Student Name: Yeltsin Loango

Total Points: 18/30

1. Topic: Focuses on immigration and the 2016 presidential campaign 3/3
2. Title: The title is both creative and informative. 1/1
3. Thesis: Makes a clear, specific, and debatable argument. Thesis
contains a simple argument, a counterargument, and the supporting
reasons. 2/5
4. Sources: Two scholarly sources are used. 5/5
5. Enriques Journey is discussed somewhere. 0/3
6. Quotes: Quote sandwiches are embedded into the paragraphs. 1/3
7. Development of Paragraphs: Paragraphs are fully developed and well
supported. Topic sentences are used at the beginning of each body
paragraph. 2/3
8. Organization/Coherence: Ideas are organized in a clear way. Transitions
are used to connect sentences and ideas to create a clear flow. 1/3
9. Spelling/Grammar/Mechanics: The paper is virtually free of spelling,
grammar, or mechanical errors. 2/2
10.
MLA format: Paper is formatted using MLA and has proper in-text
citations and a works cited page. 1/2
11.

Page Length: The paper is at least 3 complete pages long. Yes/No

Comments: You have some good ideas here, but your overall
thesis/argument is not clear; you need to be making an argument about
Trump and/or Hillary. The rest of your paragraphs are not united because
your essay lacks an argument. At the end of each body paragraph, you
should remind us of your argument. In your counterargument paragraph, you
are contradicting what I think is your argument; you defend Trumps
immigration polices, but the rest of the essay seems to be leaning toward
Hillarys side. You can acknowledge of the opposing side has made a good
point, but you still have to bring it back to your side. Be sure to sandwich in
your quotes (set them up and explain them). You also need to put in-text
citations after your quotes. Are you actually citing all of the sources in your
bibliography? I dont think you are. Also, this page should be titled Works
Cited. Watch out for comma splices. You have not written a full three pages.