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Section 1

When I think about my general interpersonal skills, certain adjectives and qualities come
to mind. I think that I am opinionated, quick thinking, focus much on seeing results, and I am
very understanding. I have very strong values and opinions and I am not easily influenced by
others. I like to work ahead, I think ahead and I always focus on the results and reaching goals.
I am also very understanding, I am socially aware and I can understand anyone even if they are
very different than me, I can piece people together very quickly. I think overall I am
understanding and trustworthy towards others. I would say my biggest strength to my
interpersonal skills would be that I can always keep an open mind towards other peoples
differences or controversies. Even though I am very opinionated and have my own values, I can
very easily understand other peoples sides and no matter what my beliefs are I keep a clear and
open mind to not block my judgement. I also would say another strength is that I set good
example, I would never encourage someone to do something unless I did it myself, I think
leading by example is very important. One of my weaknesses I would say is coaching others. I
have noticed this in the workplace especially. If there is a problem, I like to step in and solve it
myself, I feel that I can handle it faster and more efficiently than others. I need to improve on
coaching others in the moment and teaching them as we are faced with it, instead of waiting
until I resolve it to tell them.

Rating myself on a specific behavioral competencies scale was very eye opening. There
were so many different qualities to consider while doing self evaluation.

A. Ability to listen and convey empathy: I would rate myself as a 7. I think I am a very good
listener, and I can hear people out and understand quickly. I can be very empathetic
especially with my close friends and family but with others who I am not very close with I
dont like to be very dramatic or empathic. I think it is best to keep things light and
professional.

B. Demonstrates compassion, consideration and caring for others: I would rate myself as a 6.
Again in my personal and close relationships I am very caring and considerate towards
people. But in general I dont believe that I am very compassionate mainly because of how I
was raised and who I developed to become. I keep an attitude that is more like lets just
move forward and get over it because I dont think dwelling on things benefits anyone.

C. Ability to understand and communicate effectively with people who see the world
differently: I would rate myself as a 9. I believe that this is one of my strongest abilities
because I am able to keep an open mind and understand people and their viewpoints even if
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they are not the same with mine. I am very good at communicating, I am good with my
words and talking to people and connecting on an emotional level. I know that everyone is
different, raised differently, and have different thoughts and opinions based on their
lifestyle.

D. Building trust and credibility: I would rate myself as a 7. In general I feel that I am very
trustworthy and credible because I always stay true to my values and who I am. I would
never do anything to go against my ways to try to get someone to trust me, I would never
deceive people. I feel that most of these qualities are different depending on if it refers to
close relationships, compared to professional relationships or people you dont know very
well.

E. Skill at cultivating relationships: I would rate myself as a 5. When I get to know people, and
find people that I really do value having in my life and being close with, I go above and
beyond to build those relationships. However, I am shy when it comes to people I have not
met or do not know, and I do not go out of my way to build relationships with people who
just come and go from your life. One of my theories is that we are all on the bus, people
come and go and some people stay. In general most people will leave because our lives
constantly change and I don't feel that it is worth is to try to cultivate with people who you
will only associate with temporarily.

F. Demonstrating an awareness of own style and how it affects others, and make adjustments
as necessary: I would rate myself as a 9. I think this kind of goes hand in hand with question
C. I am very self-aware and and have a high social awareness. I am very aware of who I am
and how my style affects other people because I can read peoples reactions quickly. I can see
when people are different or uncomfortable and I can easily show an understanding
viewpoint in order to adjust to how other people work.

G. Developing and maintaining positive relationships with others: I would rate myself as an 8.
I think that I am a very good friend, I go out of may way to show others that I value their
friendship in my life and how important I think other people are and in general, how
important a healthy social life is. It is important to keep family and close friends close, but
still keep a large outer circle of relationships.

H. Demonstrates flexibility and adaptability: I would rate myself as an 8. I think this is one of
my strengths because I adapt to change very quickly and I understand that everything is
always constantly changing, I do not fear change. I think generally a lot of people are
uncomfortable with change or it scares them. I think the only way to be successful in life is
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to be able to be flexible and adaptable because it is easiest in the long run. I once had a
teacher constantly say to our class are you with us or against us this has stuck with me. It
is always right to be with, than go against. Keep adapting to go with the ways because if you
go against it will slow you down.

I. Works to build others values with positive impacts to all: I would rate myself as a 5. I have
very good intentions, I will not deny that. I want everyone to be happy and positive, because
its just life, whats the point of life if we are not happy? The reason I rate myself lower is
because I focus on myself, I think taking care of myself is most important because it is all
that we can do. I think if you focus to hard on building other people up, than you are not
focusing on yourself. And the truth is, we can only ever change ourselves we cannot change
other people.

J. Self-knowledge and self awareness: I would rate my self as a 9. I also feel that this question
goes a long with C and F. This has always been one of my strengths I am very self aware and
self knowledgeable because I work so hard to stay true to who I am. I know exactly what I
like, exactly what I want in life, and I know why I want to achieve my goals. Even though I
am scared sometimes and life can get very hard, I never lose sight of why I continue to work
so hard.

K. Ability to keep an open mind regarding controversial issues: I would rate myself as a 9. This
question is similar to C and F as well. The skills are essentially the same. I am very good at
seeing other peoples viewpoints even if I do not personally agree with them. In life, people
will do a lot of things you dont agree with, and you will be faced with many controversial
issues. The best thing we can do is keep an open mind because if we dont, then we shut
down and start even more conflict. Go with, not against.

L. Ability to separate emotions from facts in conflict situations: I would rate myself as a 9. I
think this is one of my strengths as well because I understand that we as humans are all
emotional, it is what makes us stand apart but also what can make us very weak. We have to
be able to separate emotions from facts or else we become extremely illogical in conflict
situations. If we focus on our emotions then we are blinded and cannot see the real deal. I
am able to understand my feelings are my feelings, and the truth is the truth.

M. Resolving differences between people using persuasion, diplomacy and logic: I would rate
myself as 9. I think I am high on this scale because I have always been logical. We face
many problems and conflicts and you have to be able to use valid and logical reasons in
order to resolve differences that people feel. I also feel that I am very persuasive because I
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have strong beliefs and reasons for everything that I say and do, I can back up anything I say.
I really don't like when people argue and disagree because I feel like it so much easier and
healthier to get a long. Its okay that we have differences, were supposed to.

N. Effectively handles conflict preserving good relations: I would rate myself as a 7. I can
handle self conflict and my own problems, because I strongly focus on taking care of myself.
However I can work on this with other people, by trying to be more patient. I think it is
important to resolve conflict because keeping close relationships to us is all we can really do.
I do get impatient when I see that other people are so one sided, so I can improve on talking
to them and trying to show them even if we have different beliefs, we can still find common
ground.

I would say I have an easy time relating to others. I meet a lot of people, I know a lot of
people and overall I think I do a good job to reaching out and trying to understand people. At
work, I work with others who have completely different personalities, different work styles,
different backgrounds and beliefs. When I first started I wasnt used to this. I soon learned that
getting to know others is fun, being around people who are different than you makes you
smarter and more aware. I have built good relationships with these people and I am happy to
see that we have a positive vibe and have fun together. Another things is my close friends, my
really good friends and myself really do not have much in common. We like to spend our
personal time doing very different things and yet we are still so close, and still have so much fun
spending time together. We can really like to talk and listen to music and go out for late nights
in the city. We like to laugh and make jokes about everything. Besides that none of my friends
like to workout like I do, they do not enjoy writing and writing poetry like I do, they are in
serious relationships and I dont want that right now, their families are very different than mine.
None of these differences ever made it an obstacle for me, we realized that no matter how
different we are we still enjoy talking together, analyzing the world, and having fun.

If I had to chose three things that would help improve my interpersonal skills, I would
say that I am shy, I am impatient and I have trouble accepting help. I wish I could be more
talkative when I meet new people or when I am out with bigs groups of people. I still get shy
and I hope to practice starting conversations with people who my friends or others introduce me
to. Its always hard to go out of your way and be the bigger person, I want everyone even people
I just met to understand how funny and big hearted I am, instead of being shy. I also need to
accept that patience is important in life. Certain things take time, certain things cannot be
rushed, and I cant speed anything up. I always want to see results right away but I need to
accept that things will take time and that is okay. The third is accepting help because of how
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independent I have always been. I like to handle everything on my own, I like to solve my own
problems and do things for myself. Though this has a lot of benefits, I should sometimes put
less stress on myself and take help when people offer. When my mother or my friends see I am
stressed and going through a lot they try to offer support and I always tell them that I can handle
it on my own. I have no problem opening up to others and telling them how I feel, but I am
resilient to taking offers.

Overall I think I am able to identify with my strengths and weaknesses in a positive way.
I think interpersonal skills and social skills are very important in life and forming good
relationship is a huge role in being successful. I believe I am self aware and that I have a very
good understanding who I am, in general I am very satisfied with the relationships I have with
my friends, my co worker, and my mom and brother. I value spending time with people very
highly and I think it is also very fulfilling and what makes me feel happy. There are areas for
improvement and I hope that with time I will learn. The more we experience in life the more we
learn, and learn about ourselves. I hope as I get closer to finishing school and moving on to
much bigger things in life I will learn more from my experiences so I can grow into the person I
hope to be.

Section 2

I have always believed that it is very important for people to self-reflect and identify their
personality traits and characteristics. Even when it may be difficult for some to be honest with
themselves, you can learn a lot about yourself through reflection. We all have certain qualities
that we have had our entire lives that determine who we are and influence many of the decisions
we make. I personally really enjoyed this assignment because I did gain new insight on myself.
I learned a lot and also saw common trends in my life and my qualities. The main realization
that I had was that I have always been goal oriented and I am seeking out achievement in my
life. This made me happy to see that I am always working to move forward, advance in my life,
and plan for my future. Even when I face obstacles and set backs, I never lose sight of the bigger
picture. Even though I may have acknowledged this previously, I have not really thought about
it much until this class activity. Im always so focused on going to work, going to school,
studying, planning ahead, paying bills; all sorts of distractions. I never sat down by myself and
thought about evaluation my qualities and personalities traits. It was nice to be reassured that
no matter how much is changing in my life, how much I have changed, that my stingiest values
and beliefs have always stayed the same.

In general I would not say that there were any surprising results from this interview. I
also noticed that my personal results very very similar to the results of when I interviewed my
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brother and one of my very close friends. I think this was a very great exercise and really made
me think, but I was definitely not surprised. I think just because I do have high self-awareness
and high self-knowledge I was able to understand all of these questions and I could think of
specific examples in my life to justify them. Like I mentioned earlier I am very honest with
myself, I know exactly what my good qualities are and exactly what I would like to improve on.
There was no questions or response that I was surprised by, there was no response that I didnt
agree with. I had a very clear idea of what my interviewees responses would be, and I was able
to answer the questions honestly and clearly with myself.

If I did this again there were a couple things that I could have done differently to obtain
better information on my own personal tendencies. First of all I feel that if I interviewed
someone who didnt know me so well, it would of been more interesting. Especially for me who
have such a strong view of who I am, I think it would of been more helpful to interview someone
from work, or even a distant relative who doesnt talk to me every single day or know everything
about me. My brother and my friend Tony are so close with me and they understand my so well.
They know exactly who I am and would never do anything to change that, they think highly of
me as well. If I chose someone who I am not close with, I would of liked to see what someone
from the outside thinks. Would they still agree with my answers? Would their responses be
much different since they have not had these personal encounters with me? I also feel that I
would change some of the questions or group some together. I felt a lot of this activity was
repetitive and that I was answering similar responses to a lot of my questions. My brother and
Tony also agreed, they kept saying you already asked me this or thats the exact same as the
last question which I thought the same thing. Self reflection is key, but ing general there are
only so many different aspects to address.

To be completely honest I dont thing that I will really think differently after doing this
activity. Every skill that I want to work on, I have addressed previously in my life and know
exactly where I would like to improve. I also know my strengths and I have kept those with me
at all times in order for me to be successful and keep working towards my goals. Interviewing
the two other people didnt give me any new insight because I feel like we have talked so much,
and we talk so deeply about who we are, who we want to be, and we are all at this time in our
lives where we are entering adulthood and want to figure it out. I would say the only main
difference is that my brother and my friend dont think that I am shy, but that is because I would
never be shy around them because we are so close. When I go out with my brother or Tony we
just talk to everyone, its easier with them. When I am alone I feel shy. I feel that I have enough
people in my life who I am so close to that I can openly discuss my thought, my dreams, my
failures, just everything about who I am with. Maybe for other people who are not as self-aware
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this activity was more beneficial. But I know I will not do anything differently after this, because
there was nothing that really surprised me, or any area that I saw was a big weakness that would
affect my life or my future.. This did encourage me to keep working on skills that need
improvement, like my shyness and impatience, and sometimes working with others. I have
noticed a long time ago what my weaknesses were so I will keep working hard to try to mature
and better myself. Again, I think I could have gained more insight from interviewing people
who dont know me but that also kind of defeats the purpose of the activity.

INTERVIEW GUIDE (7 questions)

Interview # __1__

Person Interviewed: Dan

Relationship: Brother

Questions:

1. When you think about my general interpersonal skills, what are some adjectives or phrases
that come to mind that are good descriptions?

sociable, opinionated, you work fast, understanding, you always have goals, sincere
"
2. What do you consider to be my greatest strengths in this regard?

I think your motivation to not give up, no matter what happens and how hard things get you
still have hope in something better. You also always know who you are and you have sting
opinions.
"
3. What do you consider to be my greatest weaknesses or areas for improvement?

Youve always been very impatient, you always want to do things faster and you hate waiting.
"
4. Specific Behavioral Competencies (on a scale of 1 to 10 10 being highest):
"
a. Ability to listen and convey empathy. Rating: __9__ Comments:
"
b. Demonstrates compassion, consideration and caring for others. Rating: __5__
Comments:
"
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c. Ability to understand and communicate effectively with people who see the world
differently. Rating: __8___ Comments:
"
d. Building trust and credibility. Rating: __7___ Comments:
"
e. Skill at cultivating relationships. Rating: __7___ Comments:
"
f. Demonstrating an awareness of own style and how it affects others, and makes
adjustments as necessary. Rating: __10___ Comments:
"
g. Developing and maintaining positive relationships with others. Rating: __8___
Comments:
"
h. Demonstrates flexibility and adaptability. Rating: __9___ Comments:
"
i. Works to build others' value with positive impact to all. Rating: ___6__ Comments:
"
j. Self-knowledge and self-awareness. Rating: __10___ Comments:
"
k. Ability to keep an open mind regarding controversial issues. Rating: __8___
Comments:
"
l. Ability to separate emotions from facts in conflict situations. Rating: __8___
Comments:
"
m. Resolving differences between people using persuasion, diplomacy and logic.
Rating: __8___ Comments:
"
n. Effectively handles conflict, preserving good relations. Rating: __7___ Comments:
"
5. Have you observed any specific instances in which I have effectively adapted my behaviors
in order to relate more effectively with others who have different personalities, cultural
backgrounds, perspectives or beliefs? Please elaborate.
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I think that you have a great ability to make friends with people who are completely different
than you. Youre friends didnt have much in common with you, but it never stopped you from
becoming so close with others. I think thats one or best qualities because you are so accepting
of people and willing to give everyone a chance. I just think you have been in so many
situations where you have to interact with people from all different backgrounds. I wouldn't
really say you had to adapt your behaviors I think thats just who you are, you can relate to
anyone. I think even with your close friends I see this. Most of your friends dont have a lot of
things in common with you but you still all get along and have a lot of fun.
"
6. If you could suggest three things I could do to improve my interpersonal skills, what would
they be?

I think overall you have pretty good social skills, I would just say try to talk to more people,
meet everyone you can meet because you dont know who they might be. Again patience is
another thing Id say but you dont really affect anyone else by that its more personal. And
maybe be a little more empathetic, I know you're not the most emotional person because you
get over things fast but most people dont.

7. In considering my human relations abilities, is there anything else you would like to add?

I think over ally you know exactly who you are, I think you knew everything I would say in the
interview and I think you have a really good outlook on life and care about friendships and
other people. You like to have fun and laugh with everyone and I think that is really important
to have a sense of humor.

8. Do you feel that you and me have similar interpersonal skills?

Yes definitely, even though we are different we have the same outlook that we just want to
meet everyone and talk to everyone. We like to have fun and thats why nothing can stop us
from trying to meet new friends.

"
INTERVIEW GUIDE (7 questions)

Interview # __2__

Person Interviewed: Tony

Relationship: best friend/ roommate

Questions:
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1. When you think about my general interpersonal skills, what are some adjectives or phrases
that come to mind that are good descriptions? a
Youre really fast to figure people out, you work very fast because I know since we worked
together for over a year, youre hilarious and no matter what situation you can make it fun,
and you're probably one of the most understanding people I have ever met.

2. What do you consider to be my greatest strengths in this regard?

I think you have really high self awareness, you know exactly who you are and what you
want out of life and no one can ever manipulate or influence you. I think thats why it is
easy for you to form relationships with other people because you have experienced so much
and you have the knowledge to sum them up very quickly, and relate to them no matter
how different they are. You would never shut anyone out until you know their whole story.

3. What do you consider to be my greatest weaknesses or areas for improvement?

Honestly I dont see anything that is a weakness that would hold you back in life. I just think
you are who you are and Im used to it. You just get impatient because you like to work and
accomplish things fast, and you get frustrated when other people get in the way or mess things
up. Especially at work you like to take over when someone is slow instead of trying to teach
them.
"
4. Specific Behavioral Competencies (on a scale of 1 to 10 10 being highest):
"
a. Ability to listen and convey empathy. Rating: __8___ Comments:
"
b. Demonstrates compassion, consideration and caring for others. Rating: _6____
Comments:
"
c. Ability to understand and communicate effectively with people who see the world
differently. Rating: __9___ Comments:
"
d. Building trust and credibility. Rating: ___8__ Comments:
"
e. Skill at cultivating relationships. Rating: __8___ Comments:
"
f. Demonstrating an awareness of own style and how it affects others, and makes
adjustments as necessary. Rating: _9____ Comments:
"
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g. Developing and maintaining positive relationships with others. Rating: ___7__

Comments:
"
h. Demonstrates flexibility and adaptability. Rating: __9___ Comments:
"
i. Works to build others' value with positive impact to all. Rating: __5___ Comments:
"
j. Self-knowledge and self-awareness. Rating: ___10__ Comments:
"
k. Ability to keep an open mind regarding controversial issues. Rating: ___9__
Comments:
"
l. Ability to separate emotions from facts in conflict situations. Rating: __8___
Comments:
"
m. Resolving differences between people using persuasion, diplomacy and logic.
Rating: __9___ Comments:
"
n. Effectively handles conflict, preserving good relations. Rating: __7___ Comments:
"
5. Have you observed any specific instances in which I have effectively adapted my behaviors
in order to relate more effectively with others who have different personalities, cultural
backgrounds, perspectives or beliefs? Please elaborate.

We literally talk about this all the time, I feel like we have analyzed the world and ourselves so
much and we just have a completely different outlook on everything. The thing is there are no
differences that would stop you, even all our friends have such different personalities and come
from different families and backgrounds. Even if we dont agree with it or we think people just
don't understand anything we still just accept everyone because in reality we just want to get
along with everyone. And work is huge, we have had to work with some really insane people
who are just complete opposites of us but you still get along with them, everyone always
wanted to work with you.
"
6. If you could suggest three things I could do to improve my interpersonal skills, what would
they be?

You just need to think more, youre impulsive and sometimes you like to have too much fun
without thinking about the consequences. I dont really see this affecting your social skills with
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others but it is something to work on. Try to be more patient with people who work really slow,
sometimes its not their fault. And you are just so independent and you dont even realize how
many people are there for you, and would do anything they could to help you if you needed it.
"
7. In considering my human relations abilities, is there anything else you would like to add?

I just feel like we know each other too well to answer these questions. I think overall you just
connect very easily with others and you always look for the best in people. You have been
through so much and it just really shaped you who you are today. I think you are self
knowledge to be honest with yourself and I think you have learned so much from all of the
different. I think everyone who doesnt know you really well, would be impressed if they could
see it from your perspective.