Documente Academic
Documente Profesional
Documente Cultură
2012, All Rights Reserved First edition The 99 Best Texts of ALL TIME by Bobby Rio
(TSB Magazine) and Rob Judge (Date Hotter Girls, LLC) 2012, All Right Reserved
Section
Response Bait
T
O
e x t
ne
# 9T 9
-Hit Wonder
ext
T
T
e x t
he
# M9 8
Lovechild
aker
T
T
R e sp onse Ba it
e x t
he
Red
#W9 7?
or the
hite
T
G
e x t
irl
# T9 6
Got
alent
T
P
# 9T 5
e x t
u pp y
Eyes
ext
T
A
R e sp onse Ba it
#9
4
P
e x t
bsurd
Weekend
lans
T
M
e x t
usic
P i r at e
#
9
3
F
M
irst
at e
T
T
e x t
exting
#
9
2
F
oreigner
R e sp onse Ba it
T
L
#
9
1
@ B
M
e x t
a u gh i n g
ad
ovies
T
W
e x t
A ll
#
9
0
T
I
hink
T
I
#8
9
S
e x t
nked
D ogg y
tyle
T
D
R e sp onse Ba it
e x t
ead
A n y w ay
#
8
8
,L
R
ast
esort
T
G
# C8 7
e x t
oo d
Luck
harm
T
L
# W8 6
e x t
earn
To Speak
om a n
I just overheard a girl calling some guy a random creeper. Can you translate this womanese
for me?
T
S
R e sp onse Ba it
e x t
hes
# 8L 5
A Charming
ass
Section
T
A
e x t
#C 8 4
t t a c k of t h e
ougars
Things got pretty wild after you left last nightsome aggressive cougar grabbed my butt! And I have the handprints to prove it! Rob, that dashing man from [venue]
T
P
e x t
or
# 8L 3
L at i n a
ove
10
T
B
Th e Day A f t e r
e x t
ad
Girl,
#
8
2
G
T
oo d
ext
T
U
#A 8 1
e x t
n d e r s tat e d
w e s om e
T
T
e x t
exting
#
8
0
A
n o n y mo u s
11
T
W
Th e Day A f t e r
e x t
ild
#7
9
N
i gh t
T
S
e x t
oul
# 7 F8
-Destroying
un
12
Section
Making Plans
T
D
e x t
ive
#E 7 7
B a r M at h
q u at i o n
T
R
e x t
om a n t i c
#E 7 6
x plo r e r
13
T
P
M a king P l a ns
#
7
5
N
e x t
ho n e
B oo k
o s t a lg i a
T
S
e x t
i mpl e
#
7
4
D
irectness
Drinks? Later?
T
N
e x t
erd
Love
# 7T 3
fo r
wo
14
T
B
M a king P l a ns
e x t
ack
to
the
#
7
2
O
D
ld
ay s
T
T
# 7L 1
e x t
he
Iron Chef
of
ove
T
D
e x t
elicious
#S 7 0
urprise
15
T
C
Sect i on Ti t le
e x t
oo k i n g
#
6
9
U
L
p
ove
T
G
e x t
irl
With
# 6D8
a
og
T
T
e x t
ake
the
# P6 7
lunge
16
T
M
M a king P l a ns
e x t
ock
Gang
#B 6 6
angers
T
D
e x t
at e
Planner
#
6
5
C
ompl i m e n t
17
Section
Golden Responses
T
D
e x t
ont
Drink
#H 6 4
the
at e r a i d
Dont. Hate.
T
I
e x t
n s u lt
#63
Turnaround
18
T
H
G ol de n R e sp onse s
#
6
2
G
e x t
ear
Thru
the
rapevine
T
S
e x t
Much
#C 6 1
in
ommo n
T
G
e x t
oo d
# 6K 0
Babisms
to
n ow
19
T
M
G ol de n R e sp onse s
# H5 9
e x t
i s u n d e r s t oo d
u mo r
T
T
#W5 8
e x t
extual
i s d om
T
N
e x t
#B 5 7
R e s po n s e
reaker
20
G ol de n R e sp onse s
T
T
e x t
T
A
e x t
ext
#
5
6
C
ompl i m e n t
#5
5
T
mazing
exts
T
H
e x t
ard
to
#
5
4
G
T
et
ext
21
T
A
G ol de n R e sp onse s
e x t
fter
# 5B 3
om b
T
F
# 51 021
e x t
lake
Busting
T
M
e x t
ass
#5
1
H
Text
at e r
22
T
A
G ol de n R e sp onse s
#H 5 0
e x t
fter
ilarity
T
A
e x t
fter
#
4
9
S
weetness
T
A
e x t
fter
#B 4 8
u ll s h i t
23
T
S
G ol de n R e sp onse s
e x t
low
# T4 7
exter
T
R
e x t
equest
# 4L 6
ine
24
Section
Getting Sexual
T
S
e x t
T
P
e x t
exy
#
4
5
C
omm a n d o
i llow
F i gh t
#
4
4
C
h a ll e n g e
25
T
S
Get t ing Se x ua l
# 4
3
S
e x t
hes
Sick, You
re
icker
T
H
# R4 2
e x t
otness
equst
T
H
e x t
ol i d a y
#4
1
C
heer
26
T
C
Get t ing Se x ua l
#
4
0
C
-O
e x t
hddle
a ll
ut
T
S
e x t
exy
or
#
3
9
T
raditional
T
F
e x t
unny
#
3
8
&
S
exual
27
T
N
Get t ing Se x ua l
# T3 7
e x t
ew
Years
rends
T
O
# S3 6
e x t
b v i o u s ly
exual
T
C
e x t
uddle
# 3T 5
ime
28
T
B
Get t ing Se x ua l
e x t
ack
to
# D3 4
...
the
ay s
T
M
e x t
assage
#T 3 3
hearpy
29
Section
Situational
T
A
e x t
rriving
# 3D 2
to
at e
T
B
e x t
ad
Drunk
#
3
1
B
ehavior
30
T
O
e x t
T
F
e x t
ut
#3
0
T
of
ouch
unny
New
#
2
9
Y
T
ears
ext
T
W
e x t
orking
# 2L 8
with
ove
31
T
W
e x t
inter
#
2
7
D
T
at e
ext
T
B
# 2T 6
e x t
est
B i r t h d ay
ext
Its birthday season! Act surprised when the midget pops out of the cake I sent youmy way of saying happy birfday!
T
P
e x t
re
-Game
# 2T 5
ext
32
T
A
#24
U
e x t
fter
Messing
What are you doing Sunday? My lackluster performance last night was intentional: it can only
go up from here!
T
C
#2
3
J
e x t
hristmas
oker
T
N
e x t
ew
Years
#H 2 2
ilarity
33
T
R
e x t
#2
1
G
e s po n s i b l e
i f t s
Im just gonna stay home for my birthday. Its my b-day gift to my liver.
T
N
e x t
S u b t ly
# 2 A0
at
ll
34
Section
Random Humor
T
B
#
1
9
H
D
e x t
ad
Face
air
ay
My friend just tried to convince me to grow a handlebar mustache. He was overwhelmingly unsuccessful. Do you have any feelings on mustaches?
T
O
e x t
ld
Creeper
#
1
8
C
omm e n t a r y
35
T
M
R a nd om Humor
e x t
ocking
#
1
7
C
o r po r a t e
T
B
e x t
eing
an
#
1
6
A
r i s t o c r at
T
D
e x t
istant
#
1
5
M
e mo r i e s
36
T
B
R a nd om Humor
e x t
ased on a
#
1
4
T
S
rue
tory
T
F
e x t
a m i ly
#
1
3
W
eirdness
T
B
e x t
est
#C 1 2
L oo k i n g
hildren
Lets spawn some Zoolander-looking children togetherkeep your day planner open!
37
T
R
R a nd om Humor
e x t
o
#11
t
T
S
e x t
hoo t g u n
#T 1 0
exting
T
F
e x t
ear
of
#N 9
injas
38
T
S
R a nd om Humor
e x t
ta r b u c ks
#S 8
Music
ucks
T
S
e x t
at u r d ay
#F 7
N i gh t
ever
T
F
e x t
unny
# 6
S e lf - D e p r e c a t i n g
39
T
H
R a nd om Humor
e x t
ol d o n t o
T h at
#
5
F
eeling
T
D
e x t
ay d r e a m s
# H4
of
er
Ahh, bored at work. Would much rather be wrestling alligators with you
T
C
e x t
off e e
#
3
A
ddict
40
T
B
R a nd om Humor
e x t
reakfast
of
#
2
C
h a mp s
T
T
e x t
humb
#L 1
ove
41