Landan Ariail

Mrs. Debock
English 4 Honors
6 October 2016

Same-Sex Parenting
Same-sex parenting is a topic that is becoming more and more controversial every day.
All across the world, people are discussing the different outcomes of children who are raised by
same sex couples. Some people argue same sex parenting with a negative connotation and claim
that children are negatively affected when they are raised by a couple of the same sex. Others
believe that children who are raised by a couple of the same sex would be at no harm because
same-sex couples are no less capable of raising a viable family than heterosexual couples. In
actuality, evidence has proven that same sex couples are equally as qualified to be parents and
successfully raise a family as two parents of the opposite sex.
Unplanned pregnancy is a large element of the controversy regarding same-sex parenting.
Those in favor of same-sex parenting often argue that with unplanned pregnancy not being an
issue, the couples of the LGBT+ community are frequently more motivated and prepared to be
great parents than heterosexual couples are. According to Goldberg in Same-Sex Parenting Is
Beneficial, gay parents tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents
on average, because they chose to be parents (Pappas). With unplanned pregnancy not being a
factor for homosexual couples, it is nearly impossible for same-sex parents to be accused of not
wanting to be parents. In the book Gay and Lesbian Parents, Fields states that same-sex
parenting being intentional is the one thing that makes them different from heterosexual parents
(11). It could be assumed that same-sex parents are much more likely to be engaged and actively

involved in their childs life than many heterosexual parents, given the fact that same-sex parents
deliberately decide to take on the responsibility of raising a child. Another argument regarding
the topic of unplanned pregnancy is that children are more likely to be raised in a split home
when conceived in an unplanned situation. While not always the case, often times, in situations
involving unplanned pregnancy, either one of the parents will be/become absent in the child's life
or the parents will raise the child in separate homes. In Same-Sex Parenting Is Beneficial,
Stacey argues that having two good parents is better than having one good parent (Pappas).
Although that may seem like an obvious statement, many overlook the fact that this includes
same-sex parents as well. With that being said, it is evident that having two devoted same-sex
parents will result in far more positive effects on a child than having just one devoted
heterosexual parent.
The way a child behaves toward his/her parents and peers is a direct result of how he or
she is raised. This is a major component of child development. With the amount of
discrimination that same-sex parents receive, it is safe to assume that most same-sex parents
practice a parenting method that includes teaching and promoting anti-discrimination. This
parenting method will allow the children to be raised with a much more open, honest relationship
with their parents and their peers. In A Family Does Not Have to Include a Mother and a
Father, Friedrichs describes her experience with Shanie Israel and Mary Valentine, a lesbian
couple raising a toddler. The two women believe that by raising their daughter together as a
same-sex couple, that she will grow up in a much more open house hold. This type of
relationship is likely to result in an equal amount of respect for both the child and for each
parent. Fields states in her book Gay and Lesbian Parents, that children raised by same-sex
couples appear to be more forbearing. These kids are also seen as more loving to the other kids

and additionally reverent to teachers and each other (9). This supports the argument that, not only
will the child develop more respect for the parents, but for his or her peers as well. As previously
mentioned, the same-sex parents Shanie Israel and Mary Valentine also hold the opinion that by
contributing to their daughters exposure to the LGBT+ community, they will be providing a
consistent support system for her, thus lowering the risk for social isolation (Friedrichs). Being
exposed to such a diverse group of people at such an early age creates a sense of openness in the
mind of a developing child. This open-mindedness will very likely lead the child to be far more
accepting of his/her peers, despite their sexuality, ethnicity, or financial status; even in a time
with such a vast amount of discrimination.
Lastly, resilience is an important attribute of children raised by same-sex parents. When
same-sex parents display confidence with their sexuality, it sets a positive example for their
children (Kruger et al. 2). Witnessing this kind of confidence acted out on a daily basis by
positive role-models, is exactly what children need in order to learn how to cope with and be
tolerant of the cruel society that we live in today. To be more specific, parents that display a
confident and positive mindset throughout life, teach their children to practice this same
confidence and optimism in every situation possible, rather than just socially. If parents have this
kind of influence on their children, then it can be assumed that the children will view their
parents as an accepting and respectful support system [helping them] develop a more secure
sense of [themselves]. In addition, it also promotes more resilience in the face of the existing
homophobia (Sanders and Kroll). This proves that not only do the gay parents further the
childrens resilience to homophobia in relation to their family, but they also gain resilience to any
form of discrimination or misfortune they may encounter in their lifetime. In the year of 2008,
there were a total of 1,677 sexual orientation-based hate crimes reported in the United States

(Cramer et al. 1). This is only an approximate figure and taking into consideration the number of
crimes that occurred but were never reported, it is very likely that the actual number could have
been much higher. Given that there has been such a high level of violence in the past years, one
can surmise that resilience is an important characteristic to ensue in children being raised in
society today. Especially those being raised by same-sex parents and those who are a part of or
are associated with the LGBT+ community.
Same-sex couples have a great amount of attributions to offer as being parents, as do
heterosexual couples. A comparison between these two parental relationships can not result in
one being better than the other. Although both homosexual and heterosexual couples have a vast
amount of positive attributes to offer their children, the two are also just as easily capable of
putting forth some unfavorable qualities as parents as well. It is undeniable that every situation
and every person, has their flaws, but having flaws is what makes learning and growing possible.
Same-sex parenting may not always have the most positive effects on the child, and sure, there
will be some down-falls, but the same goes for heterosexual parenting. Same-sex couples should
never be denied the right to have a family of their own, and should be treated equally to
heterosexual couples in regards to parenting, by the law and by society as well. While a prevalent
amount of the worlds population continue to maintain the belief that there are negative
repercussions of same-sex parenting, extensive research has shown otherwise. With no evidence
of any major negative effects on the children of same-sex couples, there should be no issues with
homosexual couples wanting to be parents and starting a family of their own.

Works Cited
Cramer, Robert J., Emily E. Wakeman, Joseph F. Chandler, Jonathan J. Mohr, and
Michael P. Griffin. "Hate Crimes on Trial: Judgments about Violent Crime against Gay
Men." Psychiatry, Psychology & Law 20.2 (2013): 202-15. Academic Search Complete.
Web. 26 Nov. 2016.
Fields, Julianna. Gay and Lesbian Parents. N.p.: Broomall, Pa. : Mason Crest, C2010.,
2010. Changing Face of Modern Families. Cat01605a. Web. 26 Nov. 2016.

Friedrichs, Ellen. "A Family Does Not Have to Include a Mother and a Father." Gay
Parenting. Ed. Beth Rosenthal. Detroit: Greenhaven, 2013. Opposing Viewpoints. Rpt. of
"Hey ConservativesGays Are Better Parents than You." AlterNet.org 16 July 2010: n.
pag. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 26 Nov. 2016.
Kruger, Liana, Carien Lubbe-De Beer, and Anna-Barbara Du Plessis. "Resilience in Gay
and Lesbian Parent Families: Perspectives from the Chrono-System." Journal of
Comparative Family Studies 47.3 (2016): 343-56. Academic Search Complete. Web. 26
Nov. 2016.
Pappas, Stephanie. "Same-Sex Parenting Is Beneficial." Parenting. Ed. Roman Espejo.
Detroit: Greenhaven, 2013. Opposing Viewpoints. Rpt. of "Why Gay Parents May Be the
Best Parents." LiveScience.com 15 Jan. 2012: n. pag. Opposing Viewpoints in Context.
Web. 26 Nov. 2016.
Sanders, Gary L., and Ian T. Kroll. "Generating Stories of Resilience: Helping Gay and
Lesbian Youth and Their Families." The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 4
(2000): 433. Edsgao. Web. 26 Nov. 2016. Item Citation: The Journal of Marital and
Family Therapy. Oct 2000, Vol. 26 Issue 4, p433, 10 p. Accession Number:
edsgcl.66270051; Publication Type: Academic Journal; Source: The Journal of Marital
and Family Therapy; Language: Undetermined; Publication Date: 20001001; Rights:
Copyright 2000 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.; Imprint: Blackwell
Publishers Inc.

Wexelbaum, Rachel, Mlis. "LGBT Parenting." Salem Press Encyclopedia. N.p.: Salem,
2013. N. pag. Ers. Web. 26 Nov. 2016. Accession Number: 89677582; Author:
Wexelbaum, Rachel, MLIS; Subject Term: LGBT parents; Number of Pages: 3p.;
Document Type: Article; Publication Type: Encyclopedia; Full Text Word Count: 1851