Autoethnography 1

Reflections on Multicultural Competence Development

Jeffrey Eng

Seattle University

SDAD 5400

Professor Yamamura

September 24, 2015

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Thinking back to my Kindergarten through Twelfth grade, my experiences from what I

can tell were very similar to many other Asian Americans growing up in the east coast, that

didnt live in major cities, that we we spent much of our grade school years trying to conform

and fit in. It was not until my later years in high school that I started to really analyze and dissect

what it meant to be an Asian American male growing up in a predominately white neighborhood.

The Katonah-Lewisboro School District is what you would consider a high achieving, with a

high number of students who went on to pursue post-secondary education. There was an added

layer to this high expectation model that was my racial ethnic identity. It is a commonly held

stereotype that Asian Americans are hard workers, and excelled in their coursework particularly

in the math and sciences. I both fortunately and unfortunately align closely with these

stereotypes as I was a student who received both good grades, and had a particular fondness for

the math and sciences. I was not aware of it at the time how these racial stereotypes, and the idea

of being the model minority really put a toll on me emotionally and psychologically. Often I

would believe that I was less than, or not Asian enough when I did not meet those

expectations. These stereotypes really limited my ability to look at myself critically, and the

systems of oppression that existed that silence my voice as a person of color. My desire to fit in

and not stand out was an example of internalized racism, where I was afraid of expressing and

even ashamed of my cultural background.

It was not until my senior year in high school that I really started to take a deeper look at

my racial identity. I cut many ties to my established friend group who were continually doing me

harm by the offensive things that they called me, and which I had accepted in the past as being

okay. One of the few positive things that I can identify from my high school experience was

when I found the courage to break my silence and stand up for myself. I didnt know it then, but
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this initial step to challenge the status quo would follow me into college as I explored my

multiple identities and their intersections.

In terms of my family, I grew up with a mom, dad and two siblings. Growing up my

parents worked very hard to support us and because of this we rarely saw them. My parents did

sacrifice a lot to make sure that we were happy, and had everything that we wanted. I didnt

understand or truly appreciate what they had done for us until I started to reflect on it in college.

Both of my parents immigrated here from China and owned a Chinese restaurant called Peking

City in my home town Katonah, New York. As I grew up, I discovered many cultural differences

between my family and my friends families. For example, my parents valued saving, not being

wasteful, appreciating what you have, and respecting your parents. That last value was the

hardest for us to understand. My siblings and I were taught in school, and by dominant white

society to be individualistic, while my parents valued conformity and respect. They didnt

understand why we would always get into arguments, rather than just accepting their word as

final. Respect to them meant doing as you are told by your elders, which I use to challenge.

Many of the values that my parents taught me, I do incorporate in my own life today. Being

Asian American means that I live with dual identities as both Asian and American. I incorporate

aspects of both cultures in my life, while simultaneously not fitting into either. This issue is not

unique to just Asian Americans, but for many marginalized communities growing up in America.

When I entered college, I viewed it as a time to start fresh and reinvent myself. I no

longer wanted to be that shy and subordinate individual that I was, but instead someone better.

The place that I did the most exploration into my identities was when I joined the Asian

American Student Union. For the first time ever, I was able to listen and relate my narrative to

others. It was a powerful experience knowing I was not alone. Another thing that I did was I got
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in touch with my cultural roots by joining, and later running our Lion Dance team. I learned

about the cultural significance of the lions, and was able to teach that to others in the community.

Our group also attended the East Coast Asian American Student Union conference (ECAASU),

and that was the first time that I ever experienced being in the same space with thousands of

other Asian American college students. The workshops that I attended taught me much about the

challenges that we as a community faced. For example, the term Asian encompasses an entire

continent of people with vastly different languages and cultures, but yet we are treated as one by

the government and society. How do we as a community find common ground and stand in

solidarity when we dont even know where to begin? Finding community and creating safe

spaces is one of the things that I believe is very important, in order to talk about these issues on

college campuses.

What I found challenging about being a part of AASU and the other affinity groups was

that they felt very much siloed. As a result, I believe that I failed to explore identities that were

different than mine. I was so wrapped up in only looking at my own identities that I failed to

challenge myself to get outside my comfort zone. To be multiculturally competent means not just

understanding your own identities and privilege, but understanding cultures that are different

than your own. It is especially important for multicultural affairs professionals to not only create

safe spaces for students to talk about issues, but to also foster cross-cultural communication

between affinity groups.

I feel that I have a basic understanding on what obstacles Students of Color face on

college campuses. As a student affairs professional, I do not believe that you need to have a

thorough understanding of all identities, but you do need skills in like cultural sensitivity in order

to be able to best serve a diverse student population. From what I have learned so far, institutions
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of higher education were originally constructed for white men that held a high social class, and

some of the elitism and exclusivity still exists today. The demographic of higher education is

changing quickly as institutions play catch up on how to create a campus climate that is both

diverse and inclusive. As a result, retention rates for Students of Color are typically poor in many

institutions. Many students are coming in ill equipped to handle the academic rigor, and are

unaware of the resources that they are entitled to use on campus. Students of Color do not come

in with the same social capital as white students, which can severely limit their support structure.

Although not only applicable to Students of Color, finding a strong sense of community on

campus plays a big role on student persistence and success, especially for those coming in from a

diverse to less diverse environment. One such program that attempts to provide these kinds of

support at UVM is called the Summer Enrichment Scholars Program, which is a summer-bridge

program for incoming first year students who identified as African, Latino(a), Asian, Native

American (ALANA), bi/multi-racial, first generation, and/or low-income in which I was a peer

advisor. This program runs through our ALANA Student Center as a program for retention of

marginalized students on campus. Students in the program took classes, worked on campus,

learned about campus resources, and built community in their cohort. As valuable as I felt the

SESP program was for students to experience, it pains me to think back on how many students

end up leaving UVM in their first year. I do not know the statistics on how successful the

program was in retaining these students, but I believe it must vary greatly year to year. Many of

these students end up having to leave because of financial reasons, which is ironic because the

institution itself allocated resources to support these students in the SESP program. The major

limiting factor for these students was financial aid. This issue is not unique, but does

disproportionally affect communities of color who typically grow up with less means. I believe
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that in some ways the SESP program and UVM as a whole is doing a disservice for these

students. It is unethical to give students the sense that they are valued and supported on campus,

while simultaneously creating these financial barriers that make it impossible for them to

succeed. It is a problem that the field of student affairs face as we try to strike a balance between

offering support, and being transparent when working with marginalized communities.

As important as it was for me to develop understanding around my multiple identities

during college, and my experiences working with a diverse group of students in the SESP

program, I lack the theoretical framework to understand where students are developmentally. As

important as it is to compare and contrast narratives among Students of Color, that alone is not

enough to implement institutional change. You need to understand what the current research is,

and know what the best practices are in order to receive funding for programming and support

services for students.

What I hope to get out of this class, and the SDA program in general is to be able to move

my understanding beyond just using my personal narrative to relate to Students of Color. I

believe that theory plays a crucial part in developing my ability to advise a diverse range of

students. In addition, understanding the broader context on how institutions were constructed in

the past, and where it is heading in the future will be important as the demographic landscape of

higher education grows increasingly more diverse. One of the challenges that I believe I will face

in the SDA program as it relates to my multicultural competency is how I will communicate my

knowledge of theory and research to other professionals to institute change. Since the field of

student affairs is so relational, I feel that I need further development in my interpersonal skills in

order to be an effective practitioner.

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