LABOR & DELIVERY

Natural Birth Stories

You probably havent heard birth stories like these before. Three women share their
very unique experiences delivering babies without drugs or doctors.

On the Farm: Talina Norris-Ryder

When Talina Norris-Ryder first started prenatal appointments with her ob-gyn, there was
one word she heard again and again: cant.
No, you cant walk around while in labor. You cant have a water birth. You cant eat
while in labor. And considering youre only a petite 100 pounds, odds are you cant even
have a vaginal birth.
Norris-Ryder doesnt like being told what she can or cant do. So she started
investigating home births and midwives. But in Indiana, tight regulations ban midwives
from practicing in hospitals, and her husband was skeptical of a home birth. Research
led her next to the Midwifery Center at the Farm, a natural childbirth oasis created by
Ina May Gaskin, arguably the most popular midwife in America.
Located in Summertown, Tennessee, the Farm is a three-hour drive from Norris-Ryders
home in Evansville, Indiana. But after meeting her midwife, Norris-Ryder had no doubt
that it was the place where she wanted to become a mother.
Our midwife made us feel really calm, says Norris-Ryder. She didnt even know me or
my medical situation, but she had the confidence, so I had the confidence.
Norris-Ryders husband, Nathan, wasnt so quickly won over. He asked the technical
questions: Was childbirth at the Farm safe? What did they do in case of an emergency?
After seeing that the Farm had neonatal resuscitation equipment, oxygen and the ability
to deal with hemorrhaging, he finally agreed. What helped, too, was knowing that twothirds of the $5,000 total cost would be covered by their health insurance.
Everly was born on the Farm in 2009. Norris-Ryder arrived two weeks before her due
date, and when her water broke, she walked from the cabin she was renting to her
midwifes house next door. Come now, she said. I think the babys coming. In the
early stages, she tried to rest, sleeping when she could and listening to meditational
music on her iPod. When it came time to push, midwives had Norris-Ryder move
around until she found the right birthing position.
They said, Heres the birth stool. Hang from the door handle. Do this. Do that, NorrisRyder recalls. When she got on her hands and knees, the baby crowned very quickly.
So quickly, in fact, that Norris-Ryder experienced a fourth-degree perineal tear. There
was some pain afterward, but I didnt really feel it in the moment, she says. Because
muscle was involved, the tear was deeper than the midwives could suture themselves.

Norris-Ryder was transported to the local hospital. She nursed her baby while being
stitched up.
Everlys birth was intense, and there was a risk shed tear again with a second baby.
But the Farm had given Norris-Ryder what she wanted: control over her birth
experience. So what did she do two years later when she had her second baby? She
headed back to the Farm. And this time, she live-streamed Adalyns birth on her
website.
People didnt understand the Farm the first time around, my family included, she says.
They were very weirded-out about it. Why would we go again? I was like, You guys
really just dont get it. I really felt people needed to see. Unless you have a crazy
medical condition, birth is not an ordeal that needs to be overseen. Animals have babies
all the time. People dont typically die in childbirth. I think that when we expect things to
be complicated, then they do get complicated.
The second time, Norris-Ryder labored on her back and on a bed, and because she had
bad back labor, it was very painful. She tore again during delivery, but this time only
to the second degree. When the baby crowned, one of the midwives woke two-year-old
Everly, who was in the next room. She sat in bed with me while her sister was being
born, says Norris-Ryder.
The Farm was an awesome experience, says Norris-Ryder. They do amazing things
out there.
Orgasmic Birth: Jaiya Ma
If childbirth has a cliche, its the screaming woman writhing in pain, begging for drugs
and cursing her babys father. It was everything Jaiya Ma didnt want when she gave
birth three years ago. In fact, she wanted the complete opposite. And so she planned
for an orgasmic birth.
For me, orgasmic birth is about bringing my baby into the world with pleasure, as
opposed to pain, says Ma, who is a sexologist by profession. I had this idea of using
the pain threshold and switching it from pain into more of a pleasurable experience.
How did she achieve this? First was the setting. She chose to labor outdoors in a
Jacuzzi tub, staring out at the Topanga Canyon and mountains that are the backdrop to
her California home, the winds blowing and the horses watching nearby.

Second was the training for her partner. I spent nine months training my guy, she
says. He was to be her emotional rock, remaining connected with her during the labor
through kissing, talking and eye gazing. Hed also be doing nipple and clitoral
stimulation.
Next and most important, Ma focused on preparing herself for an orgasmic birth. She
belly danced, had chiropractic care throughout (to ensure the babys head stayed in
position, she says), ate well, did a lot of journaling and studied up on how to use
oxytocin, the hormone associated with both labor and orgasm, to create a pleasurable
birth experience.
Mas 20 hours of labor did not equate to a 20-hour-long orgasm. But she did have
orgasmic moments, one of which occurred as the baby was born and another while she
had the intense contractions of second-stage labor.
I was in the tub outside and we had seven horses standing around me making these
crazy noises like they knew something was going on, Ma says. The wind was just
blowing like crazy, and I was getting an anal massage in the tub (from the doula) and I
was in bliss. It was like the most blissful amazing moment of the birth.
Anal massage? Yes. Relieving pressure in the rectum relaxes the entire pelvic region.
And for Ma, that helped turn pain into pleasure.
Every time you have an orgasm, your uterus is contracting, says Ma. So its all about
the frame. I can frame this as painful and horrible, or I can frame this as each one of
these contractions is an orgasm going through my body really intensely.
By the time Ma was ready to deliver Eamon Kai, night had fallen and temperatures had
dipped, so she had to move inside. While she had a perineal tear during delivery, she
didnt feel pain. She credits this, as well as her pleasurable birth, to her mental
preparation prior to labor. She never let her mind associate birth with pain.
If you want an orgasmic birth, dont watch videos of women in horrible pain, says Ma,
who has a video explaining the hows and whys. Surround yourself with videos of
orgasmic birth. Reframe it psychologically. Get your partner involved. And the biggest
thing is to really get in touch with your own pleasure. Get in touch with your orgasms.
And you have to have an open relationship with your partner so that you have that
communication and comfort.
Unassisted Home Birth: Lia Reilly

When contractions woke Lia Reilly at 7 a.m. on a chilly January New England morning,
she had a good idea of how shed be spending her day. She asked her husband,
Michael, to take the day off work. Knowing his wife labored best when she was alone,
he took the couples two boys out to the grocery store.
With transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) pads strapped to her back
(they deliver electrical impulses that blunt pain), Reilly started her day. She frosted a
chocolate cake. She started filling up her birthing tub with water. Each time she felt a
contraction, she used one of the Hypnobabies relaxation techniques shed been
practicing for months. She felt pressure waves, not pain.
At about 10:15 a.m., with her husband still not home, Reilly was becoming curious as to
whether this labor was the real deal. So for the next contraction, she didnt use any of
her pain-coping techniques. The pain erased all doubt. The contractions started coming
closer and closer together. Reilly continued filling the birthing tub.
Minutes later, Michael returned home. Reilly checked her own cervix but felt only the
bag of fluid. Thinking she must be close, she got into the tub. Her water broke. Her
sons, Nathan, 5, and Quinn, 3, circled the tub, occasionally peeking in to see if there
was a baby yet. The pain intensified as the baby started to crown. Next came the
shoulders, and with one big push, the baby was out. Reilly noticed that the cord was
wrapped once around the babys neck, so she calmly uncoiled it and lifted her baby up
to the surface. At 11:13 a.m., Lilliana was breathing but didnt cry. Welcome, little girl!
Reilly exclaimed.
With labor over and Lilliana nursing peacefully, Reilly decided it was time to call the
midwives. Once they arrived, she delivered the placenta. They weighed and checked
Lilliana. She was perfectly healthy.
Ive been using the term unassisted birth, which is what people are familiar with, says
Reilly. But family birth describes the experience a whole lot better. Unassisted birth
sounds like this crazy thing that you do to be different from everyone else. Thats not the
motivation for choosing it. Thats not the way it felt when we were going through it. It
really just was this nice family experience.
The first two births werent as peaceful for Reilly. With Nathan, she had planned for a
natural water birth at a hospital. But exhaustion won out, and she wound up getting an
epidural. With Quinn, she had a home birth with midwives, but even that fell short of her
expectations.

With the midwives, there was a level of commotion and lack of peacefulness around
me, says Reilly. There were other people rushing in and setting up. I did start to feel
really uncomfortable at the end.
What Reilly realized through that experience was that my body works best when Im left
alone, she says. So when she became pregnant with Lilliana, she found a midwife who
supervised her prenatal care, would be on standby in case anything unexpected
happened and agreed to come to the house after the delivery.
Reilly was extremely confident up until the moment when Lilliana crowned. Theres that
surge of adrenaline that kind of kicks your body into gear to get that baby out, and that
told me, Oh my God, what are you doing? Theres no midwife here! And, then she was
born.
While how and where to give birth are very personal choices, the American Congress of
Obstetricians and Gynecologists asserts that a hospital is the safest place, pointing to
research that shows a two- to threefold increase in the risk of newborn death for babies
delivered outside of a medical setting. But Reilly, who is a doula and currently training to
be a midwife, doesn't regret her choice.
After my daughter was born, I remember thinking, Wow. That was exactly what I was
hoping for, says Reilly. I cant believe how it worked out that way.

By Cynthia Ramnarace