Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at

http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/647826.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: One Direction (Band)
Relationship: Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, (background) Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles
Character: Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlison, Niall Horan, Harry Styles
Stats: Published: 2013-01-20 Words: 26595

Can I Keep You

by scottmcniceass

Summary

Liam is always trying to do what's best for himself and his daughter, but raising a kid on
his own at twenty-two, on top of juggling school work and a full-time job, isn't easy. Zayn
just wants a chance to show Liam that he's not going to walk out on them. And Liam's
daughter, Emma? She just wants to keep Zayn.

Notes

See the end of the work for notes

The thing about being best friends with Louis Tomlinson is that you never get used to him, no
matter how much time you spend in his presence. Of course, you learn not to jump when he
unexpectedly shouts instead of keeping his voice to a normal level, or when he jumps you from
behind for impromptu piggyback rides. But still, he is a lot to take in even on his best days.

When Louis barges into Liams apartment, Liam sees first the flash of bright red and then the
contrasting blue, and theres that moment of, Jesus Christ what the fuck is happening? before he
realizes its just Louis and calms down.

That was locked, Liam tells him, putting a hand on his hip.

I have a key, Louis says right back. And news. I have news.

Liam knows better than to add fuel to the fire that is Louis and, instead of begging to know what
news he has, or picking up on Louis energy and jumping up and down, he arches his eyebrows
and bends down to pick up the stuffed animal off the ground.

Youre not even going to ask? Louis demands. Liam snorts and puts the stuffed toy in the box
with the other toys. Fine, Ill spill, but only because you hounded me. I, he pauses for dramatic
affect, have a date. Like, an actual date. As in, there will be more than just fumbled blowjobs in
the backseat of his car. Were having dinner.

Liam blinks because, well, that is kind of surprising. Liam and Louis both have very strict no
dating ever rules, for very different reasons. Liam doesnt date because its kind of hard to explain
over coffee that the first girl youd ever had sex with got pregnant and that shed left the baby for
you to take care of, the baby that was now a four year old girl. Louis didnt date because Louis
was a very firm believer that, while love might possibly exist, hes much happier shagging every
attractive person he meets (male or female; when it comes to Louis there is no real gender
preference) than confining himself to one single person.

Itd be a crime, really, Liam. Im doing the world a public service.

Who with? Liam asks, sinking down onto his couch. Hes got another two hours before he has
to pick Emma up from daycare, and today hes not working after his classes, so hes actually free.
Liam doesnt exactly know what to do with free time anymore, though.

You know who with, Louis says hotly, heading towards the kitchen.

Liams apartment isnt huge, but its cheap. Really, its mostly one large room -- living room,
dinning room and kitchen all in the same open space-- with three doors against the left wall, two
of them leading to bedrooms, one leading to the small bathroom with the constantly dripping sink.

Liam does, in fact, have a guess at who Louis got a date with, he just cant believe it, because,
You hate that guy.

That I do, Louis agrees while pouring himself coffee. I detest him with a burning fire that only
the sun could really comprehend. But, Louis sighs and adds cream to his drink, hes got these
hands, Liam. Honestly, its not fair. I want to simultaneously punch him in the face and fuck
myself on those fingers.

Louis, Liam hisses, because its a habit of his to scold Louis foul language, even when Emmas
not around. Christ. Maybe its good that you get him out of your system then.

Because Liam was a bit tired of hearing how infuriating Harry Styles is, and how much of a
pretentious prick he is, and how stupid his taste in music is, and how his hair smells like stupid
strawberries (Strawberries, Liam. I just dont understand.).

Louis had started working at Juice Town in the mall six months ago, and in that time Harry Styles,
who worked at Remix Cds (which was situated just across the way), had managed to crawl his
way under Louis skin in a way that no one Liam had met before had ever been able to do.

Exactly, Louis says, sliding onto the couch next to Liam.

A bit of coffee sloshes over the top of his cup and Liam watches helplessly as it lands on his
carpet. There was a time, when hed first moved in, when he might have been annoyed at that.
Now, the little brown stain is really nothing compared to the red stain of juice by the edge of the
coffee table, or the brown smear of chocolate that some how refused to come out, over by the
television.

So what are you two going to do? Liam asks, stealing Louis cup to take a sip. Its too bitter --
he likes his with hordes of sugar, Louis likes it with none at all-- and he grimaces at the taste.

Thats why Im here, actually, Louis said slowly. He looks up at Liam over the brim of his cup
with wide, begging eyes. I need you to come with.
Weird, for Louis, is kind of the norm; still, this is a bit out there. Im not coming on your date
with you.

But--, Louis sighs loudly. Please, Liam. You wont be a third wheel. Harry has this friend --
this ridiculously attractive friend, may I add-- who Ive convinced him to bring as well. That way,
if I decide that I literally cannot stop myself from strangling him before we head back to mine, you
can save the day.

Emma--,

Ill beg Niall to baby-sit.

Liam groans. Niall is Liams neighbour. Hes a great guy, really. Theyve got a sort of understand
between the two of them; Niall, who is very into having parties, never has music up loudly past
eight during the weekdays, and Liam cooks him breakfast on the weekends. Occasionally, Niall
baby-sits Emma, who adores Niall, really, because she finds his accent hilarious and enjoys
tugging on his hair. And Liam has no doubt that Niall would be all for Liam going out, would
volunteer to baby-sit even before Louis asked him.

So its settled then, Louis says happily, because they both know Liam doesnt have another
excuse. Be ready for six on Thursday.

Thursday, Liam repeats, giving Louis an incredulous look. Who goes out on their first date on
a Thursday?

Louis stands up, placing his cup, half finished, on the coffee table. The kind of person who plans
to get exceptionally wasted the next night if their date ends up being completely shit. Ive got to
run, meeting El at Panda in--, he looks down at his phone, fifteen minutes ago, apparently. Shit.
Love you, Li.

And then he was out the door, leaving Liam, not for the first time, feeling as if hed just been
picked up and then dropped by a tornado.

--

Its fine, Niall assures him for the tenth time. Seriously, Li, you need to get laid. Youre tightly
wound, mate.

Liams eyes move to Emma, who was sitting in front of the telly, checking to make sure she
hadnt picked up on Nialls words. I dont, Liam tells him, rolling his eyes. Unlike you and
Louis, I honestly dont need sex to function.

Everyone needs sex to function, Niall protests. But really, just go have fun. Ive got her.

Neil, Emma calls, looking over at them. No matter how many times any of them corrected her,
the child refused to believe that Nialls name was not, in fact, Neil.

Whatd you got there, girly? Niall asks, brushing Liam off. Emma might love Niall, but Liam
had no doubt in his mind that Niall loved her just as much. Woah, who got you that? Niall
questions when Emma lifts her wrist to show off the bracelet dangling from her arm.
Louis, Liam said, though he really didnt need to. Liam couldnt afford to spend money on
something so extravagant and pointless; Louis whole life purpose was to spend money on
extravagantly pointless things.

Dont you have a date? Niall asks, eyes narrowing.

No, Liam hisses right back. Louis has a date. Im babysitting, just like you.

Niall snorts. Well be fine, Liam, go.

Liam gives them both one more look, moves forward to scoop Emma up in his arms and plant a
kiss on top of her bright red curls, and then nods once more at Niall before heading out the door.
He feels this weight settle in his stomach as he locks it behind himself, though.

The last time Liam had been on a date had been over a year ago. It had been his first date since
theyd had Emma, and he was just starting University. John had been all bright smiles and soft
touches, until Liam blurted that he had a daughter, and then John had been all awkward smiles
and fumbled apologies and then finally hed said goodbye and theyd never went out again.

Liam figures that some people have good luck in life, and some have shit. Liam, definitely, has the
shittiest luck. How many other people got the first girl theyd slept with pregnant? And how many
other people had only realized after having sex with said girl that they were actually gay? And
how many other people after that had woken up in a brand new apartment when they were
eighteen years old to the sound of a baby crying, only to find a note tucked under a cup on the
coffee table explaining that the childs mother just didnt have it in her to raise a kid?

Not many, Liam figures.

When he gets downstairs he finds Louis car idling out front. His windows are all the way up but
that doesnt do much to stop the loud music thumping through his speakers from reaching Liams
ears. Liam doesnt even bother knocking on the window or anything to warn Louis before he gets
in the car, he just pulls open the door and slides into the passenger seat.

Liam, Louis instantly groans, eyes raking over Liams body. What the fuck are you wearing?

Um, Liam looks down at the plain white button-up and jeans hes wearing. Clothes?

Louis sighs. I look like a pack of fucking crayons, and you look like a black and white
photograph. Christ. Okay, switch me shirts.

Liam looks at Louis bright red shirt with apprehension. Im fine.

Liam, Louis says again, already tugging his shirt over his head. He hands it to Liam and waits
impatiently, hand extended. Liam has no choice but to undo the buttons on his shirt and pull on
Louis, even though its a bit tight around the shoulders, and even though Louis arms are way too
short for his button-up. Thats better, Louis decides, giving him another once over. Now, his
name is Zayn, he and Harry share an apartment, and no one is expecting anything to happen
between the two of you. Youre just there to make sure Harry and I dont kill each other or have
sex in the middle of the restaurant.

Liam gives Louis a wary look. Do I really have to worry about the second one? Because last
time your pants came off in public you nearly got arrested.

I was drunk, Louis says defensively, but he doesnt really look embarrassed. He pulls away
from Liams building without looking behind him, causing the car that nearly hits them to honk
their horn loudly. But anyways, Im still pretty sure this date has a better chance of ending in
bloodshed than it does in sexing.

Then why are you even bothering? Liam asks.

Louis shrugs, staring resolutely out the window. I guess I just realized that Im kind of alone, you
know? You might not date, but youve got Em. Nialls got that on-off thing with El, and Ive got-
Ive got me. Thats it.

Youve got me, Liam says, giving Louis a concerned look. It wasnt often that Louis softer side
came out, unless it was when Liam was upset. Louis wasnt some heartless person incapable of
crying or showing emotion; he just wasnt capable of crying over his own problems, or his own
emotions.

Not the same, Li, Louis tells him.

Why not? Liam questions.

Because, Louis sighs, whether I have you or not, I still go home to an empty apartment every
night.

Liam decides not to push after that because Louis has a habit of admitting important things and
then shutting down completely. Liam doesnt want him to do that, so he lets Louis words end the
conversation.

Louis turns the music back up and they drive to the restaurant singing along to Bruno Mars. When
they get out of the car, Louis hesitates. This does look okay, right?

Liam nods. What about me? I probably look ridiculous in your shirt.

Not at all, Louis tells him, plucking at the sleeve of Liams - Louis- shirt. Not many mothers
manage to get their figures back as quickly as you did after childbirth.

Liam rolls his eyes and bumps his shoulder roughly into Louis as they walk into the restaurant.

The restaurant itself is the kind of place Liam would take Emma, if they went out. Its not too
expensive, and instead of table cloths, all the booths are covered with brown paper that youre
allowed to colour on while you sit.

There they are, Louis says, jerking his head to the left. Liam watches as Louis face goes from
open and friendly to reserved and haughty and just a bit stuck up. Its something Liams seen more
than enough times in his life. He likes to refer to it as Louis Venus Flytrap look, because - no
matter how prickly it is- people are never able to resist flying close enough for Louis to trap them.

Liams met Harry twice, exactly. Once, while visiting Louis at work, Harry had come over to get
a drink for himself, and Louis had nearly dumped his drink on Harrys head when Harry
commented on how well Louis bum looked in his uniform. The other time was when Liam went
to buy a CD for himself at the place Harry works.

He recognizes the curly hair and the green eyes, but hes never seen the boy beside Harry before.
He would definitely remember the sharp eyes and the styled hair and the leather jacket, hes sure.

Lou! Harry calls, waving them over with a bright smile on his face. Liam does not miss the way
Louis tenses at the nickname. Over here.

This will all be fine, Louis says under his breath, and Liam cant tell if hes saying it to Liam or
himself.
Louis easily slides into the seat across from Harry, and Liam slips in next to him, across from
Zayn, who looks up at them with a bored expression on his face before returning his gaze down to
the table, where hes already drawn an impressive amount of doodles with the pencil crayons
provided.

Nice to meet you, Liam, Harry says, extending his hand. Liam takes it and shakes it once. This
is Zayn, by the way.

Hey, Zayn says quietly.

Do they serve alcohol here? Louis asks suddenly.

Lou--, Liam warns, but Harry just chuckles and says, Yeah, pretty sure they do.

The five minute wait for he waiter to come and ask them what they want to drink is awkward.
Zayn looks up from the table exactly three times - Liam counted, because he didnt have anything
else to do- and Harry acts as if Louis was the only person on the entire planet.

Harry and Louis both order themselves some citrus flavoured alcoholic drink, while Liam stuck
with a coke, since hed be driving Louis home, apparently, and Zayn got himself a coffee.

So, Liam, Harry says when the waiter disappears. You go to school with Louis, right?

Liam opens his mouth to answer but Louis does it for him. We have since we were nine.

Cool, Harry says easily. Whatre you studying? I know Lous taking musical theatre, but he
hasnt mentioned what youre studying. Same as Lou?

No, actually, Liam says, shifting in his seat. Im getting a degree in fire science.

Fire science, Harry repeats with a frown.

Means he wants to be a firefighter. Itll help get him a better paying job if he makes it onto the
force, Zayn says without looking up.

Liam blinks at him. Most people dont know that. He hadnt known that until the last year of
college, when their school counsellor suggested he take the course.

Thats right, Liam says, confusion in his voice.

Zayn looks up at him with a slight smirk on his face. Course it is.

What about you? Liam asks, raising an eyebrow.

Im not in school, Zayn answers coolly, before returning all of his attention to his drawings.
Harry gives Zayn a peculiar look and Liam knows that theres something there that theyre not
telling him, but he lets it go because he doesnt really know either of these guys enough for it to be
his business.

By the time they pay for the check, Liam decides that he likes Harry, and that he doesnt really
care much for Zayn. Zayn pocketed their waiters number before they left-- another smirk on his
face-- after he spent most of the evening ignoring everyone at the table, including Harry. Harry, on
the other hand, made a point to talk to Louis and Liam just as often, keeping up most of the
conversation. Louis spent half the evening looking about ready to throw something at Harry and
the other half like he was considering giving Harry a hand job under the table, which, Liam
figured, pretty much summed up Louis relationship with Harry completely.
So, Harry starts as the four of them step outside. You guys want to meet up somewhere else?
Get a few drinks?

Cant, Zayn says while pulling a cigarette out of his pocket. Liam watches as he pulls out a
lighter, too, and stares in fascination at the flame of it while Zayn lights the cigarette. Liam is very,
very against smoking, but theres always been something a bit enticing about fire, to him. It was
part of the reason hed wanted to be fireman.

I cant either, Liam adds after a beat, realizing he hadnt answered Harry. Ive got to get
home.

Liam is very responsible, Louis tells Harry confidentially. Thankfully, hed only had one drink
the whole date and Liam figured hed be fine enough to drive them home. Ive got to drop him
off at home but we could meet up at my place afterwards? Ive got an extensive collection of
alcohol, and I make a mean a Sex on the Beach.

Harry looks taken back by that, but he quickly nods his head. Yeah, definitely. Zayn?

Just drop me off at home, Zayn tells him. Ive got plans.

Youve always got plans, Harry mutters. He turns back to Louis. Text me your address?

Louis nods and they head in separate directions. The moment they get into the car, Louis grabs
Liams thigh with a tight, vice-like grip. Do I fuck him? Louis asks, eyes wide.

Liam looks at him, alarmed. Um, do you want to?

Yes, Louis admits. But if I do, things are going to be extremely awkward at work. And hell
probably want a second date or something, and I rarely do first dates, let alone second dates, and
Ill probably screw this whole thing up, and-,

Calm, Liam orders, raising his hands to get Louis to stop. Youll be fine.

Fine, Louis repeats, nodding his head. Youre right. Who am I kidding? Im Louis Tomlinson,
theres not a thing I cant do.

Liam shakes his head in fond amusement but doesnt deny that because, well, its kind of true. So
you had a good date, then?

Yes. This time Louis admission is said with a bit of resentment. What about you?

Liam shrugs. Not horrible. I like Harry. Louis glares at him. Zayn seems okay.

Are you kidding? Louis gives him an incredulous look. That man has got to be the third most
fuckable male on the planet.

Third?

After me, obviously, Louis smirks. And Harry. Like I said the other day, its the hands, okay, I
cant be held responsible for my reaction to them.

Liam hadnt noticed anything special about Harrys hands; then again, he hadnt really paid much
attention to them. Not as much as Louis, apparently.

Lets get you home, Louis says after a moment. And get me laid.
--

When Liam walks into his apartment he finds Niall sprawled out on the couch, watching some
reality show. He sits up quickly when he hears the door close.

How was it? Niall asks.

Liam shrugs. It wasnt my date.

Niall frowns. So you and the other guy didnt--,

He left with our waiters number, so no, we didnt.

That sucks, Niall says, tone laced with sympathy. You know, I have a few friends that are
single. I could set you up.

Liam waves him off. Im honestly fine. Ive got everything I need. Niall nods, accepting that.
Speaking of which, how was she?

Niall stands up and rolls his eyes. Great, and you know it.

Liam grins. Yeah, he admits. He did. His life might not have turned out the way he would have
planned, and a lot of things might be shit, but his daughter was not one of them.

See you later, Niall calls as he leaves.

--

Liam gets far more details about Louis night with Harry than he cares to. Best fuck of my life,
Louis gushed the day after. Why couldnt I have just stayed hating him? I thought screwing him
would resolve the unresolved sexual tension, but it didnt. I hate everything.

Liam tried to be sympathetic, at the time, but a week - and another hook-up between Harry and
Louis- later, Liam just doesnt have it in him.

I cant talk, Liam says into the phone as he ducks into the backroom. His boss is generally
lenient with Liams phone calls, since he knows about Liams daughter and how important it is for
him to answer every call. Still, Liam cant just slack off work to discuss Louis thriving sex life.

Fine, Louis sighs. But Harry told me to tell you that Zayn is into you.

Liam stares at a can of beans on the shelf in front of him with a shocked look on his face. What?

Mhm, Louis says, and Liam can hear the happiness in his voice. Apparently Zayns mating
ritual involves hitting on everyone but the person of his affection within a ten mile radius, and then
ignoring said person the whole night. Dont ask, I have no idea. Seems counterproductive, doesnt
it?

Yeah, Liam agrees, because he never, in a million years, would have assumed that Zayn even
remembered what Liams name was. Are you sure?

Positive, Louis assures him. Want me to set up another double date? And maybe this time you
can make an effort to seem available and interested?

No, Liam says quickly, shaking his head despite the fact that he knows Lou cant see him. Im
okay.

What? Louis voice is loud in his ear. Why the hell not?

Because Im not interested.

Its not exactly true. Zayn was gorgeous, Liam wasnt blind. He just wasnt Liams type, really.
Liam couldnt afford to date guys like Zayn, ones who very clearly gave off a dangerous vibe,
with their smirks and leather jackets and enticing eyes. Liam needed someone reliable and steady
and relaxing, someone who could handle the fact that he had a kid. Zayn did not seem like that
type of person, and Liam wasnt willing to get involved in something that was definitely not going
to work.

Youre sure? Louis questions.

Im sure.

Okay, Louis concedes. But if you change your mind, at least shag him, yeah? Kind of a waste
not to, in my opinion.

Liam is about to go on his rant about why being attractive should not be the only contributing
factor to sleeping with someone, when there was a knock on the door to the backroom.

Ive got to go, Liam whispers into the phone. Talk to you later.

Youre no fun, Louis tells him. But fine. Goodbye, Liam.

--

Liam is at Louis after school on Wednesday when he sees Zayn again. Not that hed been
spending a lot of time thinking about Zayn, and not that hed been picturing men with dark eyes
and smirks on their faces while he jerked himself off in the shower the other day, because hed
told himself he wasnt going there.

Still, its more than a bit of a surprise to see him again.

Emma was still at daycare, and would be until Louis drove Liam to pick her up in two hours. He
and Louis were playing xBox, busy shooting each other as often as possible, when someone
knocks on the door. Louis is quick to jump up, not even caring that Liam manages to shoot his
player in the head twice while he does so.

Harry, Louis says loudly. Liam looks up sharply just in time to see the boy in question come
into the apartment, followed closely by Zayn.

The leather jacket is gone today and Liams eyes take in the colourful ink covering his arm. Hes
got more than one tattoo on his forearms alone, and Liam doesnt doubt that there are more
underneath the black band t-shirt hes wearing. Wanting to find them and trace them with his
tongue isnt exactly a normal reaction to that thought, he knows.

Hi, Liam, Harry says brightly, already making his way to where Liam was sitting on the couch.
He picks up Louis controller without asking and starts playing. Liam dies but hes too busy
watching Zayn, whos slowly following behind Louis, to notice or care.

Zayn nods his head in Liams direction and sits on Louis armchair. Louis fits himself between
Harry and Liam and steals his controller back. I was winning! Harry protests, but Louis just
plucks Liams controller right out of his hands and passes it to Harry before focusing on the game,
bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Can you get drinks? Louis asks, not taking his eyes off the screen.

Ill take a can of Coke, Harry adds.

Liam rolls his eyes but gets up anyways. Hes used to that kind of behaviour from Louis.
Sometimes he felt like he had two kids to take care of.

He doesnt get halfway to the kitchen before he realizes Zayn is following him. He doesnt bother
to acknowledge the other boys presence, though, until hes pulled open Louis fridge.

What do you want? he asks, as Zayn leans against the counter, arms folded over his chest. Hes
leaner than Liam but theres something about his wiry frame that does it for Liam more than thick
arms and wide shoulders would.

Whatever youre having, Zayn answers.

Liam feels Zayns eyes on him as he bends down to grab cans out of the case. He hands one to
Zayn, who takes it, and then holds the other three in his hands. Zayn doesnt move to leave the
kitchen but instead resumes leaning against he counter while he pops the tab on the can.

You sure you want to go back in there? Zayn asks, raising an eyebrow.

Liam frowns at him. Why wouldnt I?

Zayn hold a finger up to his lips, gesturing for him to be quiet and listen. Liam does so, not
understanding what hes supposed to be listening to, because he cant hear anything.

It takes him a moment for that to sink in. He cant hear anything. The sound of fake gunfire should
have been echoing through the apartment still, but it wasnt. And then he hears Louis gasp, and
Liams cheeks turn red. Oh.

Its ridiculous, Zayn comments, shaking his head. Theyre like animals. He cocks his head to
the side, eyes sliding slowly down Liams body before reaching his eyes once more. Then again,
if I had someone I was that attracted to I guess Id want to fuck them senseless all the time, too.

Liams mouth literally falls open a bit, and he doesnt know how to respond to something like that.
Sure, hes used to those kind of comments from Louis, but they were never directed at him, and he
feels like this one was.

You bringing those drinks or what? Louis calls, making Liam jump.

Coming, Liam says quickly. He gives Zayn one last, quick look, which Zayn returns with a
grin, before they both head back into the living room.
Harry and Louis have resumed playing, but Harrys lips are red and Louis hair is dishevelled. No
one comments.

Louis might be flighty and absent minded most of the time, but twenty minutes before Liam has to
pick up Emma he turns off the game. Sorry, boys, Louis says apologetically. Duty calls.

Yeah, it does. So whyd you turn it off? Harry asks.

Louis snorts. Because some of us have responsibilities, Harry. Come over later though, yeah?

Harry nods. Definitely.

Neither he nor Zayn push for any more information on why theyre being kicked out, and Liam is
grateful. He doesnt want to have to go through the awkward explanation, not because hes
ashamed of his daughter in any way, but because hes ashamed of himself and his own actions,
and he hates seeing the judgemental looks people give him when they find out.

--

Louis! Emma shouts when get inside the daycare to pick her up. She runs right at them, arms
spread wide. Liam opened his arms to catch her, but she flings herself into Louis arms with much
more force than should have been possible for someone that tiny.

What about me? Liam asks, faking a pout as Louis twirls her in his arms.

Love you too, daddy, Emma says before blowing him a kiss, something shed picked up from
Louis.

The woman who ran the daycare, Ella, waves goodbye to the three of them as they duck out the
door. Liam knows that Ella has a thing for him, but he didnt know how to tell her that he just
wasnt into girls. Hed hoped that brining Louis along all the time would make her think that they
were a couple so that shed get it without him actually saying it.

Lets do dinner, Louis suggests as he carries Emma to the car. Ill pay.

Louis always offers to pay because Louis is loaded. Louis aunt passed away when they were
sixteen and left a large sum of money to her favourite nephew. That, on top of his job, meant that
Louis was not hurting where money was concerned.

Ive got it, Liam says anyways, because hes not exactly good at taking handouts, even from
Louis. The bracelet dangling Emmas arm, and the plethora of toys back at the apartment didnt
count, because they were gifts for her only.

Whatever, Louis says. He shrugs before pulling open the backdoor and putting Emma in her
car-seat. She claps her hands together happily while Louis does up her belt. Does it matter where
we go?

Liam shakes his head and gets into the passenger seat. Where ever you want.

Louis slides into the drivers seat and pulls away from the building while Emma hums happily to
herself.
How was school? Liam asks her, twisting around in his seat.

I coloured, she says happily. Ill colour Louis tomorrow.

Louis grins at her in the rear-view mirror. Use lots of colours, he orders.

Emma scoffs, another thing she picked up from Louis. Dont be silly, she says in that way that
only kids can, sounding too old for their years but also impossibly young.

Louis brings them to a newer restaurant across town that Louis had been meaning to go to for a
while. Liam wonders why he didnt drag Harry there instead, but decides not to ask. He knows
that Louis smart enough not to say certain things in front of Em, but Louis also has a bad track
record when it comes to Harry and blurting out whatever comes to mind.

It isnt until theyre sat in a both, Emma between Louis and the wall, at her request, that Louis
slips up. He lets out a loud hiss of, Shit! and Emma covers her ears and gawks at him in
surprise. Sorry, love, he says quickly, giving Liam a panicked but apologetic look.

When Louis eyes flicker across the restaurant, Liam follows his train of sight and realizes what
Louis had freaked about.

He can see the outline of several tattoos underneath the thin cotton button-up hes wearing, just as
Liam suspected. One on his collarbone, one on his chest, another on his hip. It isnt until after hes
categorized them and Zayn meets his eyes that Liam lets out a surprised sound.

Want to play a game? Louis asks Emma, eyes wide.

Emma blinks up at him. No, she says defiantly. You swore. You cant play.

I can play, Louis denies. You know how I pretend for school? Were going to pretend right
now, okay? If anyone asks, Liams your uncle.

Emma blinks at him. Uncle Liam? she asks. Whos Liam?

Louis gives Liam an astonished look and then turns back to Emma. Liams your dad.

Emma turns to Liam, shock in her wide brown eyes. Oh! she says, as if she honestly didnt
know this.

So just pretend that Im your dad, okay?

Okay, daddy Louis, Emma says pleasantly.

Zayn is already heading towards them, but Liam has enough time to ask Louis, What the hell are
you doing?

Look, Louis leans forward and speaks in a hushed whisper, you said you werent interested,
but I could see your heart eyes for him from miles away. Do you really want to spring this on him
before you even have a chance?

Liam did not have heart eyes. He also wasnt going to lie about the most important thing in his
life, cover up his daughter like he was ashamed of her. But then Zayn was at their table, a fake
smile on his face.

What can I-, he froze, eyes on Emma. Zayns dark eyes dart from Liam to Louis and then from
Louis to Emma, and Liam waits for the inevitable questions, the wondering of whos she was
because, really, Emma could belong to Louis or Liam, if you didnt look too closely. She had red
hair, for Gods sake.

What can I get for you, princess? Zayn asks, bending down to rest his arms on the table.

Emma smiles at him. Can I see? she asks, looking down at Zayns arm.

Liam watches in shocked fascination as Zayn extends his arm past Louis. Emma grabs his arm
and turns it in her hands, awe struck as she takes in the multiple tattoos. Cool, yeah? Zayn asks,
smiling at her.

Can I have one? she asks Liam before shaking her head and turning to Louis. Dad?

Zayns eyes widen just a bit, but he covers it quickly. Not until youre older, I dont think your
dad would approve. He gives Louis a serious look after he speaks, and Liam can just guess all
the things going through his mind. Has heard them out loud himself from other acquaintances
when they first met his daughter.

Emma pouts and mutters, I want chicken nuggets.

Zayn writes that down and asks Liam and Louis what they want. Louis answers breezily, ordering
himself a plate of fish and chips. Liam just blurts, Shes mine.

Zayn frowns at him, and Louis throws up his hands. For fucks sakes, he says, shaking his head
at Liam.

Louis! Emma looks disappointed in him. Youre grounded.

Louis sinks back into his seat, arms crossed over his chest, a petulant look on his face, as if he
were actually a child who had just gotten grounded.

Shes-, Zayn points his pen at Liam and then at Emma, yours?

Liam nods but Emma quickly says, Uncle Louis is my daddy.

Louis snorts back his laughter. The jig is up, kid, he tells her. Weve been found out. Your
father is a terrible actor.

Ill, um, Zayn runs a hand through his hair. Ill get your drinks, he says before darting off.

Liam watches him go, a pang in his chest for what he knows is yet another lost cause. Not that
hed really been that interested in Zayn, it was just that maybe hed convinced himself, just kind
of, that things could possibly work out. This was Liam, though, and nothing in his life worked
out.

Louis levels Liam with an annoyed look until Zayn returns, a tray with their drinks on it balanced
in his hands. He doesnt meet Liams eyes as he puts his Coke in front of him, but then he hands
Em a pack of crayons and a piece of paper - a bright, open smile on his face -, and Liam doesnt
know what to do with that.

Most of the chatter as they wait for their food is supplied by Emma and Louis. Liam just doesnt
have it in him to join in on the enthusiastic conversation between the two children.

This time its Liam who doesnt meet Zayns eyes as the other boy pushes a plate of food in front
of him. He doesnt want to see the judgement in those eyes, so he avoids it as best as he can.
When Zayn comes back to clear their plates, Emma reaches past Louis to hand him her piece of
paper. Liam can see the doodle on it, figures that the deformed figure drawn there is Zayn, judging
from the colours covering his arms. Zayn takes it with a smile.

Thank you, he says.

Thank you, Emma says right back. She turns to Louis. Can we keep him?

Louis literally covers his face to hold in his laughter at that. Ask your dad, he answers, much to
Liams mortification.

Suddenly three pairs of eyes are looking at him expectantly. Liam looks up into Zayns only,
wondering what the hell he was playing at.

No, Liam says finally. We cant.

Louis rolls his eyes at that, Emma pouts, and Zayns expression cools over into something close to
indifference. Ill get your check, he says.

Louis leans out of the booth to watch him walk away. Id keep him, Louis decides, eying
Zayns ass. Definitely.

Yeah, well Liam shoves his straw into his mouth so he doesnt have to say anything else.

Zayn returns with two separate bills, one of which he gives to Louis, the other to Liam. Liam
looks down at the price and pulls the money from his wallet before seeing the writing on the back.

You dont have to keep me, it read, and underneath that was a number. Liam looks up at Zayn, but
Zayn is already walking away.

Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, Liam pulls his phone out under the table and puts
Zayns number in his contacts.

--

Having Zayns number is more of a burden than a gift. Liam doesnt havethe courage to text him,
or call him, but he also cant stop opening up the contact once every couple hours, like clockwork,
only to talk himself out of doing anything at the last minute.

Telling Louis wasnt helpful, either. All he did was order Liam to just grow a pair and talk to him.
Louis didnt fully get it, though. He didnt have the same worries and concerns that Liam did. He
didnt have to worry about another person, didnt have to be responsible all the time. Liam did,
and he couldnt risk things by getting involved with someone.

What would happen if he did decide to ask Zayn out? And Zayn actually said yes, and then they
dated, and maybe Liam got really into him and formally introduced him to Emma, only to have
things end right afterwards? How was he supposed to explain that to her?

This was why he didnt date. Either he held half of himself back at all times - because Emma was
half of him, really, maybe even more- or he potentially hurt his daughter by bringing temporary
people into her life. And if he was getting this stressed even considering dating, then obviously it
wasnt a good idea to.

So Louis continues to date (Liams word, not Louis, because Louis angrily denies any sort of
relationship between himself and Harry outside of sex) Harry, and Liam continues to not date
anyone. He even begs off both times that Louis invites him to hang out with Harry and Zayn.

He doesnt see Zayn again for over a month, and once again, when he does, its unexpected. With
Halloween coming up in just two weeks, and Em being old enough to demand a costume and to
go trick-or-treating, Liam is stuck shopping for said costume. He was going to bring her along, but
theyd went a few days ago and the only costume shed wanted to try on was one that he would
never, in a million years, allow his daughter to even touch. In fact, he was more than a little
disturbed by the fact that they even made costumes like that in her size. What the hell was wrong
with the world?

Princess? a voice asks from behind him. Interesting choice. Id take you more for a scantily
clad policeman. Or maybe even a fireman, you know, given your career choices.

Liam whirls, plastic bag in his hand. Zayn just grins at him. What are you doing here? Liam
asks.

Zayn shrugs. Got invited to a party. Need a costume.

Oh, Liam nods. Right.

Youre taking out your daughter, then? Zayn asks, jerking his head in the direction of the
costume in Liams hand. He says the word daughter slower, like hes testing the word on his
tongue, or not quite sure if he should be using it. It makes Liam want to glare at him.

Yeah, I am.

Zayn nods. How old is she?

Four, Liam says in a clipped tone, returning the costume to the shelf. He looks at a witch
costume next.

She looks like you, Zayn says, because thats what people think theyre supposed to say.

Shes got her mums hair, Liam points out. And Louis attitude.

Zayn grins at that. He a bad influence, then?

Only when it comes to her taste in jewellery, Liam says. He finds himself smiling back, just a
little. A bit far out of my price range.

Zayn grabs a random mask from the shelf behind them, turning it in his hand. She around? Zayn
asks while looking down at the mask. Her mum, I mean.

Liam sighs and puts away the witch costume. No. Shes not. Hasnt been for years.

When Zayn looks up at him, he looks genuinely sorry for even bringing it up. That must be
hard.

Liam shrugs. Were fine.

Zayn nods once again and puts the mask away. See you round, Liam, he says, heading towards
the other side of the store where the adult male costumes are. And Id get her the princess one, if
I were you.

Liam watches him go and then grabs the pink princess costume and heads for the cash register.
--

It itches, Emma complains, tossing the tiara to the ground for the fifth time. Liam sighs and
doesnt try to get it on her again.

The pink princess costume is no longer pink. He has no idea who - Niall- convinced his daughter
that Halloween costumes were supposed to be scary, but she was not pleased with the too pretty
dress and tiara that Liam had gotten for her. Fortunately enough, Nialls own costume needed a lot
of fake blood and costume makeup, and hed brought some over.

Liam still felt a bit uneasy, looking at her. He knew it was fake, but the giant, bloody gash on her
forehead still bothered him. Every couple minutes he would see it and his heart would race before
hed remember that it was just makeup.

Here, Niall says, pulling the ears off his head. He was a freshly bitten werewolf, apparently.
Ripped, bloody shirt and all. He was impressively good with the costume makeup, though, and
the fake bite on his side was convincing.

Emma grins widely when Niall puts the ears on her. Woof, she says. Im a dog princess.

Niall just shrugs and Liam decides that, as long as shes happy, he doesnt mind that hes going to
be asked numerous times tonight what his daughter is supposed to be dressed up as.

Ive got to finish setting up, Niall says apologetically. If it gets too loud for her to sleep, just
come over and let me know.

I will, Liam says, though he knows that wont happen. Emma usually refuses to sleep without
her Dora the Explorer movie on, and she probably wont be able to hear the pounding music over
it.

Gbye Neil, Emma calls after him.

Liam looks down at her. You ready to go?

Candy?

Candy, he nods.

Lets go, daddy, she says, grabbing his arm, suddenly in a hurry.

One second, Liam tells her, reaching for his phone on the coffee table, and then the little
pumpkin basket hed bought for her to carry her candy in. The second the phones in his hand,
though, it starts ringing. Emma gives him an impatient look but Liam holds up his finger, telling
her to wait, and she sighs and flops onto the ground.

He doesnt recognize the number, but he knows that it could be Louis, calling from work, or
Harrys phone, even. Hello? he asks after pressing talk.

Hey, says the person on the other end, and that is not Louis. Thats-, Its Zayn.

A part of him has a lot of questions, but he knows that Emmas only a few minutes away from a
fit if they dont get going. I really cant talk, Liam says into the phone. Were just about to head
out, and-,

Thats why Im calling, Zayn says quickly. I- um, I kind of have this costume to wear, and
nowhere to wear it.

Liam frowns in confusion. I thought you were going to a party.

I was, Zayn admits, but that kind of fell through.

Liam looks at Emma, who raises her eyebrows, as if asking him what could possibly be more
important than going out to get candy. He knows that Zayns asking him something too, and he
knows that, under normal circumstances, he would be quick to shoot him down. But Emmas
glaring at him now, and he just wants to get off the phone as fast as he can without offending
Zayn.

Do you want to come with us? he asks, and then grimaces because what is he even doing?

Sure, Zayn answers immediately. Do you want to-,

Meet at my building, Liam finishes. He quickly rattles off his address. But youve only got
about fifteen minutes before Emma drags me down the street.

Ill be there, Zayn promises.

When he hangs up, Liam pockets his phone and turns to his daughter. Do you remember the guy
from the restaurant that we went to with Lou a while ago? he asks, and she frowns at him,
eyebrows scrunched up in thought. The one with the drawings on his arms?

She nods her head quickly at that. I still want one.

Liam chuckles. Well, he wants to come with us tonight. Is that okay?

So we can keep him? Emma asks, eyes wide. And that was the reason he'd decided he wasnt
going to try anything with Zayn.

Well see, he finds himself saying anyways, though he knows that the actual answer to that
question is a big fat no. He cant just say that to her, though, not without her getting all teary-eyed
and pouty. Come on, lets wait downstairs.

They only wait outside for about five minutes before he sees Zayn through the crowds of parents
and children occupying the streets. Hes wearing his leather jacket, a t-shirt, and a pair of jeans.

Zayn, Liam says when he gets to them. Thought you were looking for an excuse to wear your
costume.

Zayn looks sheepish for only a split second before saying, I lied. My actual costume wasnt
exactly appropriate.

Liam snorts. What was it?

Zayn leans forward, close enough that Emma wont be able to hear when he says, Maybe Ill
show you sometime. In private.

Liam can feel the heat rising to his cheeks, and he has no idea how to respond with that.
Thankfully, Emma takes that moment to grab his hand and roughly tug him down the street, the
only thing coming out of her mouth a constant stream of, Candy! Candy!
Liam gives Zayn an apologetic look as he jogs to catch up with them. Its her first year trick-or-
treating, Liam explains.

Not a problem, Zayn assures him. Shes adorable.

Shes vicious, Liam corrects.

Zayns hand brushes against his. Nothing wrong with knowing what you want and having the
determination to go after it, he says, and Liam wonders if theyre still talking about Emma.

Liam wants to skip the first house, deeming the flashing lights and electronic screams a bit too
much, but Emma insistently pulls him forward. Zayn waits on the sidewalk as they go up and
knock on the door.

Emma barks at the woman who answers the door, who, instead of asking questions, smiles fondly
at her. And what are you supposed to be? she asks.

A dog princess, Emma tells her. Liam hears Zayns chuckle from behind him.

The woman drops a mini Kit-Kat into Emmas basket, and then hesitates before putting in an extra
two candy bars with a wink at Liam.

You just got hit on through candy bars, Zayn informs him when they get back to the sidewalk.

I did not, Liam denies.

Whats your name? Emma asks Zayn, interrupting them.

Zayn, the man in question answers. They can both see Emma attempting to repeat it, her mouth
forming the letters. You can call me Zee, though.

Zee, Emma tries, and then grins expectantly up at him.

Perfect.

Despite her desire to get as much candy as possible, Emma only makes it forty minutes before
yawning loudly. Carry me?

Liam scoops her up in his arms. Want to go home?

She shakes her head, red hair flying into his face. More candy. Please, daddy?

Liam opens his mouth to protest, but Zayn says, Come on, you cant say no to that.

Liam sighs. A few more houses and then well head back.

Zayn, too?

Liam doesnt need to look at Zayn to know that hes got the same smile on his face that she does.
For a bit, Liam allows.

When they get back to the apartment, Emma looks minutes away from passing out. He lets her
have one chocolate - a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup that Liam unwraps and breaks in half before
giving to her, because hes heard about all the potential dangers of Halloween candy, and knows
youre supposed to check it first- and then he carries her to bed with little protest on her part.

Gnight, Zee, she calls sleepily over his shoulder.

Goodnight, Emma, Zayn says right back, and Liam wonders if those two simple words should
make him feel so warm inside, or if hes just extremely pathetic.

Liam tucks Emma into bed and puts on Dora before kissing her head goodnight. When he gets
back to the living room, Zayns lounging casually on the couch, as if hes sat in that spot a
hundred times.

Do you want a drink? Liam asks him, already heading into the kitchen to get one for himself.

Sure, he answers easily.

Liam hears his old couch creak and assumes Zayns spreading out more, until a pair of arms
encircle him from behind while hes leaning into the fridge to grab the bottle of Coke.

Zayn smells like cologne and a hint of cigarette smoke, and his breath is warm on Liams neck.
Liam leans back into him on instinct.

This okay? Zayn asks quietly.

Yeah, Liam breathes, taking a step backwards so he can close the fridge. Zayns arms stay
around him, and Liam knows he shouldnt be doing this. I mean no. But yes. I just--,

Dont sound very sure. Zayns arms are suddenly gone, and Liam turns around to find Zayns
expression painfully blank. Sorry. I thought I was reading things differently.

Liam runs a hand over his short hair. You werent, Liam tells him. Not completely, at least. Its
just--,

No, its cool, Zayn says, taking a step backwards. Seriously, Liam, I shouldnt have assumed
you were into guys. I mean, shit, youve got a kid. Obviously youre straight, I just assumed,
because the double date with Louis and Harry, and--,

Im into guys, Liam says quickly. Definitely into guys.

Zayns mouth closes with a snap, and he gives Liam a wary look. Just not this guy.

No, its not--, Liam tilts his head to the ceiling and takes a shaky breath. I like you. I do, he
says to the ceiling. I just cant.

Liam feels a warm hand on his shoulder, and he looks back down at Zayn. Zayn looks horribly
sorry, and Liam wants to wipe that look off his face, because he has nothing to be sorry about.
Its cool, Liam, honestly. I can take rejection. His hand slips down Liams arm to fall back to his
side before he steps away.

Liam lets him get all the way to the door before speaking. I have a kid, Zayn.

Zayn turns, frowning. Yeah, I got that.

No, you dont, Liam tells him. I cant just hook-up with people. I cant just-- do whatever this
is. Because its not just my life. Its hers, and I have to put her before everything, including guys
with leather jackets and tattoos and--,

Is that what the problem is? Zayn asks, and finally he looks more than just mildly disappointed.
He looks angry. The way I look? You think Im not good enough?

No, Liam says quickly, because thats not what he meant. I dont think that Im-- that Im okay
enough to watch another person walk out of her life. So its best just to not let you walk into it at
all.

He can see the way Zayns jaw clenches as he chews over those words. Okay, Zayn says
finally. I get that.

Liam leans back against the counter-- no, sags again it. Thank you, he breaths, feeling like a
weight has slipped off his shoulder. Or some of it, at least.

See you round, Liam, Zayn says, before slipping out the door. Liam wonders how many times
hes going to hear that from him, or from every single person in his life that he decides he wants
but cant have.

--

I think youre being ridiculous, Louis informs him through a mouthful of chicken fried rice.
Seriously ridiculous.

Liam shrugs and swallows his bite of broccoli before speaking, because unlike Louis, he isnt a
barbarian. Im being cautious.

A strip of chicken hits Liam in the shoulder and he glares at Louis before pulling it off his shirt
and putting it on the table. Emma is in front of the television, too caught up in watching Grease to
pay attention to his conversation with Louis.

You could have at least fucked him, Louis hisses under his breath.

Liam feels his cheeks grow hot but refuses to let Louis get anymore of a rise out of him. Well, I
didnt. And its done. So theres really no point to talk about it anymore.

He expects Louis to roll his eyes, or snap something cuttingly bitchy, but he doesnt. He just
frowns softly at Liam and then puts a hand on Liams thigh. You need to let yourself have a life
too, you know.

I do have a life, Liam protests. And shes sitting, like, five feet away from us.

Liam.

Louis.

Just hear me out, okay? Louis asks, eyes pleading. Liam sighs and nods, just like Louis knew he
would, because he always relents when Louis gets like this. Harry and I will baby-sit on Friday. I
happen to know for a fact that Zayns free that night, because he was going to come out to the
club with Harry and I. Instead, youre going to stay in and have the fuck of your life, okay?

How do you know even know he wants to have sex with me? Liam demands. Louis just raises
his eyebrows knowingly. Okay, fine, how do you know I want to have sex with him?

Louis snorts out a laugh that has him choking on his food. Liam slaps his back, a bit too hard to be
helpful but, really, he deserves it. When Louis gets his breath back he says, So youll do it? Just
one night and one morning, and then Ill bring Em back the next day?
Liam bites his lip. He hasnt let Em sleep anywhere without him in-- a really, really long time. It
wasnt that he didnt trust Louis, he just worried a lot. He had to. I dont know.

Come on, please Liam? This gives me an excuse to just hang out with Harry without us getting
drunk or having sex. And I can see what hes like with kids. Its very important to know things
like that about a person before getting in a relationship with them.

Liam raises his eyebrows. So now you want a relationship outside of sex?

Maybe, Louis admits. I dont know. Im testing the waters. I can still get out if I decide not to,
at this point.

Liam takes a few moments to eat and think. When his plate is cleared, and he has no other excuse,
he finally agrees. Just one night. Thats it. Okay?

Louis slaps him on the shoulder. Great! Ill lend you a bottle of lube. Liam makes a choked
noise, nose turning up in disgust. Im kidding, Christ. Like Id have enough to spare, with
Harrys libido.

--

Louis is the complete middle man in the whole thing, and Liam doesnt even speak to Zayn before
Friday. In fact, hes really not convinced Zayn is even coming at all.

He lets Louis pick up Emma at about six, and shes all restless excitement about having a
sleepover at Louis. Louis seems just as thrilled, honestly, and Liam feels a twinge of guilt,
knowing that Louis would have taken her many times if Liam had just asked, and he probably
thought that Liam hadnt trusted him with her.

Thank you, Lou, Liam says sincerely, just before they leave.

Anytime, he says, and then covers Emmas ears with his hands. You better get laid for this,
Liam, because Im not.

Liam just waves them off with a blush on his face. Before he can get back into his apartment,
Niall is coming out of his, wearing just a pair of loose sweat pants, no shirt. Hes holding a large
pan, and he gives Liam a hopeful look. My stoves fucked. Can I borrow yours?

Liam looks down at his watch. Zayn is going to be there in twenty minutes, if Louis was right.
Uh, sure, Liam says anyways, because he owes Niall for a lot.

Thanks, man, Niall says, following him into the apartment. This is going to take a bit, is it okay
if I stay?

Definitely, Liam tells him.

So Lous taking Em for the night? Niall asks as he turns the dials on the stove.

Liam straightens the things on his coffee table. Yeah. Hes giving me the night off.

And youre just staying in?

He picks up one of Emmas toys and puts it away. Yeah.

He picks up one of Emmas toys and puts it away. Yeah.

By yourself?

Not exactly, Liam admits, and he feels Niall watching him. Remember when I went on that
sort-of-but-not-really double date with Louis, and Harry, and Harrys friend? That friend is
coming over.

bout time, Niall grumbles. Good for you, mate.

Liam grins in spite of himself and the sudden onslaught of nerves. Hopefully it will be.

A sudden knock on the door has Liams eyes widening. He straightens his shirt and gives Niall a
panicked look, which Niall just laughs at and continues to stir whatever hes cooking.

Liam sucks in a deep breath and heads to the door. Hey, Zayn says when he opens it. Hes
holding a bag of takeaway and a bottle of wine. This okay?

Liam takes the wine and opens the door wide enough for him to come in. Definitely okay. Um,
he looks back at Niall, who Zayn has just spotted. This is Niall, my neighbour. His ovens
broken, so

Hey, Niall greets.

Hi, Zayn says, and Liam frowns, wondering if hes imagining the slightly cold tone in Zayns
voice.

Ill be out of here in, like, two minutes, Niall says quickly, looking between Liam and Zayn.
Sorry.

Its fine, Liam says quickly, before turning back to Zayn. Ill get us plates. You can wait on the
couch?

Yeah, Zayn agrees easily, slipping off his shoes.

Liam watches him as he heads to the couch, taking in the lack of leather jacket. Hes wearing a
simple red sweater and dark jeans, and his hair isnt as up as it usually is, but instead sticks around
his head in a fluffy sort of way that Liam finds adorable and really hot, at the same time.

Liam grabs plates while Niall turns off the stove and steals a plate from Liam to put his cooked
food on. Ill come get the pan tomorrow, he tells Liam, heading for the door. And just
remember that the walls are kind of thin, so if youre gonna be loud put on some music, yeah?

Liam cant look at Zayn while the door shuts behind Niall, so he just walks to it and locks it,
hoping the blush is off his cheeks by the time he turns around.

He cook in your apartment a lot? Zayn asks, raising his eyebrows. Shirtless.

Liam frowns at him and brings the plates over to the couch. No, that was the first time.

Oh, Zayn nods and reaches into the bag he brought. Cool.

Liam takes in the tightness of his mouth, and the way he sort of roughly pulls the food out of the
bags. Are you jealous?

Zayn looks up sharply. Im not jealous.

Liam tries not to laugh, and fails. Zayn glares at him.

Hes just my neighbour, Liam assures him. Well, no, thatd be a lie. Hes one of my best
mates. But hes straight. Definitely, completely straight. You have nothing to worry about.

I wasnt worrying, Zayn says quietly, handing Liam a carton of pasta. I didnt know what you
liked, so I just got my favourites.

This smells great, Liam tells him. It does, like tomatoes and spices.

Wine?

I dont--, he goes to say that he doesnt drink, but thats because he always has to worry about
going home to his daughter. He doesnt have to worry about that tonight. Yeah, okay.

Zayn stands up. Glasses are in what cupboard?

Liam stands up, too. You dont have to. Youre a guest.

Zayn rolls his eyes and puts a hand on Liams shoulder, pushing down gently. Let me take care
of you tonight, yeah?

Liam sinks back down onto the couch. Okay.

He watches Zayn bustle around his kitchen, pulling open cupboards to find the cups. He tugs the
lid off the wine bottle - thankfully not one of the corked ones, because Liam doesnt have a
corkscrew- and then fills their glasses.

Its been a long time since Liams had a drink, and the alcohol is warm and fizzy in his mouth. He
doesnt really like the taste much, but he figures that anything that might calm him down a bit is a
good idea, so he takes another large sip.

They eat and watch a movie - The Dark Knight, because its one of Liams favourites- while
talking a bit. Zayn asks him about school, and why he wanted to be a fireman. Liam admits that
its always been his plan, since he was seven and there was a fire at his parents house.

Want another glass? Zayn asks, holding up the bottle. Hes already poured himself a second
one.

You trying to get me drunk? Liam teases, but he holds out his glass as Zayn pours.

Trying to get you to relax, maybe, Zayn admits. He puts the bottle on the table. You sure you
wanted to do this? Louis didnt push you into it?

No, no, Liam denies instantly. I wanted to do this.

Youve had your shoulders hunched the whole night, Zayn points out. And you keep looking
at me and then looking away.

Liam takes a sip of his drink and then puts his cup on the table. Sorry, he says. Im just-- Im
not used to this. Im not exactly sure what to do here. The last time I went on a date-- it was a long
time ago, and it didnt exactly go well.

Zayn chuckles and puts his glass beside Liams, and then shifts on the couch so one of his legs is
tucked underneath himself with his body twisted so that hes facing Liam. Turn around, Zayn
orders. Liam frowns at him but Zayn raises his eyebrows and repeats, Turn around.

Liam gives in, turning so that his back is facing Zayn. Zayns hands are firm but gentle on his
back. Liams had a professional massage, and he knows that it kind of hurts when you really work
out the kinks, but Zayns not trying to work them out. Hes just gently kneading Liams shoulder,
and then sliding his fingers down Liams spine. Liam shivers.

Relax, Zayn says quietly. Come on, Liam. Youre fine.

Right, Liam nods, and tries, he really does. He leans back into Zayns touch, but he knows that
hes still tensed, still holding back a bit.

Liam, Zayn says, and his breath is on Liams neck now, and his fingers are finding the bottom
of Liams shirt. Can I take this off?

Yeah, Liam says, closing his eyes. He lifts his arms when the shirt comes up and he doesnt see
what Zayn does with it, but he assumes its somewhere on the floor now.

Zayns hands are impossibly warm against his skin, and Liam cant remember the last time
someones touched him without material between them. A long, long time, he knows. Zayns
fingers are a bit rough, too, with calluses that somehow only make his touch that much better.

His fingers ghost over Liams ribs, and then reach around to slide over his stomach. He feels Zayn
trace the indentations of his abs, and then his hands slide up and his nails scratch against Liams
nipples. Liam makes a surprised sound, but Zayn just leans forward so that hes blanketing Liams
back with his body.

Were going to miss the whole movie, Zayn warns, teeth grazing Liams neck.

Ive already seen it, Liam replies, voice barely a whisper. He doesnt know why, since no one is
here to hear them, but he feels like he should be whispering.

They havent even kissed yet - not that Liam has any doubts that they will- but hes already hard,
straining against his jeans. When Zayns lips, soft and just a bit wet, press to the spot below his
ear, Liam groans. You can turn around again, if you want, Zayn says against his skin.

Liam nods and hopes the problem in his jeans isnt too obvious when he faces Zayn again. But
Zayn doesnt really notice much, apparently, because the second theyre face to face, Zayns lips
are on his, and he pushing Liam back against the couch.

Liam might be bigger than Zayn, physically, but Zayn moves with confidence and authority, and
Liam lets him guide the kiss and their bodies. When Zayns tongue gently prods at the seam of his
mouth, Liam parts his lips and lets Zayns tongue brush against his, gently at first and then more
insistently as Liam moans into his mouth.

Liam isnt exactly experienced. Hes been with only one other man, and that had been awkward
and uncomfortable. This, though, this is perfect, and theres something that just feels right about
the way Zayns body fits over his, the way his weight pushes down on Liam.

When Zayn moves his hips downwards, showing Liam that hes just as into this, Liam knows hes
a goner. Knows that no amount of worrying or stress or trying to be cautious is going to be able to
stop this, because he wants it. He wants it so bad, and Zayn apparently does, too.

Bedroom, Liam says against Zayns lips. Yeah?

Zayn scrambles off him so quickly that Liam cant hold back the giggle that bubbles up inside
him.

Shut up, Zayn says, cheeks flushed. Ive been wanting this for months, and Ive been dying
while waiting for you to catch up.

Liams eyes drop to his crotch, where Zayn is very obviously sporting an erection, and he
swallows. Ive caught up.

Zayn offers him a hand up, and Liam takes it. Zayn tugs him into his arms and kisses him slowly,
all the while backing him towards the bedrooms. Which one? he questions, barely separating
their lips.

Left, Liam answers.

Liam learns firsthand how good Zayn is at multitasking, because he keeps up the kiss all the way
through the bedroom door, and by the time he falls back onto Liams bed -- pulling Liam on top of
him while he does--, hes got Liams jeans undone.

Liam kneels with his legs on both sides of Zayns body and fumbles with Zayns pants, fingers
slipping over the buttons until Zayn puts a hand on his wrist, stopping him, and then undoes it
himself. Liam should be embarrassed by that, but he cant find the emotion inside of him.

Off, Zayn orders, tugging on Liams jeans.

Liam nods and awkwardly leans over so that he can get them off, and then hes straddling Zayn,
nothing but his boxers and Zayns pants separating them. Except he wants Zayns pants off, too.
And his shirt. And everything. Like, now.

Come on, Liam says, falling onto his side so hes laying next to Zayn. He puts a hand on
Zayns stomach, underneath his shirt. Unfair. Im almost naked and youre fully dressed.

Youre impatient, Zayn teases, but he sits up and pulls off his shirt, tossing it to the ground with
Liams jeans. Liams too busy taking in each of his tattoos - so many of them, all of which Liam
wants to test, see how permanent they really are, by attempting to get them off with his tongue- to
pay attention to the way Zayn shucks off his socks, too, and then his jeans. And then his boxers,
and suddenly Liam is seeing so much skin, all dark and smooth, and hes a bit overwhelmed.

His eyes move from Zayns chest, downwards. He takes in the indentations of Zayns hips, and
the curve of his thighs and the knobs of his knees. He takes in the wiry muscle that covers most of
his body, and then finally he stops at where Zayns cock juts out of dark curls, long and hard and
laying flat against his stomach.

You can do more than look, Zayn says easily, and Liam wonders how someone can be so
comfortable being looked at with that much scrutiny while naked, but then again, Zayn is
gorgeous, so hes not got anything to be embarrassed about.

He wants to touch, he does, hes just not sure where to start. He doesnt want to seem like a
fumbling virgin - which hes not-, but the way Zayn just lays there, so casual and calm, tells Liam
that Zayn is a lot better at this than he is, and it makes his nerves worsen.

Hey, Zayn sits up suddenly, and he presses their foreheads together. Whatever youre
comfortable with.

Im comfortable with a lot, Liam tells him. Im just-,

Do I need to help you relax again? Zayn asks, hands sliding down Liams back. They slip under
the waistband of his boxers.

Um, Liam says, because its all hes really capable of.
Zayn chuckles and guides Liam to lay down flat on his back. With a lift of Liams hips and a tug
on the material from Zayn, Liams boxers are gone, too. The way Zayns eyes sweep over him,
slow, unabashed, makes him squirm.

Zayn starts by kissing Liam again, this time chastely, closed mouthed, and then he moves to
Liams jaw, nips at his birthmark, and moves down his chest, too. He takes extra time with Liams
abs, tongue and teeth raking over them, lips sucking at the skin. Liams painfully hard by that
point, anticipating what he knows is going to come, but just isnt coming fast enough.

Zayns eyes are intensely trained on Liams when he finally wraps his hand around Liams cock.
He holds Liams gaze for a long moment before lowering his mouth. Liam feels the warmth of his
breath against him, and fuck, Liam wants more, but the way Zayn is teasing him is good, too, and
so he just watches and waits.

Zayns mouth is warm and wet when he slides his lips over the head of Liams cock. Liam cant
look away from where those lips wrap around him, slick and obscene, and he tangles a hand in
Zayns hair, fingers scraping gently but encouragingly against his scalp. Zayn hums his approval,
and the sound Liam makes because of that is extremely undignified.

If you keep making sounds like that, Zayn says, pulling off him, Im gonna finish before you
even get a hand on me.

Liams head falls back against the bed because, really, he cant just say that when Liams barely
staying sane with the affects from his mouth. He doesnt need Zayns words to wreck him, too.
Please, Liam begs, eyes closed. Just-,

Zayn complies immediately, his lips enveloping him again. This time, he swirls his tongue around
him, too, and Liams moan slips out without his consent. Zayns fingers dig into his thigh at the
sound of that, but he just takes Liam farther into his mouth, until Liams hitting the back of his
throat.

Zayn is way too good at what hes doing, and Liam already feels his control slipping by the time
Zayns hand moves from his thigh. When the tip of his finger ghosts over Liams entrance, he
cant help it; he keens and bucks up into Zayns mouth. Zayn was apparently looking for that
reaction, because he pulls off Liam once again.

Do you have anything? he asks, looking up at Liam expectantly.

Under- under the bed, Liam tells him, unable to get up and grab it himself.

Zayn reaches under the bed and pulls out the plastic bag filled with the brand new bottle of lube
and pack of condoms. He smirks, raising his eyebrows. I cant tell if youre cocky or just
carefully prepared.

The second one, Liam says, a bit embarrassed. He realizes how it looks, but he didnt expect
Zayn to do anything. He just thought that, you know, in case things did happen, it was best to
have stuff. That, and Louis had grabbed Emmas arm at the pharmacy to pull her towards the
candy, while he pushed Liam pointedly in the direction of the condom aisle.

Zayn doesnt ask if hes okay again, probably because Liam is practically radiating vibes of yes,
please, now. Hes got his legs spread, and hes leaning up on his elbows like a freaking invitation,
but he doesnt care if he looks desperate because, well, he is.

Theres a moment of hesitation though, while Zayns popping the lid on the bottle and slicking up
his fingers, while hes not touching Liam at all. Liams mind races, questioning what the fuck hes
even doing. Hadnt he just a week or so ago told Zayn he couldnt do this? And now he was
jumping into bed with him after the first date.

Ive got you, Zayn says quietly, and Liam prays that he really does, because hes completely
fucked if not.

His fingers are back at Liams entrance, but this time theyre cooler, slick. Liam tenses a bit,
waiting, but Zayn catches him off guard by swallowing the length of him again before pushing in.
Its been so long since anyones even touched him close to there, and theres the slight discomfort,
but Zayns unsurprisingly good with his fingers, and by the time he worked in the second one,
hed found that bundle of nerves that made the slight stretch worth it, his fingers brushing against
it exactly when Liam needed, sending sparks through him.

By the time Zayns pushes in a third finger, Liams hands are curling in the sheet. The only thing
thats stopped him from coming already was Zayns mouth pulling off him every few minutes, like
he could tell when Liam was close and was keeping him just on the edge. It was horrible and
wonderful and Liam is pretty sure that it was Zayns goal to ruin sex with anyone else for him,
because he couldnt see someone else being able to do this for him the way that Zayn was.

Zayns fingers slowly slip all the way out of him, and then Zayn looks up into Liams eyes with a
question in his own. Liam just nods frantically because he feels like his skin is on fire and, as
much as hes enjoying this - fuck, hes enjoying this-, hes not sure how long he can handle
anymore teasing touches and almost there orgasms.

Zayn smiles and leans up to kiss him once, reaching for the condom, but he stops and grabs a
pillow to tucks under Liams head before putting the condom on. Theres a tenderness in him that
Liam hadnt noticed before, and it makes those voices in Liams mind, the ones that question
everything, quiet down.

Theres pain, a bit, but Zayn is careful with him. He bends his head into the crook of Liams neck
and whispers things that arent sweet at all, but somehow sound like they are anyways, the way
theyre whispered slowly against his skin.

You feel so good, Zayn tells him. Fuck, Liam, so good. Sprawled out under me, like you were
made for this. And the sounds you make, the ones you try to hold back. Fuck, when was the last
time you let someone touch you? I dont want to ever stop touching you. God, I could fuck you
forever, everywhere. The couch, the coffee table, bent over the counter, the floor. Fuck, Liam.
And then its just a litany of his name, repeated over and over, slowly, like hes savouring the taste
of it on his tongue.

Finally, when the stretch isnt burning so much, Liam tugs gently on Zayns hair. Come on, he
urges. Zayn, come on.

Zayn nods, hair tickling Liams neck. He pulls out slowly before pushing back in, and its easier
this time, and the next time, until hes moving faster, nails digging into Liams waist. Liam knows,
in the back of his mind, that there will be bruises there tomorrow, and he doesnt care. He wants
them, wants to keep some mark of this, because part of him feels like its not real.

The sound of the bed frame hitting the wall fills the room- it was a cheap thing, picked up at a
second-hand store-, coupled with the few moans that slip through Liams lips, and the occasional
grunt from Zayn. Hes going to have to apologize to Niall tomorrow, but he doesnt care, because
Zayns hitting that spot inside of him just frequently enough to keep him crying out.

Their bodies are slick with sweat as they slide together, and Zayns eyes fall closed when Liam
cards his hands through Zayns hair, knowing hes tugging a bit hard but he cant help it, cant
really control his fingers. Zayn, he lets out, fumbling to get a hand on himself because he needs
to come, he needs to come so badly its almost painful.

Zayns eyes fly open and his lips are parted in a silent o as he looks down at where Liam is
fisting himself, trying to move his hand to the same rhythm that Zayn is using to pound into him.
Say it again, Zayn tells him, putting a hand on the back of Liams knee.

What? Liam asks breathlessly.

My name, Liam, s-say it again, he orders.

Hes not even putting on an act, when he moans out Zayns name, hes just not holding back
anymore. Its loud, and Zayns hips stutter in their movements and his fingers tighten their grip on
Liams skin. Liam jerks himself quickly, knowing that Zayns close, and just as he feels Zayn
tense above him, hears Zayn suck in a harsh breath, he comes over his fingers between their
bodies to the feeling of Zayn pulsing inside him.

Hes only dimly aware of Zayn pulling out of him, mind too fogged by the after-orgasm bliss. He
cant move, just yet, not even to find something to clean himself off. He hasnt had an orgasm like
that in- ever, really. He definitely didnt remember sex being that fucking good, because if he had
he might not have argued with Louis and Nialls arguments that sex is needed to function.

Told you I had you, Zayn says.

Hes sprawled out beside Liam, body facing the ceiling, head turned to meet Liams eyes. Hes
got a cocky smile on his face, too, but Liam doesnt pay attention to that. He pays attention to the
shine on Zayns forehead from sweat, the way his hair sticks on end even more because Liams
dragged his fingers through it. He focuses on the way Zayns eyes are heavily lidded, and his
limbs are spread out, as if hed just flopped down beside Liam and didnt have the energy to
rearrange them.

Zayn isnt just attractive, with his smirks and his tattoos and those eyes. Hes beautiful.

Yeah, Liam agrees. You definitely did.

Zayn frowns at him and brushes a hand over Liams cheek. Still do, he promises, and leans
forward to kiss Liam again.

Liam sits up quickly, causing Zayn to jerk back. I need to clean myself up, Liam explains,
though thats not really the reason he got up. It was a good excuse, though, one that Zayn doesnt
question.

Zayn sits up, too, already reaching for his boxers. Liam grabs his own, and his pants, for good
measure, before ducking out of his bedroom and into the bathroom. He runs the water and
retrieves the hand towel from under the sink before wetting it and cleaning himself off.

This wasnt going to change things. It was perfect and wonderful and Liam wished it had, but he
couldnt just date Zayn. Zayn knew that, Liam had told him. He shouldnt have let this happen at
all. He shouldnt have let Louis talk him into it, and he probably should have kept it in his fucking
pants, but he didnt. And now he was going to have to go back out there and face Zayn, and
what? What was he supposed to do? Thank him for the sex and send him on his way?

Liam has no idea. This is why he cant do casual sex. Liam cant do casual anything.

He sighs and tosses the wet towel back under the sink. Hell deal with that tomorrow. In fact, hell
deal with it all tomorrow. Thats exactly what hell do.
Liam pulls on his boxers and decides to forgo the pants. He heads back into his bedroom to find
Zayn sitting there, boxers on, too, and his own pants in his lap.

I wasnt sure what you wanted, Zayn admits, frowning down at his pants. I didnt want to get
dressed, in case you wanted me to stay, but I also didnt want you to come back here ready to kick
me out, wondering why I havent gotten out of your bed yet.

You can stay, Liam tells him. If you want.

Zayn grins. Yeah, sure.

Its only ten, though, Liam informs him, grinning sheepishly. You sure you want to head to
bed now?

Zayn drops his pants on the floor and crawls up Liams bed. He crosses his arms behind his head.
I like to cuddle.

Liam snorts. Seriously?

Zayn give shim an offended look. What, I dont look like a cuddler?

No, Liam admits.

Turn off the light, yeah?

Liam complies, plunging the room into darkness with the flick of the switch. Thankfully he knows
his room well enough that he doesnt trip on the way over to the bed. He climbs in beside Zayn,
and they both lay on top of the blankets.

Zayn is the first to move, rolling over to throw a leg over Liams. Liam wraps his arm around
Zayns back, holding him close. Its a bit hot in his room, and their chests are a bit sweaty where
they touch, but he doesnt care at all. For once hes not falling asleep with a whole bed to himself.
For once, theres someone elses breathing accompanying his own in the dark.

And he doesnt feel completely alone.

--

Liam wakes up alone. The faint smell of Zayns cologne lingers in the room, and the side of the
bed hed slept on was still a mess. That was the only indication that hed been there, though. His
clothes were gone, every article picked up off the floor.

Liam gets out of bed with a yawn and a stretch. His body aches in just the right ways, and he
figures Zayns in the living room or something. Except every trace of him is gone from there, too.
The dirty dishes from dinner, the wine bottle, the cartons from the takeaway. Gone.

And Zayn isnt there.

Liam blinks in confusion but hes not stupid. Zayn is gone. Hes fucked Liam, slept with him, too,
and then ditched out in the morning without a note or a warning or anything.

He feels cold, as he heads to the bathroom to shower. He needs to shower. He needs to feel warm
again.

The only thing that reminds him that he didnt make up the whole night are the barely noticeable,
but still there, bruises on his hips, shaped like fingerprints.

After hes showered - long enough to use up all the hot water- Liams feeling better. In fact, hes
grateful that Zayn left. That was what he needed. It was his out. He couldnt date Zayn, and now
he had a reason not to. It was the best for everyone involved.

So why does he still feel like shit?

Liam busies himself with getting dressed, and then he cleans Nialls pan and returns it to him.
Nialls whole face is a giant grin when he answers the door.

Had fun last night? he asks, and then continues before Liam can open his mouth. You dont
need to answer that. Trust me, I know you did. Zayn, Zayn, oh Zayn!

Liams gut twists. Yeah. Heres your pan.

Niall frowns at him. Whats wrong? Youre missing that blissful I just had sex glow.

Nothing, Liam denies. Just tired.

I bet, Niall agrees, nodding lewdly.

Liam looks down at his watch and pretends to be surprised. Louis and Em are going to be back
soon, he says quickly. Sorry, Ive got to clean up after last night.

Maybe get in a quick round before you send him on his way! Niall calls after him. Liam shuts
the door before he can tell Niall that Zayn had already went on his way, without saying goodbye.

Things with Louis are pretty much the same as they were with Niall. Louis makes as many
carefully worded - for Emmas benefit - comments as he can, waggling his eyebrows constantly.
Eventually Liam just kicks him out, too tired to put up with it anymore, but for some reason
unable to tell Louis that Zayn hadnt left after some lovely, romantic breakfast that they cooked
together in their underwear, but instead ducked out while Liam was asleep.

Still, he wasnt mad at Zayn for the lack of warning. In fact, why had he expected any different?
And would things have happened another way if the tables had been turned, and theyd met at
Zayns place instead? Or would it have been Liam sneaking out in the middle of the night?

The thing is, he knows he wouldnt have. Because as much as he thinks Zayn is a bad idea, last
night made it pretty obvious that Liam isnt capable of turning him away. In fact, Liam wants to
keep him too, now, and thats not really fair. He shouldnt have let Zayn walk into his life, either,
because maybe his daughter would understand another person walking out on them, but Liam
knows that he cant.

So they dont talk again. Maybe it should have been Zayn to contact Liam, but Liam could have
called or texted him, too. They both had each others numbers, but neither of them made the effort.
And maybe that was for the best.

By the time Christmas hols comes up, and Liams got more free time because the lack of school,
he barely even thinks of Zayn, except maybe when he crawls into bed and lays on top of the
blankets, but he tries not to do that often because it always ends with him coming over his own
fingers to the thought of Zayn fucking him and, really, he needs therapy or something. Hes
pathetic.
Four days before Christmas, Louis bursts into his apartment. Near the holidays his outfits are even
worse; hes wearing a bright green sweater and red skinny jeans. Thats what Liam notices first.
The second thing, though, is that his eyes match his pants.

Louis, Liam says instantly, going over to him. He doesnt even hesitate before wrapping his
arms around Louis waist. Hey, whats up?

Lou? Em calls softly from behind them. Dont be sad.

Louis lets out a chocked sob into Liams shoulder and then lets him go so he can scoop Emma up
into his arms. Never sad when Im with you, sweetie, he tells her. He looks expectantly at Liam.
Which is why Im wondering if I can spend Christmas Eve here, with you guys?

Liam frowns at him. Arent you going home?

Louis doesnt miss Christmas with his family. He knows that Louis schooling and ( extremely
well) paid internship keep him from heading back home every week, but he always goes back
during the holidays. Any excuse to spoil his sisters and see his mum, Louis takes.

Cant, Louis says offhandedly, spinning Em in a circle while trying to discreetly wipe his tears
off with his shoulder. Louis doesnt cry in front of people, he just doesnt. I have to be in the
office for most of Christmas Eve, and then I have to be back the day after Christmas, too. Its non-
negotiable. If I dont come in, Im fired, and there goes my recommendations, my chances of a
future. I have no choice, and I already checked flights. I can afford to fly out there, even just for
the night, but, unfortunately, theres not a single flight Christmas Eve or the day after heading into
town, so

Thats bullshit, Liam says instantly. For once in their entire lives, its Louis who scolds him for
swearing. Sorry, but Louis-- you cant--,

I can, and I will, Louis says fiercely. Ill make it up to them. Ive already scheduled off the rest
of the week after that. Were just going to celebrate a little late, thats all. He puts Emma on the
ground, and she wobbles a bit. Get uncle Lou a drink, yeah? he asks.

Emma nods and runs off to the kitchen.

Im sorry, Liam tells him, putting an arm around Louis shoulder. He guides him to the couch
and they both sit down. This sucks.

Yeah, well. Louis voice is higher pitched than normal, and he tilts his head towards the ceiling,
as if willing away the threat of anymore tears. Im dealing. But I can come over after work on
Christmas Eve? Crash on the couch? You know Ive spoiled her.

Liam nods. Of course. When are you ever not welcome here?

Louis hugs him again, so tight it hurts. He presses a kiss to Liams forehead. Id date you, you
know, Louis tells him. If I could look at your penis without shuddering. Liam makes a face at
him. What? Youre my best mate. Its not that you have a deformed penis, its actually quite
lovely, youre very well endowed. I just--, he does shudder then, for show. Ew.

Luckily enough, I dont actually want to date, Liam says, sounding more confident than he
feels.

Emma returns, and Liam looks to the kitchen to check what took her so long, only to realize shes
got chocolate pudding around her mouth. She hands Louis his can of Cola innocently, smiling as
if shes gotten away with it.

Was the pudding good? Liam asks her, and she shrieks and runs to the bathroom. Liam just
shakes his head fondly.

Is that why youre not asking Zayn on another date? Louis asks, ignoring the whole thing. Hes
giving Liam a calculating look, like hes trying to find the loose screw in him.

No, Liam says hotly. Louis gives him a look. Maybe. But at least I have an excuse for not
calling him. Whats his for not calling me? Or for ducking out in the morning without so much as
a thanks for the fuck, Liam ?

Louis gapes at him. He didnt.

Liam shrugs. Yeah, he did.

Oh my God, Louis shakes his head, his own problems momentarily forgotten. What a prick.
Why didnt you tell me before? Im telling Harry right now, just you wait. That curly haired giant
is going to smack him until next Tuesday, I swear--, Liam grabs Louis hand and stops him from
pulling out his phone.

Dont, Liam tells him. Seriously, this is a good thing.

How is this a good thing? Louis demands.

Because, Liam tries to think of a way to word it so Louis understands. Its just-- the best for
all of us. I cant expect him to want to be with someone with a kid, and I also cant just throw
myself out there, Louis. I cant, okay? I cant--, Liam sucks in a breath. I cant be left alone
again. It hurt too much the first time, and Im not ready yet to risk that happening again.

Li, Louis says slowly, tilting his head in a way that says he clearly pities Liam, but doesnt want
to say it, because Louis understands how much it pisses Liam off when people pity him. Louis is
the same as him in that aspect. Do you want me to fuck his best friend to get back at him?

Liam snorts. Still looking for excuses to have sex with Harry?

Yes, Louis sighs, falling back against the couch. Emma comes of the bathroom with the
chocolate off her face and guilty pout. Liam just opens his arms, indicating that she come sit with
him. Two nights ago I watched the last episode of Sherlock again and then convinced myself that
it was okay to call him to come over for you know, because I was in a grieving period and it
would be helpful.

Liam laughs loudly and Emma joins in, not that she has any idea what theyre talking about. She
just does that sometimes, laughs to feel included. Louis pinches her cheeks for it. Are you
laughing at me?

Yes, Emma says seriously. Your shirt is silly.

Liam seconds that one.

--
He shouldnt have left it to last minute. Seriously, who leaves one of the most important presents
you plan to get your child until two days before Christmas? Someone who had to wait for their
pay check to come in, thats who. And someone who wasnt sure theyd be able to afford it.

Liam worked at a diner. His pay check covered his rent, and his tips covered everything else.
Sometimes that meant that Liam could take Em out every time Louis invited them, and other times
it meant that they were eating hamburger helper three times a week. It all depended on tips.

Near Christmas, though, he couldnt help it. He pushed aside the rent and prayed that his tips
would make up for it, while blowing most of his check on presents. Hed already gotten Em
clothes, and a few toys. And hed splurged on a real tree, not the shitty, short, lopsided plastic one
theyd had last year. Emma had been delighted.

Liam tries not to spoil her, most of the time. Maybe hes biased, but hes pretty certain that hes
raised her well. He tries as hard as he can, and sometimes its excruciatingly difficult, but shes a
good kid. Shes polite and well behaved. Sure, she has her moments, the ones where Liam just
wants to lock himself in the bathroom and cry because how did he let his life get like this? And
why had he thought he could handle this? But he sucks it up and deals with it, and she apologizes
and hugs him even though hes taken away her toys for two days.

Christmas time, though, is when hes allowed to spoil her. With neither of her grandparents
around, and Liam not having that many friends, or other close family members, he has to spoil her
to make up for it. Hell be damned if his daughter ever feels like shes missing out because its just
the two of them. Hell do anything to make up for it.

Louis the exact same way. Hes seen the blue child-sized toy car Louis bought. He thought it was
way too expensive, but Louis just waved him off, ignoring his comment. Liam was kind of glad,
because he knew Em would love it.

He wasnt sure what Niall got, and he knew it wouldnt be extravagant, like Lous gift, but that
Em would love it just the same.

Liams big gift was the giant Dora doll, the one that was just as tall as Em and cost eighty quid
which, on its own, maybe, wasnt that expensive, but coupled with everything else was a bit out
of his price range. Except hed gotten a huge tip that night, and hed already budgeted everything.
He could afford it.

The store was packed and Liam literally had to run to get the doll, only beating the woman with
the child glued to her arm because he darted across the store the second she made a beeline for it.
It was the last one, and he had worked his ass off to make the money to get it.

He borrowed Lous car to go to the store, while Louis stayed at the apartment to watch Emma. As
hes pulling up in front of his building, his phone vibrates in his pocket. Liam pulls it out quickly,
ready to run up the stairs as fast as he can if somethings wrong with Emma.

Its not Louis, calling to inform him that Emmas fallen out of the window or something equally
horrible that has his race picking up just from thinking. No, its Zayn, which has his race picking
up too, for different reasons. One of them being the fact that hes upset with Zayn, now. The other
being because he cant stop connecting Zayns voice now to the one hed used to whisper in
Liams ear that night.

Hey, he says easily, as if theyre two people who talk on a regular basis. Theyre not. Howre
you doing, Liam?

Liam snorts and tugs the keys out of the ignition. Hes leaving the doll in the car, letting Louis
take it home with him until Christmas Eve. That way Emma doesnt figure out what it is.

Just fine, thanks, Liam says in a clipped tone.

Cool, cool, Zayn says, and Liam can tell that hes retreated into himself a bit, no longer
sounding bright and cheerful, but instead more cool and indifferent. He hated that Zayn could do
that, flip a switch and turn himself off. Hey, I, um, hope this isnt crossing a line, but I- I mean, it
wasnt intentional, I was just out and I seen the box and something just made me buy it, but -,

Today, Zayn, please, Liam says, clutching the phone tighter than necessary. Hes just sitting in
the driver seat of Louis car, staring out the window, trying to find hatred inside of him for Zayn
and failing.

I got Emma a present, Zayn explains. And I was wondering if I could drop it off. With you, of
course. You dont even have to tell her its from me.

Liam blinks. You got her a gift.

Yeah, its not a big deal, Zayn says carefully. Like I said, I just saw it and figured shed like it.
It was cheap. Not a big deal, he repeats.

Um, Liam swallows. Fuck, thats not fair. Thats not fair, because Liam feels any animosity
directed towards Zayn slipping away, but that doesnt make him happy. It makes him hurt,
because then he starts feeling that twisting in his gut, the one that says that Zayn wasnt there
when he woke up, that Zayn wouldnt be there in a year, or two. That hed just keep leaving
Liam, because thats what people did.

So I can bring it by? I can swing over there in, like, ten minutes.

Liam shakes his head no while saying, Sure. Ill be outside.

He drums his fingers on the steering wheel while he waits, all the while silently question his entire
fucking life. Why does he do stupid things? No, scratch that. Why does Zayn make him do stupid
things without even meaning to? Fucking Zayn.

And now hes thinking about fucking Zayn. Shit. No, he cant do this. Hes just going to go
upstairs and forget about the whole conversation, and maybe Zayn will take the hint that hes not
welcome and just walk away.

Except Zayns knocking on the window, and Liam turns to him, eyes wide. Hi, Liam squeaks,
pushing open the car door, keys fisted tightly in his hands. Um, Id invite you in but- youd just
leave again - I have guests.

Oh, Zayn looks disappointed, but the expression is gone so quickly Liams pretty sure it was
just his wishful thinking that had him seeing it. Right. Here, he says, thrusting a bag at Liam.

Liam takes it, opening the bag. Inside is an unwrapped box, which Liam takes out and examines.
Theyre body pens, Zayn explains. Theyre meant for kids. They can colour on themselves, or
anything, really, and it comes off with a bit of water. Theyre non-toxic, so theyre completely
safe. I just thought since, you know, she was interested in my tattoos and all.

Liam looks at him, wondering why he feels like crying. Zayns got his hands tucked into the
pockets of his jeans, and his hair is back in his normal quiff. He looks so good, and Liam wishes
he didnt.

Youre encouraging the tattoo, Liam makes himself joke. When she comes home at thirteen
with a real one, Im blaming you.

Zayn laughs for a moment before the sound cuts off abruptly. Good luck getting a hold of me
that far in the future.

Right, Liam says quietly, because he is. Like Zayn would even be around next month, let alone
so long from now. How is it that hed managed to twist Liams light-hearted joke and then stab
Liam in the chest with it? Ive got to go, actually. Thanks. Im- I know shell love it.

Zayn nods. Sorry for not wrapping it. Im shit at wrapping.

Its fine, Liam assures him. Um, right. Bye.

See you round, Liam, Zayn says softly before turning around and heading down the street.

When he gets into his apartment he shoves the box into Louis hands with a quick, Tell her its
from Zayn. Or dont. I dont know, before he ducks into the bathroom.

He hears Louis calling his name softly, but hes doing it quietly enough that Liam can pretend not
to hear it, giving him an out. Liam turn on the water and takes it.

A few moments later he splashes water on his face and leaves the bathroom. Emmas arms are
already coated in every colour the box provided. Louis face has been drawn on, too, and Liam
cant help but chuckle at the two of them.

You want one too, daddy? Emma asks, holding up the blue pen.

Liam grins and bends down to sit beside her on the floor Sure.

I told her who they were from, Louis admits. Thats okay, right?

Liam shrugs. Yeah.

Theres a question in Louis eyes, but theres more inside Liams head. He cant answer anything,
so he just lets his daughter take his arm and colour on it.

It isnt until shes recapped the pen that he looks down and reads the shaky writing. You match
Zee, she says happily, and he does. Though his was obviously written by a child, he can see the
similarities between what his daughter drew on his arm and the ZAP tattoo on Zayns. Liam gets
up and washes it off, ignoring the way Emmas lips curl down and her eyes water.

How about we give him a new one? Louis says quickly, scrambling for the pens before she can
cry. Here, Liam, now! Louis commands, and not a minute later Emma is back to smiling and
giggling.

--

Christmas Eve, Emma is all restless energy. Nialls over, along with Lou -- who is still planning to
crash on the couch. Niall has family, but theyre all in Ireland. Liam still hasnt gotten the full story
about that, but all he does know is that Niall and his family arent close, not even close enough for
him to spend the holidays with them.

Emma stays up until eleven, far later than Liam ever lets her. By the time he gets her to bed, Louis
Emma stays up until eleven, far later than Liam ever lets her. By the time he gets her to bed, Louis
and Niall are well on their way to getting drunk off a bottle of wine that Louis brought over.

Once hes sure Emmas asleep, he takes a glass from himself.

Im taking a picture of this, Louis announces, pulling out his phone. This is like seeing animals
do people things. Liam Payne is drinking.

Niall barks out a laugh, one that he doesnt have to worry about Emma waking up because of,
because hed turned Dora up extra loud, just to be safe.

Liam swats Louis phone, but Louis pulls it out of the way at the last second and clicks the button,
flash blinding Liam momentarily. I hate you, Liam tells him, blinking rapidly.

Aw, Louis pulls Liam in and kisses him sloppily on the cheek. I happen to love you. Mm, and
you too, Niall. You drunken little shit.

Same to you, Niall slurs to Louis. You sarcastic tit.

Im not drunk enough for this, Liam tells them both, and then attempts to fix that by taking a
large sip of the wine. Its sweater than the stuff Zayn had brought over.

This isnt so bad, Louis decides, sighing as he leans back into the couch. I mean, I still miss my
family but-- Im still spending Christmas with family, I guess. Just a different part of my family.

There is a group hug; its awkward, but its also nice. Then theres more alcohol, and Louis puts
on a CD and starts dancing around the apartment while Niall shoves his face with popcorn and
Liam continues to get steadily more drunk.

He cant remember the last time he got really, actually drunk. By the time midnight comes around,
though, hes smashed. Everythings a bit blurry, hes singing along to Mariah Carey with Louis,
and Niall is just watching them both like theyre insane.

Liams phone buzzes in his pocket halfway through the song, and Louis glares at him, telling him
not to get it. He does anyways, pulling it quickly out of his pocket and pressing it to his ear as he
heads to the bathroom.

Hello? he asks, slurring the ls.

Hey, Zayn answers, and Liam drops the phone. He scrambles to pick it up, and when he gets it
back to his ear Zayn says, Are you okay?

Mm, totally okay, Liam replies while looking at himself in the mirror. His cheeks are red, but
thats from the alcohol. Definitely from the alcohol. Are you okay, Zayn? Didnt you just see me,
like, two days ago? Like, wow, what do I do to deserve the honour of your attention?

I-, Zayn sucks in a breath. I just called to say Merry Christmas, but youre obviously wasted,
so-,

I am, Liam agrees. Totally wasted.

And thats a good thing, yeah? Zayn asks hesitantly.

He doesnt know why he says it, but he cant help it. Theres something warm inside him now,
and its not just the alcohol. Definitely a good thing, Liam says brightly. Nialls here and were
probably going to, you know, fuck, so he pulls the phone away from his ear and covers it with
his hand and then pretends to be talking to Niall when he says, Just a minute, babe, Ill get him
off the phone.

Dont worry about it, Ill let you go, Zayn snaps when he puts the phone back to his ear. Have
a nice life, Liam.

Liam notes that he didnt tell Liam hed seen him around this time.

When he steps into the living room, the CD is off and Louis and Niall are both looking at Liam.
Louis got his lips pursed and a hand on his hip; Niall looks torn between blushing and laughing.

Did you just tell Zayn that youre going to fuck Niall? Louis demands, raising his eyebrow.

Sorry, mate, but Im not, you know, Niall waves his hand, and now he is blushing. If I was, Id
totally go for you, though. Totally.

Liam sighs. I just wanted to make him jealous.

Louis eyes him warily. Is this your way of paying him back for everything?

Everything? Niall repeats.

Louis blinks at him and then puts a hand on Nialls head, ruffling his hair. Our Liam was
thoroughly fucked, and then thoroughly chucked. Or, what I mean is, he left before Liam woke
up, and then didnt talk to him for, like, weeks.

Thanks for putting it delicately, Liam tells him. He sinks onto the couch beside Niall and steals
Nialls glass of wine. I mean, its not like I really care. I dont, I dont care.

Louis ruffles his hair next. Course you dont, babe, Louis says, nodding. Of course you dont.

--

Liam wakes up at seven in the morning to two people jumping on his bed. One of those people
was his four year old daughter; the other was his twenty-three year old best friend.

Get up, Louis orders. There are presents to be opened. Why are you still asleep?

Liam groans. His head is pounding and he feels like hes just run a marathon. Because Im not
insane.

Daddy, Emma says, landing painfully hard on his arm. Hes going to kill Louis for teaching her
to jump on the bed. Up?

Liam sighs and rolls out of bed. Im up, he says. You two go wake up Niall and Ill make
breakfast. And coffee.

Neil! Emma shouts happily, already running out of the room. Before Louis or Liam can stop
her, shes pulling open the front door and escaping into the hallway.

Liam goes to run after her and give her trouble for that, but Louis puts a hand on his shoulder. I
got it, he says.

Liam lets him handle it, knowing that hed come off as the bad guy if he started Christmas
morning off by berating her with reasons why she cant just do that.

He heads for the coffeemaker first, knowing that if he even attempts to fry eggs before he gets
caffeine into his system, hes going to throw up. Even the smell of the coffee isnt that enticing,
but he puts the pot on and waits.

Niall looks about as good as Liam feels, but hes got a bright smile on his face and a wrapped
present in his hands. Couldnt wrap yours, Niall tells him, as he puts the present on the table. He
comes over to Liam and pours himself the first cup of coffee, sucking it down like its the only
thing keeping him alive or something.

You didnt have to get me anything, Liam says quickly.

Yes, he did, Louis tells him, reaching for the coffee pot, too. Tell him, Niall.

Baby-sitter for New Years, Niall says happily. Liams face falls. A reliable one, Liam. Its
Eleanors friend, Danielle. Trust me, this girls almost as much of a saint as you are.

Liam looks to his daughter, who is trying to look patient as she sits and waits for them, but her leg
is jiggling and Liam knows shes maybe two, three minutes away from a fit thatll make a
hurricane look friendly.

I dont know, Liam says slowly. For one, New Years at a club isnt exactly my thing. And I
dont like leaving her with strangers.

Liam, Niall says, pouting at him. Come on, man.

Id drag you there myself but Im not getting home until the day after, Louis says, giving Niall
an apologetic look. You can try it, Niall, just grab him by the arm and tug really hard. Works for
everyone else.

Liam glares at Louis but Emma says, Dad? in a sad, quiet voice. Presents?

Liam nods. Just let me get a coffee, he says quickly, gesturing for Louis and Niall to go sit with
her while he does so, just in case she decides thats not good enough.

You might want to make another pot, Louis advises. Youve got a drunk phone call to
apologize for later.

Liam frowns at Louis, but Louis already heading towards the couch. He turns his questioning
look to Niall, who just raises his hands defensively. Its as hes pouring his drink that he
remembers the call, and what hed said. Fuck, he does have a drunken phone call to apologize for.

The guilt slowly slips away as Emma opens her presents. Shes still smiling through the clothes -
both from himself and a few pieces from Louis, who couldnt resist-, but when she gets to the
toys, her smile is positively radiant. She opens Nialls gift first, finding inside a complete set of
every Dora the Explorer episode ever. Liam thanks him, but he knows that present is going to
drive him crazy.

Just a second, Liam tells her, getting up to go to his room. He grabs the giant stuffed Dora doll
and the car from Louis.

When she sees the car she shrieks and turns to Louis and wraps her arms around him. How the
hell she knew it was from Louis, Liam has no idea.

Youre welcome, baby girl, Louis tells her. Now open your dads present so we can see if I
can fit my big bum in that thing.

Emma giggles and grabs the stuffed toy from Liam. She rips the paper off, not having a care in the
world for where it lands, and then she looks at the doll with wide eyes. You got it? she asks,
turning to Liam. The doll from the store?

Liam grins. I knew you wanted it.

Emma hugs him tighter than should be possible for someone so small, and then she kisses his
cheek. Thank you, daddy.

Liam gently pushes her in the direction of the giant toy car. Id go try that out before Louis beats
you to it.

Emma gives Louis a serious look. If you want to try it first, thats okay.

Louis laughs and messes up her hair. Nah, Ill try it after.

After that, Liam starts breakfast while Niall cleans up the wrapping paper and Louis ducks into the
bathroom to take a call. He doesnt come out until Liams plating the food, and when he does, his
eyes are wide and he looks like a ghost.

He said-- he said he loves me, Louis says softly. He turns to Liam. Why would he do that?
Why?

Liams taken aback, but he tries to be calm here, because Louis obviously isnt. Um, because he
loves you?

He doesnt, Louis hisses. And he just ruined everything. All of it. Damn it. He wipes at his
cheeks. This isnt fair.

Niall gives Liam a terrified look and waves a hand at Louis, whose tears are falling faster than he
can wipe them away. Its not the loud, sobbing cries that normal people have, its silent, like hes
trying really hard not to but the tears just fall anyways.

Do something, Niall says, panicking.

I dont know what to do! Liam says, because Louis is just staring at the ceiling, steadily crying,
and Emmas honking the horn on her toy car, completely oblivious, and Christmas music is
playing softly in the background. He is at a loss for words.

Emma, Niall says frantically, and she looks up at him. Louis--,

Its sad, really, that a four year old reacts better to Louis tears than Niall or Liam could. She
quietly gets out of her car and wraps her arms around Louis legs. Dont cry, uncle Lou. Do you
want one of my presents?

Louis blinks down at her and tries to smile. Thats okay, Em.

Emma looks so heartbroken at Louis tears, but then her eyes widen. I know! she says, and she
runs into her room, only to appear a moment later with one of those stupid pens Zayn got her. She
grabs Louis arm and draws a huge, wobbly heart on it. There, now you cant be sad because I
love you.

Louis lets out a watery laugh and sits on the floor in front of her and steals the pen. He draws a
heart on her arm. And I love you, too.
Can we have breakfast now? Emma asks. Giving Louis love makes me hungry.

Liam nods, feeling tears in his own eyes, because, really, this - right here, everything in this
moment- is all he needs. His daughter, his best friends. He needs to stop thinking of his life as this
horrible thing that went wrong because, really, it didnt.

--

He doesnt call and apologize to Zayn. The thing is -and he can admit it, too-, hes a coward. Hes
a coward, and hes fine with that. He really is. If he has to be a coward to stop himself from
getting hurt, thats what hes going to do.

When Louis leaves, Liam drives with him to the airport. Louis lets him borrow the car for the
week, not that Liam needs it much. Just to get to and from work, since hes taking a cab with Niall
to the club.

He really, really doesnt want to go, but Niall is insistent. He shouldnt let him and Louis hang out
anymore. Louis a bad influence on everyone. But the girl he got to baby-sit, Danielle, is sweet
and, while Emma doesnt instantly take to her - like she did with, say, Zayn-, Emma likes her.
Liam knows shell be fine until he gets home that night.

We probably wont head home together, Niall admits on the car ride there. Hes already had a
few shots of vodka at home (Its cheaper to get a bit drunk before you go out so then you spend
less money on the overpriced drinks at the club, Niall explained earlier) and Liam feels slightly
less bad about ditching his daughter off to get drunk. Not that shes even awake now, but still.
Hes going to stumble in the door tonight, drunk, and what if shes awake? And what if she asks
whats wrong with him? This is such a bad idea.

Youll be fine, Liam, Niall says as they pull up out front of the club. The music is loud enough
from the outside, and theres a line-up at the door that looks like itll take about an hour to get
through.

Okay, Liam says uncertainly as they get out of the car.

Instead of heading for the back of the line, Niall goes up to the bouncer and whispers something in
his ear, and suddenly theyre waved into the club ahead of at least forty people.

What did you do? Liam shouts over the music.

Niall shrugs. Connections, Liam, you need to get some.

Niall leads him over to the bar, where the music is quieter but the crowds are just as bad. People
are everywhere, sweaty, smelling too heavily of perfume or cologne, and pressing up against him.
Liam definitely needs another drink, which Niall quickly provides. Its blue and tastes like juice
but burns the whole way down. Liam grimaces as he sips and Niall grins.

Im going to dance, Niall tells him. You okay here?

Liam nods and leans against the bar while sipping his drink.

Kiss someone at midnight, Niall shouts over his shoulder. Liam waves his hand dismissively.
Hes not planning on it.
Hes halfway through his drink and has actually had to deny two girls dances. He was surprised
both times they approached him, and he felt guilty saying no but he just wasnt into it. He didnt
dance, and if he did, hed rather do it with someone he was interested in.

Hey, someone says, bumping his shoulder.

Liam looks up to meet a pair of green eyes. Harry, he says, surprised.

Harrys got circles under his eyes, and he looks like he wants to ask Liam something important but
he doesnt.

Whatre you up to? he does ask, but Liam knows that its not the only question he has. Didnt
take this for your kind of thing.

Liam shrugs. Its not, really, he admits. Niall kind of dragged me out.

Harry purses his lips at that and he gives Liam a hard look. I know its not my place, but you
could have told him in a better way, Harry says quietly. I like you, Liam, I do, but you and
Louis- youre both really freaking good at hurting people.

Liam gapes at him. Harry-,

Harry raises his hand, cutting him off. No, its fine. Hes fine. Hell get over it, eventually, but it
wasnt cool. He really liked you. Like, a lot, and-,

Hes the one who didnt talk to me, Liam says, eyes narrowing a bit.

Harry laughs. He thought thats what you wanted. You told him literally a week before that that
you couldnt date him because of your situation, and he understood that. And then you invited him
over for a fuck, and he figured itd be easier to duck out before we brought Emma home.

It takes a minute for that to sink in, after the alcohol and the shock Liam feels at hearing the words.
But-- no, Liam shakes his head. No, he left and no.

Yes, Harry says firmly. Trust me, I was there to pick up the pieces afterwards.

Liam swallows, wondering if that guilty feeling inside him will ever go away. Zayn wasnt
ditching him off. He was doing what he thought Liam wanted. He was trying to be the good guy,
and Liam just assumed he was a prick.

He doesnt want to think about it anymore, though. No, he cant think about it, because if he does,
he might do something stupid. Like call Zayn, and apologize and beg for a second chance, and he
cant do that. Right? He cant.

Louiss just scared, Liam finds himself saying. Because of what you said.

I know, Harry admits, sighing. And I know I shouldnt have said it. He gives Liam a serious
look. I meant it, though. I did.

Liam nods. He knows that. Louis just- hes really good at not giving a shit about things, so good
that he doesnt really know how to handle actually caring about someone.

Harry chuckles bitterly at that. Yeah, I guess I got that before we even started -- whatever the
fuck that all was. If you talk to him-, Harry pauses and swallows. Tell him I said Im sorry, and
I wont bother him again.
Liam goes to tell Harry that he cant tell Louis that, that Louis will come around, because he will.
Liam knows Louis better than anyone, and he knows that Louis feelings for Harry are there,
buried under years of ice that hed built up around himself. Harrys walking away, though, and he
gets lost in the crowd before Liam can stop him.

Liam sips down the last of his drink and puts the cup on the counter before moving into the throng
of people, trying to spot Harrys curly head over everyone elses. The lights are too dim, though,
and the music is too loud for him to call Harrys name.

Liams in the middle of the crowd when the lights suddenly disappear all together. Everyone starts
cheering then, and on the left wall a giant number 10 appears. Everyone screams out the
countdown while Liam just stands and watches, waits, ready to go back and search for Harry
again after the lights come back on.

A pair of arms wrap themselves around Liams waist. He goes to turn and politely tell whoever is
on him to get off, when a voice says in his ear, Wheres your date?

Liam tries to turn around and explain to Zayn that Niall is not his date, but Zayns arms are like a
vice around him, holding him in place. Every time Liam manages to turn himself, Zayn just
follows the movement so that theyre still pressed together, Liams back to Zayns front, like a
weird dance.

How do you think hed feel if I fucked you in the bathroom? Zayn asks hotly, while everyone
screams out the number three. If I pushed you into a stall and sucked you off while you tried not
to make too much noise?

Its so inappropriate and Liams cheeks are burning, even though he knows no one can hear what
Zayns saying. His words are only for Liam. Unfortunately, the awkward situation in Liams pants
doesnt need to be heard, and hes pretty sure that if it werent so dark, everyone would be able to
tell just how much Zayn affect him.

When everyone screams out 1, Zayn says into Liams ear, Happy New Years, Liam.

He lets go, then, and Liam turns to face him. Zayns smirking, but theres something in his eyes
that contrasts with the tilt of his lips. Theyre hard and angry and hurt.

You coming, Liam? he asks, raising his eyebrows and extending his hand.

Liam looks down at it, then up into Zayns eyes one more time before linking his fingers with
Zayns. Zayn tugs him through he crowd easily, knowing his way around the place much better
than Liam does. A whole minute couldnt have passed by the time they get to the bathroom.

Liam feels eyes on them, but Zayn completely ignores everyone as he pushes open the door to one
of the stalls and kisses Liam roughly on the mouth while guiding him inside it. Liam is
embarrassed, he doesnt do this kind of thing, but he doesnt care enough to stop.

Zayn kicks the door closed but doesnt stop to lock it. It could open at any moment but he doesnt
seem to care as he pushes Liam against the wall of the stall and moves his lips to Liams neck. He
sucks at the skin, just beside his birthmark, trying - and most definitely succeeding- to making a
mark of his own.

Liams fingers card through Zayns hair, encouraging him, as he says, Nialls not my date. N-not
my date, I lied. I told- I told you hes just my neighbour and I meant it. I was-, Zayn bites at his
collarbone painfully, but not enough for Liam to pull him off. I was angry, okay? I was upset
with you, and I wanted to make you jealous.
Succeeded, Zayn tells him. He tugs at the buttons on Liams shirt, ripping one of them in the
process. Liam watches it hit the ground with a sense of detached lost. He liked this shirt.

Zayn, Liam says, sliding a hand up his back. Come on.

Im trying, Zayn growls in frustration. Fucking buttons.

No, I mean-, Liam gently pushes Zayn away from him. Not here. Im not fucking you in a
bathroom.

Zayn snorts. Why not?

Because.

What do you want from me, Liam? Zayn demands, pulling back so that theyre both leaning
against opposite walls now. The stall is small, though, and theres only inches between them,
really. I try to be gentle with you, try to make it mean something, and you freak the fuck out.
And then I try to fuck you like it doesnt matter, like you want, and its still not good enough.

Zayn-,

Youre giving off some pretty fucking confusing signals here, Zayn informs him, crossing his
arms over his chest. For the first time Liam takes in what hes wearing -sleeveless white shirt,
showing off his tattoos as much as his arms, and a simple pair of jeans-, and cant help but think
that he looks perfect, even with the angry, hurt look in his eyes.

Im sorry, Liam says gently. He wants to put a hand on Zayns arm, but he knows Zayn
wouldnt want him to.

So am I, Zayn says quietly. He pushes away from the wall and moves past Liam, out of the
stall. Liam follows him but Zayn doesnt slow down enough for Liam to catch up with him. Just
like with Harry, he loses Zayn in the crowd.

Liam has to carry Niall from the car to the apartment. He doesnt bring Niall home, a bit too
worried about his passed out friend to let him stay at home, and instead makes Niall a bed on the
couch. Nialls already paid Danielle, so he just thanks her and sends her on her way.

He checks on Emma, whos still sound asleep, before heading to bed himself. He pulls out his
phone before he falls onto the bed, though, and considers calling Zayn. In the end, he doesnt.

--

Louis makes up with Harry. Hes in such a brilliant mood after the visit home that he gets Harry to
meet him at his apartment after he drops Liam off at home -since Liam had to bring him the car-
and they apparently had the most fantastic make-up sex.

Liam thankfully has a distraction in the form of school again. In a year, hell take the fitness test,
and then hell do the pre-service training and, if everything goes right, within three years hell
have a real job as a fireman. Hell have a better pay, and his hours will be shit-- he knows it will
be hard with Emma, but theyll make it work-- but hell finally be able to get a house for them.
Hell be able to get a car, and theyll start living the life he wants for them.
Thats the thought that gets him through the droning classes, and the shifts at work. Hes just
killing time until his life really starts, thats how he looks at it.

So, Louis says on Saturday after coming over with two large coffees. I have a proposition for
you.

Liam raises his eyebrows, already feeling wary. If this involves Zayn-,

Louis sighs loudly. Liam, come on.

Louis, come on, he shoots right back.

I just think that youre both being ridiculous, and Harry agrees with me.

Its not like were a couple that broke up, Liam points out.

And I get that. But come on, Li, be honest. If it wasnt for--, he waves a hand would you go
for it?

Liam nods, because he knows he would.

So then come. Were celebrating, and Harry said Zayn wouldnt mind if you were there, which is
Zayn for please come Liam, youre the apple of my eye, love me forever. Liam gives him an
incredulous look. Just come. Youre both far too reasonable and smart for this not to work. I
honestly want to punch you both in the face.

I want to punch you in the face, Liam mutters.

Thatd be such a good example for your daughter. Im going to go make sure Niall can baby-sit.
He owes me for patching up things between him and El. He hugs Liam tightly. See you there,
babe, Ill text you the address.

Hes gone before Liam can tell him no again.

--

Liam stares up at the building in front of him. Hes passed by it hundreds of times in his life, not
giving it much thought. Its too nice for him to ever even considering moving into. Its the place
where rich people live. Really rich people. He swallows thickly.

Liam has no idea what Harry does for a living, but hes seen where Zayn works, and figures
Harry must have a really freaking good job, for them to be able to afford living here.

Theres a freaking doorman and everything, and he lets Liam in after Liam tells him who he is,
and where hes going. Liam feels like a ball of nerves the entire ride up to the eleventh floor, and
he sucks in a breath before knocking on the door, knowing that theres a chance Zayn might not
actually want him there.

Harry answers the door with a bright grin and hugs Liam. Thanks, he says quietly into Liams
shoulder. For what you said the other night. At the club.

Liam pulls back. No problem, he says.

Harry nods. Come in.

Their apartment is beautiful. Its surprisingly clean for two boys in their early twenties. The whole
back wall is giant windows, uncovered and showing a view of the city. The furniture is all black
and sleek, and Liam thinks of his shitty apartment and winces inwardly.

He cant see Louis or Zayn, but Harry just leads him into the kitchen, which is all shiny appliances
and granite countertops. He grabs them both a drink and Liam pops the can on his coke, taking a
large gulp.

This place is really nice, Liam says conversationally.

Harry grins. Right? You should have seen the shit place we were staying at before Zayns book
got published. We lived with four other guys, and they were slobs. It was horrible. Though,
between the two of us, its a bit much. I mean, I cant even afford half the rent, but Zayns pretty
pushy sometimes.

Liam blinks at him, eyes wide. His book? he asks.

Harry frowns. He didnt tell you? Liam shakes his head, and Harry hesitates before continuing.
He dropped out of Uni three years ago and started on his book. It was published last year, a best
seller, like, everywhere.

But-, Liam shakes his head. He works at that restaurant, and-,

Harry laughs loudly, clutching at his sides. He does that because hes bored, Harry explains.
Hes a freak, right? I mean, who works for fun?

Liam just stares at Harry, wondering how he can know literally nothing about Zayn and still feel
so much for him.

The front door opens and Louis voice proceeds his body into the kitchen. Liam! he says loudly.
You came!

He ignores his best friend, instead choosing to fix Zayn with a hard look. What are we
celebrating? he asks.

Zayn shrugs. Book deal.

You didnt tell me, Liam says quietly, and Harry grabs Louis arm and drags him out of the
kitchen, despite Louis twisting his head around to watch Zayn and Liam on the way out.

You didnt ask, Zayn points out.

Because I thought you worked at that restaurant! Liam says loudly. What was I supposed to
think? How was I supposed to know you did that for fun?

Is it really that important? Zayn asks, pulling bottles of wine out of the bags he and Louis had
carried in with them.

Yeah, it is, Liam tells him. Really important, actually. Youre a best selling writer, Zayn, thats
a big part of who you are, and you never told me.

Well you know now, Zayn says, uncorking one of the bottles. He grabs a glass, not offering one
for Liam, and pours himself a drink. Not that theres really any reason for you to care.
I care, Liam says instantly. You know I do.

Zayn whirls. Really? Because I dont think I do, Liam.

Youre the one who left, Liam says quietly. And the thing is, I knew you would. I just figure
itd be later on. And then, you know, I thought it was a good thing. That you ducked out early,
before we could get anywhere serious. But then you act like Im the one whos done something
wrong. Like Im the one who kicked you out, but I didnt.

Come on, Liam, Zayn says, rolling his eyes. You kicked me out when you ducked into the
bathroom that night and we both know it. I thought I was doing what you wanted by leaving.
Making things less complicated for you.

I just--, Liam runs a hand over his hair. Can we just start over?

Zayn stares at him, an indefinable look in his eyes. Start over.

Before we both fucked up.

Zayn continues to just stares at him for a moment before extending his hand. Liam takes it, and
they shake hands. Liam starts laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole situation, but then
Zayns lips are on his, cutting off the sound. He pushes Liam back against the counter and Liam
decides that he doesnt ever want granite countertops, because theyre painfully hard.

Zayn, Liam says against his lips. This is your idea of starting over?

Mhm, Zayn murmurs. Wanted you the second you walked into that stupid restaurant. Youve
got these shoulders, and eyes-- fuck.

Maybe we should--,

Should what? Zayn demands, pulling back.

Try going out on an actual date, Liam says slowly. Like normal people. This-, he waves a
hand at where Zayns body is still pressed flush against his, didnt exactly work in our favour last
time.

Zayn takes a step away from him and Liam wants to pull him back. He doesnt, though.

Okay, Zayn says slowly. But- all of us?

Liam frowns. I dont know if thats a good idea. I dont- I dont want her to assume things.

Look, Liam, Zayn says, stepping back into the space in front of Liam hed just evacuated. I
dont do things halfway, you should know that about me. I jump into things, headfirst, and thats
it. And I want you to trust that Im not just going to walk away without fair warning.

Fair warning, Liam repeats.

Zayn nods. You think youre the only one freaked out here, Liam? You have a kid. Thats a lot
of freaking pressure to put on someone.

I know, thats why-,

But the thing is, I actually do really, really well under pressure, Zayn informs him. Tell her- tell
her Im just a friend, like Louis, if you have to.
Liams still hesitant, but he cant see any reason not to. And the fact that Zayn is trying to include
Emma makes his hear hurt. How many guys had run away from his daughter? And then theres
Zayn, fighting for a chance to be involved with both of them. And Emma adored Zayn, had since
that night at the restaurant. And Zayn- hes been nothing but great with her.

Okay, Liam nods. Id like that.

Zayn grins and grabs Liams hand. Now can we have pre-date sex?

Liam snorts a laugh. Pre-date sex? Is that even a thing?

It is now, Zayn tells him, pulling him through the kitchen. Ive kind of been wanting this since
that morning when I left and you were still asleep.

Next time you should stay, then, Liam tells him.

Zayn gives Liam a serious look. I will, he promises, pausing right there in the living room, in
front of Louis and Harry, who are obviously watching them. You wont wake up alone next
time.

Aw, Louis coos. Liam glares at him.

Windex is under the sink, Harry says, while Zayn tugs on Liams arm again.

Liam frowns back at him, but Louis got Harrys attention again, and Liam really doesnt want to
be a witness of that. What dyou need Windex for?

Zayn laughs and pushes open the door to his bedroom. Liams heart sinks. Its bigger than his
whole freaking apartment, and like in the living room, one whole wall is windows.

Well, see, Zayn pushes the door closed, affectively trapping Liam between him and the surface.
Ive kind of got this fantasy, he says slowly, fingers playing with the hem of Liams shirt,
where I fuck you up against the window.

Liam blinks at him, and looks at the window, and fuck hes already hard. Zayn has an
embarrassing affect on him.

We could do that, Liam says after swallowing thickly.

Any other conversation is lost as Zayn kisses him again, slowly, tongues tangling, hands fisting in
clothes. By the time Zayn pulls him away from the door, backing towards the sprawling window,
Zayns got his shirt off, and Liams is being tugged over his head. Its unfortunate that they have
to break the kiss to get it off, but Zayns lips are back on his instantly, and his shirt is thrown
somewhere, abandoned.

Zayn turns them when they get to the window, making Liam face it while he stands behind him.
Liam puts his hands on the glass to steady himself, and he takes a deep breath. Its so far up, and,
thankfully, theyre facing the back of the building, so theres not really anything close to the
building. He can see the rest of the city far off, but Liam figures no one will be able to see them.

Zayns hands slide over his skin, scratching against his ribs, ghosting over his spine. Liam closes
his eyes and just lets Zayn touch and kiss him wherever he wants.

He has a thing for marks, Zayn, apparently. He sucks one into the spot where Liams neck meets
his shoulder, and then another one low on his hip, one he has to get on his knees to make. He
spins Liam around after that, still on his knees, and undoes Liams jeans with careful fingers.
Liams going to be jealous of that for a long time, he knows, the way that Zayn seems so in
control of himself while Liam is just a wreck.

The window is cold against his ass when Zayn pushes him against it, but Zayn is hot everywhere
he touches, and the mix of temperatures has Liam shivering just as much as Zayns mouth sliding
down his shaft does.

Zayns smirk is back in place by the time he pulls off Liam, who hes turned into a mess, unable to
do much more than tug on his hair and try to find purchase on the smooth, flat window. He
straightens up and kisses Liam slowly. Liam doesnt care that he can taste himself on Zayns
tongue; he kisses back roughly, nipping at Zayns bottom lip.

Ive got to get- lube, Zayn says distractedly, kissing Liam between each word. I want you
turned around with your hands against the glass when I get back, yeah?

Liam nods because, fuck, he trusts Zayn to take care of him. Knows that he will.

He feels really exposed, turning around and putting his hands against the glass. Hes completely
naked, and, yes, no one can see him, but still. Zayn can, and thats enough to make Liam shiver
while he waits.

Zayn returns moments later, and his jeans are gone now. Liam can feel all of him pressed against
his back, skin blanketing skin. Without warning, he grinds his hips backwards. Zayn chuckles and
nips at his earlobe.

If I could, Zayn tells him, hand sliding down to cup Liams ass. Id keep you like this forever.

Liam presses back against him again. Zayn didnt let him come, and hes still painfully hard.
Come on, he urges.

One day, Zayn says, opening the lid on the lube, Im going to make you beg for it.

Liams looking forward to that, but right now hes just grateful that Zayn sounds as desperate to
get on with things as Liam feels.

Zayn isnt wasting time with his fingers. Hes not teasing this time, or going slow. Hes working
his fingers in fast, stretching Liam as much as he can as quick as he can, all the while pushing
Liam harder against the glass and whispering in his ear.

He knows Lou and Harry are still in the living room, and he prays that these walls are more
soundproof than his own are, because - and Liam knows this is a Zayn thing, hes never been that
vocal before- hes not being exactly quiet, as Zayn grips his hips and pushes into him.

You okay? Zayn asks, sliding his hand over Liams stomach. His nails scratch at the sensitive
skin there and Liam just wants him to move lower but he knows that Zayn wont yet. How he
knows this, when theyve only hooked up once, he has no idea. Hes just pretty sure that Zayn
likes to torture him in the best ways possible.

Liam nods and pushes his ass out a bit more, bending just a bit so that he angle is better. His hands
are sweaty and they leave streaks on the window when they slide down a bit. He can see the
foggy spot from his breath, and Zayns, too, from when Zayn had leaned close against him.

Its erotic, really, the way Zayn pushes him forward, trapping him between the glass and his body.
His cock is pressed against the cool glass, and its different from anything hes ever had before,
but he doesnt think theres a thing Zayn could tell him to do that he wouldnt love, especially
when Zayn tugs him back minutes later, panting hard in his arm, and wraps a hand around him.
Zayns thrust become less rhythmic as he focuses on fisting Liam while fucking into him. Liam
turns his head, tries to capture Zayns lips with his own, but their slick mouths just slide off each
other and Zayn ends up mouthing at his neck again.

Fuck, Liam, Zayn groans in his ear. Dont think- Ill ever- get sick of hearing you cry out for
me.

Liam keens, not from the words but from the unexpected twist of his wrist that he does while
jerking him. He feels warm all over, regardless of the fact that hes naked and half pressed against
a window from the waist up. His cheek is pressed against the glass now, too, because he cant
hold himself up properly anymore.

Come on, Liam, Zayn urges.

Zayn, Liam lets out, because hes so close, if Zayn would just tighten his grip a bit more. And
saying his name gets him just that. Zayns fingers curl harder against him, and Zayn bites down on
his shoulder while he hits that spot inside of Liam, and thats it, thats all Liam needed, and hes
coming over Zayns hand and a bit on the window.

Zayn doesnt last long after that, but -from the sucked in breaths and the shaky exhales- Liam can
tell that Zayns trying to drag it out as long as he can, pulling out of Liam almost completely
before slamming back in. Liams fingers have slipped off the window completely, but Zayns got
his hand curled around Liams front, holding him up and against his chest.

When Zayn comes, his fingers dig into Liams skin and his breathing halts for a long moment,
until he lets it out with a shudder.

Zayn doesnt bring them to the bed, but pulls the comforter off it and pulls Liam onto the floor
beside him, where they both lay, limbs tangled together, touching in the weirdest spots, like a hand
on a bicep, and an ankle against a thigh.

When Liam no longer feels like a piece of too cooked spaghetti, he looks at the window. I see
why you need the Windex now, Liam says, and then theyre laughing, pressing their faces into
the crooks of each others necks. Until, of course, Zayn licks over a mark hes left on Liams skin,
and Liam sighs against him.

Zayn pulls back and looks up at him with wide eyes. Can I keep you? he asks, and Liam smiles
fondly at him and kisses him for it.

--

A picnic, Liam says, frowning at the basket in Zayns hand. It looks so out of place, what with
him wearing a lather jacket and combat boots. Zayn just grins and shrugs.

Picnic! Emma says loudly, running to the door. Can I come?

Course, Zayn says, bending down to be level with her. Bringing your friend, too?

Emma nods seriously. Dora comes everywhere with me.

Seriously, Liam adds. She wont leave the house without it. Im starting to wonder its
possessed.

Dora says she wants to come, Emma tells Liam with a frown. Whats posses?

Nothing, Liam says, ruffling her hair. Get your shoes on and grab Dora.

Liams already ready, and Zayn waits in the doorway while she gets her shoes and doll. Liam
takes that time to examine Zayn. Theres something completely different about him around Emma,
and its not just the lack of I want to rip your clothes off looks, either. His eyes are softer, and
hes got a smile on his face, not a smirk. Liams grateful that he gets to see both sides of him.
Finds that he likes them both a lot.

Emma returns, struggling to hold the doll. Its almost as big as she is, for Gods sake. He knew
that doll was going to be trouble when he got it, he just knew.

If you want, Zayn offers, as Liam closes and locks the door behind them. She can sit on the
basket.

Emma gives the picnic basket a wary look, and then whispers something in the dolls ear. After a
moment she nods at Zayn and he tucks the doll carefully between the top of the basket and the
handle. Its huge and awkward and he looks really ridiculous. Liam wants to kiss him for it.

The park is only about fifteen minutes from their building. When they get there, Emma grabs Dora
and tugs her off to the playground, while Zayn pulls a blanket from the basket. Liam just gapes at
him.

What? Zayn asks, shifting on his feet, like hes self-conscious.

Liam shakes his head. What else you got in there? he asks.

Zayn sits on the blanket and Liam sits beside him, both of them facing the playground, where they
can see Emma pulling Dora down the slide. Zayn chuckles and opens the basket. Sandwiches,
juice, and cookies.

Liam frowns at him. Youre playing dirty, he tells him.

Zayn looks mock offended. What could you possibly mean, Liam?

Liam rolls his eyes. Its not going to work.

Whats not going to work?

Im not kissing you until I tell her, Liam informs him, reaching into the basket to pull out a
cookie. Its perfect, obviously. Damn him. And Im not telling her just yet.

Zayn shrugs. Whenever you decide to.

You sound pretty confident that were going to get to that point, Liam says, while straightening
out a piece of the blanket.

Zayn bumps his shoulder into Liams. cause I am.

Emma runs over to them a few moments later, while Liams trying to calm down the warm feeling
inside himself. Can you push us on the swing? she asks. She doesnt ask Liam, though.

Sure, Zayn says, pushing off the ground. Liam watches them go.
Zayns careful with her, holding Dora while he pushes her just enough that she doesnt go too
high. Liam grabs another cookie and smiles at them, wondering if this is going to become a thing.
If its really going to be that easy to just slip Zayn into his life and keep him there. He prays that it
is. He doesnt want him to go now.

Six Years Later

Wait a minute, Zayn orders, putting a hand on Emmas shoulder.

Im old enough to go in by myself, Emma points out, hand on her hip. Zayn thinks she spends
too much time with Louis and Harry. The two of them are a bad influence on her.

Fine, Zayn relents.

He cant help it, shes got Liams eyes, and shes old enough now to know how to use them to her
advantage. She opens the kennel and goes inside, petting the firedog. Its not often that they visit
Liam at work, but Liams worked a long shift in the past thirty hours and Zayn knows Liams
going to want a ride home. Plus, Emma jumps on any chance to visit the dogs, which is special
treatment just for her, because Zayn knows theyre not supposed to be treated like pets, but Liams
boss allows it anyways. Emma wraps everyone around her finger.

You okay here? Zayn asks her.

Ill watch her, John says, coming out of his office. You go find your husband. Shes fine.

Thanks, John, Emma says while petting Cara.

Zayn gives her one last look, just to be sure shes fine -who knows, the dogs could be rabid, you
cant be sure- before heading farther into the building to find Liam. He finds him in the garage,
and warmth pools in his stomach. Hes half in uniform, the baggy one-piece unzipped so that it
hangs over his hips, and his white t-shirt leaves little to the imagination, except Zayns the only
one who gets to touch the abs that it outlines, get to run his tongue and nails over them. Fuck, he
looks like one of those ridiculous, sexy fireman costumes, and Zayn just wants to push him against
the truck and fuck him senseless.

Hey, Liam calls out, tossing the rag hed been using into the bucket. Youre early.

Em wanted to see the dogs, Zayn explains, putting his hands on Liams waist. Johns watching
her. Shes fine, as long as those dogs are dangerous. Theyre not, right?

Liam chuckles. I swear youre more worried most of the time than I am.

I cant help that, Zayn says, leaning into Liams arms. I read Cujo, you know.

Liam runs a hand through his hair and Zayn sighs into it, wondering when its going to stop,
wondering if it will stop, that impossible happiness every time Liam smiles at him, or touches him.

Were going to have to get her one, you know, Liam says, scratching absently at Zayns scalp.
A dog, I mean.
As long as she doesnt name it Dora, Zayn says. Hes wanted a dog for some time now, but
theyd only settled into the house a few months ago, and theyd both agreed that they wouldnt get
one while they still lived in the apartment.

Shh, Liam hisses. Dont bring that up. What if she comes in and hears you?

Liam, Zayn says though a laugh. You burnt that thing to a crisp three years ago.

Because it was possessed, Zayn. I dont want her asking questions, shell never forgive us,
Liam tells him.

Are we going, or are you two going to just kiss for the next hour? Emma asks from the
doorway.

The second one, Liam says happily, kissing Zayn right on the lips.

You guys are grosser than Uncle Lou and Uncle Harry, she says, making a face at Zayn, who
laughs at it over Liams shoulder.

On the drive home Zayn notes the way Liams eyes are heavy, and his hand is still on his
shoulder, where hed usually be rubbing circles against his skin. Emmas excited at the prospect of
going to pick out a puppy next week. They both knew it was inevitable, getting one.

By the time they get through the door -- and Emmas run off next door to hang out with the
neighbours daughter-- Liams a lot more alert. Zayn frowns at him and brushes his hand over
Liams cheek.

You looked about ready to pass out in the car, Zayn says, confused.

Liam grins. Thats because Emma wanted us to take her to Nialls today, but I had other plans.

Zayn catches the mischievous grin in Liams eyes. And what are these plans?

Well, see, Liam says, tugging him up the stairs. Ive got this really hot husband, and I want to
see how hard I have to blow him before the fire goes out.

Zayn twists the wedding band on his finger while groaning out, Youre a cheesy fuck, you know
that?

Liam raises his eyebrows at him. So you dont want the blowjob?

Zayn snorts and jogs the rest of the way to the room, tugging Liam along with him. Like hell I
dont.

The second they get to the room, Liam freezes, eyes wide. He takes a hesitant step towards the
bed and then picks up the book laying on it. Liam flicks through the thin, colourful pages, eyes
wide.

When did you do this? he demands.

Zayn shrugs. It just came in today. Its kind of a surprise.

He knows Ems a bit old for childrens books now, but hed been working on it on and off
between other projects for years now, and itd only gotten finished a month ago. It wont be a best
seller, or on a shelf in every bookstore, like his other three books, but he doesnt care. Plus, he
figures he can give the second copy of it to Louis and Harry in month for when they finally bring
 home their son (it had taken them so long to finally decide to adopt, even though theyd been
talking about it for years after watching Emma grow up).

I love you, Liam tells him, putting the book carefully on the side table. Now come here so I
can get your clothes off. I might just burn your whole wardrobe; I like you better naked.

Zayn snorts. For a firefighter, youve got an odd relationship with burning things.

Shut up, Liam says, but he doesnt need to because his lips make sure that Zayn has to.

End Notes

I'm not going to lie; this was just an excuse to write fluffy dad!Liam and a lot of top!Zayn.
I'm not sorry.

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