Writing to Describe

Target: To be able to identify what

makes a descriptive paragraph
Write a List of Adjectives to Describe this Scene
Which Adjectives are Better and Why?
Write a sentence using two of these adjectives
 Match the Terms and Definitions
Terms Definitions
Similes Language that connects to the five
senses to create an image/description
Personification Comparison of one thing with another
kind of a different kind
Metaphor The occurrence of the same letter/sound
at the beginning of closely connected
words
Rule of Three The attribution of human characteristics
to something non-human
Sensory Language A word/phrase is applied to an object to
which it is not literally applicable
Alliteration Things that come in threes are funnier,
more satisfying or more effective than
other numbers
 Match the Terms and Definitions
Terms Definitions
Similes Comparison of one thing with another
thing of a different kind
Personification The attribution of human characteristics
to something non-human
Metaphor A word/phrase is applied to an object to
which it is not literally applicable
Rule of Three Things that come in threes are funnier,
more satisfying or more effective than
other numbers
Sensory Language Language that connects to the five
senses to create an image/description
Alliteration The occurrence of the same letter/sound
at the beginning of closely connected
words
 Descriptive Paragraph
It was a town of red brick, or of brick that would have been red if
the smoke and ashes had allowed it but as matters stood it was
a town of unnatural red and black like the painted face of a
savage. It was a town of machinery and tall chimneys, out of
which interminable serpents of smoke trailed themselves
forever and ever, and never got uncoiled. It had a black canal in
it, and a river that ran purple with ill-smelling dye, arid vast
piles of building full of windows where there was a rattling and
a trembling all day long, and where the piston of the steam-
engine worked monotonously up and down, like the head of an
elephant in a state of melancholy madness. It contained
several large streets all very like one another, and many small
streets still more like one another, inhabited by people equally
like one another, who all went in and out at the same hours,
with the same sound upon the same pavements, to do the
same work, and to whom every day was the same as yesterday
and tomorrow, and every year the counterpart of the last and
the next.
 Identify and Label the Techniques Used
It was a town of red brick, or of brick that would have been red if
the smoke and ashes had allowed it but as matters stood it was
a town of unnatural red and black like the painted face of a
savage. It was a town of machinery and tall chimneys, out of
which interminable serpents of smoke trailed themselves
forever and ever, and never got uncoiled. It had a black canal in
it, and a river that ran purple with ill-smelling dye, arid vast
piles of building full of windows where there was a rattling and
a trembling all day long, and where the piston of the steam-
engine worked monotonously up and down, like the head of an
elephant in a state of melancholy madness. It contained
several large streets all very like one another, and many small
streets still more like one another, inhabited by people equally
like one another, who all went in and out at the same hours,
with the same sound upon the same pavements, to do the
same work, and to whom every day was the same as yesterday
and tomorrow, and every year the counterpart of the last and
the next.
 Extension
Write out two similes to match the haunted
house image

Put these similes into descriptive sentences

 Plenary
Feedback on the paragraph

What features have you identified?

Read out your simile sentences

 Writing to Describe

Target: To be able to improve

sentences that lack description
What is Wrong with this Description?
Rewrite the Paragraph
Sunset happens in the evening. There are
some pretty colours. The sun is going away.
People like looking at it. It gets cold when the
sun goes away.
 Why is this Description Better?
Sunset is the time of day when our sky meets
the outer space solar winds. There are blue,
pink, and purple swirls, spinning and twisting,
like clouds of balloons caught in a blender. The
sun moves slowly to hide behind the line of
horizon, while the moon races to take its place
in prominence atop the night sky. People slow
to a crawl, entranced, fully forgetting the
deeds that still must be done. There is a
coolness, a calmness, when the sun does set.
 Homework
Write a short letter to a friend describing your
best holiday. (You can make it up if you want
to).
Focus on;
A range of adjectives
Use at least four different descriptive techniques
 Pathetic Fallacy Definition
This is when you attribute human emotion
and conduct to all aspects within nature.
For example,
The clouds seem sullen
The leaves dance
The rocks seem indifferent
 Read Chapter 5 of Frankenstein
Go through the
description and highlight
the words/phrases that
relate to mood or the
weather.

Write your own

descriptive paragraph
using the weather to
create mood
EXTENSION: Assess your own work by re-reading it and underlining any adjectives,
similes or descriptions of the weather. Could you include more?
 Peer Assessment
Swap paragraphs with the person next to you.

Write at least three sentences of feedback.

Tell them what they have done well;
What they can improve on; and
How they can improve

You may be asked to read yours to the class

 Writing to Describe
Learning Objective: Revise the use of semi-colons and
colons.
At the end of this lesson, students should be able to
re-write a poem as a descriptive piece of writing.
 Colons
Colons are used:
1. to introduce a list
2. before a long quotation or a speech
3. before a clause to explain a previous statement

For example:
Speaking at Caesars funeral, Anthony addresses the crowd:
Friends, Romans, countrymen
The car has a number of optional extras: sun roof, tinted
windows, rear seat belts, and electrically operated wing
mirrors
The school is highly regarded: academic standards are high,
the staff are pleasant, and the students enjoy going there.
 Practice using Colons
Rewrite the sentences below using colons:
1. The colon a useful punctuation mark.
2. My life had changed for ever. I was going to university.
3. The captive screamed at her captors Youll never get away with
this!
4. There are seven colours in the rainbow red, orange, yellow,
green, blue, indigo and violet.
5. Our remaining opponents for the season are all of the top
teams. Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal and
Newcastle United.
6. My teacher speaks the following languages French, Italian,
Spanish and Chinese.
7. I will have three things on my sandwich ham slices, cheese, and
mayonnaise
 Semi-Colons
Semi-colons are used in the same way as a comma; they are used to
signal a long pause in a sentence. A capital letter is not needed
after a semi-colon. Students targeting the higher levels should be
able to use semi-colons confidently.

Semi-colons are used:

to separate two sentences that are related to group words
(clauses) together in a list

For example:
The expedition may be on or off; it all depends on the weather.
Four objects lay on the desk: a large book; a spiral-bound
notepad; a glass vase containing flowers; and a silver propelling
pencil.
 Practice using Semi-Colons
Rewrite the sentences below using semicolons. Remember that semi
colons replace joining words, commas, capital letters and full stops.

George ran into the shed because it was raining.

Sammy likes hamburgers but I like fish and chips.
The car screeched to a halt. The fox managed to escape.
Losing money is careless but stealing it is criminal.
Julius Caesar famously said: I came, I saw, I conquered.
I bought apples bananas pears and plums at the supermarket.
In order to ride a horse, you need the following equipment: a helmet, a
saddle, stirrups and a halter with reins.
My lessons at school today are: Maths Science English History and P.E.
Make a list of items and use semicolons to separate them.
 Reading of I Love a Sunburnt
Country
What is the meaning of the poem?

Rewrite this poem as a descriptive piece, using

what you have learnt last lesson. Aim to include
colons and semi-colons

EXT: Read your work and highlight verbs, adjectives

and adverbs using different colours
 Plenary
Lets share

Can you identify the techniques other students

have used?
Writing to Review
Learning Objective: To explain what the function of a
review is
To identify the techniques used in review writing
 Sentence Structure

SIMPLE
A simple sentence has a subject and ONLY ONE verb:
The cat purred.

COMPOUND
A compound sentence is formed when you join two main clauses with a connective. In
a compound sentence the clauses are linked by coordinating conjunctions /
connectives (and, but, so, or).
I like bananas and I like grapes.

COMPLEX
A complex sentence is formed when you join a main clause and a subordinate
clause with a connective. A subordinate clause is one that relies on a main clause to
make sense.
I love roast potatoes, although my mum prefers them mashed.

TASK: Create your own examples for a simple sentence, compound sentence
and complex sentence
What is the purpose/function
of writing to review?
What are the techniques of
writing to review?
 Reading a Film Review:
Twilight
What opinions have been presented in the review?

What writing features have been used in the review?

What would a counter-review of Twilight include?

TASK: Write a paragraph of a counter-review

You need to consider;
Your word choice/phrases that could be used
Varying sentence structure for effect
Peer Assessment

What has been done well?

What could be improved on?

Would anyone like to share?

Writing to Review
Learning Objective
 Brackets (Parentheses)
Brackets are used:
1. to add information to a sentence that will give
greater detail to the information presented
2. to state the full name of an abbreviation
3. to provide a citation of a text

For example:
Mollys jumper was pink (bright pink) with a blue stripe.
The RSPCA (The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals) are desperate for people to re-home the homeless
animals in their care.
 Parentheses Practice
Rewrite the below sentences/paragraph
Ellie my older sister lives in Manchester.
Jupiter the largest planet is made of gas
The twins Ben and Billy have just played their first
football match
The ambulance which had sirens blaring and lights
flashing moved swiftly through the traffic
The student who was new to the school got lost to her
first lesson
Denver and Max Denvers cousin went to the shopping
centre. They had 10 in pound coins between them.
Max was hungry he hadnt eaten all day so he bought a
sandwich with halloumi a type of cheese to eat.
 Lets Watch a Movie
While watching, you will need to make notes on;
The setting
The characters introduced
The special effects
Any other interesting features
Initial impressions
In pairs, share your notes
What was your opinion of the opening?

Is this an effective opening to the film? Why/why

not?
 A Model Film Review Why is it
good?
On his eleventh birthday, orphan Harry Potter discovers that
he's a wizard, so off he goes to Hogwarts School to learn the
ways of the wand. But it isn't all lessons and making friends:
Harry is destined for a showdown with the evil Lord
Voldemort.
Sometimes the best plan is to do things by the book. With
over 100 million Harry Potter readers desperate to rush down
cinema aisles to see their hero on the big screen for the first
time, you can't blame Chris Columbus for sticking close to J.K.
Rowling's novel. It's one thing to let your imagination loose
with the words on the page; it's another to have those images
backed up by a multi-million dollar Hollywood budget. And
from the very first sight of an owl perched on the Privet Drive
road sign to the closing shot of the Hogwarts Express pulling
away from the station with the majestic school sitting high on
the hills behind, we know that every golden galleon has been
well spent.
 A Model Film Review Why is it
good?
That's why this faithful adaptation won't fail to win over the book's
fans with its 'wow' factor. It thrives on audience recognition. John
Williams' score swells at the key moments - Here's your first
glimpse of Hogwarts! Isn't Diagon Alley crammed with Dickensian
detail! - as Columbus pulls back curtain after curtain to reveal all of
the avid readers' favourite bits. The stand-out sequence is the
Gryffindor versus Slytherin Quidditch match, a fast-paced medieval
Rollerball with broomsticks. It soars.
Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone has one advantage over
so many other blockbusters: it already knows that it's the first in a
series, so it doesn't have to become a self-contained hit movie
before its sequels can receive the green light. This means it
deliberately takes its time setting up the characters and the
scenario before, like the book, pulling in a quest-cum-whodunnit
plot to provide a climax. This structure is fine for the initiated, but it
might leave first-timers feeling a bit uncomfortable with the shape
of the movie. And because it's more of a kids film than the book
was just a kids book, the two-and-a-half hour running time is bound
to provoke some cinema squirming from young viewers.
 A Model Film Review Why is it
good?
That said, Columbus ensures there's a bit of on-screen magic
coming our way every couple of minutes, and not just in the shape
of expensive effects. Near-perfect casting ensures character colour
from the adult actors and allows the central trio of kids (Radcliffe,
Grint and Watson) to prove that three heads are better than one
(unless your name is Fluffy).
Coltrane as cuddly giant Hagrid and Grint as Harry's cheeky chum,
Ron, steal some scenes, but it's Radcliffe who leads us through
Harry's journey from open-jawed underdog to pint-sized hero.
Sympathetic and strong, brave and believably ordinary, he becomes
the audience's counterpart in this weird world of witches and
wizards.
Even though a few of the book's scenes have been cut, fans
probably couldn't hope for a better adaptation. It bodes well for the
rest of the series, when strong stories start taking precedence over
set-up.
Write the Opening Paragraphs of
your own Review
Writing to Review
Learning Objective:
Practice review writing
Which would you choose? Why?
Apple HTC
Blackberry LG
Samsung Sony Ericsson
Sony Motorola
Nokia/Microsoft Sony

Which phone is better?

What features does it have to make it better?
Which would you choose? Why?
Apple HTC
Blackberry LG
Samsung Sony Ericsson
Sony Motorola
Nokia/Microsoft Sony

Which phone is better?

What features does it have to make it better?
 Today, You will be Reviewing an
Object of Your Choice
How to set out a Review:
What is the object? What are their features?
Strengths
Weaknesses
Draw a conclusion what is your opinion?
Writing to Explain
 Make a List of the
Features of Writing to Explain
If you explain, the writing tends to be about
facts and reasons, so you'd write about why
or how something happened.
What? When? Who? Where? How? Why?

You can ask yourself:

Is the writing formal or informal?
Is it chatty or serious?
What vocabulary choices have been made?
What types of sentences have been used?
What language techniques have been used?
Think of an Example of a Text that
is Written to Explain
 Activity: Hobbies
Many people have hobbies.

Your TASK today is to write about one of your

hobbies, explaining what it involves and what it
means to you.
 Breakdown of the Question
What is your hobby?
What does your hobby involve? What do you have
to do?
What does your hobby mean to you? Why do you
do this hobby?

In pairs, discuss the above questions

 - Reading -
What Techniques can you See?
My favourite hobby is reading. Whenever I have free time I
like to read. I was four years old when I learnt to read. From
the beginning I found it interesting, so I have kept reading. My
teachers would help me with the difficult words. I like stories
with happy endings but my favourite genre is detective
stories. I enjoy reading because I like to explore the
imaginative world of my favourite author, J.K.Rowling who
writes Harry Potter .
There are a lot of advantages of reading. Reading can make
you feel relaxed and calm. You can also learn new vocabulary
items and improve your English skills. Moreover, it can give
allows an unlimited imagination, so I can imagine different
scenes and maybe write my own book one day. I can learn
about the different cultures and customs of other countries in
the world too. I try to read at least one hour every day, on the
train and before I go to sleep.
 - Gardening -
What Techniques can you See?
Everyone has a favorite hobby. Some people like
gardening. Others like painting. My favorite hobby is
gardening. I like gardening because it gives me
pleasure and removes me from the monotony of
everyday life. When I feel tired, I go into the garden
to dig the soil and water the plans. There are many
different types of vegetables in my garden. I use
them to make homemade soup and invite my friends
round for lunch to enjoy it. Sometimes my
neighbours steal my flowers, which are very colourful
and pretty.
 Begin Writing About your own
Hobby
Your TASK today is to write about one of your
hobbies, explaining what it involves and what it
means to you.

BREAKDOWN OF THE TASK:

What is your hobby?
What does your hobby involve? What do you have to
do?
What does your hobby mean to you? Why do you do
this hobby?
Compare to the Sample Response
Have you included similar features?

Peer assess to identify the features you have used

Writing to Explain 2
 Useful Techniques
Topic broken down
Factual language
Balanced view
Evidence to support
Third or first person
Past or present tense
Connectives of comparison. E.g. whereas, though,
while, unless, equally, however.
Why are These Sentences Boring?
How can We Improve Them?
The band played.
The police searched the park.
The witch climbed onto her broom.
The footballer kicked the ball.
The man walked up the hill.
The cat walked along the wall.
 Sophisticated Sentence Starters
Momentarily, Strangely enough
Before I could see/hear/smell etc.
Without a second to lose Black smoke poured from...
Until now Terror consumed me...
Astonishingly Icy air assaulted my ears...
From nowhere Sobbing, I clutched...
Somewhat alarmingly Hating every second, I...
In a moment of panic Beating the door, he...
Yet Unusually Gripped by panic, I...
At the end Annoyed by the constant
Without warning dripping sound, I...
 Example
I want to know what the problem is. There is a
problem with the oven. The gas doesnt work. It makes
a hissing sound. The hobs dont work all at once.
There is something wrong with them. I have to get my
food cold most nights. Maybe there is something
wrong with the gas in the kitchen? The hobs do not
work properly. I dont know why.
 Example
Faulty oven - There appears to be a problem with the gas supply to the
recently fitted oven in the kitchen.
The gas hobs - These generally work okay when only one or two are used at
once, however if you use all four hobs, they tend to spit and crackle, creating
a health and safety risk. I have tried several different combinations in an
effort to get the cooker to work effectively but every time I try something I
end up getting burnt. This actually means that some food ends up being
eaten cold, as it is impossible to cook everything simultaneously.
The gas oven - Another problem is the oven itself. It seems as if there isn't
enough gas getting through the pipes. When it is first lit, the hissing sound of
the gas is quite loud, whereas when it has been on for 15 minutes or more
the hissing dies down and it sounds like it is about to go out. You can see the
obvious concerns with gas leaking if the flame goes out.
The solution - I would appreciate a written report of the problem and would
either like the oven fixed or a replacement oven brought in before the end
of the week.
 Comparing Examples
Which paragraph is more effective and why?

What features do they use successfully?

Write two paragraphs explaining what is wrong

with your ___________ and what you would like to
see happen
Writing to Explain 3
Complete the Table by Listing all
the Key Features For
Writing to Writing to Writing to
Describe Review Explain
 What are the Negative Effects of
Modern Technology on School
Children?
Write one paragraph for each of the following;
Describing the effects
Reviewing the effects
Explaining the effects

Include as many features in each paragraph

as you can
Self-assess your work. Underline what
features you have used in each paragraph
 Sharing Our Answers
Try to identify the features that have been used.

Guess which triplet is being read aloud