The Next Time You Look

Someone In The Eye You

Will Communicate How
Successful And
Desirable
You Are!

AllContentsCopyright2014COTUM.COM
1

TableofContents

3.Whatiseyecontact?
10.Eyecontacttipsformen
17.Eyecontacttipsforwomen
20.Levelsofeyecontact(MarkManson)

Whatiseyecontact?

Eye contact occurs when "two people look at each other's

eyesatthesametime."

Eye contact is a form of nonverbal communication and is

thoughttohavealargeinfluenceonsocialbehavior.Coined
intheearlytomid1960s,thetermhascomeintheWestto
often define the act as a meaningful and important sign of
confidence and social communication. The study of eye
contactissometimesknownasoculesics.

Eye contact and facial expressions provide important social

and emotional information. People, perhaps without
consciously doing so, probe each other's eyes and faces for
positive or negative mood signs. In some contexts, the
meetingofeyesarousesstrongemotions.

Eyecontactisalsoanimportantelementinflirting,whereit
mayservetoestablishandgaugetheother'sinterestinsome
situations.

Mutualeyecontactthatsignalsattractioninitiallybeginsasa
briefglanceandprogressesintoarepeatedvolleyingofeye
contact.

Intheprocessofcivilinattention,strangersincloseproximity,
suchasacrowd,avoideyecontactinordertohelpmaintain
theirprivacy.

Numerousstudieshaveshownthatpeoplewhomakehigher
levelsofeyecontactwithothersareperceivedasbeing:

Moredominantandpowerful
Morewarmandpersonable
Moreattractiveandlikeable
Morequalified,skilled,competent,andvaluable
Moretrustworthy,honest,andsincere
Moreconfidentandemotionallystable

Womenareknowntomaintaineyecontactbetterthanmen.
Somestudieshaveshownwomenloseinterestquicklyinmen
whocantmaintaineyecontact.

Why does making eye contact with people have such a

dramaticeffectinimprovingtheirperceptionofyou?There
arefourmainreasons:

1.Oureyesweremadetoconnect.Itseasytoseewhythe
eyes of others capture our gaze: theyre freemoving orbs
lodgedinanotherwisestationaryface;eyeballsarereallykind
ofweirdwhenyouthinkaboutthem,arentthey?Butthey
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alsograbourattentionforareasonthatisdistinctlyhuman.
While our irises and pupils float on a bright white canvas,
noneoftheother220speciesofprimateshavewhiteintheir
eyesatall,oratleastwhitesthatcanreadilybeseen.

Imagesource

The whites of our eyes make it very easy for others to see
exactly what were looking at and notice when our focus
changesdirection.Whileprimateswilltypicallyturntheirgaze
in the direction a person points his whole head towards, a
human infant is more likely to follow the persons eyes,
regardless of which way the persons head is tilted.
Anthropologists think our uniquely human eyes evolved to
help us achieve a greater level of cooperation with others,
which is helpful in survival and building a civilization. All of
whichistosay:youreyesweremadetocommunicatewith
theeyesofotherpeople.

2.Oureyesrevealourthoughtsandfeelings.Youveprobably
heard the old expression: The eyes are the window to the
soul.Whilethatmaynotbeliterallytrue,theydoreveala
greatdealaboutwhatwerereallythinkingandfeelingfrom
momenttomoment.

Think of all the eyerelated expressions we have in our

language.Wereseducedbybedroomeyes,waryofshifty
eyes,andafraidofgettingtheevileye.Wereattractedto
peoplewhohavekindeyesandeyesthatsparkle,glow,
or twinkle, while were repelled by those who are dead
behindtheeyes.Whensomeoneiseagerandpeppywesay
theyrebrighteyed;whentheyreboredwedescribetheir
eyesasglazedover.Lovestoriesinbothfictionandreallife
very often begin with two pairs of eyes meeting across a
room.AndBryanAdamssaysyoucangaugeyourlovefora
womanfromyourabilitytoseeyourunbornchildreninher
eyes!Kindofromantic,kindofcreepy.

Thatwegivesomuchcredencetotheideathatwecanread
someonefromwhatsintheireyesisduetothefactthateven
when we hide what were really thinking and feeling in our
bodylanguageandfacialexpressions,itsoftenstillrevealed
inoureyes.Theeyesdontlieaspeoplesay(althoughgood
liarscan,inreality,gettheireyestofibforthem).Thisiswhy
pokerplayersoftenwearsunglassesinordertodisguisetheir
reactionstothehandstheyredealt.

Thehumanpropensitytolooktosomeoneseyesinorderto
decipherwhattheyrethinkingstartsveryearlyinlife.Around
918months,infantswillbegintolooktotheirparentseyes
tofigureoutwhattheyretryingtoconveywhentheirfaceis
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otherwiseambiguous.Andwecontinuetodothisfortherest
ofourlives.

Finally, we lend a lot of weight to eye contact in our

interactions because its a form of simultaneous
communication. You dont have to take turns expressing
yourselvesasyoudowithtalking.Ifyouveeverhadawhole
mini conversation across the room with your spouse, using
onlyyoureyes,youknowhowthisworks.

3.Eyecontactshowsattention.Sociologiststellusthatpeople
are starved for attention these days. Despite the fact that
weremoreconnectedthanever,folksarehungryforface
tofaceinteractionsandsomeonetoreally,sincerelylistento
them.Thishungerforattentioncanmanifestitselfinthings
like conversational narcissism. And if you read our
discussionaboutthatsocialmaladyfromawhileback,youll
rememberthatwetalkedabouthowyoushowyourattention
to someone with whom you are talking by using support
responses, such as nodding your head and offering
backgroundacknowledgmentslikemmmsandyeahs.
Well, eye contact is another form of background
acknowledgementand a very important one at that. It
showsthespeakerthatyouretunedintowhathessaying.
Think of how crappy you feel when youre talking with

someoneandheslookingallaroundtheroomforsomeone
elsetoditchyoufor.

Theabilitytogiveeyecontacttosomeoneastheyspeakisan
especially powerful tool these days; it has become so
commonforpeopletobreaktheirgazetochecktheirphone
duringaconversationthatgivingsomeoneyourcompleteand
undividedattentioncantrulywinthemover.

4. Eye contact creates an intimate bond. When I am

performing a task or feeling an emotion, and you are
observingmedoso,thesameneuronsthatarebeinglitupin
mybrainbyactuallyhavingtheexperience,aretheonesthat
light up in your brain just from watching me. This is made
possiblebythepresenceofmirrorneuronsinourcraniums.
And the activation of these mirror neurons is especially
sensitive to facial expressions, and, you guessed it, eye
contact.Haveyoueverbeenhithardwithanemotionafter
lookingintotheeyesofsomeonewhowasexperiencingit?
Eyecontactcreatesmomentswhereyouareabletoreallyfeel
whatsomeoneelseisfeeling.Itlinkstogetheryouremotional
statesandcreatesempathyandanintimatebond.

Thisiswhywhenwereinteractingasdisembodiedselveson
the internet, it can be very easy to be angry and hateful to
people, but when you see someone facetoface, and look
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intotheireyes,youoftencangetasenseoftheirhumanity
andyourangergreatlydissipates.

Getting insync with others, sharing our feelings, showing

attention,creatingabond:eyecontactistrulyapowerfultool
forconnectingwithothers.

Nowletslearnhowtointerpretandprojecteyecontact.

Eyecontacttipsformen

The first step is to recognize the sort of eye contact youre

receivingandwhatitmeans.

Herearesomewaystofigureoutawomansintentionsjust
bylookingintohereyes.

First,bewithin15or20feetofagirlyou'dliketotalkto.Put
on a pleasant, open appearance and look into their eyes.
Whenshedoeslookbackyouhaveonerule:DONOTLOOK
AWAYFIRST.Icannotstressthisenough.Andwhenyoudo
lookaway,dosototheside,veryslowly.

Oneofthefollowingsixthingswillhappen.

1. She'll look down after a second. If she does this, it's a

subliminal sign that she is excited by you or intimidated by
you. It could also be a sign that she feels she's below you.
Basically,youshouldtalkwithherimmediately.Like,within5
seconds. It will show her that you are as confident as she
thought.

2.She'lllooksidewaysafterasecond.Ifshedoesthisitlikely
meansyouaren'tthatinterestingtoher.Itcouldalsobeasign
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thatsheseesyouasanequal,ornotaviablepartner.IfIget
this signal I usually move on. Later I'll see if she sends any
othersignals.

3.She'lllookUPafterasecond.Rarelywillthishappen,butif
itdoesitmeansthisreallyisn'tworthyourtime.Shefeelsshe
iswellaboveyouandyoudoruntheriskofyourfearbeing
realized.Thisdoesn'tmeanthatsheISaboveyou,justhow
she'sfeelingaboutit.Letherthinkwhatshethinksandmove
ontosomeoneworthyourtime.

4. She'll SMILE and look away in any direction. Talk to her

now! Forget the direction, although if she smiles and looks
downyou'reprettymuchgolden.Ican'tstressthisenough,if
agirlsmiles,giveyourselfanemotionalpatonthebackand
gotalktoher.She'swaitingforyou.

5.She'llquicklygetdistracted.Thisisalostopportunity.You
won'tgetanyrealsignalsfromthis,justmoveonandcome
backifyouwanttolater.

6.Shewon'tlookaway.Yourfirstinstinctwillbetolookaway
afterasecondortwo.DONOTDOIT!Eyecontactisoneof
ourmostprimitiveformsofshowingstatusandconfidence.If
she's holding your gaze there is a reason. If you look away
you'llhaveblownit.Itwillfeellikeaneternitybutremember,
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this tension and awkwardness easily translates into

excitement.Holdthegaze,approach,andspeak.Atthevery
leastshe'llbeinterestedinwhyyouhadsuchconfidenceto
neverbreakeyecontact.

HowtoProjectYourEyeContact:

FocusOnHerPupil

Theresabigdifferencebetweenholdingsociallyacceptable
eye contact and holding eye contact that creates sexual
tension.

Sexual tension comes from looking directly into a womans

pupil.Don'tlookatthecoloredpartofhereye.Don'tallow
youreyeslosefocus.Don'thalfassitandlookinthegeneral
directionofhereyes.Anddonotbouncebackandforthfrom
oneofhereyestotheother.

Youneedtoremaincenteredononeofherpupilsatalltimes.
Decideonaneyethatyouwillalwayslookatandstaythere.
Regardless of the girl, always focus my eye contact on her
rightpupil.

DoNotLookAway.RiskBeingCreepy
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You'regoingtofeellikeyouarebeingacreep.Itwillfeellike
youareinastaringcontestwithher.Orthatyouareoneof
the typical guys who just stares at women but never says
anything.Thatsgood,thatswhatitshouldfeellikeatfirst.In
yourheaditmightfeeltoointense.Buttoheritfeelssexyand
confident.You'llgetusedtoitandevenstarttoembracethe
tension.

ItsBestToJustUseEyeContactWithNoFacialExpression

Eye contact is most effective when its used without much

facial expression. The point is to create sexual tension. But
mostfacialexpressionsbreakthattension.Ifyou'reholding
relativelyintenseeyecontactwithherbutyou'resmiling,its
incongruent.Lessismorehere.Justholdeyecontactwitha
deadpanpokerface.

YoureFocusingYourAttention/EnergyOnHerPupilButIts
NotADeathStare

Youshouldbefocusingonherpupilbutyou'renottryingto
shootlaserbeamsthroughherhead.

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Your eyes should feel relaxed but purposeful. You are

concentratingyourattentiononherpupil.Practiceonadog
orababy.Holdyoureyecontactonthedogorbaby'spupil.If
theystartfreakingout,you'rebeingtoointense.Iftheywarm
uptoyou,yougotitperfect.

KeepYourFocusOnHerEyesEvenIfShe'sNotLookingAt
You

Thisisgold.Icantexplainthewondersitwilldoforspiking
herattraction,youhavetotryitforyourself.

Afteryou'veestablishedgoodeyecontactandrapportwith
her there will inevitably be some point where someone
interruptsyourconversation.Shewillchangeherattentionto
thatpersonbutyoushouldcontinueholdingeyecontacton
hereyes.Evenifshe'snotlookingatyou.Youonlyhavetodo
this for a couple seconds, maybe a 3 or 4 count and then
changeyourattentiontowhoeverisspeaking.Butduringthat
time,shewillfeelyoureyesandattentiononher,andIwould
putmoneyonherbecominginstantlyaroused.

UseBreaksInEyeContactEffectively

Obviously, you cant just stare in a girls eyes all night. The
effect would be lost. But that doesn't mean you should
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randomly break eye contact. When she's in the middle of

tellingyouastoryjustlookdownandaway.Orevenlookup
and watch TV. Just hold your eyes in one location for a bit
whileshecontinuestotalktoyou.Almostlikeyourpondering
something. Maybe you're thinking about talking her home,
maybe you're bored with her, maybe you're thinking about
anothergirl.She'snotsure,butshellmissthefeelingofyour
eyeslookingintohers.

ThePrimateLook

This look is very simple to pull off. It can be dangerous at

times because if youre a man and use it, other men may
respond badly. At the same time its effective and women
sometimesgocrazyoverit.

Justpullyourchininabit,thenmoveyoureyesupward.Look
straightaheadunlessyouseeawomanmakingeyecontact
withyououtofthecornerofyoureye.

TheConvictStare

CharlesMansonhasbeendescribedasusingthisfrequently.

Insteadoflookingintosomeoneseyes,lookatthepartofthe
faceBETWEENtheeyes.
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Onlyusethiswhenyouaretryingtoestablishdominanceover
someone.

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Eyecontacttipsforwomen

Casuallystarenowandthen.Seesomeoneyoulike?Casually
stareatthepersonnowandthen.Soonenough,theoneyou
likewillnoticeyouback.

Exchangeafleetingglimpse.Dontbehastyoryoullendup
looking like an annoying stalker. When the person you like
catchesyoustaringandstaresbackatyouwithcuriosity,lock
eyesforasecondandlookawayimmediately.

Repeattheglances.Lookatthepersonyoulikeagain.Stare
athimorher,butlookawayimmediatelyassoontheylook
back at you. Dont linger and stare back for more than a
secondjustyet.[Read:Firstglancesandloveatfirstsight]

Letthemknowwhatsonyourmind.Atfirst,thepersonyou
likemayassumeitsapassingglance.Butastheycatchyou
sneakingafewglancesnowandthen,theydunderstandthat
youreinterestedinthem.Dontstareformorethanasecond
because youll kill the excitement. Instead, build the
excitement.

Buildtheexcitement.Nowthatyouvegottheoneyoulike
lookingbackatyounowandthentoseeifyourestillstaring,
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itstimetobuildtheexcitement.Stopstaringforacoupleof
minutes.Waitforthemtostareatyounowandthen.

The person you like will wonder why you arent staring
anymoreandmaystarttostareatyoumoreoften,tocheckif
yourestillstaring.Bydoingthis,youreactuallymakingthe
oneyoulikeasinterestedasyouareinbuildingthestaring
game.

Reversetheeyecontactflirting.Noticetheoneyoulikefrom
thecornerofyoureye.Dontstaredirectly,butkeepaneye
onthepersonyoulike.Waitforthatpersontolookatyou.
Andjustastheoneyoulikelooksatyou,starebackatthat
person.Bydoingthat,yourenowdiscreetlymakingitappear
liketheyretheoneinterestedinlookingatyou,andnotthe
otherwayaround.

Stareforalongerduration.Youvebeenexchangingfleeting
glancesuntilnow,butnowthatyouvegottheoneyoulike
excitedly waiting for you to stare back, lock eyes for more
thanasecondbeforelookingaway.[Read:10tipstolooksexy
withouttrying]

Smile and blush. Talk to your friends or appear busy, and

stareforasecondortwo.Andeachtime,lookawaysmiling

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orblushinginanobviousmanner.Dontsmilewhilestaring
justyet.Alwayssmileonlywhilelookingaway.

Watchtheirresponse.Isthispersonlookingatyouasoften
asyourelookingatthem?Iftheyare,itsworkingandyoure
on your way to a fun evening. If the one you like isnt
reciprocatingyourglancesnomatterwhatyoudo,theyrenot
interested,sogiveupandmoveon.Youcantwinallyoureye
contactflirtinggames.

Smilewhilestaring.Nowthatyourecertainthattheoneyou
like is equally interested in staring at you and exchanging
stolenglances,itstimetotaketheplunge.Duringoneofyour
longerglances,lookstraightintotheireyesandstretchalittle
smile.Theresnoturningbackhere.Ifthepersonsmilesback,
youve struck jackpot. If the one youre staring at looks
shocked or looks away hastily, they just need a little more
timetowarmup.

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TheLevelsofEyeContact
ByMarkManson

Eye contact is important, especially in dating and gauging

peoples attraction to you. Everyone should have a basic
understandingofwhateachpersoniseyecodingtheminany
givensituation,anditdoesnttakeacryptographertofigure
itout.Orifitdoes,thenfuckit,Imthatcryptographer.Here
isanentirelyoverlyanalytical,andonlykindajokingguideto
thelevelsofeyecontactandwhattheymean:

Level(1):NoContact(Intentional)Beyondthelowestlevel
ofeyecontact,thisiswhensomeoneisnotonlynotmaking
eye contact with you, but theyre consciously making an
efforttoNOTlookatyou.Intheheightsofsexualintimacy,
Level(1)issubterranean.Itsapersonswayofsaying,Get
awayfromme,creep,without,youknow,actuallysayingit.
Thiseyecontact(orlackthereof)istypicallyreservedforthe
horny mouthbreathers who stare at a girls tits, obnoxious
drunk guys in fullon bromode, the crazed exgirlfriend
stalker,oranyotherpotentialrapistinonesvicinity.Level(
1)eyecontactcanalsooccurwithinaconversation.Sojust
becauseheorsheisrespondingtoyouverballydoesntmean
youre out of the gates yet. Put simply, if someone is
intentionallymakinganefforttoNOTlookatyou,theyrenot
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interested.Itstheantiintimacy.ThenonverbalcueforGive
itup

Thatoryouhavesomemustardonyourface.

Level 0: No Contact (Unintentional) An unintentional

absenceofeyecontactsignalsalackofknowledgeyouexist.
Itmeansnothingotherthantheyhaventnoticedyou.Either
theyrebusyandfocusingonsomethingelse,oryoureabout
asintriguingtolookatasgrandmasnewwallpaper.

Level1:Glance(Unconscious)Anunconsciousglanceisthat
moment when someone looks up at you and then
immediatelylooksaway,althoughtheyrenotawareofwhat
theyrelookingat.Itsbasicallywhentheireyesarewandering
aroundandcoincidentallymeetyoursforamomentandthen
continuewandering.Thekeyhereisthatheorshenotaware
ofthemmeetingandthereforenothingisregisteringtothem
asparticularlyinterestingorenticinginthatmoment.Justlike
Level 0, this level of eye contact is neutral and theres not
much to take away from it. Most people arent paying
attentiontowhattheyrelookingatmostofthetime.

Level2:Glance(Conscious)Thesecondlevelofeyecontact
isthefirsttypeofeyecontactwhereyouvepossiblymadea
positiveimpressiononaperson.Thisiswhenyoureyesand
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theirshappentomeetandthentheylookawayimmediately,
except they look away consciously, whether it be shyness,
awkwardness, or disinterest. Body language studies claim
that a person who breaks eye contact with you by looking
downisintimidated(i.e.,attracted)andapersonwhobreaks
eye contact by looking to the side is indifferent (i.e., not
attracted).Ihavenoideaifthisistrueornot.Butifsomeone
breaks eye contact with me quickly and intentionally, its
usually a polarized response: shes either attracted and is
momentarilymadeselfconsciousbymypresence,orsheis
uninterestedandisavoidingmakingcontact.Mostpeopleare
not comfortable holding eye contact with strangers, what
wouldsignaltheinteresthereisthattheireyesweredrawn
toyouinthefirstplace.Soitsnotthebreakingitsomuch
that is important, whats important is that they consciously
lookedatyou.

DifferentiatingbetweenLevel2eyecontactandLevel1eye
contactissubtleandhardtodoconsistentlywithanysortof
accuracy.Althoughyoudopickupsomeacuityovertime.Its
impossible to ever be 100% certain what her intentions or
reasoning are, so I assume every woman who makes eye
contactwithmeisattracteduntilprovenotherwise.

Agoodexerciseforsomeonewhoisneworshyistopractice
neverbreakingeyecontactwithpeoplebeforetheybreakit
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with you. Walk around all day and make eye contact with
people you find interesting or attractive. Youll feel
uncomfortablemakingeyecontactwithstrangers,butthats
theidea.Keepdoingituntilitfeelsnatural.Itwillhelpyour
confidence.

Level 3: Glance and a Half Level 3 is the first level where

interest is conveyed, ever so slightly. Like the other lower
levels of eye contact, the glance and a half is subtle and
difficulttonoticewithoutalotofpractice.Itswhensomeone
looksatyouandbreakseyecontactastheynormallydo,but
they hold the eye contact for a split second longer than is
normal.Imtalkingmaybe1/4ofasecondlonger.Whereas
Level2eyecontactmaylasthalfasecond,Level3willlast3/4
of a second. Its subtle, its short, and its unconscious.
Humansarewiredtospendmoretimelookingatthingsthey
find attractive on an unconscious level. So in their mind,
theyre still breaking eye contact with you, but in practice,
theyre actually looking at you 50% longer than they would
normally.

IttookmeawhiletostartpickinguponLevel3eyecontact.
Level 3 happens most often when they are consciously
focused on something else, such as on their cell phone or
talking to somebody theyre with. They dont realize that
theyre looking at you as long as they are. Any eye contact
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fromLevel3andabovefromawomanwillgetmetostrongly
considerapproachingthem.

Level4:DoubleGlanceHeresagoodhabittogetyourself
into once youre able to maintain eye contact with people
walking around. Any time you make eye contact with
someoneattractiveandtheylookaway,keeplookingatthem
for another few seconds. A percentage of them will look at
you a second time. In my experience, this is a clear sign of
physical interest. This from a woman almost guarantees an
approach from me, and 95+% of these approaches are
receivedwarmly.

WhatsfunnyisthatevenonLevel4eyecontact,mostpeople
are not conscious that theyre doing it. Ive approached
women who have looked at me twice in a row and I
mentioned that I saw them look at me, and they seriously
didntrememberlookingatme.Iveevensaid,Wedidaneye
contactthing.Wemadeeyecontactlikethreetimesinarow,
you didnt notice? And they didnt or they were lying
scumbags.Eitherway,justgoestoshowhowmostpeopleare
offintheirownlittleworldnotthinkingaboutanyofthisstuff.
Regardless,theunconsciousmindisalwaysseekingoutthings
itfindsinterestingorintriguing,soiftheireyeskeepfallingon
you,itsasign.

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Level5:TheGazeThegazeisthelastlevelthatcanoccur
unconsciously although its usually conscious. This is when
someonelooksatyouandjustkeepslookingatyoupastthe
normallookawaymoment.Thisisasolid23secondsofeye
contact without them breaking it. When undesired, this
becomes the infamous creep stare. But in the cases of
desirablepeoplelookingatyou,thisiswhyitssoimportant
togetinthehabitofbeingabletoholdeyecontact,because
otherwiseyoullmissoutonallofthepeoplegivingyouLevel
35eyecontact.Thegazeisaclearandlargesignofinterest.
Youdbeprettydumbtopassupthissignal.

Level6:TheSmileThesixthlevelofeyecontactisTheGaze
plusasmile.Ifthegazeisaclearsigntellingyouthattheyre
interested,throwingasmileontopofitmayaswellbeaneon
flashingbillboard.IfanattractivegirlgivesyouLevel6andyou
dont approach her, not only are you an idiot, but youre
probably afraid of women and have some serious anxiety
going on. Approaching a person gazing and smiling at you
shouldbeautomatic.

Level 7: The Eye Fuck This is someone who makes eye

contact,holdsit,smiles,andthenneverstops.Theyjustkeep
staring and smiling, and staring and smiling, sometimes for
minutesatatime.Eyefuckingisthefirstlevelofeyecontact
thatmakestheleapfrominterested/curioustotheywant
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to have sex with me. Eye fucking doesnt withhold any

intentions. Its about as much interest as one can possibly
displaythrougheyecontactalone.Ifyougeteyefuckedbyan
attractivepersonanddontactonit,youreprobablyblindor
midseizure.Icantthinkofanyotherreasonableexplanation.

Whenundesired,theeyefuckisexceedinglycreep.Ifyoure
a man and you regularly eye fuck women who do not
reciprocateorsmileback,thenyoulikelyhavepepperspray
inyournearfuture.

Eye fuckers will often end up approaching you if you dont

approach. Although many of them will give up if you dont
approach for a few minutes and assume youre not
interested.Ifyoureamanandawomaniseyefuckingyou,
thehintshouldbeclear:shewantsyoutotalktoher.

Level 8: Dreamboat The dreamboat happens when

someonehasfallenforyou.Thisiswhenyouwakeupinthe
morningtoherstaringatyouwiththatdreamysmilelikeshes
drunk or stayed up all night sniffing glue. Its the way two
peoplelookateachotherwhencuddlingandmakingcutesy
noises while rubbing their noses together. The dreamboat
almostneverhappensbeforeyouvehadsexwithsomeone,
and if it does, theyre either Amish or its a giant red flag.
Usuallyitstartshappeningafteramonthortwointoanew
26

relationship, although it can happen in as little as a couple

nightstogether(orinrarecircumstances,one).

Assumingthefeelingismutual,theDreamboatisamazing.Its
the most validating eye contact a woman can give you.
Centuriesofliteratureandmilliondollarfilmshavethrivedoff
ofwhattheDreamboatstaresignifies.Itswhatwehumans
are obsessed with on some level. And whether we like to
admititornot,itswhatmostofusareafterinthelongrun.
Sowhenyoufindit,enjoyit.

Butifthefeelingisnotmutual,iftheDreamboatisaone
way street, its not always such a pleasant experience.
Unrequitedloveisnofunforanybody.Nobodylikestobreak
aheartandmakethoseeyescry.Justbehonestandupfront,
breakthingsoffwithrespectanddignity,andhopethather
eyesdontmorphinto

Level9:TheCraziesThe10thandfinallevelofeyecontact
cannot be explained as much as experienced. When you
experience The Crazies, a person doesnt even have to be
presenttoseethem.Theyhauntyou.Theyreeverywhereand
nowhere.Itstheguywhowakesyouupbybangingonyour
windowat3AMcryingthatyounevercalledhimback.Orthe
girl who faked being pregnant because she thought itd get
youtogetbacktogetherwithher.Ortheguywhocarvedyour
27

nameintohisarmasabirthdaypresent.Theyretheeyesthat
lookatyouinearnestwhentheysaystheywanttoquittheir
job and move to Tahiti so that you two can be together
perfectlyaloneforever.TheCraziessignifydelusion,hopeless
emotion, and the complete loss of a grip on reality. The
Craziesoftencomewitharestrainingorder.

PeoplewhohaveseenTheCraziesandlivedtotellaboutit,
dosowithalevelofhumilityanddespondence.Mosthave
dealtwiththeirshareofirrationalanddramaticrelationships.
Some have perhaps witnessed The Crazies for fleeting
momentsanenragedgirlfriendwhoranaroundathimwith
abaseballbat,theguywholefther43angryvoicemailsinone
night and these people pass these stories of insanity
aroundalmostasabadgeofhonor.Butthosewhohaveseen
thedepths,lookedintotheeyesandseenthetrueamorous
insanity behind them, like any true veteran they prefer to
keepthepainandhorrorstowedawayintheirhearts,notto
seethelightofday.Theysayallisfairinloveandwar,andin
certain places and at certain times, the two dont feel so
differently. And like any war story, living it and telling it do
neitherjustice.

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