David Moster ‫בס"ד‬

Spring 2007
Hilchos Aveilus with Rabbi Simon ‫שליט"א‬
Chazara Questions and Answers

1+2 – ‫אנינות מדאורייתא‬

1. ‫אנינות מדאורייתא דיני‬
a. Devarim 26:14 – when a person gives maaser he must come before G-d
and say that he didn’t eat it “‫”באני‬.
i. Rashi – this is the source that an onein can’t eat maaser sheini
b. Mishna Bikurim 2:2 – both maaser and Bikurim are forbidden to an onein
i. Rash – we learn bikurim from maaser through a hekesh
ii. Rambam – we learn bikurim from its own pasuk: Devarim 36:11 –
when a person brings bikurim he should be happy before G-d:
‫ושמחתה בכל הטוב‬.
c. Vayikra 10:19 – Aharon decides not to eat kodshim [the korban chatas of
Rosh Chodesh] because he is an onein: “‫ הייטב בעיני ה‬,‫”?'ואכלתי חטאת היום‬
From here we see that an onein isn’t allowed to eat korbanos.
i. Semag – even if this is not the real source, there is a Gemara in
Chullin 132b that says that korbanos must be eaten in the manner
that kings eat (“‫)”למשחה‬, i.e. with happiness. This is an alternative
source for the law that an onein can’t eat kodshim.
d. Amos 8:10 – G-d will make the land mourn as if it was mourning an only
son, and then its end will be a “bitter day”.
i. Zevachim 100b – Rebbe says that aninus layla is miderobonon,
and Rebbe Yehuda says that its mideoraisa. According to Rebbe
aninus mideoraisa lasts the entire day, even beyond the kevura, but
not into that night. Aninus miderobonon lasts into the next night.
What if happens if the person died during the night? The aninus
would begin at night and continue the next day.
1. How long is aninus miderobonon? If the person died on
Sunday morning and was buried on Sunday afternoon,
aninus miderobonon lasts until the Monday morning. If he
was buried on Monday afternoon the aninus miderobonon
lasts until the kevura.
e. Pesachim 91b-92a – the Gemara assumes like Rebbe that the night of
aninus is only miderobonon, as seen by the fact that a person can eat the
korban pesach at night even though he was an onein during the day: "‫לא‬
‫"העמידו דבריהם במקום כרת‬.
2. ‫דיני אנינות ברגל‬
a. Zevachim 100b – an onein on erev Pesach can eat the korban pesach at
night.
i. Rashi – if the aninus would fall out on the Yom Tov itself the
onein wouldn’t be allowed to eat kodshim. Thus, Rashi holds that
aninus does apply to Yom Tov.

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 b. Moed Katan 14b – the laws of aninus for a Kohen Gadol during the year
are like those for normal people on a festival: both can bring korbanos but
can't eat those korbanos.
i. Tosfos Rid – he limits this Gemara significantly: the Kohen Gadol
is only similar to a regular onein in regards to bringing korbanos,
but, whereas the Kohen Gadol can’t eat the korbanos, a regular
onein can eat korbanos on festivals. The laws of aninus min
haTorah do not apply to festivals.
c. Mishnah Lemelech – he takes the middle approach. He seems to agree
with the Tosfos Rid that there is no aninus on Yom Tov, but he explains
Zevachim 100b and Moed Katan 14b k’pshuto and says there is an issur to
eat korbanos as an onein. What’s the issur? Chullin 132b says that
korbanos must be eaten in a royal state (“‫)”למשחה‬, i.e. you can’t be
bothered by other things.
d. Yerushalmi Chagiga – when Dovid died on Shavuous they pushed the
korbanos off for one day. [Rav Simon – this might be a reason for the
minhag of eating dairy on shavuos, but one could come up with a million
different reasons.]
i. Rashi would say this is because there is aninus on Yom Tov
ii. Tosfos Rid might say like the Mishnah Lemelech; they were busy
with Dovid and weren’t fit to bring the korban.
3. ‫ "לא אכלתי באני ממנו‬:‫"משמעות דקרא‬
a. Rambam – a person gets lashes for eating maaser sheini in aninus
i. Rambam 8th Shoresh – there are two types of negative statements
in the Torah, a warning (e.g. don’t steal) and a shelilah (e.g. it is
bad to do…). Whereas we normally don’t give lashes for a
shelilah, the only exception is when the Torah tells us to cleanse
ourselves of an aveira. In regards to eating maaser sheini in aninus
the Torah tells us to admit that we didn’t do it (‫)לא אכלתי באני ממנו‬.
Therefore, eating maaser sheini in aninus is a true lav and deserves
lashes.
b. Ramban – he disagrees to this rule in the Rambam and says that there are
no lashes for eating maaser sheini in aninus. The only problem is violating
the mitzvas asei of eating it in a happy state – ‫ושמחתה בכל הטוב‬.
c. Minchas Chinuch – besides for the type of punishment, a small nafka mina
between Rambam and Ramban is if the maaser sheini is assur b’hanaa.
According to Rambam it would be like all other lavs and assur b’hanaa,
but Ramban would say it is fine.
4. ‫אין אנינות אלא בלב‬
a. Mishna Sanhedrin 46b – there is no public aveilus for those killed by beis
din, but there is aninus because it is a private act, "‫"אין אנינות אלא בלב‬.
i. Yad Rama – why are you allowed to do aninus for a person killed
by beis din? Either because (A) it isn’t noticeable, (B) the emotions
are too overwhelming and there is no other option, or (C) the only
problem is aveilus which is a form of kavod and takes away from
the kapara.

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 b. Semachot 2:10 – when beis din kills a person the relatives should wear
festive clothes and eat a festive meal because one of the haters of G-d was
laid to rest.

3 – ‫מי שמתו מוטל לפניו‬

5. ‫אמירת ברכת המזון באנינות‬
a. Brochos 17b-18a – an onein is "‫"פטור מכל המצוות האמורות בתורה‬. He
shouldn’t make brochos or bench, whether he is doing it for himself, for
others, or if others are doing it for him.
b. Rashi – although he doesn’t have to make brochos or bench, he is allowed
to if he wants.
c. Tosfos – the Yerushalmi says that an onein isn’t allowed to make brochos
or bench: "‫"אם רצה להחמיר אין שומעין לו‬.
d. Rash in Demai – an onein is allowed to make brochos and bench. The only
thing that he may not do is be motzi acherim or have others be motzi him.
What about the Yerushalmi? It was only referring to the mitzvot of tefillin,
krias shema, and tefilla, but brochos and benching are fine.
i. Rav Frand – why are brochos, which are still allowed, different
from other mitzvos? If one were to eat without a brocha it would
be like stealing from G-d, and that is a negative commandment.
Also, the reason that shomaya k’oneh doesn’t work here is that the
onein should be in a state of aloneness and avoid all sorts of
camaraderie.
e. Shulchan Aruch – at first he says that the onein shouldn’t say birchas
hamazon, but then quotes Tosfos that he isn’t allowed to.
6. ‫דיני אנינות בשבת ויו"ט‬
a. Brochos 17b-18a – an onein is chayav in all of the mitzvos on Shabbos
i. Tosfos – although the Gemara said an onein is chayav, that is only
when he isn’t involved with the kevurah. Yet, if the onein must
wait at the techum in order to get a head start on the funeral
preparations (a form of involvement) he is patur from the mitzvos.
b. Shulchan Aruch – paskins like Tosfos that aninus can apply on Shabbos if
one is involved with the kevurah. Yet, in most situations it does not apply
and all forms of aninus (except for the issur tashmish) are batel.
7. ‫שני טעמים של פטור אנינות‬
a. Yerushalmi Brochos – the reason for the petur is either (A) kavod hameis,
or (B) to allow the onein to do the burial. The nafka mina is a case where
others are taking care of the burial: according to (A) he is still patur, but
according to (B) he is chayav in mitzvos because the burial is taken care
of.
b. Shulchan Aruch – It is not clear what the Shulchan Aruch holds. On the
one hand he paskins like (A): even if others are taking care of the meis an
onein is patur from mitzvos. Yet, he also paskins like (B): an onein is
chayav in mitzvos on Shabbos if he isn’t involved in the kevurah, and an
onein is chayav in mitzvos if he has handed the meis to the chevra
kadisha.

3
 i. It seems we hold like both.
8. ‫שנמסר לרבים אוכל בשר ושותה יין‬
a. Yerushalmi Brochos – once the meis has been given over to the chevra
kadisha it is permissible for an onein to eat meat and drink wine.
i. Ramban – he paskins like this Yerushalmi (but insists that the
onein doesn’t eat in front of the dead body).
ii. Chochmat Adam – once the meis is given to the chevra kadisha the
onein should pray as usual, even if he knows that the body hasn’t
been buried.
b. Nodeh B'Yehudah – he quotes the Hagaos Maimonios who wonders about
the parameters of this law. If the onein will travel to the cemetery it might
be considered as if he is still involved with the meis and he would be patur
in mitzvot.
i. Yet, in situations where the onein is clearly allowed to eat meat
and drink wine, the Nodeh B'Yehudah would suggest that he is
chayav in all mitzvos. This is based on a Yerushalmi: if he can be
osek in Olam Hazeh, kal vechomer he can be osek in Olam Haboh.
ii. Nodeh B'Yehudah thinks that the closing of the coffin (which
according to Rashi is ‫ )סתימת הגולל‬is enough to say that the aninus
stops, even if the family would travel to the cemetery. [But, shiva
only begins once the meis is actually buried.]
c. Pitchei Tshuva – he paskins like Nodeh B'Yehudah l’maaseh and doesn’t
let the onenim do mitzvot or eat meat until after the burial. It does not
matter if the chevra kadisha took the meis away or not – the onenim are
still involved in the kevurah.
9. ‫מחלוקת בין רבינו תם ורבינו אשר‬
a. Rabbeinu Tam – when his sister died in another city he ate meat and drank
wine because his sister’s husband was responsible to bury her.
i. Bach (quoted in the Shach) – paskins like Rabbeinu Tam. The only
exception is if there are no aveilim in the city of the meis.
b. Rosh – although this sevara sounds nice, the Gemara never implied such a
heter. Rather, all mourners are onenim until the meis is buried.
i. Shulchan Aruch – paskins like Rosh that a person in another city is
still an onein.

4 – ‫ליקוטי דינים בענין מי שמתו מוטל לפניו‬

10. ‫האם האונן מצטרף למנין‬
a. Be’er Hetev – an onein does not count for a minyan because he is not
chayav in mitzvos. Yet, he quotes the Pri Chadash that if the onein has
relinquished his duties to someone else he is chayav in mitzvos and can
count for a minyan.
b. Shevus Yaakov – adds weight to the Be’er Hetev’s position by analyzing
the Kol Bo’s statement that “an onein may go to shul, but what will he do
there?” If an onein could count for a minyan the Kol Bo’s statement
makes very little sense.
11. ‫גדר פטור של מצוות להאונן‬

4
 a. Pri Megadim (Psicha Koleles) – he quotes Rabbeinu Yonah who says that
an onein is only patur from mitzvos because of kol haosek b’mitzvah patur
min hamitzvah and kavod hameis. It follows that he is only patur from
mitzvos asei (like biyur chametz), not lo saasei, because kol haosek
b’mitzvah patur min hamitzvah only applies to mitzvos asei and not
mitzvos lo saasei.
i. Pri Megadim (Hilchos Sukkah) – there is a qualification: an onein
can’t eat outside the sukkah because he would be violating the
issur asei of eating outside a sukkah.
b. Bikurei Yaakov (the Aruch La’Ner) – an onein is patur in all kum
ve’asei’s, but chayav in all shev ve’al taasei’s (i.e. all mitzvos that don’t
require a maaseh). Therefore, an onein is patur from eating outside the
sukkah (unlike the Pri Megadim) but chayav in taanis because it is a shev
ve’al taasei.
c. Birkei Yosef (Chidah) – an onein is not exempt from gezeirot
miderobonon. Therefore, an onein must wash netilas yadayim because
netilas yadayim is a gezeira mishum serach terumah, but he should not
make a brocha.
i. Pitchei Tshuva – agrees with the Birkei Yosef.
12. ‫דין אונן לגבי הבדלה במוצ"ש‬
a. Rosh – an onein should not make havdala after the burial on Sunday
morning (like the Ri). Since he was patur at the time of the chiyuv he is
patur for the entire week.
b. Maharam (quoted in Rosh) – an onein should make havdala on Sunday
morning. Even though he was patur on Motzei Shabbos, the chiyuv is until
Tuesday.
c. Shulchan Aruch – the onein should make havdala on Sunday morning.
13. ‫האם יש חיוב לאונן להשלים התפילות‬
a. Shulchan Aruch – if an onein missed maariv he should daven shacharis
after the kevurah without a tashlumim. This is because he wasn’t chayav
at the time of maariv.
i. Dagul Mervava – the Shulchan Aruch was only speaking of a case
when the meis died before the zman of maariv. Yet, if the meis
died during the zman maariv, the chiyuv already asserted itself and
the avel would have to do a tashlumim.
ii. Aruch Hashulchan – no, we go after the sof zman. If he wasn’t
chayav at the end of the night there is no chiyuv of tashlumim.
14. ‫בענין ברכת המזון‬
a. Derech HaChayim – if the onein ate a meal and then buried the meis, he
has to say birkas hamazon if it is still within the normal time span of
benching.
b. Aruch Hashulchan – he disagrees with the Derech Chayim: since the
person was patur while he ate there never was a chiyuv to bench. This is
even according to the opinion that an onein has to make up havdala;
havdala is different because the chiyuv spans many days, but by benching
the chiyuv only begins at the time of the eating.

5
 15. ‫ברכת השחר אחר הקבורה‬
a. Magen Avraham – after the burial the avel should daven shacharis (if it is
still the zman), but not say the birchas hashachar (e.g. ‫)שעשה לי כל צרכי‬
because he was patur at the time of the chiyuv.
b. Maaseh Rav – the Gra felt that if one forgot to say the birchas hashachar
one can say them all day long, even into the night. Based on this one
should say the birchas hashachar after the kevurah, just like havdala.
16. ‫מילה‬
a. Shut Maharshal – if the kevurah is the same day as the bris it is permitted
to do the milah before the kevurah. This is because (1) there is a set time
for milah during shacharis, (2) there is a concept of zerizus by milah, and
(3) the milah is a kavod to the meis because a newborn son helps heal the
family from their distress (as seen in the Yerushalmi).
b. Taz – he quotes a statement of the Rama that the milah can’t precede the
kevurah because an onein can’t make brochos. Taz suggests having an
early kevurah and then the bris during shacharis. But, if this is difficult,
the milah should precede the kevurah (as the Maharshal said) and a brocha
should be made by the sandik.

5 – ‫אבילות בזמן שמתו מוטל לפניו‬

17. ‫התחלת דיני אבילות‬
a. Ksuvos 3b-4a – the Gemara deals with a case of a death at the time of a
wedding. The chosson and kallah should quickly get married, then do the
kevurah, then have 7 days of simcha, then have 7 days of aveilus. For the
first 14 days after the bia rishona there is an issur yichud. The Gemara
says that this issur yichud is to counterbalance “the kula”. What’s the
kula? The first suggestion is that it is the bia rishona, but this is rejected
because the aveilus doesn’t start until the burial (there is no issur tashmish
for an onein). The Gemara concludes that the kula was having 7 days of
simcha before 7 days of aveilus.
b. Ritz Geyus – based on Ksuvos 3b-4b which takes for granted that bia is
allowed before the kevurah, it is obvious that no laws of aveilus apply
prior to burial.
i. Rambam – no laws of aveilus apply until the meis is buried. His
proof is that Dovid anointed himself after the death of his son.
c. Ramban – there are some laws of aveilus that start at death, and some start
after the kevurah. The laws that start at death are: tashmish, rechitza,
sicha, eating meat and wine, simcha, haircuts, tefillin, friendly greetings,
melocho, and sitting on top of a bed. What doesn’t apply is the chiyuv to
cover one’s hair, the chiyuv to overturn beds, and the prohibition of
wearing leather. Why are these 3 forbidden only after the kevurah?
Ramban gave two possibilities: (A) these 3 would interfere with the
kevurah and are thus pushed off until later, (B) everything else is a
pleasure and pleasure is assur min haTorah, but these 3 are inuim which
go out of the way to cause pain. Since these are miderobonon we wait for
kevurah.

6
 i. In regards to Ksuvos 3b-4b Ramban says that it is a special kula
for an onein to have bia, and this kula does not apply elsewhere.
There are isurei aveilus before kevurah, but they (or at the very
least tashmish) are only miderobonon.
d. Derisha – he defends the Ramban against the Rambam’s proof from Dovid
Hamelech with 3 possible explanations: (A) it was after the kevurah, and
the reason that it was mutar was that it was a special minhag to anoint
oneself after burial to remove the zuhama, (B) the child was a nefel who
doesn’t engender the laws of aveilus (but he rejects this because we learn
laws of aveilus from Dovid), (C) the laws of aveilus don’t apply to a king
because he should always be seen in his beauty.
e. Shulchan Aruch & Rama – the halacha is like the Ramban, the 3 heterim
apply before the burial, but that’s it.
f. Minchas Shlomo – Rav Shlomo Zalman paskins that the heter of wearing
shoes to kevurah should override the aveilus of Tisha B'av, but since we
have canvas sneakers the onein shouldn’t wear leather.
18. ‫בענין שינה של האונן‬
a. Semachot 11 – an onein can’t sleep on a bed, even if it is turned over.
i. Ramban – this means he must sleep on the floor
ii. Acharonim – the minhag is not like this, possibly because the beds
are different or the non-Jews will make fun of us.
b. Minchat Shlomo – an onein who has done all of the preparations for the
burial which will take place the next day is chayav in krias shema al
hamita because he is temporarily unable to be involved in the kevurah.

6 – ‫המחלוקת אם אבילות מדאורייתא או מדרבנן‬

19. ‫ מדאורייתא או מדרבנן‬:‫נהוגי אבילות‬
a. Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos & Hilchos Avel 2:6 – the Torah tells a Kohen
to be metamei for his dead kerovim, and this highlights the importance of
mourning one’s dead relatives. From here one gets the implication that the
source for aveilus min haTorah is the mitzvah of tumaas kohanim.
b. Rambam Hilchos Avel 1:1 – aveilus mideoraisa lasts for one day, and it is
the day of misa and kevurah. The source is ‫( ואכלתי חטאת היום‬i.e. aninus).
Everything else is miderobonon.
i. Rif – formulates the chiyuv like the Rambam
ii. Behag – the aveilus mideoraisa trumps Yom Tov Sheini which is
only miderobonon.
c. Shut HaRashba – you need both (A) misa, and (B) kevurah, on the same
day in order to be aveilus mideoraisa. The proof is the Gemara which
discusses a parent who died on a wedding day. You have to put the meis in
another room. Why? Because if you buried them you would enter into
aveilus mideoraisa and not be permitted to get married.
d. Yerushalmi Moed Katan – the Gemara tries to say that the 7 days of
aveilus are mideoraisa from the aveilus of Yosef for Yaakov. The Gemara
then says, “‫”ולמידין דבר קודם למתן תורה‬. Most commentators read this as a

7
 question, “are you going to learn a din deoraisa from sefer bereishis?” But
some read it as a statement.
i. Rif – rejects the shitas ha’geonim that all 7 days are mideoraisa
e. Shulchan Aruch – he paskins like the Behag that aveilus yom rishon is
mideoraisa and trumps the simcha of Yom Tov Sheini which is
miderobonon. Yet, there is a minhag that people don’t bury their dead on
Yom Tov Sheini and therefore do not start aveilus.
i. Rama – the reason for this minhag is that some hold there is no
such thing as aveilus mideoraisa, even the first day.
20. ‫ אבל יום ראשון ותפילין‬:‫מהריט"ץ‬
a. Shulchan Aruch – when a person dies his karov can’t wear tefillin on the
first day, but he can wear tefillin on the second day after netz hachama.
Why? We need miktzas hayom kekulo, and the Gemara says don’t wear
tefillin for two days.
b. Shut Maharitatz – based on the Shut Harashba which says aveilus
mideoraisa is only on the day of (A) misa and (B) kevurah, if the meis
wasn’t buried you should wear tefillin.
c. Dagul Mervava – he rejects the Maharitatz because Ramban and others
say that we don’t wear tefillin even for a shemua rechoka [which is when a
person hears about the death and burial after shloshim has passed].
i. Pitchei Tshuva – he favors the Dagul Mervava
21. ‫דין הנחת תפילין לגבי השומע שמועה רחוקה‬
a. Pesachim 4a – a shemua rechoka lasts one day, and miktzas hayom
kekulo.
b. Ramban – by the fact that the Gemara didn’t say to take off tefillin we see
that a person wearing tefillin on the day that he hears a shemua rechoka
should keep wearing his tefillin, but cover them up.

7 – ‫אבילות ביו"ט‬
22. ‫בענין רגל מבטל שבעה‬
a. Mishna Moed Katan 19a – a festival is mevatel the shiva if 3 days have
passed
b. Moed Katan 20a – the Chachomim say that if the beds were already turned
over the shiva is cancelled even if it began 1 hour before the festival
c. Rosh – by the fact that 20a emphasized that the beds had to be turned over
it is evident that shiva is only cancelled if the avel did some of the nihugei
aveilus. We only stop shiva, we don’t make it disappear. This is because
people who decide not to keep shiva will get off free.
d. Shut Meshiv Davar – he deals with the following case: a woman lights
Yom Tov candles early and then finds out that a relative died. Should she
take off her shoes in order to cancel the shiva, or should she sit a full shiva
after the chag? Netziv feels that if she was already noheig aveilus by her
own volition the shiva is cancelled. This is due to the fact that according
Rambam there appears to be no such thing as Tosefes Shabbos or Yom
Tov: she was allowed to do aveilus. Yet, if she asks the Rabbi if she
should take off her shoes the Netziv is not so sure. Lechatchila we paskin

8
 like the Behag that hadlakas neros is the beginning of Shabbos or Yom
Tov.
23. ‫ האם ימי הרגל עולה לו למנין שלשים‬:‫הקובר מתו ברגל‬
a. Moed Katan 19b-20a – if a person’s relative is buried on a regel the person
does not start shiva until after the holiday. Yet, due to the fact that people
pay shiva calls on the regel itself, we subtract the number of days that they
paid shiva calls on the holiday from the shiva that takes place after. Thus,
if the person was buried on the 3rd to last day of the regel the people can
only visit the avel on the first 4 of his “shiva” days. If the person died on
the last day of the holiday, people can only visit the avel on the first 6 days
of the shiva.
i. Also, the regel itself counts towards the days of shloshim because
the laws of shloshim (e.g. don’t shave or do laundry) apply to Yom
Tov itself, even without aveilus, so its ‫אבילות בצנעה‬.
b. Rosh – even though we count the days of Yom Tov for the shloshim, if the
meis died on Sukkos we don’t say that Shemini Atzeres cancels the
shloshim. Why? The person didn’t actively do anything for the shloshim;
he just did what was expected of him on Yom Tov. The shloshim wasn’t
in full effect. Thus, according to the Rosh the only nihugei shloshim that
an avel does are those already applicable to the regel: (1) no haircuts, and
(2) no laundry.
c. Ramban – he disagrees with the Rosh; all of the nihugei shloshim apply
on Yom Tov (the avel can’t attend parties or even wear clean clothes).
i. Why are these nihugei shloshim allowed on the regel? Answer:
Since most of the nihugei shloshim are in effect it is not
recognizable that the person is mourning.
ii. Why doesn’t Shemini Atzeres cancel the shloshim if it is in full
effect? Answer: Chagim only cancel public aveilus, not private.
d. Shulchan Aruch – he paskins like the Ramban that all of the laws of
shloshim apply on Yom Tov.
24. ‫האם דברים שבצנעה נוהג ברגל‬
a. Rambam – there are no nihugei aveilus on Yom Tov, even devarim
she’betzina.
b. Ramban – Rambam’s opinion is based on a faulty version of the Gemara.
Rather, devarim she’betzina are applicable on Yom Tov, and kal
vechomer on Shabbos. Furthermore, Ramban brings straightforward
proofs from the Tosefta and Yerushalmi.
c. Rav Soloveitchik – the machlokes can be explained as follows. Everyone
agrees that the only days that count for shiva are the shiva days
themselves. Yet, are there nihugei shiva on days that aren’t technically
shiva? Rambam says no, but Ramban says yes. According to Ramban
there are chiyuvei shiva that aren’t on the shiva themselves.
25. ‫החשבון של שבעה ושלשים לגבי יו"ט‬
a. Moed Katan 24b – if a person’s relative dies the day before Sukkos, the
day of the kevurah counts as “7” days of shiva, and the days of Sukkos
count as 7, and Shemini Atzeres counts as “7,” and Simchas Torah counts

9
 as one. Thus, by the end of Sukkos, “22 days” of shloshim will have
passed.
b. Shulchan Aruch – Shulchan Aruch paskins like the Gemara: after Simchas
Torah there are only 8 days left of shloshim.
i. Shulchan Aruch also paskins that Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur
cancel shiva and shloshim, but they do not count as 7 days by
themselves. Yet, it doesn’t matter because Yom Kippur will cancel
the shloshim if the person died before Rosh Hashana, and Sukkos
will cancel the shloshim if the person died before Yom Kippur.
c. Shach – he quotes many poskim who say that if the kevurah was on
Sukkos itself we don’t count Shemini Atzeres as 7 days. It only counts as
7 days if the kevurah was before Yom Tov.
i. Iggros Moshe – he is machmir for the Shach because many poskim
assume this way
ii. Tzitz Eliezer – he is not machmir for the Shach because halacha
k'divrei ha'meikel b'avel

8 – ‫מיתה בשעת נישואין‬

26. ‫ ובועל בעילת מצוה ופורש‬,‫ החתן וכלה לחופה‬,‫בענין מכניסין את המת לחדר‬
a. Ksuvos 3b-4a – in the event that a wedding was prepared and either the
father of the chosson or the mother of the kallah died, we move the meis
into another room and proceed with the wedding (including the beilas
mitzvah). The next morning is the kevurah, followed by the 7 festive days,
and then the 7 days of aveilus.
b. Shita Mekubetzes – Why is there a heter of beilas mitzvah, let them have
bia after the 7 festive days? Answer 1: the beilas mitzvah is not only a
heter, it is the reason for allowing the 7 festive days itself. Without the
bia, we wouldn’t be able to say that there is a “festival” that pushes off the
shiva. Answer 2: the chuppah needs to be ‫ראוי לביאה‬. Answer 3: there is no
issur of tashmish because they weren’t oseik b’tzarchei hameis.
i. Shach (Nekudas Hakesef) – he quotes Rabbeinu Yerucham that we
only need the beilas mitzvah if the meis died before the chuppah.
Yet, if the meis died after the chuppah, the aveilus cannot override
the chazaka of 7 festive days. Subsequently, the chosson and kallah
must wait until after the aveilus (total being 14 days) to have the
beilas mitzvah.
c. Shach (Nekudas Hakesef) – the heter of 3b-4a only applied in the times of
the Gemara when the father and mother were vital for the wedding to take
place. However, nowadays, when the preparations and the makeup can be
done by others, there is no heter to allow the 7 festive days before the
aveilus, even for a mother or father. Rather, in every situation there should
be 7 days of aveilus followed by 7 festive days.
d. Kol Torah Publication – the author was getting married on Sunday in his
father-in-law’s charedi hotel (the Pioneer Country Club). His aufruf was in
the hotel, and 250 guests showed up. Unfortunately, his father suddenly
died on Shabbos. Even though the food could have been put into the

10
 refrigerator and there was no cost to rent out the hotel (it belonged to his
father in law), Rav Moshe felt that the wedding should take place on
Sunday and the funeral on Monday. This is because there are losses
besides the food and hall: less people will come to the simcha if it is
pushed off and the chosson and kallah will receive fewer gifts.
Furthermore, he announced to the entire hotel that they were not permitted
to tell anyone who wasn’t there what happened until after the wedding. It
worked, the chosson was asked many times “where’s your father?”
because the outsiders had no clue.
i. Thus, Rav Moshe applies 3a-4b lemaaseh, even in our day and age.
Yet, the application is due to hefsed, not due to the reasons of the
Gemara,
e. Iggros Moshe – in the event that a wedding was planned for Motzei
Shabbos and the kallah’s mother died on Thursday, it is best to do a quick
chuppah, bury the mother, have the “wedding” (i.e. sheva brochos) on
Motzei Shabbos followed by 7 festive days, and then have the 7 days of
shiva. Yet, if for some reason the kallah can’t be tovel, it is ok to have the
wedding in the middle of the shiva because of the hefsed meruba and pru
uravu. In this scenario the aveilus will be followed by the beilas mitzvah
and then the 7 festive days.
27. ‫גדר איסור נישואין לאבל‬
a. Moed Katan 23a – there is a prohibition for an avel to get married during
shloshim for a regular karov, and 3 regalim if the deceased was one’s
wife. Yet, if the husband has children who need to be cared for, or never
fulfilled pru uravu, it is permitted to get married “immediately.”
i. Tosfos – the reason that one must wait 3 regalim after his wife’s
death to remarry is either (A) so that he won’t forget his first wife,
or (B) in order to forget his first wife so that he won't think of her
while he is with his second wife.
b. Ramban – the Gemara’s heter to get married “immediately” means after
shloshim. One may not get married right after the shiva.
c. Rabbeinu Tam (Ksuvos) – one can get married during the shloshim
immediately after shiva.
i. Rosh even quotes Rabbeinu Tam as allowing a woman in aveilus
to get married after the shiva because of her husband’s mitzvah of
pru uravu.
d. Shulchan Aruch – he paskins like Rabbeinu Tam. It is mutar to get
married after shiva and have bia after shloshim if he has fulfilled pru
uravu. But if he hasn’t fulfilled pru uravu or he has small kids then it is
mutar to get married during shiva, and have bia after shiva if he hasn’t
fulfilled pru uravu or have bia after shloshim if he has small kids.
i. Rama adds that if one has small children he can marry his sister-in-
law because she will be a better mother for the kids than anyone
else.
ii. Shach – he quotes the Taz that says the bia is mutar after the shiva,
but also quotes the Bach that says the bia is mutar after shloshim.

11
 The difference between the two is if the husband was mekayem
pru uravu.
e. Ateres Zahav (Levush) – the only time that we apply Rabbeinu Tam’s
heter of marriage within the shiva and shloshim is if two conditions are
present: (1) there was no pru uravu or there are small kids and a sister-in-
law to take care of them, and (2) there is a hefsed mamon (e.g. the
wedding was already planned). If only one of those factors is present the
wedding should be pushed off.
f. Perisha
i. Question: if, according to Rabbeinu Tam, one can get married
during the shiva and do the bia after the shiva, what is the chidush
of Ksuvos 3b-4a (which allows marriage within the shiva if a
parent dies suddenly)?
ii. Answer: Ksuvos 3b-4a is a case where the man already fulfilled
pru uravu, but if there was no pru uravu we allow a wedding for
anyone.
g. Iggros Moshe – in a shaas hadchak situation he permits a wedding to take
place within the shiva if (A) the man never fulfilled pru uravu, and (B)
there is a hefsed mamon.
i. Shut Tuv Ta’am V’Daas (R’ Shlomo Kluger) – the Iggros Moshe
quoted the Meir Nesivim as a source for his psak. The Shut Tuv
Ta’am V’Daas (who lived before Rav Moshe) vehemently
disagrees with the Meir Nesivim and says “the one who permits
this is a big fool and an am ha'aretz and a defiler of Israel…” He
calls the psak a “‫”הוראה הרעה‬.
ii. Rav Simon – yet, Rav Moshe was Rav Moshe and he was meikel.

9 – ‫התחלת האבילות‬
28. ‫התחלת אבילות לקרובים שלא יהיו בבית הקברים‬
a. Moed Katan 22a – Rava told the people of Mechuza that since they only
escort the meis to the city gate and then return home they should begin
aveilus once they reach the gate. [Aveilus normally starts when the meis is
buried.]
b. Rambam – he parenthetically states that the reason that the aveilus starts
immediately is the fact that the kerovim will never know the exact time of
the kevurah.
i. Bach – accordingly, if the burial is in the city and the kerovim
know when the kevurah will take place, they should not start
aveilus until that time.
ii. Ramban – if the kevurah is in the same city the kerovim should
wait until they hear that the kevurah took place. This is because
they haven’t completely relinquished their role in the burial.
c. Iggros Moshe [in a teshuva addressed to Rav Shlomo Carlebach’s father]
– the whole law depends on distance. If the kevurah will be very far away
the aveilus begins immediately. Even the Rambam would agree to this
because the family feels that they are no longer involved.

12
 d. Shulchan Aruch – he cites the Rambam’s language verbatim, but does not
spell out the inference of the Bach.
e. Shulchan Aruch – if a person’s relative dies on Erev Yom Tov and he
sends the meis off with gentiles to be buried on Yom Tov, the aveilus
starts immediately and is cancelled by the Yom Tov. This is true even if
the meis is buried on Yom Tov itself.
i. Dagul Mervava – why is this so? Since a person can’t help in the
burial on Yom Tov it is as if he gave up on the meis.
29. ‫המחלוקת בין הנצי"ב וחתניו ר' רפאל שפירא‬
a. Moed Katan 22a – Rava told the people of Mechuza that since they only
escort the meis to the city gate and then return home they should begin
aveilus once they reach the gate. [Aveilus normally starts when the meis is
buried.]
b. Shut Meishiv Davar – if a person receives a telegram that his relative died
in a place far away, and he will not participate in the burial at all, he
begins aveilus when the body is buried. Until that point he is a regular
onein. The Gemara 22a is only speaking of people who were involved in
the kevurah at one time and then abstained; but the aveilus cannot start
early for those who have no involvement at all. His proof is from the
Shulchan Aruch.
i. Shulchan Aruch – a person who started aveilus when he heard that
his relative was crucified should restart the aveilus when the
relative is buried.
ii. Shut HaRosh – this is the source for the Shulchan Aruch’s law.
The Rosh says that any aveilus that begins before either (A)
kevurah, or (B) yeiush is not real aveilus. He says beginning
aveilus early is useless, just like someone who accidentally begins
aveilus for a person who was sick but didn’t yet die.
c. Rav Raphael Shapiro (in Sdei Chemed vol. 6) – he disagrees with his
father in law and says that the aveilus begins right away, like the Gemara
22a. What about the Shulchan Aruch? The case of the crucifixion is
different because nobody was involved in his burial and the aveilus
wouldn’t kick in until yeiush.
i. When Rav Raphael heard by means of a telegram that the Netziv
died he told his wife to begin her aveilus right away. He paskined
against the Netziv even when the Netziv himself was the meis!
d. Rav Schachter – he quotes Rav Moshe Soloveitchik that we can hold
halacha k'divrei ha'meikel b'avel even in a ‫תרתי דסתרי‬. For example, one
can begin shiva with the Netziv and end shiva with Rav Raphael.

10 – ‫גדול הבית‬
30. ‫ג' תנאים להתיר אחד מן הקרובים שבא באמצע השבעה למנות אם המשפחה‬
a. Moed Katan 21b-22a – if a karov comes to the beis avel during the shiva
he can count with them if (A) he is coming from a makom karov, (B) the
family only counted 3 days (or even on day 7 if they are still being visited
– R’ Shimon), (C) the gadol habayis is in the beis avel.

13
 i. Rif – “makom karov” means the amount that one can travel in one
day, i.e. 40 Mil (28 miles). The idea is that if he would have
immediately heard about the death he would have been able to
come join in the shiva.
1. Nachal Eshkol – bizman hazeh we can extend the distance
much further because of modern transportation. [Yet, this is
only for Hilchos Aveilus where we are generally meikel,
but for aliya l’regel we cannot say that everyone who lives
more than 28 miles away is chayav because you actually
have to walk.]
ii. Ritva – we paskin like R’ Shimon that a person can join as long as
the family is within shiva.
b. Ramban – 21b-22a applies even if the karov who comes to town knew
about the misa before (and started his own aveilus) or just found out about
it now.
c. Rosh – 21b-22a only applies if the karov who comes to town did not know
about the misa. If, however, he did know about the misa and he started his
own aveilus “it is completely illogical to cut his aveilus simply because he
came to his family.”
i. Shulchan Aruch – paskins like the Rosh verbatim
d. R’ Simon – whether we paskin like Ramban or the Rosh is irrelevant for
the law of gadol habayis because it will never apply. According to Rosh,
today, when we have telephones, the karov will always hear about the
death immediately. According to Ramban (see next question), we follow
the family and not the gadol habayis.
31. ‫ ומשפחתו נשאר בחו"ל‬,‫בענין מנין אבילות לבן חו"ל שהלך לא"י לקבור מתו‬
a. Moed Katan 21b-22a – the Gemara asks a question, “what if the gadol
habayis went to the cemetery?”
i. Ramban – this question basically means, “does the gadol habayis
count with the family if he started off with them and then left to
bury the meis?” The answer is yes, the gadol habayis counts with
the family just like a relative who comes to the beis avel during the
shiva.
ii. Rosh – this Gemara has nothing to do with the gadol habayis’
count. Rather, it is a continuation of the previous Gemara, and the
question is as follows: “we know that one of the conditions for a
karov to count with the family even though he came late is if the
gadol habayis is in the house. What is the law if the gadol habayis
went to put up a matzeiva for the meis, is it as if he is out of the
house or is he “in” the house because he has a legitimate reason to
be away?” The Gemara answers that it is as if the gadol habayis is
in the house.
1. Thus, according to Ramban the gadol habayis counts with
the family but according to Rosh this Gemara sheds no
light on the issue.

14
 b. Tosfos HaRosh – he explains his reasoning on two points, both of which
are argued by Ramban. Rosh holds that (A) a karov who comes late to the
beis avel can only count with the family if he didn’t know about the death
and didn’t start counting, and (B) the gadol habayis who went to the burial
does not count with the family when he returns. Why? Once you start
aveilus you can’t switch your count. However, Ramban holds (A) the
karov can switch his count if he knew about the death, and (B) the gadol
habayis can switch his count when he gets back to the family. According
to Ramban you can switch your count midway.
c. Rav Simon (in Sefer Zichron Kesones Yosef)
i. The Shulchan Aruch says that if the gadol habayis goes to the
burial the family counts with him, yet Shulchan Aruch also says
that the family starts counting once they sent the casket off to
burial. This seems to be a stira.
ii. Shach – it’s not a stira because the Shulchan Aruch says like the
Mordechai who says that the family only goes according to the
gadol habayis if the gadol habayis will set up his own beis avel.
But, if the gadol habayis returns to the family’s beis avel he counts
with them.
iii. Rav Simon – although the minhag is to go like the Shach (and
accordingly, a man who goes to Eretz Yisrael to bury his father
and returns will count with his family) Rav Simon has a different
interpretation of the Shulchan Aruch. Rather, the Shulchan Aruch
holds like the Rosh that once you start aveilus you can’t switch
your count. Therefore, the gadol habayis who travels to the burial
would end his aveilus later than the people who remained behind.
1. Rav Moshe apparently paskined (it’s not written in a
teshuva) that the gadol habayis and the family should have
different counts.
iv. Rav Simon – if we paskin like the Rosh then we never need to
know who the gadol habayis is: everyone will always count their
own count no matter what. This is because (A) all kerovim hear of
the death immediately, and (B) the family and gadol habayis would
not change their counts midway.

11 – ‫המאבד עצמו לדעת‬

32. ‫גדר האיסור המאבד עצמו לדעת‬
a. Bereishis 9:5 – Noach is allowed to kill animals, but G-d says “only the
blood of your own lives will I demand an account – ‫אך את דמכם לנפשתיכם‬
‫אדרש‬.”
i. Baba Kama 89b – the Gemara takes for granted that this pasuk is
speaking about suicide. This seems to be the prohibition for
suicide.
ii. Rambam – in his discussion of the different levels of murder, he
quotes this pasuk to teach that suicide is forbidden. The
punishment is misa b’yedei shamayim.

15
 iii. Minchas Chinuch – suicide is forbidden from this pasuk and not lo
sirtzach. This is important because (1) bnei Noach are not
obligated by this law because it wasn’t repeated after Har Sinai,
and (B) we wouldn’t say kim lei b’derabba minei because kim lei
b’derabba minei is only applicable to misa b’yedei adam.
33. ‫אבילות בשביל המאבד עצמו לדעת‬
a. Semachot 2:1-7 – we do not perform any form of kavod for a person who
committed suicide, but we do try and perform “kavod hachayim” which is
nichum aveilim.
1. Also, if we find a person who committed suicide we must
assume that it was not suicide. The only time we can say it
was a suicide is if we hear the person say “I am about to
kill myself”.
2. Also, if a person commits suicide out of fear of a
frightening situation we treat him/her like a normal meis.
ii. Shut HaRashba – when Semachot said “ein misaskin imahen lekol
davar” that only means that we do not tear kriya, deliver a hesped,
or take off our shoes. Yet, we definitely give the person a proper
burial in the proper burial shrouds.
iii. Rambam – we don’t do any aveilus for a m'abed atzmo l'daas.
iv. Ramban – there is aveilus for a m'abed atzmo l'daas. This is what
Semachot means when it says “we stand in a line and say birchas
aveilim,” i.e. there is aveilus. The only time that there is no aveilus
is in a case of a person killed by beis din. What does Semachot
mean when it says “we don’t tear kriya?” That refers to the non-
aveilim tearing kriya for the meis’ kavod, not the aveilim
themselves.
b. Shulchan Aruch – he paskins like Rambam: there is no aveilus, yet people
still line up and give a brocha to the “mourners” because it is kavod
hachayim.
i. Rav Akiva Eiger – what’s the machlokes between Rambam and
Ramban? Rambam views aveilus as kavod hameisim, but Ramban
views aveilus as kavod hachayim. But he leaves this chakira as a
tzarich iyun.
ii. Chasam Sofer – Why does the Shulchan Aruch paskin like
Rambam? Halacha k'divrei ha'meikel b'avel – i.e. there is no
aveilus. But, in a case where the “honor of the family will become
lowly and depressed forever because one of their own forsook his
deeds” we do not go with Rambam. Rather, we will paskin like
Ramban and say that the family should do the aveilus.
c. Aruch Hashulchan – the general rule is that we attribute his suicide to
anything we can because it doesn’t make sense that someone would ever
kill themselves.
d. Besamim Rosh (a forgery of the Rosh quoted in Nachalas Shimon) –
normal cases of suicide, which are due to pain and depression, are not

16
 halachically considered m'abed atzmo l'daas. M'abed atzmo l'daas only
applies to a person who is angry at G-d for philosophical reasons.
34. ‫אסור המאבד עצמו לדעת בשעת השמד‬
a. Midrash Rabbah – one would have thought that the issur of suicide
includes a case of religious persecution like Shaul, but the pasuk says “‫”אך‬
to exclude this case.
b. Daas Zekeinim – there are two ways to read this midrash: (A) one can
commit suicide in the place of religious persecution, and (B) even in a
case of religious persecution one can’t commit suicide. It once happened
that a Rabbi killed some children in order to save them from baptism, and
another Rabbi called him a killer. It was later discovered that if the kids
would have been hidden they might have survived.
c. Gittin 57b – children who were going to be forced to perform immoral
acts committed suicide.
i. Tosfos – they were allowed to do this because they knew that if
they objected they would have been tortured.
d. Ritva – Rabbeinu Tam paskined that if a person is afraid that he won’t be
able to withstand the torture of his oppressors and he will abandon his
faith he can commit suicide. This is the reason that some of the chachmei
tzarfas allowed the killing of children b’shaas hashmad. Yet, the Ritva
still maintains that “these are matters that require great study and
consideration – ‫והם דברים שצריכים תלמוד ועיון גדול‬.”

12 – ‫אבילות למשומד או מנודה‬

35. ‫דין אבילות למשומד‬
a. Shut HaRosh – he paskined a case lemaaseh that people should not mourn
for a meshumad (one who converted to another religion).
b. Tosefta – the tosefta makes two points: (A) there is a machlokes if
children of an ir hanidachas are killed along with the adults, and (B) the
relatives of members of an ir hanidachas only do aninus, they do not
mourn.
i. Mordechai – although the Ri says that there is aveilus for children
whose parents brought them away from Judaism, Rabbeinu Tam
disagrees based on the tosefta. Since there is a machlokes
regarding killing the children but no machlokes regarding aveilus,
it is clear that there is no aveilus for children who have left the way
of Hashem.
c. Hagahos Ashri – Rabbeinu Gershom sat 14 days of shiva when his son
converted.
d. Taz & Beis Yosef – Rabbeinu Gershom sat shiva only after his son died
(because the possibility for Teshuvah had passed), but not when his son
converted.
i. Levush (Ateres Zahav) – the reason that Rabbeinu Gershom
mourned was to relieve his pain, not because there was a chiyuv.
e. Tosfos in Sotah – although the She’iltos says that a Kohen Gadol who
worshipped Avodah Zarah cannot bless the nation or get rishon after he

17
 did teshuvah, Rabbeinu Gershom says he can. This is in order to keep the
path of teshuvah open to the sinners.
i. Rabbi Charlop Shlita– due to his own personal experiences,
Rabbeinu Gershom was extremely sensitive to those who have left
Judaism. He made sure to leave the gates of teshuvah open.
f. Eretz Ha’Tzvi – What’s the status of a meshumad? Rav Schachter heard
from Rav Soloveitchik that there are two aspects to being Jewish. The first
is kedushas Yisrael, and this allows kidushin and gittin to work. The
second is being a part of “Klal Yisrael,” and this allows Yom Kippur to
atone. The way to be part of the klal is to fulfill the four covenantal
conditions that G-d gave to Avraham: (1) belief that G-d is one, (2)
mitzvas milah, (3) no intermarriage, (4) belief that Eretz Yisrael belongs
to the Jews. People who lack even one of these conditions are not part of
Klal Yisrael.
i. Shut Mahari Bruna – he says like Rav Schachter: a Jew who
converts does not have the name “Jew,” even though he is still
Jewish. The nafka mina is when a person takes a neder of benefit
from all “Jews” – he can still benefit from this man.
ii. Kol Tzofayich (R’ Gershuni) – explains the Mahari Bruna that a
mumar is chayav in mitzvos from the perspective of himself and
G-d, yet when we look at him it is as if he isn’t a Jew. He is a
Jewish person who isn’t a Jew.
g. Shach – he disagrees with the Rama and says that there is no problem of
lifnei iver in a case of mesayeah for an idol worshipper or a mumar. We
have no chiyuv to be mafrish them from issurim.
i. Avnei Nezer – the Shach is correct, and there are even some
poskim who permit one to loan money to a mumar with ribbis (he
isn’t “‫)”אחיך‬. This might be based on the Maharal who explains (‫על‬
‫ )דרך מחשבה‬that once Bnei Yisrael entered Eretz Yisrael we became
one “body,” and even if we leave Eretz Yisrael we are still one.
Yet, a mumar who isn’t allowed to live in Eretz Yisrael (because
he is like the goyim who try to seduce us into sin and must be
expelled) has lost his claim to being part of the “body” of Klal
Yisrael. [Amazing!]
h. Semachot – when a ‫ מנודה‬dies he/she deserves ‫סקילה‬. The beis din sends a
messenger to place a rock on the coffin.
i. Emek Brocha & Mordechai – there is no aveilus for a ‫מנודה‬.
36. ‫קבורת משומד‬
a. Iggros Moshe – he deals with a woman who converted to Christian
Science. The question is if she can be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
i. We can’t say that she was “crazy” because even though all forms
of Avodah Zarah are crazy they are still chayav.
ii. We can’t even say that she was chozer b’teshuvah by going to a
doctor [a violation of the faith] because she might have been
forced by her pain. We must maintain the chazaka that she is a
mumar.

18
 iii. She should be cleaned before burial like a normal Jew, but
shouldn’t be buried in the Jewish cemetery.
iv. Yet, since the grave is itself a kapara, she can be reburied in a
Jewish cemetery after 12 months.
1. [Due to the fact that in this particular case there was a
minimal doubt that she was chozer b’teshuvah because she
ripped her burial plot certificate, Rav Moshe allowed her to
be reburied in a Jewish cemetery immediately. She didn’t
have to wait 12 months.]

13 – ‫סעודת הבראה‬
37. "‫"אבל יום ראשון אסור לאכול לחם משלו‬
a. Moed Katan 27b – the Gemara derives from Yechezkel 24 “‫ולחם אנשים לא‬
‫ ”תאכל‬that an “avel yom rishon” is forbidden from eating his own bread.
b. Tosfos & Rambam – the phrase “yom rishon” means that an avel can’t eat
his own bread the entire day, even if he has many meals.
c. Rosh – “yom rishon” means the first meal
i. Pesachim 36 – discusses the laws of the korban pesach and
mentions “yoma kama” which means the first meal, not the entire
first day.
d. Shulchan Aruch – paskins like the Rosh. He explains in the Beis Yosef
that (A) halacha k'divrei ha'meikel b'avel, and (B) the Rosh’s proof is so
strong that the words of Tosfos are “‫”אינו כלום‬.
e. Be'er Ha-Golah – he quotes Rabbeinu Yerucham that there is a minhag
that the community feeds the avel for the entire shiva.
38. ‫סיבת הדין‬
a. Rabbeinu Yerucham – the community feeds the avel because he is so
distraught that he won’t even feed himself. Yet, this only lasts for one
meal.
b. Levush – the community gives the avel emotional support by feeding him.
It is as if they are saying, “we care.”
c. A talmid from June 2004 – the avel shouldn’t feel independent because
independence is a source of pride. On the day of death we try to remove
all pride.
39. ‫האם החיוב רק בלחם‬
a. Aruch Hashulchan – an avel can make his own food as long as it isn’t
bread.
b. Divrei Malkiel – even though the Gemara darshans the word “‫ ”לחם‬and
only mentions bread, the poskim don’t explicitly limit it to bread.
Therefore, an avel can’t prepare fruits and snacks for himself until others
prepare a meal for him.
40. ‫ ואבל שלא שלחו לו אוכל )חו"ש‬,‫)אבל שלא רוצה לקבל הבראה‬
a. Tur – he originally proposes that an avel that fasts on the first day must
still have a seudas havrah on the second. Yet, since the Yerushalmi says
that Rav Ze’ira dictated that his mourners shouldn’t have a seudas havrah,
it seems that it isn’t a chiyuv. “‫”והדבר צריך תלמוד‬

19
 i. Shulchan Aruch – he paskins that an avel who doesn’t want to eat
a seudas havrah is allowed to feed himself, even for the first meal.
b. Taz – the mitzvah is on the neighbors, not the avel. If nobody sent the avel
any food (e.g. he lives in a city without many Jews) he is allowed to feed
himself immediately.
c. Rama – if it becomes night he can eat from his own food. The chiyuv is
only during the day.
41. ‫מיני אוכל שאוכלים בסעודת הבראה‬
a. Semachot 14:13-14 – they would serve cakes, meat, and wine at the
mourner’s house.
b. Baba Basra 16b – when Avraham died Yaakov gave Yitzchak lentils to
eat. Why? Either because (A) they symbolize silence because they have no
“mouth,” or (B) their shape represents the cyclical nature of the world:
people are born and people die.
c. Shulchan Aruch – even if people want to have a grand meal for the seudas
havrah they should first serve eggs or lentils in accordance with Baba
Basra.
i. Rav Akiva Eiger – the avel shouldn’t peel the eggs because it looks
like he is obsessed with the food. Basically, don’t be a glutton.
42. ‫סעודת הבראה ביו"ט‬
a. Tosfos – Rashi says that there is no seudas havrah on a regel, and there
isn’t even one after the regel. The ‫ רי"ט‬disagrees.
i. Shulchan Aruch – the avel should make up the seudah when he
starts shiva.
ii. Rama – the minhag is not to make up the meal.
b. Rambam – when it comes to chol hamoed the avel should have a seudas
havrah, and even tear kriya.
i. Shulchan Aruch – he paskins like the Rambam, but forbids seudas
havrah on Yom Tov sheini shel galuyos.

14 – ‫איסור שאילת שלום ות"ת לאבל‬

43. ‫איסור שאלת שלום‬
a. Yechezkel 24:17 – Hashem tells Yechezkel to silence his groaning, “‫האנק‬
‫דם‬.”
b. Moed Katan 15a – based on the pasuk the Gemara says that an avel is
forbidden to do a sh'eilas shalom. [Whereas all of Yechezkel 24 is learned
negatively for aveilus (i.e. “you can’t do x” means that aveilim must do x),
‫ האנק דם‬is learned positively: you must stay silent.]
i. Darkei Moshe – there are two opinions as to what a “sh'eilas
shalom” is.
1. Rabbeinu Yerucham – a greeting with a bow
2. Rabbeinu Yonah – a greeting that uses the name “shalom”
which is one of the sheimos Hashem.
ii. Rambam – if an avel is forbidden to do a sh'eilas shalom he is
certainly forbidden to do happy things like play with a baby.

20
 Therefore, the requirement isn’t limited to sh'eilas shalom because
one must be in a general state of quietness.
c. Rambam (based on Moed Katan 41b) – the different stages of sh'eilas
shalom are:
i. First 3 days of shiva – an avel can’t give a sh'eilas shalom or even
respond to one. All he can do is say that he is an avel.
ii. Rest of shiva – an avel can’t give a sh'eilas shalom but he can
respond to one. If people know he is an avel they shouldn’t ask
him.
iii. Shloshim – he shouldn’t be asked, but if he is he can respond like
everyone else. He may ask other people.
iv. 12 months – if he is mourning his parents he may not be asked
until after 12 months.
d. Shulchan Aruch brings this Rambam l’halacha
e. Yerushalmi Brochos – some places have an acceptable minhag to do a
sh'eilas shalom to an avel on Shabbos.
i. Shulchan Aruch brings this Yerushalmi l’halacha and quotes the
Rambam that an avel should do a sh'eilas shalom to every person
he sees. This is because refraining from a sh'eilas shalom is a
public form of aveilus and is forbidden on Shabbos.
f. Maharil (difficult to understand) – (A) shaloch manos is a problem of
sh'eilas shalom, and (B) it is a good minhag to not say sh'eilas shalom on
Shabbos to an avel.
i. Rama – he quotes the Maharil as follows: if there is a minhag to
say sh'eilas shalom on Shabbos then that community can send
shaloch manos to an avel, but if the minhag is not to say sh'eilas
shalom on Shabbos to an avel then that community may not send
shaloch manos to an avel.
g. Shut Lev Avraham – when it comes to the issur sh'eilas shalom there are
two halachic factors that come into play. First, during shiva there is a
problem of ‫האנק דם‬. Really we shouldn’t be allowed to say anything to an
avel, but Chazal limited it to sh'eilas shalom and any positive inquiry like
“good morning.” Yet, even though ‫ האנק דם‬disappears after the shiva, there
is still a problem that the avel isn’t in a state of peace (‫)אינה שרוייה בשלום‬.
Therefore, for either 30 days or 12 months we can’t do a sh'eilas shalom,
but we can make positive statements like “hi, how are you?” or “top of the
morning to you.”
44. ‫איסור ת"ת‬
a. Moed Katan 15a – the word “‫ ”דם‬of ‫ האנק דם‬teaches that an avel is
forbidden in talmud Torah.
b. Taanis 30a – the Gemara links the restrictions of Tisha B'av to aveilus. An
avel can’t even teach children because ‫פקודי ה' ישרים משמחי לב‬.
c. Tosfos Moed Katan 21a – Rabbeinu Yaakov [Tam?] wasn’t sure if Taanis
and Moed Katan are two different sources or one unified law: according to
Moed Katan an avel can’t learn any Torah, but according to Taanis an avel
can learn Torah if it isn’t joyful (e.g. Eichah).

21
d. Ramban – although we allow an avel to wear tefillin after the first day (“
‫ )”מצוות שאני‬and even return a sh'eilas shalom after the 3rd, talmud Torah is
forbidden all 7 days. This is because it is ‫משמחי לב‬. Just like tashmish is
forbidden, so too by talmud Torah. Why are mitzvos permitted? If you
don’t do the mitzvah of tefillin there is a bitul mitzvah, but by talmud
Torah there is always the minimum accomplishment of krias shema.
e. Meiri – even though he agrees with Ramban that talmud Torah is
forbidden all 7 days, he allows aveilim to look into seforim that arouse
their hearts to teshuvah (e.g. Mussar) as long as its not the first day of
aveilus. He actually recommends learning Mussar.
f. Simchas HaTorah – there are many possible ways to understand this
prohibition.
i. Maharil – the prohibition is just like Tisha B'av in that speech and
thoughts are forbidden.
ii. Others – an avel has a separate law of ‫ האנק דם‬which doesn’t forbid
thoughts for any day of shiva.
iii. Meiri (and probably Ramban) – ‫ האנק דם‬forbids everything on the
first day, but Torah that doesn’t bring simcha is permitted the next
6 days.
g. Rosh – an avel can learn Shnayim Mikra because there is a chiyuv to
finish with the congregation.
i. Rabbeinu Tam, who would get shlishi every Shabbos, called
himself up to the Torah during his aveilus. He felt that not going up
to the Torah would be a public form of aveilus.
h. Shiurei HaRav – based on the story with Rabbeinu Tam it appears that a
normal avel cannot get an aliya. Yet, he can still hear krias haTorah. The
reason for this is that an avel can learn Torah if it is part of the “‫סדר היום‬,”
but he can’t get an aliya because it is forbidden to teach others Torah.
i. Rav Schachter (in the footnote) points out that the Shulchan Aruch
lets an avel learn, but not teach, the sad portions of the Torah.
i. Yerushalmi – there is an extra heter for a person who is “‫”להוט אחר התורה‬
to learn Torah during aveilus.
j. Shulchan Aruch
i. An avel who is needed by the masses can teach Torah through two
meturgeman. Rama adds that he may answer halachic questions to
individuals who ask, but not teach halachos to a group.
ii. An avel who is a kohen shouldn’t get an aliya, even if there aren’t
other kohanim in the minyan.
iii. An avel can lead a minyan if nobody else can. Rama adds that it is
a mitzvah for the avel to daven shacharis and maariv [not Mincha,
probably because there is no “borchu”] at the beis avel.
iv. An avel can learn sad parts of Torah. There is no chiluk between
the first day and the other 6.
v. An avel shouldn’t cancel his children’s Torah studies.
1. Shach – there is no aveilus for a youngster.

22
15 – ‫איסור רחיצה ותספורת לאבל‬
45. ‫איסור רחיצה לאבל‬
a. Shmuel II 14:2 – After Avshalom kills his brother Ammon, Yoav devises
a plan in order to reunite Dovid with his son. He hires an actress to pretend
to mourn one of her sons who was killed by the other son, and then to tell
her story to Dovid. Dovid will then realize that if she can forgive her son
he can forgive his own son. When Yoav told the actress to “mourn,” he
told her that she can’t anoint herself with oil for many days.
b. Moed Katan 15b – the Gemara quotes our pasuk and concludes that an
avel can’t bathe himself because bathing is included in “anointing.”
c. Taanis 13b – this issur has different categories
i. Whole body – forbidden
ii. Hands, feet, and face – permitted with cold water.
iii. To remove dirt – always permitted (even with hot water and even
by means of anointing and even the whole body).
d. Shulchan Aruch – he quotes Taanis l’halacha
46. ‫המנהג לאיסור רחיצה בימי שלושים‬
a. Mordechai (quoted in the Darkei Moshe) – one is permitted to bathe with
hot water immediately after the shloshim.
b. Maharshal (quoted in the Bach) – bathing is forbidden even during the
shloshim because people who go to bathe usually take a haircut. In order
to prevent haircuts we should stop all forms of bathing.
c. Or Zaruah (also quoted in the Darkei Moshe) – there is a minhag to refrain
from bathing for the entire Shloshim. The reason is either because (A)
people will comb and accidentally pull out their hair, a violation of the
prohibition of getting one’s hair cut, or (B) bathing will lead one to
launder their clothes. [It seems that there are girsa issues involved; reason
(A) seems to be the accepted reading.]
d. Rama – he quotes the minhag to refrain from “all bathing for all thirty
days.”
i. Rav Akiva Eiger – when the Rama uses the phrase “all bathing for
all thirty days” he is actually adding two stringencies: (A) within
shiva all bathing is forbidden, even cold water on one’s hands,
feet, and face, and (B) that this prohibition lasts all 30 days.
e. Taz – he points out that since we paskin that people may comb their hair
during shloshim it would be permitted to take a shower. Yet, according to
the Maharshal the prohibition would still apply.
i. Also, according to Maharshal, the prohibition is only during
aveilus and not chol hamoed. This is because everyone observes
chol hamoed and the masses won’t mistakenly think that haircuts
are permitted.
f. Rambam – he mentions a minhag to refrain from bathing from the
beginning of the shavua shechal bo until Tisha B'av.
g. Shiurei HaRav – Rav Soloveitchik was very fond of comparing the laws of
Tisha B'av to the laws of aveilus in order to place minhagim into “halachic
categories”:

23
 i. The three weeks = the 12 months of aveilus
1. Therefore, one who normally shaves is permitted to shave
during the three weeks, just like by the 12 months where
there is a heter to shave “if your friends make fun of you.”
ii. The 9 days = shloshim
1. Rav Moshe Soloveitchik would allow showers and
swimming during the 9 days because he paskins against the
Rama and allows showering during shloshim.
iii. Tisha B'av = shiva
h. Rav Simon – one can easily question the assumption that all minhagim
need to fall into halachic categories. Also, since most people today shower
for cleanliness it is really mutar to shower during shiva, kal vechomer
shloshim. So there are many ways to be meikel, especially by shloshim.
47. ‫רחיצה בערב הרגל‬
a. Moed Katan 19b – If the 3rd day of aveilus is the day before a ‫ רגל‬it is
forbidden to bathe “‫”עד הערב‬.
i. Rashi – it is forbidden to bathe until the ‫ רגל‬itself. He can take a
cold shower on Yom Tov and a hot one on chol hamoed.
ii. Tosfos quotes an opinion that one is forbidden until Erev Yom Tov
itself, but one can bathe in the afternoon before Yom Tov.
b. Shulchan Aruch – he first quotes Rashi but then quotes Tosfos le’kula.
48. ‫איסור תספורת‬
a. Vayikra 10 – When Nadav and Avihu are killed, Moshe tells Aaron’s
family not to grow their hair long.
b. Moed Katan 14b – the Gemara derives from Moshe’s statement that
normal aveilim must let their hair grow.
c. Moed Katan 22b – this prohibition does not last forever. Normal aveilim
can cut their hair after 30 days, but people mourning their parents must
wait “‫”עד שיגערו בו חבריו‬.
i. Or Zaruah – ‫ עד שיגערו בו חבריו‬does not mean that one’s friends
must make fun of him, but a length that one’s friends would make
fun of him (e.g. they would say “why is your hair so long?”).
d. Nefesh HaRav – Rav Soloveitchik felt that the 3 weeks (and sefira) were
like the 12 months of aveilus. One who normally shaves would be able to
shave every few days because of ‫עד שיגערו בו חבריו‬. Yet, the 9 days are
patterned off of shloshim – the heter of ‫ עד שיגערו בו חבריו‬doesn’t apply.
e. Rama – he quotes the minhag that people mourning their parents must
wait ‫ עד שיגערו בו חביריו‬each time they want to cut their hair, and this lasts
for an entire year.
i. Rav Akiva Eiger – the Or Zaruah clarifies that the length of 12
months for hair is only a minhag/chumra, and that once one
reaches the stage of ‫ עד שיגערו בו חבריו‬he can shave at will. He does
not need to wait 3 months every time he wants to shave.
f. Iggros Moshe – although the Rama says the length of time for ‫עד שיגערו בו‬
‫ חבריו‬is 3 months, that is only when an avel’s friends won't say anything.
In truth, it depends on the person and the locale: in some places it could be

24
 more or less than 3 months. Yet, lechatchila it is best to wait ‫עד שיגערו בו‬
‫ חבריו‬each time an avel wants to shave.
i. He adds that if there is a good reason to get a haircut, it is
permitted if one already waited one ‫שיעור שיגערו בו חביריו‬.

16 – ‫איסור כניסה לבית המשתה ושמחת מריעות‬

49. ‫ אריסותא ופרענותא‬:‫שמחת מריעות‬
a. Moed Katan 22b – in the times of the Talmud there used to be a rotating
cycle in which different friends would host each other. The Gemara
concludes that an avel cannot go to his friends’ meal during the first 30
days of aveilus (Rashi: because he will be forced to make them a meal),
but if he already owes his friends a meal then it is permitted for him to
host a ‫ שמחת מריעות‬immediately.
b. Rambam – he makes 2 points. (A) it is only permitted to pay back a ‫שמחת‬
‫ מריעות‬after the shiva but not during shiva, and (B) if one is mourning a
parent then all types of ‫ שמחת מריעות‬are forbidden, whether one is paying
his friends back or not.
c. Rav Willig – it’s not such a big deal to have someone in the midst of the
12 months over for Shabbos, unless it will be a big “event”.
50. ‫איסור הליכה לבית המשתה‬
a. Semachot ch. 9 – aveilim can’t enter a ‫ בית המשתה‬for 30 days, and if they
are mourning their parents they are forbidden for 12 months. The only
exception is if they go “‫”לשם שמים‬.
b. Yerushalmi Moed Katan 3:8 – aveilim can’t go to a ‫ סעודה‬for 30 days, and
if they are mourning their parents they are forbidden for 12 months. The
only exceptions are “‫ ”חבורת מצוה‬and “‫”קידוש החודש‬.
c. Rosh – he has two extreme opinions in two different places, one l’hakel
and one l’hachmir.
i. Moed Katan – he cites the Rayvid who limits Semachot’s “‫לשם‬
‫ ”שמים‬to a case where the avel is supporting the wedding, e.g. for
an orphan or for a poor person. He also limits the Yerushalmi’s “
‫ ”חבורת מצוה‬to achilas kodshim. Basically, an avel can’t go to a
wedding.
1. Nemukei Yosef – he is like the Rayvid but he extends the
heter a bit further to allow a bris. A bris isn’t a complete
“simcha” because there is pain for the baby.
ii. Yevamos – he cites Rav Yoseph HaLevi who permitted any seudas
mitzvah that wasn’t a “‫”רשות‬. Basically, an avel can go to a
wedding.
1. Tshuvot Maimoni corroborates that Rav Yoseph actually
allowed aveilim to attend weddings.
d. Ramban – he cites a kula that an avel can attend a wedding if he or she
doesn’t eat. Yet, he finds this difficult because the wedding is a place of
happiness and ‫אין אבילות במקום שמחה‬.
e. Mordechai – he cites Rabbeinu Tuvia who allowed aveilim to attend
weddings if they ate with the waiters, even within the shloshim!

25
 f. Beis Yosef – it is permitted to listen to the chuppah ceremony from
outside the wedding hall, but they can’t enter.
i. Darkei Moshe – It is even permitted to enter the wedding hall
when the people are not (A) eating or (B) singing.
g. Shulchan Aruch – an avel is forbidden in simcha; he can’t even play with
a baby during shiva because he will come to happiness.
i. Maharil Diskin – a musician can play music because it is work for
him.
ii. Eshel Avraham – yet, this is only if it is his parnassa.
h. Rama
i. There is a minhag for aveilim to not eat at any Seudah outside the
house for 12 months
ii. He quotes the heter of the Mordechai: an avel can attend a wedding
and eat with the waiters, but he can’t be around when the crowd
sings songs for the chosson.
i. Aruch Hashulchan – he paskins l’kula
i. He extends the leniency of “‫לשם שמים‬,” which the Rayvid said
referred to a case of a person supporting an orphan, to any case in
which the chosson and kallah would be pained if the person isn’t
there. Therefore, any avel that is very close to the couple would be
allowed to go to the wedding, even if they aren’t the financial
backers.
ii. In terms of bris milah, it is definitely permitted for one’s own
children and grandchildren, and we can be meikel in other cases as
well.
iii. An avel can eat with the waiters, even in another room (and not
necessarily another building).
j. Iggros Moshe – a mother or a father of the chosson or kallah can go to the
wedding, even during shiva. This is because the pain that the chosson and
kallah would suffer if they aren’t there is even greater than a financial loss,
and aveilim can attend weddings during shiva in a case of financial loss.
Yet, brothers and sisters aren’t as close as parents and are therefore not
allowed to attend during shiva.
k. Iggros Moshe – a woman is [bedieved] allowed to attend the shul dinner in
order to appease her husband during the 12 months if it will maintain
shalom bayis. Yet, it may even be mutar without the aspect of shalom
bayis because aveilus is kavod for the parents, but her chiyuv is first and
foremost for her husband.
l. Maharam Shik – question: can an avel learn music? Answer: yes, but only
if it is for a profession.

17 – ‫עטיפת הראש וכפיית המטה‬

51. ‫עטיפת הראש בזמן הגמ' ובזה"ז‬
a. Moed Katan 15a – by the fact that Hashem tells Yechezkel ‫לא תעטה על שפם‬
– do not cover yourself to the lips – we see that normal mourners are
required to cover their heads.

26
 b. Yerushalmi Moed Katan ch. 3 – the real requirement is covering the
mouth [Rav Simon – to symbolize silence], yet an avel must also cover his
head so that people realize he is an avel and don’t think he merely has a
toothache. Thus, covering the head is really a tangential requirement.
c. Ramban – an avel should only cover his head when the visitors aren’t
around, not when they visit.
i. Shulchan Aruch – paskins that an avel must cover his head, but
only when there aren’t visitors.
ii. Birkei Yosef – he points out that the only time people wear their
coverings is when guests come, the exact opposite of what they are
supposed to do. Yet, he quotes Rav Chayim Kafusi who deems this
practice correct and says not to change the minhag.
d. Tosfos – we do not cover our heads today due to the fact that the non-Jews
will think we are crazy. This has precedent because the Gemara says that a
guest in mourning doesn’t have to flip his bed because the hosts will think
he is crazy. Also, the only time people wear head coverings is when they
dress up like Arabs as a joke.
i. Rama – he paskins like Tosfos and goes even further: one
shouldn’t change the minhag of not covering one’s head.
ii. Shach – even though we don’t cover our heads, we should lower
our hats down to our eyes.
1. Rav Schachter wears his hat lower during shiva, even when
the guests come.
52. ‫כפיית המטה בזמן הגמ' ובזה"ז‬
a. Moed Katan 15a-b – mankind sinned and turned the tzelem Elokim on its
head. Therefore, when man dies the mourners should flip their beds on
their head.
b. Rambam – for the first day an avel must sit on the flipped bed.
i. Ramban – an avel may sleep on the floor if he wishes, but he must
flip his bed first.
ii. Tur – he quotes his father the Rosh who paskins like the Ramban.
Also, an avel must flip all the beds in his house except for the ones
being used by guests.
c. Tosfos – we don’t flip our beds today due to the fact that the non-Jews
will think we are crazy. This has precedent because the Gemara says that a
guest in mourning doesn’t have to flip his bed because the hosts will think
he is crazy; we are just like “guests”. Also, we don’t flip our beds because
it wouldn’t be so recognizable – there are bedposts that can serve as legs.
i. Shulchan Aruch – quotes Tosfos that there is no chiyuv of flipping
the beds bizman hazeh.
ii. Shach – even though there is no requirement to flip the bed, an
avel can’t sit on benches or even pillows. An avel must sit on the
floor, especially when the visitors come. Yet, since the avel is
mochel, the visitors don’t have to sit on the floor.
d. Yerushalmi Brochos ch. 3 – the source for flipping the bed is the pasuk in
Iyov, “‫ – ”וישבו אליו ְלארץ‬he will sit towards the ground, but not on it.

27
 i. Aruch Hashulchan – based on this Yerushalmi he allows an avel to
sit on a chair or pillow close to the ground. An avel doesn’t have to
sit on the ground itself.
ii. Nefesh HaRav – there is a firm basis to allow people to sit on
chairs above 3 tefachim as long as they are lower than usual.
e. Rav Soloveitchik (quoted by Rav Schachter in Kavod HaRav)
i. If one analyzes all of Hilchos aveilus one will see that there are
two laws of aveilus, one for the avel and one for the beis avel. An
avel has to flip his bed, and all the beds in the house have to be
flipped. An avel can’t say a sh'eilas shalom, and nobody else can
say a sh'eilas shalom in his house. An avel can’t learn Torah, and
talmud Torah is forbidden in a beis avel (but the common practice
is to say mishnayos in the beis avel). Therefore, two friends
shouldn’t give a sheilas shalom in beis avel, kal vechomer speak
words of Torah.
ii. The law of covering one’s mirrors is based on flipping the beds.
Flipping a bed represents the departure of the tzelem Elokim, and
covering mirrors reminds us not to look at our own tzelem Elokim.
It follows that all mirrors should be covered (just like all the beds
that must be flipped), but they should be uncovered for Shabbos.
But, since we say halacha k'divrei ha'meikel b'avel, an avel only
has to cover them in the house that he is in, not any other house.
1. Rav Simon – we shouldn’t change the minhag to say
mishnayos, but the avel should leave the room while the
mishnayos are being said.
f. Rav Ovadya Yosef – he brings many reasons for the minhag to cover
mirrors. One of them is that the beis avel is a place for tefilla, and one
can’t daven with mirrors around. Another reason is that of the Chasam
Sofer: flipping the beds is necessary because the bed is the “connector”
between man and woman which brings life, and so is a mirror because the
woman adorns herself by using it.

18 – ‫אבילות בשבת‬
53. ‫אבילות בערב שבת ובשבת‬
a. Mishnah Moed Katan 19a – whereas Yom Tov doesn’t count for shiva,
and actually stops it, Shabbos counts for shiva and doesn’t stop it.
b. Yerushalmi Moed Katan ch. 3 – the reason Shabbos counts for shiva as
opposed to Yom Tov is that “it is possible to have a ‘shiva’ without a
holiday, but it is impossible to have a ‘shiva’ without a Shabbos.”
i. Tosfos – Shabbos counts for shiva because it is a day of brocha,
but Yom Tov, which is a day of simcha, can’t have any connection
to aveilus.
c. Rambam – the only nihugei aveilus on Shabbos are those that are private,
e.g. not showering or having marital relations. Public aveilus is forbidden:
an avel must wear shoes, flip his bed right side up, greet people (sh'eilas

28
 shalom), and change his clothes (or at least hide the place where he tore
his garment).
i. Shulchan Aruch – talmud Torah is considered a davar she’betzina
and shouldn’t be done on Shabbos. Yet, it is permitted to do
Shnayim Mikra.
ii. Shach – he says those devarim she’befarhesia which are done
during shloshim are permitted on Shabbos during shiva.
d. Moed Katan 27a – the avel flips his bed on Erev Shabbos after Mincha,
and on Motzei Shabbos he flips it back, even for just one more day of
shiva.
i. Pitchei Tshuva – an avel shouldn’t cancel his public aveilus on
Erev Shabbos. If the congregation starts Shabbos early he can
begin with them, but he can’t start Shabbos early to exempt
himself from the devarim she’befarhesia. Also, there is a minhag to
call the avel into the shul before borchu on Friday night.
e. Tur – there is a machlokes if, in a case where a person hears on Shabbos
that his relative died and was buried, if Shabbos can count as the first day
of shiva. Semag says yes, but Rav Yechiel says no. Why not? Because it
isn’t a full day of shiva because there is no aveilus befarhesia.
i. Shulchan Aruch – he paskins that Shabbos can count as the first
day of aveilus.
f. Bach – if the 7th day of shiva is Shabbos, the avel can’t stop his aveilus
early in the day because he isn’t really practicing aveilus. Rather, he must
do the devarim she’befarhesia on Motzei Shabbos for a little bit and then
he is finished his shiva.
i. Taz – no, Shabbos can be the 7th and final day of shiva if the avel is
noheig devarim she’betzina in the morning.
g. Moed Katan 20b – [a shemua kerova is when you find out within shloshim
of a cousin’s death – and you sit a full shiva. A shemua rechoka is when
you find out after the shloshim – all you do is sit shiva for one day.] If a
person hears a shemua kerova on Shabbos, but Motzei Shabbos is the 30th
day, Shabbos itself counts as the entire “shiva”.
i. Shiurei HaRav – Rav Soloveitchik was bothered: we know that if
the avel began shiva for a shemua kerova within 30 days he must
count a full shiva. Yet, if we paskin that Shabbos can count as the
first day of a normal shiva, then why does he only count one day,
by the fact that he already began his shiva let him count a full 7!
His answer is that Shabbos only counts as a day of the shiva
because, as the Yerushalmi says, it would be impossible to have a
shiva without a Shabbos. But, when there is no accompanying
shiva Shabbos does not count. Thus, here there is no shiva so the
Shabbos did not actually begin the shiva – it can therefore count as
the day for the shemua rechoka and not engender a full 7 days.
h. Moed Katan 23a – there are different stages of aveilus for the first few
Shabboses: (1) he stays home, (2) he goes to shul but sits in a different

29
 seat, (3) he goes to his seat but doesn’t speak, (4) he is like any other
person.
i. Rama – nowadays there is a minhag that normal mourners switch
seats for 30 days while people mourning their parents switch for 12
months. Although the Shulchan Aruch does not recommend
moving on Shabbos, the minhag is to even switch one’s seat on
Shabbos.
ii. Gesher Hachayim – “changing seats” means moving 4 amos. The
move must be to a place farther back, not closer to the aaron.
iii. Lev Avraham – there are two ways to view this law: (A) a form of
kavod for the deceased, or (B) a form of kapara by being in
“galus.” Based on these two understandings he says an avel should
change his place in a shiur that he attends regularly.

19 – ‫ניחום אבילים‬
54. ‫ב' חידושים של הרמב"ם‬
a. Shabbos 152a – if a person dies and there are no mourners then ten people
go and sit in the deceased’s place.
i. Rambam – the ten people have to remain there for the entire shiva.
ii. Rayvid – he says the Rambam’s law “has no source.” Did he forget
the Gemara? The Radvaz explains that Rayvid only meant to
disagree with the Rambam’s additional chidush, not the basic law.
b. Rambam – in terms of priorities, nichum aveilim comes before bikur
cholim because nichum aveilim is chesed with both the living and the
dead.
i. Ohr Sameach – the Rambam’s chidush makes sense, except that in
Sukkah 41b the Gemara lists all the activities that one carries a
lulav for, and mentions bikur cholim before nichum aveilim. Thus,
even the Rambam must admit that bikur cholim precedes nichum
aveilim on Sukkos because the chag diminishes the mourner’s
sorrow.
55. ‫האם יש רשות למנחמים לפתוח בדברים לפני האבל‬
a. Moed Katan 28b – the Gemara learns from Iyov that the visitors must wait
for the mourner to speak first.
i. Levush – the reason is that a person can only console a person who
is in pain. The avel must first show that he is in pain. Alternatively,
it is an honor to let him speak first.
ii. Some quote poskim that even a sigh is enough of an initiation to
begin speaking. Also, if the avel doesn’t do anything, one would be
allowed to speak instead of sitting in silence.
56. ‫ניחום אבילים בשבת וביו"ט‬
a. Shabbos 12b – “‫”בקושי התירו לנחם אבילים ולבקר חולים בשבת‬
i. Mishna Brurah – although one can console an avel on Shabbos it
isn’t correct to push off nichum aveilim until Shabbos.
b. Shulchan Aruch (explained by the Be’er Hetev) – on Shabbos one should
console the avel with the words “‫”שבת היא מלנחם ונחמה קרובה לבא‬.

30
 c. Sukkah 41b – the people of Yerushalayim would do nichum aveilim while
carrying their lulav.
i. Shulchan Aruch – it is permitted to do nichum aveilim on Yom
Tov.
d. Minhag – we don’t usually do nichum aveilim on Shabbos or Yom Tov,
but if it is necessary it is permitted.
57. ‫ניחום אבילים בתוך ג' ימים ראשונים של שבעה‬
a. Moed Katan 27b – an avel shouldn’t over-mourn. The first 3 days are
enough for crying.
i. Rambam – he quotes this l’halacha: an avel should cry, but not for
more than 3 days.
ii. Ramban – he connects this Gemara with Avel Rabbasi which says
that an avel can’t go to the Beis Hamikdash in his first 3 days.
Why? The first 3 days are for crying, not for attracting consolers.
1. Based on this some say not to visit an avel during the first 3
days of shiva.
iii. Beis Yosef – he quotes the Raavad that an avel isn’t allowed to
work (“‫ )”איסור מלאכה‬during the first 3 days because he won’t be
able to cry properly – there is a chiyuv to cry. He also quotes the
Yerushalmi that says the soul hangs around the body for 3 days.
58. ‫עד מתי יכול לנחם אבילים‬
a. Shulchan Aruch – nichum aveilim isn’t limited to shiva: one should be
menachem for the entire shloshim, but without mentioning the deceased’s
name. If the deceased was the avel’s parent then one should console him
in this fashion for 12 months, and if the avel lost a spouse, then one should
console for 3 regalim. After the shloshim/3 regalim/12 months one should
not be menachem.

20 – ‫קריעה‬
59. ‫מקור לדין קריעה‬
a. Vayikra 10:6 – Aaron’s family shouldn’t tear their clothes for Nadav and
Avihu – ‫בגדיכם לא תפרעו‬.
b. Moed Katan 24a – Shmuel uses our pasuk (which continues with “‫ולא‬
‫ )”תמתו‬to teach that “any mourner who doesn’t tear kriya is chayav misa.”
c. Ramban – this drasha is an “‫ ”אסמכתא בעלמא‬and the “chayav misa”
warning means “don’t go against the Rabbis”. The whole thing is
miderobonon.
i. Ramban quotes and disagrees with the Rayvid who feels that kriya
is mideoraisa.
60. ‫קריעה מעומד ומיושב‬
a. Moed Katan 20b-21a – the Gemara discusses the source of the law that
kriya must be done standing up. It first tries to link it to Iyov (who stood
up and then tore his garments) but ends up linking it to Dovid who stood
up when he heard that Avshalom killed all of his children (when in fact
only Amnon was killed).

31
 i. The Gemara also mentions how Ameimar re-tore his garment after
he realized that he was sitting.
b. Rosh – he quotes different rishonim who wonder if one fulfills the
requirement of kriya while sitting. Rayvid isn’t sure, but the Ritz Geyus
says one isn’t yotzei, even bedieved.
c. Shulchan Aruch – he paskins like the Ritz Geyus: one isn’t yotzei with a
kriya that was done sitting down.
61. ‫חילוקי דינים בין אבילות לאביו ואמו ובין אבילות לשאר קרובים‬
a. Moed Katan 22b – there are many differences between mourning for one’s
parent and mourning for another relative. Most of them have to do with
kriya.
i. For shaar kerovim – one tefach, for parents – until the heart is
uncovered.
1. Yerushalmi Moed Katan ch. 3 – the reason one has to
uncover the heart for one’s parents is that the mitzvah of
kibud is gone. [A major aspect of kibud av va'eim is
attitude, i.e. the feeling of the heart.]
2. Shach – the minhag is to tear on the left for parents and on
the right for shaar kerovim.
ii. For shaar kerovim – only tear the outermost garment, for
parents – tear every garment, even if he is wearing 10 layers.
1. Exception: the “‫ ”אפיקרסתו‬doesn’t need to be torn [See
question #62].
iii. For shaar kerovim – has the option of tearing past the neck slit,
for parents – must tear past the neck slit.
iv. For shaar kerovim – can loosely sew the garment after shiva and
sew it completely after shloshim, for parents – can loosely sew
the garment after shloshim but can’t ever completely sew it.
1. A woman is allowed to sew up her garment immediately
because of kavod.
v. For shaar kerovim – can tear with a utensil, for parents –
aveilim must use their hands.
vi. For shaar kerovim – tear "‫"מבפנים‬, for parents – tear "‫"מבחוץ‬.
1. Ramban – there are two ways to understand "‫ "מבפנים‬and "
‫"מבחוץ‬: the avel should tear in a closed room or a public
place, or the avel should tear his garment from the inside or
from the outside. Ramban prefers the second explanation.
2. Shulchan Aruch – he combines both pshatim: for shaar
kerovim tear in private from the inside, for parents tear in
public from the outside.
b. Moed Katan 20b – if one couldn’t tear kriya during shiva for shaar
kerovim one doesn’t tear after shiva. However, if one is mourning one’s
parents he should tear even after shiva because of kibud av va'eim.
i. Ramban – although Rambam says that one can only tear during
shloshim, the Behag is correct that there is no “expiration date”
that limits a person from tearing kriya for his parents.

32
 c. Shulchan Aruch – if an avel changes clothes during shiva, he must tear
kriya again if he is mourning his parents.
62. “‫”אפיקרסתו אינו מעכבת‬
a. Moed Katan 22b – a person mourning his parent must cut every layer of
his clothing, but the Gemara says that ‫אפיקרסתו אינו מעכבת‬.
i. Rambam – this is an undergarment, a “‫”בגד זיעה‬.
ii. Rashi – this is the scarf
b. Rosh – he quotes the Rayvid who says that lechatchila one should tear the
‫אפיקרסתו‬, but then quotes the Ramban who doesn’t view it as a lechatchila.
c. Shulchan Aruch – he brings two opinions of what an ‫ אפיקרסתו‬is: (A)
undergarment, (B) a cape.
i. Taz – the bottom line is that any item of clothing that a person
doesn’t normally wear is considered an ‫ אפיקרסתו‬and needn’t be
torn.
ii. Nekudas Hakesef – he has a chumra: if a person would normally
wear something outside in the street it isn’t an ‫ אפיקרסתו‬and must
be torn.
63. ‫חיוב קריעה בשעת יציאת נשמה‬
a. Moed Katan 25a – Rav Shimon ben Elazar says that a person must tear
kriya if he witnesses another person’s death. He says that it is similar to
the law that one must tear kriya if he witnesses a sefer Torah burn.
b. Shulchan Aruch – we tear kriya for both men and women. Also, even if it
was known that the person sometimes did aveiros out of desire, we still
tear.
c. Pnei Baruch – he quotes the Gesher HaChayim that there is a minhag not
to tear kriya at the time of death. Since people don’t want to witness the
death because of the chiyuv kriya, it is more important for the deceased to
have people around who don’t do kriya than to have nobody at all.
i. Also, we don’t tear on Shabbos. Some say to tear on Motzei
Shabbos, but others disagree.
ii. If a witness didn’t tear until the burial there is no more chiyuv
whatsoever.
64. ‫קריעה ביום שביעי של אבילות‬
a. Shulchan Aruch – if a person doesn’t have a cloak, he should tear when he
gets one. Yet, for shaar kerovim this is only within shiva, but for parents
one should tear whenever he gets it, even many decades later.
b. Rav Schachter [packet 21 p. 43] – what is the law if you get new clothes
on the 7th day of aveilus? There are two types of kriya. There is kriya that
is done at the time of anguish, and there is kriya that is done because of
kibud av va'eim. The Gemara says that ‫ – קריעה לחוד ואבילות לחוד‬but this
only applies to the kriya of anguish (e.g. there is kriya on chol hamoed
even though there isn’t aveilus). But, the kriya of kibud av va'eim stems
from the nihugei aveilus and therefore gets the din of ‫מקצת היום ככולו‬. So,
even though you got a new cloak on the 7th day you don’t tear kriya.
65. ‫גדרי קריעה על ירושלים ומקום המקדש‬

33
 a. Shulchan Aruch – when a person sees the cities of Yehuda he tears kriya,
and then tears again for Yerushalayim, and then again for the Beis
Hamikdash. Each tearing should be a tefach, and he shouldn’t permanently
sew up the tear.
i. Magen Avraham – he should tear on the left in order to expose his
heart.

21 – ‫שונות‬
[Question #66 begins with shiur #22]
• ‫הלנת המת‬
o Devarim 21:23 – there is both a lav not to let a person killed by beis din
hang overnight, and also mitzvas asei to bury him during the day. ‫לא תלין‬
‫נבלתו על העץ כי קבור תקברנו ביום ההוא‬.
 Sanhedrin 46a – the prohibition of leaving a body out applies to all
people, not just those who were killed by beis din. Yet, if one
needs to get a coffin or burial shrouds (“‫ )”לכבודו‬it isn’t a problem
to wait.
 Semachot ch. 11 – it isn’t a problem to wait for relatives to come
from distant places.
o Ramban – in Eretz Yisrael there is an additional lav of ‫ולא תטמא את אדמתך‬
by leaving a body overnight.
o Radbaz – the issur of ‫ לא תלין‬only applies until the morning, just like ‫לא‬
‫ תלין פעולת שכיר עד בקר‬by a wage laborer. Therefore, a person may
intentionally wait to bury the meis until just before dawn.
 What happens if the meis dies late at night? The lav of ‫לא תלין‬
doesn’t apply until the next morning (which is 25 hours away).
 What about the mitzvas asei to bury the person during the day?
That was only for the harugei beis din.
o Iggros Moshe – if the cemetery charges more money on secular holidays
(e.g. New Year’s, Memorial Day, etc.) you can’t push off the funeral. ‫לא‬
‫ תלין‬is a prohibition, and one must forego all of his money before violating
a mitzvas lo sa'asei.
o Baba Kamma 82b – there is an ‫ איסור הלנת המת‬in Yerushalayim
 Shita Mekubetzes – wait, there is an ‫ איסור‬in all places! Rather, this
means that even when it is ‫ לכבודו‬there is still an ‫איסור הלנת המת‬.
• ‫קבורה בקרקע‬
o Shulchan Aruch – it is best to bury someone directly in the ground without
a coffin. It is a violation of ‫ לא תלין‬to leave a person in a coffin above
ground.
 In Eretz Yisrael they bury the deceased in a tallis. In ‫ חו"ל‬some
people covertly remove the bottom of the coffin [it’s against the
law].
o Iggros Moshe – it is an “‫ ”איסור גדול‬to bury a person in a mausoleum
because (A) ‫הלנת המת‬, and (B) it takes longer for the body to decompose,
and the decomposition is a ‫ כפרה‬for the ‫מת‬.

34
• ‫הספד‬
o Rosh – one is supposed to exaggerate during a eulogy. How? One should
embellish the person’s good qualities, but not make up new good qualities
altogether.
• ‫אמירת קדיש‬
o Rama – a person should say kaddish for his parents, but it is more
important that he daven for the congregation.
o Menoras Ha’Meor – he quotes the Tanchuma that describes how Rebbe
Akiva found a person wandering in a cemetery who was suffering in hell,
and then Rebbe Akiva taught his kid the aleph beis and then Torah, and
when the kid prayed for the congregation and said “‫ ”ברכו את ה' המברך‬the
father’s suffering ended.
• ‫איזה מתים מתאבלים עליהם‬
o Moed Katan 20b – aveilus min haTorah applies to anyone that a kohen
should be metamei for. Who is that? A wife, father, mother, son, daughter,
sister, brother, and miderobonon a half-brother from any side, and a
married half-sister from the father and even a non-married half-sister from
the mother.
o Rambam – mourning a spouse is “‫”מדבריהם‬
 Kesef Mishnah – Rambam is not saying that mourning a spouse is
miderobonon, rather it is not explicitly stated in the Torah like the
other kerovim.
o Rav Akiva Eiger – if a person is in the process of divorce he doesn’t
mourn his wife, even though they are still “married”.
o Moed Katan 20b – if someone who you would sit shiva is sitting shiva you
must join them. For example, if Reuven would have a chiyuv to sit shiva
for Shimon if Shimon died, and Shimon is sitting shiva for Levi, then
Reuven must sit shiva with Shimon for Levi. Yet, this is only when
Shimon is around.
 Rama – since everyone is mochel one should not perform this
aveilus: "‫"וכל המחמיר בזה אינו אלא מן המתמיהים‬.
• ‫אמירת תחנון והלל בבית אבל‬
o Shulchan Aruch – there is a minhag not to say tachanun in a beis avel.
 Mishna Brurah – why? There is enough ‫ מדת הדין‬already, we don’t
want to arouse any more.
 Also, if the avel goes to shul to hear krias haTorah the
congregation still says tachanun, but he does not. The petur
tachanun only applies to other people when they are in the beis
avel.
o Mishna Brurah – we don’t say ‫ הלל‬in a beis avel. If it is ‫ חנוכה‬or any other
day in which full ‫ הלל‬is said the minyan has to say it when they get home.
Yet, if it is Rosh Chodesh or any other day when ½ ‫ הלל‬is said the minyan
does not have to repeat it when they get home.
• ‫איסורים לאבל‬

35
 o Shulchan Aruch – an avel can’t do any work for the first 3 days, but he
can work for food in private after that. The Shulchan Aruch adds that ‫אמרו‬
‫חכמים תבא מארה לשכיניו שהצריכוהו לכך‬. In regards to a ‫ דבר האבד‬he can have
others work for him after 3, but he can’t do it.
 Rama – he can do the work for a big loss that others can’t help him
with, even within the first 3 days.
o Shulchan Aruch – an avel can’t have ‫תשמיש המטה‬, but all other ‫הרחקות‬
found by Hilchos Niddah don’t apply. Yet, they still shouldn’t sleep in the
same bed.
 Rama – they should be machmir for ‫חיבוק ונישוק‬.
o Shulchan Aruch – an avel can’t cut his nails during shloshim. Yet, a
woman who needs to cut her nails before the mikvah can ask someone else
to cut them for her.
• ‫יציאה מביתו‬
o Shulchan Aruch – an avel can’t leave the beis avel for the first 3 days, but
he can go to another funeral after that.
 Rama – the minhag is not to go to another funeral, ‫שב ואל תעשה‬.
 Shach – but one is allowed to leave the beis avel for a karov’s
funeral.
o Shulchan Aruch – the avel should daven at home unless he needs to hear
krias haTorah.
o Rama – an avel can leave for a ‫מצוה שא"א לעשות ע"י אחרים‬, e.g. he is the
only mohel in the town.
• ‫מקצת היום ככולו‬
o Shulchan Aruch – once the visitors leave on the 7th day the aveilus ends,
‫מקצת היום ככולו‬.
 Rama – even if no visitors come, the time that they normally leave
is when the aveilus ends. This is normally after shul.
o B’Ikvei Hatzon – Rav Schachter quotes Rav Soloveitchik that we only say
‫ מקצת היום ככולו‬by non-calenderical countings like aveilus which isn’t
dependent on the days of the month. We don’t say it by Shabbos or Yom
Tov, and not even Niddah because niddah has no action to be done (a “
‫ )”ניהוג‬so the counting of the full days themselves is all there is. Similarly,
by shloshim there are no ‫ניהוגים‬, there are only ‫’שב ואל תעשה‬s that give off
the impression of being a wreck. Also, we don’t say ‫ מקצת היום ככולו‬at the
end of 12 months because the count is based on months, not days.

22 – ‫קביעת מות בהלכה‬

[Answers 66-70 are based on the notes of Jonathan Hefter. I have not yet looked at all of
the sources inside.]
66. ‫מקורות לקביעת זמן מות בהלכה‬
a. Bereishis 7:22 – by the flood the Torah says that all living things died, "‫כל‬
‫"אשר נשמת רוח חיים באפיו‬.

36
 i. Yoma 85b – the Gemara discusses searching through debris on
Shabbos to find survivors. According to Rav Papa, once a person’s
breathing has stopped there is no more permission to dig.
ii. Rambam – paskins like Rav Papa, once there is no breath there is
no life.
b. Mishna Ohalos – the Mishna says that “‫”אדם אינו מטמא עד שתצא נפשו‬. It then
says the same rule applies to animals. What is the law if an animal is
decapitated but it still moves? It is tamei, even though it is still moving.
c. Chullin 21a – if somebody’s spinal cord and most of the muscle associated
with it becomes severed, that body is ‫מטמא באהל‬, even if the body still
moves.
i. Rambam – the person is dead, even though his other organs are
still functioning.
ii. Ramban – no, the chidush of the Gemara is that even though he is
alive he is metamei.
d. Chasam Sofer – breathing is life, if there is no breath there is no life. [But,
elsewhere in the ‫ תשובה‬he says the meis needs to be like a “stone,” which
implies that there can’t be any movement. Tzarich iyun.]
e. Rav Moshe – if a person is still breathing than a heart transplant is a
double ‫ ;רציחה‬the first person loses a heart and the second person won’t
survive anyway. But, if the person isn’t breathing then it’s only a single
‫רציחה‬. [But years later the recovery rate got much better.]
i. In another ‫ תשובה‬he says that brain death means loss of breath. So,
loss of breath is death.
ii. Rav Tendler, Rav Reuven Feinstein, Rav Dovid Feinstein, and Rav
Zalman Nechemya Goldberg all hold that brain stem death (i.e.
there is no breathing) is death.
f. Chacham Tzvi – there was a case where someone thought they found a
chicken without a heart, but it could have been that the cat ate the heart.
Chacham Tzvi ruled it to be a treifa because it can’t live without a heart.
This implies that life is dependent on the heart.
i. Dr. Reichman – the Chacham Tzvi believed that the heart was one
of the respiratory organs, like the lungs. Since he thought that the
heart was associated with breath he could say that the loss of a
heartbeat is death. But, since we now know that the heart is not a
respiratory organ, we should not assume like the Chacham Tzvi.

24 – ‫טיפול בחולה הנוטה למות‬

67. ‫דיני גוסס‬
a. Rambam – there is no misas beis din for a rotzeach al yedei grama, e.g. a
person who hires a “hit-man”. However, starving someone to death is
considered retzicha.
b. Shilte Giborim – moving something that is maintaining life (‫ )הסרת המונע‬is
ok, but actively changing the situation (‫ )מעשה בגופו‬is forbidden. For
example, if there is a person who is only alive because of an external
factor like a person chopping wood next door, one is allowed to stop the

37
 wood chopping. However, one isn’t allowed to move the sick person’s bed
because that is actively changing his situation.
i. Rama – paskins like the Shilte Giborim.
ii. Rav Moshe – yet, this heter only applies when the sick person is in
great pain.
c. Ksuvos 104 – when Rebbe Yehuda Hanasi was sick the talmidim davened
that he get better. Rebbe’s maid thought that since Rebbe was suffering it
would be better for him if he died, so she distracted them from their
prayers. Rebbe died.
d. Ran – “‫”פעמים שצריך לבקש רחמים על החולה שימות‬
i. Tzitz Eliezer – he wonders about this, who said the maid was
right?
ii. Rav Simon – even if the maid was correct, there is a big difference
between praying for someone to die and stopping others from
praying. She might have crossed the line.
e. Tosfos niddah – on Shabbos we can be mechalel Shabbos for a ‫גוסס‬, even
though he’s going to die. Why? ‫אין הולכין בפקוח נפש אחר הרוב‬.
i. Shut Beis Yaakov – only mechalel Shabbos if there is a chance of
getting better. But by a regular person they are mechalel even for
‫חיי שעה‬.
f. Karyana D’Igrisa (Rav Yaakov Kanievsky) – there are cases where it is
permitted to sit back and let a person die. If there is a lot of pain, and any
surgery will only help for a little longer, ‫ שב ואל תעשה‬is appropriate.
i. Nishmas Avraham – he quotes Rav Shlomo Zalman who
distinguishes between routine and non-routine treatments. Routine
(e.g. insulin, oxygen, blood transfusions) must be done, but non-
routine (e.g. surgery) is optional.
ii. Rabbi Bleich – he rejects the distinction of Rav Shlomo Zalman
because it is a “Christian idea” to distinguish between artificial and
natural means of life support. Life is an objective value that must
be pursued at all costs – it’s not up to the doctors or the patient to
decide.
g. Rav Chaim Dovid HaLevi (in Techumin) – removing the respirator is just
like removing the wood-chopper and should be permitted in a case of pain.
i. Rav Moshe – he disagrees. If the person can breathe on his own
you must keep the respirator going because he needs help, but if
the person can’t breathe one don’t have to give him a new tank of
oxygen.
h. Rav Schostac (in RJJ) – quotes Rav Schachter that a terminally ill patient
in severe pain may refuse routine treatment. This is learned from the laws
of ‫ – השבת אבידה‬there is no chiyuv to return a lost object if it will hurt the
person.

23 – ‫אדר ראשון אדר שני‬

68. ‫ אדר שני‬,‫אדר ראשון‬

38
 a. Megilla 6b – there are 3 opinions concerning the mitzvos of Purim: (A)
lechatchila one should do everything in 2nd month but bedieved one is
yotzei in the first month for everything except megilla, (B) lechatchila do
everything in 1st month but one is still yotzei bedieved in the 2nd month,
(C) everything must be done in the second month, even bedieved.
b. Nedarim 63a-b – the Gemara discusses what a person means when he
takes a neder “‫”עד אדר‬. Rebbe Meir says ‫ אדר שני‬and Rebbe Yehuda says
‫אדר שני‬. Abaye says that even Rebbe Meir believes that ‫ אדר ראשון‬unless
the person didn’t know it wasn’t a ‫( שנה מעוברת‬the person really meant a
full year).
i. Rambam – he paskins that ‫ אדר סתם‬means ‫ אדר שני‬by Nedarim.
ii. Rosh – he paskins like Rebbe Yehuda that ‫ אדר סתם‬means ‫אדר‬
‫ראשון‬.
c. Terumas Hadeshen – unless the person died in ‫ אדר שני‬the yahrtzeit should
be commemorated in ‫אדר ראשון‬. Why? ‫ אדר ראשון‬is real month, "‫אין מעבירין‬
‫"על המצוות‬.
i. Mahari Vayil – although the Mahari Mulin says to fast on both
months, the Mahari Vayil says to only fast in the 2nd month.
ii. Maharil – we fast for Moshe Rabbeinu on ‫ז' אדר ראשון‬, even though
he died on an ‫אדר סמוך לפסח‬. Thus, the main ‫ אדר‬is ‫אדר ראשון‬. What
about the machlokes in Nedarim? That is only ‫תלוי בלשון בני אדם‬.
iii. Shulchan Aruch – follows the Mahari Vayil – 2nd month
iv. Rama – follows the Terumas Hadeshen – 1st month, but mentions
that some are machmir to fast for both months.
1. Magen Avraham & Beur HaGra – by the fact that ‫מגילת‬
‫ תענית‬says ‫ אין בין אדר ראשון לאדר שני אלא מקרא מגלה בלבד‬he
thinks that the two months are similar in every way –
including fasting. Both months are ‫אדר‬.
v. Magen Avraham – but since yahrtzeit is a minhag, you might only
be mekabeil to fast one day, not two.
d. Iturei Megilla – for a bar mitzvah we need 13 full years. The Magen
Avraham says always wait until ‫אדר שני‬, but the Levush says that if the
boy was born in ‫ אדר ראשון‬one needn’t wait until the 2nd month.

25 – ‫טומאת כהנים‬
69. ‫טומאת כהנים וטומאת עכו"ם‬
a. Yevamos 60b-61a – a goy isn’t metamei in an ohel because they aren’t “
‫”אדם‬, but they are metamei ‫מגע ומשא‬.
i. Rambam – he adds that a goy doesn’t become tamei meis.
b. Ohalos – you don’t have to worry of tumaas ohel for a city of ‫ עכו"ם‬that
was destroyed because the animals will eat them. This implies that if there
were no animals there would be tumaas ohel!
c. Baba Metzia 114a-b – Rabbah bar Avuha bumped into Eliyahu in the
cemetery and says, “Eliyahu, you’re a kohen!” Eliyahu responds, “I hold
like Rav Shimon bar Yochai who says there is no tumaa for an akum.”

39
 i. Tosfos – really Eliyahu holds that there is tumaas ohel for a goy,
like the Mishna in Ohalos. Why did he go into the cemetery? He
knew that there was a ‫ חלל טפח‬in each grave.
1. Maharam MiRutenberg – a kohen should be machmir for
this Tosfos.
ii. Yereim – he holds like Rav Shimon bar Yochai, goyim do not
cause tumaa.
d. Shulchan Aruch & Rama – ‫ מעיקר הדין‬we hold like Rambam, but we
should be machmir.
70. ‫ חרב הרי הוא כחלל‬,‫ טומאה בחבורין‬,‫)פרטי דיני טומאת כהנים )סוף טומאה לצאת‬
a. Vayikra 21:1-3 – there are 3 ways to become tamei meis: ‫ באהל‬,‫ משא‬,‫מגע‬.
i. Rambam – ‫ משא‬is only ‫מפי השמועה‬.
b. Shulchan Aruch – tumaa spreads from one room to the next as long as
there is a ‫ טפח‬by ‫ טפח‬opening.
i. Shach – this law is only miderobonon.
ii. Pri Megadim – the shach is wrong.
1. Chasam Sofer – no, the Shach only felt that ‫סוף טומאה לצאת‬
is miderobonon, not ‫אהל המשכה‬.
c. Semachot ch. 4 – there is an equation that a kohen only gets malkus if he
became tamei for a meis that a nazir would have to shave for.
i. Terumas Hadeshen – kohanim used to not stand under the awning
of the city gate. Why? Sof tumaa latzeis.
1. Rav Simon – there are 2 chidushim here: (A) ‫סוף טומאה‬
‫ לצאת‬extends beyond the house, and (B) the kohanim are
‫ מוזהר‬in it even though it doesn’t apply to a nazir.
ii. Rabbeinu Tam – he questions the whole premise of Semachot
based upon a case of ‫רביעית דם‬.
d. Nazir 42b – there is a machlokes if a kohen/nazir who became tamei can
go to a cemetery and become tamei again. The conclusion is that one can
if he is holding on to the original tumaa (‫)טומאה בחבורין‬.
i. Rambam – he paskins that there is no further issur to become tamei
as long as it is ‫טומאה חבורין‬.
ii. Rayvid – no, it is allowed even without ‫טומאה חבורין‬.
1. Rav Akiva Eiger – according to Rayvid there is nothing
wrong with kohanim today going to the cemetery.
2. Dagul Mervava – no, there is a lav to be metamei, there just
isn’t malkus
e. Nazir 53b – if a sword touches a meis it becomes an av hatumaa just like
the meis itself.
i. Tosfos – Rabbeinu Tam says that a kohen is ‫ מוזהר‬on a ‫חלל חרב‬, but
Rabbeinu Chayim Cohen says no. Why? If this applied to kohanim
then every kohen wouldn’t be allowed to enter a house because
metal is in it.
ii. Shulchan Aruch – the minhag is to be meikel because a nazir
doesn’t shave for this tumaa.

40
f. Rav Goren – he combines the heter of ‫ חרב הרי הוא כחלל‬with ‫טומאה חבורין‬
according to the Rambam in order to allow kohanim to go to anatomy
class in medical school. A kohen can be metamei with a metal watch
lechatchila, and then there is no further issur to touch anything else. The
chidush is that ‫ חבורין‬would apply between a meis and a ‫חלל חרב‬.
i. Rav Bleich – no, the whole din of chiburin is that once you were
mechalel there is no further chilul, yet here there was no such first
chilul!
ii. Rav Moshe – says kohanim shouldn’t go to medical school, it’s not
pikuach nefesh.

41