I was culturally startled one day at my

neighbors house. The man had retired from the

fields, and he and his wife, as the custom was,
were being supported by their sons who worked
in the fields. When I saw the bathroom, with a
homemade commode made of claythese were
poor peopleI asked him about the used toilet
paper thrown into a pile on the floor. He
explained that the sewer system couldnt handle
toilet paper. He said that I should just throw
mine onto the pile, adding that it was his wifes
job to pick up the used toilet paper and throw it
out.

The sex was vital for proving manhood. When

the men took me to a whorehouse (to help
explain their culture, they said), they couldnt
understand why I wouldnt have sex with a
prostitute. Didnt I find the women attractive?
Yes, they were good looking. Werent they sexy?
Yes, very much so. Was I a real man? Yes. Then
why not? My explanation about being married
didnt faze them one bit. They were married,
tooand a real man had to have sex with more
women than just his wife. Explanations of
friendship with a wife and respect for her fell on
deaf cultural ears

mutual arrangement between a

man and a woman

Native Americans

Same sex marriage sounds so new but it

has been around for ages
When Columbus landed in the Americas,
some Native American tribes already had
same-sex marriages. Through a ceremony
called the berdache, a man or woman who
wanted to be a member of the opposite sex
was officially declared to have his or her sex
changed. The new man or woman put on
the clothing and performed the tasks
associated with his or her new sex, and was
allowed to marry

couple who are approved to have

sexual relations

Nair men and women of India

The Nayar of Malabar never allow a bride

and groom to have sex. After a three-day
celebration of the marriage, they send the
groom packingand never allow him to
see his bride again (La Barre 1954). This
can be a little puzzling to figure out, but it
works like this: The groom is borrowed
from another tribe for the ceremony.

 Although

the Nayar bride cant have

sex with her husband, after the
wedding, she can have approved
lovers from her tribe. This system
keeps family property intactalong
matrilineal lines.

mutual commitment entered by 2

people who are alive

A Corpse Bride in China

 On

the Loess Plateau in China, if a

son dies without a wife, his parents
look for a dead woman to be his
bride. After buying one from the
parents of a dead unmarried
daughterthe dead man and
woman are married and then buried
together

 Happy

that their son will have

intimacy in the afterlife, the
parents throw a party to
celebrate the marriage (Fremson
2006)

What is Marriage then?

 Is

a legal contract entered into by

both consenting and normalminded spouses
Permanent, exclusive and nonrevocable contract
Is considered holy by almost all
religion
Above 18 years of age

 If

you are 18-21 years old

written parental consent from
parents
If you are 21-25 present a
parental
advice
containing
information
that
parents
allowing marriage

 Old

fashioned courtship done

through
wood-chopping,
fetching water and household
chores as service to would be inlaws

HARANA

Chopping Wood for Loves sake

Robert Sternbergs Triangular theory of Love

 Have

you ever been love sick

before? Is it really true?
Feelings of love creates great
activity on the same area of the
brain when cocaine addicts are
craving cocaine
Conclusion: love can be addictive

 Modern-day

courtship has 6
possible styles:

 Ludus

(game-playing love) a
lover who sees love as a game
and does not want to be
dependent on love or on one
lover

 Pragma

(practical love) the

rational/practical/pragmatic
Lover sees love as a means to
economic security

 Eros

(passionate love) the

erotic lover is someone who is
consumed by both passionate
and romantic feelings which
dictate commitment

 Mania

(possessive or dependent
love) the manic lover is
someone who is possessive,
extremely jealous, insecure and
controlling

 Storge

(friendship love) a
storgic lover is calm and
soothing lover who respects,
values friendship and can love in
a non-passionate way

 Agape (altruistic love) an agapic

lover is a non-expecting,
nurturing, and caring partner
who is concerned for the others
welfare

 Endogamy

marrying within
ones own group either regional
or national

Exogamy

marrying outside
ones own group either regional
or national

 Patrilocal the couple lives in the

same household or community

of the male
Matrilocal

the couple lives in

the
same
household
or
community of the female

 Neolocal

the couple lives in

their own residence apart from
their parents

Bilocal

there is a shift in
residence from matrilocal to
patrilocal and vice versa

 Monogamy

marriage between
a man and a woman

Adoptive

here, the prospective

son-in-law is adopted by the
family before the wedding to
preserve the family name

 Polygamy

a person is allowed
to marry 2 or more members of
the opposite sex
Polygyny one man may marry 2

or more women
Polyandry - one woman may marry
2 or more men (African and
Tibetan tribe)

 Fictive

a union of two women,

an older and younger one
probably for companionship only

Sororate When a man is allowed to

marry his deceased wifes sister

Levirate When a woman is allowed
to marry his deceased husbands
brother

On Marriage

 People

who are married live

longer
Even when couples end up in
divorce or annulment, they live
longer than those who did not
marry at all
Longer if they re-marry coming
from divorce

 An

approved group into which

children are born

Banaro Tribe, New Guinea

 In

this group, a young woman

must give birth before she can
marryand she cannot marry the
father of her child (Murdock
1949)

 The

unit in which parents are

responsible for disciplining children
and providing for their material
needs

Trobriand Islanders, New Guinea

 Among

the Trobriand Islanders, it is

not the parents but the wifes eldest
brother who is responsible for
providing the childrens discipline
and their food (Malinowski 1927)

What is a Family then?

 Traditionally

defined a consisting
of a husband and wife and child
Consists of people who consider
themselves related by blood,
marriage of adoption

 Nuclear

it includes the couple

and the children
Extended

includes
grandparents and other relatives
Joint the siblings reside in one
house together with their
spouses and children

 Truncated

the grandparents
serve as the guardians and
breadwinners of an orphaned
child
Stem Each married member of
the family lives in the same place
as in a compound

 Blended

the man or woman

who re-marries lives in the same
house with his or
her
husband/wife together with their
stepson/daughter

 Patriarchal
Matriarchal
Egalitarian

 Divorce

legal dissolution of a
marriage by a court or other
body
The cancelling or reorganization
of the legal duties and
responsibilities of marriage

 Legal

Separation this is an
arrangement where husband or
wife remains married but they
live apart, following a court order
Repeated physical abuse
Moral

pressure
religious affiliation

changing

 Corruption inducing children to

prostitution
Imprisonment for 6 years
Drug addiction or alcoholism
Homosexuality
Bigamous Marriage
Sexual Infidelity
Abandonment for more than a year

 Annulment

declaring that the

marriage is null and void
Absence of parental consent
Unsound mind
Consent was obtained by fraud or

force
Physical incapacity
Affliction of incurable disease - STD

Marriage or Family?