Session 14

Aligning the Parts

Of You

Every person - including YOU - has done "bad" things. We hide those things from
people because we're afraid if they knew they wouldn't love us.
1. Other people in the world need you to look at them and simply accept them.
Doesn't matter if they know about NLP, visualization, or anything else. If you're
with them and accept them, they'll feel it.

People feel like they get to win when they find a fault in your argument. That's their
self-expression.
1. Most people don't have the sense that there's any other option besides completely
going with it and saying yes... or going totally against it.
2. But the third place is to accept their reality as their reality, without having to judge
it positively or negatively. Then when they're done, share your own different
perspective on it.
3. As long as you're not judging them and making them wrong, nor putting yourself
on the high horse of superiority... the other person will usually simply be ok with
your different view.

Look at the nature of what it means to be friendly.

1. If being friendly to us is about not getting other people upset, then we're choosing
to determine our behavior on how others might respond to us... instead of
deciding how we want to behave and then leaving how they respond up to them.
2. Be aware of your "need" to be liked and your "need" to not offend other people, if
it's to such an extent that you don't express yourself honestly.
3. It may be if you really respect another person, you're going to behave toward them
in a way that's not necessarily what they want but what may help them grow to
the next level.

A problem lies in the idea of "yourself" and "I."

1. The challenge is that several times a day there is something we want to do, we can
do, but we don't do.
2. How is that possible?
3. There's a part of us that wants to do it, there's parts of us that don't want to do it,
and those parts are in charge.
4. We have to give up the illusion that we have a permanent I. We have different
parts, and they are often in conflict.
5. As we move from one part to the next, we don't realize the shift.
6. Often we're unaware which part is in charge at any moment.

Alignment, Congruency: all parts are moving in the same direction.

What to do:
1. Make an inventory of the parts you're aware of. What do they want? What are
they trying to do?
2. Then at any moment, ask "What part is present now?"
3. The normal way to get us to do something we want to do and can but don't... is to
use force. It doesn't work and creates wild swings of power between your parts.
4. The answer - align the parts.
5. Have something greater than ourselves to align around.

Witness Consciousness: a part that simply observes the other parts.

1. You know when you're in Witness because you're not rationalizing, justifying, or
excusing your choices.
2. Spiritual work is partly about developing the Witness and aligning yourself with
something higher.

We can create new parts.

1. Think of great leaders. If you were to act like them, how would you act, talk,
move?

Your Congruence attracts and impacts other people.

1. If you're not congruent, people will subconsciously pick up on your voice tone or
body language that communicates something is "off"... something isn't congruent.
2. Powerful leaders are totally congruent with the message they're giving: body,
head, heart, and spirit.

Parts Integration Exercise

1. Imagine the part of you that likes to do new things in your one hand. See the size,
shape, movement.
2.
3. Imagine the part of you that likes to do the same thing over and over again in your
other hand. See it.
4. Push your two hands together and see how these two parts now combine into a
new shape.
5. Put that shape in your heart, knowing that both parts now can consult the other
when you make decisions.

We make decisions easier when we have a cause. It gives us a way to align our parts
in a single direction.

When you have a cause, you become attractive and interesting to other people.