Psychological Monologue Whilst Driving the Olympic Peninsula

by Kyler LaViollette

Driving. Driving. Driving. driving driving driving driving driving DRIVING along the windy
road, up the Olympic Peninsula, past towns that havent seen visitors since the Eisenhower
Administration. Past the Mason-Grays Harbor Counties Public Utility Department Local #2
headquarters, housed in an off-cream-colored bunker-like building. I laugh at the people up
here who complain about socialism when they get their power from a PUD. Rappelling up
the cliff face, feeling like my vena cava is going to burst from fear. Smelling the rotting
organic matter on the beach, and fantasizing about life in the rocks off the coast. I could
carve out a monastery. Get food via rope-and-pulley system. The Cathedral of St. Olaf of
Washingtonia, Large Fucking Rock, Cape Alava, Washington. Driving directions: dont.
Weekly evensong service every Thursday, 10 pm. Coffee, refreshments, orgy available
afterwards.

Have to get my mind out of the gutter! SOCIALISM. Thats better.

Mason, Jefferson, Clallam, along the Juan de Fuca, through Joyce, barely conscious, with
my hiking companion playing Shostakovichs Piano Quintet in the passengers seat.

GOD FUCKING SHIT TURN OFF YOUR HIGH BEAMS YOU GRITS-BRAINED
LOONY

EVERYONE ON THIS BLEEDING PENINSULA DRIVES WITH THEIR HIGH

BEAMS ON

And were crashing back into reality, and nearly into Hood Canal. Were bumping along
Highway 101, sailing through Union and Potlatch at 70 miles an hour. My aforementioned
hiking companion (whos also my best friend) is in the passenger seat, drifting in and out of
the current plane of reality, Sibelius 6th Symphony gently playing on the Bluetooth speaker.
We had just hiked 10 miles in one day, 3.5 of it along a stinking, never-ending beach. My
legs are about to atrophy, or so it feels. We had gotten dinner at a Chinese place in Port
Angeles. It was advertised as the best Chinese place on the Olympic Peninsula. It was delish,
but really? The population of the four counties that make up the Peninsula is only 34.25%
the population of Seattle alone, and thats a generous guess because people are leaving
that area in droves. Its barely bigger than the cities of Tacoma and Spokane. And its
demographics are mostly retired people, sailors, the occasional redneck, and retread forestry
workers. Hardly worth advertising. Meh, that might be a bit cruel. Anyway, we roll into
Olympia, having narrowly escaped death. Adams delirious and I need to get directions
from the highway exit, so I hit the curb. To put it bluntly, hes very awake very fast. I get
home, take two acetaminophen, and collapse in bed. And proceed to dream.

WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?