A GUIDE TO MY OWN LIFE

a meditation journal written by: Ian A. Nelson

Aug. 31, 2016

I find that the slower I think the more I can discover happiness in my
life. Though trial and error over the past two years since Ive began
meditating Ive found as I give myself ample time to get places, let go of the
past, and stay mindful Ive discovered the simplicity of life. Since beginning
our textbook WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE written by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Ive learned from the author that staying mindful is one of the roots of
meditation and happiness. We can all become content with our lives around
us with a mindfull mindset. I will continue to grow this semester.
Sep. 2, 2016
As Ive been reading the book Ive consciously made an effort to stop
for a while and be aware of my own surroundings. As I do this I begin to
realize that all my anxieties are irrelevant and can be put on hold if only for a
few minutes. On page 11 of our text Kabat relates stopping like death. All of
our responsibilities would just evaporate and cease to matter. This is to
imply that we can let go of our worries instantaneously as if we died. We can
do this just by imagining that nothing matters.
As I continue to stop where I am, either in my tracks or in psychology I
become relaxed and worry free. I learn that it is okay to be able to let go of
my worries because I am no different than the trees or the birds. The fact
that I indulge myself in symbolism such as what it means to have a lover, or
what I should do today to please my pursuits and passions can be irrelevant
as we go through life. This feeling, if only held for a moment helps me to
progress calmly and sanely through life.
Sep. 8, 2016
As I continue to exercise my feelings of mindfulness I begin to be able
to hold my place in meditation longer. In the beginning when I started
meditating for the first few times in my life I found that meditation was
inviting because it brought good feelings however I did struggle to keep a
mind full place in my meditations however, now, as Ive been practicing

meditating for this semester I begin to be able to hold my place in

meditation longer.
The longer I meditate, the better the feeling gets. I hardly want to
leave my state of meditation when the time comes to. Because I often set an
alarm to wake from meditation I always come out in grate gratitude for the
feeling that I got from it. I was meditating for a period of 20 minutes this
week and as I did I found that I got less and less distracted and more focused
in on my meditation. This brought a great feeling of spirituality to me
because I was in a higher state than ever before. With more practice I find
that the feelings grow.
Sep. 15,2016
I play the piano in the student center at school often days. Today I
wanted a chance to meditate as well as play the piano. I found a perfect
opportunity to meditate when I realized that my meditation could BE the
piano! I was excited to try it so I went over to the piano and sat down with
the intent of focusing on nothing else but the exercise that I was going to
perform. After meditating I found the piano to be a pleasant meditation. I
concentrated on my single exercise for 5 minutes straight. I suspect that
because my meditation was within something I do every day it was shorter.
Likewise I suspect that the simpler the meditation, the longer I can meditate.
Sep. 27, 2016
I bring the practice of mantra into my meditations and it helps me
become more focused. As I focus in on a single phrase I begin to find
entering the state of mindfulness easier. Because the mantra is repetitive I
find that the feeling of meditation also becomes repetitive (easy to obtain).
Ive enjoyed the mantra because I can use my vocal chords as a meditation
as well as the pattern.
When I use mantra I can also use an affirmation for myself as well as
others. Today as I performed a vocal mantra at home I also used an other
affirmation to send love to those in my life. I felt peace as I gave them love
because I felt strong myself.
Oct. 3, 2016
I start to realize that a mantra doesnt have to be vocal but rather
anything that repeats to help the mind lock into a pattern of mindfulness.

This week Ive been using my breath as a repeating pattern to help me

become more focused on my mindfulness in meditation.
Oct. 5, 2016
This is the book report I did in supplementation of one journal entry.
There are many ways that we can go about our live. We can choose to
approach the most difficulty times we have with fear or courage. Im here to
talk about the things Ive found within the book Wherever You Go, There You
Are written by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Since Ive started reading this book by KabatZinn Ive come closer to understanding what it is inside myself that I consider
peaceful and fulfilling; my own path to happiness if you will. Through reading
the text I was also able to hear some of the authors perspectives on ways to
find happiness, be fulfilled as well as approach our everyday mediation. By
reading this I hope to pose to you some ways that I have grown through
reading the text. If you dig deep and read closely Im sure you can find some
things that apply to you as well.
Mindfulness is the practice of seeing life through our own eyes and
being content with the moment we live in. As Ive come to use mindfulness
in my life Ive found it to be a tool I can use to become at peace with myself.
I realize that it is often hard to be content with our own perspectives and
lives but as I come to exist in the moment I grow appreciative of it, as well as
the other things happening in life at this exact moment.
When we use mindfulness we tend to disregard the past and future and
exist in our present moment. Kabat-Zinn makes this same point in his

chapter titled, What Is Mindfulness toward the beginning of Wherever You Go,
There you are when he says, Mindfulness means paying attention in a
particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.
Here Kabat-Zinn is portraying his view of Mindfulness as an action we take
when we pay attention to the things around us on purpose. I believe that
Kabat-Zinn is implying that sometimes we can get caught up in the things
that arent immediately around us when we start to worry or let our minds
wander. Kabat-Zinn makes the point that Mindfulness is a positive
environmental setting when he continues on to say, This kind of attention
nurtures greater awareness, clarity, and acceptance of present-moment
reality. Here Kabat-Zinn is saying that when we use mindfulness to simply
exist in our present moment we become aware and grateful of our
surroundings.
Like Kabat-Zinn Ive come to appreciate mindfulness for what it is. A
way to approach reality without getting caught up in the things that arent
affecting us at the present moment. Through being mindful these past
couple months Ive become more grateful for my present circumstance and
strong because Ive learned to take every moment of my life as it comes
while being careful not to let fears distract me from the beauty and
inspiration that is always existing around us when we look for it.
As we meditate we become aware of ourselves, our inner emotions as
well as learn to be stronger and connected with our natures. In the book,

Kabat-Zinn prompts readers to try two different meditations, the mountain

mediation and the lake mediation. Both meditations can be performed sitting
up and in the same environment but what makes each amazing is the
uniqueness of both mediations. In the same week that I read through the
chapters reflecting the mediations I set aside time to try each meditation and
give it my full attention while opening my heart to its teachings.
Before I sat to perform the Mountain meditation I took time to stretch
and make my body comfortable often using poses to place my heart above
my head creating a downwards flow of prana I knew I would appreciate
during my mountain meditation that Kabat-Zinn referred to as strong and
stable on page 139 of the text. As I sat down into a comfortable position on
my zafu I prepared myself for a still mediation. As I allowed my mind to
imagine a strong mountain in front of me I painted the scene with snow and
pine trees. Although snow is cold interpersonally, I perceived it as a symbol
for serenity and depth.
After growing comfortable with the scene painted within my mind I
allowed myself to occupy the mountain and its features. The mountain
brought me feelings of great peace and stillness. I absorbed the mountains
energy and ability to stand tall through the storms of my emotions I was
observing from a third person point of view.
I was grateful for the experience of the mountain mediation because I
came to realize that I am able to be this strong while perusing my everyday

things in life. Like a mountain the bad feelings and experiences I have can be
handled from a non-bias third person point of view within myself while I stay
strong and resilient.
A couple days late I read the chapter Kabat-Zinn wrote prompting
readers to try the Lake meditation. Like the mountain mediation I did stretch
before I sat for the lake meditation. I was able to relax and prepare for the
experience. Similar to the first meditation I painted a picture of a beautiful
scene around me. Unlike the first meditation however I filled the scene with
different symbols that meant different things to me. The water I filled the
lake with represented an ability to let the thigs around me not affect me but
become a part of me. Like the water I was able to imagine myself being
permeable but not breakable.
I found that both the mountain meditation and the lake meditation
went in tandem really well because they both became a part of me filling me
with strength and an ability to adapt. As I became a part of the lake
meditation I felt heavy as I imagined the water filling me from the bottom up
settling me into my seat. This was a very relaxing meditation for me because
of the serenity I felt from becoming one with the water.
As we do things that are good, good things will enter our life. This is
what we call Karma. The author defines Karma when he says Karma means
that this happens because that happened. Here the author is implying that
Karma is a reaction to the causes that occur in our lives. Karma can be

thought to be the very things we put into our mind and think about. If we
think about things that make us anxious we will become anxious.
Considering this, we are able to decide what kind of people we are and how
we feel by how we allow ourselves to feel in a state of mindfulness.
Interpersonally, Ive been encouraging myself to be in a state of mindfulness
that reflects both the mountain meditation and the lake meditation. As I fill
my life with strength and versatility with these states of mind I become
peaceful and content.
Though studying this text Ive come to approach my life with peace
and serenity. Ive come to understand our authors point of perspective
regarding mindfulness. This has helped me pursue ways to apply
mindfulness to my own life. Since reading this text Ive grown more grateful
of my surroundings, present moment and current circumstances.

Oct. 8, 2016
I begin to realize that mindfulness can help me to heal from things that
Im currently battling in life. I do hurt much over a bad situation however I
realize that approaching the confrontation is healthy for me. I know that after
I do, mindfulness can help me to be accepting and grateful for my present
moment.
Oct. 20, 2016
Today I am hurt but I stay mindful of my surrounding to keep my mind
tracked on whats significant in my life right now. It also helps me to look up
and see the beautiful things presented around me that I sometimes neglect
because Im caught in the common habit of emotional cycling. Im thankful
that I can exist in my present moment without being hurt too much by the

things around me. I can control my own emotions by observing myself from a
third persons point of view.
Oct. 29, 2016
At first, when I meditate there are many things I think about. I cant
really help how my mind wanders until Ive gotten to a point where I can slow
down my mind enough to let those worldly and earthly matters go. Those
including, things to do, ideas to create, things I see, hear or even what I feel.
Once I have calmed down enough I gain the confidence to let go by realizing
that I can return to those earthly matters after the delighted time I set for
myself to take a moment to let go.
Nov. 5, 2016
After meditating I find that Im prone to more life lessons and
inspiration. I feel that once Ive calmed down my mind I start to look at life as
being both forever spanning as well as only a single moment. When I get into
this state of mind for a number of minutes and return to my life in a calmer
state I realize more things because Im looking at the basic necessities of life.
I realize that breathing is a necessity whereas the newest talent is not. The
talents and creativities pertaining to the left brain and the right brain are
secondary to the things that keep me alive in a healthy body with which to
pursue and navigate my life.
Nov. 8
When choosing a mantra I first that that what I chose had to be
something verbal and auditory but Ive realized that It can be anything. For
my own methods of meditation I find that a mantra really serves a phrase or
pattern to repeat and keep the mind locked in the mediation more than it is
to serve as an affirmation. After realizing this I began to try and other things
that I could use to lock me into the tempo (the meditation). I began to
experiment with the meditation of memorization. A simple pattern could
keep my attention forever. The patterns I found did range from auditory
sounds like birds to a single scale of the guitar. Ive found that most of all,
despite many meditations the best meditation that I prefer doing is the
meditation of the energies within the throat shakra. I love to focus on my
breathing while feeling how the airflow feels on vocal chords. This is a
meditation that I can lock into for my entire meditation.
November 16, 2016

Im beginning to feel like meditating is exercising my attention span

because of the changes Ive seen in my life since Ive started. Ive begin to
understand the lecture better because I lock into the words of the professor
just like a meditation. It feels almost like using a muscle. When Im ready to
concentrate on one thing for the designated time I set aside for it my mind
can immediately go to that place because Ive been to that state before. I
suppose is like muscle memory or taking the path that you have before to
get somewhere. For example, if youve ever driven south to Las Vegas you
might find that months later you still remember how to get there. Its the
same as I meditate. Because Ive meditated before its easier to get to the
state of mind where Im concentrated; even when doing things throughout
my life like driving, writing, and in my class lectures.

Nov. 29, 2016

I realize today that meditation is an important concept when trying to
be productive. To display the opposite Ill give an example Ive noticed in
myself before introducing the solution. Sometimes I begin to get confused
and frustrated because I want to be doing many things at once but I cant.
Often times I want to do my homework and play guitar at the same time but
physically, I cant. Since Ive realized this as a detriment to my lifestyle I
found meditation the answer. You see, in life I can meditate on the things
that I need to do. This lesson is apparent to me seeing it now because, about
a month ago I finished an audiobook about making decision making fast.
Basically, the premise of the book suggested making a list of things to do
and allocating time to do them so we can meditate happily on those things
rather that stressing about them. I am applying this concept to my life
tonight by making a short meditation list.
Dec. 1, 2016
After meditating I become a happier person so when battling stress I
meditate to remind myself of the basic necessities that actually matter. For
example, today I was worrying about the path I would take regarding my
college education. This matter has been wheeling in my mind for quite a few
years and I feel it a normal question for everybody to contemplate at one
point but today it was frustrating me more than usual. I began to meditate
because I knew it could calm me down and help me realize something about
myself that could help me with my decision. I sat conformable on my zafu
and began to breathe. After concentrating on this sensation for what seemed

like just a few minutes I realized that I had been meditating for almost 25
minutes! It was then that I realized I could treat school as a meditation, a
single decision that I didnt have to stress about because I could always
allocate time for my homework or decision making so I could spend my other
times on the things that would trip me up about my school decision.
Dec. 5, 2016
As Im nearing the end of the semester I begin to realize that I wont
have a designated time during the week to meditate. Because of this I set a
schedule and goal for myself tonight to spend 10 minutes meditating each
day and one half hour to spend concentrated on my breath. During my daily
meditations I plan to let the inspiration for a new meditation come to me in
the moment while my weekly meditation is set apart for a specific
meditation, my breath. I think that if Im able to hold that habit of meditation
throughout the entire semester I can set that habit in concrete for my life.
Dec. 7, 2016