational force keeps all bodies from
freely floating off into space.
The impression that I would die before the speculated atomic doomsday began to occur was most
probably a contributing vision, but I think it was the unnatural tint of the morning suns rays
combined with the three provocative pictorial visions that made it near-impossible for me to not
wonder if a nuclear disaster might not be about to occur. I do not mean that the visions were
messages from the Almighty Thou. Indeed not! But the sensory and pictorial visions I experienced
were thematically suggestive of fearful ideas or impressions that I either had deliberately avoided
thinking about, or was not aware that I needed to think about.
Spirituality-associated fears or hang-ups are the most difficult to confront. For instance, the
fear of death involves more than just fear of the physical death; there is also the question of what
happens to our soulful mental selves when the physical body parts die. At the same time, I have
since discovered that with the exception of human evil deeds, the thing feared is not as hard to live
with as the fear of it had been. But once,
I feared to allow that the biblical commandments were of Moses' origination; lest I find that there
are no absolute ethical principles.
I feared to admit that I really do not know anything about the character of the envisioned Almighty
Creative Cause of the primary world; lest I find out that Originator-Owner of the cosmic world must
necessarily be presumed to be unthinkably unfair or cruel.
I feared to think about what would have to be true for immortality to be true; lest I find no plausible
reason to believe that everlasting mental life follows upon the demise of the mortal body, and that
there will be a time of clarification.
Then I recognized__ it does not matter. Regardless of what the truth might be about (1) the
character of the Almighty Thou, (2) the absolute moral standards or principles of justice,
(3)immortal life, or (4) the quality of it, I have no power to change these truths.

Verification of our theories about the Almighty Creative Power is not possible during our mortal
lifetime. Likewise, what happens to us inner mental beings at the death of our body parts is not
foreseeable. But it is significant, I think, that upon acknowledging these ignorances, there was
an immediate sense of relief. But then, my own ignorance is an undeniable truth, an indisputable
fact. What is unknown is unknown__ and both The Almighty Creative Power and immortality are
unknowns.
No, neither physical nor mental involuntary nature is our biggest foe, or greatest cause for fear.
It is the inferior or unwise choices we voluntary level souls make that causes war, torture, deception,
gender bias, racial bias or partiality, et cetera evils or cruelties. To wit, hell is an of-earth condition
brought about and sustained by our collective unwise, greedy, cowardly and/or deranged choices.
While it appears that the author(s) of the Torah may have actually believed that all involuntary
natural eventsbut especially those of the extraordinary degreeare directly caused by the Creative
Cause of the primary world, there is no justification for presenting one's own conclusions about such
events as having instead directly emanated from ohvukt / the assumed Absolute or Infinite Creative
Mental Power, as was done by the author of Genesis 6:13:
ovhbpn xnj .rtv vtkn-hf hbpk tc rac-kf .e jbk ohvkt rnthu

:.rtv-,t o,hjan hbbvu
And God [The Almighty] said unto Noah: The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is
filled with violence through them; and behold, I will destroy them with the earth.
Point of Fact:
gAny use of the word I other than for referring to either our mind's I, our whole mind-body
system, or as a word under discussion is of fictionalized usage.
Although the experience I underwent between January 14, 1969, and mid-July 1970, has not
proven to me that the envisioned Creative Cause of our species is good, it has helped me to
recognize that there is no natural evidence104 to the contrary.
104
I.e., evidence that is not of human opinion.

Just because some past peers of ours have said that ohvkt /The Almighty did on certain occasions
contact various individuals of the Abram lineage does not mean that it actually happened.
Inspiration via spiritual revelation is not Supernal dictation.
Like ourselves, the one or more
authors of the Torah narratives were not immune to errors in judgment regarding the cause and
purpose of "natural disasters" and other involuntary natural events. Moreover, we do we know that
some man named Noah ever said what he is recounted of as having said regarding the reason(s) why
he built an ark prior to the great deluge/flooding that occurred in the region of this planet where he
resided. The automatic involuntary movements of the birds and other animals in his community at
the time could have indicated that a serious weather condition was developing.
It is my firm belief that the Creative Cause of our species is totally impartial. But whether you
believe or do not believe in the existence of an Absolute Creative Mental Power, no human being
escapes the mortal death. That is not a faith issue. Each of us will suffer the death of the finite
body. Therefore, . . .
ENDNOTES
I. A photo of the first atomic bomb blast into the earth's life-supporting air over Hiroshima,
Japan on the morning of August 6, 1945, and another depicting a consequence of the blast:
Fig. 29. ww2-163.jpg, www.archives.gov.
Fig. 29.1. Hiroshima aftermath photo is also a U.S. Army Air Force photo.
'And Then Perhaps to Wisdom [Understanding]'

____________
Dates In Re: January 15 to February 14, 1969
uring one of the afternoons between January 15, 1969, and February 14, 1969, I found
myself in a situation where I had to deal with the "Devil" idea. It came about this way:
I was lying upon my bed resting. Little Anne was on the bed with me. She was probably
taking a nap. But all I can recall is that she was there when the impression-vision of the
Devil just popped up in mind, . . .and along with it, the near instant wonder if the Devil and
the Almighty Thou might not be one and the same__and that on the morning of January 14,
I had been tricked into thinking I was submitting to the Almighty Thou. After the briefest
of moments, I responded:
So you fooled me. You may get me in the end, but neither bullies nor beguilers
have anything to be proud of.
Then, mentally gesturing toward my innocent five-year-old child lying across the
foot of my bed at the time, I noted: Shes good.
With that final word, I moved on. Albeit I had seen the words Devil and Satan at various places
in the standard King James version of the Jewish and Christian biblical writings, I had no
knowledge of either biblical Hebrew or biblical Greek on this date.

No additional commentary on the history of the words Devil and Satan was included in the notes
I took at the time of the vision. But later on, I was able to think about and trace the words Devil
and Satan to their early biblical sources. And as previously noted, Satan is merely a transliteration
of the Hebrew word
iya (Sa-tan).
Again, the actual meaning of iya is Adversary, and its first
appearance in the Hebrew Scriptures is in Zachariah 3:1:
iyavu vuvh ltkn hbpk sng kusdv ivfv gauvh ,t hbtrhu

ubyak ubhnh kg sng
And he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel [messenger]of the LORD [divine
presence], and [the] Satan [the Adversary] standing at his right hand to accuse [thwart] him.
The English word Devil appears to have been derived from the Greek word
(diabolou), meaning slanderer or accuser. The first instance of that word in biblical usage was
in the Septuagint, a Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible. In that translation, the Hebrew word
iya
was translated as . Although Satan and Devil are generally treated as synonyms,
slanderer and accuser do not imply the same connotation that adversary does.
But regardless of how alike or different the original meaning of each of these words was,
iya
/Adversary (Heb), /Slanderer, Accuser (Grk), and devil (Eng) are three differing humanoriginated names assigned to the part of our mind responsible for all of our adverse temptations.
The corresponding names for the involuntary good tempter part are:
vuvh / divine presence (Heb),
/holy spirit(Grk), and conscience (Eng).

I do not have the scientific data from which to affirm whether it is true or not, but in Two Ways
of Knowing, Peter Shepherd had this to say about the nature of the left side of the human brain as
compared to the right side in regard to our conflicting involuntary temptations:
"The right brain, by its very nature, cannot lie; the left brain is an expert at lying - at fabricating
answers, telling stories, rationalizing, blaming and erecting all of the Ego defenses."
Again, it is my conclusion that the words Devil and Satan represent personifications of the part
of our minds responsible for our adverse impulses, and __that there is no real Supernal Devil/Satan
being. As I see it, the Almighty Creative Power that originated our species is necessarily the cause

of both (a) the part of mind that inspires us to be fair, and (b) the adverse part that tempts us to
defend ourselves from discomfort and untimely death at all costs.
*
During the days between January 15, 1969 and February 14-15, 1969, I also began doing some
research on the atomic bomb. Hiroshima,105a book I found in the magazine section of Bayside
Pharmacy about what it was like for six human beings who survived the explosion over Hiroshima,
Japan, in August 1945, proved to be very helpful in visualizing what an atomic doomsday might
be like.
I also went to the public library, checked out and reread The Manhattan Project, a 1967
publication about the development of the first atomic bomb. Although not required collateral
reading, this book had been recommended by the professor I had for the lecture part of the
chemistry course I retook at ODC during the 1968 spring semester.
I later came across several encyclopedia illustrations that depicted the nuclear bombs
mushroom cloud" to be of the same ugly yucky pink hue in the vision of the morning suns rays
I had observed on the morning of January 15, 1969. As it happened, I did not have a computer and
scanner at the time. Thus, I do not have copies of those illustrations to include here. But sometime
before January 15, 1969, I probably did see a picture of an atomic blast containing that tint. Most
assuredly, I had seen the colors salmon and pink before; otherwise, there would not have been any
memory images of those shades within me for a vision to be drawn from. As I have noted before,
there were no parts in the visions I experienced between January 14, 1969, and early spring 1970,
which I had not seen before. Like my asleep dreams, the awake visions I observed were made up
from bits and pieces of my own in-mind sensory and/or visual memory images. Only the
arrangements were unique.
105
John Hersey ( New York, NY: Random House, Inc., 1946). H
Another notable self-help thing I did during this interim period was to start imagining myself
addressing certain past persons who had influenced my psychological mind-set concerning both (1)
the idea of an Almighty or Infinite Creative Mental Power and (2) extraordinary involuntary natural
events of both physical and mental kind. Some of the people, like Grandpa Dick, were people I had
known.
Then there were all those biblical and other book personalities whom I had heard or read the
reputed ideas of but never met (e.g., Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Matthew, John, Paul, Socrates,
Aristotle). Now that I was at least partially de-mesmerized as far as the biblical authors portrayal
of the Almighty Thou and spiritual revelations were concerned, I could approach the biblical authors
and/or the persons they had written about after the same direct casual manner as I had addressed the
envisioned Creative Cause of our species on the night of January 13-14, 1969. One of the first
philosophical experiments of this type I conducted was to envision myself responding to Paul
regarding what he had written in The King James version of I Corinthians 14:34-35 about the role
of women at church:
"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they
are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let
them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."
And how did I, a wife and mother, envision myself to be responding? Under the threat of dire
punishment, I would probably have chosen to keep silent. Such a threat would not, however, have
stilled my thoughts. Not at all. And most certainly, gender-exalting notions like the biased ones by
Paul would not have earned him my respect.
All biblical laws or commandments are of human composition, and hence not necessarily free
of flawed judgment and/or prejudicious intent. But regardless of what my past and present peers
would deem to be the moral law, it is my responsibility as an adult human being to reason for
myself about what is or is not a morally correct or appropriate choice.
As for how I actually responded, here is a quote of what I said in my imaginary rebuttal to Pauls

instruction in 1st Corinthians 14:34-35:
My sweetheart of a husband has lots of smarts, but he does not know everything there is to know
about every thing. No human being does. Talents are distributed over the entire species. Only by
an honest sharing of our respective individual knowledge or talents can we all grow in needed
wisdom or understanding about ourselves and other things of the cosmic world of which we are
indigenous members.
Whatever Pauls good intentions may have been, or how correct he presumed himself to be, I
do not accept his appraisal of a womans rights and status to be a substantiated conclusion. As
members of the human being species, we who are of the female gender have the same right to
freedom of speech and career development and other civic opportunities as do the members of the
male gender.
Whereas most of my pent-up hostility toward the biblical Paul of Tarsus was released during this
first "supposing" session, it was to be aroused anew when I later came across what was written in
chapter 2:11-14 of Timothy I ( Paul's first epistle to a man named Timothy) about the proper attire,
manner, and role of a woman , and why it should be as he said it should be:
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp
authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam
was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
As for those words of Paul about the origination of our species and first human sin, I would
now have this to say to him:
First of all, Mr. Paul, you do not know that the male human being was originated before the female
human being was. No human being witnessed the Creating of our species or any of the other parts
of the primary cosmic world.
And please keep in mind that the authors of the Torah and other books of the Jewish Bible were
mere mortals like you and me. For their sakes as well as ours, let us not treat them as objects of
worship or reverence (i.e., as idols).

It is our differencesnot our samenessthat can provide our sons and daughters with twice as
much representative guidance as they might receive if only one gender of us does the guiding and
instructing of them.
Moreover, the natural freedomsand hence natural rightsof a female human being are the same
as those of a male human being. Albeit the male human being is generally (but not always)
physically stronger than his female counterpart, physical prowess is no measure of a persons
absolute value. Regardless of our respective differing physical powers, the male human being is
neither naturally superior nor naturally inferior to the female human being. As I have said before
and will say again: By virtue of our species kind (creative mental powers), the male human being
and the female human being are of the same absolute natural status. The only life kind either of us
is naturally subservient to is the envisioned Almighty Infinite Creative Mental Power that originated
the primary cosmic world creations. Neither is your argument that the womans position should
be one of silent subservience to the man because it was a female human being who committed the
first idolatrous act a valid one. None of us knows which of the origin generation persons was first
to make some unholy choice. Mr. Adam had the same natural freedom as had, had Ms. Eve to
reject any thought or expressed proposition contrary to the seemingly good vibes of vuvh /the divine
spiritual presence within; but like his wife, he failed to do so. But for goodness sake, Mr. Paul
(and Mr. Timothy):
g the Genesis story about a first generation couple's idolatry is only an allegory!
What has been written about a prototype pair of first human beings has been written, but it
would have been far better for us all had the author of the Adam and Eve figure not dumped the
first sin and consequences of it on either gender of us. For a due question, where is the natural
evidence from which to suppose that all subsequent human beings are constantly subjected to having
to choose between comparatively righteous or fair choices and the adverse sinful or unfair ones
because of some choices made by a pair of our most ancient ancestors? If we did not have to
continually choose between thoughts or impulses of (a) bad or unfair kind and (b) those of
comparatively good or fair kind, we would be of animal kind, . . . and thus not be able to choose to
worship the unknown Omnipotent Creative Cause of our species. Think about that fact.
Whereas I shall consider what you and the other biblical authors have to say, I no longer attend
your propositions or narrations after an idolatrous manner. To say the least of the deed, making an
idol of a human being and/or a human beings sayings is a piteous waste of ones thought time.
To the envisioned Absolute or Almighty Infinite Mental Power I do submit myself in good faith
reverence, . . . and to that Creative Power alone!

Also, have you ever considered that your own most ancient paternal and maternal grandparents
were necessarily among those first generation men and women represented as the prototype pair
named Adam and Eve by the person who authored the Genesis allegory about the first human act
of idolatry? Think about them, your own most ancient kindred.
We who have been "born of woman"106 are different from the first generation of our species;
for it follows that:
g The first/origin generation of human being kind did not have any human parents.
For this reason and more, our most ancient paternal and maternal grandparents hold a special
position in the hierarchy of our parental ancestors. These first human beings are the only ones I
think of as Saints and Saintes. Therefore, I no longer refer to you or any other subsequent
generation person by the title of Saint (masculine) or Sainte (feminine).
_______
uring this interim period, I also chanced to find a set of
reasonably priced used "classics" while browsing among

the bookshelves of a used book store at the Wards Corner
section of Norfolk. Included among the 8-volume set was
one containing five of the Socratic dialogues: 107 "Apology,"
"Crito," "Phaedo," "Symposium" and "The Republic."
Another volume consisted of philosophical writings by
Aristotle on: "Metaphysics," "Parts of animals," "Ethics," "
Fig. 30. Photo by me.
Politics" and "Poetics."108 The set also included the

complete works of William Shakespeare.109 To my recollection, the only one of these three authors
I had previously read any of the works of was William Shakespeare. "Julius Caesar " was required
106
I.e., were begotten-conceived by pre-existing pairs of reproductively adult male and female human beings.
107
Plato: Five Great Dialogues. B. Jowett, Trans., Louise Ropes Loomis, edt. (Roslyn, NY: W alter J. Black,
Inc., 1942). FGD
108
Aristotle: On Man in the Universe. Louise Ropes Loomis, edt. (Roslyn, NY: Walter J. Black, Inc., 1943).
109
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Roslyn, NY: W alter J. Black, Inc., 1937). CW W S
OMU

reading in either my eleventh or twelfth grade English classes. I had not, however, read any of the
other plays accredited to this renowned English dramatist. To my surprise, I found "Measure for
Measure," "As You Like It, and "Alls Well that Ends Well" to be entertaining dramas.
After reading and rereading the 'simile of the cave' in chapter seven of "The Republic," I am still
inclined to think that the simile is drawn from Socrates' own experience with becoming aware of the
spiritual presence (conscience/holy spirit / vuvh) within his own mind. The heavenly state of mind
Grandpa Dick alluded to in his phrase heaven on earth, and the beatific vision alluded to by
Socrates on page 402 of Plato:The Five Great Dialogues are, I think, representative of the same
as fully-awakened mental state I experienced on January 14, 1969. In addition, there is the part on
pages 50-51 in "The Apology" dialogue where Socrates tells about having first experienced the
spiritual presence within when he was a child:
Someone may wonder why I go about in private giving advice and busying myself with the concerns
of others, but do not venture to come forward in public and advise the state. I will tell you why.
You have heard me speak at sundry times and in divers places of an oracle [i.e., vision] or sign which
comes to me, and is the divinity [divine presence?]which Meletus ridicules in the indictment. This
sign, which is a kind of voice, first began to come to me when I was a child; it always forbids but
never commands me to do anything which I am going to do.
Notice that Socrates is not reported to have said the oracle (i.e., vision) or sign was a voice; the
phrase used is: is a kind of voice. And for a Fact, g the spiritual presence is voiceless. It never
actually says, You shall not or ought not. . . .
To my surprise, Socrates recounted of interaction with this inner spiritual presence is very
similar to how I experience it. The as forbidding part is its so inhibiting utter silence. At the same
time, there is also the constant feeling that I am accepted even though my character and insight level
is never totally satisfactory. Could this sense of acceptance be what "state of grace" means? If so,
it must be because of the species each of us is of, for no human beings behavior is perfect.
Who does not lose patience, tire from always trying to reason out the best response, and
perhaps wonder if what one is trying to do will make any significant difference?

When such feelings come over me, I remind myself that Plato (and/or Socrates) made a big
difference in my life. Likewise, the set of ten ethical guidelines Moses struggled to put together also
made a big difference in my life. These two men also remind me that a person can stand alone, and
I am encouraged to not give up.
Before the spiritual happening, I had not been inclined toward philosophical pursuits. And why
not? For one thing, my educational background did not include any philosophical courses. While
I can recall having heard one or more persons mention:
The unexamined life is not worth living," I have no
recollection of ever having read or heard any explanation
given for what was meant by unexamined life. [I do now!]
Although my seventh grade civics textbook 110 shown at
right includes the classic Know thyselfand other
significant psychologically-related ideas in the opening
chapter message to the student, I do not recall this particular
expression having been elaborated upon in the classroom.
But inasmuch as the message to the student and its
associated diagram on page 3 of the book apply to each and
every one of us human beings, I am including a scanned
copy of Th e Individual illustration and adjoining message
from that book on the next page:
110
Fig. 31. Photo of the textbook by me.
Louise I. Capen and D. M ontefort Melchior, My Worth to the World: Studies in Citizenship. (New York:
American Book Company, 1937). MW W

1.You are an individual.
2. You have mind, or mental power.
3.You are a social individual or a member of
society.
4. You are a civic, or community individual.
5.You are entitled to local and national
citizenship.
6.You should aim to become a civic-minded
individual.
7.You are continually making the
Fig. 31.1. The Individual illustration. Credit: MWW.
acquaintance of many kinds of individuals,

among them the healthy individual, the thrifty
individual, the political individual, and the social cooperative individual.
8. You will come to realize that it is a wise thing to 'Know Thyself' .
At twelve years of age, I could not fully understand what was meant by Know Thyself. In fact,
I felt a little uncomfortable before the Thyself part. Yet, I also remember feeling more special while
viewing and reading the first few pages of the black and white illustrated book. With the aid of the
included diagram, I could easily visualize myself as one of the representative you (I ,me) dots in the
representation of humanity at-large.
We d o n e e d to focus upon the individual, for humanity is not composed of one kind of
personality. Not even monozygotic twins are identical personalities. As was noted on page four:
You would have to see all humanity to be able to realize how small a part you are of the sum total
of human beings. And yet there is nothing on earth more important than the individual person who
is one small mite of humanity. You, as an individual, are of interest to others because you are a
human being. No two persons are alike. Each has some quality or qualities that no one else
possesses; this gives a person what is called individuality.

Born of economically poor parents and residing under comparatively poor cultural conditions
for the first eleven years of my life, statements like those outlined in the opening message and
elsewhere in this book had a positive effect on me. If I were to address the authors of this book, it
would simply be to say: Thank you for helping me to give some thought to the innate worth of
myself, as well as that of others.
__________
efore the happening of the morning of January 14, 1969, I was so mesmerized by the biblical
authors fictionalized portrayal of the Almighty Thou and spiritual revelation, I was as the figurative
prisoners in the Socratic simile of the cave, where the truth would be literally nothing but the
shadows of the images. Although I have not yet figured out what Socrates meant by shadows,"
for me it has been unexamined or unproven words like: God, devil, Satan, Messiah/Christ, Hell,
heaven, angels, eternity, infinite, and immortal. So locked into the words was I that it was only
with much effort and near-continuous praying that I was eventually able to dislodge the words from
the apparent or probable things the words were used to represent in the Jewish and the Christian
biblical writings.
The main advantage of doing the I-to-author addressing or envisioning is that it helped me get
rid of the awe hangup so often associated with these ancient personalities. Although Socrates,
Moses, and all the other influential classical thinkers lived less than routine or laissez faire lives,
they were still just mere mortals like ourselves. So let us not stoop to exalt them.
I would also like to point out that "biblical prophecy" is not specific or detailed spiritual
foresight. Neither any man nor any woman can determine what another human being will choose
to do or say at some given future moment. Such make-believe dialogues are simply not fair.
Moreover, most--if not all--of the predications recounted of in the biblical narratives were made after
the fact, . . . and thus not actually foresight.
I was also pleasantly surprised to find that the meaning of some of the ancient Hebrew
expressions (and also the Greek ones) are not as mystical as I had once supposed them to be. This
became quite clear to me a few months ago while I was checking the meaning of the unfamiliar root
jan in the Exodus 29:7 statement about Aaron, brother of Moses, having been consecrated to serve
as high priest:
:u,t ,janu uatrkg ,emhu vjanv ina,t ,jeku

Then shalt thou take the anointing oil, and pour it upon his head, and anoint him.
The root meaning of jan is to rub with oil. Usually, the anointing is for religious purposes,
but anoint is all that ,jan means. In Exodus 31:1-6, two talented artisans: Bezaleel and Aholiab
are portrayed as having been selected by vuvh / the ( inner) divine presence) to do a certain part of
the construction work on the first portable temple (i.e., tabernacle) and its ritual objects:
1 And the LORD [divine presence] spoke unto Moses, saying:

2 'See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah;
3 and I have filled him with the spirit of God [Almighty Thou], in wisdom, and in understanding,
and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship,
4 to devise skillful works, to work in gold, and in silver, and in brass,
5 and in cutting of stones for setting, and in carving of wood, to work in all manner of workmanship.
6 And I, behold, I have appointed with him Oholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan; and
in the hearts of all that are wise-hearted I have put wisdom, that they may make all that I have
commanded thee.
However amazing or simple the talent(s) might be, we are born with them. The biblical
commentary on the artisans Bezaleel and Ahoiab is mi s repres ent at i ve drama.
I find it hard to believe that any person who had gone through the spiritual experience Moses is
reported to have gone through would ever have ever misrepresented vuvh/ the divine presence within
by ascribing speaking lines to it. Again, any use of the word I (or equivalent:
hfbt , hbt) for
referring to something other than one's own mind-body system, one's mind's I, or as the word under
discussion, is of fictional usage.

Each of the differing endowed natural talents distributed over our species is important, . . . and
like Hendy Van Dyke (1852-1933) noted:
" Use what talent you

possess: the woods would be
very silent if no birds sang there
except those what sang best."
And Death is a Destination

____________
Date:
February 14-15, 1969
Place: Family residence - outdoors and indoors
Visions: Fourfoldness, Mortal death, Immortal life
Time: 7:00 p.m., 02-14-69
ometime near dusk my fourteen-year-old son
David summoned me with: "Hey Mom, come look at
Fig. 32. My illustration of the fourfoldness vision.
this." As it turned out, what my son was seeing was

not what I saw when I stepped out into the east side yard where he was and looked up at what he was
pointing to. What I saw was a markedly different unusual cloud formation:
At first, it was an ordinary fluffy cumulus cloud with a big fat violet-pink four superimposed
in the middle of it. If that was not amazing enough, the fat four quickly changed into a fluffy
oval resembling a huge powder puff . . . and then faded away.
The numeral four was of the design shown in Fig. 32 rather than that of the typewriter
or keyboard four (4). Its appearance was as of cloud matter texture. Also, the sky was a
slightly lighter shade of sky blueon this day in 1969 than it appears to be in the above
background layer photograph taken by me.

Computer graphics software was used to draw the numeral and affix a cropped image of an
electronically tinted pinkish oval cloud upon a photo of real clouds taken by me. Since part of the
external scene was still visible, I was able to distinguish the vision part from the external cloud part
. . . once I developed the emotional stamina and courage to go back and try to do a detailed
evaluation of this phenomenal experience. As it was, that did not happen until the spring of 1996.
This vision was the first one I experienced that included objects changing form before
dissipating. Whereas some of the scenes that I experienced on January 14-15, 1969, implied motion
( as with Helen kicking up her heels, the bystanders clapping, and the can-can dancers' vision),
there had been no actual movement of any the vision parts. Those earlier visions consisted of still
scenes that simply appeared and disappeared.
I later heard and read that the tinted clouds which caught my sons attention this Valentines Day
afternoon were caused by chemicals in rockets launched from the Wallops Island NASA station near
our home. However, all of these reported sightings were of orange-colored clouds. Needless to
say, no one reported having seen a big fat violet-pink four in any of the clouds. [Of course, the
fluffy violet-pink numeral "four" and the oval fadeout were vision projections that originated from
within the involuntary part of my mind. ]
I also sought and obtained copies of the NASA News Release(s) about these chemical cloud
experiments. See endnote I for an OCR (optical character recognition) scanned copy of the NASA
News release about the experiments to be conducted on February 13-14, 1969.
The burning bush in Exodus 3:14 was this same type of vision scene; that is, what Moses
observed would have been a mix of a real externally located bush or shrub plus a superimposed
inner vision scene. In the biblical case, the vision part was the flame. And as previously stated,
I suspect the messenger (angel) part of the narrative was a personification of the story-tellers
surmised cause of the projected inner involuntary flame vision.

Time: Sometime between 2:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. of 02-15-69
ody chilling, I snapped awake. It was as if my body was chilling from inside outward.
Straightway, I recalled the morning of January 14, 1969, and told myself to be brave, be strong;
for it did appear this might actually be my last moments of mortal life. No, I could not avoid
wondering if my body might not be in the immediate process of dying. Never before had I ever felt
this kind of chilling.
I observed a light coming through a crack in the curtains at the double window on the south side
wall of the bedroom I shared with my husband. There was a street lamp a block over. The beam of
light coming in through the window could be seen upon the closet doors on the opposite inside wall
of the bedroom. This is when I began remembering "entropy" (the natural progressive disordering,
running down, decaying, etc. of nature things).
After examining the light, I turned to position myself face down on the bed. That's when I
noticed:
Sounds like that which might be made by a big dynamo were running in my scull. It was as
if the brain was vibrating fluid sound waves. I was cold and scared.
Turning front-side up, I pulled the quilt up over my head to warm me and shut out the
light. But lo and behold, there appeared a rectangular light panel of about 10
x 24 inches against the underside of the quilt. The top of the panel of light
was tilted toward the front double window in an angle somewhat like that of
the drawing at left. Of course, the real color of the light cannot be sketched.
As with the other visions I experienced, this one was of very, very brief
duration.
Fig.33.
Drawing by
me.
Next, I became focused upon the single window along the east wall of
the room near the head of my bed, and began thinking about what might be
out there beyond the edge of the detectable cosmic world. Thats when there

appeared before my inner viewing minds I a pleasant vision
of a spray of pastel rainbow colors 111 like those in the image
at rightbut with a sheer overlay of gold and silver showers
streaming down from a single star flash nearly out of my
uppermost inner vision range. Along with it was the vivid
impression of a waterfall behind the spray, . . . and the
thought of eternity as existing behind the background
waterfall (which did not include any surrounding foliage).
The spray was of a fan-shape like that depicted in my
hand-drawing. But neither my crude illustration of the spray
nor the modified photograph of a waterfall can begin to
illustrate what the wondrous vision was like, or how I felt
while observing this enchanting shimmering scene.
Fig. 33.1. The upper half

illustration is by me; the
lower half is my modified
version of green-mountainwaterfall.jpg. The original
waterfall photo was the
co urtesy of Roman Rusavsky.
While observing this vision, I thought of immortality (everlasting life). However, the
dominant speculative thought that came to mind on this night--after the wonder if I might be in the
immediate process of dying--was what my young children might have to contend with after they
came into the bedroom the next morning and found my corpse. I could just imagine all the pious
talk about "her messy house and like remarks, and how it would embarrass my sons and daughters
and cause them to feel ashamed of me. If only they knew the truth of why I was so crunched for
time, was no longer keeping a neat and tidy house.
As I lay there wondering . . . , I then began to think about how really great the earth is, and how
I would so hate to leave it and familiar mortal human life.
Sometime after the rainbow-tinted spray and waterfall vision appeared, my body began to warm
up and I drifted off to sleep.
_____________
111
of the same color group as the pastel rainbow writing pad I received at my 6-year old birthday party (and
as shown in the added insert). The basic cascade spray sketch was done a few days after this happening.
Epilogue
he vision of the 14th?
With the passing of time and improved health conditions, I gradually come to recognize that four
is a very significant nature quantity.
For starters, each of us has exactly four biological
grandparents: two paternal & two maternal. There also are, or are presumed be:
a. Four basic human blood types: A, B, AB, and O.

b. Four basic races: Negroid, Mongoloid, Ameroid, and Caucasoid.
c. Four differing bases in human DNA: Cytosine, Adenine, Thymine, and Guanine.
d. Four chambers to the human heart: a right atria, a left atria, a right ventricle, and a
left ventricle.
e. Four distinct surface lobes to the cerebral cortex of our brain: the Frontal lobe, the
Temporal lobe, the Parietal lobe, and the Occipital lobe.
f.
Four differing atoms (Hydrogen, Carbon, Nitrogen, and Oxygen) constitute 96.3%
of the human body's weight.
g. Four differing types of living things on earth: species of plant kind, species of
bacteria kind, species of animal kind, and the human being species.
h. Four differing states of atomic matter: solid, liquid, gas, and plasma.
i.
Four quadrants to the planet earth: North, East, South, and West.
j.
Four solar-based seasons:: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter.
k. Four weeks (seven-day segments) in a lunar month.
The visions of February 15?

Frankly, I have no idea what the light panel might have been representative of. Perhaps it was
merely a prelude to the vision of the cooling down body, and what appeared to be physical death
throes or spasms.
Obviously, the hunch that my mortal death was in the process of occurring was wrong. But
when you get a physiological vision of your organic body engine sounding like it is about to fall
apart, you do pay attention__especially if you never have experienced anything like it before. What

this vision moved me to do for the first time in my life was to momentarily grasp the stark truth
that one day my mortal life would actually end. It was shocking. On January 15, 1969, I had
thought about my impending death from a nuclear attack, but only as a possibility. What I was
having to consider on this night in February 1969 was the real inevitable mortal end that will occur.
Never before had I ever imagined myself in the actual process of physically dying.
But as it happened, the cold struggling body and dynamo vision was quickly followed by the
rainbow spray, waterfall, and impression of an eternal place. Thus, I was moved to have to think
about more life--an everlasting life of unknown quality kind. In a way, that is more scary than the
thought of no immortal life.
Incidentally, I was thinking upward in the direction of the North star when I raised the question
about whats beyond the edge of the cosmic system, . . . and the vision began to occur. I now
wonder if that might be why there was a star image at the top of the spray vision?
As a follow-up, let us hypothetically suppose that immortal or everlasting spiritual life does follow
upon the death of the human body, and that the ultimate question might be of the order:
What was life on earth like for you"?

How would you respond? Take the fifth112? I suppose one could. But seriously, death is our
common unavoidable destination. And since there is no proof that we mental souls die
when the body part dies, this is not a frivolous question.
Although many do survive to reach the senior citizen stage, old age is not a guaranteed
phase of mortal life. Death of the oxygen-dependent finite body can occur anytime after the
first gulp of the earths life-supporting oxidizing atmosphere. Is the mortal death our
ultimate or final destiny? Is this mixture of as heavenly and hellish life on earth in universal
cosmic space all there is for us?
In his memorial composition, Alvin Fine proposes that our ultimate or final destination is life
everlasting. Why did he assume so? What evidence is there in involuntary nature that mortal life
112
E.g., I refuse to answer on the grounds that the testimony might tend to incriminate me.

is as a prelude to immortal life? Albeit visions are natural involuntary projections, I do not interpret
the ones I experienced on this date in 1969 to be proof that we inner souls do live on when the body
part dies. As previously noted, I consider visions to be thematic clues of things that the person in
whose mind they are occurring would greatly benefit from pausing to think about.
But there is a phenomenon which does indicate that under certain conditions the mental self can
rise above the physical body and look down upon it. However, I do not recall ever having heard
of or read anything about these so-called near-death experiences before the latter part of the
1990s. Thus, the vision I experienced in February 1969 was not influenced by any conscious
memory images of speeches or writings about NDEs. But if the reports I have since read are accurate
(and most appear to be), the mental self does not shut down at the same time the body clinically
does. Perhaps the mind part never stops existing. Since all of these people who underwent neardeath experiences were not fully dead , we have no way of knowing what would have continued to
happen to them had they never become resuscitated.
See Ref #021569 in The Appendix for an overview of some of the common aspects of NDE
phenomena. A few of the lists (or parts of ) correspond to some aspects of the spiritual phenomena
I underwent between January 14, 1969, and mid-July 1970.
I have since come across an article in the August 2003 issue of Readers Digest on NDEs and
the question of an afterlife, or survival of the human soul. Under the section of the article entitled
"Reality or Illusion?" on page 124, the author Anita Bartholomew states:
The conventional medical explanation was hallucination, brought on by changes in the dying brain.
Yet there was a problem with this interpretation. Such hallucinations could only occur if the brain
maintained some function. Once flatlined, the brain would be roughly analogous to a computer
with power source unplugged and its circuits detached. It couldnt hallucinate; it couldnt do
anything at all.
That apparent paradoxthat perceptions occur during NDEs when there is no functioning brain
through which to perceive themhas scientists, theologians and ordinary folks groping for answers.
ENDNOTES
I.
NEWS RELEASE
NATIONAL AERONAUTICS AND SPACE ADMINISTRATION
WALLOPS STATION, WALLOPS ISLAND, VIRGINIA 23337
TELEPHONE: VALLEY 4-3411 - EXITS. 584 and 579
FOR RELEASE: FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1969
Release No. 69-5
WALLOPS LAUNCHES 13 EXPERIMENTS

IN A 12-HOUR PERIOD
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration conducted seven

chemical cloud experiment: between sunset last night and dawn today
from its Wallops Island, Virginia, Station.
Liftoff times were 6:11 p.m., 8:00 p.m., 10:19 p.m.,
12:00 p.m. (midnight), 2:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., and 6:13 a.m.
Two-stage sounding rockets were used to carry these chemical
payloads -- a Nike-Tomahawk for the first and Nike-Apaches for the
other six launches.
Two different chemicals--soidum [sp113] and trimethylaluminum
(TMA)--were used in this series to continue the study of wind
structure in the upper atmosphere a region from around 50 statute
miles up to 186 miles. Data on wind conditions were obtained by
113
Sodium

photographing the motion of the trails from five camera sites
within a 100-mile radius of Wallops Island. Similar tests were
conducted here last February.
The dusk and dawn firings were sodium vapor experiments which
generated reddish - orange clouds visible for hundreds of miles
along the East Coast. Reports of sightings were received from
Pennsylvania. Connecticut, Tennessee, and Indiana. The other five
payloads consisted of trimethylaluminum (TMA) which formed pale
white clouds, less visible than the sodium.
In conjunction with the vapor series, the U. S. Army Ballistics
Laboratory, Aberdeen, Maryland, fired six cesium experiments from
Wallops in a comparative study of winds.
The cesium was carried in projectiles fired from a 7-inch gun
barrel to an altitude of 330,000 feet. Liftoff times were 8:07
p.m., 10:24 p.m., 12:05 a.m., 2:05 a.m., 4:10 a.m., and 6:23 a.m.
Three of these experiments were unsuccessful because the chemical
was not ejected. Dispersion of the cesium, not visible to the
unaided eye, is recorded by ground-based radar and Ionospheric
Sounding Stations.
The
launchings
Corporation,
were
Bedford,
conducted
in
Massachusetts,
cooperation
under
with
contract
the
to
GCA
NASAS
Goddard Space Flight Center, Greenbelt, Maryland.

E. Benjamin Jackson was the Wallops Station Project Engineer,
responsible
for
coordinating
pre-launch,
operations.
###
launch,
and
tracking
A GoingA Growing
____________
Date in Re: February 24 or 25, 1969

Time(s): About 4:30 p.m. and 6:00 p.m.
Site:
Backyard and kitchen
About 4:30 p.m.
tepping through the opening of the sliding glass
Fig. 34. Crop of mist over lake, a photo courtesy

of Mangus Rosenthal.
doors that led from the dining room onto the small
outdoor patio, I proceeded on down into the backyard. Glancing left, I lifted my eyes upward in
the direction of the afternoon sun in the southwestern part of the sky
Immediately, I saw the center of the sun as white light. Spreading out from the center were
reddish-gold flaming edges. To my recollection, I had never been able to look directly at the sun
before. On this day, the background sky was a pale blue.
Walking further out into the yard, I then spotted a gleaming silver-colored jet airplane high up
in the sky. It was flying in a southern
direction. How tiny it appeared to be.
That aircraft was so far above the
earths surface, I could not hear the
sound of its engines. It was the
Fig. 34.1. Background sky with contrail by me; Jet photo (without lens flare)
courtesy of Keith Robinson.
afternoon sunlight reflecting off the

nosecone of that slender plane that got
my attention. From my position, the flash of reflected sunlight was likened to a twinkling goldcolored star.

Iridescence
A little later, my five-year-old daughter Anne and I walked down to the boat pier. Theres oil
on the water," she said. Glancing in the direction she was pointing,
I could see she was correct. There was the iridescence peculiar to
the mix of oil and water (likened to that in the photo at right) on the
water beside the pier. Most probably someone had spilled some oil
while putting it in an outboard motor. I had seen this phenomenon
many, many times before. However, I had never before noticed that
fuel oil on water produces rainbow-like colors. For one thing, the
Fig.35. Oil & Water photo courtesy of

Alan (a.k.a. Monkeyiron).
oil and water variety of iridescence is not as pretty as the colors of rainbow arcs in the sky are. The
main reason, however, for not noticing before is because my observing had been of a casual or
skimming rather than a consciously focused manner. When I used to espy the as telltale
iridescence of gas spilled on water, my thought was about the same as young Annes: "Theres oil
on the water. Gas spills were so common along the Mathews County waterfront where I resided
during my teen years they did not arouse my curiosity.
What followed next was more than just a little

interesting, . . . for when I raised my head from peering
down at the oil spill effects upon the salty creek water,
there was a flash. Immediately following the flash, I
observed iridescent bubbles (likened to those produced
from childrens commercial bubble-blowing solution )
forming and popping and reforming and popping at a
distance of about four feet from my face. What I saw Fig. 35.1 Image courtesy of Bonnie Banks
had the natural blue sky with clouds overhead in front and Don Bailey at www.hobbyscience.com.
of me as the background, but the bubbles that were
appearing were identical in appearance with the ones in the above photo image.
When Anne and I turned around and started toward the house, I observed the same
iridescent coloring along the outermost edges of the backyard pine tree needles. The
outermost leaves of the two gnarled live oak trees in our backyard were also seen as having

the iridescent fringing, but not as intensified as the needles of the pine trees.
Fig. 36. While the iridescence is not shown, this image by

me is of the pine trees near shore w/ needles' close-up
insert.
Fig. 36.1. No iridescence is shown here, but this image by

me is of the live oak near shore w/ leaves' close-up insert.
Daytime Moon?
Nearing the house, I looked up over the rooftop in the direction of the southeastern part of the
sky, . . . and lo and behold, there was the moon. The three older
children had returned home from school, and I hastened to call them
out to witness this natural wonder. After a polite but seemingly
disinterested look, they hurried on back into the house. To be sure,
a person does not have to almost die (or think he or she is dying) in
order to become fully cognizant of how positively wondrous or
absolutely extraordinary the natural creations are!
Considering all the time I spent in the rural outdoors during the
first eighteen years of my life, why was I surprised and a bit awed
36.2. Photo-taken in Thomaston, GA
is courtesy of Jared Z. Holloway,
http://jzholloway.wordpress.org.
to see the rising moon during the daytime?
For one highly
influential thing, my minds I had been conditioned from early

childhood to think of the moon according to the biblical description
of it. And according to the author of Genesis 1:16, God [ The Almighty Creative Power] made two
great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night . . . . Hence, it was

my force-of-habit thinking to not expect the moon to be in the sky at the same time the sun was
visible.
g Oh, how our formative years' experiences impact our adulthood expectations! Indeed, it would
take me quite a while to fully de-mesmerize my psyche of the biblical fictionalized depictions of
(a) the Almighty Creative Cause and (b) the nature of the natural cosmic world acquired during my
growing-up years.
Jet contrails, and their effect on the earths life-supporting atmosphere?

While I was standing there pondering the daytime
moon, a whole batch of jets showed up. I do not
know whether it was one of the military stunt groups
(e.g., flying blue angels," thunderbirds) or not,
but these pilots would steer their jets toward each
other, and then fan out at the last minute before a
head-on collision. This daring maneuver was
Fig. 37. Photo of thunderbirds maneuver is by US Air
Force Staff Sgt. Mike Meares.
repeated again and again. As I recall, the drill went

on for a considerable length of time. The old man
who was hoeing in his vegetable garden next door paused and voiced his concern about the jets and
weather testing rockets of February 14 messing up the atmosphere (and thus the very air we
breathe). I tried to reassure him that involuntary nature kept things in order. Yet, I also wondered
about the harmful effects of aviation waste fuels and atomic bombs' radioactive waste material upon
the global air we breathe__b e c a u s e :
The contrails I was mentally perceiving at the time were of the same yucky salmon-pink hue as had
been the suns rays in my hallway on the morning of
January 15, 1969. Could the air actually be that polluted?
When the jet pilots had finished their exercises, the sky
overhead was so-laced with those salmon toned vapor cloud
trails that the area resembled a fat pumpkin or a similarly
intersticed large cantaloupe. It was a disturbing scene.
Fig. 37.1. Tinted image by me.
In truth, what effect did all the nuclear testing have upon the earths life-supporting atmosphere?
Like the rest of us mortals, scientists are not always explicitly honest about the possible adverse
effects of their experiments or tests. Also, there are times when they simply cannot predetermine
the consequences. For instance, was anything reported about possibly dying of radiation sickness
from nuclear fallout before the newly developed atomic bomb was dropped over the Japanese cities
of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in August 1945?
Where I grew up, the only human-made thing you might see in the upper sky overhead would be a
kite or a propeller-driven airplane. Of course, there were places in Europe and Asia during the
same time period (1932 -1950) where the sky overhead was not so pristine and peaceful as it usually
was in the remote small peninsula county where I was born and resided for the first eighteen and
one-half years of my life
The old man and I did not compare our sightings. But there is no reason for me to think that he
saw the vapor or condensation trails to be of the same tinted hue as I did. Like the yucky salmontoned pink cast I saw upon the sun rays
of the morning of January 15, 1969,
those seen by me on this date were
pictorial vision overlays projected
from somewhere within my mind. Jet
vapor trails are of a white cloud color.
In fact, they so closely resemble
normal cloud stuff it would be very
hard for a young child to distinguish
the one from the other when these
aircraft contrails trails are breaking up.
Fig.38. 2001 photo of jet contrails taken by me in front yard of my house.
Although of adult mind, it took me a little while to be able to distinguish white jet vapor trails from
real cirrus white clouds, especially when the vapor trails are spreading out and dissipating.

As it turned out, my suspicions about the possible negative effects of jet vapor trails in 1969 had
some merit. For according to what is stated in "Behind the Contrail Curtain,"114an article by
journalist Jim Scanlon, the heavy jet air traffic is producing undesirable effects in the earths
atmospheric climate. See excerpt below:
Researchers from NASA's Langley Research Center presented evidence that contrails are
contributing to global warming and causing local effects over areas with heavy air traffic. In April
1996, they found contrails over New York during 40 percent of the month. Above Arizona,
contrails appeared during 30 percent of the month. They concluded that vapor trails are a prevalent
feature over US skies and that these trails will 'affect the radiation budget at some magnitude.' The
researchers also recommended that contrail reporting become part of standard meteorological
practices, with measurements repeated every few years to assess the effects of increasing air traffic.
114
See item #022469 in The Appendix for a copy of whole downloaded article, plus one by Sid Perkins
on the same subject.

About 6:00 p.m.
Standing at the kitchen sink, I closed my eyelids to rest my eyes for a moment. To my shock
and utter amazement__ one by one, the following sequence of forms and motions began to appear
before my minds I:
Fig. 39. Illustration by me.
1st A speck is visible in the upper left corner of my darkened viewing range. Within a second
or two, it appears as
2nd a whole gold-yellow sphere. Then it becomes as if
3rd a tri-bulging shaped sphere after the pattern of a cloverleaf dinner roll. Holding that
shape for about the same length of time as had the single sphere, it then turns into
4th an oval shaped figure before decreasing to
5th a mere fragment of the starting sphere which fades out slightly upward and out of viewing
range. Near instantly,
6th a partly distinct sphere appears high up just a bit to the right of my nose line. Even as I
was straining to focus upon that small faint object, there appeared
7th a blacker-than-black, black hole with a beautiful shade of cerulean or azure blue corona
fringe around it . . . , and dashing through the hole came
8th a comet-shaped sphere of the same color and near-same size as the original starter sphere.
This comet-like thing was heading straight toward the lower center part of my viewing range
(and nose), . . . and I blinked open my eyelids.

When the black hole appeared, I immediately thought of an article I had seen in a World
Book publication about celestial black holes.115 But I stopped short of trying to figure out what the
author was actually referring to by the illustrations of a collapsing star disappearing through a black
hole in the universe sector of infinite space. Apart from the fact that the black hole I saw in the
vision was blacker than the background blackness within my eyelids, I really did not associate the
peculiarities of a collapsing star and the theoretical cosmic black hole to the black hole I had just
observed within the darkness of my closed eyelids.
For one thing, there was the beautiful colored cerulean blue corona around the black holein
the vision. Although of an entirely different color, its shape was like that of the reddish gold
flaming edges that encircled the white light center of the late afternoon sun.
This particular vision116 was emotionally straining.
Whatever the total contributing causes behind this involuntary scenic show, nothing similar to
it has ever appeared again.117 I was to experience more visions, but none of a sphere going through
various changes to finally pass through a beautifully fringed black hole after the manner of a
speeding cosmic comet. This whole moving scene was most unique, especially the blacker-thanblack "black hole."
Some of this in-motion vision scene could have been caused from my having looked at the sun
directly. But the pattern? And the definite "hole"? Could it perhaps be representative of the steps
of a thought process? Memories are of both still and moving things. Albeit the information was
already in mind from which to discern this truth, I had not yet recognized that my mental self/psyche
is made up of both: (1) a conscious level I voluntary controlling part and (2) a subconscious level
involuntary active part.
115
Kip S. Thorne, The Death of a Star., Science Year: the World Book Science Annual, 1968, ( Chicago,
IL: Field Enterprises Educational Corporation, ) 70-85. W BSA68.
116
W hereas my sketch on the previous page is a very close likeness, none of the photographs or photo plus
electronic sketches in this entry are as mirror images of the vision scenes I observed and have recounted of here.
They just happen to be the closest likenesses I have found or can construct.
117
Actually, none of the visions were duplicates. Like the series involving iridescence, some consisted of
variations of the same theme. But no single vision scene was repeated.

When I tried to look directly at the sun on the afternoon of May 27, 1969, I could no longer
focus upon it without blinking. In my brief note for that date, I wrote:
In the family backyard with husband, sons and daughters . . . can no longer look at sun without
blinking.
On several occasions since I began work on this treatise in the spring of 1996, I have tried to
look at the white light of the sun in the afternoon part of the day. In each instance, a strained rapid
glimpse was all I could tolerate. Upon quickly closing my eyelids, I would then see a few
nondescript blobs of faintly yellowish light that slowly faded out and dissipated to leave me viewing
nothing but darkness behind my closed eyelids. In contrast, all the sun-associated (and other)
vision scenes or impressions I experienced between January 14, 1969, and July 14-15, 1970, were
thematically graphic scenes of very, very brief duration.
Of all the iridescence scenes I observed this day, only the one of oil on the creek water was an
ordinary one. Although the iridescent bubbles appeared to be part of the nearby atmosphere and the
iridescent fringing part of the backyard trees, it was only because they were in-between my inner
viewing minds I and the external environment. Since my eyelids were closed during the time of
this last vision of the day, the inside of my eyelids was the background. Like the movie reel films
or slides inside the projector machine, neither still nor moving vision scenes actually leave the
hidden observers mind.
__________
Epilogue
s previously explained, one major reason for not consciously noticing the daytime moon before
was that I d i d n o t e x p e c t it to be visible during the daylight hours. That is how stunted or as
spellbound my psychological mind-set was! Where I was born and reared between 1932 and 1950,
the King James Bible was the main literary reference referred to when accounting for natural

phenomena. To my recollection, I received no instruction during my twelve years of public
schooling on either the Atomic Theory or the Theory of Organic Evolution. For a fact, the only
science course I was required to take for graduation from high school dealt with human inventions
like the radio, record player, telephone, telegraph, incandescent light bulb, etc., and combustion
engines. Other than the story about Mr. Ben Franklin and his kite and key experiment with natural
electricity, there was nothing special in my high school science textbook about the physics of the
primary natural creations.
Although I was as awe-struck by the suns light rays coming into the living room glass picture
window during midday of January 14, 1969, and puzzled by the yucky pinkish tint of the early
morning sun rays coming down the hallway the next morning, this day was my first time of
c h o o s i n g to inspect the sun. As previously mentioned, I had hitherto been inclined against
independent investigation of the bible themes and science themes lest I be considered guilty of as
poaching on the territoryof the religious and science professionals. Well, things were different
now. I was no longer thinking of myself as an interloper. Indeed not! Like every other adult or
near-adult human being, I was at liberty to think for myself about the world I am of and in.
Moreover, it would be irresponsible of me not to do so!
But on this day in 1969, I was only a few weeks into the psychologically challenging and
intellectually laborious process of de-mesmerizing myself of the faulty perceptions derived from the
biblical authors fictionalized accounts about natural phenomena. The writings of scientists had not
been a major psychological barrier for me. Although figurative speech was sometimes used, the
authors of the scientific and philosophical writings I reviewed did not present their theories or
interpretations about the origination of the primary world and subsequent involuntary natural events
as hav i n g i ns t ead come from either (1) the unknown Almighty Thou or (2) the conscience/holy
spirit__like the biblical authors did.
There is no new thing under the sun has been a popular quote with some. But for me, the
assertion seemed to be directed toward squelching the thoughts or questions of the uninitiated. After

checking the context from which the above excerpt is taken 118, I find that the author appears to have
meant that involuntary nature can be relied upon to not deviate from its patterns__is dependable or
trustworthy. If that was the author's intent, I agree.
As it happens, the biblical chapter was closed with an admonishment about seeking too much
understanding or wisdom:
For in much wisdom is much grief, and he [or she] that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
Could be, but ignorance is a thousand times worse. Ignorance keeps us fearful, and fear keeps
us ignorant!
Whereas the laws of nature do not change, there are always some new things under the sun.
Continually remind yourself(s) that for the recently birthed child, everything under the sun is new.
The babies coming into breathing existence at this moment have yet to discover the sun, the earths
moon, the stars, and other fascinating celestial entities. And oh how important those
FIRSTS
or
without-precedent experiences are!

Will these children grow up to someday stand in their yards and likewise be shocked to see their
home planets satellite moon visible during the time between the rising and setting of the sun? I
sincerely hope not.
118
"That which hath been is that which shall be, and that which hath been done is that which shall be done;
and there is nothing new under the sun. " (Ecclesiastes 1:9)
Natures Electrical Power

____________
Fig. 40. Crop of lightning photo by Floyd Menagh, www.crh.nooa.gov.
Date in Re: April 2, 1969

Site:
Dining room sliding glass doors to backyard
Event:
Thunder and lightning storm
eated at a small table in the left corner of the dining room, I was typing away on one theme or
another. A thunder n lightning" storm was occurring outside. Every so often I would notice a
flash of light and the clash of thunder that followed shortly after, but I did not actually look up at
the lightning streaks. Suddenly, a big red flash about the size of an official softball went off just
outside the sliding glass door near where I was seated. It appeared to be at about 20-24 inches from
my face. In the middle of typing a sentence, I silently quipped, Cut it out; I am busy. But wow,
that red flash did get my attention!

Later, it bothered me a bit that my quip might have been unbecomingly impertinent.119
Electrical storms are vibrant, dynamic, exhilarating, and exciting things to watch. But before
this transcendent happening, I had not been in the habit of looking very closely at thunder and
lightning storms. This standoff position was, I think, partly due to my rearing. As a child, my
experience with natural electricity had been to hunker down with near-bowed head during these
phenomenal summertime events, because:
My paternal grandmother (LetheAnn German Hugate) would not let us grandchildren remain
outdoors during an electrical storm. Whenever a storm would begin, she would make us come
inside, sit down on the floor in the parlor, and keep quiet. Then Grandma Annie would generate
more mystique to what was happening outside by pulling down the dark shades at the parlor
windows. It was almost an act of reverence or submission before The Almighty Power presumed
to have created such an awesome intermittently occurring involuntarily natural phenomenon.
At first, I thought the red flash I saw was a vision. Since then, I have learned that red flashes
sometimes actually occur during an electrical storm. For example, lightning struck a big tree in the
front yard of my daughter Anne and her family in late spring of 1997. Strips of bark were ripped
from various sides of the tree. Some chunks of the wood smashed against the house and broke a
window pane. Anne also reported seeing big balls of fire during the stormy event. As it had been
with me, Anne was inside the house when the bolts appeared close to her.
World Book:Millennium 2000 120 contains the following information on lightning bolts:
A form of lightning called "ball lightning" differs greatly from ordinary lightning. Ball lightning
appears as a glowing, fiery ball that floats for several seconds before disappearing. It has reportedly
been seen during thunderstorms, usually after ordinary lightning has occurred. It is described as a
red, yellow, or orange ball that may be as large as a grapefruit. It has been reported floating along
the ground and inside houses, barns, and airplanes. No one knows how or why ball lightning occurs,
or what it consists of.
119
I had not yet clarified the necessary difference between the unknown Almighty Thou and the projected
vision of a hovered presence that I had experienced for a very brief moment on the morning of January 14, 1969.
120
Deluxe edition, CD-ROM. (W orld Book, Inc. and its licensors, 1999). W B-00

I have also read that lightning has important positive effects on the growth of plant life:
Lightning produces significant chemical changes in the atmosphere. As a stroke moves through the
air, it generates tremendous heat that unites nitrogen and oxygen to form nitrates and other
compounds. These compounds fall to the Earth with the rain. In this way, the atmosphere is able
continually to help replenish the supply of nutrients that soil needs to produce plants. 121
Isn't that neat! Electrical storms both frighten and delight me. Although potentially dangerous,
all that power and beauty combined is awesome! Yes, something can be dangerous and still be
beautiful. Look at the lion, tiger, panther. While I would not want to come face to face with either
one of those wild ones, these particular "wild cats" are beautiful beasts.
But on this day in 1969, I was not exactly comfortable with the red ball that flashed so close
to the glass door in front of which I was seated. I quickly put it aside. My knowledge on this date
did not include any information on "ball lightning."
In the aftermath of a summer electrical storm, the net
effect can be refreshing. Based on my eyesight, the dome of
sky/atmosphere above the earth appears to be cleaner and
clearer after a summertime electrical storm. It really does.
Sometimes there is another plus to follow after all the
thunder and lightening and downpour of rain showers has
subsided--a rainbow. Occasionally, there are two of them, a
double rainbow. But as it happened, no rainbow was
visible within my viewing range on this day.
While I was watching and listening to this natural

involuntary happening dubbed thunder n lightning in April
Fig. 41. Double rainbow, www.usbr.gov.
1969, I tended to think of masculinity. During a b i g full
121
Comptons Encyclopedia 2000, CD-ROM. (Novata, CA: The Learning Company, 1999). CE-00

moon event that occurred in early spring of the next year, the opposite feeling came over me; that
is, I thought of femininity.
Then there is what I recall having read about Mr. Benjamin Franklin and his kite and key
experiment in Encarta122:
Franklin demonstrated that lightning is a form of electricity. In 1752 he constructed a kite

and flew it during a storm. When the string became wet enough to conduct, Franklin, who
stood under a shed and held the string by a dry silk cord, put his hand near a metal key
attached to the string. A spark jumped. Electric charge gathered by the kite had flowed
down the wet string to the key and then jumped across an air gap to flow to the ground
through Franklins body. . . .
122
ERL-04
'From Joy to Gratitude

____________
Fig. 42. Composite image made from two photos taken by me.
Date in Re: May 27, 1969

Site:
Family yard
Time:
3:35 p. m.
alking around in the backyard on this warm spring afternoon, I suddenly began to get the
impression that a separation was occurring between me and the . . . to which I had subjugated my
conscious voluntary level will on the morning of January 14, 1969. My fumbling and silently

expressed reaction to this sensation of a less restricted or more regular conscious level mental liberty
was as follows
Oh my God [Almighty Thou], how close we came to no knowledge of the world. Even
as the sun sets in the west, it also rises in the east. Every day is a sun day, isnt it? . . . We
are back in line.
Again, I selected the wrong word for the envisioned unknown source to which I was prayerfully
addressing myself. As to the use of we," I was also thinking of all other persons who had become
so mesmerized or spellbound by the biblical narrations about the Creative Cause of the natural
primary world (and hence the laws of involuntary nature), they could not readily grasp the
significant difference between the word Sunday and the word Sabbath.
To me, it was a wonderful relief to suddenly recognize the day named Sunday is like every other
day of the week; that is to say, Sunday and Sabbath
are not synonyms. Sunday is the name of one day in
a sequence of seven consecutive solar days. Sabbath
is the name of a day which some people have set apart
for rest and/or for religious commemoration. Any
day can be designated as a Sabbath. And whether
cloudy of clear, visible or invisible, every day is a dayof-sun (Sunday).
Fig. 43. Crop of a photo by Kim McLead.www.sxc.hu.
I have also since learned that Sabbath is an English

derivative of the ancient Hebrew noun: ,Ca (pronounced Shabbat). ,Ca comes from the
verbal root ,ca, i.e., cease, desist, rest. But regardless of its purpose, every Sabbath holiday is
of human establishment and classification.
For me, this stark clarification of the meaning of the words sabbath and Sunday was a major mental
step toward eventually recognizing that a l l wo rd s a r e s e p a r a t e f ro m t h e r e a l i t ie s t h e y n a me
o r a r e u s e d t o r e p r e s e n t . Even as I exist independent of my social security number, my
memory images of the sun also exist independent of the word sun.

Sun is but one of the many, many differing names that differing people have created for naming
the celestial energy source that provides both direct and indirect (via the moons surface) light upon
the earth. The Hebrew name for this primary celestial light and heat energy source is ana
(shemesh). If ana, sun, and all the other names given to the previously-pictured celestial object
were to suddenly cease to exist, this natural celestial object would not be affected in any way
whatsoever. Named or unnamed, this primary celestial entity keeps on radiating.
Another noteworthy thing about this day was the change in my inner minds I vision concerning
sunlight. On this day in May 1969, the rays of the sun were perceived as back to normal. Never
again was I to perceive any scenes of the suns rays tinged a yucky salmon pink like I had on the
morning of January 15, 1969, and the afternoon of February 24, 1969.
My remark: no knowledge of the world may have had something to do with my deep-down
fear about an atomic doomsday disaster. It could also be related to the fact that when I had presented
my prayer on the night of January 13-14, 1969, future life on earth had seemed bleak and without
much promise. Now it was different. Whereas I had no specific lofty or idealistic expectations, I
was beginning to delight in common everyday natural wonders like bright sunshine and clouds and
birds and flowers. As with our natural unadorned selves, these things of nature a r e extraordinary!
Was not the pristine natural cosmic world a Supernal marvel?
On this day, I could once again experience the world I am of as beautiful. The clear wide
expanse overhead was splendid with its blue background and pearly white sweeping clouds. Never
before had I noticed how convex-shaped and b i g or far-reaching the atmospheric dome above the
earths surface is. The sunshine was bright and clear, and the roses blanketing the mesh anchor fence
between my elderly neighbor and me did not separate us.
Looking upward, the old man tending his garden on the other side of the fence noted: Geese
fly with the wind. He was not trying to be poetic, merely state what he considered to be a truism
about the involuntary nature of wild geese.
*
My initial feeling of having returned, as I put it, to the living (less compressed state of
mind) made me less afraid. Fears all gone and soul at peace, I said. This hasty conclusion,
however, was immediately followed with the correction: Not so, am scared in my boots of
dying.
Thenand for the first time in my life--I felt "humbled." My knees actually buckled, and
I gently dropped to the ground upon them.
Indeed, there is every good reason to feel meek and awed before the manifested creative thoughts
of the Maker-Owner of the cosmic world. Not even one of our many creations can begin to match
the natural wonders of the cosmic world.
As a painting is to a finite human artist, the primary creations are to the Absolute or Almighty
Infinite Creative Power. I readily submit that as far as the Almighty Thou is concerned, my place
(and that of every other mortal human being, as well) always has been and always will be one of
natural involuntary subordination.
For a while afterwards, I lay face-down upon the ground. The grassy, dry land felt so
wonderfully solid beneath me. Lying down upon my stomach, I savored the comfort of this good
green earth. Alfred Joyce Kilmer must have felt something like I did on this morning when he
composed the first and the last verses in his poem "Trees:"
I think that I shall never see a poem lovely as a tree. . . .Poems are made by fools like you and
me, but only God [The Almighty Creative Power] can make a tree.
Yes, on this date in May 1969, I was becoming more and more aware of the great difference
between primary creations and the secondary creations produced by us mortal mental powers.
*
A burp? As I lay there, it seemed that the earth beneath me burped. Nay, that could not have
been true. So what did I hear when it seemed that from somewhere below where I lay prostrate upon
the ground came the sound of a big burp? [Well, things do boil under there. Otherwise there would
never be any volcanic eruptions.]
Fig. 44. Crop of cloud panorama taken by me.
Turning face up, I began observing the fluffy white clouds floating along overheard. At times it
seemed that the clouds were still, and the earth was moving. At other times it was the earth that
appeared to be still, and the clouds moving.
*
Then came the depressing part of this days series of memorable ordinary and extraordinary (the
visions part) events. For when I went back into the house, the TV happened to be tuned to one of
the afternoon soap opera shows in which a funeral service was underway. To my solemn dismay,
Jesus name was repeatedly used as if he was instead The Almighty Mental Power that originated
the first generation of our species. The funeral scene was like an omnibus dark cloud. I was
concerned, for many people treat Mr. Jesus of Nazareth as either a demi-deity (son of God "[ our
Creator]) or our Creator-incarnate.
Neither idea is consistent with the known laws of nature for our species. Again, there are no
immaculate (sperm-less)conceptions; human young are begotten by the sperm of male human
beings. For a fact: gAnything that walks and talks and looks like a human being is either a human
being, or a human-made robot of a human being.
Again, there is one and only one thing to possibly be worthy of our humble submission or
worshipful reverence, and that is the unknown Absolute Creative Mental Power envisioned to have
originated the first generation of our species123
Neither are there any real demi-deities (i.e., sons or daughters of a female human being and the
Almighty Thou ). How utterly absurd, and p o s i t i v e l y i n s u l t i n g to our Maker, to suggest
such things!
123
Either directly, or through some pre-established primary involuntary natural process.
From Loneliness to Love

___________
Fig. 45. Our Milky Way. Credit: NASA. Inscription was added by me.
Date in Re: May 28, 1969

Site:
Family yard
Theme:
Discovery
magine! Visualize! Envision!
To comply with either of these commands, we must use our
creative mental faculty. What a marvelous thing this part of our conscious mind is. We can use it
for discovery purposes as well as for creating entertaining stories and inventing all kinds of things.

Of the human mind, the authors of the previously referred civics textbook124 for youth had this to
say:
Your mind is capable of doing wonderful things. It can travel thousands of miles and return again
in an instant, if need be, bearing either many beautiful pictures or very ugly ones . . . These mental
pictures we call imagination. Even as you are reading these lines, you may be adventuring far off
on a mental journey.
On this morning following the impression of having regained use of a big chunk of my
independent free will power, I was experiencing a flush of warm excitement. To regain some of
ones diminished free will mental power can be a powerfully uplifting thing.
Looking out the front door in a southeasterly direction, I was savoring the beauty and lush
greenness of the surrounding springtime landscape when suddenly, I think; therefore I exist. came
to mind. Remembrance of Rene` Descartes125 soon followed. Whereas I could recall having
heard the quote and the name of its author during the last session of French lecture I attended at
ODC in September 1968, I failed to see the connection between either Mr. Descartes or his famous
line and my of-the-moment situation. Thus, I put aside these spontaneous remembrances.126
*
Nonetheless, the spontaneous expression had a special effect upon my psyche. Up to this
moment, I had not given any significant amount of concentrated thought to exactly how our species
came to be.
With background thoughts of the revered-by-millions Bible and the renowned
Charles Darwins theory of organic evolution to intimidate me, I had shied away from speculating
about how our species and the other entities of the primary cosmic world were actually developed
and caused to come into existence. My focus had only been upon the fact that (1) we exist, (2) each
124
MW W , page 5.
125
the name of the author of the expression.
126
A few weeks later I chanced to find a book that included some of Mr. Descartes' major philosophical
discourses. W as I ever surprised and delighted at what I found! Although our reasons for doubting all things differed,
I also wanted to discern what I couldby way of logical or good common sense reasoningbelieve to be true or not true,
and fair or not fair.

of us is at liberty to decide for himself or herself what is the fair or ethical thing to do, and (3) neither
gender nor race of us is more important or of greater value than the other.
But like a once-corralled horse set free to roam at will in the meadows, I was-- on this especially
pleasant spring morning in May 1969--feeling inclined toward experimenting with my newfound
intellectual freedom and sense of unchained liberty. And for whatever combining reasons, I started
thinking about the origination of the first pairs of male and female living things of human being kind
Bypassing the actual originating of the respective male and female bodies of the first generation
of our species, I began my intellectual experiment by trying to imagine what first consciousness
of life on earth may have been like for the origin generation of our species.
It follows that the first generation of human being kind would have begun conscious life under
a unique set of environmental conditions. Certain things which have happened between the first day
of human society and this day in 1969 had to be visualized as not having occurred. For instance:
a. No pair of either race of us organically-embodied creative mental powers has met and
fallen in love.
b. Neither any boy child nor any girl child of either racial variety of our species has been
begotten-conceived.
c. No clothing or body covering of any kind has been made.
d. No tents, huts or other human-made shelters have been constructed.
e. No harvesting tools, cooking utensils, or transportation vessels have been made.
f. No human communicative codes (languages or other signaling systems) have been
developed.
g. No religions have been established.
h. No hybrid plants have been produced.
i. No crossbred animals have been produced.
j. Neither has any idolatrous act127 been committed. These origin/ or first generation human
beings would have been as pure or sin free as new born babies.
The garden planet we English-speaking persons call Earth would also have been of a
comparatively unspoiled or pristine quality at the beginning of human society. No trees of the
127
I.e., worship of or reverence for some thing or someone other than the Almighty Creative Cause of the
first generation of our species and the other parts of the primary cosmic world .

forests would have been cut. No waterways had been polluted, and the sky overhead would have
been equally pure. In my estimation, fruits and nuts and berries and vegetables (especially root
vegetables like carrots, potatoes, et cetera) were in plentiful supply. And I would think that each
racial as Garden of Eden" site would have been near a fresh unsalted water supply of some kind
( e.g., a waterfall, spring, lake, or fresh water river). I would also estimate that each of these sites
would be located somewhere within thirty degrees of the equator. Otherwise, would not these
naked first men and first woman have soon died of hypothermia?
Although each subsequent generation of us has also begun life on earth in a state of innocence
and ignorance, we have had human elders to advise us regarding what is wise or safe to consume
or do. Not so for our most ancient paternal & maternal grandparents. For each of the first
generation human beings, it would have necessarily been a time of total innocence and ignorance
concerning what is and what is not wise or safe to consume or do.
Bypassing the origination of the body part of each first man and each first woman, I began
envisioning the first awakening or awareness of themself(s) by a pair of these first couples:
Fig. 46. Illustration about first consciousness was created by me with cutouts and handdrawings.
The figure on the left in the above illustration is intended to represent any first generation
woman of either race; the figure on the right any first generation man of either race. The round
yellow-orange figure is of course representative of the sun, and the green strokes represent the

privacy forest. The bell is intended to stand for our mutual innate liberty. In this experiment, my
focus was upon the inner mental self discoveries. While feigning to be a first generation woman,
I began imagining what first consciousness might have been like for her. Since I do not know what
it feels like to be a male human being, her counterpart could only be envisioned as the woman
observer might have perceived him to be. If you please, try to visualize (as I did):
a young woman naked and stretched out full length upon her back, with eyelids closed. Suddenly,
she becomes conscious of heat upon her body. Opening her eyelids, she beholds the blazing sun in
the sky overhead. Lifting her head and lowering her chin upon her upper chest, she gets a good view
of her upturned feet at the lower end of her body. Flexing the toes, she notices her knee humps.
Turning her head first to the left and then to the right, she views her pair of arms and hands with
appendages longer than the toes of her feet. She flexes her hands and fingers, and flaps her elbows
a little. She sits up. Like everything else she has done, the sitting up is near-automatic. It is only
after she has done something that she realizes she has done it. The self-examination extended to the
other parts of her body. When that is finished, she rolls over upon her knees and pushes herself up
into a standing position. Again, the movement was near spontaneous. All these first movements
and consequential first discoveries followed the same pattern: Do and become aware of having
done, . . . up until the shadow.
Once up and moving around, she becomes aware of her shadow. All day long that thing tags
after her. She cannot figure out what it is. After the bright hot light disappears and is replaced by
a softer and cooler full moon light, the figure of the shadow dims, but does not go away.
By now, the young woman is tired. A slight gnawing feeling is occurring in her belly. She
does not understand that (hunger feeling) either, or why her throat feels a little dry (thirsts). She
sits down. Actually , the sitting is more like a plop. In so doing, she discovers that the grassy
ground under her feet is not as soft as it appears to be__ if you simply let go and fall upon it.
Reclining her slightly sore body against one of the nearby trees, she soon drifts off to sleep.
&
In the meantime, a similar kind of first awakening and physical self-inspection had been going
on by her counterpart on the other side of the narrow privacy forest barrier. Only the young man
had not tired so quickly. His exploration continued on through the night, and over a much larger
territory than the female human being had covered. Neither had the man stopped to rest and fallen
asleep like the woman had. By the dawn of the second day of human life, the male human being had
made it through the privacy buffer forest and was within viewing range of where the female human
being lay slumbering. At first glance, he wondered if she were of his own kind. In many ways,
she looked just like him. But in other ways, she was different. Her breasts were much bigger, and
she did not have any genitalia hanging at the crotch like he did. Also, her body was shorter and

of a more slender curvy shape than his was. The man moves toward the tree beside which the
woman lay slumbering, and . . . .
With the thought of a pair of our most ancient grandparents first sighting of each other, I stopped
the creative game. Even in pretense, it seemed inappropriate to imagine the details of what that
intimate meeting may have been like. We know what eventually happened, and has happened every
generation since then; for here we are__the procreatively reproduced grandchildrennth 128 of those
original (primary level) paternal and maternal grandparents.
My visualization of a first generation woman and her mate-to-be coming into consciousness was
in part influenced by the Genesis author(s) portrayal of first couples. Notice that I said in part.
At no time during this creative venture did I ever suppose that each of the first generation women
was constructed from a used rib taken out of the body of each of the first generation men. How
messy! The in part I am alluding to is the idea that the first generation of our species was designed
and caused to come into existence by an Infinite Almighty/Absolute Creative Power.
As for the particular technique or process by which each primary thing was caused to come into
existence, that is still a mystery. Darwins theory about the origination of the species by means of
natural selection has some merit; but inasmuch as it is the nature of all of animal kind to reproduce
after a totally involuntary order, how could any species of animal kind have begotten-conceived the
first creative beings of mortal human kind?
As I see it, the major flaw in Darwins theory is that he did not allow for the Designer of the
evolution process he dubbed natural selection. I could not (and still cannot) imagine that the
process by which the human species and every other part of the primary cosmic world were caused
to come into existence were not designed by some Almighty or infinitely existing Absolute Creative
Mental Power.
Nor does the theory of organic evolution by way of involuntary natural selection cancel out or
refute the Genesis's author's premise of "intelligent design." Just envision empty space, . . . and then
think about how the entities that make up the primary cosmic world came to be. Regardless of the
natural involuntary process by which the creating was done or how long it took to complete the
128
I.e., indeterminate degree generation descendants.

primary job, how can the primary cosmic world not have been caused by an Infinitely
Existing/Absolute Creative Mental Power?
And although I strongly protest the biblical authors' practice of presenting their ideas as having
instead come from either the Almighty Thou or the spiritual presence within, the recount of Moses'
life story has also been of appreciable help to me.
*
This second illustration is intended to represent love at first sight," or the falling in love between
first couples of each of the basic racial varieties of our
species: Negroid (black), Mongoloid (yellow), Ameroid
(red), and Caucasoid (white). Our skin tones are of course
neither pitch black, bright yellow, scarlet red, nor snow
white. Although mentioning the traditional informal racial
grouping color values, I am mindful that there are many
differing shades of each races basic or primary level skin
pigment tone. [And would it not be grotesque if all of us
human beings were of the same skin tone, same hair color,
same body statute?]:
Fig. 47. Illustration created by me.
N o t e : Within less than a week after this intellectual experiment, I was to experience a quickly
passing sensory (non-pictorial) vision of a seemingly typical or prototype first couple that left me
with the impression that such as I were considered to be lower caste level human beings. I kid you
not. The posture of the pair was in effect implying that with respect to the Almighty Thou, all later
generation human beings (i.e. those born of preexisting human beings) were beneath them.
At first, I put the vision aside. What snobs," I thought. Indeed, that superiority stance was
a real turnoff. By the time of that vision, I had come to recognize that no human being is naturally
greater or more important than any other human being. To the Almighty Thou and the Almighty
Thou alone would I submit to bow in humble submissive respect.
No, the superiority stance vision did not cause me to change my mind about the natural
subordinate position of all human beings with respect to the envisioned Creative Cause of our

species. Like ourselves, the first generation of us creative beings of humankind was also beneath
and/or subordinate to the Almighty Creative Mental Power.
*
This third prototype illustration is intended to represent any quartet of our most ancient Paternal
and Maternal great grandparents__plus a first conceived and birthed child of each pair129:
Fig. 48. Illustration constructed by me.
When I began thinking about the details of my genetic history, I soon came to recognize that
the origin generation of our species does occupy a special position in the human hierarchy chain; for
regardless of the exact process by which they were caused to come into existence, our most ancient
paternal and maternal grandparents could not have been begotten-conceived by pre-existing pairs
of reproductively adult human beings!
129
Some of the drawings in the sequence of three illustrations were done by me, and some of the objects in
the illustrations were adapted cutouts from old magazines or children's activity craft books.

Without human parents to guide them, these most ancient f i r s t human parents would have had
to rely upon their raw natural instincts or intuition, creative intelligence, common sense, and the
divine spiritual presence within concerning what is and is not safe to consume in the way of liquids
and other foodstuffs, as well as what is and what is not wise or fair behavior.
The young of those second generation babies (the e. and f. in the previous prototype illustration)
would have been the first grandchildren of humankind. We are the great grandchildren (to the nth
degree130) of those origin-generation parents of human creative being kind.
Albeit a very long genetic chain, the basic pattern remains the same: One set of parents of
differing gender per each child, and two sets of grandparents: one paternal pair & one maternal pair
per each child.
And whether the biological parents parent (raise) the begotten-conceived and
birthed child or not, each genetic human family consists of exactly one male parent, one female
parent, and at least one child of either male or female kind.
Whenever I recall, hear, or read the words: Honor thy father and thy mother," I think of each
generation of my forefathers and foremothers__even all the way back to the first ones.
And despite all the problems caused by the practice of ascribing speaking lines to the Almighty
Thou ( ohvkt), I also think about and feel appreciation for those Hebrews/Jews who have kept
before us the hypothesis or theory that our species and all the other parts of the prim ary co s m ic
wo rl d were originated by an Almighty Infinite Creative Mental Power.
*
As for the type of temptation a prototype first generation couple was portrayed by the author of
Genesis to have succumbed to is concerned, the inclination to idol-making is a natural constant
peculiar to living things of humankind. And were it not for these contrasting good or wise and notgood or not wise inclinations, we would be as animals__without free will power.
Referring back to the origin generations position compared to ours, no "born-of-woman" child
(other than a severely mentally disabled one) can have reached adulthood without committing some
willful unfair or unholy deed. Thus, I cannot support the practice of giving certain deceased
subsequent generation male and female human beings the posthumous title of Saint or Sainte,
130
I.e., a real but indeterminate number.

respectively. However, and as noted in my feigned rebuttal to the biblical personality Paul, these
titles might actually apply to our most ancient paternal and maternal grandparents (those men and
women not begotten conceived of human parents).
While we are involuntarily inclined toward idol-making, we are not involuntarily caused to
worship or revere the unknown Creative Cause of the first generation of our species and the rest of
the primary creations__and that power alone? To me, this freedom implies a lot about the
fairness/good character of the envisioned Almighty/Absolute Thou.
While we are at liberty not to choose the unknown Creative Cause of our species as the object
of worship, no thing of the known finite cosmic world would be a suitable object of reverence or
worship. The only possibly worthy object of our reverence or worship would be the envisioned
unknown Designer/Maker of the primary comic world.
Indeed, how refreshing it is to not be dogged by involuntary nature to as bow down in humble
submission or meek servitude like some of my guiding elders would have me do concerning the
deceased man sometimes referred to as "Jesus Christ."
Albeit I am not responsible for what the biblical authors have written, I am responsible for what
I say, write, illustrate, or might otherwise suggest. Thus, I edit (but without removing the original
text) quoted expressions that I interpret to be literally misrepresentative of what the author is either
apparently or seemingly alluding to, as in Genesis 1:26:
/ / / /ub,unsf ubnkmc ost vagb ohvkt rnthu

And said God [The Almighty Creative Mental Power], Let us make man [humankind] in our own
image, after our likeness. . . . [ Note :My translation is according to the actual word order].
Point of Fact: g Genesis 1:26 is a figurative rather than literally factual statement; for no human being
could have witnessed the envisioned Almighty/Absolute Creative Mental Power thinking about and/or
willing a species of creative human being kind into existence.

The truth can be elusive, even feared. Nonetheless, the search for truth is necessary. One
author had this say about not letting "inherited" teachings become as chains upon our minds:
Too often, however, the shelters of childhood become the prisons of maturity; dependent reliance
upon others becomes weak indecisiveness, and many of us are tragically afraid to liberate ourselves
from the chains of yesteryear. A false idea of religion still encourages fear and hardens those chains;
it helps keep men and women in subjection to their childish and adolescent . . . at a time when they
should be trusted to make a proper distinction between fantasy and fact, dream and deed. 131
In the Principles of Philosophy (Abt. 1642), Rene` Descartes had this to say about methodic
doubting (i.e., a way of searching for certainty by systematically--though tentatively--doubting
everything.): The seeker after truth must, once in the course of his [or her] life, doubt everything,
as far as possible. 132
Indeed, deliberate doubting can help you to discover the true value of your acquired information.
While all that we experience is education of one kind or another, only involuntary nature can be
considered to be totally reliable evidence. Our interpretations about the natural world entities and
events are always subject to error. For instance, there was a time in human history when people
(who expressed their views on the subject) thought the earth was flat. We now know this is not true.
Mr. Descartes also noted in Discourse on Method: It is good to have examined all things, even
those most full of superstition and [seeming] falsehood, in order that we may know their just value,
and avoid being deceived by them.
I wholeheartedly support the proposition that we need to thoroughly examine all that has been
said, written, or otherwise presented by one or more of us concerning: (1) the origination of the
primary natural cosmic world, (2) spiritual revelation and other natural involuntary phenomena, and
(3) what is deemed to be wise or correct behavior.
131
132
Joshua Loth Liebman, Peace of .Mind ( New York: Simon and Schuster, 1946.) POM
The Philosophical Writings of Descartes, vol I, tr. by John Cottinghm, Robert Stoothoff, and Dugald
Murdoch, (Cambridge, United Kingdom: Cambridge University Press, 1985), 193. PW D
10
A Sacred Pilgrimage
____________
Date in Re: June 2-3, 1969

Time:
Morning to morning
uring the day, I walked about the yard with my young daughters (Lisa and Anne), and talked
with them about the wonders of nature around about us. The overhead sky was the first thing we
looked at and talked about. After observing the various clouds, Lisa went back into the house to
write about what she had seen, and the things the cloud shapes resembled (to her). As I recall, the
essay she did was quite good. Regrettably, the paper was not filed away in some safe place.
Sometime during our stroll around the backyard, Anne
gathered a bouquet of roses from the rambling red roses that
grew along a piece of the chain-link fencing separating the
front yard of our house from the back yard, and presented
them to me. I do not recall how she managed to collect the
roses without getting pricked by the thorns.
After Lisa had gone back into the house to write about
the cloud formations she had studied so intently, Anne and
I walked on down to the pier that jutted out a short distance
Fig. 49. The two photos in this composite image

are the courtesy of Linda Rosenthal & AL71.
over the salted waterway named Long Creek. From where my youngest daughter and I were
positioned, we could see the suns rays touching down upon the earths surface in the distant
southwest horizon.

In the rural community where I grew up,
folks would say of this striking natural
phenomenon: The sun is drawing up the
waters. It was only after I had acquired
internet service in April 2000, and had
begun searching for a photograph of sun
drawing up water, that I discovered that
the technical name for this atmospheric
Fig. 50. Crop of 2090044.jpg. Photo courtesy of Steve Smith.
phenomenon was crepuscular rays.
One of the internet authors included this commentary with the one or more exhibited photos of
the rays at his website:
Ofttimes, because it appears that these rays reach downward from the clouds, people will remark
that the sun is drawing up water. In England, they call this same thing Jacobs Ladder.
What you are, in fact, seeing here is what is referred to as crepuscular rays. This phenomenon
usually occurs when sunlight shines through a break in a layer of clouds. Dust, tiny water droplets,
or haze in the air beneath the clouds scatters sunlight, making that region of the sky appear bright
with rays. No matter what these sunbeams may be called, it is the scattering of sunlight by particles
in the atmosphere that makes them visible.
At the time this was happening, I was not inclined to speculate about the physics behind the
extraordinary scenes that appeared before my viewing minds I. Although I did not know the
technical name for them at the time, the sun's crepuscular rays were a familiar scene. But as
previously noted, I did try to make a written record of each unusual or especially impressive
thing I observed. In a few instances, a hand-drawn sketch of the scene was included.
Thus ended the daytime part.
*

At about 8:30 p.m.
I went to the light switch near the front door of the house to
turn on the front porch lamp. When I flipped the switch, nothing
happened. I stepped out upon the porch to see what was wrong
with the porch light. That is when I noticed a lone firefly flitting
about near a cluster of pine trees across the street on the corner
where Centell Road and Long Creek Drive converge. When there
is one firefly, there are usually more. But even though I stood and
Fig. 51. Photo courtesy of Bruce Marlin,

Red Planet, Inc.
watched for a few minutes, I saw only one firefly.

A little bit later, I happened to look out into the backyard through the sliding glass doors from
the dining room to the patio. Lo and behold, there was that lone firefly flitting near the large live
oak to the left of the patio, or so I hastily assumed. It could just as easily have been a different
lightning bug. Either way, there was at least one firefly flashing in the vicinity of the nearby oak
tree, and one flashing its phosphorescent tail light in one of the pine trees to the far right of the
patio later on in the evening. The comment below fits the type of firefly beetles seen by me during
this summer night in 1969:
Flashing Lightning Bugs are trying to attract mates. Among most but not all species of North American
Lightning Bugs, males fly about flashing while females perch on vegetation, usually near the ground.
If the female sees a flasher and she's ready to mate she responds by flashing right after the male's last
flash. A short flash dialogue takes place as the male flies closer and closer, and then, if all goes well,
they mate. __http:// www.backyardnature.net/ lightbug.htm .
As I stood there peering outside, the premonition: Expect anythingswept over me. That's
when I decided to extend my nature review to an all-night watch. Upon hearing about my plan to
sleep out overnight in our backyard, David and Lisa decided to join me. As I recall, Anne was
already asleep. James did not join the backyard retreat group. It is possible that he felt someone
should stay inside with his five-year-old sister.

Once outside, Lisa spread
her sleeping bag down
alongside mine on the
concrete patio. And for
whatever reasons, David
took his sleeping bagand
flashlightto the far right
side of the backyard to
bed down upon the grass
under the rustic woodframed
Scuppernong
grape arbor. At the risk
Fig. 52. Backyard drawing is by me.
of
stooping
to
the
melodramatic, it did seem that my teenage son considered himself to be our night watchman. As
it happened, his father was away attending a job-related school. This was a rare situation. My
husband was usually at home from work by midnight.
By the time all were settled down, dusk had passed. Now it was dark. From my position
on the patio, the trees appeared to
be jet black__a like magical
black. My skin was perceived as
having a beautiful olive-toned
glow to it. In fact, the exotic glow
flooded the entire back yard. It
was the most exquisitely toned
light I have ever seen.
The
composite image at right is

somewhat representative of how
the glow in the backyard and the
tone of my skin appeared to be
during this otherwise dark night.
Fig. 53. Background scene photo is courtesy of webmaster at

wallpaperforever.com. Legs photo layer is by me.

No stars were visible. There were street lamps about half a mile away on the bridge part
of Great Neck Road. On this night, those bridge lights appeared to be of a yellowish green
or chartreuse color instead of the regular street lights color, . . . and the red beacon near the
shore a few blocks to my right along the east shoreline of Long Creek appeared to be of a
bright melon color instead of the usual as stop light red. Both the bridge lamps and the
beacon light were too far from me to give any light in my yard. The only light I could see
shining upon the backyard on this night was the indescribably exquisite exotic olive-toned
light spray.
The trees can appear to black at night, but the only other place I have ever seen anything
likened to the beautiful tone of light that as sprayed my backyard and me on the night of
June 2-3, 1969, have been in photographs like the two cropped and merged photos included
Fig. 53. on the previous page. No doubt, I had previously seen some photographs or
sketches in one or more books, movie scenes, or greeting cards that included this exotic
olive tone cast.
Sometime between midnight and dawn, dark clouds had started to form. Soon the thunder began
rumbling like gigantic elephants tromping across the sky.
Fig. 54. Stormy-Sky-0747m.jpg, the photo from which the above cropped portion is taken, is the courtesy of
John Kasunich, www.jmkasunich.com.
A few heavy raindrops started falling upon my upturned nose. There was
only a little rain, not enough to call a shower. But combining this night's
experience with raindrops to all my other remembrances of rain hitting
some part of my body, it is my conclusion that not all rain droplets are of
the same weight. Hitherto, I had not noticed individual raindrops. Neither
Fig. 54.1. Photo of raindrops

on leaf is courtesy of Bruce
Marlin, Red Planet, Inc.

had I thought about all precipitations ( e.g., dew, rain, sleet, hail, snow, etc.) as actually various
formations of the unique water compound: H 2 O.
The dark grey storm clouds continued to float across the night sky from left to right. And
as I lay there following their movement from left to right, a number of puzzling visions began
to develop. If only I could do mirror-image level likenesses of all the visions I observed on
this night and at other times between January 14, 1969, and mid-July, 1970. As it is, rough
sketches and photo illustrations are the best I can provide. The star vision in the illustration
below is represented by a photo-editing lens flare.133 My two drawings are very close
likenesses of the two pictorial visions of cloud matter I witnessed on this sultry summer night:
Fig. 55. Background photo same as Fig. 54. on previous page. Foreground layers and lens flare are by me.
1. From right to left, there first appeared a starlike or as lens flare flash of light to
the far right of my viewing range.
2. Coming into view next was the vision of an abstract form that appeared to be a mix
between an artist's atomic model and a royal Asian or Egyptian porta carriage.
3. Following last was the vision of an abstract version of a classic royal crown.
4. Closing, there was an impression vision of a first generation couple. And as noted
in the previous entry, both individuals seemed aloof, and as if they were superior
to me.
133
See ENDNOTE I for further commentary and models associated with 2 nd and 3 rd vision scenes.

Dawn
When dawn began to occur, it seemed that the sun was rising in the Western horizon
[which, of course, it was not]. Although it had lost some of the exotic olive-toned
appearance, the light glow was still of a sprayed effect.
While I stood watching the light of a new sunrise appear, I also got the firm
impression of the earth as being pulled through space. Why, we really do not know
where we are in space!, I silently acknowledged.
Following the impression of the planet Earth pulled through space, this renown
poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson came to mind:
Crossing the Bar

Sunset and evening star
and one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
when I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out
the boundless deep
turns again home.
Twilight and even bell,
and after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
when I embark;
For tho from out our bourne
of time and place
the flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face [ 147 ]
when I have crossed the bar.

__________
147
Face is a physical thing of finite life kind. But if i m m o r t a l i t y d o e s h a p p e n t o f o l l o w u p o n t h e

m o rtal d eath, I also ho p e to have so m e definitive awareness of the A bso lute C reative M ental P o wer.
Epilogue
ocation of earth in universal (detectable) space?

I had never wondered about where we are in space. Due to the huge size of earth and the
vast amount of space between our home planet and each of the other celestial objects, it is
hard to visualize the earth as in motion. It is real to me now. The impression vision I
experienced of earth as undergoing a pulling motion helped me to think about and accept the
theory of the earth orbiting the sun as a plausible one. However, the concept of the earth
spinning around like a top while orbiting the sun is not as comprehensible to me. Yet, if a
planet were started in motion in space in the beginning, what would cause it to stop spinning?
The vision set of a "star", "porta carriage", and "royal crown?"

The star flash: Since this event included several visions about the direction or
relative position of the earth in space, perhaps the North Star (Polaris) is the celestial
object the star vision may be suggestive of; for that was the only star I knew of to have
anything to do with a constant or fixed direction. Time and time again, I had heard
some person refer to the North Star as a seafarer's natural navigational guide for
determining where" true North" is. [This vision also brings up the vision scene of a
lone star atop a pastel rainbow spray that I experienced on the night of February 14,
1996. In a way, that vision scene also had to do with direction__the direction to the
location of the envisioned Almighty Thou, . . .and also the general direction in which
we mental beings would go if eternal life does follow upon the death of our finite
mortal bodies.]
In searching for more information on the "North Star" (Polaris), I have since come
across the following new (to me) information about the position of this most significant

star with regard to the Earth's north pole at www.Space.com:
"Polaris is a m oderately bright s tar. It is c alled the N orth S tar because the N orth P ole
of E arth's ax is of rotation points up toward it.
F o r th is reason, Polaris rem ains
relativ ely fix ed in the s k y during the night, and Earth's spin causes the othe r s tars to
rotate around P olaris .
P olaris is als o the outerm os t s tar on the handle of the Little D ipper, w hich seem s to
pour into the B ig D ipper." __ B y R obert R oy B ritt, S enior S cience W riter.
Fig.56. This illustration was adapted from a photo by Dick Braun,

www.parkpointvacations.com, and a rough sketch in an article at
www.survivaltopics.com by Ron about how to find the North Star __plus its
importance as a survival guiding light.
Organic life and sexuality?

Human sexuality or sensuousness was also a featured part of this night. For the first
remembered time in my life, I had the impulse to suck my thumb. That happened during the
time the blue jays were squawking back and forth, . . .and the mallard waterfowls were
quacking, . . .and the fireflies were flashing their tail lights, . . .and I began perceiving the
vision of an enshrouding olive-toned exotic light.
E NDNOTES
I. The illustration at right was recently drawn by me. However, in
1969, I had not seen any atomic models of any body-centered cubic
crystal structures (e.g., CsCl/cesium chloride) like the one shown in
a 2005 electronic version of Britannica 148 , and more recently at
several places on Internet.
Fig. 57. Green=Cs, red=Cl.
Take all the diagonal lines away in the

above drawing, and you have a shape
likened to the center cubic part in the
illustration at left of the cloud stuff vision
I observed on this night in June 1969.
Fig.57.1. Drawing of white formation vision by me.
During the time I was experiencing the

vision of the exotic light and the shapes
passing overhead in front of the stormy
clouds, people of the Mongoloid race were
the cultural group that came to mind. The
picture at right is a more modern version
than the one I had in mind; however, it is
the only one I have found representative of
an ancient Asian or Egyptian porta carriage.
Fig. 57.2. Source of porta carriage photo unknown.
148
Encyclopaedia Britannica Ultimate Reference Suite 2005 DVD-ROM (Chicago, IL: Encyclopdia
Britannica, Inc. and its licensors, 1994-2005.) EBURS
11
'Not At Some High Place Along The Way

____________
Date in Re: June 10, 1969

Time:
6:00 pm
Main Theme: Composition of air?
gain, the sun appears to be stark white light as it
A
begins to disappear below the western horizon. The sky
overhead is a clear crystal blue with a few white clouds.
Some lower grey-blue clouds are beginning to move
across, . . . changing to a powder-blue as they pass before
Fig. 58. Again, crop of a free photo by Magnum
the descending sun. On this evening in late spring of Rosenthal.
1969, I again recalled Grandpa Dicks saying about heaven on earth," . . . and also the
expression: the garden with four gates.
These two remembrances were followed by remembrance of Socrates simile of the cave
in chapter seven of The Republic, and the four steps or faculties of mind deployed in the
philosophical search for truth: reason, understanding, faith, and the perception of shadows.
At least, I presume this listing in my notes was drawn from either the closing paragraph of
chapter six and/or a portion of chapter seven of the referred Socratic dialogue that I had read
in February 1969:
You have quite conceived my meaning, I said; and now, corresponding to these four
divisions, let there be four faculties in the soul: reason answering to the highest;
understanding to the second; faith (or conviction) to the third; and perception of shadows to
the last. . . . At any rate, we are satisfied, as before, to have four divisions; two for intellect
and two for opinion, and to call the first division science, the second understanding, the third
belief, and the fourth perception of shadows [lit. the obscure].

Inasmuch as I had no memory of having read any part of Platos The Republic before
January 14, 1969, neither Grandpa Dicks saying nor the expression: the garden of four
gates which I spontaneously recalled on that date could have been directly influenced by what
was written in that Socratic dialogue. What, then, might the garden of four gates actually
have pertained to?
The planet earth is a celestial garden. Every which way we turn, we are facing either the
eastern, southern, western, or northern quadrant of our celestial planetary home.
In the next portion of my notes, there is mention of the flaming sword:
"As the sun sets, I remember the old song: Up a lazy river in the noonday sun. . . . Thoughts
of beauty, hope, and majestic criers arise in mind, . . . the flaming sword is gone.
Perhaps the garden with four gates is based on a visual impression I had imagined while
reading the King James version of the allegorical Garden of Eden"? To my recollection,
the only place I had seen the expression flaming sword was in the KJV English translation
of Genesis 3:24:
,tu ohcrfv,t isgidk osen ifahu ostv,t ardhu

:ohhjv .g lrs,t rnak ,fpv,nv crjv yvk
So He [the presence of the Almighty Power] drove out the man; and He placed at the east of
the garden of Eden the cherubim, and the flaming sword which turned every way, to keep [or
guard] the way to the tree of life.
_________

More visions (involuntary/subconscious scenic projections):
1. A pair of slightly tilted twin cerulean blue spheres (as those in the
image by me at right) float down from high above my head, and then . . .
2. I began perceiving small swirling disks like the one
depicted in my drawn 59.1. sketch moving through the
surrounding atmosphere (which now looks like thickened
jelly or mucus type medium, with sperm/or tadpole-shaped
things moving through it), and
Fig. 59.
Fig. 59.1.
3. Then there were showers of diminutive sparkling lights falling down

all around me. They looked something like what you see when you see
stars before your eyes.
4. About an hour later, a larger six-sphere arrangement of the same
cerulean blue as those in fig 59 appeared near a Purple Martin birdhouse
of the neighbor who lived to the right side of my yard.
Fig. 59.2.
Note: The joint sketch at left below put together by me is made from two illustrations that I
later found in a study-guide science article. As you can see, the
circular example part (Ice Needles Causing Halo) is near identical in
shape and design to the small vision disks (Fig. 59.1.) my minds I
viewed as swirling through the usually invisible mantle of air
surrounding the earths surface. If I had ever seen such an illustration
about ice needles before this date in 1969, I have no recollection of it.
Fig. 59.3. Ice needles.
However, spherical shapes of various sizes had been seen by me many

times. Hence, my mind would have contained memory images of both
the shapes and the color in seen in these visions.
Figures 59. and 59.2. recalled to mind some

things I had seen in chemistry books about the structure of atomic matter
and various compounds made from those primary particles. Both threedimensional models and sketched models of chemical compounds have
spheres representing the component atoms__as shown in the ball and
stick model of the water molecule image at right.
Fig. 59.4.Adapted from

model by Ben Mills in PD
at Wikimedia.org.

Notes about other non-vision observations
At 7:00 p.m., the sun glow is a golden orange. I observed the rapid flapping of
the starlings, and noticed that the graceful sea gull is not around today.
At 7:45 p.m., the clouds overhead are cream satin on blue, while the ones nearer
to the ground are of stormy grey-blue cast, . . . my favorite gull shows up, . . . and a
high-flying jet. One prop plane is seen heading in the direction of Oceania Air Base.
___________
Epilogue
lthough things upon the earths surface and in the atmosphere above it are seemingly
A
surrounded by volumes of empty space, they are not. This space contains the air we breathe:
a collection of various arrangements of natural chemical elements. More than 90% of these
molecules of naturally occurring elements are either Nitrogen or Oxygen atoms.
Unfortunately, this life-sustaining air al s o i ncl udes some things which are not a natural part
of it ( e.g., factory smoke, fireplace smoke, automotive exhaust fumes). This is scary; for
without a sufficient amount of oxygen, we die. I now ask: Can we afford to ignore the
environmentalists pleas for reducing pollutants that contaminates the water, air, or soil?
Though I had passed a college course on general chemistry in the spring of 1968, I had not
fully grasped the fact that all creations are of an atomic nature. For one thing, all the
textbook models showed neat arrangements of little round spheres (atoms) somewhat like
Tinker Toy building sets. Whereas these models can help you get started toward thinking
about the chemical structure of compounds, it needs to be pointed out that the real molecules
of these compounds are not of the shape and color which they are portrayed to be in books,
computer software, or on Internet.
Whatever the visions I observed this day may have been caused by or be representative of,
they helped me to relate to the fact that the invisible air we breathe is composed of real atomic
particles.

The following quote from ERL-4 focuses upon the importance of the planet earth's
air/atmosphere:
"The most important attribute of air is its life-sustaining property. Human and animal life
would not be possible without oxygen in the atmosphere. In addition to providing
life-sustaining properties, the various atmospheric gases can be isolated from air and used
in industrial and scientific applications, ranging from steelmaking to the manufacture of
semiconductors. "
In EBUR, the invisible finite life-supporting stuff we call air is described as:
a mixture of gases comprising the Earth's atmosphere. The mixture contains a group of gases
of nearly constant concentrations and a group with concentrations that are variable in both
space and time. The atmospheric gases of steady concentration (and their proportions in
percentage by volume) are as follows in table patterned after the one found in the referred
encyclopedia :
78.084
nitrogen (N 2)
oxygen (O 2)
20.946
argon (Ar)
neon (Ne)
helium (He)
methane (CH 4)
krypton (Kr)
hydrogen (H2)
nitrous oxide
0.934
0.0018
0.000524
0.0002
0.000114
0.00005
0.00005
(N2 O)
xenon (Xe)
0.000009
The uniformity of composition is maintained by mixing associated with atmospheric motions;

but, above a height of about 90 km (55 miles), diffusional processes become more important
than mixing, and the lighter gases (hydrogen and helium, in particular) are more abundant
above that level.

The only life we know is organic life (i.e., life indigenous to the planet earth). The only
cosmic world we know of is the one in which the planet earth and its contents of natural and
human-made kind are integral parts.
In order to know what is beyond the edges of the portion of infinite space occupied by the
cosmic world, we would have to go there. And
no mortally-existing human being has ever done
that, . . . and then returned to earth to tell about
it. The farthest any one of us has gone from our
home planet is to the earths natural satellite,
the moon. That feat was first accomplished,
I have been told, by American astronauts Neil
A. Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Edwin A.
Aldrin, Jr. on July 20, 1970.
Fig. 60. Two NASA photos combined by me.
Our normal range of physical vision is

finitely limited. But with our creative minds I, each of us can envision all sorts of worlds
to exist. Needless to say, such envisioning does not make it so. Earth is the only planet in the
known cosmic world d e s i g n e d to support organic life. We mortally-embodied beings
cannot live any place else. Our mind-body system is designed for life on the third planet out
from the sun. Whatever one might choose to call the envisioned Creative Cause of the
approximately 92
primary elements (e.g., Hydrogen, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen, etc.
molecules of atoms) of which the starry constellations, the sun, planets, etc. primary creations
were constructed, that Infinite/ Absolute Creative Mental Power is the Owner of us.
g Peace on earth does not come from some high place along the way; the source of peace lies
within the mental part of each one of us creative powers of human kind.
12
From Foolishness to Discretion' - Extended

____________
Fig. 61. Free clip art sample. Credit:

Garyca.us.
Date in Re: September 22-23, 1969

Site:
Family yard
Event:
Autumn nostalgia, plus flashback to doomsday fears of January 15, 1969
hat some call Indian summer157 appeared to have arrived.
The sky was beautiful.
Figuratively speaking, I awoke with a song in my heart:
This land is your land, this land is my land,

From the redwood forest to the New York Island.
From the snow-capped mountains to the Gulf Stream waters
This land was made for you and me. . . . 158
157
Actually, this term is applied to warm days that develop in late autumn. See Endnote I for commentary
by a meteorologist.
158
Version by W oodrow (W oody) Guthrie (1912 - 1967). See Endnote II for a copy of whole song.

The reality of the earth as my home was even more apparent on this fall morning than usual. The
fact that millions of other people inhabit the same planet I do did not make me feel one iota less
important, . . . or less fulfilled. Each one of us can stand on a plot of land and affirm as Woody
Guthrie did: This is my home, my own native land; this land was made for you and me.
Unfortunately, we are not keeping this land very well.
Human possession of real estate is a relative ownership of land. Like some of the native
Americans (Indians) pointed out, the earth belongs to the Great Spirit [i.e., the Almighty Creative
Mental Power who designed and caused the land formations and waters that makes up this unique
garden island planet in space]. Whether called by its Hebrew name .rt (eretz) or its English
name earth, the third planet out from the sun is the planetary homeland of each one of us.
Recalling the Sing Out America special held on the ODC campus steps the year before, I went on
to remember these especially inspiring lines from the Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men [people] are created equal, that they are
endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the
pursuit of Happiness.
This Indian summer kind of day was captivating. Outdoors I went. The morning sky was
a beautiful blue-on-blue with patches of fluffy white sweeping upward into scroll formations. My
emotions overflowed with poetic thoughts, but my verses were of such poor quality, I shall not
embarrass myself or others by repeating them.
Another thing that came to mind on this fall day in 1969 was a line from the Song of Solomon
1:5: I am black, but comely, O daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of
Solomon. Following this, I recalled the face of Julian Bond and his moving speech at the televised
1968 national Democratic convention about All over the world people want to be free. . . . The
freedom Mr. Bond was referring to was political freedom. We already have natural liberty.
These remembrances were followed by thoughts of Frankie Lane and his emotionally arousing
lyric: I must go where the wild goose goes.

Andy Williams* melodic "Canadian Sunset" was another song I recalled the sounds of on this
warm September morning. I also remembered the record my sister Jean and I made of Blues Stay
Away From Me, and how much I like the rhythm and blues songs.
Call of the Wild, a masterful book by Jack London in 1903, was another artwork I recalled and
reminisced about on this day in 1969.
Thinking about all these creative aptitudes which I did not possess, my frustration arose. How
I wished I could write poetry and compose musical arrangements. But most especially, I wished I
had been born with the talent for drawing or painting likenesses of what I see. What an asset it
would be for both myself and the people with whom I might share my life experiences.
Crickets were numerous and noisy on this day. Every fall we are pestered with the near endless
scratchy chirping produced by the male crickets rubbing the edge of one of their front wings against
the edge of the other wing. Get one of these insects caught in the house, and you will know how
hard it is to find it. The chirping reverberates like movie theater all-around-sound. House Crickets
will eat holes in your woolen garments. Yet the author of The Adventures of Finocchio 159 created
the Jimmy Cricket character to represent the conscience; without which, I would note, Finocchio
would never have been a relatable child. Come to think of it, isn't our conscience as a grating
intimidatory, a persistent or unrelenting pesky gadfly?160
Sometimes a real person is compared to a pesky insect. In "The Apology"161(a dialogue about
Socrates' trial), Socrates is portrayed as comparing himself to a gadfly chosen by the Supreme Being
(/Almighty Infinite Power):
For if you kill me you will not easily find another like me, who, if I may use such a ludicrous figure
of speech, am a sort of gadfly, given to the State by the God; and the State is like a great and noble
steed who is tardy in his [its] motions owing to his [its] very size, and r e q u i r e s t o b e s t i r r e d
i n t o l i f e . I am that gadfly which God has given the State and all day long and in all places am
always fastening upon you, arousing and persuading and reproaching you.
159
By Italian writer Carlo Collodi (1892). The story of a wooden puppet who comes to life. Mischievous
and selfish, Pinocchio experiences a series of near-disasters that teach him right from wrong. The puppet wants to
become a real boy, but he cannot attain this goal until he learns obedience, honesty, and generosity. ERL-04
160
161
I.e., one of the various large flies that bites cattle, horses, . . . or an irritating, bothersome individual.
FGD, pg 49
No, it is the conscience/or the self-revealing source of conscience (vuvh) that the Almighty
(ohvkt) hath given each of us for prodding us to make sensible or mutually beneficial choices. There
is no involuntary evidence to support the theory that transcendent level spiritual experiences and
associated oracles (i.e. visions) are directly caused by the unknown Cause of the primary world, the
Infinite Almighty Thou. What the vision of the hovered presence suggested to me is that it was the
manifestation of the spiritual presence within the human mind; for as with my dream scenes, the
visions I witnessed between January 14, 1969, and July 1950 were made up of various arrangements
of my own stored memory bits. Thus, the source of a spiritual revelation is within the involuntary
subconscious part of our psyche.
Trying to persuade others to think--really think--for themselves about truth, justice, and the
rational way is not a divine charge; but thankfully, it was the chosen mission of such past lay
philosophers as the Greek, Socrates/or Plato and the Frenchman, Rene` Descartes.
September 23, 1969

At 6:30 of this morning, I was out walking because my legs were aching. Even while the sun
was rising up over the eastern horizon, a nearly half-moon was still visible overhead. On the
February afternoon, it had been the opposite situation; that is, the moon had been rising in the eastern
horizon while the sun was setting in the western horizon.
On this day, I also began to realize that the warmongers and other persons for whom I had been
feeling hate were not affected by my hatred. It was I who was the victim of my sweltering
resentment. By letting my distaste for those who practice deception, brutality, theft, sexism, racism,
idolatry, etc. unfair practices reach the hate degree, I had turned a helpful anger emotion into a selfdefeating one. Wise decisions depend upon our ability to confront each others adversities after a
calm manner.
My notes also include: All is not well in the world of green sleeves, bluebirds, and forever
springs. And it is true that the threat of a human-caused doomsday remains. The following

pertinent information regarding the devastating effects of nuclear bombs upon the earth and its mixed
natural things and human-made things was found in ERL-04:
a) Upon witnessing the first test explosion of an atomic bomb, American physicist J. Robert
Oppenheimer recalled a line from the Hindu poem, the Bhagavad-Gita, Now I am become death,
the destroyer of worlds. On August 6 and 9, 1945, the United States dropped atomic bombs on
Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan, and the metaphor of destruction became reality. The United States
Strategic Bombing Survey was a joint Army-Navy commission formed to study the impact of
bombing during World War II (1939-1945). In 1946 the group produced this report, detailing the
devastating effects of the bombs on those two cities. . . .
b) The initial explosion in the detonation of an atomic bomb is catastrophic for the surrounding
area, leveling structures with intense shock waves and releasing vast amounts of heat. The
characteristic mushroom cloud sends debris and radioactive material into the atmosphere, which can
cause biological damage thousands of miles away from the explosion site. Archive Films. [The
italics-style is applied by me.]
Although greatly saddened by how far apart we human beings are concerning (1) the Creative
Cause of our species, (2) the value of human life, and (3) what constitutes fairness or justice toward
The Almighty Creative Mental Power and each other, I continue to rejoice in the beauties of
involuntary nature and the realization that each of us has the potential for decent behavior.
ENDNOTES
I. North of the equator, the "meteorological" summer season includes the months of June, July,
and August. Astronomically speaking, in the Northern Hemisphere, summer begins with the
summer solstice (on or about June 21) and ends with the autumnal equinox (on or about
September 22). However, warm, seemingly summer-like weather often returns after the
autumnal equinox. In North America, a period of relatively warm weather in late autumn,
occurring after the first frost or cold spell is called "Indian Summer."
Autumn evokes images of drying corn stalks, pumpkins in the field, and beautifully colored
foliage gently falling from the trees. Autumn's splendor can be enjoyed best during spells of
"Indian Summer" weather. Indian Summer is a period of dry, unseasonably warm weather in
October or November. It is usually characterized by a clear sky with a faint haze, especially
near the horizon. Indian summer occurs when a cool, shallow polar air mass stagnates and
becomes a deep mountain of warm high-pressure. This high pressure is characterized by a
strong, low-level temperature inversion that produces stable air stratification.
As a result, vertical air motions are inhibited, and smoke and dust are concentrated near the
ground, which accounts for the haziness. The nights are cool and may even bring frost, but the
bright sunshine during the day causes the temperatures to warm to very pleasant levels.
The term "Indian Summer" originated in New England and is most likely derived from the
Indian custom of using this time to prepare for the winter by storing food. Indian summer may
occur several times in some years or not at all in other years. When it occurs, it may persist for
a week or even longer. . . .
When Indian Summer occurs, take this window of great weather as an opportunity to prepare
for winter as the Indians did years ago. Begin or finish-up your yard work, freeze or can the
fruits of your summer gardening labors, or prepare your home now to conserve energy for the
cold winter weather ahead.
__Written September 3, 2001, by Joe D'Aleo , Chief WSI/INTELLICAST Meteorologist.

II.
This Land Is Your Land

This land is your land, this land is my land
From the redwood forest to the New York island.
From the snow-capped mountains to the Gulf Stream waters
This land is made for you and me.
As I go walkin' my ribbon of highway
I see all around me my blue blue skyway
Everywhere around me the wind keeps a-whistlin'
I'm a-chasin' my shadow out across this roadmap
To my wheat fields waving, to my cornfield dancing
As I go walkin' this wind keeps talkin'
I can see your mailbox, I can see your doorstep
I can feel my wind rock your tip-top treetop
All around your house there my sunbeam whispers
This land is made for you and me.162
162
This version of This Land Is Your Land comes from Guthries last commercial session, made for Decca
on January 7, 1952. Songwriter and composer, W oody Guthrie wrote numerous songs about hardships and social
injustice.
13
And In Awe of Nature

____________
Date in Re: October 7, 1969

Time(s):
10:15 a.m., 2:00 p.m.
Event:
Looking and thinking
10:15 a.m.
Observed two birds frolicking in the water oak tree nearest to the house. They were chirping
back and forth after an amusing manner likened to two children at play.
Caw, caw went a large black crow in one of the pine trees in the east side of the backyard.
Again, the lone sea gull soared overhead. The sea gull became a very important to me in
the daily overhead panorama__and even
more so after I later read the allegorical
narrative: Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
For like the metaphorical character
Jonathan, what I had been doing since
January 13-14, 1969, was trying to learn
how to as mentally fly alone after a
questioning rather than merely imitative
Fig. 62. s_seagull.jpg. Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
manner.
Then up comes a high-flying jet, and again the natural

scene becomes distorted. Was the white furrow I had
observed a dissipating jet-induced vapor trail, or a
regular cloud formation? For a while, I could not
distinguish which was which. But as I stood there, the
vapor trail began to disintegrate on the cross-grain. The
white furrow did not fade out.
Fig.63. Photo of like cloud formation.
A male Mallard and a female Mallard are

noisily quacking and swimming along the
creek.
Fig. 63.1.Crop of Mallards.jpg. The photo was courtesy of

Pennsylvania Game Commission.
On the same creek, a small green boat slowly glides by. In it are my husband and our eightyear-old daughter Lisa. Both father and daughter appear to be blissfully content. What a
pleasant scene! Wish I could reproduce it.
2:00 p.m.
More white-white clouds have formed. They remind me of cotton candy, . . . and are spread
out like pictures I have seen of something named nebulae. Higher up in the sky are some
feather-like cirrus clouds. This kind of day also reminds me of Indian summer.
Pale soft butterflies flitter near the ground. In the near distance, I see a grey-throated bird
preening its feathers.
Parachutes are coming down in the sky over nearby Fort

Story military base. One is of a different color from all
the others.
Three low-flying bulky propeller-driven planes similar to

the 1970 model plane in Fig.64.1. also arrive__and with
black smoke streaming behind them.
Fig. 64. Crop from setaf.army.mil photo:
DSC_0019.jpg.
Fig.64.1.DHC5.jpg.Credit:
texasbestgrok.mu.nu.
Now military helicopters come into

view from the same direction as the
bulky propeller-driven plane__and also
more paratroopers are coming down.
Fig. 64.2.Crop of official 1964 US Army photo, www.af.mil.
Shortly after, a small yellow bird appears in my backyard,

and I think about how different that natural flying creature
is from the human-made and human-operated flying objects
moving about in the sky above or around me.
Fig.64.3. Yellow House Finch..jpg

photo courtesy of Marina Tidwell.

I certainly would not want to ban planes and parachutes. They are important tools. But it is
also true that these human-made flying things in the sky do disrupt the natural serenity provided by
birds and trees, assorted cloud formations, blue sky, warm sunlight, and caressing gentle breezes.
As the sky becomes more and more cluttered with human-caused air traffic, the question arises:
Will the time come when there will be no pristine or strictly natural sky conditions anywhere on
earth"?
At the end of my notes was the following reminder to myself:
Restudy the equatorial belt with regard to hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, and fossil fuels (oil)
distribution. 163
163
W hich I did.
14
Winter Wonders and Mythical Dilemmas

____________
Date in Re:
December 19, 1969
Featured event: Ring around the moon
ccording to what I have since read on the subject,
a ring or halo around the moon is caused by ice

crystals in the earths upper atmosphere. Where I
grew up this natural phenomenon was generally
interpreted as an indicator of bad weather. Whether it
is true or not, I cannot say.
While standing there (in the side road that curves
into the road where I live) looking up at the halo
around the moon, I thought of wedding rings. Why
were wedding rings invented?
Fig. 65. Crop of photo DSC709.jpg. Credit NASA.
I wear one. My
husband also wears one. And the first reason why both of us do is because it was the custom when
we got married in 1950 for the bride and groom to give each other a ring. A gold (or silver) band
on the third index finger over from the thumb was a sign you were avowed to another, and therefore
no longer eligible for courting. This tradition is, I think, a good one.
And why , I also wonder, was the trip my husband and I took following our wedding reception
called a honeymoon"? Could the compound word: honey+moon be associated to the earths moon
and the sweet stuff found in bee hives? Whatever the history of the compounded word, the
honeymoon honeymoon of my husband and me was extra sweet for both of us.

*
D uring this pre-Christmas time, myth and pretense tend to block the real natural wonders of the
winter season: blanketing snowfalls, frosty trees, glistening icicles; red-berried plants like Nandina
scrubs and Holly trees; red-flowering plants like Poinsettias and cactus, etc., . . . and redbirds
foraging for food.
Young children gradually rid themselves of the Santa Claus myth. But ignorance of how our
species was originated and what happens to us at death makes many of us vulnerable to wishful
thoughts about a messiah(i.e., anointed one) who will come along and give us the answers to our
wonders about the Creative Cause of our species and our ultimate destiny. Well, it does not happen.
There are no real genies. Transcendent experiences can awaken a person to the reality of the
seemingly holy spiritual presence within, but that inner natural source of conscience is not proof of
either (1) the Almightys existence and character or (2) that immortality or continuing mental life
is our ultimate destiny.
*
No more idols for me. To the Creative Cause of the primary cosmic world and that Almighty
Power alone will I submit to humble myself. Albeit the righteous or just way of life is the only
practical choice, the seemingly holy inner spiritual presence does not unfairly pressure us to choose
justice or fair treatment over injustice or cruel treatment. I appreciate that. In contrast, all the
religions with which I am familiar deploy some degree of both (a) the fear of hellish suffering and
(b) promises of reward as a means for keeping and/or acquiring members.
In December 1969, I took no part in the upcoming Christmas (Christ+mass) festivities. The
dilemma continues for me, but I have since found a compromise I can live with. Both my adult
children and their children enjoy coming together and exchanging gifts. The festive tree I now
consent to do features only natural winter season things like snow, icicles, frozen dew drops, nested
birds, and pine cones. Starlight is represented by garlands of mini-white electric lights. Gifts are
wrapped in white paper and white ribbon. The tags include either a blue or pink ribbon marker.
When the gift is to a couple, the package gets a ribbon marker of each color. 164
Whenever I look at the festive tree I with packages beneath it, I think of all the boys and girls
ever born on this planet, including the historical baby Jesus. But none are thought of worshipfully,
164
But now no colored bows like are shown in the ENDNOTES photos.

or with reverence. As far as I am concerned, all human families are hallowed or as blessed. How
each of us chooses to behave and what we involuntarily are, are two very different things.
I use this time to point out the glory of all human life. There are many people who have no
annual birthday celebrations.
Fairy tales of many kinds have been composed by both past and presently existing persons. But
do stories like Hansel and Gretel165convey a psychologically healthy message to young children?
That is a question that had come to mind earlier in the day. If I had it all to do over again, I would
not read this storyor any other story about witches--to my young children. Neither would I read
Little Red Riding Hood 166 to them. Our young need to be told about the dangers within our society
in straightforward explanatory terms. The mere reading of a fairy tale or fable to the young ones
leaves them to do what no young child is mentally capable of doing: decipher the subtle or imprecise
meanings for themselves. Even the comparatively nonviolent fables like the Country Mouse and the
Town Mouse by Aesop can convey an undesirable message. For instance, people of urban
communities are portrayed in a negative slant in this metaphorical tale starring two mouse cousins
As a country-reared child and a city-dweller adult,
I know that there are advantages and
disadvantages to both rural life and urban life.
*
Another question that came up on this date involved the theory that the earth is spinning around
like a top while it orbits around the sun. At the time, I could not grasp that concept. Where, I
asked, is the force causing the earth to spin around? [However, I now recognize that this law
applies to things on the planet earth__not its motion in space].
165
In this story of treachery and abandonment, times are hard and food is scarce when Hansel and Gretel are
deserted in a dark forest by their wicked stepmother and poor father. W hile trying to find their way home, the children
encounter a witch who wants to eat them, but Gretels quick thinking foils her plan. ERL-04
166
the story of a little girl dressed in red who starts on a mission of mercy to her grandmother's house only to
be spied upon and intercepted by a wolf, who then by taking a shortcut arrives at the grandmother's house before the
granddaughter does. The innocent Red discovers the wolf lying in bed disguised as her grandmother. Before the wolf
can devour Red Riding Hood, however, a hunter bursts in and kills him. 2003 Grolier Multimedia Encyclopedia, Deluxe
ed. CD-ROM ( USA: Grolier Interactive, Inc. ; Scholastic, Inc.,2002). GE-03
ENDNOTES
I. The three images below are from photos taken by me in our family room.
Fig. 66.1. Closeup photo of bird in nest.

Fig. 66. Photo of tree.
Fig. 66.2. Closeup photo of some of the packages wrapped by me.
15
The Firmament of Heaven?

____________
Fig. 67. A darkened crop version of a photo by CincoBayou, at picassaweb.com.
Date in Re: January 17,1970

Time:
7:45 p.m.
t the thought of this new year, I was again reminded that we actually do not know what
astronomical year it is. The number 1970 in the above given date represents only the most recent one
thousand, nine hundred and seventy years of human history according to the Gregorian calendar that
was introduced by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582.
Two young observers were out in the yard with me on this chilly winter evening. One was my
nine-year-old daughter Lisa. The other was eight-year-old Allison Stanton, Lisas best friend. The
girls had no comment, as I recall, about the rainbow-toned moon halo on this night. Their attention
was instead focused upon the motley clouds (similar to those in the above photograph) way up in the
sky (or firmament) overhead. I think the technical name given to middle-level cloud formations
of this type is altocumulus clouds.
194
As we stood there together peering upward, Alison says: Its like we dont know where were
going or anything. [How astute. It took me until thirty-seven years of age to recognize that I do not
know where earth is with respect to the whole created cosmic system. . . . and then, only after an
extraordinary spiritual event had left me inspired to take a closer look at what was occurring within
and around about me.] Allison also mentioned having espied two stars in the nighttime heaven part
of celestial space. Lisas response to the same overhead scene was descriptive of the collective cloud
formation: It looks like just a bunch of ice cracking up.
In the background, fifteen-year-old son
David was playing some record about Take a letter, Maria. . . .

Soon, rain began to fall. The girls and I went back into the house.
Beginning with the writing of the Torah scrolls, much has been said about a place called
heaven. The Hebrew word is
ohna
( sha-ma-yim).
ohna
is classified as a dual rather than
plural noun . . . , and why not? Doesnt the sky above have two parts: (a) whats within the
atmosphere and (b) whats beyond it in surrounding cosmic space?
Within the context of Genesis 1:1, the word ohna /heaven means all the things surrounding the
surface of the planet earth (including the atmosphere part). The solar system (which includes the
planet earth and its satellite moon) is in this heavenly space. So are the multitudes of other stars. I
Especially noticeable is the asterism dubbed "The Big Dipper. II Altogether, these celestial lights
make for a dramatic cosmic scene. The clouds we see floating around above us are not in heaven
(i.e., outer space). Neither is dew, rain, nor any other kind of precipitation as manner from outer
heaven. All forms of precipitation develop within the firmament or atmosphere part of the planet
earth. But you have only to read the Genesis description of what surrounds the earths surface to
recognize that the author of those verses did not know where the dividing line is between the edge
of the earths atmosphere and the outer or heavenly space surrounding our entire homeland planet.
Nor did it become a firm reality for me until after the NASA astronauts went off beyond the outer

atmospheric edges of our planet into celestial space and were able to photograph our beautiful home
planet earth from a distance. From the NASA
evidence, images like the artistss impression at
right of the Integralspacecraft in orbit around
Earth have been created for showing the edge
of our planet and solar space beyond.
In-between the earths surface and outer
space ( heaven) is the atmospheric mantle of air
and clouds and electrical particles that sustain
life as we know it__finite organic life. Why, I
wonder, is our home planet the only planet to
have an oxidizing (organic life-supporting)
atmosphere?
Fig. 68. IntegralEarth.jpg. Credit: ESAD.Ducros.
True or not, I continue to find myself thinking that every primary nature thing of earth and in
immediate surrounding space was created for the benefit or interest of the last primary creation: life
forms of limited but real creative being kindour most ancient grandparents.
Is earth not special! Are we human beings not special!
ENDNOTES
I.
Fig. 69. M35-20071103-stacked-2-1280.jpg is courtesy of Anthony Arrigo / www.StarryNightLights.com.
Most of universal space appears to be filled up with individual stars or constellations of stars. The
solar sun provides us with light and heat. Without the sun and the earths unique atmosphere, there
could not be life on earth. But why is the light we call sun classified as a star? Is there any evidence
that one or more of the seemingly lone stars out there are the centers of solar systems?
As it is, the suburbia region where I now reside is so cluttered with street lamps and other
outdoor security lighting, you cannot see the starry sky above, as the poet would say: in all its
glory. But thankfully, there are still some rural places in Tidewater, Virginia, where the view of a
starry night sky is not obscured by our landscaping and other artificial lighting.
The rotation of the Big Dipper formation in the northern celestial hemisphere near the North Pole
allows me to determine when roughly a years worth of 24-hour days have past, but what of the lone
stars which are seemingly not part of any fixed configuration? Why are they there?

II. A downloaded photo of the "big dipper" asterism, with commentary.
"April 29, 2003: It's not the

brightest bunch of stars in
the heavens, but it's surely
the m ost fam iliar: The Big
Dipper. People who have
never seen a dark night
sky can trace its outline,
and it's often the first star
pattern kids learn. Draw a
line through the first two
stars in the bowl. It leads
to Polaris, the north star.
You're never truly lost if
you
can
see
the
Dipper.
Big
Fig. 70. Credit: Don Pettit, ISS Expedition 6 Science Officer, NASA.
It m ust be com forting tolook out the window from the International Space Station (ISS) and see that the Big
Dipper looks just the sam e as it does from Earth. ISS science officer Don Pettit, who hasn't been hom e since
Nov. 2002, captured this picture of the Dipper last m onth.
Actually, he notes, there is one difference: "The stars don't twinkle." Twinkling is caused by irregularities in
Earth's atm osphere that refract starlight to and fro. But in orbit there is no atm osphere. Stars are rem arkably
sharp and steady. Mizar and Alcor close together in the crook of the Dipper's handle are good exam ples: On
Earth it's a good test of eyesight to "split the pair." On orbit they're easy to distinguish.
The Big Dipper is m ost fam iliar to northerners. Southern sky watchers have their own fam ous constellation:
the Southern Cross. The crew of the ISS can see both. Says Pettit: "The Southern Cross looks the sam e from
orbit, too." W hich m eans there's a little bit of com fort up there for everyone.
Editor's note: The Big Dipper is not a constellation, it's an asterism . Asterism s are easily-recognizable patterns
of stars that don't necessarily respect constellation boundaries. The Big Dipper is a subset of stars in Ursa
Major. Another well-known asterism , the Sum m er Triangle, includes stars from three constellations: Cygnus,
Aquila, and Lyra .
16
More Winter Marvels

____________
Date in Re:
January 19, 1970
Time:
3:00 p.m.
Natural Event: Snow showers
ometime during the day snow had begun falling. As I recall, snow showers
were still coming down when my six-year-old daughter Anne went outside to
play in the snow. The shape of the flakes of snow sparked her attention. She
scooped up a cup of the fallen snow and brought it in to show the heap of flakes
to me. At first sight, I wondered if what I was seeing might not be a vision.
But it couldnt have been; for Anne and I were seeing the pieces (pellets) of
Fig. 71. Photo courtesy

of Allan Wissner,
www.AntiqueMicroscopes.com.
snow in the same general forms__ stars and spheres. How nice it would
been to have frozen the scoop of snow and taken a photograph of it to include
here. Alas, I did not think to do that.
My notes include enlarged pencil sketches of the two shapes observed by
Anne and me. See photo image at right.
Fig.71.1. My sketch of the

snow pellets.
I later came across the photograph at left in some paperback

natural science activity book. The included caption is as it appeared in
the article. Was I surprised! But as you can see, one of the snow
pellets in the photograph at left is a six-pointed figure, as are the
common sketched or photographed snowflakes. In fact, every real
individual snowflake is of a hexagonal shape. Thus, my penciled
Fig. 71.2. Snow Pellets (Magnified
Three Times).

drawing in Fig. 71.1. is off by one point on the hexagonal-tipped snow pellets.
The example at left below is of a highly magnified snow crystal is a crop from a photo in public
domain by Wilson Bentley shown at Wikimedia.org. The information contained with it about the
nature of snow crystals is from ERL-04:
Fig. 72.
Snow is actually transparent, although reflection from the many sides

of its crystals makes it appear to be white. A closeup of a snow crystal
reveals its symmetrical structure and hexagonal design. The crystals
form when super cooled water vapor condenses or ice particles collect
around a piece of dust. Partially melted crystals stick to each other to
form snowflakes. All snow crystals have six sides, but each individual
snowflake has a unique pattern.
How fascinating that each snowflake would be of an identical shape, but unique pattern! While
pondering the shape of the snow clusters Anne brought in the house, I began to think about
microscopes, . . . and what a helpful tool they are. Without the aid of a high-powered microscope,
the detailed design of a snow crystal cannot be seen. Microscopes not only allow a person to see
more of natures integral physical designs for the sheer pleasure of seeing them (as with snowflake
crystals), they have also been a great boon to the medical industry. In countless ways, human society
has benefitted from the invention of the microscope. For instance, with the invention of the
compound microscope by the Dutch inventor Zacharias Jansen around 1590, it became possible to
see that bacteria(s) are both injurious and beneficial.
At the same time, we need to keep our natural views in proper perspective. Microscopes show
an unbalanced view. To forget this fact is to put oneself in position to get a distorted impression of
the natural whole. For instance, the beauty of a snowfall can be marred if you start to think of the
snow mounds as nothing more than heaps of unique hexagonal crystals like the ones pictured on these
two pages.
And then there is the fact that nature entities also have parts that cannot be seen--not even with
the modern electron microscope. Like where is the thinker I within the human brain matter?
Recollection of the microscope was, I think, the starting point or as trigger idea behind my
coming to recognize that most (if not all) of nature has two opposing sides to it: the beautiful or

enjoyable one, and the adverse or dangerous one. For instance, the wind-driven surf of the Atlantic
ocean crashing upon the shore during a storm is magnificent. Like the crescendo of a symphony, it
makes me want to shout Bravo! But beneath all that beauty is the undertow part," an invisible and
silent force that can drag you to an untimely death__if you are unaware that it exists, and thus do not
allow for the danger. One close call was enough to cause me to never forget the positive and
negative features of the earths seas.
*
In the days immediately following this event, I also began

thinking about Genetics in general, and the DNA167 code in
particular. The illustration at right (Fig. 73.) is a slightly
modified version of a DNA diagram displayed on internet
by U.S. National Library of Medicine. The original words
were written in a smaller size. In addition, the name of the
national library was barely visible; so, I erased that, and
have included that same information within the image in
larger sized text.
Though of the same basic design, each of us human
Fig. 73. DNA representation illustration.
beings is also as unique as a snowflake. However slight

the DNA difference might be, no two persons are identical. Not even so-called identical twinsof
our species are as duplications (clones) of each other. Once you get to know a set of monozygotic
twins, it becomes apparent they are neither physically nor intellectually identical. Due to subtle
genetic mental differences (e.g., talents, I.Q. level, etc.), the personality also differs from twin to
twin.
We measure matter with matter. And as far as I know, none of our instruments are so
sophisticated they can detect which paired strand of DNA contains the (a) conscious voluntary level
167
A DNA molecule consists of a ladder, formed of sugars and phosphates, and four nucleotide bases: adenine
(A), thymine (T), cytosine ( C), and guanine (G). The genetic code is specified by the order of the nucleotide bases,
and each gene possesses a unique sequence of base pairs. Scientists use these base sequences to locate the position of
genes on chromosomes and to construct a map of the entire human genome. ERL-04

mind's I part of us mental beings and which contains (b) the subconscious or involuntary level part
of our mental self(s) that forms and projects dreams and other involuntary presentations.
From the very beginning of this phenomenal spiritual experience in January 1969, I have had
to think about Charles Darwins theory on the origination of our species as well as the biblical
fictionalized one. With no formal training in zoology, paleontology, botany, or like life science
courses, it has been necessary for me to go slow in responding to Mr. Darwin's theory about the
various species of organic life having slowly evolved into existence by way of "natural selection.168
Natural selection implies involuntary action. In turn, involuntary natural action implicates
the unknown Creative Mental Power that designed primary involuntary nature. What I do not find
plausible is the notion that both the monkey species and our species evolved from the same (now
extinct) parental species. Nor do I think of nonhuman organic life as organic beings," like Mr.
Darwin did in the first paragraph of chapter III of his book:
Before entering on the subject of this chapter, I must make a few preliminary remarks, to show
how the struggle for existence bears on Natural Selection. It has been seen in the last chapter that
amongst organic beings in a state of nature there is some individual variability. ERL:04
In the introduction part of Charles' book, there are also numerous times when he refers to
animals as beings or organic beings. It starts with:
When on board H.M.S. 'Beagle,' as naturalist, I was much struck with certain facts in the distribution
of the organic beings inhabiting South America, and in the geological relations of the present to the
past inhabitants of that content. These facts, as will be seen in the latter chapters of this volume,
seemed to throw some light on the origin of speciesthat mystery of mysteries, as it has been called
by one of our greatest philosophers.
On page 88 of Charles Darwin and the Evolution Revolution,169 the author states:
Darwin rightly called the Origin 'one long argument' against miraculous divine creation. In the last
chapter, he summed up the argument, closing with a paragraph that captures the sense of wonder
168
TOS
169
Rebecca Stefoff , (New York, NY: Oxford University Press, Inc.,1996), 88. CDER

that nature and its laws held for him. Darwin had no need to imagine supernatural mysteries--the
earthly world before his eyes was enough to inspire him.
I, too, am inspired by the wonders of the natural world around about me__ but there is still the
Creative Source responsible for "natural selection" to account for. Neither do I interpret Charles
Darwin to be saying that there is no Supernal Creative Mental Power. From what I recall of Mr.
Darwin's book about the origination of the various species, he does not say that he disbelieves in
the existence of an Absolute Creative Cause. It seems to me that what he is talking about is the
specific means or exact process by which the envisioned Almighty Thou caused each species to
come into existence on earth. What he disagrees with is the biblical author(s) assertion that each
species was directly created in six days (i.e., twenty-four hours). In the closing paragraph of the
introduction portion of his book, Mr. Darwin presents the following opinion:
Although much remains obscure, and will long remain obscure, I can entertain no doubt, after the
most deliberate study and dispassionate judgment of which I am capable, that the view which most
naturalists until recently entertained, and which I formerly entertained--namely, that each species
has been independently created--is erroneous. I am fully convinced that species are not immutable;
but that those belonging to what are called the same genera are lineal descendants of some other
and generally extinct species, in the same manner as the acknowledged varieties of any one
species are the descendants of that species. Furthermore, I am convinced that Natural Selection
has been the most important, but not the exclusive, means of modification.
Among the used books I purchased during 1969 was one entitled Made Simple Self-Teaching
Library: Biology.170 Various kinds of data were presented in support of the origination of the species
by way of organic evolution. One example was some hand-drawn sketches representative of the
embryos of the fish, the turtle, the bird, and man [the human being species]. The similarity of all
vertebrates in their early gestation phase is evidence, the author says, in support of the theory of
organic evolution. Although there is an acute difference between the reproductive process for living
things of animal kind and us human beings, it is not mentioned in this chapter on evolution. Other
than the footnote about the word Man/man, I shall quote the summation from page 169 of the book,
170
Ethel R. Hanauer, Biology Made Simple (New York: Made Simple Books, Inc., 1956). BMS

and then follow with my editorial commentary:
"THE EVOLUTION OF MAN [The word man should read: Humankind, or Human Being].
These are indisputable facts:
Man belongs to the Animal Kingdom.
Man is a vertebrate animal.
Man is a mammal.
Man is a member of the Primate group of mammals (flexible-fingered, well-developed brain,
nails on fingers and toes) to which monkeys, gorillas, chimpanzees and apes belong.
Man is the only member of a family group called Hominidae of which there is but one
known species, Homo sapiens (wise man).
It is believed [by whom?, I ask] that man and monkeys are related indirectly through a
common ancestor which is referred to popularly as the missing link.
Why would there not be some similarity between our species and the various utilitarian species
of animal kind?
Like ourselves, the aforementioned species of animal kind are composed of
certain unique arrangements of H, C, N, and O and few other trace atomic elements. But the fossil
evidence does not, in my opinion, support the notion that the primates (monkey, gorilla, etc.) and
the human being species evolved from the same ancestral species. All the life forms that became
extinct before first human creative mental powers were obviously caused to phase out by way of
natural involuntary means. Suppose those pre-human organisms were designed to only be able to
reproduce themselves a limited number of generations? But regardless of why or how it was
accomplished, the extinction of those pre-human life forms was of natural involuntary order.
Neither, I would note, does behaving after a harsh or brutish manner make any one of us as an
animal. Depending upon the circumstances, such behavior may make a person either an ill or
cowardly human being, but not a living thing of animal kind. Only we organic living things of
creative human being kind can and do make mistakes, even willful or sinful ones. There is no other
species of life on earth in our class. Again, the proper name for our species is humankind, human
being, human species, or like inclusive general terms.
Now for the word mammal. In the glossary of the fore-referred textbook, mammals are defined

as:
"Vertebrates which have hair on their bodies, breathe by means of lungs, bear their young alive and
nourish their young with milk from mammary glands."
In the Oxford English Pocket Dictionary 171 in WordPerfect Office 12, the word mammal is defined
as:
a warm-blooded vertebrate animal that has hair or fur, secretes milk, and (typically) bears live
young.
While many animals do also bear and nurse live young, the reproductive process for living things
of animal kind it totally involuntary. Neither can any animal create anything. Making a nest, or
constructing a dam or burrow is not something an animal consciously chooses to do. Like the
reproductive activity, the nesting activity is an involuntary action. No animal species is a kind of
human being; and we human beings are not any kind of animal species.
We are unique, a class of only one species. Of all the male living things in existence on earth,
only the reproductively adult male of human being m u s t c h o o s e to provide the sperm for the
conception and bearing of young by a reproductively adult female human being in order for the
reproductive process to begin.
gShould not the criteria for classifying or grouping all living organisms be based on how the
reproductive process is begun rather than how it is completed?
Yes, we human beings are in a class all to ourselves. We are organically embodied creative mental
powers of mortal life kind. We are not any kind of beast. Of all organic life, only we human beings
can design or originate new things. That is what makes us such a special kind of life form.
Although of limited mental powers and short term finite existence, we are real creative mental
powers. That is why we are special, even unique among all living things of earth. It is neither our
171
by Oxford University Press. OEPD

gender, race (or racial blend), nor nationality that makes each of us worthy of respect; it is w h a t
we are: finite level creative mental powers.
Through sexual intercourse, those original or first-generation human DNA's have become
blended and cross-blended. But the genetic inheritance of each of us presently exiting human
beings began with the first begetting-conceiving of children by the as Adams and Eves of our species
an indeterminate number of years ago. What a long binary/dual paternal-maternal "family tree"
chain each of us has!
May we please try to let our speaking and writing represent that apparent truth. The insulting
historically-evolved practice of using the
masculine case words man or mankind as the
name of our duo-gendered species is totally
unwarranted. While all men are human beings,
not all human beings are of the male gender.
Every gendered species needs to be referred
to via a collective name rather than a genderspecific one. For instance, not all cattle are of
the male gender. Bull is to a male bovine animal
as cow is to a female bovine animal.
Although not reflective of all four basic races
of us, the photo at left (found at an Australian
website:hreoc.gov.au) is illustrative of our binary
gendered human being nature: mankind and
Fig. 74. Photo of a Bush family, Snake Bay, Melvile Island, is
courtesy of Heide Smith.
womankind.
17
Obscurity
____________
Date in Re: February 1970

Time:
Event: Fog172
Other Topics: Animals, and fossil
remains
n the photo at right, the fog obscures
the sunlight. On this morning in 1970,

the fog was so thick I could barely
make out the pier at the edge of my
back yard (which was in good shape).
However, the foggy weather did not
Fig. 75. Photo of fog scene viewed from my backyard taken by me.
stop the gulls from flying this morning. As if daring the pull of gravity, the great birds were
soaring, diving, rising, and circling to soar and dive again. As previously mentioned, the sea gull
became very special to me during this eighteen-month period. Maybe it was because there was
nearly always at least one of these graceful winged creatures flying overhead.
February is the month of the groundhog myth. According to the legend, the groundhog comes
out of its burrow on February 2 to see if cold weather will continue__if its hibernation time is over.
If it can see its shadow, the groundhog would return to its underground burrow, and we could expect
172
I.e., 1. A thick cloud of tiny water droplets suspended in the atmosphere at or near the earth's surface
which obscures or restricts visibility. OEPD

six more weeks of cold weather. On this foggy
day in February 1970, would I have seen any
groundhog running around celebrating the coming
of an early spring? Not by my beliefs; but from
what I have heard, Groundhogs Day is celebrated
each year in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.
February does have some mixed temperatures.
You can have some very warm days, even
springlike temperatures. But before the months
end, there can be a blizzard. The weather patterns
Fig. 76. Crop of a photo shared with me by Tina Williams.
I am alluding to here are those peculiar to the city
of Virginia Beach, the Atlantic coastal community where I reside.

Foggy weather can make a person feel gloomy. There was a time in my life when a foggy day
was a downer; but nowadays, I find that it can be kind of cozy to have my residence surrounded
by a veil of misty fog.
Since even small patches of fog increase the risk of collision between both highway vehicular
traffic and water craft traffic, is it not shallow (or worse) of me to enjoy a foggy day now and then?
Well, I cannot stop the fog from occurring. Thats a fact. What I can do is choose to stay off
the highway and off the waterways . . . and enjoy the weather change. Because of the reduced
visibility, those whose jobs require them to be out in the fog need to be extra cautious when driving
a boat, car, or any other vehicle in foggy weather. Is it not true that most of the vehicular and boat
collisions that occur during foggy or other inclement weather are due to people not adjusting their
speed and distancing to fit the change-in-weather?
I lack the measuring equipment and scientific skills with which to determine how much of the
foggy matter I see around my residence is instead the health hazard: smog (i.e., a mixture of solid
and liquid fog and smoke particles from factories, automotive vehicles, and incinerators).
M ore about animals versus ourselves

It would also be to our advantage, I think, to stop calling the fur on animals hair, and animal
hide as skin. I no longer do. The words hair and skin are reserved for helping to distinguish
people from animals.
We degrade and dishonor our position within the hierarchy of organic life on earth when we label
or otherwise treat ourselves as if we were instead some species of animal kind. As I have noted
before, animal behavior is reactionary. Although some of our infant movements (e.g., rolling over,
crawling, pulling up) appear to be of involuntary reaction, most of our actions are by choice rather
than involuntary reaction. In truth, we human beings cannot even take a step forward unless we
consciously chose to do so.
Birds do not choose to fly. They fly because it is of their involuntary nature to do so. Fish do
not swim because they choose to do so. Ground hogs and other burrowing animals do not burrow
in the ground part of the time because they choose to do so. Bears do not hunt for fish because they
choose to swim. Neither do snakes slither along the ground because they have chosen to do so. Nor
do young sea turtles head out to sea shortly after they are hatched because they have chosen to go
swimming. And neither do animals kill other animals because they choose to do so; only living
things of human kind are capable of choosing to kill.
Although not every killing by us is premeditated or planned, rarely is an act of murder totally
accidental. Whether committed in a moment of carelessness, rage, terror, insanity or coldblooded premeditation, murder is a chosen rather than involuntary action.
Fossils?
How authentic are the reproductions of the fossil remains of vertebrates that have been found
to date? The skeletal remains part of an animal or human being does not show what the rest of the
body looked like when it was alive. I would think that it would be impossible to do an authentic
reproduction of the whole body from bones alone. And how can the gender of a human skeleton
be determined by the scull part alone? Since the photograph that was referred to in an article copied
from ERL-04 (and shown on the next page) is listed as that of a female human being, a pelvis bone

of the female kind must have been found with the scull:
Fossils of tools and the skeletons of large mammals found near fossils of Homo erectus, or upright
man [human being], suggest that these human ancestors led more complicated lives than earlier
species. Although the anatomical structure of this species resembles that of modern humans,
anthropologists have found that the human brain underwent many changes during the evolution from
Homo erectus to modern humans. Anthropologists believe that Homo erectus lived between 1.5
million and 0.3 million years ago. This skull belonged to a female Homo erectus of the Beijing type.
Tom McHugh/Field Museum, Chicago/Photo Researchers, Inc.
The photo of a fossil human scull at Wikipedia.org is reportedly that of a male human being.
H. erectus originally migrated from Africa during the Early

Pleistocene, possibly as a result of the operation of the Saharan
pump, around 2.0 million years ago, and dispersed throughout most
of the Old World. Fossilized remains 1.8 and 1.0 million years old
have been found in Africa (e.g., Lake Turkana[1] and Olduvai
Gorge), Europe (Georgia, Spain), Indonesia (e.g., Sangiran and
Trinil), Vietnam, and China (e.g., Shaanxi).
Fig. 77. Wikimedia Commons photo

of homo erectus scull in Natural History
Museum, Anne Arbor, MI.
Not all Ameroid people have identical bone structures. In fact,

there is m u c h variety in every race. And in each sub-variety,
there is also much variation from individual to individual. Neither
are all faces and other parts of the outer body of each race of human being kind identical. How, then,
can the framework or skeletons of any two people be identical? And if the pelvis bone is not found
with the scull, how can the gender of the specimen be positively identified?
Truly representative reproductions of deceased vertebrates cannot be done when only a few
skeleton parts are all that remains of the animal carcass (or a human corpse). I am not suggesting
that reproductions should only be done if the carcass or body is found intact. However, both young
children and adults n e e d t o b e r e m i n d e d that the reproductions they are viewing in a book,
electronic reference source, museum, or science class are not to be taken as mirror-image
likenesses.

Just think about how much difference occurs in the shape, hair, and skin of a human body
between early adulthood and the senior or old age. If you have ever been to a fortieth or fiftieth
year high school class reunion, you know how hard it can be to match up the faces of the people at
the reunion with the faces of those persons in the classs graduation yearbook. Weight gains and
weight losses change the outer appearance of the whole body. Loss of teeth can alter the facial
curves. In most instances, full false teeth replacement dentures do too.
18
From Health to Sickness

____________
Date in Re: Late February, 1970

Topic:
Drug Addiction
Epitaph for an LSD Addict

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) A week
ago, Craig D Gardner, a handsome,
19-year-old postal worker, got up
early. He went to work for a few
hours, visited his mother briefly, then
went to his apartment and made a tape
recording.
Then he drove from Salt Lake City
to a remote area of W yoming and, the
county coroner ruled, shot himself.
The tape recording was found by a
roommate and played at Craig*s
funeral a rambling, man*s struggle
with the drug LSD.
His parents released a portion of the
tape Saturday, saying it might alert
others who use drugs.
W e hope to God it will help
somebody else, said his mother, Mrs.
W illiam Blain of Salt Lake City.
Here is what her son said in his
last hours:
I can*t think . . . can*t think
. . . can*t think..
W ell, about all I have to say
is actually, the real reason is that I
really don*t know
(pause) I*ll tell you one thing, Dave,
(his roommate) and anyone else who*s

listening, you can really get messed up
on that stuff.
You might hear about it sooner or
later, Mom I*m sorry, Mom, Dad
and Bill I*m sorry that your little boy
has turned into an LSD addict.
It*s bad news it really is. I didnt
think it was when I was first taking it,
but I*ve been getting pretty stoned
lately, and you just don*t know what's
real and what isn*t real. You really
don*t.
All I can say is, I had to find out
myself kind of a poor excuse, you
know but I really shouldnt have
taken any dope at all any acid
(LSD) and I shouldnt*t really have
started off with any grass.
Marijuana, either. Of course, grass
isn*t bad it*s the acid that got to me.
Tell you one thingafter you take
so much of that stuff, you just really
don*t know where youre at sometimes
. . . I mean, I don*t think I am, but
what I*ve heard is that a person who
thinks he's insane . . . or something
would never admit it to himself . . .
"I had enough problems of my own

without even taking LSD to keep my
mind bent. W ell, actually what acid
does is it intensifies everything to a
great extent . . . .
All I know is I*m going to be in one
hell of a fix when I have to face
the Big Man up in Heaven. I*m not
saying that with disrespect for the Big
Man. I*m just saying it because I felt
like saying it. And it says in the Bible
that he who kills himself will not be
resurrected W ell, this is the great
punishment that I*m bestowing upon
myself, not only physically, but, for
what I've read, I*m going to be
suffering eternally for this.
I have thought it over many times
and there really isn*t anything to live
for. I don*t think there is. And I really
don*t think anyone could convince me
that there is not me, anyway . . .
Then he drove to Wyoming and

killed himself.

Drugs can save lives. Drugs can also destroy lives. The unedited article on the previous page
about how drug addiction led to the untimely death of a nineteen-year-old man is an OCR (optical
character recognition) scanned copy of one that appeared in The Virginian-Pilot newspaper around
the time of Washingtons Birthday holiday, February 22, 1970.173
On the day the article: Taped Voice From the Grave, Epitaph for an LSD Addict appeared in The
Virginian-Pilot, I could hardly bear reading it all the way through. Picturing the behavior of any
person hooked on LSD or some other illicit drug was too awful to bear. Suppose one of my sons or
daughters should. . . .?
My cigarette-smoking habit was probably another reason why I felt uncomfortable when
reading about Craig Gardners tragic end. And although I did not consider it to be an addiction, the
effects upon my energy level and sense of well-being produced by the prescribed diet-pill I was taking
each day for weight management may have also contributed to my not wanting to think about drug
addiction. I was also mistakenly thinking that substance abuse only pertained to LSD-users, etc.
back alley or subculture dope addicts. A more detailed commentary on drug usage and adverse
consequences is included with the entry for April 1974 on page 251: And Often Back Again.
____________
Epilogue
n this particular case, I thought it would be better to do the editing part separately. The portion of
the article I wish to respond to is as follows:
All I know is Im going to be in one hell of a fix when I have to face the Big Man in Heaven. Im
not saying that with disrespect for the Big Man. Im just saying it because I felt like saying it. And
it says in the Bible that he who kills himself will not be resurrected. Well, this is the great
punishment that Im bestowing upon myself, not only physically, but, for what Ive read, Im going
to be suffering eternally for this.
173
In 1970, this past US presidents life was commemorated on February 22. That national holiday has
since been dropped. George W ashingtons birthday is now celebrated along with that of Abraham Lincoln and others
on the third Monday in February each year as Presidents Day.

First of all, there is the Big Man phrase.
More than once I had overheard some man or women refer to the presumed Creative Cause/Owner
of the primary world as the man upstairs. But up to viewing the article about Mr. Gardners
suicide, I had not heard or seen the Almighty or Absolute Mental Power called The Big Man.
Whereas I do not believe that any disrespect was intended by the young man when he referred to our
Maker as the Big Man," the expression is nonetheless a disrespectful one. The Big Woman
would, of course, be equally disrespectful if it were ascribed to the Almighty Thou.
Craig D. Gardners use of Big Man as a synonym for The Almighty Creative Mental Poweris
one more proof in support of my standing argument that the practice of referring to the Creative
Cause of our species by gender-associative words (e.g., God, He, Him, His, or Lord) invariably
leads to the habit of visualizing the Infinite Creative Cause of the cosmic world as likened to the
male human being in both form and character traits. And that is not a good thing__not at all!
Neither any man nor any woman is of an infinite nature. Thus, we accomplish nothing useful by
portraying the unknown Almighty Thou as having a human body, etc. other limiting physical and
mental finite life characteristics.
For example, Michelangelos The
Creation of Adam (a detail of the
ceiling fresco in the Sistine Chapel in
Rome) is another instance of the false
imagery that invariably arises from the
habit of ascribing a sex/gender and other
human characteristics to the envisioned
Creative Cause of our species. In this
artistic representation of Genesis 2:7,
the Almighty Creative Mental Power is
portrayed as likened to a big whiskered
Fig. 78. Image courtesy of www.fineartscreensavers.com.
man. I ask you: What life form is a

young child most likely to think of when espying the figure on the right side of the picture: a father,
a mother, or the unknown Creative Cause of hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, etc. molecules

of atoms of which the various parts of the primary cosmic world were constructed? Again, God,
Goddess, He, Her, etc. gender-specific words evoke images of male bodies
and female bodies of human kind.
Another example of literary-related false imagery are the various
ancient Greek deity-statues (like the bust of Zeus at right). They were
beautifully sculptured--but also necessarily modeled after finite level male
and female human beings.
Point of Fact:
gThe only likenesses of creative being kind that can be sketched,
sculptured, or photographed are those d o n e o f u s b y u s .
Fig. 79. Otricoli_Zeus_1889

drawing, wikimedia, PD.
Secondly, we do not know that eternal or immortal life is our ultimate destiny. Thus, in
all fairness, we cannot affirm anything with certainty concerning the ultimate consequences of
suicide (self-murder). When in comes to the ultimate destiny of our souls and the ultimate
consequences of our wrongdoing, there have not been and are not now any experts. What is not
mortally knowable is not mortally knowable. Be they of the religious caliber or scientific caliber,
our beliefs and value standards are always open to question and review; for no human being is
completely wise or all-knowing.
When in doubt regarding ultimate issues like (1) the existence of an Absolute Creative Mental
Power, (2) the character of this Power, (3) right and wrong conduct, and (4) our ultimate destiny,
I suggest you take it to the top. That is, present your concerns, doubts, and wonders to the Almighty
Thou directly. No one else can do it for you.

In the first column of the Virginian-Pilot article, Craig D Gardners mother is quoted as having
said (and I do include my editing here):
We hope to God [The Almighty Power] it will help somebody else.
I , for one, am grateful to Craig Gardners parents for sharing these portions of their sons taperecorded suicide note with the Associated Press. I really am. It cannot have been easy for them to
make such a personal thing a matter of public record.
19
From Stage to Stage

____________
Date in Re:
Site:
Time:
Topics:
Near March 22, 1970

Front yard of family residence
7:45 p.m.
B i g moon and fundamental elements
n this date, it was Anne who summoned me to come out and
see the b i g moon. I went out into the front yard to see what she
was talking about. Sure enough, the full (or near full) moon in the
southeastern part of the sky appeared to be very, very large. In
Fig.80. Crop of a NASA photo (KSC

00pp0091.jpg) of full moon viewed from
FL, USA.
fact, I could not recall ever having seen it so huge and so low in the sky. But it is also true that
before January 14, 1969, I had not been in the habit of checking out each days marvelous natural
phenomena. Now I was looking, really looking at the natural wonders around about me, and
noticing how they involuntarily operate.
According to what I have since read in various reference sources, a full moon is closer to the earth
than a new moon is. This date in 1970 was also the time of the spring/vernal equinox.174 I suppose
that could have affected the appearance of the full moon on this date.
174
One of the two times of a year when the suns position makes day and night of equal length in all parts
of the earth. The vernal equinox occurs around March 21 and marks the beginning of the spring season in the
northern hemisphere.
ERL-04

When observing the thunder and lightening electrical storm raging outside the patio sliding glass
doors back in April 1969, I had found myself thinking of masculinity. An electrical storm is
certainly not likely to cause one to think of softness, modesty, or a demure force. While standing
outside in awe before the huge low-hung full moon in March 1970, I thought of femininity. And
compared to the bright or harsh glaring daytime sunlight, the reflected moonlight is soft and
sensuous. Moonlit nights are so romantic; at least, that is one of the effects that a full moon has
upon me. My most favorite time to go boating is during a moonlit night. The glimmer of the moon's
reflected light upon the waters of the broad bay near my residence is both esthetically pleasing and
emotionally relaxing.
*
While I was writing about the b i g moon event the next day,
the word druid came to mind. The associated feeling was
unpleasant, bothersome. For one thing, I could not remember
ever having heard or seen that word before. Since then, and
especially since I began work on this review in May 1996, I have
come to realize that there have been many, many visual and
audio images that my eyes and/or ears have conveyed to my inner
mental self of which I have no conscious recollection. But I
have also come to recognize that whether of spontaneous or
deliberated recollection, no word image of either audio or graphic
kind can be recalled to mind unless it is already stored in mind.
Fig. 81. Two Druids image found at PD of

Wikimedia.org. Commons.
We can originate new words, form compounds of stored word images, and misspell stored word
images, but we cannot recall an audio or visual memory image of a word we have never seen, felt
(as with Braille raised dots), or heard uttered before. So why didnt I look up the word druid that
day? Although I did not yet know all the reasons why, it was my thought that historical religious
views needed be handled with great care. Also, confronting and dealing with my fears and
semantical issues after a thorough manner had not yet become a commonplace daily activity for me.

Considering what is said in volume 5 of the 1966 edition of The World Book Encyclopedia 175
about the word "druid," I can understand why my initial emotional reaction to the word was one of
distaste as well as apprehension. Religious ideas and practices of the sort recounted of within the
context of the article have always been repulsive to me. But of pertinent interest, druid is reported
to have been associated to the light of the full moon":
"DRUID, DROO ihd, was a member of a priestly cult among ancient Celts in France, England, and
Ireland. These priests worshiped some gods [deities] similar to those of the Greeks and Romans,
but under different names. In forests and caves they gave instructions, foretold events, and
administered justice.
People know very little about Druid rites, because the priests handed down their doctrines by
word of mouth, and swore their members to secrecy. The Druids held as sacred the hours of
midnight and noon, the oak tree, and the mistletoe. . . . They forecast events by interpreting the flight
of birds and markings on the liver and other entrails of sacrificed animals. The folklore of early
Ireland depicts Druids as offering human sacrifice. Some scholars think they used the structure at
Stonehenge as a place of worship. . . . A group whose members call themselves Druids meet now
at Stonehenge [176] every year during the summer solstice. They conduct rites which they believe
are like those of the ancient Druids . . . .Wilson D. Wallis."
However,
. . .
Dont want to think about this was my reaction to the spontaneously
remembered word druid on this day in 1970. For whatever combining reasons, my thinking quickly
shifted to focus upon the components of the English language, especially the s o u n d components.
Unless one is deaf and/or blind, it is the audio version of alphabetic words that are used in silent
praying as well as human-to-human oral discourse.
Again, there was the sense of heightened cognizance or a fuller awareness of fundamentals. I
was not merely remembering the appearance of a listing of graphic forms: Aa, Bb, Cc, . . . and Zz
which I had been taught to represent the sound units. Now I was perceiving these twenty-six
differing graphical forms as the unique set of humand-made elements from which the entire English
vocabulary is constructed. Indeed, every word in every language is merely an arrangement or one
175
50th Anniversary Edition (Chicago, IL: Field Enterprises Educational Corporation, 1965). W BE
176
Near Salisbury, England

or more combining letters or other unique symbols (e.g., hand signs, Braille bumps, Morse code,
et cetera).
During the days that followed, I looked through books I had here at home to see if I could find
a chart of the English alphabet. The one I found was small and not very legible. See Endnote I for
a scanned version of a chart I have since found in an article on the development of the alphabet in
a sample copy of volume 1 of The New Book of Knowledge.177
*
When I began focusing upon what I am actually doing when praying or writing, I recognized
that I think and compose phonetically. The only time I do it visually is if I do not know how to
pronounce the word or other symbols I am thinking of. For instance, I remember vuvh by either
its appearance or (from right to left) the names of its consonant letters: Yod, Hay, Vav, Hay. As
previously explained, the original vowel sounds of
vuvh are unknown. YeHoVaH is a pseudonym
pronunciation devised by the group of Jewish scholars who (around the ninth or tenth century)
developed a set of vowel signs and other diacritical signs to aid with the correct pronunciation of the
words in the Hebrew Scriptures.
The only difference between my silent prayers and my spoken ones is the applied physical vocal
cords part. The same thing holds true with writing. While I am writing, I am simultaneously
silently thinking out the oral version (unless not known) of the words as I am typing or handinscribing.
I have elaborated upon the phonetic aspect of words because so many people have interpreted
spontaneous worded thoughts to be voices of either (a) some infinitely-existing Supernal mental
power or (b) the divine presence (conscience) within.
Take six aspirin and lay face down on the floor is an example of a spontaneous expression that
appeared before my conscious level minds I on the morning of January 15, 1969. I did not,
however, interpret this assertion as a commandment from the spiritual presence/(
vuvh
). It was
a notion. In my self-imposed submitted state, I was more vulnerable than usual to experiencing
babbling thoughts. Any time you suppress voluntary or deliberated thinking and allow whatever
177
(Danbury, CT: Grolier Incorporated, 1980). NBK

thought comes to mind to flow, you will get some spontaneous expressions. When I pray or
meditate, it is more often than not a question and rebuttal process. Some ideas that I get following
a prayerful inquiry are sensible; some are not. It may take awhile, even many days to get a helpful
one. The mere act of praying, however, always helps. As for the aspirin thing, who knows what
information I may have heard or seen on aspirin sometime in the past that may have included
something related to nuclear fallout? In all instances, an idea needs to be evaluated for its logical
content.
*
From a review of the components of English words, phrases, sentences, . . . and books, I then
moved on to think about:
g t h e s t ruct ure of al l thi ngs i n term s of t hei r component part s .
Whether the thing under consideration be an Oak seed or the entire planet earth, every material
thing on earth and surrounding created cosmic world is composed of certain specific arrangements
of one or more molecules of atoms (e.g., Hydrogen, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen, et cetera).
Most atoms occur in the form of molecules. A molecule consists of two or more atoms of the
same kind. For instance, water (H2O) is a natural compound made up of two molecules of Hydrogen
atoms and one molecule of Oxygen atoms.
According to the authors of Biology: Life On Earth,178 the human body is made up of 9.5% H,
18.5% C, 3.3%N, and 65% O. Varying small trace amounts of He, Na, Mg, P, S, Cl, K, Ca, and
Fe atoms make up the remaining 3.7 %.
178
One Gerand Audesirk and Teresa Audesirk, (New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, a division of
Macmillian, Inc., 1989). B-LOE

The color-coded Periodic Table below includes a listing of the approximate 92 naturally
occurring atoms from which all organisms of earth and other things in the cosmos are made. Those
with numbers greater than 92 were artificially created by scientists:
Fig. 82. I have tried to relocate the website where this table came from, but to date I have not been able
to do so. It must have been removed.
During the year I was a student at ODC, I spent quite a bit of time studying about the physics
of primary matter. The basic premise of The Atomic Theory is that all finite things are made up of
some arrangement of one or more of the primary chemical elements.179 However, not much time was
spent in class on the general theory. The main theme of the course was how these unique
fundamental elements can combine to form chemical compounds (e.g., water, sand, table salt). It
does appear to be true that all finite entities are composed of some unique arrangement of one or
more discrete part i cl es .
179
"Of the 109 known elements, 89 occur naturally on Earth. The rest are made artificially.__ Steve
Setford, Science Facts ( London: Dorling Kindersley, Ltd., 1996), 14. SF

What I learned in Chemistry 101 is also of philosophical importance, for does it not follow that
the Cause of the primary elements (atoms) is necessarily the Cause of the primary stars,
planets, moons, etc. and the first generation of our species?
As for language, all human language systems have been originated by one or more of us mortal
creative powers. According to the documentation I have examined, the first alphabet was created
by a group of ancient Middle Easterners called Phoenicians. Although the Hebrew alphabet is not
included on the chart at Endnote I of this chapter, the Phoenician letters on this chart are the same
as those of the Hebrew Semitic letters: alef," beth," . . . and tau/taw (tav)."
Language changes because people change it. The evolution of Shakespearean English into
modern English has been occurring
over hundreds of years. This pictured
carving on William Shakespeares
tombstone indicates that the sound U
was represented by the consonant V at
the time of this renowned dramatist's
Fig. 83. Image scanned from pg. 272 of vol. 17 of WBE.
death.
In modern English, the same inscription would be spelled as:
GOOD
F R IE N D F O R J E S U S S A K E F O R E B E A R
T O D IG T H E D U S T
B LESSED
AND
BE
EN CLO SED H ER E!
THE M AN THAT SPARES
CURSED BE
HE
THAT
M OVES
STONES,
180
MY BONES.
THESE
To my recollection, I had never previously observed anyone else to have compared (a) the
alphabet and words to (b) atoms and the primary creations. So you can imagine how encouraged
180
According to boxed note on page 277 of volume 17, "Most of the illustrations in this article, taken from
books published before 1641, were selected for TH E W O RLD BO O K ENCY CLO PEDIA with the assistance of the Folger
Shakespeare Library, W ashington, D.C."

I felt when I later came upon the following comment about the word atoms in volume one of
Groliers encyclopedia, NBK:
The elements are like the letters of the alphabet. There are only 26 letters. Yet, millions of words
are made by combining them in different ways. The compounds of matter are like the words, but
they are made up of elements [atoms] instead of letters.
This whole vision-based series led me to as backtrack into time and rethink the fundamental
elements of everything. My focus continues to be on trying to link or discern the causes of
consequences. Not only is there an answer to every question, there are also one or more causes for
every event.
The word elements has also been used to refer to components other than molecules of atoms.
For instance, there is the human-devised Arabic set of numerals 0, 1, 2, 3, . . . 9, and the humancreated set of operational signs (e.g., +, -, = ,etc.) with which innumerable mathematical
computations and recordkeeping are done.
In addition, there are the
various basic notes signs
used in writing sheet music.
Regardless of what the
whole is that we might be
considering, it is important
to try to identify all of its
specific
constituent
component parts.
or
Fig. 84. Scanned copy of an image at top of page 788 of vol. 13 of WBE.
20
An Interim Moment
____________
Date in Re: July 2, 1970
o visions were experienced on this, the twentieth wedding anniversary of my husband and me.
If there were any gifts exchanged between the two of us, I have no recollection of them. But I do
recall ( and have kept) the greeting card my husband and I received from our seventeen-year-old
son, James, Jr. Here is a scanned copy of the cover and inside message of that treasured reminder
of how many joys I have experienced during the years James, Sr. and I have been married to each
other.
Fig. 85. Photo of scanned card parts taken by me.

But to make an understatement, things were not typical in our household between January 14,
1969, and late December 1971. For instance, I would no longer participate in the annual family
ritual of decorating a traditional garish Christmas tree and exchanging gifts in honor of the birth
day of a dead man named Jesus. My sudden break away from the religion my husband and I had
been reared to was hard for him and other close family members to adjust to.
It was challenging for me, too; but from the onset of the transcendent experience, it was clear
to me that only the Almighty Thou could possibly be due worship or reverence. Thus, I had to
resist all idolatrous practices--even if my refusal to support the practices might result in my being
shunned by both family and friends.
Additional stress was put upon my husband and children by the changes that had occurred in my
housekeeping work habits. During the months that followed between January 14, 1969, and this
date in mid-1970, documenting the visions and following up with reading and studying did not
allow much time for domestic chores. Consequently, it was not uncommon to find beds unmade,
books and other reference materials cluttering the floor, and a layer of dust upon the furniture.
Our wedding vows and our love for our children helped my husband and me through those times
when, for one reason or another, we were not feeling kindly toward one another.
*
A ccording to the following notes, romance and marriage was the featured theme of this date:
First big decision
Rod McKuen, a timely poet
What of marriage between very first persons?
First big decision? By first big decision," I was thinking of my decision to follow through
with the scheduled wedding of my fiance`and me on July 2, 1950. Becoming engaged and making
plans to get married was far different from actually doing it. No vows were exchanged during the
engagement and the wedding rehearsal parts. To me (at that time in my life), a wedding vow was
a forever kind of commitment. Once done, there was no undoing it.

Rod McKuen"? This is the name of a husky-voiced man who writes and sings poems, and
who--through his recorded albums--coincidentally helped me feel more at ease with and appreciative
of my own sexuality. This mans poetry was the first I had ever read or heard recited that addressed
this aspect of our physiological nature. Although Rod. McKuen's poetics sometimes contains a
dash of the trashy," there is an underlining tenderness and seemingly genuine appreciation for
womankind in his work that I had not sensed in any of the poetics of Bob Dylan, a poet-singer of
the same Hippie period. Dont get me wrong, there is a lot of Dylans poetic work I do like. But
I do not find Bob Dylan to be the sensitive romantic stylist Rod McKuen is.
Anita Kerr, Peter Matz, and Arthur Greenslade are some of the conductors who have worked
with Rod McKuen. Although I prefer Anita Kerrs arrangements, each conductors musical
arrangement has been a fitting complement to the songs sung (or monologues done) by Mr. McKuen.
As with Rabbi Fines poetic memorial piece, some of Rod McKuens phrasing gives expression to
some thoughts and feelings of my own for which I formerly had no words. The poignant refrain of
his poetic song: Loves Been Good To Me is especially relatable:
I have been a rover

I have walked alone
Hiked a hundred highways
and never found a home.
Still in all I am happy
The reason is you see
Once in a while
along the way
Loves been good to me.
While we share our lives with other persons, each of us is alone in our respective bodies of
either male gendered kind or female gendered kind. It is not a bad design. Mental privacy is a
primary human need.
For me, home also used to carry an elusive connotation. During my growing up years, I never felt
that I had a home. And I didnt. All the places where I resided between the time of my birth and
adulthood were deeded to someone else. Even after I became an adult, married, and was at last

residing in a house with my name on the deed too, I still could not experience the full feeling of
home. But on the night of February 14-15, 1969, I got a glimpse of why that even the house owned
by my husband and me had not completed the word home: The planet Earth is the natural home of
each of us. When it is thought of as Earth, the word home seems more encompassing, more
complete.
*
What of marriage between the first human beings"? If I did anything
more than write down the question, there is no remaining written record
of it. My present response to the question is as follows:
Although I cannot even guess what the first generation weddings were
actually like, it is of certainty that the pairing-up of our most ancient
parents was not like the formal marriage ceremony underwent by my
husband and me on July 2, 1950. No such formal "legal" rites would have
existed in the beginning hours of human society.
Fig. 86. Photo taken by me.
21
I Am Saying You Are Free

____________
Date in Re: July 14-15, 1970

Site:
Family residence
Events:
Closure, and extending themes.
n this date I experienced a more complete relaxing of the holding
effect. The submission period, I concluded, must be over. It probably

had been so for some time. For when I had attempted to look directly
at the sun in the afternoon of May 27, 1969, I could no longer do so
without blinking. Also the tint of the suns rays no longer appeared
to be of an abnormal shade when I looked at them. The last definitive
Fig. 87. Prototype adult human

pair: male & female.
pictorial or sensory vision I had experienced had been while I was closely observing the Big
Moon moonlight glow on or near the night of the full moon: March 23, 1970.
Day by day, I had become more observant of and more keenly interested in the wondrous
natural world around about me. The sun was no longer perceived as a nondescript object in the
sky. As with all other things of primary181nature, the sun is a Supernal Creation! I believe that
both (a) the primary creations and (b) extinctions that occurred prior to the first generation of our
species were either directly or indirectly (though preestablished primary involuntary nature
patterns182) caused by the Absolute/Almighty Thou. Only those nature things which came into
181
I.e., All the creations that came into existence up to and including the first human beings.
182
which Charles Darwin referred to as "natural selection."

existence a f t e r the primary creations were completed have been of either involuntary natural
order,183 or involuntary natural order and human choice combined.184
The varying nighttime sky with twinkling stars and highlighted planets and patterned moon
phases had become special for me again, . . . or more like it had been when I was a small child
chasing fireflies, or an adolescent out walking alone or with a friend in the enchanting
moonlight. Although greatly appreciated, both oil and electric human-made lamps pale by
comparison.
Whereas the wonders of nature should not be worshiped, the bionomics or health of the
planet Earth does not get the quality of attention it should receive. Our industrial companies
produce many helpful products. But if the waste byproducts released into the waters and the air
endanger our lives and that of the other living things of this planet, of what net benefit are the
manufactured goods? Are not the lives of ourselves and our posterity of a greater value than
our material created products?
The human body

I cannot recall any specific trigger thought or other stimulus that might have
called the question to mind on this date, but the question of human anatomy did
arise.
Albeit a model of a human skeleton, the figure at left could not be
representative of both a mans skeleton and a womans skeleton. In order to do
a representative three dimension model of the human body skeleton
framework, it would be necessary to do two models: a male one & a female
one. Whereas the male human skeleton and the female human skeleton are
made up of the same number of bones (206)185, the design of the female pelvis
Fig. 88. Photo
credit: Raul654.
is different from the design of the male pelvis. As indicated in the illustration in
Endnote I at the end of this chapter , the pelvis of the female human being is
183
E.g., reproduction of wild animal offspring.
184
E.g., reproduction of human offspring.
185
David Burnie, The Concise Encyclopedia of the Human Body (New York, NY: Dorling Kindersley
Publishing, Inc., 1995), 34. CEHB

broader and shallower than the pelvis of the male human being. So why, w h y do so many
authors of medical books portray the human skeleton in male form only?
The image displayed at right below points to some other significant ways in which the
female human body differs from the body of the male human being. For instance:
1. Although not visible in the picture, the male reproductive organs (testes and penis) are located
outside the pelvis. The corresponding female
reproductive organs (ovaries and uterus) are located
within the body.
2. The size and purpose of the breasts differ. The
female human beings breasts are almost always larger
than those of the male human being. But the more
significant difference between his breasts and her
breasts is that only the breasts of the female human
being are capable of producing milk for human young.
3. Theres also a difference between the amounts of
hair on the chest and arms and legs of a male human
body compared to that on the chest, arms, and legs of a
female human being. At least, I have never seen a
female human being with a hairy chest.
4. But the most conspicuous difference in body hair is
that on the face. Only the male human beings facial Fig. 89. Crop of photo of a Lucus Cranach, the elder.
hair (beard) grows and grows and grows, if not cut off. Painting of Adam and Eve courtesy of Uzi Dornai.
As with the solo skeleton on the preceding page, the above right imaginative painting of some
biblical prototype first pair of our species is not representative of the human body. Our species
is made up of four basic differing races: Negroid, Mongoloid, Ameroid, and Caucasoid. Only one
race is reflected in the pictured artwork by Lucas Cranach.
________
ENDNOTES
I. As you can see from the drawing below, the pelvis of the male human being is not identical with
the pelvis of the female human being. Therefore, a sketch or picture of the skeleton of only one of
us cannot represent the skeletons of our species collectively:
Fig. 90. Male vs female pelvis, a reproduction of a lithograph plate from Gray's Anatomy/ wikimedia commons PD.
&
July 15, 1970
o murder or be murdered
Under the Military Selective Service Act of 1967, a lottery
system for choosing draftees was introduced in 1969, and was still in
force on this date in 1970. It was not until June 1973 (when the Act
expired) that membership in the U.S. armed forces was again put on
an all-volunteer basis.
On June 29 of this year, my son James had turned eighteen. By
law, he was required to register for the draft. I did not want him to
be trained in how to hunt and kill other human beings. We are not
animals. But what was I to do? He was now of legal age, and no
longer a dependent child.
This was a sad morning for me. For despite my strong objection,
James was on his way to city hall to comply with the above-cited
selective service act. His father was supportive of his decision. They
behaved as if James had no other choice. But that is not true. Even
though the decision of how to respond could not be put on hold or as
tabled," two choices existed: Consent and Dissent.
The mere thought of war or war preparations brought forth
resentment and fear in me. It was because of the Korean War that my
Fig. 91. Scanned copy from TVP.
husband did not get to see James, Jr. until he was eighteen months
old. At the time of my husbands draft notice in January 1952, I also thought a young man had no
choice but to report for military training when summoned to do so. But things were much different
for me now. Like I've said: One of the first self-evident facts I recognized following the as new

awakening on the morning of January 14, 1969, was that it was I, and not other persons, who was
liable for my choices. Hence, I must do my own reasoning about what is right and what is wrong.
Is murder ever justifiable? On this date in 1970, my answer would have been: No! Taking
another persons life, even that of a murderer, is an unfair deed. Life imprisonment without a
chance for parole, I could vote for, but not the death penalty. This remained my position, . . . until
September 11, 2001. With the suicide terrorists murderous attacks upon the United States, a new
reality set in. When there are psychologically depraved persons bent on bringing the rest of the
human population under their tyrannical rule, a person needs to strike back. For the sake of human
at-large society, all nations need to seek out and go after these as crazies--lest persons of their
warped mind set be all thats left of our species. But let me hasten to add that fighting back includes
continually striving to find non-militant ways to thwart the unjust intentions of the grossly misguided
terrorists amidst our global population.
________
ther notes from this date include:
1. You mean your mind comes out of your mouth?, said six-year-old Anne one day in
early spring of this year while we were returning home from family physicians office. To
which I responded, If you say what you mean, it does.
2. Once yesterday and again today, Anne said, The world is changing; it really is.
3. Writing took on letter form, one to Richard Nixon, US president.
Item 1
Out of the mouths of babes, some say, cometh wisdom. All I know is Annes question moved
me to think in more detail than I had previously been doing about how our respective memory
images are obtained, . . . and used. Young childrens questions require simple answers. But like
Annes, the questions are frequently rather complex ones. In Funk and Wagnalls Standard College

Dictionary,186 mind is defined as: 1. the aggregate of processes originating in or associated with
the brain, involving conscious and subconscious thought, interpretation of perceptions, insight,
imagination, etc.
Our mental activities are both voluntary a n d involuntary. Never forget that! Within me is
the involuntary desire to understand and be understood, but it is of my conscious level free will
choice that I actively seek to understand and be understood.
While acknowledging the involuntary feelings within oneself can be difficult, nothing is gained
by pretending that a particular desire or feeling does not occur. Selfishness, for example, is one of
my unwanted involuntary inclinations. Since I do not find this inclination to be a good one, I strive
against it.
My response to Annes question was not precisely accurate. Of course, our minds do not
actually come out of our mouths when we speak. Both one's mind and the contained memories
which the spoken words are intended to represent stay hidden. What comes out are the vocalized
words associated to those hidden memory images. In other instances, the hidden memory images
are manifested (made known or demonstrated) by way of singing, body language, written words,
drawings, paintings, or like artistic representational forms.
Emotional reactions or feelings about what is seen, heard, smelled, tasted, touched, or touched
by via our physical senses are involuntary mental events of either a categorically pleasant or
unpleasant kind. Ofttimes, there is a great deal of difference in how each of us feels about or rates
the beauty or worth of what we respectively observe via our physical senses.
Whereas I find that my mind contains both conscious activity and unconscious activity , I (the
thinking and willing and choosing creative being) appear to be an existential soul apart from all the
memory images in mind. We start mortal life with plain mind or soul.
All memory images are acquired additions.
However, memory-making and recollection of the stored memory images are two different
things. Not every thing seen, heard, smelled, tasted, touched/touched by, sensed, felt, thought, or
186
Funk & Wagnalls, a division of Reader's Digest Books, Inc.( New York, NY: Harcourt, Brace & W orld,
Inc., 1966). SCD

otherwise experienced is remembered. That is to say, no person has total recall. A certain amount
of amnesia is a common mortal life limitation. I know that of all the many things I see, hear, think
about, or otherwise experience each day, more of the minute details are forgotten than remembered.
Item 2
I have no recollection of having made any response to young Annes comment about a changing
world. What I do recall is that during the months between October 1968 and September 1970,
Anne had spent a lot of time following me around in the yard while I might be commenting about
the natural cyclic changes occurring around about us. Perhaps her perception of the weather and
plant life and animal activity around about her was changing. In addition, there is what she heard
and otherwise observed while she was attending kindergarten at John B. Dey Elementary School
from September 1969 to June 1970.
Item 3
I have a faint recollection of having written a letter to President Nixon, but no remembrance of
what the letter was about. Considering what was happening at this time with regard to my draft-age
son, it may have been something about the Vietnam War and the draft lottery (i.e., playing as dice
with human lives). A lot of people were objecting to the United States involvement in the Vietnam
civil war.

The following images are scanned copies of picture cutouts I put together in 1970 on the North
American aboriginals. I have no record of what old book or magazine each of these pictures came
from. The entitling of both of the following illustrations was done by me:
The Hills of Home
Fig. 92. Hills of Home set scanned from old magazine.
Under Birches of Green
Fig. 93.
he last thing I had added to the folder of notes and pictures for July 14-15, 1970, was the
following excerpt:
Its good to be a seeker,
But sooner or later
You have to be a finder.
And then it is well
To give what you have found__
A gift to the world
For whoever will accept it.
Fig. 94. Oval crop of seagull.jpg. Photo courtesy of Jens

Graberstein.
In my notes, the previous quote was accredited to Jonathan Livingston Seagull,187a metaphorical
novella about an existential sea gull. I have since purchased a used copy of a paperback publication
of this book, but cannot find the above quoted passage in it. There is, however, a pertinent
message to one of Jonathan's student sea gulls on page 112 of the book:
Maynard Gull , you have the freedom to
Be yourself, your true self, here and now,
And nothing can stand in your way.
It is the Law of the Great Gull, the Law that Is.
Are you saying I can fly?
I am saying you are free!
While it was perhaps not the best of ways to be launched into the pursuit of clarification, the
paranoia episode I experienced one day in mid-September 1968 was the catalyst that freed me from
the restrictive emotional fetters of blind faith in the say-so of the as elders of the flock (e.g., teachers,
preachers, scientists, etc. other professional persons).
I had neither read the book nor seen the film when I first heard Neil Diamonds recording on
187
Richard D. Bach, (New York: Avon Books, a division of The Hearst Corporation, 1970). JLS

the soundtrack for the movie: Jonathan Livingston Seagull,188 yet I could immediately envision the
ups and downs of the allegorical sea gull from Mr. Diamonds music.
For whoever will accept it__that is the question; for as I was soon to discover, not everyone
is interested in reasoning for themselves about what is right or true. In fact, only a few of the people
with whom I have shared the highlights of my transcendental experience have shown any interest
in evaluating what they have heard or read about (1) the Almighty Thou, (2) the divine spiritual
presence/conscience within, and/or associated transcendental phenomena. Does fear of the unknown
Almighty Creative Mental Power stifle investigative thought about the essence and character of
same?
If so, what is the source of that fear:
A. The detectable natural world parts and their involuntary activity, or

B. Only the assertions of various past generation peers of ours contained in the Hebrew,
Greek, and Arabic biblical writings?
I suspect that the latter is the main source for the vast majority of us. As for me, it was only
after I lost faith in my childhood idols (teachers) that I turned to make any inquiries of the envisioned
Almighty Thou regarding the bothersome biblical claims concerning the purpose and worth of the
female human being. Thankfully, I am no longer stymied by any of the biblical claims about the
envisioned Creative Cause of our species.
As Richard Bach had the character Jonathan say to the character Maynard, I a m s a y i n g y o u
a r e f r e e ! And like the metaphorical Jonathan Livingston Seagull, it is up to each reproductively
adult one of us to choose to or not to test his or her own good common sense, intuitions, individual
talents, and intellectual powers. As I see it, not to do so is to make a slave of oneself and an idol
of one or more other persons and their views.189
188
Released in 1973, this film won a Golden Globe Award for its score by Neil Diamond. Jonathan Livingston
Seagull grows tired of the dull, routine life of his sea gull clan. W hen he experiments with new flying techniques, he
is expelled by the clan elders. Free of the restrictive confines of the group, Jonathan explores the world in search
of wisdom and enlightenment. ERL-04
189
W ith the entry for July 14-15, 1970, my original notebook on the extraordinary spiritual experience I began
experiencing on the morning of January 14, 1969 was closed.
The Next Twenty-Five Years
22
Or Strength to Weakness
____________
Dates in Re: August 1970 to April 1974
lthough I can recall the visions and a number of other things I experienced between January 14,
1969, and mid-July 1970, the only evidence I have about what my life was like between late fall
of 1970 and the first quarter of 1972 are:
a few scattered memories,

some personal notes ,
some photographs,
a letter from one of the ODU 1971 staff professors, and
several of the books in my at-home library.
According to the information on paper records or in mind, the only secular educator I shared any
of my original records of the spiritual happening with was an ODU math professor sometime
between the fall of 1970 and early to mid-1971. No oral synopsis was provided by me, for I had not
yet developed the courage to speak openly about the extraordinary spiritual happening I had
undergone.
Neither had I made any attempt to interpret the visions I had experienced. It was my hope that
some college professor or scientist would help me figure out the significance of the sensory and
pictorial visions I experienced between January 14, 1969 and July 14-15, 1970. For various reasons,
that did not happen.

But in retrospect, I can see that I was not sufficiently in charge of my emotions at that time to
motivate anyone to try to take me seriously. As I recall, much of what I said at the time was in the
form of insinuations. Without any knowledge of Biblical Hebrew grammar to help me evaluate the
Exodus account, I skirted over instances in my experience which corresponded to some of those
recounted of in Exodus. But again, the main lack of high interest on the part of the educators I
spoke with at ODC was no doubt due to my inability to present my case in a sufficiently coherent
manner.
Mid-November 1971
At various times between January 14, 1969, and July 14-15, 1970, I had experienced severe
headaches. By mid-November1971, they had become so painful I could no longer bear them, and
called my family doctors office for an appointment. After seeing me, Doc made arrangements for
me to be admitted to Norfolk General Hospital. The only other thing I remember following
admission to that hospital and my return home around December 23, 1971, was (a) myself lying face
down on a gurney with an orderly at either side, and (b) myself seated beside my husband in the
hospital solarium.
As it turned out, it would be several years before I would learn the reason why I was admitted
the hospital and given numerous electric convulsive therapy shock treatments over a period of six
weeks.
April 1972
Following the hospital stay, I gradually worked my way back to participating in social activities.
The first clear recollection I have of a social outing was a family gathering at my parents home in
Mathews County, Virginia, during the spring breakof April 1972. All four of my siblings were
in town. Some of my nieces and nephews were also present. Three of my four children were at
the gathering. I do not recall where seventeen-year-old son David was on this weekend. James, Jr.
had brought his 35MM camera along. It was he who took the following treasured photograph of

Ernest Hugate and Marion Sadler Hugate with their children, most of their grandchildren, and all
but one of their childrens spouses.
Fig. 95. From left to right on front row: Darryl Gatlin , Jean Walker Hugate (wife of Milton Hugate), Donna Hugate, Anne
Hudgins, Jeannie Pierce, Lisa Hudgins, Teresa Hugate, Jimmy Pierce, Marion Sadler Hugate, and Ronald Hugate. From
left to right on second row: Anne Pierce, James (Jim) Story, Margaret Hugate Story, Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins, James
Hudgins, Sr., and Ernest Hugate. From left to right on third row: Milton Hugate, David Hugate, Billy Gatlin, Jean Hugate
Gatlin, and Albert Gatlin.
The Hudgins children in the group picture are of course the children
of my husband [ James (Mac) Hudgins] and me. Anne, Jeannie, and
Jimmy Pierce are the children of Margaret Hugate Story. Teresa
Hugate is the daughter of David Hugate. The other Hugate children
are the children of Milton Hugate and Jean Walker Hugate. Young
Don Gatlin was present, but did not line up for the photo shoot.
Alas, no one thought to get a group photo including the
photographer. The one at left is a copy of one taken by me inside our
Fig. 95.1. James, Jr.
house on James high school graduation day in June 1971.

James also took the photograph of my siblings and me with our parents inside the house included
on this entrys Endnotes page.
1972 - 1974
Sometime between April 1972 and the opening of the 1973-1974 public school term, I had
decided to visit a Jewish synagogue of the Reform denomination. From what I had heard about it,
the tenets of the Reform branch of Judaism might not be too far from my own. At the time, Ohef
Sholom in Norfolk was the nearest Reform Jewish synagogue, so thats where I went.
One of the most appealing aspects of the first Jewish Sabbath service I attended was the absence
of people with offering plates walking down the isles collecting money. How pleasant it was to not
have that distraction to break the mood of the worship service. Then there was the part I did not
like: the talking done by some of the congregants while the rabbi was conducting the service. I
simply could not imagine such willful rudeness. Yet, the rabbi seemed to be oblivious to the
distracting talkers. Had I been the presiding person, I would probably have stopped speaking, and
given the disruptive persons my most stern glare of disapproval.
After the Friday evening service, there was a light reception called Oneg Shabbat (Sabbath
delight). That was a surprise, too. Some of the people came up to me and introduced themselves,
but no one said anything to me about becoming a Jew, or even coming back again. This absence of
an immediate proselytizing embrace was another new thing for me. Did they not care whether I
came again or not?
Lawrence Forman was the rabbi. He was a good speaker. I was impressed with his style and
general warm manners, and decided to come back again. Even after coming back again, no one said
anything to me about joining the congregation or confirming to Judaism.
Another pleasant thing about the Ohef Shalom congregation was the breakfast prepared and
served by the synagogues mens club each Sunday morning (not a Sabbath, only a day of religious
school classes, The Jewish Sabbath is from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown). It was my first
time to attend a religious institution where the food was prepared and served by men rather than
women. I liked that. In fact, I liked it a lot. Usually, there was also a speaker at each of these
Sunday morning breakfasts. The topics varied, but all were interesting and included some beneficial

(to me) information. I do not recall how many visits I had made to the synagogue before I enrolled
my daughters Lisa and Anne in the religious school program, but I do recall what as moved me
to do so:
Anne comes in from school with tears in her eyes. When I ask her whats wrong, she starts crying.
I do not recall the exact words; but in essence, the reason she gives for her distress is that some of
her classmates had mocked her because she does not go to church. I could not bear the image of
this tender-hearted loving child undergoing such mockery. Although a little uneasy about letting
my impressionable daughters get involved with institutional religious instruction, I decided to see
about getting both Anne and Lisa started in the Ohef Sholom religious school program. The girls
could benefit, I concluded, from some reinforcement lessons in ethics, . . . and I would be
monitoring their studies.
Both of the girls were enrolled as students in Ohef Sholoms religious school on October 21,
1973. At ages twenty-one and nineteen respectively, my sons' James and David were no longer
under my legal custodial care. While it was my expressed desire that they would resist idolatrous
practices, the choice was solely theirs now that they were men.
Since I had to be at the synagogue anyway, I also started studying Judaism. Rabbi Forman
gave me a reading list of more than fifty books' length on Turning to Judaism. Ohef Sholom had
a well-stocked library. During the years between 1973 and about 1981 (the year I transferred my
membership to Beth Chaverim, a Reform Jewish congregation in Virginia Beach), I read through
almost every book on that list of recommended reading. One of the books was Wings of the
Morning,190 a textbook designed for confirmation age Jewish youth (but not used at that time by
Ohef Sholom). The Thought Starters question at the end of each chapter of the book provided me
with the structured opportunity to express my views on Jewish religious thought and its congruency
(or lack of ) concerning involuntary natural events. And although that level of participation was not
required of me, I did the questions and turned in my responses to Rabbi Forman. When I completed
the textbook course in 1974, the rabbi presented the book to me as a gift. I treasure it.
190
Roland B. Gittlesohn (New York: Union of American Hebrew Congregations, 1969). W OM

Note: Roland B. Gittelsohn died in 1995. The first Jewish chaplain ever appointed by the Marines, he was there
at Iwo Jimo along with about 1500 other Jewish soldiers during the battle in 1945. It was Rabbi Gittelsohns job,
however, to minister to Marines of all faiths in this combat zone.
To give you some idea of the general attitude of the author of the book, I am including a copy
of the last paragraph of: No Conclusion, the last chapter in Rabbi Gittelsohns book:
May you reread these pages from time to time. May they always stimulate a process of serious
thought which will never end, to the final day of your life. May you find comfort and challenge in
the asking of such questions as these and the answers proposed by Judaism. In religion, as in all
other aspects of life, may you never grow fearful of new ideas or of change. For change can mean
growth. And growth means progress. And progress means that we have moved a little step forward
and upward in our yearning to reach . . . [The Almighty Thou].
At various places within the context of his lessons, Rabbi Gittlesohn had inserted one or more
Hebrew words. On page 199 of the chapter: Thou Shalt . . . Thou shalt not! are the Hebrew words,
English transliterations, and the English translations for our two opposing impulses:
(yetzer tov)the inclination to do good, and
opposite or bad things.
gr rmh
cuy rmh
(yetzer ra)the inclination to do the
As for the ultimate consequences of bad choices, on page 354 of the
chapter: After Death, What?, no specific definition is given on the literal meaning of the Hebrew
word
kuta:191
Judaism has been singularly free of belief regarding heaven and hell. The Bible does mention a
rather vague, indefinite place called kuta (She-ol), to which the wicked are apparently[ 192]
consigned, at least temporarily after death, but nowhere is kuta described in detail or made
into a necessary tenet of Jewish faith.
Statements like the above-cited ones stimulated my interest in how to pronounce and decipher
the meaning of the Biblical Hebrew words I had seen in the book. Perhaps my curiosity showed?
Anyway, sometime after I began this self-imposed textbook course on Judaism, Rabbi Forman
suggested that I start studying Hebrew. No adult Hebrew instructor was available at the time. My
first few lessons in the Hebrew alphabet were given by the Sharon Forman, the rabbis seven-year191
192
I have since learned that
kuta is from the verbal root kta (ask, inquire), and means place of inquiry.
This is not apparent; nothing about afterlife is definite.

old daughter. What a neat unprecedented experience it was for me to have a young child for a
teacher. However, this private tutoring in the library back room only lasted a few weeks. A class
was setup for those who wanted to study Adult Hebrew. But both the availability of instructors and
the scope of study were limited. It was not until after I had joined Congregation Beth Chaverim of
Virginia Beach that I began a comprehensive study of the grammar and syntax of Classical/Biblical
Hebrew. I also completed two semesters of Hebrew at Tidewater Community College in 1983 under
the instruction of retired chaplain Rabbi Sobel. The textbook used for that college credit course was:
Introduction to Hebrew193
Along with a small group of other interested congregants, I also completed a course of study
entitled Modern Hebrew194 under the direction of Rabbi Zoberman at his home on Monday evenings.
This schooling took place sometime after 1983.
When I first sat down with little Sharon Forman in 1973, it was merely to acquaint myself with
the shapes and sounds of the Hebrew letters and vowel signs so that I could read along in the sedur
(prayer book) during the Sabbath and other holiday services. Never, never did I ever expect to learn
enough Hebrew to someday be able to read the five books of the Hebrew Torah.
Public school term 1973-1974

In the fall of 1973, I also began working with the Volunteers In Education program at John B.
Dey Elementary school. One day a week I served as a volunteer teacher aide for a first grade class.
My job was to take aside and help students who, for one reason or another, needed additional help
with reading and mathematics. I was also assigned the task of doing the monthly classroom bulletin
board.
When December came around, I was in a bit of quandary. Whereas I could go along with the
teachers required Santa Claus theme, I could not agree to put up the greetings' sign: Merry
Christmas. As it turned out, she did not insist that I do it. Nor did she put up the sign.
MH
193
Moshe Greenberg, (New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, Inc, 1965). ITH
194
Harrt Blumberg, and Mordecai H. Lewittes, 3rd ed. (New York: Hebrew Publishing Company, 1965).

Workshops had been set up for training volunteers. These weekly training sessions were held
at night in different elementary schools throughout the City of Virginia Beach. Still suffering from
some memory loss, I could not trust myself to find my way to and from these unfamiliar locations
after dark. My husband suggested I do a trial run earlier in the day. With the aid of a city map book
and these test runs, I managed to make it to all the workshops and back home without getting lost.
Each of the three years of doing this volunteer work I was awarded a certificate of appreciation
for the help I had given to John B. Dey Elementary school. A scanned copy of one of the certificates
is included in the Endnotes part of this entry.
ENDNOTES
I.
Fig. 96. From left to right on front row: Ernest Hugate and Marion Sadler Hugate. From left to right on back row:
Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins, Milton Hugate, Margaret Hugate Story, Jean Hugate Gatlin, David Hugate.
As previously noted, this photo of my four siblings and me with our parents was also taken by
my son, James Hudgins, Jr. in the spring of 1972.
Brother David had come directly from work. Since his job involved working on automobiles and
other greasy objects, his shirt is dirty.
Mama had plenty of hair. But for some reason, she began stuffing it in a hair net after it turned
grey. Like Daddy, she was toothless by the time she reached middle age. But unlike Daddy, she
never did get any false teeth. She did not smile often.
There was always a calendar (with advertising) hanging in the living room. Some county
merchants handed them out free. To my recollection, the pictures included on these annual calendars
were the only type of pictures to ever hang on my father and mother's parlor walls.

II. Certificate Example:
Fig. 97. Scanned copy of document.
23
And Often Back Again

____________
Date in Re: April 1974

Place:
Old Dominion University
Event:
A Shocking Discovery
aving come across a nice letterI from the Chairman of the ODU Department of Biology, I
decided to try to find the recommended books on organic evolution. When a trip to the local branch
of the Virginia Beach public library failed to produce positive results, I decided to go to the
university campus library and see if the referred books might be there. After stopping by the math
department to say hello to an acquaintance of mine, I proceeded on
to the office of Dr. Harold Marshall in the science department
building. We exchanged the customary polite greetings.
I also
spoke to the secretary. A faintly puzzled look flashed across her

face; however, she responded to my greeting in a warm and
courteous fashion. My stop-by was brief. I then went on over to
Hughes Library to do the book search.
Checking in the card catalog file cabinet, I located the cards for
four out of the five referred books, jotted down the section numbers
where they were shelved, and was about to go get them--when a
police officer came up to me. Taking my arm, he directed me to
Fig. 98. Crop of cardcatalog.jpg,

Credit of the photo: Greg Shattuck.

follow him to a room at the back of the library. It was mind-boggling. I had no idea of why this was
happening to me, no idea at all!
When we got to that room, there was another uniformed campus officer waiting. That second
officer opened a notebook and showed me a copy of a letter that had been sent to me in October 1971
informing me that due to certain complaints by some staff members, my patron privileges to ODU
had been terminated. The cited complaints were: (1) I had taken up too much of their time with
matters that were not pertinent to their subject, and (2) I had defaced some library books. The
officer with the notebook further informed me that I was "trespassing," . . . was "persona non grata,"
he said. Based on the text of the letter, the word trespassing fit my of-the-moment deed. Albeit
inadvertent or unintentional trespassing, I was nonetheless trespassing. But why did the officer add
the persona non grata" (i.e., a person who is not welcome or acceptable--SCD)?
Who, I wondered, called the campus police? My guess is the librarian did. She would--I soon
came to realize--have had the legal reasons for doing so. For upon examining some of my own
books, I could understand what was meant by defacing state property. Some of my books
contained numerous unerasable strikeouts and comments. In some cases, the defacements could be
removed with bleach. Other books, however, had to be trashed.
On this date, my thoughts were focused upon getting my patron privileges reinstated. It was
unthinkable that I might not be able to attend the graduation service of my own children from ODU
(should one or more of them decide to seek a degree at this Virginia state school).
When my husband returned home from work that day, I asked him about the exclusion letter.
"Why," I asked, "didn't you warn me this morning"? (Before he left for work, I had mentioned that
I was planning to go over to ODU to see about some books.) He had forgotten about the letter, he
said
Obviously, I had not committed any serious crime; otherwise, I would have been put in jail. But
what particularly unfair or outrageous things had I done or said that caused some of the ODU
professors to seek relief from me by having me banned from campus? And how could I not worry

about going to public gatherings and having someone come up to me and address me after a personal
manner, and I have no recollection of having seen or heard that person before? 195
*
This incident with the campus police in April 1974 moved me to begin thinking about why I had
spent the last six weeks of 1971 at Norfolk General Hospital under the combined care of my family
physician (whom I call Doc) and William F. Blair, M.D., a psychiatrist.
But on that day in 1974, I was not yet emotionally strong enough to look for and put together
the clues necessary for making sense of what had happened to cause the presiding school officers to
ban me from campus. All I could do was try to get my patron privileges reinstated. It most certainly
was never my intention to treat any of the ODC staff after an unfair manner. The phenomenal
spiritual experience I had undergone would, I had initially presumed, be of keen interest and help to
all educators.
At first, I tried to resolve the dilemma of the exclusion myself. Upon the advice given me by
my friend in the mathematics department, a letter of appeals was drafted and sent to the Assistant
Provost, Dr. Allen K. Clark In turn, Dr. Clark referred me to the school president, Dr. J. L. Bugg,
Jr. II If I made a carbon copy of my letter of May 19, 1974, to Dr. Clark, it has since been lost or
discarded.
My first letter of appeal to Dr. Bugg for reinstatement was denied. Again, no carbon copy of that
letter exists. Neither can I find Dr. Bugg's reply to that request. But I can recall that my word alone
was not accepted as sufficient proof that I would not be likely to abuse my patron privileges again.
One of the reasons behind Dr. Buggs rejection of my first appeals letter was probably because I
was then in the habit of using the lowercase i when referring to myself.
To me, the lower case "i represented mine (and every other human beings) natural subservience
with respect to The Almighty Creative Mind/Mental Power, . . . and that is all it meant. Whereas
I am inclined to be especially self-conscious when addressing others face to face, to no degree did
I think of myself as of a lower caste human being. In fact, there is no such thing. Regardless of how
195
I am pleased to report that the possibility of encountering someone from my 1970s' past no longer evokes
the anxiety feelings it did between this day in April 1974 and mid-April 1996. In fact, I would welcome the
opportunity to converse with any of these persons who have remembrances of me from late 1970 & 1971.

bad our personal behavior might be, the absolute value of our species remains the same. However,
no explanation for why I deviated from the standard usage of the word I was included in my letter
to the president of Old Dominion University. If using the lowercase i for referring to oneself was
accepted when done by a published poet like Rod McKuen, why might it be objectionable or
misconstrued when I chose to do likewise? Here is a typed version of Rod McKuens handinscribed introductory message on one of his 1960s albums:
"what i have to
say about this
album is on the
record ------ i hope
you like it ---Rod McKuen
London, June 68"
My presumption was, of course, not well-founded. Just because my daughter Lisas third-grade
teacher and I had seen some of Mr. McKuens written work does not mean James Bugg, Jr. had.
Before re-appealing, I decided to discuss the problem with Dr. Blair. That proved to be a wise
choice. For after hearing my account of what had happened thus far, he wrote out a "guide" letter
to help me with the medical terminology and associated phrasing. He further recommended that I
send in a "good faith" check for the library books I was charged with defacing. I do not recall the
amount of the check sent with the re-appeal letter, only that I did send one.
Since Dr. Blair's handwritten draft is not very legible, I am inserting a verbatim typed version
of it for you:
My physician diagnosed my condition as: Acute Brain Syndrome, of unknown origin. This he tells
me could have been due to any number of conditions ranging from a viral infection to a reaction to
medication. As a result, I had a complete loss of memory covering many weeks and limited, spotty
loss of memory for many months. This period is roughly Sept. 1968 [196] to about the middle of
1972.
196
Yet to my surprise (and as previously noted) , I can recall all of the sensory and/or visual memory images
of the various visions I experienced between the morning of January 14, 1969, and mid-July 1970.

The first time I became aware of any prior trouble is when I was accused of trespassing by a
campus police officer in Apr. 1974. I have desired to and tried to remember what occurred and what
I did during my illness, but I am unable to do so. My physician informs me that losses of memory
occurring as a result of brain trauma are not recoverable.
Adding a sincere apology to all whom I may have offended, and noting that I was enclosing a
check toward the replacement costs of the marked-in library books, I sent off a second appeal for
reconsideration of my patron status at ODU.
In his replyIII to that letter,197 Dr. Bugg acknowledged receipt of my in-good faith check and
apology. It would, however, take $79.95 more to make complete financial restitution for the
Hughes Library books I had damaged. In addition, he would need a letter from Dr. Blair regarding
my mental health status before he could rule on my request for reinstatement.
When I conveyed the ODU president's message to Dr. Blair, he informed me that I would need
to put my request in writing. This I did. My letter to Dr. Blair also included my request that a
carbon copy of the letter he would be sending to the ODU president be sent to me. A carbon copy
was mailed to me.
In his reply letter of May 27, 1975, Dr. Bugg acknowledged receipt of my letter of May 19,
1975 III, and my check of $79.95 as payment in full for the damaged books, . . . and that I would be
further contacted after Dr. Blairs letter IV was received.
About a month passed before I received a letter from Dr. Bugg. But as you can see from
endnoteV , that letter contained good news. My patron privileges to ODU were reinstated.
197
W hich unfortunately has been lost.
ENDNOTES
I.
Fig. 99. A Scanned Copy of Dr. Marshalls Letter of June 7, 1971.

I.1.
Fig. 99.1. Plus Enclosure Included with Dr. Marshalls Letter.

II.
Fig. 100. Scanned Copy of Dr. Clarks Reply.

III.
Fig. 101. Scanned Copy of Dr. Buggs Acknowledgment to My Letter of May 19, 1975.

IV.
Fig. 102. An Optical Character Resolution Scanned Copy of Carbon of Letter Dr. Blair Sent to James Bugg, Jr.

V.
Fig. 103. Copy of Reinstatement Letter Received from Dr. Bugg in June 1975.
24
And Back, We Pray, . . .

____________
Dates In Re: June 1975 - July 1991
nce the reinstatement was achieved, I more or less put the events from the 1968-1975 segment
of my life behind me. Unsure of myself, and fearing to cause my family undue embarrassment,
I did not talk with them about the transcendent experience I had undergone between January 14,
1969, and July 14, 1970. Neither were my four children told about what had transpired during my
visit to the ODU campus in April 1974. The discovery that I had apparently suffered a brain
disorder had left me wondering if the sensory and pictorial
visions I had experienced were instead toxicity-caused
hallucinations, . . .and I was not yet ready to deal with that
question.
And as previously noted, I had become very much
involved with (1) the Volunteers in Education program at
John B. Dey Elementary and (2) Judaic studies at Ohef
Sholom between the fall of 1973 and 1983. In addition,
there were the daily at-home duties to attend to. All
activities summed, there really was not much time left
over for doing philosophical investigations. I did,
however, put together a scrapbook of illustrations during
the months between April 1974 and spring of 1989 which
depicted highlights of my life from birth up to the latter
year.
Fig. 104. Side of scrapbook page depicting

memorable events from the first seven years of my
life.

The value of this scrapbook198 of varying illustrative art forms (including Venn diagrams
199
was that it allowed me to as tack down meaningful memories and metaphysical ideas with a
minimum amount of self-implicating words. With the exception of three photographs of some
Halloween spooks artwork, no actual photographs of any of the memories I was illustrating were
included in the scrapbook.
1984
With a touch of sadness and much appreciation, I sent a letter of resignation to Rabbi Forman
on July 15, 1984. Now that a Reform Jewish congregation had been established in the city of my
residence (Virginia Beach), I could not see driving all that distance into Norfolk to study and/or
attend services. The girls were finished with religious school. Actually, they were women now.
Lisa was married and living away from home. Anne had married, but was now divorced. She and
her twenty-one-month-old daughter Maggie were residing with my husband and me.
1985
On February 14, 1985, I was admitted to Virginia Beach General Hospital with an acute
intestinal blockage. Emergency surgery had to be performed. Approximately ten inches of the
upper portion of my small intestine had to be removed. According to the attending
gastroenterologist, the inflammation was caused by the Lithium-Carbonate that had been prescribed
by Dr. Blair for treatment of the residual effects following or attending the adverse reaction I
suffered in 1971 from the diet medication Biphetamine.
Due to complications following the surgery, I was not released from the hospital until March
11, 1985.
198
The scrapbook of collage is made from 18 x 12 art sketch book sheets, and bound with four large notebook
binder rings. Most of the illustrations are made up of cutouts from paperback activity craft books.
199
A logics or mathematical method for classifying or grouping things. The method is named after John
Venn, a now-deceased British logician.

1986
On March 12, 1986, I was again admitted to VBGH with a kinked small intestine. Again,
surgery had to be performed. Roughly ten more inches of my small bowel had to be removed.
This time the kink was attributed to adhesions from the previous surgery. Other than extreme
diarrhea from the mega dose of antibiotics200given to me to counteract infection, there were no
complications following this second surgery. I was released from the hospital on March 25, 1986.
Various times since then I have had to go back to VBG because of a small bowel obstruction.
But luckily, the problem could be resolved each time by the use of a gastric tube and fasting.
Little by little, I have discovered which foods to avoid. Drinking at least two liters of water per
day proved to be especially beneficial.
Since my husband discovered (in 1986) that he had a partially blocked artery, my cooking
habits have been gradually modified until we are now down to no beef, no pork, and no poultry.
Fin fish are prepared in a variety of ways. Some of the recipes I had for chicken breasts are also
good with fish fillets. Occasionally, I will prepare a dish that includes some crab or shrimp. But
most of the time, its either a fish dish or a vegetarian dish. I alternate between the two. And in
almost all instances, I add no salt when cooking vegetables. We do not buy any frozen desserts
or baked goods that include more than 2gm of fat/serving, and we also watch the amount of sugar
we consume. We cook with egg whites or commercial egg substitutes. Also, I use tofu in
vegetarian dishes, and fat-free cottage cheese with fruit for needed protein.
Between early 1980 and 1985, I also quit consuming alcoholic beverages and caffeinated
products, . . . and I became a nonsmoker. My husband had quit smoking back in late 1970s. At
present, my husband and I maintain a smoke-free house. What a refreshing change! No longer do
we have nicotine-stained curtains and walls and mirrors, . . . and the stench of stale cigarette smoke
in our house and upon ourselves. For another plus, there's the money we save; money that can
be used to purchase healthy food like fresh fruit and berries. But best of all is the absence of the
cigarette smokers cough in ourselves. It is never too late to benefit from quitting a bad habit.
200
Said a floor nurse.

October 1989
Along with some others who were interested in studying the grammar and syntax of the
language the Torah and almost all of the other books in which the Jewish Bible (Tanach) are
written, I began a self-teaching course in Biblical Hebrew in the fall of 1989.
The name of the textbook was: The First Hebrew Primer for Adults.201 I served as instructor
of the group. It took us six school terms to complete the book. Upon finishing the lessons in
1996, we moved on to reading and analyzing the Torah--but not without the aid of such excellent
resources as:
1. Magils Linear School Bible.
202
2. A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old [First] Testament.
203
3. PC Study Bible 204 software for helping to identify the triliteral roots of some of the words
or phrases in Magils Hebrew/English biblical text.
4. DavkaWriter , a bilingual Hebrew/English word processing program with which to compile
weekly Torah vocabulary study guides and/or other collateral information.
In early fall of the last school term (2001-2002), the class completed the Torah. Since some
of the members had not been in the class when we started the study, we began all over again with
Genesis as soon as we completed Deuteronomy.
July 26, 1991

After much thought and careful review of the basic tenets of Reform Judaism, I decided to
affirm to Judaism. Almost all of the people with whom I had become acquainted at Ohef Sholom
and Beth Chaverim had made me feel welcomed and appreciated.
201
Ethelyn Simon, Nanette Stahl , Linda Mortzkin, and Joseph Anderson, 2 nd ed. (Oakland, CA: EKS
Publishing Company, 1983). FHPA
202
Joseph Magil. Hebrew test and English translation, The Five Books of Moses ( Delancey Street, NY:
Hebrew Publishing Company, 1905). MLSB
203
HELOT
204
Jim Gilbertson, CD-ROM ( Seatle, W A: Biblesoft, 1988). PCSB

Freedom of philosophical inquiry and commentary were not discouraged. To the contrary. As
a Reform Jew, I could continue to share my views with other persons who also profess to worship
or revere the Almighty Thou__and that Infinite Creative Power alone. Although the other
congregants with whom I am acquainted do not use the same word(s) that I do when referring to
the envisioned Creative Cause of our species and the other parts of the primary cosmic world, I
ohvkt
am not ostracized for refusing to mistranslate
/lit. the Almighty (Infinite) Creative Mental
Power with misleading sex-implicative terms like God, our King, or our Father. Nor am I ousted
for refusing to mistranslate
vuvh
/ lit. Presence or divine Presence with such misleading sexist
honorary titles as Lord or Adonai /my Lords.

The more I learned about Biblical Hebrew grammar and the more I read of the
Torah/Pentateuch, the more sure I became that it was detrimental to refer to either (1) the
unknown Almighty Creative Mental Power or (2) the invisible self-revealing spiritual presence
within by sexist words. However, it was not until sometime after early fall of 1996 that I reached
this level of certainty in regards to the adverse effects of fictionalized oral and written narrations
about (a) the origination of our species and (b) subsequent involuntary natural events upon the
human psyche.
At first, I thought it would be sufficient to qualify my position by preceding any Torah
recitation I might read aloud or quote with the caveat: I do not take these verses literally. But
that is too weak a protest, I decided. The Almighty Thou deserves a better defense.
There is no evidence in nature with which to support all the unfair to cruel deeds
that have been attributed to the envisionedbut unknown--Infinite/absolute Creative
Cause of our species and the other parts of the primary cosmic word. Yes, it's time to
give the Almighty Power a break.
25
To Health Again
____________
Date in Re: April 1996
n early spring of 1996, something happened within me that inspired me anew to write about the
phenomenal spiritual happening I had undergone--and the

helpful changes it had wrought in my thinking. My soul was
overflowing with loving feelings for my children, husband,
other family members, and close friends. This change was both
exhilarating and scary.
Emotionally, I was feeling as I had before starting to take
the amphetamine-based diet medication back in 1965. In fact,
there were actually brief moments when I felt stalled back in
that time period of my life. Feelings of warm nostalgic sadness
would sweep over me. But as with a moment of physical
vertigo, the emotional flashbacks to how I had felt at the time
the family photo at left had been taken were of mere instants. I
Fig. 105. Family photo taken in 1967.
have never flown in an airplane, but it was my intuition that

what I was experiencing might be something like jet lag.
This flurry of uplifting emotions began around the spring break weekend of April 12 to 14, 1996.
*
In addition, my short term memory was showing some signs of improvement. For instance,
I was beginning to be able to remember larger chunks of numerical and linguistic expressions.
Whereas I had previously not been able to remember telephone and account numbers without
looking back and forth to them, I was now finding myself able to take a firm look at a telephone
number, and then go to another room and dial the number correctly. Some of the Virginia Beach
citys billing account numbers are simply too long to recall all the digits in one chunk, but now I
could remember more of them at the time.
*
Noticeable improvement was also occurring when writing Hebrew expressions. Counting the
added vowel signs, it is not uncommon for a Hebrew expression to consist of ten or more English
letter equivalents (e.g., ovh,jpank /lmish-pcho-tei-hem205). Whereas I had previously been
unable to remember all the consonants and vowel sounds of long formations in one viewing, I was
now finding myself able to do so. But more efficient focusing ( I have since recognized) was one
contributing reason why I was able to hold the memory images of numbers and words longer.
Before 1996, I had not spent enough time committing the appearance and phonetics of each
expression to memory.
*
Another change that had begun to occur during this time was in how I was reacting to the bible
verses I was reading in a Hebrew/English version of the Torah. As noted in the previous entry, I
had acquired a basic understanding of classical Hebrew grammar and syntax between 1973 and
1995. With the help of the comprehensive lexicon HELOT, I was now reading and translating the
Torah. And as I would read along about Abraham and his wife Sarah leaving their home in Ur and
journeying up toward the land of Canaan, I found myself experiencing the story with surprising
ease and understanding. The remaining shreds of mystique that had once surrounded these ancient
205
Lit. According to their families/ or families of them (i.e., species). Genesis 8:19

biblical writings were rapidly falling away.
One contributing factor behind this improvement was, I think, the format of the Hebrew-English
student bible I was using. As you can see from the scanned example I on the Endnotes page of
this entry, the Hebrew verses in Joseph Magils linear Torah publication are subdivided into short
easy-to-read and analyze portions.
As it happened, many of the Hebrew words pertained to circumstances peculiar to farming. I

grew up in an agrarian community. Gathering fodder206 , for one example, was an event I could
easily relate to.
Envisioning myself in the company of the personalities I was reading about also made it easier for me to
distinguish between probable fact and the apparent fantasy or fiction part. Previous experimentation had
shown me how helpful it can be to pretend you are there with the person and event you are reading about.
Conceptual journeying back in time did help dislodge the mystique or as psychological cataracts that had
buildup with regard to a number of the Hebrew and Greek religious compositions written thousands of
years ago. By now, I had gotten in the habit of doing this kind of thing when reading biblical stories.
Although outwardly feigning to be unmoved by this sudden burst of improvement in my

enunciation and perception of the Hebrew word(s), I was inwardly a little overwhelmed by this
degree of improvement. What could it mean?
I was excited, and more confident. My whole general sense of well-being was improved. No
longer did I feel constrained or overly anxious when thinking about my past mistakes. Life is a mix
of good and bad. There are deeds to be proud of and deeds to be ashamed of. So what__that my
life consists of extraordinary as well as ordinary experiences. So what__if others do not agree with
or support my reasoning. So what__ if those whom I love may not love me in return. Never had
I felt so full of platonic love and compassion and good-spiritedness toward family members, friends,
and other acquaintances with whom I had an ongoing relationship. In addition (and for the first
time in years), I was happy with myself. As my neighbor friend Millie put it, I was on cloud nine."
206
I.e., Feed for livestock, especially coarsely chopped hay or straw.

The improvement was wonderful, yet traumatic. At first, I found it hard to accept as really true-not with all the stress my brain had been subjected to between 1968 and 1972 from (a) chemical
toxicity and/or (b) electroconvulsive therapy treatments. Nonetheless, it was true. Emotionally
speaking, I was feeling like my old normal self. That faint but restraining undercurrent anxiety that
had prevailed since my release from the hospital in late December 1971 dissipated sometime during
the first three months of 1996. Although I cannot recall the exact date it happened, the first time
I experienced a relaxing of that bothersome feeling was one evening while I was preparing a
casserole for dinner. The recipe called for layering the combining ingredients in the following order:
1st 2nd 3rd 4th -
a layer of partly-cooked broccoli,

a layer of cooked flaked fish,
a layer of prepared tomato and fat-free cheese sauce,
a thin layer of crushed cornflake crumbs.
As I was about to add the sauce, I noticed that the order of the broccoli and fish was reversed.
Oh . . . , I said But near-immediately thought to myself, It does not matter; all of it is in there.
Wondering if my markedly improved mental condition might have possibly been brought on by
the Premarin estrogen hormone that I had been taking since early 1995, I made an appointment later
in the month to see my family physician about the possibility of the HRT medication stimulating cell
growth. It is known to stimulate cancer cells' growth. When I spoke with my primary physician at
the Bayside medial center, he did not say the 625 mg. of Premarin I was taking each day might be
the underlining cause of the improvement. What he did do was take a pap smear, a urine sample,
draw two vials of blood (for checking hemoglobin, cholesterol, et cetera ), and have me go get a
mammogram. After the tests were completed, and the results read, the physician said I was in
"good health.", . . . and then wrote the next Premarin prescription for three (or more) refills. I am
not positive about the exact number, but the doctor's prescriptions usually read: "no refills." So
what changed his mind about how many refills to allow before requiring me to come back in for a
checkup?
*
At various times between April 1996 and the end of July 1996, I shared the highlights of my
phenomenal spiritual experience with a few close acquaintances with whom I had an ongoing
relationship. These confessionals also contained information about the collateral adverse reaction
to the diet medication Biphetamine, and what Dr. Blair had said about it in his explanatory letter of
June 20, 1975 to the president of ODU. This small group of confidants included Rabbi Zoberman
and a few other members of the Reform Jewish congregation of which I have been an affirmed
member since July 1991, my sisters' Margaret and Jean, and a next-door neighbor named Mildred
Kirby.
After stoically hearing me out, and cautioning me to take its information with a grain of salt,"
Mildred proposed to lend me her copy of The Merck Manual 207that I might see for myself what was
said in that as doctors bible about the probable causes of a paranoia episode. The following
pertinent information was found on page 1470, and pages 2340 to 2341, respectively:
a. The rapid development of a paranoid illness, particularly in a previously well-adjusted personality,

should lead to a very careful clinical assessment and investigations to exclude an underlying organic
disorder due to systemic illness (e.g., hypothyroidism), brain disease (e.g., neurosyphilis), or drug
toxicity (e.g., amphetamines). . . .
b. Amphetamine and related psychostimulent drugs ( methyphenidate, phenmetrzine) have been
used in depression. . . . CNS stimulants are widely used to increase alertness, inhibit fatigue,
suppress appetite,. . . . The failure of most obese patients to lose weight satisfactorily by attempting
to decrease food intake alone has led to widespread us of anorectic agents. Though these drugs may
be of value in beginning a weight reduction program, their long-term utility has been seriously
questioned. . . . Amphetamine is a prototype CNS stimulant.
Combined with the information provided in Dr. Blairs letter of June 20, 1975, 208 what my
husband had shared with me, plus data from Mercks medical manual, I was able to acquire a better
understanding of the influence of the psychostimulent drug Biphetamine upon my brain during the
period I took 20mg/day of that prescribed medication (from around mid-1965 to mid-November
1971). Whereas my daily use of Biphetamine was not abusive, it was prolonged. And as adverse
207
to be referenced for publishing date, etc.
208
See Endnote IV.

reaction after adverse reaction to other medications has since shown, my physiological system is
inclined to develop an intolerance for medications, especially to those of the time release variety.
As previously mentioned, I had finally persuaded my husband to talk about my past illness with
me. By now, we had become like honeymooners again__only better. While the aphrodisiac209
effects caused me to wonder, I also knew that the spiritual happening made me less sexually
inhibited than I had been at the time of our honeymoon in July 1950.210 I was, of course, ecstatic
over recovering my old" emotional level self.
Each of the confiding sessions proved to be surprisingly beneficial. Blessed be the family
members, the friends, and also all those persons of the medical industry who have helped me to
help myself. Help me to help myself__that is all I ever asked of either (a) a mortal acquaintance or
(b) the unknown Almighty Thou.
Reality?
Around one oclock p.m. on July 28, 1996, I stood looking out through the doorway to the
backyard at the scene before me. Birds could be heard flitting about amidst the tree branches near
the house. A couple of squirrels were scurrying up and down the trunks of the live oak tree near
the shoreline. Thanks to my husbands gardening skills, the grass was thick and of a lush green
color. The sun was shining, and the warm musky aroma of the hot summer air floated in through
the screened door. As I was thinking about what I was seeing, hearing, smelling, being touched by
(as the soft breezes) and enjoying of nature kind , I suddenly recognized that not only does reality
209
210
W hich I was to later recognize as having been caused by the Premarin estrogen supplement
Nor, I should add, was I taking .625 mg/day of an aphrodisiac hormone stimulant like Premarin in 1950.
Let me also note that it was not until sometime after stopping Premarin that I discovered that this drug is a CNS (Central
Nervous System) stimulant.

vary from person to person, it is of two distinct types:
1st - The unnamed reality or awareness of what we see, hear, think of, or otherwise
experience via our physical and mental senses combined.
2nd - The reality or awareness of the word names or other symbols we ascribe to those
unnamed things we have seen, heard, thought of, or otherwise experienced via our combined
physical and mental senses.
Naming our raw realities or awarenesses appropriately is not always easy to do. Yet, by
connotation as well as denotation, a word or phrase should be liter all y des cr i pt i ve of what it
is used to symbolize or name. Otherwise, we distort or misrepresent ourselves. I would again refer
you to William Shakespeare's poetized sound advice about literal self-honesty:

Thou canst not then be false to any. . . .
Ever vulnerable to error, we may draw a false conclusion, make an error in judgment, even not
be able to distinguish the fictional from the factual; but if we describe our experiences as they
literally are, we will then not misrepresent our realities.
Thanks to the efforts of Sigmund Freud, there is now a greater inclination to seek to
distinguish between the differing parts and functions of the human psyche. In order to determine
which of our mental actions are of our volition and which are of the involuntary or subconscious
level, we have to examine our own minds. Or as the ancients put it, "Know thyself."
Situations can be intellectually understood and yet not fully grasped. On May 27, 1969, I had
recognized that the word Sunday and Sabbath are not synonyms. But it was not until this day in
July 1996, that I came to a full realization about the distinct d i f f e r e n c e between (1) our raw
realities or experiences and (2) the various tools or methods we deploy for cataloguing and/or
sharing our respective ideas or memories.
s it turned out, all was not physically well within my brain in the spring of 1996; for by July
25, 1996, my central nervous system had become so overstimulated I could not stay asleep more
than three hours per day. My mind was racing. It was terrible--this inability to get any significant
rest from thinking. Something had to be done. Wondering if the Premarin medication211 might
be the cause of the hyperactivity, I stopped taking it.
On the Monday following (July 29), I phoned the prescribing physician and told him what I
had done and why. At the time of that call, there had not been any noticeable adverse side effects
from the sudden withdrawal of the estrogen supplement.
By the fifth day, however, there surely were. It was like "PMS-squared." Also there were heart
palpitations, especially when I would first fall asleep at night; so much so, they would awaken me.
My husband could even feel them as I lay cuddled to his back. And twice I had to stop during my
regular evening two and a quarter-mile walk and take deep breaths to give my heart a chance to
resume regular rhythm before continuing on home. I also slowed my walking rate down some.
For about eight days, it got rather scary at times. But I managed to fight off the like "mid-life
crisis" feelings of both physical and emotional kind by taking frequent rests and/or spending some
time outdoors in the hammock where I could feel the natural real breezes, see real trees, listen to
the sounds of real birds, and watch the beautiful sky of blue overhead. All these dependable nature
things of physical kind strengthened my sense of reality and helped reduce the nervous shock
feelings that tended to arise by late afternoon. Additionally, I began drinking a can of Ensure at
noontime, just in case I might not have been eating a sufficiently balanced lunch. Also, I prayed
a lot. By August 16, the extreme nervousness and instances of increased irregular heartbeat
episodes had just about stopped. The insomnia was not as bad, either. Sometimes, I managed to
make it from twelve o'clock midnight to around four-thirty a.m. without waking up. Within about
six weeks, I could sleep on the average of six to seven hours a night. That's normal for me.
My physical energy level, although lower than I would like for it to be, is also typical for me.
As for the general sense of well-being, it continues to be good. In fact, it is very good. My mental
energy remains high. And although the short-term memory power improvement dropped some
211
W hich I had begun taking in early 1995

after the Premarin was stopped, I continue to have less trouble remembering a number or phrase
for having discovered the need to focus upon these things longer than I had been in the habit of
doing. I now mentally recite the numbers or word(s) as I am looking at them. The rushed focusing
habit was, I think, partly due to my not expecting to be able to memorize each character of the
whole expression long enough to write it down without looking back at the numerical or worded
expression.
Like Biphetamine, the Premarin mediation produced both positive and adverse consequences.
Before reaching the unhealthy level, the Premarin stimulant helped me to recover some of my
previously diminished enthusiasm or joy at living. With the improved short-term memory power,
I also felt more confident regarding my intellectual abilities. In fact, it had been more than thirty
years since I had felt this at ease doing creative work.
The following information about memory formation from pages 242-243 of the Owners Manual
for the Brain 212 appears to be supportive of my assumption that the amount of time spent focusing
upon an object or scene can make a significant difference:
Forming a chunk of memory is like making a photograph. Regard photography as a three-stage

process: capturing the image on light-sensitive film, developing the film with chemicals, and fixing
the image permanently with chemicals. A similar process happens in memory-chunk formation:
capturing the chunk (immediate memory) developing the chunk (short-term memory), and fixing
the chunk (long-term memory). . . .
Short-term memory appears to function in the hippocampus as a kind of broker that selects
chunks of data to remember. A chunk is defined as an unfamiliar array of seven (plus or minus
two) pieces, or bits, of information. . . .
Decision theorist Herbert Simon says that it takes about eight seconds of attention to add one
new chunk to short-term memory. Once a chunk has been completely mastered, it becomes a bit
and can then be combined with other bits to become a new chunk. In other words, a new chunk loses
its identity as a chunk after it becomes second nature to us. Chunks become bits, just as images on
film become printable negatives after developing.
Long term memory appears to be located in the cerebral cortex. Apparently, hippocampus
short-term memory communicates with the cortex through what we call simple human will or effort;
over time, it establishes chunks in long-term storage.
212
Pierce I Howard, Owner's Manual for the Brain: Everyday Applications from Mind-brain Research
( Austin, TX: Leornian Press, A Bard press book, 1994.). OMB
y the fall of 1996, I had also finally gotten the nerve to provide my (now grownup) children
with an oral synopsis of the transcendent event I had undergone. Once that had been accomplished,
a heavy weight was lifted. The dreaded thing did not happen; that is, they did not turn away from
me in boggle-eyed dismay. Indeed, they could not have been more attentive and helpful. I am so
proud of them, and so appreciative.
Never having been presented with a literally descriptive account of a spiritual happening of this
magnitude, I cannot imagine how the comparatively uninitiated viewer might feel about my report.
It wasn't easy for me to accept it, and even harder to tell about it; for although I suspect there have
been others who have undergone an in-depth interaction with the divine presence, Moses (and
possibly Socrates) are the only ones I have ever heard or read about having undergone a spiritual
revelation event of this degree.
Well, rare or not so rare 213, it happened to me. And it would be cowardly of me to pretend that
my ability to perceive the biblical writings as they are ( figurative rather than literally descriptive
accounts of spiritual phenomena) is the result of logical reasoning alone. While this reality can be
accomplished by logical reasoning alone, that is not what happened in my case. Prior to about 10
a.m. of January 14, 1969, I had never recognized that statements beginning with "God said", "God
called", "God appeared to", "God spoke unto", "God heard", etc. were literally false statements.
And although by mid-September 1968, I had come to doubt that things were as I had once believed
them to be, that doubting did not lead me to attempt to write any philosophical essays. It was the
spiritual happening that led me to do a review of what life on earth has been like for me to-date, and
to finally attempt this journal-styled treatise. Yes, the very first sensory vision of a hovered presence
substantiated the event as a transcendent level spiritual presence revelation happening.
After providing my sons and daughters with an oral synopsis of the spiritual event, and giving
them a copy of Dr. Blair's letter, I began work on doing a written report.
As it happened, that life review and commentary proved to be too personal and too lengthy to
be considered for publication. In addition, all the detailed stuff about what my growing up years
(1932 to 1950) were like was too distractive. While it was helpful to me to list and expound upon
213
It's quite possible that it has happened a number of times, . . . but was not talked about or written down.

all those unprecedented (FIRSTS) formative years' categories of experiences common to almost all
people, and they will be of interest and value to my children and other kindred, it could not be
expected to be of interest to the general public. The experience I needed to keep the focus upon for
the general public was the unprecendented (for me) spiritual happening that I underwent between
January 14, 1969 and mid-July 1970. Without question, that was the experience of most notable
inference. Had it not been for that event, . . .; well, I cannot even imagine how I would have
otherwise dealt with my doubts and concerns about the future quality of life I could expect for my
sons and daughters.
ENDNOTES
Fig. 106. Copy of a page from the 1905 edition of Magils Linear School Bible.
26
In Summation
____________
gain, be reminded that all of our information about both: (a) the
cause of the primary creations and (b) the cause of subsequent

involuntary natural events has come from the following two known
sources:
1st -- The natural world [including all the natural parts of

ourselves]
Fig. 107. Earth & moon in space.
Credit NASA.
2nd -- Speeches, writings, drawings, sculptures, engravings, photographs, videos, movies,

dances, etc. tangible communicative means produced or devised by us mere mortal creative
powers.
As previously stated, my first reason for doing this treatise was to provide my children and
other persons as well with a straightforward literally descriptive written account of what a
transcendent level spiritual happening is like. Yet, I also wanted to point out some things which
might motivate others to be more considerate when using ohvkt and/or equivalent words or phrases
when speaking, writing, and signing. For instance, the names certain of us have given to the
unknown Creative Cause of our species (e.g.,
ohvkt / The Almighty Creative Power, Allah, etc.)
should not be used as power words to reinforce or as authenticate one's own speculations. When

words connoting or implying gender and other physical properties are ascribed to the Almighty
Thou, they tend to boomerang back to us physically-embodied creative beings of mortal (finite) life
kind. It is both misleading and dishonorable to portray the envisionedbut unknownAlmighty
Creative Mental Power as likened to one of us mortal creative mental powers.
Perhaps you do not think that the primary creations were created by an Almighty Creative
Mental Power. But if, like myself, you do believe that the primary cosmic world was the work of
an Absolute or Infinitely existing Creative Mental Power, is it fair to ascribe speaking lines to this
envisioned Creative Cause of our species? If you are honest about what you know and what you
do not know, you would have to affirm that you do not know the Almighty Thou. Thus, . . . ?
The word holy (i.e., "spiritually perfect and pure, untainted by evil or sin, sinless"214) is devalued
when it is used as a title for one of us (e.g.," holy father"). It is also devalued when it is used to
mean the quality of certain of our creative works (e.g., "holy bible"). The only thing on this planet
to possibly be of the holy quality would be the invisible spiritual presence within each of us called
vuvh,
pneuma agion, presence, et cetera.
And as repeatedly noted, vuvh (the divine presence) within us does not actually tell us anything.
Expressions like "Yehovah spoke unto Moses" and "My conscience tells me" are misdirective.
Young children need to hear nature things accurately described, for they cannot readily distinguish
figurative speech from literal speech.
And as I noted in the entry on my speaking and writing styles, we also need to be literally
descriptive when referring to events of physical involuntary nature kind. For instance, we need to
stop referring to the cause of high winds, flooding, earthquakes, etc involuntary natural physical
events as "mother nature." There is nothing motherly or care-taking about these climatic disasters.
The only things in the cosmic world to be of a motherly nature are female animals and female human
beings. Neither does the word "fury" fit the forces of involuntary nature. Only we mortal creative
powers of humankind are prone to emotive feelings of fury.
We also need to be more respectful toward ourselves. For regardless of our differing gender,
differing race, differing talents, we are all of the same species. This is our common status, our
214
W NCD

reason to be proud. Regardless of what our personal so-called "values" might be, it is we natural
beings who are the as "pot of gold at the rainbow's end." Naturally speaking, each of us is of the
same absolute value.
And again, let us stop saying such things as: God [/ the Almighty Thou] says, wants, told me,
warned me, etc. This habit hurts everyone; for regardless of what a person says, no mortally existing
human being knows the envisioned Creative Cause of the primary natural cosmic world. Belief in
is not equal to knowledge of. So let's stop the pretense!
A s previously noted, the prayer I submitted
during the night of January 13-14, 1969, was my first-
ever direct I-to-Thou personalized prayer to the presumed Maker of the human mind and other parts
of the primary natural world. Before that, I had only prayed after the mimicry oblique rote manner
(e.g., "Our Father [The Absolute/Infinite Creative Mental Power] who art in heaven, . . . .", et
cetera).
No longer mesmerized by the say-so of certain of my past and present peers regarding the Cause
of our species and other parts of the primary cosmic world, I enjoy a degree of emotional comfort
I had never known before. For instance, neither written nor spoken threats of "hell fire" and/ or
"eternal damnation" frighten me. Beyond these words is the realization that neither did the persons
I first heard uttering them know what happens to we inner mental beings when the body part of us
dies.
Neither do the biblical verses portraying the Almighty as favoring the male human being over
the female human being and supporting some ethnic groups of us over some other ethnic groups of
us cause me to doubt or disrespect the fairness of the Almighty Thou. For beyond the "word" of the
biblical authors is the reality that there in nothing in reliable involuntary nature to substantiate those
sex-biased and race-biased positions attributed to the envisioned Cause of our species. Clearly, it
is certain of us creative beings of humankind who are responsible for the injustices: sexism and
racism.

Hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, etc. catastrophic "natural disasters" result in many untimely
deaths each year, but there is no natural evidence that the Almighty Thou is the direct cause of these
deaths. Neither is there any natural evidence that those who survive, survive because the Almighty
Thou directly intervened to help them survive--while willfully letting some others undergo an
untimely death. Such deeds would be unfair, disrespectful, even cruel.
Some of us have either claimed to beor have even been presumed to be--chosen representatives
of the Almighty Creative Cause of our species. But beyond those persons' words is the reality that
all of the humankind is vulnerable to errors in interpretation and judgment.
Point of Fact: gWhether categorically fictional or nonfictional, all speeches and writings are
manifestations of human thought and construction.
As for the various differing supernal215 mental powers I have heard or read about in the founding
bibles, the only one I can find any natural evidence in support of is the one referred to by the titles:
ohvkt (Hebrew.),
(Greek), and
(Arabic).
Unfortunately, each of these three names is ascribed a grammatical gender of masculine kind-even though gender is a physical reproductive property peculiar to finite life.
*
Finally, why did the author(s) of the Torah dare to portray both the Almighty Thou (ohvkt) and
the divine spiritual presence ( vuvh) speaking with certain of our past peers? They would not have
expected their narrations to be taken literally. And why not? Because--as I have repeatedly pointed
215
Again, supernatural includes the qualitative word natural, . . . and natural applies to the things of the
known cosmic world. Hence, I use supernal when referring to fictionalized or theorized non-human creative mental
power.

pointed out--and now restate:
g Any sentence or clause that has a nonhuman speaking subject is a fictional 216 one.
Ex. Now the serpent said unto the woman, Ye . . . . (Genesis 3:4)
Ex. And God [the Almighty Power] said, Let us make man [humankind] in our image, after
our likeness: . . . . (Genesis 1:26)
g Any sentence or clause that has some part of the human involuntary subconscious as a
speaking subject is a fictionalized one.
Ex. Now the Lord [spiritual presence/holy spirit] had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy
country, and from thy kindred, and from they fathers house, unto a land that I will shew
thee: (Genesis 12:1)
Ex. And he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel [messenger] of the
LORD [divine presence], and Satan [the Adversary] standing at his right hand to accuse
him. (Zachariah 3:1)
g Any use of the word I other than (a) when referring to either ones own inner voluntary
level minds I or that of another person, (b) ones own whole body-mind self, or (c) as the word
under discussion is of fictionalized usage.
Ex. And God [the Almighty Power] said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before
Me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them
with the earth. (Genesis 6:13) .
Ex. And God [? ] said unto Moses, I A M T H A T I A M , . . . . (Exodus 3:14).
Ex. And God [the Almighty Power] spake all these words, saying, I am the Lord thy
God [presence (of the) Almighty Creative Power . . . , Thou shall have no other
gods217 before me. (Exodus 20:1-3).
216
By fictional I mean to include all types of figurative narration (e.g., allegories, metaphors, similes,
poems/psalms).
217
I.e., deities ( objects of worship).

g No human being existed to witness the originating of the stars, etc. parts of the
primary cosmic world.
Ex. 1. IN THE beginning God [the Almighty Power] created the heaven and the earth.
2. Now the earth was unformed and void, and darkness was upon the face [surface]
of the deep; and the spirit of God [the Almighty Power] hovered over the face of
the waters.
3. And God [the Almighty Power]. . . said: 'Let there be light.' And there was light.
g Whether called by the title Messiah or Christ, no person can save us from being
human!
Ex.
jhan ("ma-shei-ach")/ anointed one ( the Hebrew word from which
the English
titles Messiah and Christ were derived): Then shalt thou take the anointing oil, and pour
it upon his head218 , and anoint him. (Exodus 29:7).
g The only likenesses of creative beings that can be sketched, sculptured, or

photographed are those done of us mortals by us mortals.
g And again, whether categorically fictional or nonfictional, all speeches and writings
about anything whatsoever are manifestations of human thought and human
construction.
Please, let us play fair, and us stop ascribing speaking lines to the envisionedbut unknown-Almighty Creative Power!
__________
Note: Part III. of this abridged version to follow next includes only those events alluded to within
the context of certain of the entries about events that occurred during the 1966 to 1970 period of
my adult life.
218
head of Aaron, Moses' brother
Part III-Related Childhood Events
'From Innocence To Awareness

____________
Date in Re: September, 1938

Event:
FIRST day of public school
he only photograph I have of myself under twelve years of age is a
trimmed school picture taken when I was eight years old. My

teacher at this time (Ms. Sutton) gets the credit for doing my hair. She
not only combed out the tangles, she put a ribbon in it. I did not own
any hair ribbons.
The physical changes that occur between six and eight years of age
are usually not drastic ones. My facial appearance on my first day at
Peninsula School in September 1938 was probably very similar to what
it is in the school photo at right.
Fig. 108. Crop of school photo.
As I look at the inserted photo image of eight-year-old me, the thought comes to mind: How
did others perceive me? Trying to recall what my childhood was like requires strong focusing upon
what I saw, I heard, I felt, I thought, I wondered, et cetera. Up until I added this picture to the
page, no thought had been given to how six-year-old me may have been perceived by other persons.
Neither had I felt any actual sympathy or pity for my childhood self. But looking upon the face
of the little girl I was, a rush of tenderness flows over me for a l l young children. Oh, how v e r y
innocent, unlearned, and dependent the young ones are upon the good will and knowledge of their
parents and other guiding adults. What an awesome responsibility we parents have with regard to
our one or more begotten-conceived children!

Readiness and Expectations
As I readied for my first day of school on the morning of September 1938, my expectations
were as grand as might have been those of the most economically and culturally affluent child in the
county. I was expecting only good things to happen when I arrived at school. And why not? As
far as natural innate worth is concerned, each child is equally worthy?
All those times I had sat and watched my Grandma Annie carefully inscribe the letters on the
hand-ruled paper she had prepared for writing to her two sons who lived in Norfolk, Virginia, it had
seemed like such a special skill to me. Then, too, there were the writing materials I had received
a few months prior to whet my interest. Although the pack of pencils and the pastel rainbow-colored
tablet my mothers friends had given me on my sixth birthday were probably all used up by this
date, the excitement and expectations they had generated in me were not. I was motivated, ready
to learn the skill that allows a person to write letters and read like I had observed Grandma Annie
doing.
Most modern day six-year-olds have some idea of what school is like before they enter first
grade. Not me. School was to be a brand-new experience for me. Kindergarten was not yet
available, and neither had I attended any private preschool classes. TV had not yet come into
existence. Hence, neither did I have Sesame Street and like childrens programs to provide some
examples of what school was like. A few people had battery-operated radios, but no one in the
household where I lived did. Thus, I was also devoid of that kind of preschool influence. Some
children attended Sunday [religious] school classes, but I had never been inside a religious
institution. Whatever religious schooling I received had come from family members. As for
books, the only book I can recall having seen before entering first grade was the black-covered
King James Bible 219 that lay atop a chest near the treadle sewing machine in the small parlor of my
grandparents house.
Some children may have had preschool level books with pictures to look at, but there were none
in the house where I resided. The only pictures or photographs I can recall ever having seen were
the photo-portraits of two of my deceased relatives that hung on the parlor wall: Andrew Hugate,
Daddy's twenty-one-year-old bachelor brother, and Annie Mae Jarvis, Daddys two-year-old niece.
219
with its Family Records pages for listing births, etc vital statistics.

Neither had I had any neighborhood children to play with before entering school. With the
exception of the several adult friends of my mother who came to my birthday celebration in June of
that year, the only persons I can recall having had any preschool contact with were family members.
My paternal uncles and aunts, their spouses, and their children did come to visit at my paternal
grandparents house sometimes. I had also been taken to visit some of them a few times. But not
once had I ever spent the day with total strangers.
Yes, my first day of public school was very different from that of the average 1990s' child in the
counties and the cities of Tidewater Virginia. For me, it was also my as debut into the collateral
neighborhood society.
*
At last, the much anticipated day had arrived.
am seated beside Grandpa Dick in the buggy.

Bessie, the farm mare, is trotting along nicely, . . .
and it is my hope that she will continue to do so.
You never knew with that horse.
Sometimes she would take off and run like a
bat out of hell.220When she would do that
runaway thing, no amount of pulling on the reins
would make her stop until she is ready to stop.
Once she nellified 221 whilst I was astride her back.
Fig. 109. Photo of similar horse & buggy courtesy of Megan

at www.tripletbnb.com.
The gunny sack beneath me slipped and slid, but somehow I managed to hold onto her mane while
she ran it out. This runaway thing had something to do with the horse eating too much green corn,
or so I was told.
As we roll along the dirt road,222 Bessie's hooves and the revolving buggy wheels combine to
stir up a lot of dust. The dust swirls up around and upon me. It is a hot sunny day, and my sensitive
220
I shall insert colloquial idioms where either I or the person I am writing about would probably have
uttered them.
221
Thats what the in-house adults called the condition.
222
Route 619, now hard-surfaced and named Cakes Creek Lane.

skin223 itches beneath the dark green long-sleeved dress of homespun weight fabric that Grandma
Annie had made for me. The dress reaches near down to my ankles. My legs are covered in long
black stockings. As I recall, Grandma Annie made those too. My new outfit is finished off with a
pair of ugly brown leather high-top shoes Daddy bought for me to wear to school. [My feet had been
bare all summer long.] The shoes looked very much like the modern bootie or hiking shoe, but
they surely did not feel like them. Those brogans were hard and stiff.
Despite all the discomforts of the stiff shoes, itching skin, and dust in my face, I thought myself
one lucky girl. What could be nicer? Here I was all dressed up and having a buggy ride with my
Grandpa Dick, . . . and at last g o i n g to school.
...
We finally complete our
journey down the dirt lane to
route 617 (North River Road)
and on through the woods
(Turnpike Road) to where
route 619 intersects with
route
660
(now
named
Mobjack Road). Less than

one-half mile south of that
junction
is
located
the
building that once served as

Peninsula School.
Fig. 110. Grey tone copy of Polaroid color photo of closed Peninsula School building
taken by me in 1972.
Upon entering the curved

pathway leading in and out of
the school yard, Grandpa drives the buggy on over to the pump stand near the pine tree about forty
feet to the right side (viewed from the highway) of the school building. Bringing the mare to a stop
with a pull of the reins and a Whoa," Grandpa Dick gets down and loosely ties the mares reins to
something so she would not wander off. Then he pumps some of the well water for the horse,
223
I was born with a skin disorder called Ichthyosis.

himself, and me. The school had no indoor water fountain. A
pail and dipper were provided for us at this outdoor manual
water pump station.
After the three of us were watered, Grandpa Dick takes me
by the hand and leads me over to the front entrance of the school
building. Ascending the wide front steps that led to the front
double doors, we proceed straight ahead down the short hall to
the classroom for the first, second, and third grade students at
the right rear corner of the building. Walking me on over to the
teachers desk, Grandpa says: This is my granddaughter
Lizbeth.224 Make her behave herself. He then turns to me and
says, I will be back to get you after school.
That was good enough for me. You could rely upon
Grandpa Dick to keep his word. At least, I have no
Fig. 111. Photo of tree with pump stand

insert taken by me.
remembrance of him ever having lied to me.
...
The first day of school is over. All the other children have gone
home. But not me. I am seated on one of the long concrete front
steps of the school. A short distance away at my left (facing the
highway), the teacher is holding an impromptu conference with
my grandfather. Considering what I go on to recall of this days
happenings, she was upset over more than what Grandpa Dick
had told me about heaven on earth. However, all I remember
of their conversation is Ms. Bessie admonishing my grandfather
Fig. 111.1. Crop from a 1989 photo of the
school taken by me.
224
about what he had taught me, . . .how he looked, . . .and what he
Most of my nee family members called me Lizbeth." Some still do.

said in response to her remarks:
Ms. Bessie - You should not put such notions in her head, get her hopes up. You know how things
are at home. [ By things she meant in regard to his youngest son and the sons wife (my parents)].
Grandpa Dick - Standing there in his worn bibbed overalls with straw hat clutched in his gnarled
and aging fingers , and feet squirming a little in the dust of the trodden curved dirt driveway in
front of the school, this gentle and kindhearted illiterate old man tells his much-admired neighbor:
I know you are educated and all that, Miss Bessie, but there are some things even you
dont know.
Without further comment, my grandfather lifts me onto the buggy seat, and off we go. I
have no recollection of our ride back to the farmhouse.
______________
Epilogue
o what notions were Ms. Bessie referring to? I cannot be sure about everything she was
alluding to by such notions," but the main one was the following thing about heaven that
Grandpa Dick had told me sometime before I started school:
There is a heaven on earth; and if you are a good girl, someday you will find it.225
After allowing myself to remember this formerly repressed memory of the embarrassing (to
me at the time) after-school conference between the teacher and my grandfather, I went on to
recall the fore-cited statement about heaven, . . . and also other things that had gotten me in
trouble this first day at Peninsula School.
As for why I repeated Grandpa Dicks saying, perhaps it was a Share n Tell event. All I
remember is that I did share the verse, and that some of my classmates challenged the truth of
it. It is so true!, I had bristled in response. My grandpa told me so, and he never tells a
lie.226
Like I said, Grandpa Dicks statement was not the only thing that my new school
acquaintances found odd about me. Some of my classmates snickered at the way I was dressed.
No wonder. My attire was likened to that of the character Laura of the TV series: Little House
on the Prairie. The frontier style of clothing may have still been in vogue when Grandma
Annies daughters Georgie and Clara started school in the very early 1900s, but the girls in my
1938 classroom wore knee-length cotton percale dresses with short sleeves and anklet socks.
I was the only girl wearing a dark calf-length dress and long black knit stockings. 227
*
225
A little over thirty years later, I would begin to discover just how true Grandpa Dick's "notion" about heaven
on earth was.
226
227
And as previously stated, I have no recollection of him ever having lied to me.
Not long after, my Uncle Julius's wife (Mary Gibson Hugate) saw to it that two short-sleeved cotton percale
dresses were made for me. One was red, the other was blue. Both were of the princess style, and buttoned down the
front. I also remember getting some regular anklet socks.

Albeit my grandfather's inspirational refers to a state-of-mind,
there is some of the physical celestial heaven on earth. I mean__do not
the rays of the solar-star we call "sunshine" fall upon our earthly home
all the days of our oxygen-dependent finite lives? Whether brightly or
faintly (as on a cloudy day), that celestial energy source never stops
emitting those heavenly light-giving rays we call "sunlight." But as it
happened, it was my son James who first pointed out this fact to me.
It came about as follows:
Fig. 112. General0153.jpg

courtesy of MF4.0.
James and I were seated together on a pew in the newly built sanctuary of Lynnhaven Colony United
Church. It was a bright sunny morning, and the suns rays were spraying down through the skylight
directly over the pulpit area. Nudging me and pointing upward toward the skylight, young James
whispered: It looks like a little bit of heaven shining through.
At the time (early 1960s), I was a bit shocked at the (then) ten-year-olds comment.
Grandpa Dick's motivational line was a most fair one. Whereas the connotation I picked up
along with Grandpas words implied that the heaven on earth he was speaking of was a good thing
to seek after, I had no concept of what he was actually alluding to until a f t e r I underwent the
transcendent interaction with the self-revealing spiritual presence on the morning of January
14,1969. But figuratively speaking, the as emancipated state of mind is truly beatific, or as some
would say: "heavenly."
But as it happened, what I overheard my first grade teacher say about my kinfolk made a longlasting negative effect upon how I perceived both myself and my kindred. Hitherto, I had not
thought of any member of the Hugate family as either inferior or superior. We just were. But now,
neither my parents nor I was acceptable. Grandpa Dicks ways and teachings were also tarnished.
Too young to be able to reason for myself after a logical and fair-minded manner about my family
members and Grandpa Dick's saying, I was measuring my worth and that of my immediate kindred
according to the expressed opinion of the teacher. It would take me years to recognize that my
first grade teacher was of no more natural prestige than was my illiterate paternal grandfather.

The ability to read and write ones national language is a very important asset, but Grandpa
Dicks illiteracy did not make him a failure at living. In the most important ways, my paternal
grandfather was a very successful human being.
Neither, I would add, did Ms. Bessies insensitive remarks to my grandfather concerning his
son and daughter-in-law make her unfit to teach elementary school age children. It would have been
better had she been more tactful, but she proved to be a good academic instructor.
It was, however, my comparatively uneducated paternal grandfather who provided me with my
first remembered example of everyday courage. Indeed, the haughty attitude of some teachers,
doctors, lawyers, etc. professionals can be very intimidating. Thankfully, Grandpa Dick did not let
Ms. Bessies professional status and remarks about his son and daughter-in-law make a coward of
him. I am so very proud of this man for standing up for himself, his beliefs or principles, and his
granddaughters right to an equal opportunity for a fair pursuit of happiness. The socioeconomic
status of a childs parents is separate from the childs innate natural rights.
The child who rode back home from Peninsula School of that day in September 1938 was of a
far different psychological mind-set than the one who had left for school that morning. My
innocence was gone. The near automatic pride and affection I had previously held for my nee
family members were replaced with shame, shame for who I was: the daughter of Ernest Hugate and
Marion Sadler Hugate. To feel embarrassed about ones parents behavior is sometimes a due
response, but to feel ashamed of who one is because of one's genetic kinship should not happen.
Ones civil rights or natural importance is not a kinship, race, sex, or nationality issue.
The Divine Presence, Source of Conscience ?

____________
Date in Re: School term of either

1938-1939 or 1939-1940
Place:
Peninsula School
Event:
FIRST
detection of the spiritual

presence.228
oth the girls toilet and the boys toilet were
located at the far left (viewed from road) edge of

the Peninsula Elementary School yard.
Fig. 113. The photo in fig. 110 with directional arrows added.
Although class was in session, I had needed

to go to the toilet. Coming out the school through the front entrance, I had taken the pathway
indicated by the arrows added to the above photo, turned the corner, and was on the straightway
path back to the outdoor outhouse bathroom setup when I suddenly experienced:
The sensation or impression of a steady invisible presence hovering a l o n g s i d e me.
As with my shadow on a sunny day, I could not run away from this attending nearby Presence.
Where I went, it went. It was frightening. I was alone. There was not another human being in
228
Also named holy spirit, and like the word conscience, probably stands for t h e s o u r c e of conscience.

sight. All was quiet in the school yard. I was about seven years of age at the time. As you might
suppose, I took off running the remainder of the distance to the toilet.
Not once did I mention this happening to anyone else. Who would believe me? It was too scary.
Look what kind of trouble I had gotten into with the teacher and my classmates after sharing
Grandpa Dicks spiritual life motivation statement: Theres a heaven on earth; and if you are a
good girl, some day you will find it.
This is the only remembrance I have of sensing the invisible presence during my childhood.
___________
Epilogue
ince the spiritual presence within us was consistently called conscience, I did not associate that
word to the presence I experienced on this day in the late 1930s.

Holy Ghost and holy spirit were also frequently mentioned during my growing-up years , but
I never did hear anyone say that either of those expressions were synonyms for conscience. One
would think that even the Christian preachers would have known that the literal meaning of the
Hebrew word
vuvh is presence.
But on second thought, how many of them questioned or tried to
verify the King James authorized scholars' translation of the included Hebrew Scriptures?
Rene` Descartes proposed that there is a distinction between mind and body, but he did not have
a lot to say about the distinctive parts and functions of the mind/psyche. To my knowledge, it has
only been since Sigmund Freuds time that much attention has been given to the nature and functions
of the involuntary subconscious part of our mental self/psyche (s).
gOf all the words or titles I have heard given to the source of conscience within us, the word's
"presence" or "spirit" are the most literally descriptive of the attending nearby presence experienced
by me on this day in 1939, . . . and again in the more emphatic form of a hovered sensory vision on
the morning of January 14, 1969.
I no longer judge or value my behavior by other persons' standards. Thus, if the presence which
I experienced on this day in 1939--and in the vision on January 14, 1969--is not what causes me
to feel accepted, though not necessarily perfectly correct, what is?

The word conscience is, I suspect, more descriptive of the consequence than the cause (i.e.,
vuvh / the
divine presence, or holy spirit). Some have described this inner other self-like presence
as representative of the divine presence of
ohvkt,
the Almighty Mental Power. True or not, the
seemingly holy or incorruptible self-revealing presence within the mental self/psyche of all of human
kind is the only natural clue we have concerning the possible character of The Maker of the primary
cosmic world. The only thing the other parts of the Supernally created cosmic world suggest is the
existence of an Infinite or Absolute Creative Mental Cause.
From Offense to Forgiveness

____________
Date in Re: Late 1933 or early 1934

Place:
Residence of my paternal grandparents
Event:
FIRST remembrance of anything
ur memories are the mental affidavits of our individual life
experiences. As it happened, my earliest remembrance of anything was

of the man shown in the photo at the right praying aloud on behalf of
himself, his son, and me. In real time order, this is the second of a two-
Fig. 114. Oval from a 1940

family photo of Dick Hugate.
part event. But inasmuch as I had no recollection of the first part until
after allowing myself to remember the second part, I will recount of the two linked events in the
order of remembrance rather than their chronological order:
Approximately eighteen-month-old me is lying in the middle of the full sized bed in the
other229 of the two upstairs bedrooms. The fluffy, feather-filled mattress230 is puffed up
around me like a billowy, cumulus cloud. My little eyes and ears are focused upon the man
229
This other of the two upstairs bedrooms was used for a variety of special situations, including quartering
a sick or injured grandchild for a night or two. Although my grandparents kept their clothing and other personal
belongings in this room, most of the time they slept in a double-bed in the sittin room directly below. W ith one
crying baby after another in the bedroom across the hall from their bedroom, the downstairs parlor was probably the
only place in the house my grandparents could hope to get a good nights sleep between June 30, 1932 and midsummer 1939 (the time my parents, four siblings and I moved to the four-room house Daddy had built for us).
230
The only soft mattress in the house.

kneeling upon the floor near the footboard end of the bed I am lying upon. It is my paternal
grandfather, Silas Rodney Hugate. 231
With palms pressed together and fingertips touching the brow of his slightly bowed head,
he is appealing for forgiveness, understanding, and compassion for himself and my father
(the youngest of his six surviving children).
It was a most passionate plea, one unlike any I ever heard him or any other person utter
in my presence again. Although apparently quite distraught and truly regretful, my
grandfathers demeanor was surprisingly neither mournful nor meek. Nor did he appear to
fear or be in mind-boggling awe of the . . . he was addressing as You. But he was serious,
oh so very serious.
In his candid appeal, this aged man noted how trying I was. She never shuts her
mouth, he said. He then went on to admit that he was partly at fault for his sons sometimes
brutish ways. I should have stepped in more often . . . should have been more firm with him
[when he was growing up]., he says of his own stubborn and difficult to discipline child.
My grandfathers apology sounded profoundly sincere. Yet, he did not rest on the "I am
truly sorry" part. Instead, he would offer some compensation. It might not seem like much,
but I think it is a whole lot-of-much for a man in his seventies to propose to take on the job
of like security guard for an eighteen-month-old child who he admitted was enough to try
anyone's patience. What he pledged was: I will look out for her as long as she is under my
roof. After that, You will. . . . I am not sure of the exact wording of the last part of that
sentence, only that it was of the classic presumption that the Almighty Thou sometimes
intervenes to assist those who help themselves.
Let me hasten to point out that my grandfathers assumption about special help needs to be
strictly qualified. If he meant help via the inner involuntary intermediary spiritual
presence/ vuvh, I agree. But if he meant by direct Supernal intervention, I totally
disagree.
By the time he had finished his talk-out, Grandpa Dick had calmed down some. He
seemed both relieved and confident that: (1) his apology and appeal for understanding and
assistance would be accepted, and (2) that what he proposed in the way of atonement for his
past parental errors and of-the-moment or immediate wrongdoing was a reasonable in good
faith offering.
I do not recall hearing any Amen. Perhaps I had fallen asleep by then.
231
(1861- 1950).

&
Now for what happened before the praying event , . . . or why I was put to bed in Grandpa Dick and
Grandma Annies private bedroom rather than my bed in my parents bedroom, . . . and why my
grandfather was so upset.
As I remember it,
I am lying upon the bare floor in the room directly below the bedroom where the praying part
later took place. The memory image of my body is not very clear, but I have the impression
of myself dressed in a diaper. This is probably true, for not many children are fully pottytrained by 18 months of age. However clothed, my body is positioned near the footboard
legs of my grandparents' parlor room double bed.
Daddy is standing close to the left side of me. Grandpa is standing at a near equal
distance from the right side of me. Daddys back is toward the front of the farmhouse.
Grandpa's back is to the rear of the dwelling. Neither of these men was of a tall physical
statute. But from my position on the floor below, they tower above me like two skinny
skyscrapers. Grandpa is speaking to Daddy. In an unwavering and near emotionless tone
of voice, he says to my father: You are my son and I love you, but if you ever . . . that
child like that again, I shall kill you. Although ever-inclined toward having the last word,
Daddy says nothing. Like a quivering blade of steel, the eerie resonance of Grandpa Dicks
words hangs suspended in the otherwise silent room.
______________
Epilogue
ne of the most surprising consequences of allowing this memory event to surface was to
simultaneously recognize that I had glimpsed both parts several times before. Up until allowing
this memory to surface, I had never been able to relate to the expressions: suppressed / repressed
memories. As I now perceive it, the act of repressing a memory is
likened to cracking a door to a room, and immediately slamming the
door shut because you fear or do not wish to deal with what you saw a
little of through the slightly ajar door.
The involuntary subconscious part of our mental selves does not
force us to deal with traumatic, bothersome memories. However, I
continue to find that it is always beneficial to do so. Of course, each of
us has to do the confronting on our own time schedule. If you are not
Fig. 115. crop of a photo courtesy
of MediaFACE4.
ready to face things as they really are, you will not try to do so. As for
getting ready, I refer you to an excerpt from Franklin Roosevelts first
(1933) inaugural speech:
"The only thing you have to fear is fear itself."
And it is true that none of the things I feared to allow the probable truth of turned out to be as
hard to live with as the fear of confronting them had been.
The realization that every past moment is a done event continues to help me confront my fears,
doubts, wonders. Indeed, there is no way for any of us to change the to-date history of either our
world, our species, or our individual self(s). Nothing we can say or do will alter the truth of what
has happened since the beginning of cosmic time. The truth of everyones past is likewise a
completed set of experiences. We cannot eradicate the parts of our life history(s) with which we are
not comfortable by repressing them; for as Aldous Huxley noted in Proper Studies, Facts do not
cease to exist because they are ignored.
Again, I find that repressed memory images are inhibitors that need to be allowed to surface and
be reviewed. [And that includes repressed doubts about the Existence and Character or Essence of

the presumed Omnipotent Creative Cause of our species and the other particulars of the primary
cosmic world.]
Compared to all the prayers I heard recited or read after that, Grandpa Dicks prayer of this night
was the oddballprayer, the prayer that did not fit the demeanor and tone of all the others I was
to hear or read during the years that followed up to January 13, 1969.
Suffice to say, not all that I am recounting of here about my father and paternal grandfather is
the kind of family anecdotes one delights in thinking about and recounting of, even to ones own
posterity. What Daddy did was wrong. Grandpa Dick thought he had committed a terrible sin by
even thinking about killing his son. But ifas I believehe only intended to frighten his son, then
I would say that his response to the immediate challenge was an appropriate one. I am especially
impressed with the fact that my grandfather not only turned to the Almighty Thou for forgiveness,
help, but would also propose an offer of restitution for his parental errors.
Had I not chanced to observe of my grandfather praying after the direct I-to-Thou manner, would
I ever have decided to do likewise? I cannot say for sure. Yet, I cannot discount Grandpa Dicks
prayer as having been at least one contributing event behind my choosing to pray after the same
direct candid manner which I did on the eve of January 14,1969. Be it affirmed, however, that
influence is not likened to predetermination (i.e., lack of free will power).
*
Another thing which I found to be highly intriguing was that a toddler could be a potential
witness to the conduct of others. Up until I let myself remember this event, I had not realized that
a person could be capable of remembering things he or she experienced at such a young age. But
it would appear that the old timers warning: little pitchers have big ears is not without merit. For
if the child is awake and not deaf, the little one cannot avoid intercepting
the sounds within the nearby vicinity. Likewise, if the eyesight is normal,
images of the scenes before the young child's eyes can become scenic
memories within the childs mind. Since I was awake and had my eyes
and ears focused upon him as he knelt near the foot of the bed I was lying
upon, my mental system automatically recorded the audio-visual images
Fig. 116. Crop of toddlers
face from a family photo.
of my grandfather and his actions. It also picked up the posture and size

of my small body232 pressed into the billowy feather mattress that was upon the bedstead. Now that
I am of adult level mind and body, I can review these previously automatically recorded audiovisual images and decipher their meanings. Traumatic events can include good as well as
comparatively bad happenings. Although the event that precipitated the prayer was not good, the
opportunity to witness an unedited
233
private prayer of the style and manner submitted by my
paternal grandfather was of immeasurably good luck.

Things which happen to us are not of random fate. In this case, it was the personal choices made
by certain members of the household where I resided that resulted in my being in position to chance
to witness my grandfather's chosen prayer style and content.
When I first recalled the pre-prayer part of the memory event after a frame by frame manner in the
spring of 1996, my attention was caught by the tone and quality of my grandfathers voice. It did
not fit him, was atypical. Grandpa Hugate was not an egotistical, domineering sort of personality.
All my other recollections of him are of a man much like my husband, a man of few words and
gentle ways. Differing from so many of his era, Grandpa Dick did not use the rod or whip on
either child or beast. In fact, I never saw him actually do any violent thing in my life. Thus, it was
hard at first glimpses of this memory event to bear the thought of my dear Grandpa threatening to
do the ultimate violence to his own son. Grandpa's threat is, I suspect, the main reason this memory
had been repeatedly suppressed.
It is frustrating to be able to remember every word in Grandpa Dicks threat except the one
definitive of the action that provoked him to react as he did. The forgotten word could have been
any one of the following: beat, hit, strike, slap, whip, thrash, switch, or touch; for each represents
things my father was inclined toward saying and doing to his children and/or the two farm work
horses when his commands were not obeyed. Touch, however, is the least likely. Both my parents
and my paternal grandparents used the word touch in imperatives like: Dont touch that. or I told
232
Seemingly, our inner sense perception powers include the ability to determine our size and shape? It must
be so; for in each of my early childhood memories, there is also a memory of my specific body size and position.
233
And thus not expected to be witnessed by any other human being.

you not to touch that . . . . With no memory of the specific deed Grandpa Dick was alluding to,
I can only guess that my father had beaten me.
Daddy was short on patience. He was prone to become very angry when he did not get immediate
compliance to his commands. There were later times when Grandpa Dick would protest Daddys
beating us children. On one occasion, this gentle man even sat down and cried along with us
grandchildren who had been given switchings. At times, he would also beg his son not to whip
and whip one or the other of the two farm horses, but this is the only memory I have of my paternal
grandfather exhibiting steely bridled rage before my fathers sometimes brutish behavior.
As for Grandpas threat, it was only a threat. When confronted with an adult who has gotten out
of control, an extra firm threat is sometimes sufficient to defuse the situation. Again, I think
Grandpa did the right thing. Daddy was not of the personality type inclined to heed gentle reason
or cool logical argument.
es, Grandpa Dicks prayer stands out as an oddity among all the other prayers I have overheard.
His prayer was as the vertical arrow at left which is directed straight up to the Absolute or
Almighty Thou, envisioned Maker of the human being mind/psyche. The adjacent
curved arrow represents the edited written or publicly uttered prayer slanted in the
gender of a finite male human being (e.g., Father", Lord), or a physically-
Fig. 117. My
drawing.
embodied deity of masculine kind (e.g., God). None of these sexist words are
suitable choices. The only things known to us to have gender--and thus require
sexist names--are ourselves and the various species of animal kind. Please note that the words Thou
and You are of neuter case, and therefore do not imply a physical gender-specific finite nature like
the words God, Goddess, Father, Mother, Lord, and Lady do. The value of unconditionally honest
I-to-Thou silent praying cannot be overestimated, for how we address the envisioned Infinite Cause
of our species a p p e a r s to affect the involuntary as feedback."
I would also like to interject the following pertinent comment regarding self-honesty given by

Peter Shepherd:
So there is no more need to lie or pretend. To do so is to support power struggle, tyranny, low
self-esteem and isolation. Truth conversely brings us closer, though it might take more risk,
openness, and vulnerability. As human beings we want to be welcomed, for our needs to be
honored, to be able to be strong and still be loved, to be recognized for who we really are. By being
honest with our fellow [each other] beings and our selves, we can often strike a chord that resonates
in every human heart.
While there are instances when straightforward candor is not always safe or appropriate in
human-to-human interactions, there are no exceptions when it comes to self-honesty in silent
praying. If, as I believe, the spiritual presence detects our true feelings, anything less than unabashed
candor would necessarily produce discordant signals.
*
Perhaps it was even harder to have to think about what my father might have done to me
to evoke such cold, compressed anger in his Papa. But once I began thinking about the
possibilities, I concluded that Daddy had probably given me a severe beating. In his prayer, Grandpa
made specific mention of how trying I was. [After I was all grown up with children of my own,
Daddy would laughingly recount to me of the time I stood there and urinated upon the farmhouse
floor, pointed to the puddle, and said: pee, pee. He indicated he was amused, but also noted he
had thrashed me for it.]
As I mentioned in one of my footnotes, I was not the only trying child in the house at the time
of this happening. My brother Milton would have been about five months old. Thus, there could
have been two of us little ones bawling and at the same time. Crying toddlers and infants can be
nerve-frazzling for the parents.
It was also the height of the Great Depression. As Daddy frequently noted: Times were hard.
And like the novelist John Steinbeck pointed out through certain of the characters in his awardwinning book: The Grapes of Wrath ,234 the global economic depression was also harder for some
individuals to handle than it was for some others.
234
1939; Pulitzer Prize, 1940

While there is no excuse for my father's resorting to brutish treatment of his children, his wife,
and the horses on the farm, there is the fact of inherent natural temperament to consider. Not all
people as boil at the same temperature. Just as pain tolerance thresholds vary from individual to
individual, so do impatience thresholds. Grandpa Dick was not as easily irritated by uncooperative
people and animals as Daddy was. Some have to be pushed and pushed before they become wroth.
Grandpa was of the slow to anger temperament, Daddy was of the quick to anger type. Try as we
mortals might, none of us can completely totally change our basic inborn temperament. All we can
do is strive to learn how to control, subdue, develop and/or discipline ourselves. And what a
challenge it is for both--the slow to anger and the quick to anger.
My father was not a sadist; that is, he did not beat us because he got some sick pleasure out of
inflicting pain upon others. Daddy was a poor illiterate farmer who was reared in a community
where most treated the King James Bible as t h e guidebook to righteous living, and that to spare
the rod was to be a negligent parent. More than once, I heard him and other similarly indoctrinated
guiding elders cite certain biblical verses as their personal justification for beating unruly young
children and animals. Two of the especially pertinent biblical verses about disciplining children and
animals were the following ones from the book of Proverbs:
a) Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beat him [him or her] with a rod, he [he or
she] shall not die. Thou shalt beat him [him or her] with the rod, and shalt deliver his [the childs
] soul from hell. 235 Proverbs 23:13-14.
b) A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverb 26:3
I do not support the biblical authors instruction about the use of the rod as a tool of correction.
More than one defenseless child i s k i l l e d each year from beatings given by one or both of his or
her parents, some other adult person, or teenager caretaker. No human beings mind or soul is
nurtured by having the body beaten. I know that Daddys lickings did not encourage or inspire
me to try to please him. All his beatings did was cause me physical pain, and leave me with a lot
235
noted,
I.e., an imagined place associated to the Hebrew word
kuta is from the verb root kta / ask or inquire, and
kuta /Shol ( underworld).
But as previously
means place of inquiry. That's all it means.

of anger inside at both him and all others who have perpetuated the idea that to spare the rod is to
spoil the child. As it happened, I was physically strong enough by age thirteen to stop my father
from whipping me. He never tried to beat me again. Yet, what a sad anecdote for both father and
daughter.
As for Proverb 26:3, Grandpa Dick did not have to whip Pete. It took a lot of patience and time,
but he raised that spunky stallion to respond to his voice
commands. It was beautiful to behold. Not so with Daddy,
not so with Daddy. Pete would not obey my father by voice
commands alone. After some years, I think Daddy just stopped
trying to pair up Pete and Bessie (Petes dam) to pull a piece of
farm equipment. It took too much time and personal physical
energy to whip Pete into the traces (harness).
Fool? While not all children are quick learners, slowness
does not make them dullards or fools. All of us make foolish
or unwise decisions some of the time. Beat the back of the
person who is slacking or not tending the assigned chores or
Fig. 118. Pete with Grandpa Dick in
background.
studies as he or she needs to be doing? No, no. You cannot

beat either good work habits, good thinking habits, or good
attitudes into a childs mind. Beatings produce pain, and humiliation. Violence begets violence.
As for why Grandpa Dick was not a user of the "rod" for disciplining children, I do not know.
Maybe he had come to realize--as had I by the time I became a grandparent--that hitting a child or
other smaller person was not a fair fight. The naturally wild young ones need firm and consistent
discipline, but not through beatings with belts, switches, paddles, razor straps, etc. rods or
whips.
*
Children are not born respecting their parents. I loved my father, but I never could enjoy his
company. Our personal views about what is and what is not fair or just conduct were too far apart.
For a major difference, Daddy would not allow that Mama or any other a female human being was
of the same natural worth as a male human being. What egotism! I could not endorse such a self-

centered, self-worshiping illogical position. Female gender bias and feminine self-exaltation would
of course be equally unfair, equally illogical, and therefore equally repulsive. Grandpa Dick was
not perfect. No human being is. Like Grandpa said, he should have been more firm, stepped in
more often in the rearing of his son. Instead, he left that part up to his wife, my Grandma Annie.
[ It is also a sad fact that Daddys parents did not make him go to school. Considering all that I
know about my father, lack of a formal education was a big psychological obstacle for him.]
Keeping his word was important to Grandpa Dick. He kept his prayerful pledge. More than
once he interceded in my behalf. Yes, my in-house grandfather did, in fact, try to make some
amends for his parenting errors. Of all the adults I encountered during my formative years, Silas
Rodney Hugate appears to have been the most spiritually sound one of them. Frankly, I cannot recall
meeting any other man quite like him during my growing up years. I met men who were basically
decent human beings, but they did not treat women with the same degree of respect as they did
persons of their own gender.
Differing, Grandpa Dick was not inclined toward making fun of or discriminating against
persons of the opposite gender. Yes, I respect and would praise him for his kindness toward his
wife, domestically unskilled daughter-in-law (my mother), and us in-house female grandchildren.
Thus, it happened that my earliest recollection of an adult human being was of my paternal
grandfather, . . . immediately followed by a remembrance of my father.
Grandpa Dick died at home in late summer of 1950. He would have been eighty-nine years old
on October 7 of that year. Daddy died in a Gloucester County hospital on April 25, 1994. He was
ninety-one years old.
ENDNOTES
I.
ONE out of 10 babies is born difficult. The difficult babies are the red-faced infants whose howling
wakes the other newborns in the hospital nursery. Theyre the babies who twist and scream when
their faces are washed. Who spit out new foods. Whod rather cry than sleepor so it seems to their
harassed parents, who are often not only bewildered by these cantankerous infants but deeply anxious,
even guilty. What are they doing wrong? Could there be something wrong with the child?
The answer is nothing is wrong with them or with the baby. But if they dont come to understand
their babys t e m p e r a m e n t , they will almost inevitably start handling him [the child] wrong, and
their difficult baby will grow up to be a difficult adult who may bully his wife [his/her spouse] and
children or be angrily dismayed that the world does not revolve around him [him/or her], or simply
be an irritable, uncooperative person.
Fortunately, researchers have discovered how to bring up these rambunctious babies happily and
healthily. . . .
The authoritarian versus permissive argument has gone on for generations now, but in the case
the difficult baby, there can be no argument. The findings of the New York Longitudinal Study
indicate that he [the child] will thrive and become easier under a kindly consistent and firm regime
( and turn into a holy terror if parents try to use the permissive methods that work so well with some
children). . . .
The baby will eventually adapt if the parents are consistent, firm, and loving. 236
236
Barbara W . W yden, "The difficult baby is born that way," In Readings in Psychology 76/77 (Guilford, CT:
Dushkin Publishing Group, Inc., 1976) 194-195. RIP
A Conversion
____________
Fig. 119. 1972 photo of Methodist tabernacle about two miles east of the county town seat on route 611.
Date in Re: Summer of 1947

Place:
Tabernacle Meeting
evival meetings were held at the Mathews Methodist Tabernacle two weeks in August of each
year. In the center back part of the shelter was a pulpit for the visiting preacher(s). At each far side
of the pulpit is bleacher-styled seating for the large choirs made up of members from the various
Methodist churches in the county. The wooden benches which run from a few feet in front of the
pulpit to the rear of the tabernacle provided ample seating for the people who came to these annual
revival services. The floor of the tabernacle was the ground covered with sawdust.

As I recall, there was a stock Jesus portrait237 likened to the one at
right positioned directly behind the speaker podium.
To combat the swarms of pesky mosquitoes, persons provided with
large tin sprayers of mosquito repellent would go around spraying the area.
Hand fans (with included advertising) donated by a local funeral parlor
were available to all who wanted one. I must say they were a welcomed
sight, for it could get hot on those August evenings.
Fig. 120. Photo courtesy of

westmorelandhfh.org.
We had no television and radio stations in the area. Thus, these revival
meetings provided a form of entertainment, . . . and community comradery. At the close of the
revival period, there would be a big picnic on the tabernacle grounds.
It follows that the preachers had to be compensated for their services. Thus, at some point
preceding the sermon part, the ushers would pass around collection plates for monetary donations.
It was the task of the preachers and the choir to (1) sway uninitiated's youth and adults to convert
to Christianity and/or (2) motivate previously confirmed Christians to revive or reaffirm their
commitment to a deceased man called Jesus.
*
When I first started going to these meetings with Ms. Mary, I was not affiliated with any religion.
And as an affirmed Protestant Christian, that bothered her. More than once she expressed the hope
that I would someday get the call", "get saved.
Night after night I resisted the preachers appeals for personal conversion. Squirm I did, for
the sermons were replete with threats about hellfire and everlasting damnation if you refused to
accept Jesus238 as your . . . and savior. Some would attempt to further strengthen their personal
appeal by quoting the verse from John 3:3 about needing to be born-again in Christ [the man
Jesus] in order to be accepted by the envisioned Maker of the origin generation of us mortal creative
237
Such portraits are of course not actually of the historical Jesus any more than Michelangelo's sculpture
of Moses is of the historical Moses. Neither is there any detailed description of the face of either of these men in the
biblical stories about them.
238
I.e., a man of the Middle East who people of this era may have read about, but never seen the face of or
heard the voice of. None of the Jesus portraits are actually portraits of Jesus. Neither are any of the Christian
testaments written by him.

beings of the humsn kind:
Jesus answered and said unto him [a rabbi] Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man [person] be
born again, he [he or she] cannot see the kingdom of God [The Almighty /Infinite Creative Power].
Born again? Rare indeed would be the youth of fifteen years who is mature enough of mind to
be able to reason logically about such figurative propositions or concepts. I surely wasn't. Still,
these preachers were proposing that I accept a dead man whom I had never seen or heard speak as
my spiritual master and redeemer. To my recollection, not once did any of the visiting preachers
describe what a born-again experience was like.
To quicken your spiritual emotions toward making a commitment to Jesus Christ,239 the altar call
following the evangelical sermon was attended by such mournful lyrics as almost persuaded, Christ
to receive. And the argument about obtaining forgiveness for ones wrongful doings was an
appealing thought. Who among us does not want to be forgiven of his or her wrongdoings (sins),
start again with an as clean slate? And what person does not want to be accepted by the community
as a respectable human being?
Well, all the coercive sermons and emotive music finally got through to me during one of the
1947 revival meetings. With the choir grinding out the near hypnotic strains of the call-tosubmission hymn, "Almost persuaded . . . ," I was moved to respond to the altar call. Taking the
sawdust path down to the altar rail, I joined the church.[Christian movement]. And to my foster
mothers delight, I later underwent the symbolic baptismal sprinkling at St. Matthews, the Peary
neighborhood Methodist church of which she was an active member in good standing.
__________
Epilogue
his was not my proudest hour. My shame is because I implied something to have changed
within me when nothing had. I do not know what the others who responded to the altar call that
evening were feeling, but I did not undergo any transcendent spiritual experience. At this point in
239
I .e.,
jhan (ma-shei-ach)/messiah , but
literally means: an anointed one.

my youthful life, I neither believed nor disbelieved the stories I had heard about Jesus conception,
death, and reputed resurrection. For one thing, I myself had never read the Christian testaments.
And except for my illiterate father's standing test question about who did the children of the first
human couple (the prototype Adam and Eve pair) marry, I had never heard anyone question or
debate the biblical word. Whenever some doubt was raised about the literal accuracy of the KJV
of the Jewish and Christian Scriptures, the stock answer of the avowed Christians was always of
the order: You have to accept on faith."240
Faith in what? Each other's interpretations about natural phenomena? No, we do not have to stifle
our doubts about the literacy accuracy of the biblical authors narratives. To the contrary.
My joining the church resulted in my foster mother and certain other close adult acquaintances
thinking more highly of me. As for me, I was glad that I no longer had to deal with the sad eyes
of those who considered me doomed to suffer everlasting hellfire because I was not a Christian.
Perhaps it is of human nature to try to avoid acknowledging ones true ignorance in regard to the
existence, character, and preferences of the unknown Creative Cause of our species. But of what
benefit is it to pretend otherwise?
It is possible that I was more inclined to think about spiritual things after joining the church, but
the conversion ritual did not set me free from fear-of-The Almighty Creative Power portrayed in
both the Jewish biblical testaments and the Christian) biblical testaments. Neither did joining the
church make me any wiser or more enlightened.
But as noted in Part II, things began to change when I took on the task in September 1965 of
guiding a group of Christian-reared youth through the building of a model of the city of Jerusalem
as it may have been around 70. As it turned out, that Journey Into Time (the project title in the
240
I.e., 1. Confidence in or dependence on a person, statement, or thing as trustworthy; trust. 2. Belief without
need of certain proof. SCD

students textbook) brought about several unexpected discoveries:
1st.
Reproducing a period in human history can significantly loosen the mystique from the
various biblical accounts or narrations about events from that period.
2nd.
Jesus was a man. However inspired he may have been, he was not any demi-deity (son
of God [ohvkt / The Almighty] and a young espoused to-be-married reproductively adult
female human being). Demi-deities are the stuff of ancient Greek and Roman mythology.
There are no such life forms as half Supernal-half human creative beings.241
More than thirty-six years have passed since I underwent the clarifying transcendent spiritual
experience on the morning of January 29, 1969, that as opened my minds I to perceive that my
blind faith in the word of other persons had been of a childish sort. The way to the Almighty
(Absolute) Creative Mental Power is not through the Jewish testaments, Christian testaments, or
Muslim ones; it is through explicitly honest praying after an I- to-Thou manner. At least, that is
what worked for me. Even if your chosen words might not be exactly congruent to what you are
thinking of, your real thoughts and feelings would get through to the as answering machine (i.e.,
holy spirit, divine presence, conscience, vuvh ) within. As I stated in the entry From Fear to Faith
on page 61 in Part II, it is my firm belief that all prayers are automatically intercepted and processed
by the self-revealing spiritual presence within.
Conscience is another name associated to the seemingly holy inner spiritual presence. But again,
I am inclined to think that conscience refers to the consequence, and that the cause of it is the divine
spiritual presence (or holy spirit)/ vuvh. Whatever this source of inspiration might be named, there
is something within mental me that causes me to feel a little ashamed or dissatisfied with myself
when I am not trying to do my best.
Reasoned faith vs. blind faith is the issue. In whom or what are we to trust, believe, or have
confidence? Well, what are the options? No human being is immune to error. Hence, it cannot be
one of us. We are all in the same predicament when it comes to knowledge of the Infinite Cause of
241
For a helpful illustration on human reproductive genetics, see Endnote I .

our species and the kind of choices The Almighty or Absolute Creative Mental Power might deem
to be righteous living.
Take away the Jewish Tanach, the Christian testaments, and the Islamic Quran. Momentarily
pretend that neither of these testaments exists. What clues might there be within involuntary nature
in regard to what is possibly due our reverence or humble submission? As I see it, there is one and
only one possible choice: The unknown Creative Cause of the primary cosmic world.
Evidence of the as manifested thoughts of The Absolute or Almighty Creative Mental Power is
all around us. Just look at the stars, the planets, the birds, etc. amazing primary creations. The
natural world phenomenon is the evidence--the factual artwork--upon which the concept of an
Almighty or Infinite Creative Mental Power is based. The Genesis authors conclusion that earth and
the surrounding heavenly entities were originated by an Almighty Creative Mental Power (ohvkt)
would also have been based on the surrounding involuntary natural evidence.
My belief in the existence of an Absolute Creative Mental Power is independent of any thoughts
I might have concerning the essence or character of that envisioned Infinite Cause of the primary
cosmic world. Whereas the spiritual presence (
vuvh /conscience) within appears to be of a holy
quality, that does not prove that the Creator Cause of it and all the other parts of the human psyche
is of divine character, holy. But good or bad, fair or unfair, of better or worse quality, the Creative
Cause of the primary creations is the only Creative Power to possibly be due worship or reverence.
It takes courage--and probably more for those who have not undergone the transcendent
experience I did--to acknowledge their ignorance concerning the Cause of the primary natural world
and the ultimate destiny of us mental beings. Yet, we really do not have any direct knowledge of
either (1) the Cause of our species, or (2) what happens to us mental beings when our body part dies.
So why, why pretend otherwise?
I also contend that a true advocate of the Almighty would not ask that you take his or her word
for either (a) What the Almighty Thou is like, (b) what happens to mental you upon your physical
demise, or ( c ) what constitutes Absolute or Divine ethics. Neither would a true friend ask you to
as bypass the divine/holy spirit within and take his or her views as error-free like Jesus is recounted

of as having done in St. John 14:3:
Jesus saith unto him [Simon Peter], I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man [person] cometh
onto the Father [the Infinite Source Cause of human life], but by me. --St. John 14:3.
Something is amiss when a person thinks he or she is an intermediary between other human
beings and the Almighty Thou. Considering all that was written about his birth, I have to allow
that Jesus may have been told and retold that he was not fathered like his siblings were. While
Joseph may not have begotten Jesus, some reproductively adult male human being did.
Because his position on faith and the differing religions which people have established closely
matches my own position, I am closing this entry with a portion of a letter from Mr. Theodore R.
Wolfe of Virginia Beach, Virginia, that appeared in Betsy Wrights column of the Virginian-Pilot
one Saturday in 1998 illustrating aspects (he said) of his religious beliefs:
Faith
. . . The most logical conclusion we can draw:
Believe nothing that*s contrary to natural law.
This would simplify religion to the Nth degree.
(It would for you as it has for me.)
Such thinking would introduce some sanity
Among the hundreds of sects of Christianity,
Plus other religions that flourish worldwide,
Vehement convictions that don*t unite, but divide.
Until man [we human beings] can agree
on faith more precisely
The Golden Rule will do very nicely.
ENDNOTES
Fig. 121. Copied f rom a folder in the reference section of a branch of Virginia Beach Library.
From Pain to Compassion

It takes a village to raise a child.
242
____________
Date in Re: Summer 1936

Place:
In house
Events:
FIRST remembrance of pain, darkness, fear, and
Grandma Annie
oth pain and darkness and fear would have been experienced many
times before. So would there have been moments with my paternal

grandmother, but my first recollection of experiencing either of these
things begins with:
1)
Fig. 122. Crop of LetheAnn (Annie)

German Hugate from a 1940 family
photo.
Myself dashing across the kitchen from a position near the window at the front side of the room
toward the window at the back side of it. As I reach about midway (or in front of the woodburning kitchen stove), Grandma Annie is turning from the stove with a pot of boiling hot
homemade clam chowder in her hands. We collide, and the hot stuff comes spilling over the
side of the pot onto the right side of my face, arm, and body.
Next, I am aware of Daddy ripping off the polka-dotted sunsuit from my body. As I recall
the scene, the sunsuit dots are pink.
242
Anonymous

All of this happened around midday. It was the custom to have the main meal or dinner at
noontime. I did not hear the word lunch used until after I started public school. Our evening meal
was called supper", and often consisted of leftovers from the noonday meal. The next thing I recall
is:
2)
Myself lying upon a pallet (folded quilt) upon the floor beside the bed in the bedroom where
Grandpa Dicks prayer was overheard. A portion of my right arm between the elbow and wrist
is wrapped with a swath of white cloth. Reflecting upon the scene, I now recall Grandma
Annie having put some homemade butter upon the burns on my arm. I do not, however, have
any clear remembrance of her applying the cloth wrap like I do of Daddys hands quickly tearing
off the chowder-soaked sun suit from my body.
Some yellow stuff has run out of my right ear onto the pillow upon which my head is
resting. I am screaming and screaming, but no sounds are coming out of my mouth. There are
only the dry sobs , . . . a n d the feel of Grandpa Dicks hand ever-so gently stroking my head
while he is shushing me with soothing distractions like: There, there, Lizbeth.
As I become aware of his hands upon my head, I also notice the surrounding darkness. It
was abominable to me, soooh scary. With no lights inside or outside the farmhouse, it does get
literally pitch black in a county room like the one in which I lay struggling against horrible
pain. But with Grandpa Dicks tender stroking and soothing words, I eventually fall asleep.
3)
The rooster is crowing. From my position on the floor, I can see the early morning sunlight
shining in through the window (facing the backyard) in front of me. Grandpa is pulling up his
overall bib straps that he had lowered when he lay down beside me to watch over me through
the night. I recall him rising and going over to the window and looking out.
That is all I remember of this days events.
______________
Epilogue
ictured below is a grayscale copy of a restored antique cook stove shown on page 32 of the
February 2003 issue of Country Living 243 magazine. The caption above the picture reads: This
1918 Quick Meal wood and coal stove featured two overhead
warming ovens, a nickel-plated toweland a striking blue finish.
The wood-burning stove in my paternal grandparents kitchen
was not of this brand. Nor was it painted a pretty blue. And as far
as I can recall, there was no fancy chrome anywhere on it.
Although very similar in general appearance to the one shown here,
our country kitchen cook stove was plain black cast iron.
Fancy or not, it was the featured object in the room where our
meals were prepared and eaten. And it was a wood-burning stove
of this range type that Grandma Annie and I collided in front of that
Fig. 123. Scanned copy of photo of
antique stove in magazine.
painfulfor both of usday in the summer of 1936.

Albeit my grandmother did not feel the pain of my burns, she
grieved over me hurting.

*
Following this accident, my grandmother sometimes tied me to one of the footboard legs of the
bed in the settin room (parlor ) directly across the hall from the kitchen. The leash was a strip of
cloth long enough to give me some mobility, yet keep me away from the stove in both that room
and the stove in the kitchen.244
243
Nancy Mernit Soriano, Editor-in-Chief ( Red Oak, IA: Hearst Communications, Inc., a Unit of the Hearst
Corporation). CLM.
244
W hen Uncle Julius and Aunt M ary came up to visit one weekend and found me tethered to the bed, Aunt
Mary was greatly disturbed. After reflecting upon the scalding incident, and the number of young children in the house
at the time between six months of age and four years of age, I can understand why my grandmother could have needed
to go to such extremes. To keep us young ones upstairs was not feasible. For in addition to the risk of falling, or getting
pushed down the stairs, there were also the nap times of the baby and an eighteen-month-old toddler to consider.

Yes, if I had spilled a pot of boiling chowder upon one of my
grandchildren, and was living under the domestic limitations Grandma
Annie was, I may have resorted to applying a soft leash restraint upon a
four-year-old grandchild when neither the childs mother nor father was
able to keep close watch on the dashing-about youngster.
During one of those times, I began studying the clock on the dresser
across from the foot of the bed to which I was tied. It had a pendulum
and Roman numerals like the clock in the photo at right. I think I had
memorized the twelve Roman numerals on Grandma Annies clock by the
time I entered first grade in September 1938.
Fig. 124. Photo courtesy of

Hemera Technologies, Inc.
Differing from my first remembrance of Grandpa Dick , this memory of him was never repressed
by me. More than once, I recalled this event and commented about my
grandfathers night-nurse care of me to one or more
other persons.
In this second remembrance of Daddy,
there
are no associated bad feelings. None at all. There

is nothing embarrassing or hard to think about in
this memory. Physical pain is not re-felt when
Fig. 124.1. Crop of 1940
photo of Grandpa Dick.
remembered.
Daddy and Grandma Annie gave me immediate first aid, and I am

thankful for it. But it was Grandpa Dick who spent a night of broken sleep
Fig. 124.2. Pennsylvania

Railroad photo of daddy.
upon the pallet dealing with a crying and restless young child.
The only negative thing associated to this event is that I did not recognize or appreciate
Grandpas closeup gifts of time and tender loving care while he was living. It took a transcendence
experience to as awaken me to how very good my paternal grandfather was to me during the seven
years I resided under his roof.

I have no remembrance of Mama during this event. Other than a few
closeup memory images of her seated at the kitchen table feeding a
young child seated upon her lap, my recollections of my mothers
presence in my paternal grandparents house and yard were as an
inexplicit background figure.
My mother was not an assertive person.
Plus, we children came so close together she never had much free
time to give extra special attention to any of us. Five children in a little
more than six years is a heavy burden for any woman to bear, especially
when you have no modern conveniences and only one bedroom for
yourself, your husband, and the children.
Fig. 124.3. Crop of abt 1924 photo

of Mama.
A Postscript
____________
ife is good. In addition to our wonderful children: two sons, two daughters, and one foster
daughter, we now have nine amazing grandchildren, and six adorable great grandchildren.
The group photo below was taken during the annual family picnic in June 2008. Persons shown
in the photo include Mac and me, our four children, five of our nine grandchildren, all six great
grandchildren, two in-laws, and a significant friend. Two more grandchildren were present, but not
available at the time of the photo shoot.
Fig. 125. This photo was taken with my camera by Patty Meyers.
Part IV-The Appendix
Credits
____________
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The Big Box of Art. CD-ROM. Hull, Quebec, Canada: Hemera Technologies, Inc.,
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Shakespeare, William. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. Roslyn, NY:

Walter J. Black, 1937.
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Kantrowitz , David. DavkaWriter 6. CD-ROM. Davka Corporation and Judaica

Press, 1996-2002.
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IL: Encyclopedia Britannica, Inc. and its licensors, 1994-2004.

EP1650
Epson Perfection 1650 Photo color image scanner. Long Beach, CA: Epson
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Monroe C. Beardsle, ed. The European Philosophers from Descartes to Nietzsche.

New York: Random House, Inc., 1960.
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Encarta 2004 Reference Library. CD-ROM. Redmond, WA: Microsoft Corp.,

1993-2003.
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Smith, William F., & Liedlich, Raymond D. From Thought to Theme: A Rhetoric
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Brown, Francis, & Driver, S .R., & Briggs, Charles A. A Hebrew and English
Lexicon of the Old Testament. Oxford: Clarendon Press.
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Greenberg, Moshe. Introduction to Hebrew. New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, Inc.,

1965.
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Bach, Richard D. Jonathan Livingston Seagull. New York: Avon Books, a

division of The Hearst Corporation, 1970.
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JPS1917.zip, the Jewish Publication Society of Americas 1917 English version

of the Tanach downloaded from: http://www.shamash.org /tanach/text.shtml.
KJV
The Holy [Sacred (set apart)] Bible: Authorized King James Version. London and
New York: Collins Clear-Type Press. Printed in Great Britain, 1941.
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Library of the Future - The Complete Text of over 5000 Historical, Classical &
Cultural Titles. CD-ROM. Lancaster, PA: World Library, 1990-1996.

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Feyerabend, Dr. Karl. Langenscheidtss Pocket Hebrew Dictionary : HebrewEnglish. Maspeth, NY: Langenscheidt Publishers, Inc.
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MediaFACE 4.0. CD-ROM. Itasca, Il: Fellowes Inc., 2003.
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Blumberg, Harry, & Lewittes, Mordecai H. Modern Hebrew. 3rd ed. New York:
Hebrew Publishing Company, 1982.
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Magil, Joseph. Magils Linear School Bible . Hebrew test and English translation.
The Five Books of Moses. Delancey Street, NY: Hebrew Publishing Company,
1905.
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Micrografx Picture Publisher 10. CD-ROM. Dallas, TX: Micrografx, Inc., 2001.
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Capen, Louise I. & Melchior, D. Montefort. My Worth to the World: Studies in

Citizenship. New York: American Book Company, 1937.
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The New Book of Knowledge. Danbury, CT: Grolier Incorporated, 1980.
NDE
Landau, Elaine. Near-Death Experiences. Brookfield, CT: The Millbrook Press,

Mysteries of Science, 1996.
OEPD
Pocket Oxford Dictionary. CD-ROM. Oxford University Press.
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Howard, Pierce J. (1994). The Owner's Manual For the Brain : Everyday
Applications from Mind-brain Research. Austin, TX: Leornian Press, A Bard press
book. Third printing, November 1996.
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Aristotle. On Man in the Universe. Edited with introduction by Louise Ropes

Loomis. Roslyn, NY: Walter J. Black, Inc., 1943.
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The Pentateuch and Haftorahs. Edited by Dr. J. H. Hertz, C.H., Late chief rabbi of the
British Empire. London: Soncino Press, 1967.
PCSB
Gilbertson, Jim. PC Study Bible. CD-ROM. Seattle, WA: Biblesoft, 1988-2003.
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Liebman, Joshua Loth. Peace of .Mind. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1946.
RIP
Wyden, Barbara W. "The difficult baby is born that way." In Readings in

Psychology 76/77. Guilford, CT: Dushkin Publishing Group, Inc., 1976.
SCD
Standard College Dictionary. Funk & Wagnalls, a division of Reader's Digest

Books, Inc. New York, NY: Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc., 1966.
SDBW
Strong, James. The New Strongs Complete Dictionary of Bible Words. Nashville,
TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1996.
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Setford, Steve. Science Facts. London: Dorling Kindersley, Ltd., 1996.
TIB
Green, Jay P., Sr. The Interlinear Bible: Hebrew-Greek-English. Grand Rapids,
MI: Baker Book House, 1985.
TOS
Darwin, Charles. The Origin of the Species by Means of Natural Selection or the
Preservation of Favoured Races [Species] in the Struggle for Life. London: John
Murry, Albermarle Street, 1859.
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The Virginian-Pilot. Norfolk, VA: Landmark Communications, Inc.
VGT
White, Ellen Emerson Voyage on the Great Titanic: The Diary of Margaret Ann
Brady. New York: Scholastic Inc., 1998.
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The World Book Encyclopedia. 50th Anniversary Edition. Chicago, IL: Field
Enterprises Educational Corporation, 1965.
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Science Annual. Chicago, Il: Field Enterprises Educational Corporation, 1966.
WBSA67 Schucking, E. L. and Biram, Brenda. "From Genesis to Doomsday." In Science
Year: The World Book Science Annual. Chicago, Il: Field Enterprises Educational
Corporation, 1967.
WBSA68 Thorne, Kip S. Death of a Star. In Science Year: 1968. Chicago, Il: Field
Enterprises Educational Corporation, 1968.
WNWCD Websters New World College Dictionary, 3rd. ed. New York: Macmillan General
Reference, A Simon & Schuster Macmillan Company, 1988.
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Gittlesohn, Roland B., Wings of the Morning. New York: Union of American
Hebrew Congregations, 1969.

Ref. #011469 - 1961 to 1980 Floor Plan of Family Residence.
Fig. 126. Floor plan drawing by me.

Ref. #021569 - OCR Excerpts from, Near-Death Experiences, by Elaine Landau
(Brookfield, CT: the M illbrook Press. M ysteries of Science, 1996). 245 NDE
______________________________________________________________________
Note: The included excerpts represent some of the most commonly reported aspects of near-death
experiences. Statements preceded by an asterisk (added by me) are the ones that describe feelings
or conditions similar to those which I experienced during and/or following the transcendent spiritual
happening I underwent between January 14, 1969 and mid-July 1970.
But please keep in mind that I had never read this or any other book about NDE experiences
until after February 1999. /ehh
* Finding it difficult to describe what they have been through. Many people who have had
NDEs claim that there just arent words to convey the intensity or brilliant splendor of what
they saw or felt.
Hearing a doctor or other medical team member announce he or she (the person having
the NDE) has died. One woman scheduled for surgery went into cardiac arrest just before
the operation. The physicians tried unsuccessfully to revive her. One of her doctors had said,
Let*s try one more and then we*ll give up. When the woman eventually regained
consciousness, the only thing she recalled was hearing the doctor say that sentence.
Being outside their bodies. Large numbers of NDEers say they left their physical bodies and
watched what was happening to them from a distance. Eight-year-old Michelle had an NDE
after slipping into a diabetic coma. She spoke about leaving her body this way: All of a
sudden, I was floating above my body, looking down at myself. There were two doctors
pushing me on one of those stretchers towards a room. Both were women doctors. . . .
Interestingly, blind people who have NDEs say they can see during these episodes. In
such cases they have often been able to describe even small objects in various corners of the
operating room.
Even though people having a near-death experience claim to have seen and heard what*s
going on, they are unable to interact with those around them. A patient viewed by Dr.
Moody recalled what it was like: I saw them resuscitating me. It was really strange. I
wasn*t very high. . . I tried talking to them but nobody could hear me, nobody would listen
to me.
Calm, peaceful feelings. Many people who have had NDE s report having feelings of love,
well-being, and warmth at the time. Those in a great deal of physical discomfort prior to
dying claim that all the pain and distress immediately vanished.
245
The bold font and ellipsis are by me.

*The life review. During an NDE some people see their lives pass before them. This stream
of flashbacks begins with childhood, offering the person a chance to access how he or she
spent the time on Earth. The NDEer is not condemned for any wrongdoingsthe life review
is solely for the person*s benefit. *There was no one judging me one woman said of her
NDE life review. I was judging myself.. . . .
*Transformed lives. The majority of NDEers feel their experience dramatically changed
them. Author and NDE re-searcher Dr. Melvin Morse believes that following death
experience, many individuals attach a greater purpose to their existence. He believes they
have *more zest for living than ever before. Carol Zaleski, Ph.D., a Harvard University
lecturer on religion, agrees, adding that people who have near-death experiences appear to
gain wisdom.
Such individuals also seem to become more adventurous. One research study on NDEs
involved three separate groups: those who had NDEs, people who almost but did not have
NDEs, and others who had never come near to dying. Of the three categories, the
individuals who had near-death experiences were more willing to take risks than both other
groups. The researchers accounted for the results as follows: The near-deathers were ready
to go anytime. They tend not to be afraid of death.
Kenneth Ring, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Connecticut,
researched the long-range of NDEs. In surveying more than a hundred of these individuals,
Ring identified measurable differences in their life-styles following near-death experiences.
*For the most part, NDEers tended to appreciate life more. They developed greater concern
and compassion for others and became less interested in material wealth and outward signs
of status.
In summing up his conclusions, Ring wrote: After [an NDE] the person *can never
again return to the former way of being. [The NDE] comes to take precedence over whatever
he has been taught or previously believed. . . . It is not even just an experience that changes
one*s life. It is one*s life. And it becomes the source of one*s true being in the world.
__________

Ref. #022469 - About Contrails
1. Behind the Contrail Curtain - by Jim Scanlon
Exhaust gases from subsonic jet aircraft are affecting the ozone layer, the troposphere and cloud cover over
the Northern Hemisphere every minute of every day as hundreds of heavy jets fly back and forth through the
North Atlantic Flight Corridor and over the continental US. With commercial air travel expected to increase
by 200 percent over the next 15-20 years, there should be growing concern about the effect of jet engines
on the Earth's climate and its relation to increasing amounts of ultraviolet radiation reaching the planet's
surface but there isn't.
When aircraft burn fuel, they expel exhausts containing soot, carbon monoxide, water, three kinds of nitric
acid and sulfuric acid directly into the plane's turbulent wake. British Airways estimates that the air travel
industry burns 170 million metric tons of fuel each year.
For every kilogram (2.2 pounds) of fuel burned, 1.5 kilos (3.3 pounds) of water vapor are produced. Every
year, therefore, aircraft produce 255 million metric tons of vapor, much of it injected into the dry upper
troposphere and the even drier stratosphere. If the air is cold enough and there is enough background water
vapor, jets will produce a long, distinctly visible, white contrail (short for "condensation trail") across the
sky.
Some contrails may spread out and produce high altitude cirrus clouds, indistinguishable from natural cirrus.
All clouds act like a simultaneous warming blanket and cooling reflector, depending on their thickness. Thin
high altitude clouds warm more than they cool.
Aircraft emissions in the stratosphere 7-31 miles (11-50 kilometers) above Earth destroy ozone
when nitrogen oxides are exposed to ultraviolet radiation from the sun. In the troposphere 5.6-8 miles
(9-13 km) high these same oxides produce ozone, warming cold air and changing Earth's temperature
structure.
Is This a Secret?
For one week in March, I attended the eighth annual NASA conference on the atmospheric effects of
aviation held in Virginia Beach. There were 278 official attendees, almost all working scientists. I believe
I was the only journalist or writer present. I know of no mention in the print media of this, or any of the
previous seven conferences. The New York Times didn't mention it, and neither did Time, Newsweek,
Science or Nature. While New Scientist has published articles on aircraft contrails, it was unaware of these
NASA meetings.
The participants were mostly young, brilliantly articulate, healthy-looking men and women. Americans
predominated, followed by Germans and a smattering of Russians and other Europeans. They expressed
no emotion or concern over the dangers that might be involved in the apparently unstoppable, exponential

growth of the air transportation juggernaut despite the alarming numbers tossed around.
The scientific sessions were highly structured, technical presentations on the results of the latest international
research in atmospheric physics, chemistry, computer modeling, meteorology, field sampling and aircraft
emissions tracking.
And while the conference was not a secret, NASA did nothing to publicize the event. There were no press
invitations, no press releases. It would appear that the best way to keep a subject quiet is not to invite
attention by spoon-feeding information to the media.
Same Singer: Different Song
The big conference surprise was the session held by S. Fred Singer, a prominent "ozone depletion skeptic"
often cited by green-bashers like Rush Limbaugh. Singer argued that the steady increase in air traffic over
the last 20 years was responsible for the nighttime warming detected over North America.
Singer was one of the few scientists to generalize the issue, stating that "if this is true, then all the scenarios
of warming due to a doubling of carbon dioxide over the next century will have to be speeded up" a
startling statement from a man who has been called a shill of the energy industry and worse.
Researchers from NASA's Langley Research Center presented evidence that contrails are contributing to
global warming and causing local effects over areas with heavy air traffic. In April 1996, they found
contrails over New York during 40 percent of the month. Above Arizona, contrails appeared during 30
percent of the month. They concluded that vapor trails are a prevalent feature over US skies and that these
trails will "affect the radiation budget at some magnitude." The researchers also recommended that contrail
reporting become part of standard meteorological practices, with measurements repeated every few years
to assess the effects of increasing air traffic.
German researchers reported that up to one-tenth of the cirrus clouds over Central Europe could be attributed
to aircraft. A Swedish scientist said that it is difficult to distinguish between natural cirrus and aircraftcreated cirrus over Europe. He presented a composite satellite photo of Europe's cloud cover that showed
one remarkably clear area war-torn Bosnia where commercial aircraft do not fly.
Is the Stratosphere Threatened?
Air travel today mostly involves subsonic jets cruising in the upper troposphere, but many heavily traveled
air routes such as the North Atlantic Flight Corridor take subsonic jets into the stratosphere
almost half the time. This generally occurs on flights near the poles and when the stratosphere lowers in
winter. While substances injected in the troposphere remain for a few weeks at most, emissions in the
stratosphere can linger for months or years. Jets currently cruise at 10-11 km (6.2-6.8 miles), but the next
generation of jets is designed to fly higher, heading into the stratosphere more often. In the 1970s, the major
environmental battle over threats to the ozone layer concentrated on the atmospheric effects of supersonic

aircraft flying in the stratosphere. Nothing was known then about CFCs or chemical reactions taking place
on ice and frozen acid surfaces.
Today, there no longer is any doubt about the impact of large numbers of aircraft flying in the stratosphere.
Nonetheless, planes already are flying there subsonic planes. Environmentalists have been asleep in
their window seats.
Jim Scanlon writes for the Coastal Post. Reprinted with permission from the Coastal Post, PO Box 31,
Bolinas, CA 94924, (415) 868-1600.
2. by - Sid Perkins
Immediately after four hijacked airliners slammed into New York's World Trade Center [2001], the
Pentagon, and a field in southwestern Pennsylvania, the Federal Aviation Administration shut down all U.S.
commercial air traffic for 3 days. The unprecedented grounding of airliners enabled airports to step up
security measures. At the same time, scientists stepped up to a unique opportunity to study the influence
of high-flying aircraft on Earth's climate.
One way that aircraft may affect climate is through their cloud like contrails, which appear behind jets flying
at high altitude. Contrails are made of ice crystals that form within seconds around the small particles
present in aircraft exhaust, says David J. Travis, an atmospheric scientist at the University of WisconsinWhitewater. Although jet fuel produces water vapor as it burns, more than 90 percent of the ice in long-lived
contrails comes from water vapor already present in the air, says Travis.
Wispy cirrus clouds are the only ones that form naturally at the high altitudes where jets cruise. These thin
clouds slightly cool Earth's surface by blocking some incoming sunlight, but they moderately warm the
lower atmosphere by trapping a portion of Earth's outbound infrared radiation. Scientists have suspected
that contrails have similar but stronger effects.
Travis and his colleagues looked at the average diurnal temperature range (DTR)the difference between
the day's high and low temperaturesreported at more than 4,000 weather stations across the continental
United States. During the 3-day hiatus of air traffic last September, the average DTR was a little over 1EC
wider than normal, even though the average DTRs computed for the 3-day periods immediately before and
after that period were below normal.
Furthermore, says Travis, the Pacific Northwest, the Midwest, and the Northeastareas of the country
typically blanketed with aircraft contrails in mid-Septembershowed the largest changes in diurnal
temperature range, mostly from increased daytime high temperatures. This bolsters the argument that
contrails can significantly affect climate, Travis contends. He and his colleagues will report their findings
next week in Portland, Ore., at a conference of the American Meteorological Society.
__________

Ref. #041496 - A Copy of My Notification of Birth Registration Certificate.
Fig. 127. Scanned copy of my birth certificate registration. The given middle name of my father (Daniel) is in error.
His middle name was Delmer. My given nee middle name is Hoskins.
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BEYOND THE W ORD

ELIZABETH HUGATE HUDGINS

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | ii

1. Fig. 1. The cover photo is a compounded image: Earth_from_space.jpg.(Courtesy of Felix

&/ or previous versions of ( 3.0, 4.0, 5.0, 6.0).

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | iii

Part I -The Introduction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

Part II-The Awakening.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | iv

The Next Twenty-Five Years. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 240

Part III-Related Childhood Events .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 285

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | v

To My Sons and Daughters 2

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | vi

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | vii

One way is to use it.

From Principles of Philosophy (1644).

From The Declaration of Independence ( July 4, 1776) .

From his first Inaugural Address ( March 4, 1933).

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 8

Part I -The Introduction

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 9

About This Treatise

round ten oclock on the morning of January 14, 1969, I

began to experience a set of physiological conditions unlike

Fig. 3. From a 1996 photo. Credit: F.

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 10

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 11

This above all--to thine own self be true,

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 12

vuvh / the spiritual presence autobiographical testimony.

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 13

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 14

What is real, and what is of fantasy, envisionment, or mere speculation?

What is logical or credible, and what is not logical or credible?

What is fair or good, and what is not fair or good?

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 15

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 16

(G rk.), and presence/

A lso named: C onscience (E ng.), H oly Spirit /

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Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 18

I do not believe in either an infinite hell or everlasting damnation. That would be

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 19

I interpret life of creative being kind to be of three distinct types:

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 20

About My Writing Style

vkhk tre lajku ouh rutk ohvkt trehu 27

iterature is of two general genres: fiction and nonfiction.

Whereas the bulk of Genesis,

Butler, Samuel (1835-1902). English author.

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 21

or the silent inner

presence 30 (or any other part of our subconscious)

In the collective or unified sense of oneness, or

Absolute/ Infinite Mental Power.

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 22

Ellen Emerson W hite (New York: Scholastic Inc., 1998). VGT

Elizabeth Hugate Hudgins - BEYOND THE WORD : An Awakening | 23

E.g., humankind, parents, children, cattle; they, them, their.

: ohvkt cuht trh objv rnthu vuvh,t iyav ighu

In Biblical Hebrew, every envisioned source of either primary or subsequent involuntary