In Search of Fatima: A Palestinian Story

by

Ghada Kharmi

Christine A. Kelly
ENGL480
Intercultural Autobiography
Fr. Leigh, S. J.
March 20, 2003

Christine A. Kelly
ENGL480 Intercultural Autobiography
Fr. Leigh, S. J.
March 20, 2003
In Search of Fatima: A Palestinian Story by Ghada Karmi

In Search of Fatima tells the story of Ghada Karmi, a woman who has spent her
life searching for her identity. In this sense, it can be compared with both Maxine Hong
Kingstons The Woman Warrior and The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Like Kingston,
Karmi is an eastern-thought stranger in a western world. Like Malcolm X, Karmis
regular loss of role models and her gradual awakening to the prejudice around her play
important parts in shaping her identity. Yet, unlike Malcolm X and Kingston, Karmi
never reaches a satisfactory resolution of her own identity. By comparing and
contrasting Karmis story with those of Malcolm X and Maxine Hong Kingston, one can
better understand the complexities of a search for identity in the midst of cultural
confusion and loss.
To best understand Karmis autobiography, one must first consider the political
circumstances and cultural influences which have indubitably shaped it. When Karmi
was born in 1939, the British had been occupying Palestine for nearly two decades
under the Mandate for Palestine. During this time, Jewish immigration to Palestine
increased the ratio of Jews to indigenous Arab peoples from one to ten in 1918 to onehalf in 1947. By 1948, a Jewish majority had been reached (Said 242). Also during this
time, the hostile operations of the Israeli Defense Forces combined with the terrorist
actions of the Irgun and the Stern Gang prompted an exodus of over 70 percent of the
native Palestinian population (Hitchens 74). On May 10, 1949, with only 130,000
Palestinian Arabs remaining in the area (Said 242), Israel was named a state. Control

of the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, which were not included in the Israeli state, was
passed to Jordan and Egypt respectively (Said 246). After the June War of 1967
between the Arab states and Israel, Israel occupied both the West Bank and the Gaza
Strip, transforming the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO) into an effective,
militant, and independent expression of the Palestinian drive to liberation (Said 253).
From a cultural perspective, Karmi was born in the Middle East to a Muslim
family. While Palestinian Arabs consisted of both Muslims and Christians, the
Christianity of Palestine was Eastern Orthodox rather than Western Roman Catholicism
or Protestantism. Thus, after her familys move to England, she is a person of an
Eastern belief system trying to find her way in the Western world. Like Maxine Hong
Kingston, she faces difficulty dealing with this dichotomous situation. Karmis life is
more complicated, though, because while Kingston has China and Chinese legend to
draw strength from, Karmi is a woman without a country; indeed, after May 10, 1949,
Palestine ceased to exist not only on maps but also in the minds of those around her.
Her situation is further complicated by her familys choice of housing in London; her
father finds them a home within the predominantly Jewish neighborhood of Golders
Green.
The directional image of Karmis autobiography reflects her cultural reality. She
seems to constantly be pulled between two realities. As a young child, she is torn
between peasant and town person. As a young immigrant, she is faced with
Catholicism versus Islam. As an adolescent and young adult she fights between English
and Arab identity. Each of these dichotomies plays an important role in shaping Karmi,

and many of the battles span more than one period of her life. Her life then, serves as
a battleground where her identity is constantly challenged.
Like any person, Karmi is influenced by her parents. From her father, Karmi
gleans the importance of education and a love of books. She describes her father as,
avid reader and book collector [who] kept several chests full of books in our house
(13). He considered his oldest sister Souad the most intelligent of his sisters. He used
always to bemoan her lack of education, forced on her by the prevailing social custom
in her youth when girls were not allowed any schooling. If she had been educated,
theres no knowing what she could achieved, he used to say (82). This sadness on the
part of Karmis father influences him to ensure that all three of his children two
daughters and a son are properly educated. Karmis mother, although only educated,
as was the custom, [with] an elementary education, enough to read the Quran and be
able to write in a rudimentary way, (133) imparts in Karmi a strong sense of Arab
culture, which eventually leads to ethnic pride.
While Karmis parents inevitably shaped her personality, there are other helpers
and hinderers who perhaps played larger roles. This is especially because of her
mothers distance from her. Before fleeing Palestine, her mother was quite a socialite.
Although her background was modest, her marriage increased her status and she was
able to hire domestic help. The woman she hired, Fatima al-Basha, had a huge impact
on Karmis life. As a child, Fatima was a sort of surrogate mother to Karmi and her
siblings, who loved her dearly for her patience and attention. Fatimas larger influence,

however, was in her role as a peasant woman. In this sense, Fatima represents
Palestine itself for Karmi, and in Search[ing] for Fatima, Karmi is searching for herself.
Karmis older sister Siham also played an important role in her life. As the oldest
child, Arab culture dictated that she look after her younger siblings. Karmi explains, I
suppose Siham acted like a little mother to me during my childhood, and I loved her
devotedly in return. It was a role she would assume even more after we left
Jerusalem (56). Her mothers depression after arriving in London left Karmi mainly
in her sisters hands. As a young adult, her rebellion includes rebellion against her
sisters mothering: Sihams watchfulness over my morals, in loco parentis, was no
better (305) reveals how strong this role was.
Non-familial relationships also play a part in Karmis life. At the convent school
La Sagesse where she is enrolled, the nuns are kind to her, which leaves her with a
lifelong affection for Catholicism (193). She befriends a Jewish girl, Leslie Benenson, in
the convent school, which foreshadows the number of Jewish friends she eventually will
make in her life. Two girls in high school, her friend Hilary and her enemy Zoe Steiner,
stand out, because they awaken in Karmi the knowledge that as an Arab she is
different, and regardless of her citizenship, she will never really be considered English.
With another friend, Patricia Cohen, she sneaks into the underground station restrooms
and experiments with makeup and boyfriends.
In college, she befriends Zandra, and together they try to experiment further
with boyfriends. When Siham moves to Syria to be near their relatives, Zandra

replace[s Siham] (312). With Zandras family, Karmi experiences her first English
Christmas, and later accepts an identity she hesitantly carries for quite some time:
I knew these were affectionate rebukes, but one day, when she
came home and called out, Rada! as she pronounced my name
Rada! Wheres that Arab got to? I remarked, Youre right, I am an
Arab.
She looked at me in astonishment. What do you mean? she
demanded.
Simply that its true, Im not English.
Dont be so silly, she answered briskly. Youre just a darkskinned English girl, thats what you are.
I was pleased to hear this and yet uneasy. I knew that her
description did not encapsulate the whole of me, although I could not
have said exactly what did. However, for the time being, I was not going
to argue. To be taken at face value for English was good enough (313314).
John Thornley is a final important influence in Karmis life. He begins as a friend,
being generous and treating Karmi well. He takes her to the countryside to meet his
family, and they become quite close. As he and his family accept her, she begins to
believe that she is truly just a dark-skinned English girl. Much to her familys dismay,
Karmi and John are married, but only after John agrees to convert to Islam to partially
appease her parents. The Six Day War of 1967 and her husbands Israel-supporting
reaction finally awakens Karmi. Her failed marriage brings her to the conclusion that,
the tortured love affair that waited inescapably for [her], as for all Palestinians, was
the one with Palestine. And, for good or ill, it would last a lifetime (380).
For Karmi, the losses she experiences in her life provoke change. The first such
loss is that of her childhood home in Jerusalem. Her family first moves to Damascus,
Syria, to stay with her mothers relatives. Here she is confronted by her mothers
traditional father, who insists that both Karmi and her brother Ziyad learn how to pray

in the Muslim way. He berates her mother for not teaching them the traditional Muslim
practices. Woman Warrior presents a similar situation of the old tradition questioning
the new. Kingstons aunt Moon Orchid questions Kingstons mother Brave Orchid, Why
didnt you teach your girls to be demure? after observing that, They looked directly
into her eyes as if they were looking for lies. Rude. Accusing. They never lowered
their gaze; they hardly blinked (133).
Though Karmi and her brother at the time find ways to read comics while they
are supposed to be praying, the prayer has an effect on her. After her move to
London, when confronted by Catholicism at La Sagesse, Karmi retains her own heritage
by praying Al-Fatiha1 in her mind during the Hail Mary. Furthermore, she begins to
pray at home in the way her grandfather had taught her, to preserve [her] identity
from being overwhelmed by the Christian forces around [her] (193).
Once they leave Syria for London, the loss of family ties throws Karmis mother
into a deep depression. She, like Kingstons mother, refuses to admit they will not
return one day to their home country. Karmi says,
Agreeing to any house improvement other than cleaning would have
meant that her stay in England was no longer temporary. Since this
possibility was not remotely acceptable, we struggled on living in a cold
housewith peeling walls, a dilapidated bathroom, and a damp, oldfashioned kitchen (187).
Kingstons implies the same about her mother once her mother finally admits they have
no China to go back to: Can we spend the fare money on furniture and cars? (107).
1

The first sura (chapter) of the Quran, which translates: In the name of God, the Merciful, the
Compassionate. Praise be to the God of the worlds, the Merciful, the Compassionate, Lord of the Day of
Judgment. You do we worship and to You do we turn for help. Guide us to the true path, the path of
those whom You have favored, not those who have incurred Your wrath, nor those who have strayed.
Amen (87).

More profound than the loss of home in Karmis life seems to be the loss of
people. Like Malcolm X, she is deeply affected by these losses. As a child, though she
struggles to be seen as a non-peasant, the loss of her peasant surrogate mother Fatima
is very difficult for her. From Fatima she felt unconditional love, something she seemed
to not feel much from her own distant mother. This first loss forces her to rely on her
sister Siham and her own growing awareness of the world. With her sister, she begins
to assimilate slowly into Western culture, although this affects them differently. Her
sister is older, and is able to remember Arab culture, so she is much more moderate in
her assimilation. She refuses British citizenship, and never loses the sense that she is
really Arab. When she finishes at the university, she decides to leave England for Syria,
the second major loss in Karmis life.
The loss of Siham in Karmis early adulthood causes echoes of [her] parting with
Fatima painfully mingled with the fear of uncertainty (321). Though she realizes
Siham had never been as fully westernized as she, they had gone through a large part
of the process together. It was her sister who understood with her Englands special
culture, its liberalism, its intellectual values and sophistication (321). Because she
understood both England and the Arab world, Siham had provided her with a link
between her Arabness and her Englishness that her parents could not provide her, and
the breaking of the link complicated matters. She describes,
After Sihams departure, I felt increasingly alienated from my parents and
their friends, as if they existed on another planet, utterly incongruous with
me and the England I was now part of. It was as if the dichotomy of
cultures which had tormented me was beginning to find a resolution.
Between the newly discovered freedoms of Bristol and the stifling
discomfort of home, there was scarecely any content, and I was

unconsciously glad of it, for it helped ease my transition from my Arab self
into my English one. Sihams departureadded the final touches (321).
The third big loss in Karmis life is that of her husband. In her marriage to him,
she finds complete assimilation into English society. In marrying John [she] sought to
belong to England, to fit seamlessly into English society, to adopt English culture as
[her] own and to rebuild [her] fragile sense of identity along English lines (377). It is
the Six Day War of 1967 between the Arab states and Israel, which shatters this illusion
for her. Her husbands defense of Israel is an awakening for her that she is not truly
English and will never be truly English. The loss propels her to find her roots first
through political ties to Palestinian support agencies, then through a trip to Palestine,
and ultimately a trip to Jerusalem where she is able finally to reach some resolution.
The effects of loss in Karmis life are not unlike those experienced by Malcolm X.
As a young child, the loss of his parents propels him into a white world. He does well,
but realizes by age thirteen that no matter how well he does, he will not fit into white
society. His foster familys talking about blacks as if he wasnt there along with his role
as mascot at his all-white school lead him to this, but his English teacher Mr.
Ostrowski cements this view for him in his response to Malcolms expressed desire to
become a lawyer: Malcolm, one of lifes first needs is for us to be realistic. A lawyer
thats no realistic goal for a nigger. You need to think about something you can be.
Why dont you plan on carpentry? (38). This propels him into a world on the streets of
Boston and Harlem.
In prison he becomes a member of the Nation of Islam. He cements his identity
as a black separatist, further involving himself in the culture of blackness he learned on

the street. The difference is that his message is positive rather than criminal. Later,
the loss of Elijah Muhammad as a mentor changes his life once more. This loss
prompts a pilgrimage to Mecca where he finds a world of equality between races. It is
this journey and his subsequent conversion to Orthodox Islam, which allow him to
attain his final identity that includes racial harmony.
Although the losses propel Karmis personal changes, the cultural undertones of
the story of the Palestinian people seem to be the most important part of her
autobiography. We learn in the beginning that there were historically three social
classes in Palestine: the wealthy land owners, the townspeople, and the peasants or
fellahin. Her own family is a member of the middle-class townspeople, but through
their employ of Fatima as a domestic worker, Karmi understands the symbols of the
peasants. The most important symbol in her autobiography is the caftan which Fatima
wears:
At the time of my childhood in Jerusalem, no woman who was not a
peasant would have been seen dead in a caftan, however beautifully
embroidered. No one then could have known that after the loss of
Palestine in 1948, this despised peasant costume would become a symbol
of the homeland, worn with pride by the very same women who had
previously spurned it (22-23).
This association is in a sense ironic; those who left Palestine were necessarily those
who could afford to do so not the peasants but it was the peasants who became the
symbol of the country. In another important passage, Karmi relates, For the fellahin,
judged uneducated and backward on the one hand, were also seen as symbols of
tenacity, simplicity, and steadfastness on the other. They represented continuity and
tradition and the essence of what it was to be Palestinian (21). Thus Karmis search

for Fatima is not merely a search for her own identity and the love she lost as a child,
but it becomes for Karmi a symbol of the Palestinian peoples search to regain their lost
homeland.
Another important cultural undertone is the role of women in traditional Arab
society, which is comparable to the role of women in traditional Chinese society.
Karmis mother is an excellent example of this. Explaining why her mother received
only an elementary education, Karmi says, Girls were only there to get married, so
why waste too much effort in teaching them what they would never use. In addition,
there was the constant fear that once a girl knew how to write, she might start to
correspond with men and be led into improper ways (133). This is quite similar to
Kingstons reminiscence of female education: Theres no use wasting all that
discipline on a girl. When you raise girls, youre raising children for strangers
(Kingston 46). Karmis fathers insistence on education, in comparison, can be seen like
the role of Kingstons Fa Mu Lan story: She told me I would grow up a wife and a
slave, but she taught me the song of the warrior woman, Fa Mu Lan. I would have to
grow up a warrior woman (Kingston 20). For Karmi, it is her father who opens doors
for her; for Kingston, it is the knowledge from her mothers story that she can be more
than just a wife or a slave.
In all three of these autobiographies Woman Warrior, Malcolm X, and In
Search of Fatima the search is for identity. For Maxine Hong Kingston, this search
takes on the role of finding her voice. She begins with her no-name aunts story,
attempting to give both her aunt and herself a voice. She moves on to the knowledge

that she can be a warrior woman, then that her mother is, indeed, a kind of warrior
woman, and through her aunt she learns that it is the woman who must choose how
important she will be in society.

For Malcolm X, the search is for positive identification

in a white-controlled society. He begins with his family, where there is strife even
between his dark-skinned father and lighter-skinned mother, but nevertheless some
sort of family harmony. When this is shattered, he moves to reform school where he
begins to feel discrimination, then to Boston, Harlem, prison, and finally the Nation of
Islam where he nourishes a growing sense of superiority to whites. Through his life, he
uses words and education to understand and change society. For Karmi, the search
involves the conflict of being an Arab in England. She learns English society, but is
constantly reminded she is not English. Still, she does not feel Arab, either. She is
often able to deceive herself for some time until world events put things back into
perspective for her. Her own love of literature and knowledge sustain her throughout
some of her most difficult times.
In the end, each of these authors must reach some conclusion. For Malcolm X, it
is the knowledge that some white people are truly sincere, that some are capable of
being brotherly toward a black man (369). He concludes his story with hope that he
has made some change in the world:
Yes, I have cherished my demagogue role. I know that societies have
often killed the people who have helped to change those societies. And if
I can die having brought any light, having exposed any meaningful truth
that will help destroy the racist cancer that is malignant in the body of
America then all of the credit is due to Allah. Only the mistakes have
been mine (389).

For Kingston, the last chapter of her autobiography relates a tale of a Chinese
poetess captured by barbarians. The barbarian flute music haunts her until one day
she is able to sing in the same pitch. This story seems to say that Kingston has found
her voice. The harmony she has found is expressed well in the final lines of Woman
Warrior:
She brought her songs back from the savage lands, and one of the three
that has been passed down to us is Eighteen Stanzas for a Barbarian
Reed Pipe, a song that Chinese sing to their own instruments. It
translated well (209).
For Karmi, her own identity is never quite clear. Still, her trip to Jerusalem at the
end of her autobiography does bring her some resolution:
I lay on my bed in the hotel near the Old City where I was
staying. Inside me was a numbing emptiness. Then suddenly a sound,
familiar and evocative. It was the call to prayerspreading through the
Old City, traveling over the houses, over the cars, the modern office
blocks, and passing on to the hills beyond. As the sound hit my ears, I
sat up, wide awake. Mesmerized, I went to the balcony windows and
threw them wide open, the better to hear it. On it cameover Israels
brash buildings, its luxury hotels, its noisy traffic. The unmistakable
sound of another people and another presence, definable, enduring and
continuous. Still there, not gone, not dead.
I closed my eyes in awe in and relief. The story had not ended,
after all not for them, at least, the people who still lived there, though
they were now herded into reservations a fraction of what had been
Palestine. They would remain and multiply and one day return and
maybe overtake. Their exile was material and temporary (451).
In these lines, there is hope, at least for the Palestinian people. Karmis final lines, But
mine was a different exile, undefined by space or time, and from where I was, there
would be no return (451), seem disheartening. However, as they are combined with
her hope for the Palestinian people, they do contain a glimmer of hope. Nonetheless,

Karmi realizes that she will neither be truly English or truly Palestinian, but something
somewhere in between.
The autobiographies of Malcolm X, Maxine Hong Kingston, and Ghada Karmi all
focused on identity. By comparing and contrasting them, one can better understand
how different cultural forces shape people in both similar and dissimilar ways. One also
gets a larger picture of how environment and racism affect identity, as all three of these
figures suffered racism in their lives. Perhaps through learning about these issues from
these and other individuals, there will one day be change.

Christine Kelly
Page 14

Works Cited

Hitchens, Christopher. Broadcasts. Blaming the Victims: Spurious Scholarship and

the Palestinian Question. Edward W. Said and Christopher Hitchens, Eds. New
York: Verso, 1988.
Karmi, Ghada. In Search of Fatima: A Palestinian Story. New York: Verso, 2002.
Kingston, Maxine Hong. The Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts.
New York: Random House, 1975.
Malcolm X. The Autobiography of Malcolm X. With the assistance of Alex Haley. New
York: Random House, 1965.
Said, Edward W., et. al. A Profile of the Palestinian People. Blaming the Victims:
Spurious Scholarship and the Palestinian Question. Edward W. Said and
Christopher Hitchens, Eds. New York: Verso, 1988.