Callejas 1

Emely Callejas
Professor Jennifer Rodrick
QS 115
18 October 2016
Rough Draft
Living in a non idealistic society, one has to fit and conform to others standards. Being
in the LGBTQ community, there are expected behavior that comes with being gay, lesbian,
transgender,etc no matter where you are. The space around us forces one to stick with only one
label. Nevertheless we can change our labels, but as long as we identified as one of the labels
provided. The LGBTQ community has to create their identity with the stereotypes in society and
conform to what others make them believe is right by telling them about religion, harassing them
or just being afraid of being judged because they didnt fit into the normal category.
When coming out of the closet, there will always be people expecting you to be their type
of outline of a queer person. Wherever you are, you have to act or dress appropriately. Nash
interviews a guy about being gay and to what limits does he become gay enough in public
situations. I do make decisions about how queer I want to look based on where Im going and
who Im going to be talking to and generally that's an empowering choice for me (Nash). The
guy only feels he is in control of his life is when he has to be a certain type of queer. He doesn't
want to be stand out in a bad way because he feels being apart of the LGBTQ is already causing
attention. He limits himself to whom he wants to display because he doesn't want discrimination
from others if he doesn't fit their standards. In another interview he talks to a guy named George
about how he labels himself according the societys categories. For example, in my

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conversation with George, he argued against being positioned within pre-existing categories of
legibility and recognition. He felt that these categories impose a stability and certainty about
identity that is too narrow a referencing system for life experiences (Nash). Even with queer
labels, there is still not enough to identify everyone's stories. They have to confine to what is
given if they want to fit in. Although people come out to their true sexuality, they are still
constricted to limits.
Finally being open about your sexuality can be a weight lifted off your shoulder but in
some cases, it can
add more than one can handle. In The Full Spectrum by David Levithan, a
girls father founds out she is lesbian through a phone conversation. He is unaccepting at the fact
that she is lesbian and makes her go see a priest. A priest. I told my dad it wasnt going to do
anything, but Ill go to his church and Ill talk to his priest. Its not going to change me(Canale
43). Her father pushed religion onto her hoping it will change who she is. This made her conform
to what he thought was right for her. In reality, it traumatized her. Being outed could backfire on
you. In another story in The Full Spectrum, this individual decides to come out as transgender
from female to male. She tells her program director to call her Alex and use pronouns such as
he,his and him. Thinking that my attraction to girls could only identify me as a dyke, I identify
as just that. I was, in that program, known as Heather the dyke. ( Rasmussen 74) The director
tells him no that he is meant to be a girl. The author wanted to be known as a male but according
to his peers, he could nothing to convince them out of the dyke term. In the book Composing
Gender another individual describes her bathroom situation as a transgender. When I first
transitioned, I became temporarily disabled since the administration interim solution was that I
use the single access handicapped restroom on a different floor of my building (Doan 60-61).

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Disable means a person having a physical or mental condition that limits movements, senses, or
activities. If being unable wasnt bad enough due to her gender, the door had no lock leaving
any of her students to walk in and no privacy for Petra Doan. Overcoming the sexuality barrier
can be challenging, but it is better to be clear about who you are than to be in the closet.
Verbal abuse and sexual assault contributes to forming the queer identity because even in
the space are you feel you are safe to be yourself, you are vulnerable in many ways. In
Composing Gender, Petra Doan also talks about her experience in an elevator with a man trying
to expose her. By squeezing my breasts he was objectifying and assaulting what young
(1998) calls the most visible sign of womans femininity. In my case he assumed he was
attacking my false femininity to expose me for an imposter (Doan 58). The man that assaulted
her knew his actions were wrong. Although, to him just because she was transgender made the
action justice to do so. This trauma made Petra Doan think its okay to sexually assault her
because she is different, that it comes with being apart of queer community. The writer also
shares her experiences in her home where you think she would feel the most safe in the world.
Petra Doan notes that it is her voice that forms who she is over the phone. Callers who do not
know me invariably hear my voice and assume that I am male. However, many callers refuse
to disbelieve their ears and continue this pronoun abuse by calling me Mister and Sir (Doan 62).
Many people dont understand how the little pronouns can cause pain to transgender individual.
No one should have to go through that mental abuse because the trauma can make a person
believe its okay.
A lot of people have fear and uncertainty about coming out because they wouldnt meet
the expectations feel like they dont belong anywhere. In a video of Ted Talk, the speaker

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Morgana Bailey talks about how she thought her coworkers would think hey if shes a lesbian,
then she must be a dyke, that she has to be masculine. She didnt want her sexuality to define
who she is. She says many times in the video she wants to know as just Morgana, not my lesbian
friend Morgana or my gay coworker Morgana. She didnt want to carry around the invisible
labels everywhere she went. Morgana Bailey talks about how she conform to be who she is at
work because its beneficial to a long term career advancement. Many like Morgana Bailey have
to conform to the environment surrounding them even if it means not being themselves. In The
Full Spectrum, talks about trying to fit in even though they know they cant because people
would think theyre abnormal. At homecoming while the rest of the girls were worrying
about whether their nails were an even coat, I was trying and retrying on the same dress every
year, hoping it would be just enough to get through the night without a whole lot of attention.
...There was no winning, and certainly no passing as that kind of girl even when I tried
(Wehman 246). The author felt they had to portray a girl to be normal. The writer had to hide
who they were even if it meant being uncomfortable. In another video titled Why Are Queer
Spaces Important talks about how people shouldnt have feel unsafe or abnormal. Especially a
young queer individual shouldnt have to go through life thinking they dont have a place to call
home. In some third world countries, there isnt a place for an LGBTQ individual to call home
because theyre still in the process of developing a most diverse society.
Trying to fit in can be depriving to ones individuality. Being anywhere can be influential
to anybody in the LGBTQ community. Being labeled, harassed and having religion strictly
forced on one can really affect their lifestyle. That they are always in the wrong and they have to

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change who they are to satisfy others. No one is never really alone. There is also someone else
in the world that is in the fight with you.

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Works Cited
Groner, Rachael, and John F. O'Hara. Composing Gender. N.p.: n.p., n.d. Print.

Levithan, David, and Billy Merrell. The Full Spectrum: A New Generation of Writing about Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, and Other Identities. New York: Knopf, 2006.
Print.

Nash, Catherine Jean. "Trans Experiences in Lesbian and Queer Space." Canadian Geographer / Le
Gographe Canadien, 55.2 (2011): 192-207.

TED. The danger of hiding who you are | Morgana Bailey. Online Video Clip. Youtube, 23 Jan.
2015. Web. 19 Oct. 2016.

Queerest of the Queer. Why Are Queer Spaces Important? Online Video Clip. Youtube, 4 Sept. 2015.
Web. 19 Oct. 2016.