Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at

http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/654864.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: One Direction (Band)
Relationship: Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Character: Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Niall Horan
Stats: Published: 2013-01-25 Words: 27217

Don't Go
by scottmcniceass

Summary

Liam's out of the country most of the year because of his job, but he needs someone to
take care of his dog. Zayn thinks he's hit the jackpot when he starts renting the room in
Liam's apartment. He gets the whole place to himself most of the year, and all he has to do
is walk and feed a dog.

He never expected to fall in love with Liam, but it happens anyways.

Notes

See the end of the work for notes

Zayn stares down at the ad, thinking its too good to be true. Theres no way. He doesnt have this
kind of luck, or fortune.

Male, early twenties, seeking roommate and part-time animal caretaker. Is out of town 6 months
out of the year, but covers half the rent all year round. Spacious, two bedroom apartment with a
washer and dryer, utilities included. If interested, please call the number listed below and ask for
Harry Styles.

Its perfect for you, Louis says, sinking down onto the couch beside Zayn. Perfect.

Zayn looks up at him, shaking his head. Theres got to be a catch. Maybe hes a serial killer.

Louis roles his eyes. Come on, Zayn. The apartments all yours for six months, and you only
have to walk his dog. Plus, Niall knows the guy well, apparently. Harry, or whoever he is.

Zayn rereads the ad for a third time. Whats he do, though? I mean, whys he gone all the time?
Military man, apparently, Louis supplies. Hes always deployed somewhere out of the
country.

Zayn bites his lip, still hesitant. Hes desperate, though; theres no way he can continue living in
the University dorms. He needs more space - his own space- and this apartment sounds like the
best hes going to get.

Should I go for it? Zayn asks Louis.

Louis nods. Plus, he says, snatching the paper from Zayns hands. You love dogs.

--

Zayn calls him. Harrys got a slow, relaxing voice, and Zayn likes him instantly. You can come
look at it, if you want, Harry says after asking a few questions. Nialls already given you the go-
ahead, and I trust his judgement.

Sure, Zayn says quickly.

Great! Harry says enthusiastically. Liam wont be back for another month and a half, but-,

Zayn cuts him off, frowning at the wall above his bed. Liam?

Yeah, the guy - oh, wait, you thought- its not me. I mean, its not my apartment. I live next door.
Youll be sharing an apartment with Liam.

But I thought-,

Im just dealing with his stuff for him while hes gone, Harry explains. Hes pretty busy most
of the time. Works his ass off. If you ask me, the only reason he even got the dog was so hed
have something to come home to, you know? Not - not that I said that, if he ever asks. In fact, lets
just pretend all together that those words never came out of my mouth.

Zayn continues to stare at the ceiling of his tiny dorm room. Theres a footprint up there. An
honest to god footprint. How the fuck?

Whats he like? Zayn asks finally. Liam, or whatever.

Hes great! Harry said quickly. Really great. I promise. Hes not, like, psycho or anything. A
bit of a workaholic, maybe, but thats about as far as Liams issues go. Ive known him for years.
Hed be a great flatmate.

Zayn snorts. How much he paying you to say that?

Hes not, Harry replies, and he sounds genuinely sincere. Im just helping him out.

Okay, Zayn says. Ill come see it tonight, then?

Yeah! Harry is all enthusiasm and, for the first time, Zayn is actually grateful that its not Harry
hes possibly about to move in with. He wasnt sure if he could handle someone that upbeat all the
time. Hell, hes best friends with Louis. He gets on better with people who are as cynical as he is.
Just come around whenever and knock on door 11, thats mine, and Ill let you in. He rattles off
the building address and Zayn sits up, shuffling around the bedside table for a pen so he can
quickly write it down. See you, Zayn.

Yeah, see you, Zayn says distractedly.

As soon as hes hung up with Harry and he has the address written down, he calls Louis. That
nice, huh? Louis asks, and Zayn can hear the scepticism in his voice.

A bit overwhelming, to be honest, Zayn admits. But its a good deal, right? I mean, I cant pass
this up.

You cant, Louis agrees. Ill drive you over?

Sure. Ill see you in an hour? And maybe Harryll rub off on you and youll stop being such a
prick all the time.

He can almost hear Louis rolling his eyes. You love me, he says.

I do, Zayn admits. Dont know how that happened.

Zayn pockets his phone and changes his shirt, just in case. He doesnt think Harry will say no to
him, but still. He wants this place.

He ends up waiting for fifteen minutes outside. Louis is always late, though, so Zayns not really
all that surprised. He pulls up with his music cranked, window open, and hes belting along to the
music when Zayn slides into the passenger seat. He doesnt turn it down, either, but again, Zayns
not surprised, and he just sings along with him until the song ends.

This is it? Louis asks, leaning forward in his seat to get a better look at the building.

Zayn does the same, staring up at the expanse of brick and windows. Its nice, a hell of a lot nicer
than the two places hed looked at in the past month. Theres no graffiti on the walls, or homeless
people living in the alley next door.

Its nice, Louis supplies, turning off the car. Ready?

Zayn nods and pulls down the visor to use the mirror underneath it. He fixes his hair a bit and then
shuts it. Lets go.

The place is even nicer on the inside. The elevator actually works, which is more than he could
say for the other buildings hed checked out. The apartment is on the third floor, and apartment
eleven is halfway down the hall.

Go on, Louis says, jerking his head in the direction of the door.

Zayn hesitates. He cant help it. All the other places hes checked out have been shit, and why
wont this one be any different? It sounded perfect, and he doesnt want to ruin the fantasy by
coming face to face with the reality.

Oh, for Gods sake, Louis says, reaching forward to knock loudly on the door.

Just a second! Harry calls loudly. Im just - oh, shit, fuck, who put that there? Louis raises his
eyebrows and takes a step back from the door just as Harry pulls it open. Sorry, he says
sheepishly.

Zayns a bit surprised. He expected someone a bit more like Niall; shorter, with blonde hair and a
carefree smile. Instead, Harry is tall, with curly brown hair and wide eyes. He looks between
Louis and Zayn and then extends his hand to Louis.

Its yours, he says quickly, eyes raking down Louis body. The apartment. You want it, its
definitely, definitely yours.
Louis gapes at him. Is that your game? Offering apartments to the guys you want to sleep with?

Harry shrugs, a wide grin on his face. Is it working?

No, Louis says, crossing his arms over his chest. The apartments for Zayn.

Harry frowns at then cuts his eyes to Zayn. Oh, he says. Sorry. I get distracted by beautiful
people.

No problem, Zayn says, before Louis can slap the kid. Hes definitely considering it, Zayn can
tell. So, next door?

Right, Harry nods and shuts the door to his apartment. He pulls out a set of keys and leads them
to the apartment to the left. Just a warning, okay? Jessies going to bark at you. Shes a bit
intimidating, but I promise shes a sweetheart. She just does that when she meets new people, you
know?

Zayn nods, but Louis looks hesitant. Harry opens the apartment door and is jumped by a giant.
Louis shrieks - literally shrieks- and takes a step backwards.

What the fuck is that? Louis demands.

Jessie, Harry says, bending down to pet the dog. If thats what it really is, because Zayns pretty
sure thats a polar bear.

You said dog, Louis tells him, eyes wide. That is not a dog. Thats a-,

Shes sweet, I promise, Harry says, looking up at Louis. Come on, pet her. She doesnt bite.

Louis shakes his head wildly, but Harry cocks an eyebrow at him, a challenge in his eyes. Zayn
has to hand it to him, hes only known Louis for about a minute and he already figured out how to
play him. Louis never backs down from a challenge.

He steps forward, arm extended far from his body, and gently rubs the top of the dogs head. She
looks up at him with huge brown eyes and mouth open, but she just sits there as Louis gently pats
her head. I still dont believe thats a dog, Louis adds.

Shes a Great Pyrenees, Harry explains. Big breed. Arent you, Jess? Harry asks her. Arent
you a big girl?

Jessie barks once and Harry stands up. Right, you guys can come in, he says, and snaps his
fingers. Jessie runs off somewhere in the apartment.

Zayn follows Louis inside, and he wants to cry. Its perfect. Theres no hallway separating the
door from the living room, and the living room is huge. Theres a comfortable looking black
couch, and a wide screen T.V. Harry leads them farther into the place, showing them the kitchen.
Its big, too, with nice appliances and a good amount of cupboards. Next he shows Zayn the
bathroom, which, again, is too nice to be true. And finally, the bedroom.

Its bigger than his whole dorm room. Theres a queen sized bed, and a dresser and a side table.
Its empty besides that, no curtain covering the giant window. Hes in love.

And I can have it? Zayn asks, eyes wide.

Harry shrugs. Sure, he says. I mean, youre the least creepy person whos called, so you
want it, its yours.
When? Zayn asks, as Harry shuts the bedroom door and leads them back through the apartment.
Jessie is on his heels the whole time, brushing against him like an oversized cat. The only issue
Zayn can see, at that moment, is that she leaves hair behind on his pants, and Zayn happens to
wear a lot of black. He doesnt really mind, though.

You get me the five hundred for this months rent, and you can move in tomorrow, Harry tells
him.

Great! Louis says loudly, clapping his hands together. Hell call you tomorrow.

You could call me tomorrow, too, Harry says as he locks the apartment door behind them.

Louis snorts but doesnt reply to that.

Thanks, Zayn tells him as Harry heads back to his apartment, and he and Louis head for the
elevator. Its a great place.

Harry nods. Just - one more thing, yeah? Dont go in his room. Like, ever. Seriously, hell be
able to tell, and hell be pissed. Oh, and Ill give you the instructions for Jessie tomorrow. Not that
shes really high maintenance.

Sounds good, Zayn agrees.

Later, Harry says over his shoulder.

The second the get out front, Louis stops and turns to face him. He lifts both of his hands, one
level with his waist, one held high. Pros and cons, he explains. Perfect apartment. He lifts the
higher hand a bit. Annoying neighbours. He lifts the lower hand until its above his head.
Ones winning out over the other here, Zayn.

Zayn laughs and keeps walking towards Louis car. Hes not that bad, Zayn says. I liked him.

He didnt hit on you, Louis points out.

You liked him, Zayn counters.

Louis cheeks turn red but his eyes are narrowed. I really, really didnt.

Mhm.

Whatever, Louis says as he gets into the car. So youre taking it, then?

Zayn shrugs and pulls on his seatbelt. Its kind of perfect, isnt it?

Louis sighs. Yeah. It is. Remember that last place we looked at? Im pretty sure there was blood
splatter on the wall.

--

Zayn has work after class the next day, but hed called in early and warned his boss that he was
going to need someone to cover the second half of his shift. His boss doesnt mind. Hes a good
guy, and hes pretty lenient about most things, because he knows that most of his employees are
University students, and sometimes shit happens.

He doesnt make a lot at the coffee shop, though. Minimum wage plus tips, and he doesnt get
nearly as many shifts as hed like, but hes got all he can handle. He makes more than enough to
cover the apartment, though, and to feed himself. In fact, hed budgeted rent to be over six
hundred, so maybe hed be able to get cable hooked up on top of internet.

Louis picks him up from work and drives him back over to the building. He doesnt come in, but
thats less because of Harry and more because Zayn told him there was no point. He was just
going to pay Harry, grab the keys, and then they were going to head back to his dorm and pick up
his stuff. Hed roped Louis into helping him move by offering to order dinner for them.

Hey, Niall, Zayn says, frowning as he bumps into the other boy on the way into the elevator.

Zayn! Niall says loudly, and then he engulfs Zayn in a tight hug. Hows it going?

Good, Zayn says, stepping back to let Niall through. You visiting Harry?

He nods. Good guy, he says. Got a thing for Lou, though, eh?

Oh, really? Zayn asks. I didnt notice.

Hell be over it in a week, Niall tells him. Hes like that. Falls in and out of love in seconds.
Anyways, Ive got to run. See you later.

Zayn nods goodbye to him and gets in the elevator. The apartments on the third floor, but hes
man enough to admit that hes too lazy to take the stairs. When he gets to the third floor, he can
hear someones fire alarm going off. As he gets closer to Harrys door he realizes its Harrys
alarm.

Fuck off! he hears Harry shout through the door. Come on, honestly? Im not burning
anything! I took a fucking shower. Cant you tell the difference between steam and smoke? Damn
it!

Zayn knocks hesitantly at the door.

Oh, shit, Harry murmurs, and then he hears the scrapping of a chair across linoleum, and theres
a loud crash as something falls to the ground, and then Harrys opening the door, hair dripping
with water, in nothing but a pair of boxers. Hi.

Hi, Zayn says, and he figures his eyes are a bit wide.

Um, come in for a sec, Harry tells him, pushing the door open wider. Ive got to find the keys.

Zayn slowly steps into Harrys apartment and shuts the door behind himself. Harrys apartment is
the exact same as the one next door, but everything is flipped so that the living room is on the left,
and the hallway to the kitchen is on the right. Its a lot more cluttered, too. Liams apartment had
been nearly bare, now that he thinks about it. Harrys is filled with personal items. Theres a shirt
thrown over the back of the couch, a single shoe in front of the door, pictures hanging on the
walls, cups littering the coffee table.

Sorry about that, Harry calls over his shoulder from somewhere in the apartment. Niall left and
I thought Id jump in the shower, but then I remembered you were coming, so I rushed, and I
didnt open a window and my alarm sucks.

No problem, Zayn says, because its really not. Zayns a relaxed person, but hes used to Louis
by now, and Harrys pretty tame compared to him.

Harry comes out of one of the bedrooms with a shirt on backwards, a pair of green sweat pants,
and a set of keys dangling from his fingers. He grins at Zayn and hands them to him, and Zayn
hands him the money.

Oh, wait, Harry says suddenly, ducking into the kitchen. He comes out with a piece of paper,
which he also hands to Zayn. You need to sign this. I forgot.

Zayn takes the paper and Harry goes on a hunt through the apartment for a pen, which he finds
stuck in the pot of a plant thats situated beside the television. He wipes the dirt off on his pants
and hands it to Zayn.

My place isnt always this messy, he says as he points to where Zayn needs to sign. Im
actually a neat freak, but Niall stays in the guest bedroom sometimes, and hes kind of a slob.

You should see Louis apartment, Zayn says as he scribbles out his signature for the third time.
I cant even remember what colour his carpet is.

Harry laughs and takes the paper from Zayn. Okay, so one more thing. Or two, actually. Jessie
doesnt need to be walked that often. For a big dog, shes actually really, really lazy. Shes not
picky about what food she eats, either, so just get her whatevers cheapest. And if you bring over
strangers, shell probably bark at them at first. Zayn nods, taking this in. He had a dog his whole
childhood. He could handle it. And Liams going to be back in a bit over a month.

Cool, Zayn says, already looking forward to having his own apartment for a whole month.

Okay, so, um, right, Harry shrugs. You can move your stuff in. And dont hesitate to stop by if
you need anything. A friend of Nialls is a friend of mine, or whatever.

As soon as he gets back in the car, Louis turns to him and asks, Did he ask about me?

Zayn raises his eyebrows. Yeah, he wanted to know if you were a boxers or briefs guy.

Louis slaps his arm. Not funny.

I thought you didnt like him.

I dont, Louis denies.

--

It takes them one trip to get all his stuff. Hes got a box of books, two bags of clothes, his blankets
and pillows, and then another box of just random things, like posters and Cds. His dorm room was
too small for him to have much more than that.

We need to get you some stuff, Louis says as he drops a box onto the floor in the living room.
This place is practically empty.

Zayn nods and looks around with a bit more scrutiny than he had the first time hed been in it.
Jessie is laying on the couch, watching them with her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Its
weird, isnt it? Zayn asks. I mean, it looks like no one lives here.

Louis shrugs, but hes grinning. So lets change that. Its your place now, too, right?

Yeah, Zayn agrees, already itching to put up a poster or something, just to make it look less like
a hotel room.
a hotel room.

Should we peek into his room? Louis asks in a hushed whisper. Just to see if hes got, like,
dead bodies in there or something?

Zayn shakes his head. Harry said not to touch the room.

Harry wont know.

No way, Zayn says. He respects other peoples privacy, and if Liam didnt want anyone going
in his room, Zayn wasnt going to.

Fine, Louis sighs. He moves around the apartment. But lets at least figure out what his last
name is so we can look him up.

Before Zayn can protest, Louis is flitting around the apartment, pulling open drawers. He comes
back from the kitchen empty handed, but says, Liam Payne. His names on a bill in the drawer
beside the fridge. Hes already pulling out his phone and pressing buttons, and a moment later he
tosses the phone to Zayn.

Theres a Facebook page on the screen and, while he feels a bit creepy, he look through it. It only
takes him about fifteen seconds to hand the phone back to Louis. This kids, like, fourteen.

No, Louis protests. Look at his info. He was born in 1993, he just hasnt got an up to date
picture.

Im not stalking him, Zayn says.

Louis rolls his eyes. Fine, fine. Youre no fun.

You want fun? Zayn asks, ripping open one of his boxes. Try next door. Harry answered
without a shirt on earlier.

Louis glares at him but helps him unpack. Theyre halfway through when Jessie comes and stands
in the doorway to his room and whines. Louis looks up at her. Is she going to attack?

Zayn chuckles. I think she just has to go to the bathroom.

Oh, Louis nods. Right. You take care of that, Im going to see if I can find a hammer.

Okay, Zayn agrees. Before he heads out, though, he calls over his shoulder, Dont open that
fucking door, Louis!

Prick! Louis shouts back at him.

Jessies extremely easy to walk for a dog her size. Zayns a bit surprised. He figured shed be
dragging him down the street, but instead she walks at a slow, relaxed gape, pausing every once in
a while to sniff at a bush, or a fence, until she finally does her business.

Zayn likes her already, and finds himself missing his old dog. Max died when he was sixteen, and
hed been heartbroken over it.

When he gets back inside, Harry peaks his head out the door. Whatre you two doing for
dinner? he asks.

Um, Zayn tightens his grip on Jessies leash, because shes trying to break into Harrys
apartment. We were just going to order something.
Let me get it, Harry says quickly. As a welcome to the building present. What do you guys
like? Chinese? Pizza? Italian?

Zayns not sure how Louis going to react to this, but he says, Pizza, anyways. Hes not about
to say no to free food, even if Louis would.

Perfect, Harry says. Come by in, like, forty minutes.

Inside his own apartment, Louis hung one of his sheets up over his bedroom window. Itll have
to do until we buy you a curtain tomorrow, he explains. What took you so long?

Zayn grabs a few pieces of folded clothes and shoves them in his dresser. Harry invited us over
for dinner.

Louis freezes. You said no.

I said yes.

Damn you, Louis hisses.

When they get over to Harrys, Niall is there, too. Hes sprawled out on Harrys couch, beer bottle
dangling between his fingers. Hey, he greets without looking away from the television.

Pizza should be here any minute now, Harry calls from the kitchen. What do you want to
drink? Ive got Coke, beer, and some cheap wine.

Wine, Louis says as he sits down beside Niall. Louis always easily fit into other peoples lives,
barges in and makes a place for himself without shame. Zayn, on the other hand, is always more
hesitant. Thats probably why Louis has about a hundred friends, while Zayn has two, both of
which are sitting on Harrys couch.

Zayn? Harry asks.

Anythings fine, Zayn says, sinking down onto the single chair.

Harry comes out of the kitchen a moment later, three large glasses of wine in his huge hands.
Zayn takes one and sips it. Hes not a big fan of wine - not like Louis, who drinks the stuff like its
juice- but he doesnt mind.

Feet off the table, Harry says, kicking at Nialls ankle.

The pizza arrives soon afterwards, and by the time theyve all finished eating, Zayns got a nice
buzz going and Louis has his feet in Harrys lap. Nialls yelling at the T.V., some sport game that
Zayn isnt following playing out on the screen.

Im glad youre going to be my neighbour, Harry tells him, his voice even more of a drawl than
usual. I like you. Liamll like you, too.

Niall snorts. Obviously. Liam likes everyone.

Its true, Harry agrees, nodding solemnly. Great guy, Liam.

Great guy, Niall repeats.

Whats he like? Louis asks. We tried looking him up on Facebook but we couldnt really find
anything.
How old is he in that picture? Niall asks Harry.

Fifteen, Harry answers. Took it myself.

So what does he do? Zayn asks, leaning forward in his seat. I mean, hes gone almost all year
round, right?

He enlisted in the army when he was eighteen, Harry says quietly. He leaves for six months of
the year, and then comes home for six months. He wont be there full time even when hes home,
though, because theres a lot of training and stuff at the base.

Wheres he deployed? Louis asks.

Iraq, Niall supplies. Told him not to go for it, but Liams pretty determined. Its what his dad
wanted, you know? So he did it.

Huh, Zayn says softly. He doesnt understand how a person could do that. He couldnt leave his
home, his family or friends, for six months out of the year. Especially not when you know you
might not make it back.

Yeah. Harry agrees. Anyways! Karaoke?

Niall groans but Louis sits up quickly. Get me another glass of wine, Curly, and youll see what
Karaoke really looks like.

--

Its so easy to settle into life in his apartment. He gets up early to walk Jessie. He has a quick
shower before heading to class, and then he comes home afterwards and walks Jessie again before
getting ready for work, if he has it that day. If he doesnt, he walks Jessie, relaxes for a bit, and
then ends up either at Harrys with Niall or the two of them and Louis come over to hang out for a
bit.

The apartment looks more like a home already. For one, theres actual food in the cupboards, not
just expired cans of beans. Zayn makes a habit of leaving tiny messes wherever he goes, just to
prove that someone does live there. Like the cup on the coffee table, or the comb on the sink in the
bathroom, or the plate on the counter. Little things that would be easy to clean up, he just doesnt
bother.

And he forgets about Liam coming home. Harry never said an exact date, and when Zayn had
asked, he said there wasnt one. Just a vague time frame of which Liam could arrive home. So on
Thursday after class and a particularly bad walk with Jessie -- she pulled him into a giant puddle
and then shook herself off afterwards, affectively soaking him from head to toe-- he jumps in the
shower without bringing extra clothes to change into. Hell just walk from the bathroom to his
bedroom in his towel.

Its almost like Liam doesnt exist, in his mind. Hes just a person mentioned in passing, a friend
of a friend who hes never met, and probably never will. Someone whos name you might
remember, but who you never give more than a few seconds worth of thought.

When he steps out of the bathroom, steam billowing out around him, and sees someone knelt
down on the floor near the hallway, petting Jessie, he doesnt put the pieces together. He just
doesnt get it. At least, not until the guy stands up, his eyes slowly slipping down Zayns body
while a blush rises to his cheeks, and says, Hi. Im Liam.

And Zayn is so, so fucked. Hi, he squeaks out, too aware of the fact that hes practically fucking
naked, with only a towel tied around his waist. His hair is wet and waters dripping down his
shoulders, too, and this is not how they were supposed to meet.

Youre Zayn, right? he asks, and Zayn notes the way that, after that first time, his eyes do not
waver from Zayns, like hes making a point of meeting his eyes instead of looking elsewhere.

Yeah, Zayn says slowly. I was just--,

Jessie takes that moment to stand between the two of them, her tail wagging like crazy. She looks
between Zayn and Liam and then sits down and barks once.

Oh, Liam blinks at her. She probably just needs to go out.

I just took her, Zayn says, frowning at Jessie, for a minute forgetting the fact that he feels
incredibly awkward. Pulled me into a puddle, didnt you?

Jessie looks pleased with herself, and continues to wag her tail.

Im so sorry, Liam says quickly, eyes wide. She gets like that when it rains. Its her worst
habit. I take her to the beach during the summer, and she loves the water.

Zayn nods and then looks down at himself. I should, um, go change.

Right! Liam says loudly. You should-- definitely-- right. Im going-- I need to talk to Harry,
anyways. Hes already turning around. Ill see you after, he call over his shoulder.

Zayn hears the front door close and he looks down to Jessie, whos still sitting there, happy as can
be. You should have told me he was fucking gorgeous, Zayn says to her. Someone should
have told me.

Because he is. Zayn hadnt given Liam much thought, but on the off chance that he did, he
pictured Liam as some vague, faceless older man. Not someone his own age, with a buzz cut and
brown eyes that crinkled in the corners when he grinned. Not someone with wide shoulders and
thick fingers and a bright smile. Not someone whose clothes Zayn wanted to rip off, just to see
what was underneath.

Fuck. He knew this place was too good to be true. He knew it. Of course hed have a distractingly
attractive roommate. Thats just how his life worked, damn it.

He grabs an outfit out of his drawers, just pulling out the first things his fingers touch. Hes not
going to try and dress up or impress Liam. Its best to just forget about how attractive he is,
because Zayn loves this place. He loves this apartment, and Jessie, and even having Harry next
door. Hes not going to screw it up by, like, hooking up with Liam and then getting kicked out.
Hes not.

Liams back. Hes attractive as fuck. I hate my life. Zayn sends to Louis before he heads out of the
room. Liams still not back yet, but Zayn realizes that his bedroom door is open.

Despite Louis whining, hes never even touched the door handle. He might not think about Liam
much, but he thinks about that room a lot. Hes pictured a lot of things. Animal heads hanging on
the wall. Maybe a few My Little Pony figurines. Or maybe every inch of the walls were covered
with Justin Biebers face.
He doesnt mean to push the door open a bit more, but its just right there, and hes curious. And
again, Liam has surprised him.

Its empty, the whole room, really. It looked exactly the way Zayns had before hed put his stuff
in it. A plain white comforter and white pillows on the bed, nothing covering the side tables, no
pictures on the walls. The only thing that was different from Liams room now, and Zayns room
when hed first moved in, was that there was a curtain covering the window.

What are you doing?

Zayn spins around, eyes wide. Sorry, he says quickly, heat rising to his cheeks. I was just--,

Dont worry about it, Liam says easily, reaching around Zayn to pull the door closed. Its just -
can you-, he reaches up and scratches the back of his neck, and Zayn notices how close theyre
standing. Dont tell Harry, okay? He kind of worries about me, for no reason, and Im sure hed
find something psychologically wrong with me because my rooms empty.

I was expecting dead bodies, Zayn blurts.

Liam frowns at him and then unexpectedly lets out a loud laugh, the kind that comes from the
stomach, real and not held back. But then the laughter dies and he takes a step back from Zayn.
Uh, no, I see enough of those at work, he says.

Zayns eyes widen impossibly more, and he says, Shit, Liam, I didnt-,

Oh, god, Liam says, shaking his head. That was mean, Im sorry. I was joking. That was a
joke. Im really bad with people. Crap.

Zayn stares at him, mouth open, and then slaps Liam on the arm the way he would Louis. That
wasnt funny! I felt like an asshole.

Liam looks sheepish, and he winces at the look on Zayns face. We keep meeting in really bad
ways, dont we?

At least I have pants on this time, Zayn supplies.

Liams cheeks turn red and Zayn finds himself smiling at that. Not that he should be pleased about
being able to make his roommate blush. Fuck, he was just digging a hole for himself, wasnt he?

I kind of liked you in just the towel, Liam says anyways.

Now Zayns cheeks heat up, but he says, I cant tell if youre joking or not.

Liam frowns at him for a moment while shoving his hands into the pockets of his uniform.
Neither can I, he says quietly. Um, anyways, Harry wants us all to have dinner. He told me to
tell you to invite your friend, um, Louis, I think?

Zayn tries to ignore Liams previous words and focuses on the question. Ill call him right now,
he says, already taking a step towards his room. He looks over his shoulder on the way inside and
finds Liam staring at his ass. Liam realizes this, too, and he raises his eyes to meet Zayns and then
blushes so hard Zayn cant help but wonder if the pink in his cheeks will ever fully go away.

I-- I wasnt--,

Tell Harry we want Chinese this time, yeah? Zayn throws over his shoulder. He doesnt want
Liam to feel any more embarrassed than he already looks. Unless youd rather have pizza.
No, Chinese sounds great, Liam says tightly. Ill go tell him.

Zayn watches him go, wondering how someone can be so fucking attractive and so completely
awkward, at the same time. He couldnt tell what he wanted to do more: hug Liam, or fuck him.

He calls Louis as soon as hes in his room, but before Louis can answer he puts on his radio so
that Liam wont be able to hear their conversation. Louis picks up in the third ring with a
distracted, What do you want?

Harry wants you to come for dinner, Zayn explains, realizing that Louis hadnt read the text
hed sent.

You can tell Harry, Louis says, and Zayn can tell that hes in one of his moods. Hes just
thankful that its not directed at him, that he can grow a pair and ask me on a real fucking date,
instead of inviting us all over for pizza so he can fail to flirt with me all night.

Liams back, Zayn says, ignoring him.

Like, seriously, if hes so into me, why cant he just--, Louis cut himself off. What did you
say?

Liam, Zayn repeats. Hes back.

And? Louis asks. Zayn can hear the impatient note in his voice. Louis hates being the last one to
know things.

Hes brilliantly attractive, Zayn admits. Fuck-- Louis, I cant live with him. Hes going to drive
me insane.

Is he annoying?

No.

Then whats the issue? Hes attractive, youre attractive, Im attractive. Maybe we should have a
threesome. That would show Harry, the curly haired little--,

Louis, Zayn hisses. I dont think you get it. Im extremely fucking attracted to this guy, and I
have to live with him.

Just keep it in your pants, Louis advises. Seriously, Zayn, you dont want to ruin this. You
love it there.

I know, Zayn says, because he does.

So thats it, then. Do. Not. Fuck him. You hear me Zayn Malik? Show some restraint.

Hes probably straight anyways, Zayn sighs.

His sexuality is so not important because youre not going there. Right?

Right, Zayn says weakly.

He knows Louis right. Theres just not enough options in the city for him to do anything to risk
his apartment, and if -- on the off chance that Liam really had been looking at his ass-- something
happened there, chances are Liam would want him gone afterwards. Zayn wasnt good at
relationships, never had been, and he would find a way to screw it up. So it was best to just keep
Liam at a distance and not think about fucking him. Because he wasnt allowed to do that. No
matter how good he looked in his uniform. Damn it.

Anyways, Ill be there in half an hour, Louis says breezily, as if that whole conversation hadnt
just happened.

See you in a bit, Zayn says.

He ends the call and throws his phone onto his bed beside him, deciding to just leave it there.
Nialls probably at Harrys, and Louis is on his way over, so its not like anyone will bother
calling him.

He goes out into the living room to find Liam kneeling on the ground, trying to reach under the
couch. Hes changed out of his uniform and is wearing just a pair of jeans. No shirt.

The first thing Zayn notices is just how muscular his back is. Its wide and tanned and Zayn kind
of really wants to dig his nails into it. The closer he get, though, the more the scars come into
view. Theres so many of them, coating the tanned skin so it looks paler than the rest of him even
though its not.

He doesnt mean to. Its an accident, it really is. He extends his hand and his fingers slide slowly
up Liams back, tracing one of the larger scars. Most of them are thin and short, but there are a
few bigger ones, ones that must have been the result of large, deep cuts. Zayn shudders just
looking at them.

The thing is, Liam doesnt pull away. In fact, Zayn watches as Liam ducks his head and he stays
extremely still, the only indication that hes still a living, breathing person is the subtle shifting of
his shoulders when he breaths in.

Slowly, Zayn moves his fingers to trace another scar, and then another, and then, because he cant
freaking help it, he slides a finger up Liams spine, and Liam shudders.

What happened? Zayn asks, pulling his hand back, like Liams skin burned him.

Liam turns and falls onto his ass and stares up at Zayn with wide eyes. Not what you think, he
says quietly. Frag grenade, during training. One of our troops accidentally pulled it. He was
standing about ten feet behind me. This is just from the shrapnel. The actual explosion killed him.

Shit, Zayn breathes, because, until that point, he hadnt really thought much about what Liam
did. Sure, he thought about the uniform, because he kind of wanted to fuck Liam in it, but he
hadnt really thought about just how dangerous it was, Liams job.

Yeah, Liam nods. It happens, apparently.

He has no idea what Liam was originally looking for, but he knows that the search is abandoned.
Liams just sitting there, on the floor behind the couch, staring down at his hands. And Zayn finds
himself sinking to the floor in front of him. He crosses his legs and just takes Liam in, categorizing
little details while Liam isnt aware that hes doing it.

His arms are thick, and his ab muscles are defined. Theres another scar on his chest, this one long
and thicker than the ones on his back. He wants to trace it, too, wants to feel the difference
between the texture of it and the rest of Liams skin, but he cant.

He takes in the planes of Liams face, somehow soft and hard, at the same time. Round cheeks,
sharp jaw. Wide eyes, thick eyebrows. Pink lips, faint stubble on his chin. Hes like a giant,
walking contradiction. Looking at Liams size, youd think hed be strong and intimidating, but he
has a feeling that Liam would be all gentle, hesitant touches.

Why do you do it? Zayn finds himself asking. He winces at himself the second the words are
out. Sorry. Its none of my business.

Liam looks up at him, and his lips are turned up in a small smile. Its fine, he says, and then
sighs. I guess its because it was the only option for me, really. I wasnt exactly a genius in
school, and it was my fathers goal for me my whole life. By the time I was thirteen it was pretty
much decided that Id finish school and then join up. And I did. He cocks his head to the side.
What about you? Harry never mentioned what you did.

Zayn shrugs. Im studying to be a teacher. I took up a tutoring job a few years ago because my
parents were struggling with money, and I guess I just really liked it.

Wish I had you around when I was in school, then, Liam says, chuckling. Then again, I doubt
Id actually learn anything.

Zayn pretends to be offended. Are you questioning my tutoring abilities?

No, Liam tells him. I just doubt Id be able to pay attention to Shakespeare with someone that
attractive sitting beside me.

Zayns eyes widen a fraction but, other than that, he cant think of a single way to react to those
words. Liams grin slowly slides off his face, and then he coughs awkwardly and reaches up a
hand to rub over his short hair.

On a scale of one to ten, how inappropriate would it be for me to kiss you right now? Liam
asks.

Zayn licks his lips because fuck. Seven, he answers.

Liam nods, considering this, and then he leans forward to kiss Zayn anyways. Its slow and soft
and Liams hand is on his cheek, his thumb rubbing circles against Zayns jaw. Zayn doesnt even
move, for a bit, he just sits there, too stunned to react. When the initial shock wears off, though, he
pushes back against Liam, turning the kiss into something a lot less gentle and a lot more heated.

He puts a hand on Liams shoulder and guides him backwards, until hes laying flat against the
carpeted ground, and he straddles him. Liam doesnt push him off, or tell him to stop, but instead
groans into his mouth and puts his hands on Zayns hips, holding him in place.

Liams tongue pushes against Zayns lips and he parts them, his own tongue reaching out to brush
into Liams mouth, tasting him, feeling him. He tastes sweet, sweeter than Zayn would have
expected, like hed been sucking on a candy, and Zayn wants more. Liam does, too, apparently,
because he lifts his hips just right, and their groins press together and it becomes obvious that
theyre both freaking hard already.

Thats what makes Zayn pull back. He doesnt get off Liam, he cant, but he pulls back. We
shouldnt, Zayn says, and his voice is a lot more breathless than hed like. We-- were
roommates, and this is only going to make things complicated.

It doesnt have to, Liam tells him, and his thumb is still rubbing circles on Zayns skin, only
now its the sensitive skin of his hip, just under his t-shirt.

We live together, Zayn points out.

Im not looking for a boyfriend, Liam counters.

We just met.

People have casual sex all the time.

Not people who live together, Zayn argues.

Liam raises his eyebrows.

The way I see it, he says, and Zayns starting to get that Liam has two sides to him: extremely
bashful, and extremely forward. And he finds that he kind of likes them both a hell of a lot. I
want you, and I think you want me. His eyes drop to Zayns crotch, where he knows its obvious
that hes still fairly hard. Neither of us are looking for anything more than--, he waves his hand,
--right? Zayn nods. So I dont see the issue.

Zayn stares down at him, Louis reminder to keep it in his pants playing over and over in his head.
But Liams hard and solid beneath him, and his eyes are wide and dark, and hes looking at Zayn
expectantly and fuck it. Just fuck it.

His nails dig into Liams skin, sliding down his chest and over his abs, which are gloriously
smooth and rock hard. He leans down and kisses Liam again, their slick lips sliding together.
Liams lips part underneath his and he tangles his hands in Zayns hair as their tongues move
together again, until his hands drop to Zayns sides, and he insistently pushes at Zayns shirt.

Zayn wants it off, too. Its too hot, suddenly, and theres not enough skin on skin. He breaks the
kiss only long enough to pull his shirt over his head, not caring if it messes up his hair because
Liams already done a fairly good job of that with his hands. And then he falls back against
Liams chest again, and now that he knows what Liams skins feels like against his, theres no
turning back.

Liam grips his ass and grinds their bodies together as Zayn moves his lips to Liams neck. Theres
a birthmark there, one he hadnt noticed before, just beside his Adams apple. He sucks on it, and
Liam fingers dig hard into his ass.

Right here on the carpet? Zayn asks against Liams skin.

He pulls back to find Liam grinning at him. Whats the point of having your own apartment if
you cant have sex wherever you want in it?

Zayn blinks at him for a moment and then his hands fumble on Liams jeans, struggling to get the
stupid button open. He manages, and Liam laughs at his hurried movements, but hes quick to lift
his hips when Zayn gets the zipper down and tugs on the material. Liam is, apparently, a briefs
guy.

Liams reaching for the buttons on Zayns jeans when someone knocks at their door. They both
freeze, and Liam leans up on one hand to look at the door over Zayns shoulder. Ignore it, he
says after a moment, reaching for Zayns jeans again.

Hes not going to protest, not when Liams got his hands so close to Zayns dick. Hes still
fumbling with the button, though, and his eyebrows are drawn together in frustration. Zayn
knocks his hands out of the way and undoes it himself, and lifts off Liam just long enough to slip
the jeans off.

He kisses Liams neck again, but Liam puts a hand on his shoulder, gently nudging him
downward. Zayn complies, if only because he really, really wants to lick Liams abs. He does just
that, dipping his tongue into the creases between the muscles, and then he hooks his fingers under
the waistband of Liams briefs. Liams watching his every movement with heavily lidded eyes and
his lip caught between his teeth.

Theres another knock at the door, this one louder, but they both ignore it. Zayns too busy pulling
Liams briefs off, and then hes faced with Liams cock, hard and laying flat against his stomach.

Zayn usually hates having sex with the lights on, because it feels too intimate, watching someone
while you both get off. But hes glad theyre on with Liam, because Liams eyes widen when
Zayn wraps a hand around him, and his breath hitches in his chest, and its possibly the hottest
fucking thing hes ever seen.

He wants to drag it out, though; wants to tease him. He presses his lips against Liams hip, and
then kisses the top of his thigh, and then moves to kiss the inside, too, until Liam is panting and
hes dropped his head back against the carpet. Finally he moves his attention to Liams cock, but
instead of wrapping his lips around it he just hovers above it for a moment, breathing heavy,
watching Liam.

Come on, Liam groans, fingers digging into the carpet. Zayn--,

He cant help it; he smirks at him. He complies, though, wrapping his lips around the head. He
circles it with his tongue, first, and then moves down until his mouth meets his hand. Liam is
breathing heavy, chest rising and falling, and Zayn keeps his eyes trained on him the whole time,
watching his reactions.

Theres something kind of amazing about watching Liam come apart, because he really does. His
body was tensed and tightly wound, and his eyebrows were scrunched up, and his fingers were
curled into the carpet. The longer Zayn worked on him, though, mouth sliding up and down,
tongue teasing the head at the right times, the looser Liam got. His head fell back, and his eyes fell
closed. His stomach muscles relaxed, and his breath became shuddery inhales and exhales, instead
of short, sharp pants.

Zayn wasnt exactly the biggest fan of sucking dick, but, if everyone looked like Liam while he
did it, he probably would be.

Every time Liam let out a quiet groan, or even whimper -- when he hit the back of Zayns throat--,
Zayn felt his own cock twitch, but he was too focused on Liam to reach a hand down to relieve
himself.

There was still knocking at the door, but this time it was quicker, sharper knocks, and Zayn heard
Louis say loudly, Are they still not answering?

And then the sound of someone turning the door handle reached their ears, and Zayn pulls off
Liam and asks quickly, The door is locked, right?

Liams eyes are like saucers and his mouth is open as he shakes his head. I dont know, I--,

Are you fucking kidding me? Louis demands, staring down at them.

Liam makes an embarrassed sound and scrambles to grab his clothes, but Zayn just flops onto the
ground and stares up at the ceiling. I hate you, he tells Louis. I hate you so much.

This is your idea of keeping it in your pants? Louis asks.

Zayn groans and points to his boxers. Still technically in my pants.

Liams pulling on his jeans, but Zayn cant even look at him, because he figures Liam will be
blushing and fumbling and he probably looks adorable. He just cant handle that right now.

Youre an idiot, Louis tells him before turning to Liam. Hi, Im Louis.

Um, Liams voice is shaky. Hi. Im Liam.

Id shake your hand but I have a feeling it was in close proximity to my best friends penis within
the past five minutes, so Id rather not.

Zayn finally sits up then, if only to glare at Louis. Go away.

Learn to lock your door, Louis says right back.

Im going to, um-- get a shirt, Liam says awkwardly. Zayn turns to watch him walk into his
room and shut the door behind himself, and then he stands up and crosses his arms over his chest.

Im sorry, Louis relents instantly. But honestly.

I brought food, Harry says quietly, and Zayn realizes for the first time that hed followed Louis
into the apartment. He looks completely unfazed by what just happened, with a bright smile on his
face and a large bag of food in his hands.

Wheres Niall? Zayn asks, bending down to grab his jeans.

Kitchen, Harry supplies Ran in there at the sight of you going down on Liam.

Zayn glares at him, too. I need new friends.

Well it looks like you made one today, didnt you? Harry winks at him.

Liam and Jessie come out of his room right after that, and Harry looks between Zayn and Liam for
a moment. Zayn notes the way Liams shirt buttons arent done up right, hes missed one, but he
doesnt say anything. Harry just bursts into a loud peal of laughter that he tries to stifle by putting a
hand over his mouth.

Lets just not talk about it, Niall says loudly from the kitchen. Deal?

Deal, Liam says quickly.

Deal, Zayn says, too.

Yeah, deal, Harry relents.

Everyone looks at Louis, who has his eyebrows raised and a hand on his hip. Okay, fine, but I
want details later.

Dont hold your breath, Zayn mutters, as he passes Louis on the way to the couch.

I said details, Louis replies, following behind him. Not tips.

Harry snorts a laugh at that, and that pretty much sets the mood for the rest of the night. They all
watch a movie -- Zayn, Louis and Harry on the couch, Niall and Liam sprawled out on the floor--
and eat while Louis and Harry make as many inappropriate jokes as they can.

Zayn is frustrated, to say the least. For one, he was still tightly wound, and Liam kept looking at
him out of the corner of his eyes, and hed bite his lip in a way that made Zayn want to jump him.
But he was also pretty sure that, despite what theyd both agreed to, this was going to make things
awkward. They barely knew each other, they had to live together, and theyd hooked up. That
had to be a recipe for disaster.

He cant help but wonder if theyll pick things up where they left off after everyone else leaves,
but they dont. They just clean up the slight mess that was made and then awkwardly say
goodnight to each other before heading to bed.

--

Nothing else happens between them for a week. And, weirdly enough, he settles into life with
Liam easily.

Liam showers before he gets up in the morning, and he makes breakfast while Zayn takes Jessie
for her morning walk. By the time Zayn heads out the door for class, Liam is sprawled out on the
couch watching cartoons with Jessie sitting at his feet.

Liam doesnt have much of a life, Zayn learns quickly. Hes there when Zayn leaves, and hes
there when Zayn gets home. Sometimes, hell go over to Harrys, but most of the time he just
camps out in the living room. Not that Zayn minds all that much, really, because Liam likes the
same kind of movies he does, and Liams an expert at cooking microwavable dinners.

On Saturday, when he finally pulls himself out of bed, Liams in the shower. He stretches in the
hallway and Jessie greets him with the usual rub against his leg. Instead of running off to the front
door like she usually does, though, she bounds into the living room and flops onto the floor. Liam
must have taken her out already, he realizes.

He heads into the kitchen, scratching at his stomach as he goes, and grabs the box of cereal from
under the counter. Liam eats all healthy cereals, the kind with lots of fibre and shit. Zayn likes the
sugary ones.

Hey, Liam says from behind him when he reaches for a bowl. He didnt hear the shower turn
off, but there he is, dripping water and standing in the kitchen in nothing but a towel. Zayn
watches in fascination as he bends down to get his own box of cereal, admiring the way the towel
hangs low on his hips and the water drips down his back. Maybe itll fall, he hopes.

It doesnt.

We should go out today, Zayn blurts while pouring himself a bowl.

Liam frowns at him. Out?

Zayn shrugs. Youre home when I leave, and youre home when I get back. You need to get out
of the house.

Liam snorts and grabs a bowl for himself, too, and then pulls open the fridge and grabs out the
milk. Are you asking me out?

Instead of getting embarrassed or defensive, Zayn says, As a friend.

Liam adds cereal and milk to his bowl and then passes the milk to Zayn, who fills his and then
grabs two spoons from the drawer. He passes one to Liam and puts one in his own bowl, before
passing the milk back to Liam, who puts it away.
Okay, Liam says, leaning against the counter. He spoons up a bite of cereal, chews, and then
says, Whatre we going to do?

Zayn stirs the contents of his bowl to make sure the milk is thoroughly sugary before he takes a
bite. Movie, Zayn answers. That shitty theatre downtown, you know the one they closed two
year ago? Liam nods. They opened it back up two months ago, but they only play movies that
are at least five years old. Theyre playing Fight Club and Batman Begins tonight.

Liam grins around his mouthful of cereal. Sounds great, he says after swallowing. You work
today?

Zayn nods. Until six, but well go after that?

Liam nods and they finish eating before putting their bowls in the sink. Zayn goes and showers
after that, while Liam does whatever it is that Liam does.

He doesnt tell Louis about it, for the same reason Louis doesnt mention the fact that he went
home with Harry the other night. Theyd both make bigger deals of it than either of them would
want, so its best just not to talk about it. Because its not a big deal. Liams his roommate and,
yes, he may have gone down on him, but that was in the past. Its good that they get along well.
Its good that they have a lot in common, and that they can just go out to a movie without it being
awkward.

The thing is, Liam is like his perfect roommate. He really is. Hes not messy, or annoying. He
doesnt play music loudly or soak the bathroom floor when he showers. The only thing he does
that doesnt fall under the category of perfect roommate is hogging the television, but even then,
he watches shows that Zayn likes, so its not even an issue.

Sure, hes still completely gorgeous, and Zayn wants to jump him every time hes shirtless, but
hes dealing with that. Hes happy that theyre just friends, actually, because it makes things
easier. Why complicate what has turned out to be a really good thing by trying to hook-up again?
Especially after the embarrassing disaster that was the result of them trying things the first time?

Zayn heads to work in a better mood than usual, which is a good thing because costumers are
more likely to put extra money in the tip jar if hes smiling at them instead of scowling. See,
Zayns not stupid. He knows the reason he was hired is because hes fairly attractive, and most of
the people who come into their shop are women in their early thirties, ones who blush and stutter
when he smiles a them.

He leaves work with the number of a tall red haired girl who he actually plans on calling tonight,
after he gets home from the movies with Liam. Maybe theyll go get drinks tomorrow, hell hook
up with her, and hell stop lusting after his roommate. Or, says the voice in the back of his mind,
Liam will get jealous.

Hes not sure if hes dreading that, or looking forward to it.

He gets back to the apartment at about six thirty, and Liams not there. Neither is Jessie, though,
so he must be taking her for a walk. He strips off the shirt he wore to work and heads to his room
to change. Hes not dressing up, hes going out with a friend. Its not a date, so dressing up isnt
necessary. He just grabs his Boyce Avenue t-shirt and pulls it on and leaves on the jeans hes been
wearing all day.

He hears Liam come in a moment later with a loud, Slow down, let me take off your leash! but
Jessie barks defiantly and she pushes into Zayns room, dragging Liam behind her. Sorry, he
says as she jumps on Zayn and licks his face.
Its fine, Zayn says, though he regrets wearing the dark shirt now, because theres hair all over
it. Hey baby girl.

Jessie falls to the ground and allows Liam to take off her leash before running out the door,
probably to drink out of the toilet even though she has a fresh, cold bowl of water in the kitchen.

How was work? Liam asks, leaning against the door frame.

Zayn shrugs. Fine, he says. Got some girls number.

Really, Liam says, expression unreadable. You going to call her?

He was going to. He was. She was attractive, and he liked a girl who went after she wanted,
instead of waiting for the guy to make the first move. But, looking at Liam, wearing a t-shirt and a
pair of sweatpants, leaning casually against the door, she suddenly doesnt seem all that attractive,
in comparison.

I dont know, Zayn says, frowning. Probably not.

Liam grins and pushes away from the door. Im going to change. What time are we heading out
at?

Zayn had checked the movie schedule on his phone earlier, and he knows that Batman starts at
quarter after seven. In about fifteen, if youre ready.

Are we walking? Liam asks from the hallway. Because neither of us have a car. His voice
comes from his room then, and Zayn walks into the hallway to find Liams door wide open, and
him pulling off his pants. His eyes move down Liams body, over the curve of his hip bone and
down his legs, tight black briefs leaving little the imagination.

He mentally shakes himself and moves on to the living room. Or we can cab.

Its up to you, Liam calls from his bedroom. I dont mind walking.

Okay, Zayn agrees, sinking into the couch. Hes in Liams normal spot, the one he curls up on
in the morning. The cushion sinks more than the others, making it obvious that its well used. The
smell of Liam surrounds the area, too, a bit more potent than it is in the rest of the apartment. Like
spicy body spray and the citrus shampoo he uses.

Its sad, really, that Zayns already memorized that smell, but there it is.

Liam comes out of the room wearing a plain white shirt underneath a burgundy sweater. The
stubble thats usually on his face is gone, and he looks good, Zayn notes. Not that he really
focuses on that, because friends dont focus on that kind of shit, right?

Ready? Liam asks, twirling a set of keys in his hands.

Zayn pushes off the couch with a, yeah and puts his shoes on, and then theyre out the door.
Do you think we should have invited the others? Zayn asks as an afterthought. Maybe it was a
bit weird, just the two of them going out and not even debating calling their friends to come with
them.

Nah, Liam says while locking the door. None of them would want to see whats playing.

True, Zayn agrees, the ball in his stomach that he hadnt even noticed until then unravelling a
bit.
They should have gotten a cab, he realizes as they get outside. Its nice out, and its not that long
of a walk, but they stand close enough to each other that their hands brush on more than one
occasion. They probably look like a couple, he thinks, not a pair of friends. Theyre standing too
close, and Liams smiling brightly, like he couldnt imagine a better place to be at the moment than
walking down the street with Zayn.

Zayn reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his pack of cigarettes and lighter. Liam pauses
midstep and watches him light the cigarette and then blow out the smoke, a frown on his face.

I didnt know you smoked, Liam says tightly.

They live in a non-smoking building, so the only time Zayn lights up is outside. Its why he never
complains about taking Jessie out way more often than Liam does, because he voluntarily does it.

Zayn takes another hall and slowly releases the smoke this time, and then smirks at Liam. Does it
bother you?

Liam looks away and shrugs. A bit, he admits. Its weirdly hot, though.

Zayn chokes out a cough, but not from the chemical filled smoke in his lungs. Really.

A bit, Liam says again, and then he grins at Zayn. Youve got this whole bad-boy thing, with
the cigarettes and the leather jacket, but I caught you watching Glee the other night.

Zayn gapes at him. I wasnt watching Glee.

You were, Liam says knowingly.

It was the only thing on, Zayn hisses.

Sure.

Before he can deny it again - he wasnt willingly watching it! It really was the only thing on,
except childrens shows- they stop in front of the theatre. Zayn tosses his half finished cigarette to
the ground and steps on it to make sure its out, while Liam holds open the door for him.

Its all very gentlemanly, but at least he doesnt offer to pay for Zayn, who covers the cheap
admittance with a quarter of his tip money from today. Theyre just about to go up to the vendor to
get popcorn and drinks -- and maybe a pack of peanut M&Ms too, because theyre Zayns
favourite-- when Liam puts a hand on his arm, stopping him.

Zayn frowns but Liams busy watching people in front of them. Is that--,

Zayn follows his line of sight to see a familiar head of curly hair, and another familiar person
tucked under his arm. Theyre getting popcorn, and both of them are wearing black sweaters and
black pants, like they were trying to be inconspicuous. Louis giggles at something Harry says, and
then points to the rack of candy. Harry grabs a pack of something for him and then pays the teller
for the both of them.

Are they on a date? Zayn asks, eyes wide.

I think they are, Liam agrees.

Harry and Louis grab their bucket of popcorn and single drink and duck into the theatre playing
Fight Club. Liam looks down at his ticket with a thoughtful expression on his face and says,
Want to spy on them instead?
Absolutely, Zayn agrees.

Hes so not letting this go. Not after listening to Louis go on and on about how ridiculous Harry
was, and how he wouldnt ever, in a million years, actually go out with him. And there they were,
sneaking into an old theatre to watch a movie that Zayn knows for a fact Louis hates.

Wait, Liam says, heading up to the counter. We still need food.

Zayn nods and orders himself a bottle of lemonade, while Liam gets himself a large coke and a
bucket of popcorn. He turns to Zayn and asks, Do we want extra butter?

Zayn hesitates. He didnt know they were going to share, but then, he and Louis shared popcorn
at the theatre all the time, right? Sure. And can we get some peanut M&Ms?

Liam makes a face. You eat the ones with nuts?

Zayn nods. Theyre the best.

Youre disgusting, Liam tells him, but he turns to the cashier and asks her to get them a bag
anyways.

When theyve got their food and drinks, they head into the theatre that Louis and Harry went into,
instead of the one at the back of the building where their movie was playing. He was kind of
looking forward to watching Batman with Liam, because he knew Liam was a pretty big fan.
Liam was secretly a big dork, Zayn knew, but then again, so was he.

Its dark in the theatre but the light coming from the screen is enough for them to see Harry and
Louis, sitting at the far left. Theyre in a little world of their own, hunched close together and
talking with each other.

Lets sit right behind them, Liam suggest. See how long it takes them to realize were there.

Zayn grins and nods. He figures this is just payback for all the blowjob jokes the two of them have
made.

Liam sits in the spot closest to the wall, the one behind Louis, while Zayn sits behind Harry.
Neither of the other boys notice Liam and Zayn, and Liam looks close to bursting with laughter
over the whole thing. He settles into his seat and offers Zayn some popcorn while Harry and
Louis start kissing.

Huh, Zayn says, simultaneously watching the screen and his best friend swap spit with the guy
he supposedly disliked. Thats bad form. Lous mouth is open too much.

Liam cocks his head to the side. Harrys pulling his hair a bit hard.

Yeah, but that could be a good thing, Zayn contemplates. Personally I dont mind a bit of a
rough kiss.

Really, Liam says, turning to him. He can see Liams eyes in the reflection of the screen, and
they get impossibly bigger the closer he gets. If Zayn leans in, just a bit more, their lips would be
pressed together.

Lou, Harry says breathily, and Liam snorts loudly.

Zayn grabs a handful of popcorn and throws it at them, and Louis turns, a fire blazing in his eyes.
Zayn knows hes about to flip shit on what he thinks is some random, rude movie goers. The
second he locks eyes on Zayn, though, he lets out a indignant squeak and buries his head in
Harrys neck.

Go away, Louis moans.

Having a nice date? Liam asks pleasantly.

Harry grins at them. Yeah. What about you two?

Were not--, Zayn protests, but Harry smirks, letting him know that hes so not buying it.

Its not a date, Louis groans, still hiding his head in Harrys shoulder. I hate you.

Its not? Harry asks, pulling back.

Louis looks between Zayn, Liam, and Harry with wide eyes and then dramatically throws an arm
over his face. Its a date. Its a freaking date. Can you make them leave now?

Arent you guys supposed to be seeing Batman? Harry asks, raising an eyebrow.

Zayn frowns at Liam. You told him?

I didnt know I wasnt supposed to, Liam says, taken aback. He grabs the popcorn and his drink
and stands up. Come on. Lets leave before your best friend stabs one of us in the face.

Listen to the man, Zayn, Louis hisses.

Zayn snorts and follows Liam out of the theatre. When they get into the right one, theyve only
missed the first five minutes. They sit closer to the back of the nearly empty theatre. Liam is
grinning widely and avidly watching the screen, which doesnt surprise Zayn at all. Sometimes
Liam acts far too mature for his age, and other times he acts like hes five years old.

I love this part, Liam says quietly, putting his hand on Zayns thigh.

Zayn looks down at where Liams touching him, but Liams busy watching the screen. He can see
the lights flashing in Liams eyes, but hes not really paying attention to the movie at that moment.
Liams hand is too warm on him to not be taking all of his attention.

Zayn shifts in his seat and Liam removes his hand so he can take a sip of his drink. Zayn rips open
the package of M&Ms and shoves a handful in his mouth. When he looks back at Liam, Liams
watching him with his nose wrinkled.

Just cause you dont like them doesnt mean that I cant, Zayn points out.

Theyre so crunchy, though, Liam says, still grimacing.

Zayn shrugs and eats a few more before Liam steals the package from him. He watches as Liam
carefully takes a single M&M out of the bag and chews it. Nope, he say after taking another
large sip of his drink. I still dont like nuts.

Its so absurd that Zayn laughs loudly, causing a person a few seats in front of them to turn around
and shush him. Liam shakes with suppressed laughter at that, but Zayn just sinks back into his seat
with an annoyed huff.

Liams a fun person to watch movies with, because he gets really into them. He gasps at the right
times, laughs at others, and is quiet during the serious scenes. Its distracting, though, because
times, laughs at others, and is quiet during the serious scenes. Its distracting, though, because
Zayn finds himself paying just as much attention to Liams reactions as he does the movie. And
Liam has a bad habit of grabbing his leg when he gets too into a part.

Liam ends up eating most of the popcorn, which is actually surprising. From what hes seen, Liam
eats pretty healthy most of the time.

When the movie ends the lights come on, and Liam yawns and stretches. Its still good, every
time I rewatch it, he says, grinning.

Yeah, Zayn agrees, grabbing his half empty bottle of lemonade when he gets up. Glad you had
fun.

Want to get something for dinner? Liam asks as they walk out of the theatre. Theres that food
truck a few streets down.

Zayn hesitates, because getting dinner too seems a lot more date-like than just seeing a movie.
Hes hungry, though, and hes been meaning to check out that food truck since Louis told him
they sold the best chips. Okay, he agrees.

They dont see Louis and Harry on their way out, but thats probably because their movie is
longer. Its dark outside when they push open the doors, and Zayn feels like he just woke up from
a long nap. Thats the one thing he always hates about going to the cinema.

It doesnt take them long to find the food truck. When they do, Liam takes a full five minutes to
figure out what he wants, even though he just ends up getting a burger and chips, just like Zayn.

Zayn lights up another cigarette while they walk home, and Liam starts eating his chips on the
way. Zayns waiting for it to feel awkward, waiting for one of them to say something and ruin it,
but that never happens. They just walk and chat idly about the movie, and make a few jokes about
Harry and Louis, and thats it. It doesnt feel too heavy, it just feels light and friendly, like its
supposed to.

Except the second they get through the door to their apartment, Liam puts the bag of food on the
table and then pushes Zayn onto the couch and kisses him. Its a hard, demanding kiss that tastes
like salt from the popcorn and the chips, but also a bit sweet from the candy hes eaten. Liams a
heavy weight on top of him and hes a bit caught off guard.

Liam, Zayn gasps against his lips. He puts his hands on Liams shoulders and pushes him back
a bit, but not too far. What are we doing?

Liam cocks an eyebrow. Last time I checked? Kissing.

He moves his lips to Zayns neck and theyre just the right amount of slick and soft, and Zayn
sighs into the feeling of before coming back to himself. Wait-- wait. Liam--,

Liam groans and pulls back. I thought we already went through this.

We did, but--,

Just friends, Liam assures him. Roommates.

Who have sex.

Exactly, Liam grins. Unless you dont want to.

Liam is going to ruin him, he knows. I want to.

Good, Liam kisses his neck again and then whispers into his ear, because Ive been waiting
over a week for you to make another move and fuck me.

Shit, Zayn breathes. Who the hell even is Liam Payne, because sometimes hes this innocent,
sweet guy, and then he says things like that while grinding down against Zayn, and Zayn just
cant figure him out.

Their food is getting cold on the table, Jessies laying down at the end of the couch a few feet
from them, and neither of them really give a shit, because theyre too busy scrambling for each
others clothes. Zayn gets Liams shirt off quickly, and Liams pulling on his belt in frustration.
Zayn cuts his eyes to the door and realizes that theyve left it unlocked again.

Just s second, he says, stilling Liams hands. We should lock the door.

Liam looks at the door, and the back down at Zayn, and he makes an annoyed sound, like he
really doesnt to get off him, but he knows he has to. He slides off Zayn and locks the door, but
instead of getting back on top of Zayn when hes done, he heads for the bedrooms.

You coming? he calls.

Zayn watching him disappear into his own bedroom and then looks at Jessie, whos watching him
with judgemental eyes. Shut up, Zayn tells her.

He steps into Liams room to find Liam on the bed, naked. Liam is all tanned skin and toned
muscles. Hes hard, too, and watching Zayn with heavily lidded eyes, not a single hint of
embarrassment on his face. Zayn wonders what happened to the blushing boy hed been when
they first met, because this cannot be the same person.

Its as hes reaching to undo his own pants that he tells himself to man the fuck up. Hes been
hesitating and cautious with Liam this whole time, but thats not really who he is. He likes to be in
control, knows what he wants, and he knows how to get it. Liam watches him like hes the one in
control, but Zayn decides, as he shucks his boxers, too, that hes not having any of that.

He flicks off the light and heads over to the bed.

Zayns fairly good at manoeuvring around in the dark and he climbs into bed beside Liam and
then manages to find Liams face. He kisses him once, chastely, briefly, on the lips, and then
moves down his body. He wishes he could see Liams reaction, but he works better without
someone intently watching his every move. He grabs Liams cock and moves down his body so
that he can teasingly lick at the head. Instead of going down on him, though, he moves his lips to
Liams thigh and gently bites the inside of it. Liam lets out a surprised sound and his legs spread a
bit more, just like Zayn figured they would.

He slowly strokes Liams cock with one hand, while the other one drops lower to cup his balls,
and then even lower, and he gently slides a finger over Liams hole, so softly that Liam shivers at
the contact.

You have something? Zayn asks, enjoying the fact that his voice sounds as low and rough as he
wanted it to.

Um, he can faintly see Liam nodding his head in the dark. Somewhere--, he hears the sound
of a drawer opening, and a bunch of things being moved around. One second, Liam says,
sounding frustrated. I cant--,

Zayn grins and moves up Liams body again. He reaches into drawer while moving his hips down
against Liams. Theyre not at the right angle, and the friction isnt enough, but their bodies still
move together in a way that has Liam putting a hand on Zayns waist, fingers digging into skin.

Zayn feels around blindly in the drawer and manages to produce a bottle of lube -- or hes, like,
ninety percent sure thats what it is-- and a single condom from what had been a brand new box.
He keeps them both in one hand and uses the other to hold himself over Liam. He shifts his hips a
bit and then grinds down against him.

He hears Liams breath catch and leans down to whisper hotly in his ear, You okay, Liam?

Y-yeah, Liam answers shakily. Just-- can you--,

Zayn moves against him again and their erections slide together just right. He bites down a groan
of his own so that he can hear Liams. Can I what?

Zayn, Liam whines impatiently.

Hed be lying if he said that Liam saying his name like that didnt do it for him, because it
definitely fucking did. Friends, roommate, whatever they were, it didnt matter; he wanted to hear
that over and over again.

In fact, he wanted to see just how vocal Liam could get. Ignoring his own need, he moves back
down Liams body, bottle of lube and condom still held securely in hand. He doesnt use them
yet, though, but instead pushes Liams thighs farther apart. Liam complies easily, willing to move
however Zayn guided him, and Zayn groaned just realizing that.

He mouths at Liams hip again and, because he can, sucks a mark into the skin there. He cant see
if it stays but he figures it does. Then he moves to the inside of Liams thigh, kissing and nipping
gently at the skin there. He knows its super sensitive, can tell just from the way Liams legs shake
as he does it.

He finally pops open the lube container -- grateful that its not some of that artificial berry scented
shit that some people have, because he cant stand that stuff-- and coats his fingers. Its cold, he
knows, and he doesnt bother trying to warm it up with the heat of his hands before pressing his
index finger against Liams entrance again. Liam gasps in surprise and then pushes his hips down,
trying to get Zayn to move.

Zayns full blown smirking now as he slowly circles his finger around the hole, not pushing in.
Hes not going to, either, not until Liam asks.

It doesnt take long for that to happen, because Liams squirming under him, trying to push down
on his fingers, and finally gives up and says, Fuck, Zayn, stop teasing me.

He complies, pushing the first finger in. Liams tight and warm around him, but hes relaxed
enough that Zayn doesnt wait very long to add a second finger. It doesnt take him long to find
that spot inside of Liam, either, because he crooks his fingers a bit, moves them just right, and
Liam clenches around him and lets out a huff of breath. He could easily slip another finger in. In
fact, he figures Liams pretty good for prep, if he wanted to get things going. He doesnt yet,
though. He wants to see how crazy he can drive Liam with just his fingers until hes begging for
more.

He slowly moves his fingers inside Liam, spreading them wider at times, crooking them to hit that
spot at others, pulling almost all the way out and then pushing them back in. Liams writhing, one
of his hands griping Zayns bicep in a tight, painful grip. Liam goes to fist himself with his other
hand, but Zayn bats his hand away and covers it with his own. He grips Liam loosely and moves
too slowly for it to give him any kind of release, which is obvious by the groan of frustration Liam
lets out.

He slides his thumb over the head while crooking his fingers, and Liam moans quietly, like hed
tried and failed to hold it back. Zayn is still painfully hard, and he knows its only a matter of time
before one of them gives in and moves things along, but hes trying his best not to be that person.

And he wins, too, because Liam gives in and tugs on his arm. Im good, Liam says, voice
rougher than usual.

Are you? Zayn asks, and, just to be an asshole, he finds that spot inside Liam again with his
fingers.

Y-yeah, Liam says. Just get up here. Zayn. Come on. Please.

What was that? Zayn asks.

Liam flops his head back against the bed. Zayn, please.

Yeah, okay, Zayn agrees, because as much fun as it is teasing Liam until hes begging, he
really, really needs to fuck him.

Zayn fumbles for the condom, which he put somewhere on the bed to his right. His fingers find
the little package and he tears it open with his teeth -- not because hes trying to look cool or
experienced, but because his fingers are too slippery to open it-- and he slides the condom on
before slicking himself up.

Liams got his legs spread wide still, and Zayn settles himself between them and uses his hand to
guide himself to Liams entrance. Liams holding his breath, and Zayn can faintly see him in the
small amount of light slipping in through the window. Hes staring up into Zayns eyes with his
lips parted. Zayn has to kiss him, so he does, blanketing Liams chest with his body as he slowly
pushes in.

He nips on Liams bottom lip to distract him from any pain, and Liam digs his nails into Zayns
back. Zayn lets out shaky breath of his own as he pushes all the way in. Liam feels incredible, the
perfect amount of heat and friction. He presses his lips to Liams neck as he bottoms out, and then
waits for a moment.

Move, Liam orders, trying to sound firm but failing.

Zayn sucks another mark into Liams neck, right where it meets his shoulder, just because he
knows itll be there tomorrow and that fill him with something that feels a lot like contentment.

He pulls out of Liam slowly, knowing that hes still adjusting, and then pushes back in. Hes not a
teenager anymore, and hes not an inexperienced virgin; still, he has a feeling this is all going to
end a lot faster than hed like. He cant help that, though, because Liam is tight and he smells so
good -- like he always does, but mixed with sweat, which isnt as gross as it should be-- and feels
so good, and fuck, why did they wait this long to do this? Maybe a week isnt all that long, but it
sure as fuck feels like it was.

Eventually Liams hands drop from Zayns back to his ass, and he digs his fingers in, urging Zayn
to move more. Zayns definitely not saying no, and he lifts Liams leg to curl it around his back so
he can get better momentum.

Their bodies are slick with sweat everywhere they touch, and Zayn feels that familiar tightening in
his lower stomach. He pushes himself up on one hand and struggles to jerk Liam off with the
other. His fingers are still a bit slick with lube and he works Liam as quickly as he can. He doesnt
have to get Liam off before he does but he wants to.

Liams letting out a steady stream of soft, whimpering sounds, and Zayns not doing very good at
holding in his own groans, either. They mingle with the sound of skin hitting skin and Zayn closes
his eyes for a moment, letting himself get lost in it all. When he opens them again, Liam lets out a
low, shuddering breath, and then hes coming over Zayns fingers. Zayn feels him clench
impossibly tighter around him, and thats pretty much it for him. He grinds his hips forward a few
more times and then he grabs Liams thigh and digs his fingers in as he comes.

He wants to collapse on top of Liam afterwards, but he doesnt think Liam would appreciate it.
Instead, he carefully pulls out and falls onto the bed beside him. Liams still breathing heavy, but
so is he. He feels warm and the right kind of tired, the kind of tired you feel after a good workout,
or fuck.

After a bit, Liam sits up and Zayn sees him reaching around in the dark for something. He finds it-
- a t-shirt-- and cleans himself off, and then hands it to Zayn, who wipes Liams cum off his
fingers and then sits up, too.

Theres a garbage can in the left corner, Liam tells him.

Right, Zayn nods, and finds his way around in the unfamiliar room. He knots the condom and
then throws it out before heading for the light switch.

When he turns the light on, Liams sitting up in bed in his briefs. Zayn locates his discarded
clothes and pulls on his boxers while leaving his jeans in his hands.

Goodnight, Zayn, Liam says pointedly, reminding them both that this was just a casual thing. It
wasnt like they were going to fall asleep in each others arms. It wasnt like they were going to
cuddle and hold hands or anything.

Night, Zayn says on his way out the door. He closes it behind himself and then goes into his
room.

--

It becomes a thing. It wasnt decided, or spoken about. It just happened. Theyd eat dinner on the
couch, and afterward theyd watch a movie, and Liam would move closer to Zayn and put his
hand on Zayns thigh. Zayn would end up fucking him right there on the couch.

Theyd eat breakfast before school, and Liam would finish first, and then press Zayn against the
counter until he put his bowl down, too, and then Liam would go down on him. Liam came back
from the gym one night and fucked Zayn into the mattress. They went over to Harrys to watch
movies with him and Lou and Niall, and Liam teased him the whole night, which resulted in Zayn
fucking him right against the door when they got home.

They manage to keep the whole thing casual, though. Its just sex between two friends that live
together. They still do normal friend things, like yell at football games, and eat microwaved
dinners on the floor. They dont go on dates, or hold hands, or kiss each other good night. They
dont ever sleep in the same bed.

Neither of them date anyone else, though. Liam says its because he doesnt see a point in having
a relationship. In three months time hell be heading back to the base for training, and then a few
weeks after that theyre sending him back to Iraq. He doesnt want anything serious, because he
doesnt want to have to deal with knowing someone is waiting back home for him, when he might
not come back.

Thats why my room is like that, Liam explains one night when theyre watching Glee. That,
too, has become a thing that neither of them speak about, but that happens anyways. I just dont
see a point in decorating it, you know? I mean, Im not here often enough to paint, or put up
posters or anything. This isnt really my life.

Zayn pulls his eyes away from Darren Criss and frowns at him. What do you mean?

Liam shrugs. This is like the detour, you know? The in between time. My real life is out there,
when Ive got my uniform on, and Im sleeping on a cot.

Oh, Zayn says casually, like hes indifferent. Really, he doesnt want to have this conversation.
He finds himself avoiding thinking about Liams job as often as he can. Doesnt think about the
fact that Liams going to be gone in a few months, and he wont be back for a while.

And thats it, end of conversation. They sing along to Teenage Dream and snort at the stupid parts
of the show, and they forget all about it.

--

I think you need to go out, Louis says to him a week later.

Zayn raises his eyebrows. Go out, he repeats.

On a date, Louis clarifies.

Theyre at Louis apartment, the one he shares with Eleanor. The only reason Zayn and him didnt
share an apartment was because of her, not that Zayn was angry about that. He loved Louis, but
he didnt think hed be able to handle living with him. He and Eleanor fit well together as
roommates; he and Zayn would not.

Why? Zayn asks, flipping through the channels on the television. I dont really see a point. I
dont want a relationship, and Im already having more than enough sex.

Louis sighs. Yeah, I know. But dont you think that maybe thats a bad idea?

Zayn frowns at him. Why would that be a bad idea? I told you. Its casual. Its good.

Its good, Louis repeats. And when he heads back to Afghanistan--,

Iraq, Zayn corrects.

Whatever! Louis says shrilly. How are you being to freaking calm about this whole thing?

Zayn shrugs. Because I told you, Zayn says with more conviction this time. Its not a big
fucking deal. We fuck, we live our lives, thats it.

Louis stops berating him, but he moves closer to Zayn on the couch and puts his head on Zayns
shoulder. You might not realize it now, Louis says quietly. But its not as simple as you want it
shoulder. You might not realize it now, Louis says quietly. But its not as simple as you want it
to be, and we both know it.

It is, actually, Zayn says, pushing him away. Ive having the best sex of my life, and I happen
to be sharing an awesome apartment with a great roommate. Just because I happen to be having
said sex with said roommate doesnt mean Ive got feelings for him anymore than I do for you, or
Niall.

Louis sinks back into his side of the couch. Fine, he snaps. Fine.

What about you and Harry? Zayn asks, trying to change the subject. Louiss just not going to let
it go. Hes just not going to accept that it really doesnt mean anything. Because it doesnt. Zayns
not that stupid.

And that sets Louis off on a whirlwind of a rant, one that ends with, Hes not my type at all but I
cant stop thinking about him.

Then ask him out again, Zayn tells him.

Louis glares at him. I cant just ask him out. What is wrong with you?

Why not?

Because-- because--, Louis waves his hand. Hell think I like him!

Zayn snorts. You do.

Yes, but I cant let him know that. Christ, Zayn, dont you have any idea how relationships
work? The first person to admit they actually care is the one who ends up getting hurt.

Zayn doesnt deny that because he thinks Louis has a point.

--

Zayn gives in to Louis pestering within a month. He invites Liam to come out with them, but
Liam waves them off with a simple, I dont really drink often.

Zayn shrugs and accepts that. Its probably a good thing he doesnt come, because he has a feeling
that Louis would flip on him if he went home with Liam instead of someone else.

There was a time when Zayn would thrive in this scene. Where the loud music would thump
through him and hed pull the first attractive girl -- or guy-- onto the dance floor and press their
bodies together. Where hed get impressively wasted and take a cab back to his dorm room with
someone whose name he wouldnt remember within twenty-four hours.

Hes just not into it tonight. Louis isnt either, but hes trying a lot harder than Zayn. Hes already
danced with three guys, all of which hed pushed away after a few minutes when he got bored
with them.

Zayn just doesnt see a point. If he wants to get laid, he can just go home. In fact, hed have a lot
better of a time doing that, because bringing someone home always had its complications. There
was the awkward goodbye, and he usually ended up paying for their cabs. And then hed have to
fall asleep in a bed that smelled like someone elses perfume or cologne.
At least with Liam, theyd just shower and watch television and Liam would make them
something to eat. And plus, it wasnt like the sex there was lacking. Liam knew what he liked, and
he knew what Liam liked. The sex was fucking fantastic, actually.

I think Im going to head home, Zayn says to Louis when he returns to their table. Louis
cheeks are flushed and he looks annoyed.

No, Louis says firmly. You havent even tried. Come on.

Im just not into it, Zayn admits.

Zayn Malik, Louis says loudly. Either admit that you have a thing for your roommate, or get
out here with me and prove that youre not.

Zayn narrows his eyes, reaches for his shot glass, and downs it. He slips out of the booth and,
with one last contemptuous glare for Louis, he grabs a random girls arm and pulls her onto the
dance floor.

Her name is Marie probably. Shes got long brown hair and bright blue eyes, and moves her
body gracefully against his. An hour -- and a lot more shots-- later, Zayn pulls his phone out of his
pocket and calls Liam.

Hey, Liam says, and he can hear the television in the background. Whats up?

Hey, Zayn says slowly, dragging out the y. He opens his mouth to ask Liam if hed mind if
Zayn brought someone home, and then stops himself and rewords it. Just letting you know that
Im bringing someone home.

Liams quiet on the other end of the line for a moment, and Zayn holds his breath. Marie is
watching him expectantly, but he barely even notices her. Cool, Ill head over to Harrys. Just
come let me know when its safe to come back. Have fun! he says brightly.

Okay, Zayn replies quietly. Bye.

Louis heads home with a tall boy with curly brown hair and brown eyes, which Zayn does not
comment on. Liams not there when he and Marie stumble into the apartment, her hands already
groping him through his pants.

Shes too soft underneath him, smells too flowery. Hes missing the smell of citrus and the feeling
of hard muscles beneath him, but he still fucks her, and then he puts a ten in her hand and sends
her on her way afterwards.

He doesnt head over to Harrys straight away, but jumps in the shower first. He ends up reaching
for Liams shampoo. Its not on purpose. Hed drunk, his shampoo is on the sink, and he cant be
bothered to get out to grab it. And if he likes the way the smell of citrus surrounds him afterwards,
thats his own damn business.

Did you have fun? Liam asks when he gets out of the shower.

Zayn blinks at him. The room is still a bit blurry, and hes not exactly steady on his feet. Tons,
Zayn answers.

Good, Liam says, nodding. She was pretty.

Yeah? Zayn frowns. I guess.

Liam steps closer to him, until theyre pressed flush together. Hes waiting for Liam to kiss him, or
say something. Instead, Liam raises his eyebrows. Do you mind? I need to use the bathroom.

Oh, Zayn steps out of the way. Right.

He falls asleep with the smell of citrus covering up whatever perfume that girl had been wearing.

--

The sex stops. Zayn tells himself its because theyre both busy. Zayns got exams coming up, and
he spends most of his time either at work, in class, or working on important papers and studying.
He spends all of his free time at home in the living room, camped out on the floor surrounded by
papers and books.

Liams been out of the house a lot. He spends a lot of time at the gym, which really pays off,
much to Zayns frustration. His ab muscles are more defined than ever, and he has a habit of
coming home and stripping his shirt off when hes stills sweaty. Hes usually showers right after
that, though, and then heads over to Harrys.

Theyre just busy. Its not like they dont still hang out occasionally. Its just that, when they do,
theyre too busy catching up to fuck. When theyre both free on Sunday they spend the day curled
up on the couch, catching up on episodes of Glee and The Walking Dead -- which Zayn
introduced Liam too, and theyre both now addicted to watching.

He can admit that he cherishes those times a bit too much. Liams a chicken shit when it comes to
the Walking Dead, and he usually sits closer to Zayn, with an arm around his shoulder so he can
squeeze Zayns arm when something freaks him out.

He stars using Liams shampoo everyday, too, but neither of them talk about that.

Its probably for the best, really, that they dont hook up anymore. Louis was sort of right. Maybe
it hadnt meant anything but, over time, it could have. It was good that they nipped that in the bud
before they fucked things up.

Liams got a calendar hanging in the hallway with May 19th circled in red. Every time he changes
the month, a ball in Zayns stomach tightens. By May, that ball is so big he feels like it consumes
him. Its almost all he can think about. When hes at school, when hes curled up on the couch
with a blanket and a plate of leftover pizza. Its like a nagging sort of tugging on his insides. He
can ignore it, if he tries really hard, but its still always there.

He doesnt talk about it. Not with Louis, or with Liam. Not with anyone. He just keeps that to
himself, because he doesnt want to think about it, even though he cant stop thinking about it. As
long he doesnt name it, hell be fine.

He feels like an elastic band, though. One thats been stretched farther than it should be, and its
only a matter of time before it snaps.

And it does snap. On May 16th, when Liams at the gym and he runs out of citrus shampoo. Hes
in the shower, and he reaches for it and squeezes the bottle, and none comes out. He shakes it,
pops the lid, and then tries again. Nothing.

He rips the top off it and stares inside, but its pretty much empty. The smell is still strong, but he
cant wash his hair with whats left.

And thats just it. Hes just so fucking done, at that moment. He gets out of the shower, not even
bothering to dry off his hair, and wraps a towel around his waist. The shampoo bottle is still
clutched tightly in his hand as he pushes open the bathroom door, steam escaping with him. He
stomps through the apartment and out the front door, not caring that hes pretty much naked.

He pounds his free hand on Harrys door, to which Harry calls out a loud, Come in!

He does just that, and grips the towel tightly so that it doesnt fall as he heads over to where
Harrys sitting on the couch. He looks up at Zayn, surprised, and opens his mouth to say
something. Before he can, though, Zayn slams the empty shampoo bottle on the table.

I dont know where he buys it, Zayn states.

Harry frowns at him. Are you okay? he asks slowly, like Zayn is a wild animal thats going to
attack at any moment.

I dont know where he fucking buys it, Harry! Zayn snaps. I use this shampoo every fucking
day, and I dont know where he buys it. What am I going to do when hes gone?

Realization flashes in Harrys eyes and he stands up and puts a hand on Zayns arm, and gently
guides him to the couch. He pushes on Zayns shoulder until Zayn has no choice but to sit down.
Apparently Harry doesnt care if Zayns wet ass soaks his sofa.

Its not about the shampoo, is it? Harry asks quietly.

Zayn glares at him. I know youre taking psychology in school but dont fucking analyse me.

Zayn, Harry says calmly. Just admit it. Im not judging you.

Theres nothing to admit, Zayn says fiercely. I just dont know where he buys his shitty
fucking orange smelling shampoo, for fuck sake.

Youre worried, Harry tells him solemnly.

Im not.

Yeah, you are.

How the fuck would you know? Zayn demands, because hes not worried about Liam leaving.
Hes fucking not. He just likes the fucking shampoo, why the fuck does that have to mean
something?

Because, Harry sighs. I worry too. Every time he goes. You think I dont? Thats my best
friend, Harry says passionately. And if something happened to him, Id be fucking devastated.
And we all know something could happen. No matter how much he acts like its not that
dangerous, or that its fine, that hell be fine, he might not be.

This is bullshit, Zayn states, jumping off the couch. Fucking bullshit.

Zayn--,

No, Zayn shakes his head, not caring that water droplets are splashing everywhere. I just
wanted to know where he got his shampoo. If Liam wants to head off to a third world country and
get himself blown up or shot or whatever the fuck he thinks hes doing, he can go ahead.
Dont be an asshole about this, Harry says, and he stands up, too. Hes heading out in three
days, Zayn, dont you dare put this shit on him before he leaves.

Put what on him? Zayn demands.

Hes been in love with you for fucking months now, Harry hisses. And youve been casual
about the whole fucking thing, and he respects that. In fact, hes happy about that, because he
doesnt want you to be upset when he leaves. So dont you dare pull this shit now, Zayn. I dont
give a fuck if youve finally accepted the fact that you care about him more than you wanted to,
you keep that to yourself.

Keep it to myself, Zayn repeats hotly, rolling his eyes. Harry doesnt have any idea what he
feels, because he doesnt really feel much of anything. Sure, okay, he can admit to worrying about
a friend. Hed been terrified if it were Louis, too, or even Harry himself. But hes acting like
Zayns in love with Liam or something, which hes not.

Keep it to yourself, Harry nods.

Fine, Zayn spits. But theres nothing to keep to myself. I dont know why you and Louis have
this ridiculous idea that theres something more there than there really is, but its starting to get
annoying.

Harry glares at him. Then why didnt you just ask him where he bought the shampoo?

Zayn stares at him for a moment, trying to think of a sufficient comeback to that. He cant, so he
just grabs the empty shampoo bottle off the table and stomps out of the apartment, slamming the
door loudly behind himself.

Liams in the apartment when he gets back. Hey, he says from the couch. Were you at
Harrys?

Did they run out of normal smelling shampoos at the store, or do you just enjoy smelling like a
walking glass of orange juice? Zayn snaps at him on the way to his bedroom.

Liam doesnt reply, but he feels the other boys eyes on him as he pulls his bedroom door closed.
He strips off the damp towel and lets it fall to the ground, instead of hanging it up somewhere like
he normally would. Hes still got the stupid bottle in his hand, and he throws it at the wall in
frustration.

That tight ball inside of him is burning, now, and he wants it gone. He wants to stop feeling like
this, because its going to drive him insane.

You okay? Liam asks from the doorway.

Zayn whirls around to face him, eyes narrowed. Without another thought, he moves forward and
grabs Liam roughly by the sides of his face and crashes their lips together. Its too hard, too sharp,
and he might have split his lip. He doesnt really care.

Come on, he says, pulling Liam backwards.

Liam makes a surprised sound but doesnt fight him, and he pulls Liam onto his bed and then rolls
them over so hes on top. What the fuck are you even wearing? Zayn demands, pulling at the
buttons on Liams shirt. Hell buy him a new one, he decides, because buttons are a stupid fucking
idea and he doesnt have the patience to undo them all slowly.

Zayn! Liam says loudly, but Zayn just grins at him and rips open the last button.
He hopes that shirt wasnt a favourite, but he barely spares it another thought as he scratches his
nails down Liams chest. Liam arches into his touch, and Zayn hesitates for a moment, watching
the red marks bloom on his skin, contrasting against the white scar there. He shakes his head and
continues down Liams chest until he gets to his jeans.

Unsurprisingly, Liams already hard when Zayn tugs his jeans off. He crawls off Liams body so
he can pull off Liams briefs, too, and then he says, Turn over.

Liam frowns at him. What?

Turn over, Zayn orders. On your knees.

The lights are on, and he cant be bothered to turn them off. He cant look into Liams eyes right
now, though, because for some reason that makes the ball in his stomach tighten even more.
Thankfully, Liam obliges, even if he looks a bit surprised.

Zayn rips open the drawer of his bedside table and pulls out the lube and one of the condoms from
the box that hasnt been touched in months.

Hes as gentle as he can be in his hurry to get inside Liam. Hes not dragging it out like he usually
would, isnt looking to make Liam a writhing mess underneath him. Any other time he might have
slowed down, really appreciated the sight of the gorgeous boy in front of him on his hands and
knees, pushing back against his fingers and panting. He just cant right now.

When Liams loose enough he slides on the condom and slicks himself up before lining himself up
with Liams entrance. Liam groans as he pushes in, blanketing Liams back. He bites at the skin of
his shoulder, his tongue swiping over the skin there, feeling the difference between the texture of
his skin and the smoother texture of the scar there.

He pulls back after a moment and grips Liams hips too tight, but Liam doesnt complain as he
pushes into him, again and again, relentlessly. Hes waiting for that tightening in his stomach to go
away, but it doesnt, no matter how hard he pushes into Liam. No matter how loud Liams moans
under him.

Zayn, Liam gasps, and it just gets tighter. Faster. Please.

Zayn complies, and he knows therell be bruises on Liams hips tomorrow. Liam falls onto his
forearms and Zayn releases him and slips an arm around his stomach to grab Liams cock where it
hangs heavy and hard and untouched between his legs. Liam whimpers at the contact and Zayn
tightens his grip a bit and tries to jerk him off to the same rhythm hes using to pound into him.

Liam comes not long after and he sinks farther into the mattress, the only thing holding him up
anymore being Zayns grip on his waist. Zayn just fucks him through it. When he reaches the
edge and comes, too, that tightening in his stomach doesnt loosen, like hed though it would. Its
still there, and its still all he can think about.

He pulls out of Liam slowly and then gets off the bed and throws the condom in the garbage. He
grabs a fresh pair of boxers out of his dresser and grabs a pair of jeans, too, and a t-shirt. Im
going out, he says.

Liams still laying in bed, and he rolls onto his side, frowning up at him. Youre leaving.

For a bit, Zayn says, as he pulls his shirt over his head. Dont be in here when I get back,
okay? and then hes out the door before he can see the hurt in Liams eyes.
He doesnt go home that night. Instead, he ends up on Louis couch. Eleanors not there,
thankfully, and Louis just sighs and makes him a coffee and brings him a blanket. He doesnt
want to talk about it, because theres nothing to talk about. Thats what he tells Louis, too,
numerous times, until Louis finally relents and heads off to bed.

Its not on purpose. Hes just so busy with school and life, and he ends up sleeping on Louis
couch the next two nights. On the nineteenth, he has no choice but to go home. Louis threatened
to shave off his skin with a cheese grater if he didnt.

Liams got a duffel bag at the front door, and hes in full uniform again. His hairs longer than
when theyd first met, and hes not got the stubble on his face, but he might as well be the exact
same person, because hes all hesitance and blushes when he turns to Zayn.

Didnt think Id see you today, Liam says.

Zayn shrugs. Whenre you leaving?

Liam looks down at his watch. Half an hour. He smiles. Jessies freaking out. Take care of her,
yeah?

Obviously, Zayn says dismissively. He can see her sitting on the other side of the couch. Shes
got her head on her hands, and shes just staring sadly up at the two of them. Zayn wonders if
shes realized by now what the uniform means, and if shes really aware that Liams leaving.

Good, Liam says. Um, I was just about to head over to Harrys. Hes driving me out. Ill, um--
Ill see you in a few months, Zayn.

Ill be here, Zayn says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans so he doesnt do
something really stupid, like hug him. Or something.

Will you? Liam asks, tilting his head to the side. Never mind, he says, shaking his head.
Bye.

Zayn watches him go, because his life is not a fucking Nicolas Sparks book. Hes not going to run
after Liam and kiss him, or tell him hes in love with him or something. Liams going to go,
Zayns going to stay, and thats all there is too it.

Jessie comes over and barks at the closed door before laying down beside Zayns feet. Zayn sinks
down to the floor beside her and rubs her head absently, while thy both stare at the door, as if
Liams going to come right back through it.

He doesnt.

--

The one rule Harry had laid down when Zayn moved in was not to go in Liams room. The first
day after Liams gone, he breaks that rule. No, he fucking smashes it to pieces. He doesnt just go
in Liams room, he goes through Liams room.

Hes not sure why hes doing it, except its better to do something instead of just sitting there and
thinking about everything, or worrying at the knot in his stomach that hes come to accept, in the
few hours Liams been gone. Its not going away. Best to just figure out how to live with it.
The first thing he does is pull open the dresser. Liams not a complete neat freak, but his drawers
are perfectly organized with folded clothes. Hes got a drawer for shirts, a drawer for pants, a
drawer for workout clothes, and a drawer for socks an underwear, which is mostly just a bunch of
black socks and black briefs and one single pair of white boxers with giant red hearts that Zayn
thinks were a present from Harry.

Next, he looks under the bed. Theres nothing under there. Not even a lost sock or something. He
sighs and goes to the drawer beside the bed. The top drawer has a pen, paper, and a small
notebook that Zayn opens and finds nothing but a bunch of phone numbers in -- including his
own, written in sloppy writing that he knows is Liams. The second drawer has a bottle of lube, a
box of condoms, a thing of hand lotion and, surprisingly enough, massage oil. Zayn shuts that
drawer, because it just makes him think about having sex with Liam. The bottom drawer is empty.

Frustrated, Zayn heads to the closet and pulls it open. Inside theres a bunch of sweaters, a single
black suit, and a winter coat. Theres a shelf, too, and theres a box on it. Just one. Zayn slams the
closet door and flops onto Liams bed.

Jessie comes in a moment later and sits with him, and Zayn pats the spot beside him on the bed so
she knows shes allowed to come up.

Hes annoyed. Theres nothing, nothing, in the room that really screams Liam. Its so fucking
impersonal, theres not even a picture on the wall. It makes him want to throw something, because
Liam hadnt been lying about what he said on the couch that day. This really was just his in
between place. Liams life wasnt really here.

Fuck this, Zayn says, sitting up quickly. Jessie watches him with questioning eyes, but he
ignores her and pulls open the closet doors again.

He struggles a bit, because the box is heavier than he thought itd be, but he manages to get it
down without breaking anything -- including himself. He puts it on the ground and stares at it for a
long moment before sinking to his knees and pulling it open.

The first thing he sees is the award. He pulls it out and scans it. Its for running. He hadnt even
known Liam was a good runner, let alone good enough to get an award for it. He puts it on the
floor beside himself and then reaches in and grabs the next thing. Its a picture frame, one of a
younger Liam with his arms around an older woman, with a man behind him. There are two girls
sitting beside him, too, and Zayn knows they must be his sisters, even though Liam never
mentioned any siblings.

He puts that beside him, too, and pulls out the slip of paper underneath it. It takes him all of about
three seconds to realize that its the movie ticket from that night he and Liam went to see Batman.
Why the hell Liam kept it, he has no idea. He doesnt really know Liam at all, apparently.

Theres not much else in the box. A school diploma, another track ribbon, and a picture of Liam,
Harry and Niall in graduation gowns with their arms around each other. He takes that picture out
of he box, too, and then puts the award back and closes it. He leaves the pictures on the ground
and puts the box away before setting the picture of Liam and his family on the bedside table, and
the one of him, Harry and Niall on top of the dresser.

--
A month after Liams gone, Zayn realizes he fucking hates the apartment. Its too big. Theres
way too much space for just him and Jessie. Louis is over all the time, but he leaves every night,
whether to go home or to Harrys, Zayn doesnt know, and doesnt ask. Once hes gone, Zayn
feels suffocated by the amount of space.

By the second month, he admits to himself that he misses Liam. He misses watching shitty
television programmes with him on the couch. He misses eating a rushed breakfast with him in the
morning. He misses Liams calloused hands and his scarred back. He misses the feeling of his
body underneath Zayns, misses the sounds he makes when Zayn pushes into him just right.

By the third month he admits to himself that the ball in his stomach is because hes scared Liams
not coming back. Thats the hardest one, and he ends up calling in sick to work three days in a
row and camping out on the couch with Jessie until Louis comes over and snaps him out of it.

On the forth month he starts dating Perrie, and the ball in his stomach loosens a bit. Shes smart
mouthed and sassy, and gorgeous. She cooks him dinner often, and Jessie hates her. Every time
she comes over, Jessie barks relentlessly at her, until they just start hanging out at Perries place
instead.

They break up by the fifth month when Perrie tells him hes just not putting as much into it as she
is. I juts dont see the point in dating someone whos already in a relationship, she says harshly
during their last fight. They make up afterwards and decide its best to just be friends. He likes
Perrie, he does, but things never felt quiet right with her. There was always something missing.

The sixth month is the second worst, and the only word he can use to describe the whole month is
anxious. He feels wired the whole time, and he doesnt know exactly when Liams getting back,
he just knows that he is. As long as hes not, like, dead. Which he cant be, because Zayns world
wouldnt make sense anymore if he was dead.

Thats the thing that makes no sense to him. When did Liam start meaning to much to Zayn?
When did he become the biggest fixture in Zayns life, even over Louis? Probably when he was
the first and last person Zayn saw every day. When hed wake up to Liam getting out of the
shower, and fall asleep after hearing Liams door closed.

Ive got a date tonight, Louis says conversationally as they walk through the aisles of the
grocery store. Zayn makes Louis take him because he has a car and Zayn point blank refuses to
carry a shit ton of groceries on the bus.

Really? Zayn comments as he reaches for a new deodorant. Someone I know?

Obviously, Louis says casually. Its Harry.

Zayn turns to him, eyebrows raised. So youre actually dating now.

Louis shrugs. Maybe. I dont know. Hes the most confusing person ever. Zayn snorts at that,
because, really, its a bit hypocritical, coming from Lou. I just mean-- hes always making his
little comments, and hitting on me, even after we hooked up. But after that first time hes never
made any attempts for us to actually, you know, be in a relationship.

Zayn contemplates that for a moment. He was probably waiting for you to do it. Giving you the
say on whether or not something happens.

Probably, Louis admits, reaching for a bottle of shampoo. Louis has a bad habit of opening and
smelling every bottle. He refuses to buy something unless hes sure he likes the way it smells. He
wrinkles his nose at the bottle in his hand. Who the fuck wants to smell like an orange?
Zayns eyes drop to the bottle in his hand, and he examines the too familiar label before stealing it
from him. He pops the lid open and inhales, and then tosses the bottle into his cart, and, for good
measure, he grabs three extras. He doesnt care if it costs five pounds a bottle.

Apparently you do, Louis says.

Its Liams favourite, Zayn says casually, and Louis makes an annoying cooing sound that Zayn
wants to slap him for. Shut up.

I think its sweet, Louis says as they head into another aisle. How in love with him you are, I
mean.

Zayn nearly chokes on thin air. Im not.

Mhm, Louis says with a roll of his eyes. I bet youre counting down the days until he gets
home. No, the minutes.

Fuck off, Zayn hisses, grabbing a few packs of ramen noodles off the shelf. I dont even know
when hes getting back.

Are you going to tell him when he does, though? Louis questions. He adds a bag of chocolate
chips to his cart and then stares at the shelf in deep concentration before grabbing a second bag.

Tell him what? Zayn asks absently. Hes looking on the shelf for a box of cereal, but he cant
decide which one he wants. The super sugary kind, or the kind of sugary kind? Or both? He grabs
both.

Everything, Louis says, bumping his shoulder into Zayns. Or are you going to just hold it all
in like last time and then have a breakdown when he leaves again?

I didnt have a breakdown, Zayn denies, and hes pretty done with this whole conversation.

Louis doesnt seem to get that, though, because he continues on as if hes not aware of Zayns
growing irritation. You didnt leave your couch for three days straight at one point, Louis points
out. And Harry told me about your freak out with the shampoo.

Zayn glares at him. It wasnt a freak out. Im not in love with him. I didnt have a breakdown.
And I wish you would just fuck off with this whole thing, Louis.

Louis raises his hands defensively. Im just trying to help, he says slowly. Youre a very
emotional person, Zayn, but you try to pretend like youre not. Just like you pretend that you dont
like Glee.

I dont like Glee, Zayn says loudly. A few girls in their aisle look over at him and snigger. I
just like Darren Crisss ass.

I dont even know who that is, Louis replies.

Hes--,

Dont care, Louis says dismissively. Just man up this time, yeah? Its a little sad to watch.

Have you been reading Harrys psychology books? Zayn snaps.

Louis frowns. Maybe.

Youre an idiot.
Youre emotionally constipated and in denial.

Im going to slap you.

Theres witnesses.

I dont care.

Want to fuck against the shelves? Louis suggests, waggling his eyebrows.

Zayn pauses and gapes at him. What the hell is wrong with you?

Louis shrugs. I thought thats where this was going.

Why am I friends with you? Zayn asks, because he really has no idea.

Because, Louis says, slinging an arm over his shoulder. Their carts scrape together loudly. Im
wonderful.

--

Its six in the fucking morning on a Saturday, and the only reason hes up is because Jessie
whined outside his door for an hour. He never minded walking her, but this early in the morning,
there wasnt a single person he would be happy with for waking him up.,

He groggily pulls on his sweatpants and a sweater and grabs his lighter and cigarettes from his
bedside table. Jessies tail is wagging like crazy when he opens the door, and she barks happily at
him.

Shh, he tells her. Its too early for you to be this loud.

Jessie, apparently, doesnt care. She continues to bark at him until they get to the front door, and
he puts on her leash with difficulty, because she wont sit still. When they get outside, he lights up
a cigarette and takes a deep hall. Its that weird time of morning where its still half night, and the
sky is navy blue but the streetlights are on.

A few people drive by them in cars, but mostly the streets are empty. Jessie drags him to her
favourite spot at the corner of the block. By the time they get back to the apartment hes finished
his cigarette and Jessie is walking slowly instead of tugging him everywhere.

He falls back into bed and manages to pass back out, until the sound of the shower running wakes
him up. At first, he dismisses it. Liam always showers early, because hes a freak and actually
enjoys getting up before the sun. He wakes up a bit more, though, and he realizes that hes the
only one who showers in his apartment, because hes the only one there.

He jumps out of bed, not bothering to pull on pants or a shirt, and goes straight to Liams room.
Theres a duffle bag on the floor, and his uniform is folded neatly at the end of the bed.

The sound of the shower turning off reaches his ears, and he hears Liam fumbling around in the
bathroom. Hes still just standing their in Liams room when he comes in. Hes got a towel slung
low on his hips, and Zayn just fucking stares at him, because its all he can do.
And that ball in his stomach? Its gone. Its gone, because Liam is right there, and hes alive and
fine and, fuck, Zayn is in love with him. He doesnt just love the feeling of Liams body beneath
his, or the way they move together, sweat slicked skin, panting into each others mouths. He loves
their early breakfasts and the fact that he can count on Liam to have a pot of coffee ready for him
when he gets up. He loves watching shitty fucking television with him, and eating microwaved
dinners. He loves that Liam laughs when he manages to over-cook the ramen noodles until theyre
a mushy, inedible mess. He fucking loves him. Totally, completely loves him.

What are you doing in my room? Liam asks, and Zayn realizes that maybe hes alive, but Liam
is not, in fact, okay.

Theres a bandage on his right arm, and hes not smiling that crinkly smile. Theres no warmth in
his brown eyes, either, and hes just looking at Zayn like hes a stranger.

Youre back, Zayn states, because for some reason thats the only thing he can think of.

Obviously, Liam says, frowning at him. Can you get out so I can get dressed?

Right, Zayn nods and ducks past him. He pauses in front of the still open door but Liam doesnt
turn around. He just kicks the door closed between them.

He heads back into his room and pulls on his clothes, even though hes still tired. He would have
slept in for a few more hours, but he knows theres no point in getting back into bed now. Hes
not going to be able to get back to sleep.

When he goes back into the living room, Liams already standing in the hallway. Hes holding
one of the picture frames in his hands, and he has a cold look on his face. You went through my
stuff.

Zayn scratches the back of his neck. Um, he says. He hadnt really considered the fact that Liam
might be pissed at him for that. Sorry.

You cant just go throw my shit, Zayn, Liam says, narrowing his eyes.

Zayn ignores him and takes a step forward. He puts his hand on Liams arm, just underneath the
bandage, and asks, What happened?

Liam steps back. Dont go in my room, he repeats, and then the door closes between them once
again. Zayn thinks its not the only door, but its the only physical one.

--

Liams rarely home. Zayn doesnt know where he goes, but he leaves at the same time as Zayn
does for school, and he doesnt get home until after dinner. When he does, he comes into the
apartment in just a sweat soaked t-shirt and heads straight to the shower.

Zayn invites him to watch something on T.V. with him, but after the third time of Liam saying no,
he stops trying.

Thats why he doesnt expect it, when hes fixing himself a bowl of cereal for dinner. Sure, its
not the most balanced diet, but he cant be bothered to make something more substantial.
Hes reaching for a spoon when he hears Liam come into the kitchen. Before, he might of offered
Liam something to eat, but now he knows that Liam will just say no, so he doesnt bother. But
before he can even turn, Liams lips are on his neck, just below his ear.

I missed you, Liam whispers.

Theres a part of him that is really fucking angry at Liam for everything hes done since hes been
home. Theres another part of him thats just too confused by it all. But the biggest part of him is
leaning into Liams touch and dropping his bowl on the counter.

I missed you, too, Zayn says quietly, while Liams lips continue to press against the skin of his
neck and throat. His hand slides over Zayns stomach under his t-shirt and he drags his nails
against the skin when he pulls back.

Come on, Liam urges, pulling him backwards. Ive been thinking about this for months.

Zayn allows Liam to turn him around, and he waits for Liam to kiss him. He doesnt. And he still
has that vaguely cold, distant look in his eyes that makes Zayn feel shut out. He reaches up a hand
and cups Liams cheek, thumb brushing against his jaw, trying to get that look to go away. It
doesnt.

Come on, Liam says again, pulling at his waist.

What happened, Li? Zayn asks.

Liam frowns at him. What dyou mean?

Zayn drops his hand. I mean what the fuck has been going on with you? Zayn asks, and it
comes out harsher than he meant it to, but he thinks Liam deserves it, and he doesnt feel bad.
Since youve been back youve been--,

Been what? Liam demands, taking a step back.

Youve been gone, Zayn states.

Ive been busy, Liam counters.

No, I mean-- even when youre here, youre not.

I almost died, Liam says calmly, enunciating each word carefully. He points to his arm, which is
still bandaged. A few inches over, and I would have.

Liam, Zayn says, reaching out a hand to touch him. Liam slaps it away.

I just wanted to come home, Liam says quietly. The whole fucking time, I just wanted to come
home. I just wanted to curl up on the couch with you and watch Batman and eat shitty fucking
food and sleep in my bed because it smells like your stupid fucking mixture of colognes. And I
told you didnt want that! I didnt want someone back home, because its too hard! I watch people
every day, people who have pictures of their wives and kids, who sleep with them under their
pillows. And I didnt want to be that person! I didnt want to have something to look forward to
when I got home, because it makes it so fucking hard to be gone!

Zayn just stands there in stunned silence, but thats apparently what Liam wants, because he
doesnt look done yet. He lifts his hand to run over the short bristles of his hair, and Zayn notes a
new scar on the back of his forearm.
Do you know what you last said to me? Liam asks.

Zayn frowns. Goodbye?

No, he shakes his head. You said Ill be here, and you are! You still are, and I just cant deal
with that anymore, Zayn. I cant. I think-- I think--, he turns around and splays his fingers flat on
the counter. I think you should move out.

He doesnt even think it through. Hes staring at Liams back, and he just reaches for his bowl of
cereal and throws the contents at him before slamming the bowl back on the counter. Liam whirls
around, eyes wide, hands clenched into fists. Zayn waits for him to throw the punch, to yell and
scream or anything. He doesnt.

You should go, Liam says very quietly.

Im fucking going, Zayn snaps at him.

He steps over cold milk and soggy cereal, not caring that it soaks into his socks, and heads for the
front door. Jessie is laying in front of the door, and she looks up at him with sad eyes. Move,
Zayn tells her. She doesnt. Jessie!

She gets up then, but she sulks away with her tail between her legs, and Zayn feels bad. He does,
but he cant right now, because he just needs to get out of there. He grabs his jacket and pulls on
his shoes, not taking enough time to put them on properly. Hes going to ruin them, walking on
the backs like that, but he doesnt care.

He slams the door behind himself for good measure, because hes not like Liam. Hes not hushed
tones and serious words when hes angry. He likes the loud noises, and the shouting. Hell, hed
probably be a lot happier if Liam actually had just off and punched him. But of course he
wouldnt, because that isnt who Liam is.

He goes through half a pack of cigarettes before he finally ends up at Louis. Eleanor answers the
door, and she takes a step back at the sight of him. He can guess what his expression looks like,
and his hair, too, for that matter, since hes ran his hands through it enough fucking times.

Come in, she tells him, leaving the door open. Louis!

Louis comes out of his room and freezes at the sight of him. The thing about Louis is that he
doesnt really give a shit about anything, most of the time. You can count on Louis to lighten even
the darkest of moods, but sometimes, when it really matters, he shuts it off and hes the best person
to go to with a problem.

Shit, he says before crossing the room and wrapping his arms around Zayns shoulders. Come
on, he pulls back. Ill run you a shower, and then well talk.

Zayn doesnt want to shower, but he nods anyways. Louis guides him to the bathroom and sits
him on the toilet and turns the water up scolding hot, filling the bathroom with steam almost
instantly. Up, he orders, and Zayn does so. He pulls Zayns jacket off and folds it carefully over
his arm, and then tugs up Zayns shirt. He methodically undoes Zayns jeans, and slips them down
his legs, and then pulls on his arms so he steps out of them. Lift, he orders, tapping on of Zayns
legs, and he tugs off his sock, and then does the same with the next foot.

Ill be right in the living room, he promises. Okay? You need me, just shout.

Zayn nods and Louis leaves. He pulls down his boxers with difficulty. He hadnt realized his
hands were shaking until now, and hes grateful that Louis only left him with one item of clothing
to take off.

The water is too hot, but Zayn reaches for the dial and turns it up a bit hotter anyways. Louis
bathroom has always confused him, because Louis and Eleanor are both exceptionally high
maintenance, and theres about fifteen different bottles of hair care products lined on the tub alone,
and theres more in the compartment behind the mirror. Theres also an assortment of body
washes and shaving creams, but Zayn doesnt touch any of them. Hes not showering because
hes dirty; hes showering because hes cold.

When he turns off the water and steps out of the tub, he finds a navy blue housecoat waiting for
him, and he slips it on. Its soft and warm and he regrets laughing at Louis for buying it. He steps
out of the room with it on, leaving the rest of his clothes on the floor. Hell clean them up later.

Louis waiting for him on the couch, sipping a cup of tea. Dont worry, he says when Zayn sits
beside him. Yours is coffee.

Zayn reaches for his cup and takes a deep sip before wincing. Whats in this?

Vodka, Louis says with a shrug. You looked like you needed it.

Zayn nods and keeps sipping, until the contents burn his throat, both from the alcohol and the
heat. I threw cereal at him.

Louis snorts and covers his face to hold back a laugh. You what?

I threw cereal at him, Zayn repeats, and he sees how that could be funny, distantly, but the
emotion just isnt strong enough for him to react to it. He kicked me out, and I threw cereal at
him.

He--, Louis shakes his head and holds up a finger, signalling for Zayn to pause the conversation
as he digs into his pocket to pull out his phone. He presses a few buttons and then puts it to his ear
and waits. Cant talk long, he says quickly into the phone, but you might want to go see Liam.
Why? Because he kicked Zayn out! And Zayn threw a bowl of cereal at him! Yes, that part is
funny, but-- exactly. Right. Ill talk to you later. Bye.

You called Harry, Zayn guesses.

I did, Louis agrees. Liams not my problem but Im going to take a wild guess here and say
that he probably needs his best mate, too.

Zayn shrugs. I dont really think Liam needs anyone.

Thats not true, Louis says instantly, because thats what youre supposed to say to things like
that. Zayn--,

Do you have a newspaper? Zayn asks abruptly.

A-- what? Why?

Because, Zayn puts his empty cup on the table. I need to start looking for a new place to live.

Louis sighs loudly. You do not, he says firmly. You and Liam will work this out. Just give it a
day or two. You can stay here until then.

Zayn reaches for one of Eleanors cigarettes on the table and lights it without asking. Hell pay her
back if she asks. Louis lets him take a few drags before berating him with questions.
What happened, exactly? he asks. I mean, why would he kick you out? Did you-- now, Im
not assuming that youre the one in the wrong here, but -- do something to upset him?

Apparently, Zayn says, letting out a breath of smoke. I was there, and he didnt want me to be
there.

Louis frowns. Whats that supposed to mean?

Fuck if I know, Zayn says.

Louis sighs and stands up. I dont know why I thought talking this out would work, he says.
You are the hardest person to get through to sometimes, Zayn, I swear to god. One day Im
going to run you over with a truck. Get your ass off my coach.

Zayn frowns at him. What?

Get up! Louis says shrilly, grabbing his arm. He pulls Zayn up with a painful tug. Im bringing
you home, and I will camp outside your door until you and Liam works this bullshit out.

Louis--, Zayn protests.

Not listening, Louis says loudly, dragging him to the door. He tosses Zayns shoes at him with a
look on his face that says he might want to put them on, or next time hes throwing them at Zayns
face.

He doesnt want to go back, but hes a lot more scared of Louis than he is of seeing Liam, so he
pulls on his shoes, takes his leather jacket when Louis hands it over, and follows him out the door.
The ride over is mostly silent except for the radio playing softly in the background. Zayn stares out
the window most of the time until he looks down at himself.

Im in your bathrobe, he says, frowning. Louis, Im still in your fucking bathrobe.

Louis looks over at him, and then pulls the car carefully over the side of the road, gives Zayn
another once over, and laughs so hard it looks like it hurts. His face turns red, his fingers grip the
steering wheel, and he bends forward with the force of it. And Zayn cant help it, a laugh bubbles
up inside of him, too, until hes mirroring Louis, bent over with laughter.

Fuck, Louis says, sitting up straight. He wipes a tear from his eyes. How did we not notice
that?

I was too busy following your orders, you fucking dictator, Zayn says, lips still pulled up in an
unconscious grin.

Zayn feels self-conscious as he and Louis run into the apartment building. How had he gotten all
the way to the car without realizing he was pretty much naked?

When they get to the door, Zayn stands behind Louis, like Louis is his protector or something,
huddled in Louis stupid bathrobe. Louis knocks loudly on the door, and it opens almost instantly.
Harry walks out, grabs Louis arm, pushes Zayn inside the apartment, and then shuts the door
between them.

Liam comes out of the kitchen and then halts, midstep. His shoulders are soaked with milk, and
Zayn almost wants to laugh because he knows how ridiculous they both must look. Liam, with
cereal dried to his shirt, Zayn with damp hair and a bathrobe on.

He doesnt know what to say, exactly, but Liam doesnt look like hes going to say anything first,
so he opens his mouth and the first thing he thinks blurts out of his mouth. I didnt want you to
go.

Liam crosses his arms over his chest. You could have said that, but you werent even here the
last three days before I left.

Zayn reaches up and runs a hand through his still fairly wet hair. I know, he says. I was-- I was
kind of having issues. Dealing with you going. I guess.

You werent the only one, Liam tells him.

Yeah, Zayn nods. I guess I just couldnt admit it to myself, so it was easier to just avoid it
altogether. Like, if I wasnt here, it just wasnt happening.

Well, it still happened, Liam says quietly.

I should go get dressed, Zayn says. Ill-- Ill look for another place to stay, if you really want
me gone.

He goes to shoulder past Liam but Liam catches his arm. I dont want you to go, he says,
pulling Zayn against him. It wont make a difference.

Zayn wants to punch him in the face and kiss him, but he does neither of those things. Why not?
he asks.

Because, Liam sighs. Whether youre here or somewhere else, Im still going to be in love with
you. Thats not going to change.

Thats not fair, Zayn tells him, pulling out of his grip. You cant just do that.

Liam frowns at him, like he honestly has no idea what he did wrong this time. Zayn--,

Fuck, Zayn shakes his head, runs a hand through his hair, turns on the spot, and then faces Liam
again, because he cant stand still. You cant just kick me out and then tell me its because youre
in love with me. You cant just do that and then expect me to fall into your arms and tell you that
its okay because I love you back. Thats not how the real world works.

Im sorry, Liam says sincerely. And fuck, hes giving Zayn those eyes, the ones that Jessies got
down pat, too, the ones that make him want to apologize for whatever it is hes done to put that
look on their faces.

So am I, Zayn says. Because you know how this ends for me? You know what happens now?
I tell you I love you, and we date. And then in six months, you leave again. And either you die, or
you dont. But no matter what, my whole life just stops until youre home. And then when you get
home, we get, what, a four month honeymoon period? And then the rest of my time is spent
worrying about you leaving again. And I cant deal with that. I cant. I didnt sign up for this shit,
Liam, and I cant do it.

I didnt expect you to, Liam says softly. I wouldnt ask that of you.

Youre asking it right now just looking at me like that! Zayn snaps. I cant just wait here for
you to get home, wondering if this is the time that youre not coming back. It drove me fucking
crazy last time, and I cant do that for the rest of my life.

Then what do you want me to do, Zayn? Liam asks. What am I supposed to do here?
Zayn shakes his head and, because he cant help it, he steps back in front of Liam and puts his
hands on either sides of his face. Nothing, Zayn tells him. I cant ask you to stop doing what
you love, and I cant love you because it too fucking hard, Liam, okay?

But then--,

Zayn shakes his head again and kisses Liam hard. His hands drop from Liams face to the bottom
of his t-shirt, and he pulls it up easily. Liam winces when he pulls it over the bandage, but then he
kisses Zayn again and pushes him backwards, pain forgotten. Zayns back aches when he hits the
wall between his bedroom and the bathroom, but Liam just turns them around and starts walking
backwards, pulling Zayn along with him until he hits the bed.

Theres a lot of fumbling and shaking hands, but somehow they get Liams pants off, and then his
boxers, and Liam tugs on the tie holding the bathrobe closed, and Zayn throws it across the room.
Liam moves farther up the bed, and Zayn follows him, kissing along his jaw and his neck and
then his lips once more.

Just let me have this one thing, okay? Zayn asks. He can tell Liam doesnt get it, doesnt get
whats happening here, but he nods anyways.

He moves down Liams chest slowly, his tongue tracing the thick scar there. He takes extra time
on his abs, because hes always had a thing for them, and he still does. Probably always will. He
kisses the indents of his hips, and scratches his nails over Liams ribs. He kisses over Liams
thighs, and then down his legs. Liam squirms when he gets to his ankles, but Zayn just moves
back up and kisses the insides of his thighs, too, for good measure, because he has a thing for
them as well.

Roll over, Zayn says. Again, he sees Liams confusion. He completely bypassed Liams cock,
but hes not done memorizing Liams body yet.

Liam complies and gets onto his hands and knees, but Zayn pulls him up so that hes kneeling on
the bed instead. He runs his hands over the short bristles of Liams hair, and then kisses the back
of his neck. He traces each of the scars on Liams back with his fingers, first, and then his tongue.
He bites the soft skin at the small of his back, and then gently pushes Liam forward so that hes on
his hands again.

When he drags his tongue down the back of Liams thigh, Liam whimpers softly. He does it to
both legs, nipping gently at the skin occasionally, because he likes Liams reaction. He bites the
fleshy part of Liams ass and smirks when Liam cries out, but he just continues over the skin with
his mouth and teeth and tongue until he gets to Liams hole. He runs the flat of his tongue over it,
and Liam keens and falls forwards onto his forearms. It doesnt take long for Liam to start pushing
back against his tongue, and Zayn pushes it in a bit.

Zayn, Liam says, voice wavering. Please.

Zayn pushes a finger in along with his tongue, and Liams fingers curl into the comforter. Not
long after he pulls back to push in a second finger, until Liam turns to look at him, a frustrated,
wrecked look on his face. Come on, he urges. I need--,

Yeah, Zayn nods. Okay.

He finds the bottle of lube and the condoms easily, and Liam sits there and waits. Zayn puts a
hand on Liams hip and gestures for him to turn back over. He kisses Liam once on the lips before
sliding on the condom and slicking himself up. Normally he would have turned the light off first,
but he doesnt want to.
I do love you, Zayn says softly. Okay? I dont know how the hell it happened, but it did.

Liam nods. Trust me, I know.

Liam is all wide eyes and parted lips when Zayn pushes into him. His fingers dont dig into
Zayns back like they usually do, though, but instead he fists his hands into Zayns hair and pulls
them closer together, so theyre touching chest to chest. Zayn breaths against Liams neck while
Liam wraps his legs around Zayns back, using the position to pull Zayn farther into him.

By the time he pushes himself up a few minutes later, Liams eyes are closed and Zayn has sweat
dripping down his temple. He holds himself up on one hand and wraps a hand around Liam with
the other. Liams eyes open at that, and they hold each others gaze the whole time. Liam comes
with a shudder and Zayn comes while biting Liams shoulder. Theres a mark there, too, but hes
happy about that.

He falls onto Liam after that, blanketing his body, not really caring that theres cum drying
between them. Not for a few minutes, at least, until they both groan and sit up. Zayn heads to the
bathroom and cleans himself off before brining a damp towel in for Liam. He tosses it to the floor
afterwards, and Zayn turns off the light and crawls into bed beside him.

He falls asleep with his head on Liams chest and his leg thrown over Liams thigh, while Liam
rubs gentle circles into his back with his thumb.

--

Zayn moves out. They dont really talk about it, much. The night he fell asleep with Liam was his
last one in the apartment. He spends a week at Louis, which turns into a month, which turns into
a year, when Louis moves into Harrys apartment and Zayn takes over his old room.

He hates living with Eleanor. Shes messy and she watches annoying reality tv shows. Theres
never any coffee left for him in the morning, and she has a habit of putting empty milk cartons
back in the fridge, which makes him miss breakfast a lot.

Its not like he doesnt see Liam. With Harry and Louis getting engaged, he spends a lot of time
with Harry who, in turn, spends a lot of time with Liam. They talk, sometimes, but its never about
important stuff. He never asks about Liams work, or when hes heading out next, and Liam never
offers information on it.

It hurts. He can admit that. Every time he sees him it hurts, because he knows if things had just
been a little different, if he could have just dealt with it, hed fall asleep in Liams arms and hed
wake up to the sound of Liam showering.

He knows that there are millions of families where one member is in the military. They make it
work. Its possible to make it work. He just knows that he cant do it. Hes too young to settle into
that kind of commitment, and he just cant hand his whole life over to Liam, which is what hed
end up doing if hed stayed around.

He dates a bit. Not a lot, and never for long. No one holds his attention. No one smells just right,
or feels like Liam, and so theyre not what he wants. He keeps waiting for it to go away, though.
Keeps waiting for that ball in his stomach that came back full force to loosen, for him to move on.
It just doesnt happen.
Harry and Louis get married during one of the months Liams home. He looks different. His
shoulders are wider, like hes been working out more, and he walks with a limp. His eyes are
tired, but no one comments on that, either.

Zayn gets his teaching degree and gets a job working at a public school where he makes more
than enough to have an apartment of his own. Liam gives him Jessie and Zayn stops buying
shampoo that smells like oranges.

--

Zayn kind of hates his apartment. Its too big, and theres just too much space for him and Jessie.
Hes got two bedrooms, one that he uses for an office, even though its got so much empty space
in it. Its not even a conscious decision, he just starts moving things out of that room one day, and
then two weeks later its empty and hes putting in an ad in the newspaper, looking for a
roommate.

A few people call within the first week, but after he tells them he has a dog, none of them want to
come see the place, so he puts up a different ad, one specifically looking for a responsible male or
female who doesnt mind living with a dog.

Hes out with Louis when the call comes in. Louis buying a new couch because the white one he
and Harry has is so stained with a mixture of different drinks and foods that Louis just cant take it
anymore.

Dont know why youd get a white one in the first place, Zayn points out. I mean, honestly,
look at your husband and tell me why you would even consider getting a white sofa.

Louis glares at him. It fit with the rest of our stuff, he hisses. How was I supposed to know
Harry would get drunk and spill an entire bottle of red wine on it? Zayn raises his eyebrows.
Okay, fine, I should have seen it coming. Shut up.

Im going to get you a sign, Zayn says, as Louis sinks onto a brown leather sofa while making a
face. And its going to say Zayn is always right and Louis should always listen to him and you
can hang it in your front hallway.

And Im going to get you a sign that reads I am a giant fucking prick and were going to attach
a rope to it and hang it around your neck.

Zayn laughs and tries out a black couch with seats that sink in too much. Hes just getting up
when his phone rings. He doesnt recognize the number, but he figures its just someone asking
about the apartment so he holds up a finger to Louis and presses talk. Louis ignores him and
stands up on one of the couches and tests the bounce on it, which earns him a glare from one of
the store employees.

Hello? Zayn says into the phone.

Um, hi, says the man on the other end. Im calling about the roommate ad?

Zayn covers his other ear with his hand so he can hear better, because Louis is now arguing with
the sales person. Awesome! Zayn says enthusiastically. Its still available.

Right, good, the man says. It says you live with a dog?
Yeah, Zayn nods. Most people are a bit hesitant because of it, but I assure you that Jessies a
sweetheart. She sheds a bit though, he admits, because he might as well get that out there now.

Thats fine, I love dogs, the man tells him. Should we set up a time for me to come see it?

Definitely! Zayn says. Any time. The address is listed in the ad, and its apartment fourteen.

Fourteen, the man repeats slowly. Is tomorrow at six okay?

Sounds good, Zayn says.

Okay. Goodbye.

Zayn turns around to find Louis still arguing with the employee. -- going to buy a couch if Im
not positive I can jump on it first. Louis says hotly. What if I bring it home and attempt to jump
on it, and I just sink in through the cushions? Do you not see the dilemma there?

Yes, sir, but--,

He wont jump on anymore, Zayn says, coming up to them. Right, Louis?

Louis glares at him but says, Right. I apologize. It wont happen again.

The man nods, placated, and leaves them to their shopping. He keeps an eye on Louis the whole
time, though.

Louis doesnt get a couch, but Zayn leaves with an armchair. Hes not sure why, because its not
like his couch isnt more than enough for him, but he wants it.

After work the next day, he spends most of his time cleaning the apartment. Not that its a huge
mess, but hes a single male who works full time, and its not exactly spotless. He takes Jessie out
before six, too, just so that she wont be too hyped up when the man comes. Best to have her on
her best behaviour, because shes prone to getting a bit excited when meeting strangers.

At exactly six, someone knocks on the door. Behave, Zayn hisses to Jessie.

Jessie doesnt bark at all at the door, which is weird. Louis always says shes way too smart for a
dog, because she can tell whos at the door just from the sound of them walking down the
hallway. But she normally barks, unless its Niall or Louis or Harry.

Her tag is wagging like crazy when he opens the door, and it hits Zayn repeatedly in the leg, hard.
And when he looks up at the person on the other side of the door, he gets why.

Liam doesnt even say anything. He just walks straight into the apartment and kisses Zayn so hard
his head swims. Ill take it, he says against Zayns lips. I can move in tomorrow. No, I can
move in right now.

Zayn pushes him back and gapes at him, ignoring the fact that he feels warm all over, like hed
just downed half a bottle of vodka and everything was hazy. Liam--,

I got a job, Liam explains, stepping closer to Zayn again. Zayn takes a step back. On the base.
Ill be gone two months out of the year, but never back to back. They dont deploy me. At the
most Ill be two hours away from here at all times, thats it. The rest of the time Ive got a job with
Niall down at the factory. The pay is shit, but I like the work, and its close to home.

Zayn gapes at him, because none of the words coming out of his mouth make any sense. None of
 them, because he cant-- they cant--,

You told me that you wouldnt ask me to stop doing what I love, Liam says, and its like theyre
playing a game of cat and mouse. Liam takes a step forward, Zayn takes one backwards. They
just keep going as he talks. But you did. You walked away from me, and you didnt give me a
chance to let you know that youre what I love. Not my job. I hated my job! I just thought that it
was the only option for me, and I never had any reason to fight for something else. But I do, and I
want to. I want--,

Zayn stops backing up and instead throws himself at Liam, kissing him the same way Liam kissed
him when he walked in the door. It never went away, he says between kisses. I kept waiting
for it to go away, but it wouldnt. I kept loving you, and it just didnt stop.

Good, Liam says against his lips. I dont want it to stop.

Im not giving you the other room, Zayn says firmly.

Liam pulls back, eyes wide. I thought--,

You know what my least favourite thing about living with you was? Zayn asks. Liam shakes
his head, no. We had separate rooms.

I kind of hated that too, Liam admits.

Zayn just grins at him while Jessie sits at their feet, tail wagging. The apartment doesnt feel too
big anymore.

End Notes

I was a little hesitant to post this, because I don't think it's all that good. But I hope you
enjoyed it anyways, and hopefully it wasn't too awful. Thanks for reading! :)

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!