1

Coaching Notes
The Ways of the Alongsider
Introduction
The Ways of the Alongsider is a unique discipleship experience. It is more than a book to
read, a class to teach, or information to gain. The Ways of the Alongsider is designed to
model the life2life disciplemaking experience. Coaching people through The Ways of the
Alongsider is based on the simple expression of R + 2D + 2A = personal change.
R stands for relationships. You are a guide in the discipleship process, coming alongside
people, helping them to discover principles about discipling others. Coaching people
through this material is maximized by doing it one-on-one or in a small group where
relationships of trust and accountability can be developed.
2D is for discovery and discussion. The material is designed for personal discovery not
as lecture notes for a classroom. It is expected that the participants will complete each of
the chapter assignments. Personal study fosters personal discovery, that aha moment
generated by the Holy Spirit. If the material is considered as lecture notes for a class,
discovery is diminished and personal ownership extinguished. Discoveries are meant to
be shared in discussion. Without the exchange of insights and questions, its easy to
settle for a monologue, thwarting true change.
2A describes application and accountability. The Ways of the Alongsider is not an exercise
in gathering information but an application journey. Without application, there is no
blessing or change (James 1:22-25). The Ways of the Alongsider expects people to apply
their discoveries to someone theyre an alongsider to. Were trusting God to turn
theory into practical realities.
Accountability holds peoples feet to the fire. Accountable relationships of trust
encourage follow-through and faithfulness to ones application. A lecture format does
not foster accountability.
To help you succeed as an alongsider coach, this material highlights the learning goals
for each chapter, identifies the critical questions to discuss, and gives direction for
review and accountability. The alongsider adventure begins when you recruit a friend
or a small group to engage in this study together. Remember, R + 2D + 2A = change.

Chapter One - The Way of the Amateur

Learning goals
1. Introduce concepts of alongsider ministry and life2life.
2. Assess where people are in commitment and skill in making disciples.
Draft 3/4/2010 by Bill Mowry. No duplication without permission.

Discussion questions
How do you feel about the concept of a ministry amateur?
How can being an amateur free people for discipling others?
What pictures hang in your mind about making disciples?
What is your response to the idea of an alongsider?
How do you feel about becoming an alongsider to someone?
How is life2life ministry different from other ministry approaches?
Who has ministered to you in life2life ways?
Why do you think disciplemaking is so important the church growth?
Which approaches on page 6 (traditional verse way of the alongsider) do you feel
most comfortable with?
Consider the description of an alongsider on the top of page 6. Do you see yourself
making disciples in this way?
Complete the assessment on page 8.
What strengths did you discover?
What are some areas of growth for yourself?
What is one goal you would like to have in studying this material?

Chapter Two - The Way of Life

Learning goals
1. Clarify biblical concept of being a friend of God.
2. Establish relationship between a close walk with God and fruitfulness in ministry.
3. Expose and practice several tools in having an appointment with God.
Discussion questions
Explore together #1, 2, 4, 5, 7-9, 12, 13
Explore the practice of friendship by discussing questions 14 -15.
Review together Appendix B, C, D.
Application
Review Alongsiders Take Action assignment on page 13. Discuss their application.
For some, the practices found in the Appendix may be elementary. People may
already have a rich walk with God. If thats the case, they should become familiar
with these approaches in order to help someone else get started. Emphasize that
this chapter may not be for you but for the person you will be an alongsider to. For
most people, cultivating a daily appointment with God can be the first step in the
discipleship journey.

Chapter Three - The Way of Intentionality

Learning goals
1. Grow in understanding of the great commission in Matthew 28:16-20.
2. Introduce concept of generations.
3. Describe a disciple.
4. Begin work on identifying an alongsider circle
Review
Discuss together the Alongsider Checkup on page 20.
Discussion questions
What do you think about how Jesus thought big but started small?
Do you think your church has this vision?
Discuss questions 1-5.
Read Matthew 28:16-20. What discoveries did you make about this passage from the
material?
Discuss #8.
How do you respond to the idea of generations? Is this a new or old concept for you?
Who were the generations that invested in your life?
One action assignment is for the group to draw a picture of a disciple from their
discoveries in #15. Bring in a large piece of paper and create together a picture of a
disciple.
Discuss #16
Discuss #18
Application
Important! Discuss together their responses to Appendix E (page 68-69). The Alongsider
material is just information without practical application in the life of another. Its
important to encourage people now to begin identifying someone that they can be an
alongsider to. Over the next two weeks, pray with them for one person that they can
come alongside of to help become a wholehearted follower of Jesus.

Chapter Four - The Way of Prayer

Learning goals
1. Enhance motivation for prayer.
2. Discover macro picture of prayer in prayer lives of Jesus and Paul.
3. Practically apply principles of prayer in their prayer lives as alongsiders.

Review
Discuss together the Alongsiders Checkup on page 24.
Discussion questions
How would you describe the importance of prayer in your life?
What did you learn from the example of Jesus prayer life?
Discuss questions #2 - 3.
Discuss questions #6 - 8.
How can the prayers of Jesus and Paul inform and shape your prayer life?
Jesus and Paul parted the heavens with their macro prayers. They focused on the
big picture of the Christian life. What can you discover about the big picture of
prayer (macro prayer) from their prayer examples?
What is the typical micro prayers of most people? (hint: finances and health).
Why is macro prayer so important to the prayer life of an alongsider?
Review the summary box (#9) on page 24.
Application
Discuss #10 -11 together.

Chapter Five - The Way of Relationships

Learning goals
1. Establish biblical importance of relationships.
2. Distinguish between vulnerability and transparency.
3. Encourage one practical application of authenticity.
Review
Discuss together the Alongsider Checkup on page 30.
Discussion questions
When we think about discipling others, how important is the friendship factor in our
thinking on disciplemaking?
How did Jesus establish relationships in the ordinary routine of His life (discuss
questions #1 - 2)?
Discuss questions #3, 5.
Discuss question #6.
Discuss questions #9-11.
How would you distinguish between transparency and vulnerability?
If youre not practicing authenticity with people, how will your ministry as an
alongsider be affected?
Why do you think the church often substitutes programs for authentic relationships?

Help people experience authenticity by having them share their timelines from the
assignment on page 30. You could ask people to do this same assignment with the
people theyre an alongsider to.
Application
Discuss together the Alongsiders Take Action on page 30.

Chapter Six - The Way of Depth

Learning goals
1. Identify strengths and weaknesses in listening.
1. Discover the five levels of communication.
2. Practically apply these levels to alongsider relationships.
Review
Discuss the Alongsider Checkup on page 35.
Discussion questions
How would you describe your ability to go deep with people?
How do you know when a depth of relationship has occurred?
What did you discover about your good and bad listening habits?
Why is listening so important to going deep with people?
What do you listen for in discipling another? Discuss list on page 32.
How familiar are you with the five levels of communication?
Discuss questions #3 - 7.
Discuss question #8 - 9.
Application
Discuss together the chart on top of page 35 (question #10)
Discuss together the action steps they will take with one friend this week.

Chapter Seven - The Way of the Word

Learning goals
1. Discover and discuss the hand illustration.
2. Describe the importance of the Scriptures in discipling another.
3. Practice a simple tool for meditation.
Draft 3/4/2010 by Bill Mowry. No duplication without permission.

Review
Discuss the Alongsider Checkup on page forty.
Discussion questions
Discuss the priority of the Word in Jesus life (question #1).
Discuss #2.
Review the word path in #3 and discuss #4.
Discuss #5.
Share answers to #6.
How would you describe the importance of meditation on the word in your life?
What practical tools do you use to meditate on the Scriptures?
Review the observation-investigation-application process of pages 39-40. How can
this process help you meditate on the Word?
Do the process of meditation together. You could spend time meditating on Joshua
1:8, Psalm 1:1-3, Psalm 119:1-5, or Colossians 3:16-17. Choose one passage to
meditate on together.
Application
During this next week, when is a time that you could use this meditation process? What
passage of Scripture will you meditate on?

Chapter Eight - The Way of Discovery

Learning goals
Establish the importance of personal discovery in discipling others.
Describe the power of good questions in being an alongsider.
Identify the importance of making practical application.
Review
Discuss together the Alongsider Checkup on page 48.
Discussion questions
How did Jesus demonstrate a diverse teaching style?
How do you feel about teaching being a process of discovery and not just a
traditional lecture?
Would you agree/disagree about the churchs emphasis on the direct (formal)
approach to teaching?
Why do you think discovery is important to discipling others?
What are some examples of how Jesus demonstrated the discovery process with his
disciples?

Discuss #1 - 2.
Review the question ladder. On this ladder, what types of questions do you typically
ask?
How does the question ladder help you ask different types of questions?
Why is a diverse set of questions important to ask as an alongsider?
Practice together. Pick a topic (being a friend of God, evangelism, serving people, etc.)
and go up the ladder asking questions about this topic. Place the topic in the blank
spaces of the question ladder.
Discuss questions #5 - 6.
Review the three Ps on page 47. Is this a new approach for you in making
application?
How can this simple process help you personalize the word?
What was helpful about the specific ways to make an application in center of page 47.
Application
Discuss together the Alongsiders Take Action assignment.

Chapter Nine - The Way of Change

Learning goals
1. Identify as a change agent.
2. Describe what real biblical change looks like.
3. Discuss the process of change in persons life.
Review
Discuss together the Alongsider Checkup on page 55.
Discussion questions
How do you feel about being the Holy Spirits change agent?
Discuss #1, 3, 4.
What is the difference between inner change and outer performance?
How can we focus on outer performance rather than inner change?
What does the Bible teach about our role in the change process of anothers life?
What can help balance our work with the work of the Holy Spirit?
How do you respond to the ordinary things the change agent does on page 52?
How can these principles help you in being an alongsider?
What can you learn from the example for Sue on page 52?
What did you discover about the change pathway on page 53?
Application
Complete together #5.

Appendix I provides resources for discipling another. Review the list together. What
other resources could you add? Which ones can be helpful to now use in your
alongsider ministry?

Chapter Ten - The Way of the Insider

Learning goals
1. Understand Biblical concept of the insider.
2. Discuss process of evangelism.
3. Establish personal circle of influence.
Review
Discuss Alongsider Check Up on page 62.
Discussion questions
Why do you think most church growth is by addition rather than by conversion?
How would you describe the growth of your church?
What do think about the vision of being an insider?
Discuss #1- 3.
Discuss #5, 6.
Discuss circle of influence in #8.
How could you grow your circle of influence?
Is thinking about evangelism as a process a new or familiar truth for you?
How has your personal faith experience demonstrated evangelism as a process?
Discuss #9, 10.
How did you answer #11?
Application
Discuss An Insider Application #12 - 15.
To summarize the truths from this book, ask people to review The Alongsider Pledge
on page 63. Review with them the boxes that they checked.

Draft 3/4/2010 by Bill Mowry. No duplication without permission.

Additional copies of The Ways of the Alongsider can be purchased on-line at:
www.artfulministry.com. For information about sponsoring an Alongsider Coaching
Clinic, contact Bill Mowry at artfulministry@yahoo.com.