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She was walking through the knee high grass dazed and confused.

The past day felt like a


very blurry dream. And not a good dream. Her vision was fuzzy and she didnt know where she
was. She couldnt piece together the few bits of information she did know, however.
She knew that she was in the middle of a field next to an airport, mostly because she
could still see the airport. In the distance, she saw the lights of the city. She didnt even knowAn airplane loudly roared overhead. She instinctively checked the time on her watch. It
was roughly 10:43pm. She realized that she was supposed to be on that plane. She also realized
that she was supposed to be with someone.
What was his name? She stood for a few seconds trying to remember his name. It was no
use, her mind was blank.
The cold started to numb her legs; shorts hadnt been a good choice. She silently cursed
her past self and continued to walk. She didnt even know exactly to where she was walking. She
saw headlights in the distance, but they werent heading towards her. That had to be where the
road was. She decided that in order to get back to town, she would have to walk to the road and
try to hitchhike.
The grass was uncomfortable to walk through. It was rubbing her bare legs and it was
itchy. As she made her way to the road she listened to the bugs and watched the stars. She
thought that they were mesmerizing. They gave her an odd sense of comfort.
It was a surprisingly short walk from where she was to the road. She was so glad to be
out of that grass. In fact, so happy, that she finally noticed her hands were freezing and she
shoved them in her sweater pocket. In the most cliche way possible, there was a piece of paper in
her pocket. It had three peoples names and their phone numbers. One was for Jess, she knew
that one easily. That was her best friend. The next was for Matt-

Matt was this guy she had met. He was a lot older. They had been talking for the past few
months. He was just using her, and she knew it. It was alright to her; she had been using him too.
He wanted her for her body and she wanted him for his money. Both of them silently knew the
whole time that this wouldnt last.
She met him after her boyfriend had broken up with her. Matt was a rebound, but he said
really nice things to her. The type of things boys say when they want to get in a girls pants.
However, She liked the attention, so despite knowing his intentions, she played along with the
game. Who really cared though? She had mostly gotten what she wanted.
What did she want? To not be here. Although she was still here and Matt certainly wasnt
with her like he said hed be. Obviously, she should have cared more, but it was a little too late
for that. So, she moved onto the next name on the list: Andy.
She couldnt exactly figure out why Andy was on the list or even really why he mattered
that much. He was just this guy she had met and had been talking to for a little while. Her
memory was still fried. She decided at the last second to walk instead to the airport to find a
phone. It was closer and Andy could just pick her up if she called him. She somehow knew he
would.
She walked and thought about Matt. What happened that he wasnt here? He certainly
dropped her off, thats obviously how she got here, but where was he now? He seemed like the
type to just ditch her when he was bored and thats probably what happened. Besides, it was his
dumb fault that she couldnt remember anything. Hes the one that gave her the drugs. She
slowly recollected what happened right before everything in her memory gets blurry.
Matt had picked her up to take her out and she mentioned wanting to go to the airport to
leave, and he agreed to take her. She really should have realized sooner that he didnt give a

damn about her. At some point while they were together, though, he gave her a pill. It made her
really giggly and happy, but it killed any memory she might have had while she was on it. She
told him she had a headache and he screwed up and gave her the wrong thing. He was always
doing dumb things like that.
She walked in silent anger at Matt for doing this to her. She would at least know her own
damn name if he hadnt screwed her. In her rage, she was oblivious to her surroundings. Until
she stepped on the tail of a cat and it made a very loud noise at her.
Oh, Jesus. Im sorry kitty, I didnt mean to step on you, she whispered and crouched
down to its level. The cat wasnt badly hurt.
Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness quite a while ago, so despite the cat being
extremely black, she could see it well. It was really old and a little skinny, like it was going to die
soon. It kind of reminded her of Andys cat. It had great big green eyes that stared back at her
with a sense of knowing and familiarity.
Oh, this was Andys cat. What the hell? So many questions ran through her head while
she and the cat locked eyes. Why was Andys cat all the way out here? Why did she know what
Andys cat look like? Why does Andys cat know what she looks like?
Because she was dating Andy. How could she have forgotten? She had been to his house,
she had held this cat before. She dumped Matt for Andy about a month ago, but she still asked
Matt to take her to the airport? Now she wasnt even angry, she was just confused. She had to get
the airport and call Andy. He would know what was going on. He would at least know her name.
That would be a definite start.
So, on she marched, a little more determined and anxious than before. She mulled over
all of the possibilities of her circumstances. She came to one conclusion: Andy did something to

upset her so she went to Matt. When she arrived at this conclusion, she started to see the signs for
the airport entrances. She checked her watch, it was about 12:57 in the morning, She hoped Andy
would still be awake.
Not a single car passed her, but the bugs were really quiet now. It was dead silent as she
approached the airport. The closer she got the brighter the lights were, it was almost painful
because she had been walking in complete darkness the entire time. When she finally got to the
airport, she just walked through the first main entrance she could find.
Inside, she found a very large white interior with high ceilings. There was red roped lines
that lead to a long desk with blue monitors above it. It was void of people, except for the few
TSA and airport working walking around. She noticed a payphone in the front corner of the
airport and made her way over there. As she walked, it seemed like the workers didnt even
notice her.
The payphone box and everything around it was spotless. She pulled out the folded piece
of paper and some quarters and called Andy.
As the phone ringed, she kept her eyes on her watch and silently tapped her heel.
1:32am. Cmon Andy.
Hello? he was groggy.
Hey Im at the airport... she wanted to tell him more, but she really couldnt remember
anymore.
Who is this? he asked.
Uh, its your girlfriend. I spoke into the phone.
What? Hannah? What are you doing at the airport? he was basically shouting into the
phone. At least he was awake now.

I dont really know. Can you just get me? It was silent for a second. Please?
Okay. Okay. Ill be there in less than an hour. He sighed and added Youre so damn
lucky I dont have work tomorrow.
Yeah I really am.
Let me put on pants and Ill be on my way.
Okay. Bye Andy.
Bye baby and the call ended.
She walked outside and sat on bench under the flourescent lights of the airport exterior.
She checked her watch again. 1:35am.
Hannah. She heard Andys static voice play over in her head. Her name was Hannah.
That felt right. Things didnt feel as fuzzy as they did before, they didnt feel as fake. She sat and
thought very hard for a moment. Maybe she could remember other things now.
She remembered that her and Matt were at this spot before, a little bit earlier. There were
more people and it was a lot louder. He dropped her off because she and Andy had gotten into a
fight, she didnt remember what it was though. That wasnt enough to make her upset enough to
leave, though.
Hannah! Her mothers angry voice rang in her ears. Her mother had told her that she
didnt want Hannah in the house anymore, because Hannah had just finished school and refused
to pay rent. So, she left. She couldnt have called Andy because he wouldnt have let her leave,
so she called Matt. He showed up and she left all of her things at the house: her phone, her
clothes, her money, her ID.
Matt gave her the wrong pills. She got dropped off and then she left the airport? Hannah
figured she must have decided she was okay, because the pills made her feel so different, and

started to walk away from the airport. Then she finally was conscious again and found her way
back here.
She had no idea how to coherently explain any of that to Andy. He was going to think she
was insane, and very stupid. She sighed and hugged herself. Her leg was getting exhausted from
all the shaking. In fact, her whole body was exhausted. She wasnt sure if she ate while she was
blacked out. She figured she could ask Andy to stop and get food for her.
Speak of the devil. She saw Andys blue car off in the distance. She stood and waved,
hoping he would notice her. After a few moments, he did and he pulled up. She waited for the
familiar click of the doors unlocking before she opened the passenger door and climbed in.
They hugged and she kissed his cheek. Thank you for getting me. Im so sorry about all
of this.
Its okay. Youre really cold. Are you okay? He held my hand and furrowed his brows
at my bare legs.
Yeah. Ill be fine. Its a really long story. I need sleep, she paused as they both clicked
their seatbelts in and he started to drive. And food pretty please? Ill pay you back later if I have
to.
You dont have to pay me back, Jesus Hannah. Youre my girlfriend. Besides, Im
hungry too.
Okay. Okay. Im cool with whatever, I just want something warm.
Alright baby, his eyes stayed on the road and she clung to his upper arm for comfort
and warmth.
After a few minutes of silence, Hannah sighed and said Matt took me to the airport.

Andy looked down at her, what? Because of our fight earlier? Hannah Im sorry, I didnt
mean to make you that-
She cut him off, stop. Its not your fault that I had to go and overreact like that. Im
sorry. And no, it wasnt just the fight.
They pulled up to a red light and he kissed her forehead as she pulled away from his arm.
What else happened?
My mom kicked me out, she said without looking at him. It hurt a lot to have to admit
that she was now both broke and homeless.
Baby, you can stay with me. Its not a problem.
Yes it is. I dont want to impede on you like that.
The light changed the car started moving again, but youre homeless and I cant let you
stay with Matt.
I-I dont know. Ill find my own place, she still couldnt look at him. She was moments
away from tears.
Well tonight, youre sleeping with me. Im not leaving you out here by yourself.
Okay thats fair, she breathed out, thank you.
It was silent again for a little while. They were back in town. The city was still lit and
alive. Andy drove to the nearest McDonald's and ordered some burgers and fries. He paid and the
worker handed him the bag of food.
Can I just have the fries, please? Hannah asked.
Yes, beautiful, Andy responded and handed her the cup of fries.
He parked and they ate. I'm such a hoe for these fries, to be honest, she remarked.

Andy didn't respond at first, but after a few moments he said, did you really think I
would cheat on you?
No, I knew you wouldn't, but I had to be sure, she paused, I should have trusted you to
begin with. I'm sorry.
It's okay, he said to her and rubbed her thigh.
I'm just scared, she admitted.
Of what?
Loving you.
Why? He said after swallowing another bite of food. He put down his burger.
She stopped looking at him and looked down at her food, because what if you hurt me?
What if you hurt me?
I don't understand.
Whenever you love someone, you run the risk of being hurt. That's just the way of
things. Love is a dangerous thing, and it's a game of balancing trust, he placed his hand on hers,
trust me, he pleaded.
I'm trying to, and she couldn't hold back the tears any longer.
He noticed immediately the change in her tone and moved his hand to her cheek.
Hannah, don't cry, he whispered to her as he wiped a tear away.
Hold me, she begged.
He reached across the center console and brought her to him. He took deep slow breaths
and she tried to copy them to calm herself down. It had been a really long day.
Let's go home and sleep, okay? We're both tired and we can talk in the morning.
Everything's okay now, I'm not going anywhere, he did his best to assure her.

She wiped her eyes and nodded. They put their trash together in the bag and buckled their
seatbelts. Andy turned on car and pulled out of the parking space. Hannah brought her knees to
her chest and hugged them. They made the short trip back to the house.
They arrived and got out of the car. Together, the two walked hand in hand to the front
door, like they always did. Andy led her up the stairs. Hannah followed him to the bedroom.
They both undressed and climbed in bed. They didn't cuddle when the went to sleep because
Andy got hot too fast, so she lay facing him with his hand grasped at her chest. That's how they
fell asleep.

I jolted awake and looked at the clock. 10:07am. I rolled over and looked at Andy. Hey
sleepyhead wake up. I need you, and I gently tapped him a lot of times. I was shaking
uncontrollably so some the taps were a little harder than I was intending.
What, he groaned at me.
I had the dream again, I whispered.
He opened one eye and looked at me. I gave him the most pathetic look I could muster.
He lifted his arm and I moved to lay under it. He held me close to him and said sleepily, baby,
it's in the past, it's over. Things are much better now.
Leo was in it this time, I told him.
The cat that died or the dude? He asked me.
The cat, you ding-dong.
Damn. How'd he look?
Like he was about to die, honestly, I said slowly.
Well, that would be accurate for Leo.

Oh shut up, you're awful.


I had managed to stop shaking really quickly. I'd been having that dream for the past year
about what happened when we were much younger. He was right, things are much better. I'm
glad I didn't leave.

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