10. CONTRIBUTION.

Years ago, I remember being in one of the toughest times in my life,

driving
down the freeway in the middle of the night. I kept asking, "What do I need to do to turn my
life
around?" Suddenly an insight came to me, accompanied by such intense emotion that I was
compelled
to pull my car off the road immediately and write down one key phrase in my journal: "The
secret to
living is giving."
There's no richer emotion I know of in life than the sense that who you are as a person,
something
you've said or done, has added to more than just your own life, that somehow it has enhanced
life's
experience for someone you care about, or maybe someone you don't even know. The stories
that
move me most profoundly are about people who follow the highest spiritual emotion of caring
unconditionally and acting for others' benefit. When I saw the musical Les Miserables, I was
deeply
moved by the character of Jean Valjean, because he was such a good man who wanted to give
so
much to others. Each day we should cultivate that sense of contribution by focusing not only
on
ourselves, but on others as well.
Don't fall into the trap, though, of trying to contribute to others at your own expenseplaying
the
martyr won't give you a true sense of contribution. But if you can consistently give to
yourself
and others on a measurable scale that allows you to know that your life has mattered, you'll
have a
sense of connection with people and a sense of pride and self-esteem that no amount of
money,
accomplishments, fame, or acknowledgment could ever give. A sense of contribution makes all
of life
worthwhile. Imagine what a better world it would be if all of us cultivated a sense of
contribution!
THE TEN ACTION SIGNALS
1. DISCOMFORT
2. FEAR
3. HURT
4. ANGER
5. FRUSTRATION
6. DISAPPOINTMENT
7. GUILT
8. INADEQUACY
9. OVERLOAD, OVERWHELM
10. LONELINESS
THE TEN EMOTIONS OF POWER
1. LOVE AND WARMTH
2. APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE
3. CURIOSITY
4. EXCITEMENT AND PASSION
5. DETERMINATION
6. FLEXIBIUTY
7. CONFIDENCE
8. CHEERFULNESS
9. VITALITY
10. CONTRIBUTION
Plant these emotions daily, and watch your whole life grow with a vitality that you've never
dreamed of before. Here, for review, are the ten Action Signals and the ten Emotions of Power.

I
cannot emphasize strongly enough the importance of learning to use the negative emotions
for what
they arecalls to actionand committing to cultivate the positive emotions. Do you remember
the 3"
x 5" card you created on which you wrote down all the messages and solutions your Action
Signals are
giving you? Review it frequently throughout the day. As you view it even now, you may notice
that the
positive emotions we've just covered are great antidotes to the Action Signals. In other words,
if
you're feeling uncomfortable emotion, then love and warmth will make changing that emotion
much
simpler. If you're feeling fearful, then a sense of gratitude wipes that emotion out. If you're
feeling
hurt and then get curious about what's going on, that replaces the sense of hurt. If you're
feeling
angry and you turn that emotional intensity into directed excitement and passion, think of
what you
can accomplish! Frustration can be broken through with the use of determination.
Disappointment can
be dissolved by being flexible in your approach. Guilt disappears the minute you become
confident that
you're going to stick to your new standards. Inadequacy departs when you're feeling cheerful;
there's
simply no room for it. A sense of overload disappears with a sense of personal power and
vitality.
Loneliness melts away the moment you figure out how to contribute to others.
I'd now like you to do an assignment that will fully associate you to the simple and powerful
tool of
emotions.
1) Over the next two days, any time you feel a disempowering or negative emotion,
follow the
six steps to emotional mastery. Identify what category it belongs in, and recognize its
value in
giving you the message that you need. Discover whether what needs to be changed are your
perceptions or your actions. Get confident, get certain, and get excited.
2) Action Signals serve an important function, but if you didn't have to feel them as often,
wouldn't
that be preferable? In addition to the Emotions of Power, cultivate global beliefs that help
minimize your experience of the negative emotions. For example, I've eliminated the
feeling of
abandonment (loneliness) from my life because I've adopted the belief that I can never really
be
abandoned. If someone I love ever tried to "abandon" me, I'd just follow them! (Other
empowering
beliefs include, "This, too, shall pass"; "Love is the only must in my life; everything else is a
should";
and "There's always a way, if I'm committed.")
Utilize these Emotions of Power daily, and use the six steps to emotional mastery to transform
your
Action Signals into positive action. Remember: Every feeling that you havegood or badis
based on
your interpretation of what things mean. Whenever you start to feel bad, ask yourself this
question:
"What else could this mean?" It's the first step toward taking control of your emotions.
What I hope you'll take from this chapter is an appreciation of all your emotions and a sense
of
excitement that they're all providing you with a chance to learn something to make your life

better,
literally at a moment's notice. Never again do you need to feel that painful emotions are your
enemies.
They're all here to serve you as a signal that some kind of change is needed. As you refine
your ability
to use these Action Signals, you'll start handling them up front, when they are small, rather
than
waiting until they turn into full-blown crises. For instance, you'll handle a situation while it's
still
annoying, not infuriatinglike handling a weight problem when you notice the first extra
pound rather
than waiting until you've added another thirty.
Over the next couple of weeks, focus on enjoying the process of learning from all of your
emotions.
You can experience the whole kaleidoscope at any moment you choose. Don't be afraidride
the roller
coaster! Experience the joy, passion, and thrill of all the emotions, and know that you're in
control! It's
your life, your emotions, your destiny. One thing I have found is that although someone may
know
how to do something, they might still not apply what they know. What we really need is a
reason to
use the power of our decisions, to change our beliefs, to get leverage on ourselves and
interrupt our
patterns, to ask better questions and sensitize ourselves to our vocabulary and metaphors. In
order to be motivated on a consistent basis, we need to develop ..