An Emotionally Intelligent Workplace

Posted on Monday, November 18 @ 10:44:33 EST by Editor

Anon writes "Office gossip, aka mobbing, is an indication of an emotionally

unintelligent workplace. It's disruptive to all, harmful to the victim, and a management
risk. Here are some ways to get emotionally intelligent in the office!

For some, it's just static, but it can get out of control, be harmful to the target, and cause
risk for management.

Gossip is a human propensity. Part of being social and being human, is to take an intense
interest in what other's are doing. Some gossip is relatively benign; other forms are
malicious and can run right into slander and liable.

Unchecked, it's not going to go away and can be disruptive to productivity and morale.

THE NATURE OF GOSSIP

"Not every rumor that comes out of the office gossip mill has the power to be ...
damaging," says Ingrid Murro Botero, president of Murro Consulting. "However, even
seemingly casual remarks between coworkers can disrupt an otherwise peaceful office."

Office gossip generally centers around which employees management is dating, and
who’s about to be get fired, transferred, promoted or demoted. Particularly malicious
gossip is used for personal or political gain within the organization. Any form can open
management up to significant liability because employees who perceive themselves in a
hostile environment can go on to assume they're being discriminated against.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

What can management do to curtail this destructive mobbing behavior?

First of all lets look at what makes it probable. It's most likely to occur when employees
are not informed, and when they have too much time on their hands. When something's
going on and management doesn't supply information, people fill in the void with
speculations and assumptions.

It’s also likely to occur is when workers have too much time on their hands. When, as a
kid, I started making trouble for myself and my sisters because I had nothing to do, my
grandmother would give me something constructive to do (a chore, a book to read),
saying, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”

Management must also make it clear that malicious personal gossip is not acceptable. "It
is essential for companies to set appropriate boundaries and a tone of mutual respect,”
says Jane Weizmann, senior consultant at Watson Wyatt Worldwide.
This can be accomplished through Aspiration Statements – not just saying what’s not
acceptable, but by coming out and saying what is expected: dignity and respect. No
exceptions.

Management can also work to build a culture that’s supportive rather than overtly
competitive. Putting proactive emotional intelligence programs (see Susandunn.cc) and
anti-mobbing programs in place show positive intent. To see an excellent pro-respect
statement – the State of Oregon, Dept. of Environment Quality ANTI-MOBBING policy
NO. 50.110.

Coaching and/or counseling should be available for both victim and instigator.

Rumors must be dealt with immediately. Meet with instigator[s] and victim together, or
call the instigator in to confront them. Confront chronic offenders. If you don't know who
they are, you're in denial, because everyone else in the company knows who they are.

One thing to do in your awareness/education program is to ask people to check through

their emails and see if they think they've been gossiping. Unlike the spoken word, email
is documentable.

It's important to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. Written policies and procedures
turn to dust and smoke the first time management fails to confront the problem in
actuality. It's normal to test the limits, and if action isn't taken when stated policy is
transgressed, credibility for that policy goes out the door, and so does credibility about
every other policy.

EI

Innovation. Understanding your creative style coupled with the ability to generate
creative responses to business problems yourself and through others
Self-Awareness. Understanding your strengths and weaknesses coupled with drive to
improve your capability.
Intuition. Using instinct, hunches and feelings along with facts and information to guide
decisions.
Emotions. Recognizing and understanding your feelings and emotions and managing
their impact on other people.
Motivation. Achievement striving, energy, initiative and persistence.
Empathy. Taking an interest in people and listening to their views, problems and
concerns.
Social Skills. Building relationships with people and communicating effectively with
them.

"This lesson was conducted with a first grade class made up of 8 students (4 girls and 4
boys). The class is made up of six and seven year olds of all different backgrounds.
I had the class divide up in pairs into 4 different groups. I had each child think about
his/her history from birth to present. I told the children that they only had one minute to
relate personal autobiographies. I had them share their autobiographies with their partner
and then with the entire group.

RESULTS
When I first announced this assignment, the students all looked at me with blank faces.
They had no idea at all what to talk about. They claimed that their lives were so short that
they did not have much to say.

1. How much are you able to share with others and are you embarrassed to talk about
yourself?
Most girls gladly shared with the class (3 out of 4), whereas only 1 out of 4 boys shared
with the class. This goes to show that girls are more comfortable sharing about
themselves and expressing their feelings.
The girls revealed quite a bit about themselves, whereas the one boy that did share, was
brief and stopped at the middle of his sharing.

2. What thoughts did you hold back as you were saying your autobiography out loud?
We noticed that there was a common theme in every child’s autobiography. The first
child shared about where she grew up and what schools she attended. The other children
copied and chose the same topic.

3. Did you give a well-rounded picture of yourself or did you reveal only the good side?
They only revealed the good side. They said that they did not like to talk about the bad
side in front of a group. Furthermore, a few of the boys in my class that had a rough
childhood growing up chose not to share at all in front of the group. We realized as a
class, that it is a lot easier and more pleasant to talk about the good in our life. I also let
them know that it is also important to share the bad things that happen to us as well so
that we do not bottle up these feelings. "