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The Eager Beavers and Mr.

Oldkool

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful class of very hard-working and well-
educated boys and girls in an amazing school in a far, far, far away fairytale
land. Definitely not couch potatoes, these boys and girls were, in fact, full of
beans. Their teacher, Mr. Oldkool, admired them, however, for their hard
work and often called them his eager beavers. The eager beavers loved to
learn. They spelled, they read and they wrote. They added, they subtracted and
they multiplied. When Mr. Oldkool told them about a new and fascinating
subject, like the apple snail, they were all ears. When he gave them assignments
to do, they took them home eagerly and were as busy as bees. One day, Mr.
Oldkool surprised the eager beavers with a math test. It was 10 pages long and
had the most difficult questions on it that you could imagine. He handed out
the test papers and told the boys and girls to put their thinking caps on.
Break a leg he said to the students as he walked back to his desk and started
working on another lesson plan on the fascinating world of the apple snail.
Looking at the math tests, the childrens faces, surprisingly, did not look
troubled. Remaining cool as a cucumber, they picked up their pencils and went
to work. It turned out that all of the eager beavers passed the test and, for
some, it was even a piece of cake. To celebrate, the kids got to watch a two-
hour movie on the apple snail as an aquarium pet. Who would have thought
that their hard work would pay off so well and that apple snails could be as big
as 15 cm in diameter? The answer to that question would have to be: Mr.
Oldkool.

Full of Herself

My grandmother on my father's side was a waitress at a cafe in Norway when she


caught the eye of my grandfather. He came to her cafe every day, but instead of
falling for him, she decided he was full of himself because he liked to wear fancy
clothes. She knew he liked her, but he rubbed her the wrong way. Over time, his visits
got on her nerves.

One day, she decided to put water in the seat where he always sat. When he arrived
for his morning coffee, she smiled at him, and he thought things were looking up. But
then he sat down and was mortified. He steered clear of her after that. She thought
her joke had done the trick, but strangely enough, the two would meet again in
America.
A horror story

A MAN who is driving from the capital city to his hometown decides not to
take the highway as he wants to enjoy the varied scenery along the old road.

When he reaches the hills, his car breaks down. Thinking that the nearest
town is too far away to reach on foot, he stands on the road shoulder to try
to get a lift from a kind soul.

Three minutes later, he sees a boxy red car coming towards him. Its driver
is burning rubber and does not stop the vehicle. He stamps his foot
impatiently.

All at once, the clouds darken and it rains buckets. As dusk falls, the
growing darkness invests the wind and rain with new horrors for the
hapless man.

A rusty navy blue jalopy is now coming towards him. It slows to a crawl and
stops next to him. He opens the back door, jumps in, and leans forward to
thank his saviour but there is no one at the wheel.

Although the car is driverless and its engine is not running, it somehow
starts to move again. The man, who is scared out of his wits, looks at the
road ahead and sees a bend. Then the unexpected happens. Just before the
car hits the curve, a hairy hand appears through the window and slowly
turns the steering wheel anticlockwise. The car easily negotiates the curve,
much to the relief of its sole occupant.

Looking as pale as death, the man watches unblinkingly as the hand


appears several times at the critical moment to prevent the car from
plunging into a ravine.

Shivering more from fright than from the cold, the man presses his hands
together and starts to pray: Dear God, Ive sinned all my life. I drink
heavily, I cheat at gambling, and I betray my friends. If you spare me, I
promise never to

And then he sees a blaze of bright lights a short distance away. Heart
racing, he wrenches the door open, scrambles out, and runs for dear life
towards the lights. This is a townlet, he says softly to himself.
He is out of breath when he stumbles into a coffee shop, where he orders a
cup of beverage to ease his nervousness. After finishing his drink, he
decides to relate his horrible ordeal to the coffee shop proprietor.

As he is telling his story, two thickset men wearing leather jackets and
peaked caps trudge into the coffee shop. The taller one nudges the other in
the ribs and says, See that man over there whose clothes are all wet? Im
going to knock the stuffing out of him!

Why? What did he do?

Cap in hand and fury in his eyes, the gargantuan fellow cries, Thats the
chucklehead who got into our car while we were pushing it!

Ghost Stories

Following on from the Halloween blog earlier this week and in preparation
for the SGI Halloween party, I thought it would be interesting to start my
class with a scary theme today, so I asked my students if they had ever seen
a ghost. It was certainly a far cry from what I would usually ask e.g. Did
you have a nice evening / weekend? and it did help break the ice for some
newer students. Unsurprisingly, not many students believe in or had seen a
ghost. However, here are a few of the stories from the ones who had:
Student 1: When I was 12 years old, I went on a camping trip with my
school that was in the middle of nowhere. We were told to keep an eye out
for 10 ghosts (fake ones), which the school had set up around the area. But I
counted 11. The extra one was real. I remember it clearly; it was of an old
mans head with a long white beard, and it was on top of a hill. He was
smiling at me so I wasnt scared, and there was a bright light coming from
behind him. Nobody else saw it, but I will always remember his kind smile.
Student 2: My parents and I were driving along a country road one night. I
was in the back seat sleeping like a log when I was suddenly awoken by my
dad braking hard followed by a loud thud. He and my mother were
panicking because they said that a little girl had appeared on the road out of
the blue and they had hit her. They got out of the car but there was nothing
no child and no damage to the car. At first I thought they were pulling my
leg but I could see that they were both scared stiff. So I never saw the ghost
but I believe that they did. I later found out that a girl was run over about
10 years before and that her ghost can now be seen quite often. Student 3: I
never saw one, but did feel the presence. When I was at school I had a
friend who lived in a house which was haunted. He had a pet bird that
would go crazy during the night, like someone was rattling its cage. Also his
dog would always look up at the ceiling, like it could hear someone walking
in the attic. I always took what he said with a pinch of salt until I stayed
over one night. His parents were out and we were playing computer games
when his dog started barking loudly towards the kitchen. Nobody was in
there, but then all of sudden we heard footsteps coming from above. At that
point we both felt cold, like someone had walked passed us who was made
of ice. That was the one and only time I stayed at his place. Personally, Ive
never seen a ghost and Im a very sceptical person. That doesnt mean I
dont believe these students, but I do think that theres a perfectly logical
explanation for these incidents. I love horror and ghost films, so seeing a
ghost would actually make my day - as the saying goes seeing is believing!
If you've ever seen a ghost, please tell us the story in the comments section
below.

Odd Man Out

I recently watched a documentary called Odd Man Out. It was about a man named
Bob who decided to live out of his suitcase. Bob had a little money socked away, so he
didn't have to live from hand to mouth. I found the reasons for his decision to throw
in the towel and become free as a bird compelling. In any case, Bob had been working
for over twenty years for a corporation. While he had been successful at his job, and
had made plenty of hay while the sun was shining, he still felt he was tilting at
windmills. "I mean," he said to himself "how hard can it be to strike out on your own
and live off the fat of the land?" The more he pondered the idea the more he came to
realize that he wasn't able to see the forest for the trees.

Certainly, he never questioned the powers that be, but he did wonder if things might
be a bit more interesting if he gave living by the seat of his pants a go.

Bob was very careful not to let on what he was thinking to anyone until he got all his
ducks in a row. He knew that such a decision couldn't be made on the spur of a
moment. Things could go terribly wrong in the twinkling of an eye. "No," he thought
to himself "I need a plan." It was then he remembered his grandfather Bill. Bill was
salt of the earth. He never cared too much for the "finer things in life", as he liked to
call them. Bill repeatedly told Bob that tagging along with everyone else would
eventually get boring. Bill made his living as a jack-of-all-trades. Sure, he never had
money to burn, but he managed to get by. More importantly, Bill was content, and
never worried about what others were saying or who he had to impress to get
promoted. In any case, these memories of Bill came flooding back as Bob began to to
prepare to get a new lease on life.

Finally, the big day arrived and Bob announced that he was stepping down as
manager. His colleagues were incredulous: "How can you throw all you've worked for
down the drain?" they commented. "He's lost his marbles" commented others.
However, Bob was in the the prime of life and he was ready for adventure. He walked
out the door and never looked back. Who knows where he is and what he's doing
today, but my guess is that he's happy - if not wealthy.

An Unpleasant Colleague

Tim was one of the least liked people at work. That wasn't always the case, but, over
time, he became the one person everyone in the office tried to avoid. Of course, there
was a reason for this. In fact, there were many reasons. Most importantly, Tim wasn't
liked because he had won the rat race. He was number one and people were jealous -
pure and simple. Still, it's important to remember that even the high man on the
totem pole may have days on which they're in bad sorts. That was true last week and,
as you can imagine, his colleagues were more than happy to thumb their nose at him.

It all started when Peter ruffled Tim's feathers by announcing a drop in sales. Tim
felt Peter had let things slide and therefore sales had decreased. Of course, this
rubbed Peter in the wrong way. In fact, he stirred up the hornet's nest by blaming
Tim for having ridden roughshod over the sales force. They, in turn, had reacted
badly and not worked hard enough. Peter claimed that the sales force would never
bite the hand that feeds it. They continued to argue for some time and soon everyone
was involved.

Sales is an essential part of any business, and there are cycles when sales are up and
sales are down. Still, it is never a good idea to wash your dirty linen in public, but
Tim was angry at Peter and was in bad sorts. Tim accused Peter of passing the buck
and then started to list all the things Peter had supposedly done wrong.
Unfortunately for Tim, Peter had a number of the sales force on his side. They backed
him up and complained of Tim's continual pressuring tone. In the end, Tim had to
eat humble pie and everyone returned to their desk with a slight smile on their face.

Cinderella

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl named Cinderella. She lived with her
wicked stepmother and two stepsisters. They treated Cinderella very badly. One day,
on short notice, they were invited for a grand ball in the kings palace. The king was
the big wheel in the land. But Cinderellas stepmother would not let her go and said
that she was being sassy to even think that she could measure up to someone who
could go to a grand ball. Cinderella was made to sew new party gowns for her
stepmother and stepsisters, and curl their hair and everyone was in a tizzy getting
ready for the ball. They went to the ball, leaving Cinderella alone at home. What a
drag that was, and Cinderella felt like a sad sack and began to cry. Suddenly, a fairy
godmother who had a hidden agenda, appeared and said, Dont cry, Cinderella! I
will send you to the ball! But Cinderella was sad. She said, Get serious, I dont have
a gown to wear for the ball! The fairy godmother had an ace in the whole, a magic
wand! She said," You are under my care now," and waved her magic wand and
changed Cinderellas old clothes into a beautiful new gown! The fairy godmother
then touched Cinderellas feet with the magic wand. And lo! She had beautiful glass
slippers! How will I go to the grand ball? asked Cinderella. The fairy godmother
found six mice playing near a pumpkin, in the kitchen. She touched them with her
magic wand and the mice became four shiny black horses and two coachmen and the
pumpkin turned into a golden coach. No tin Lizzie for Cinderella, she was going to
the ball in style. Cinderella was overjoyed and set off for the ball in the coach drawn
by the six black horses. Before leaving. the fairy godmother said, Cinderella, this
magic will only last until midnight! You must reach home by then! You must keep
under wraps how you got these fine clothes. When Cinderella entered the palace,
everybody was struck by her beauty. Nobody, not even Cinderellas stepmother or
stepsisters, knew who she really was in her pretty clothes and shoes. The handsome
prince also saw her and fell in love with Cinderella. He went to her and asked, Do
you want to dance? And Cinderella said, Yes! The prince danced with her all night
and nobody recognized the beautiful dancer. Cinderella was having a blast dancing
with the prince that she almost forgot what the fairy godmother had said. At the last
moment, Cinderella remembered her fairy godmothers words and she rushed to go
home. Oh! I must go! she cried and ran out of the palace. One of her glass slippers
came off but Cinderella did not turn back for it. She reached home just as the clock
struck twelve. Her coach turned back into a pumpkin, the horses into mice and her
fine ball gown into rags. Cinderella was back to square one, in rags again. Her
stepmother and stepsisters reached home shortly after that. They were talking about
the beautiful lady who had been dancing with the prince. The prince had fallen in
love with Cinderella and longed for the beautiful girl, but he did not even know her
name. He found the glass slipper that had come off Cinderellas foot as she ran home.
The prince said, I will find her. The lady whose foot fits this slipper will be the one I
marry! The next day, the prince and his servants took the glass slipper and dropped
in on all the houses in the kingdom. They wanted to find the lady whose feet would fit
in the slipper. All the women in the kingdom wanted to have first crack at the slipper
but it would not fit any of them. Cinderellas stepsisters also tried on the little glass
slipper. They tried to squeeze their feet and push hard into the slipper, but the
servant was afraid the slipper would break. Cinderella asked if she could try on the
slipper and her stepmother told her to hold your tongue and would not let her try the
slipper on, but the prince saw her and he wouldn't let up on his search and said, Let
her also try on the slipper! The slipper fit her perfectly. The prince recognized her
from the ball. He married Cinderella and she put down roots in the palace where the
balance of power between her stepmother and her stepsisters changed. She was now
a queen, and Cinderella felt her stepmother and stepsisters could eat their hearts out.
Cinderella and the King lived happily ever after.

Hansel and Gretel


Hansel and Gretel Hansel and Gretel are children whose father is a Woodcutter who chops
down trees to for his bread and butter. When he wasn't making much money, the
woodcutter's nasty second wife talks him into taking the children into the woods and leave
them there, so that she and her husband will not starve. The woodcutter at first opposes the
plan and tells his wife to shut her trap, but finally and agrees to his wife's plan. Hansel and
Gretel had overheard their plans but thought that talk was cheap. After their paremts had
gone to bed, Hansel sneaks out of the house and gathers a pile of white pebbles and puts
them in his back pack.

The next day, the family walks deep into the woods, the parents kept telling Hansel and
Gretel to hurry up but Hansel lays a trail of white pebbles under their noses. After their
parents who were partners in crime , leave them, the children wait for the moon to rise
before following the pebbles back home. When Hansel couldn't see the pebbles in the dark he
would ask Gretel to bring a fresh pair of eyes to find the next pebble. They return home
safely, much to their stepmother's frustration who thought she had got them out of her hair .
Once again, the stepmother says to her husband wake up and smell the coffee , that they
didn't have any food and orders her husband to take the children farther into the woods and
leave them there to starve. Hansel and Gretel attempt to leave the house to gather more
pebbles, but find the doors locked and escape impossible.

The following morning, the family goes back into the woods. This time Hansel takes a slice of
bread and leaves a trail of bread crumbs to follow home. Gretel urges him to keep it up.
However, once they are again abandoned, the children find that birds have eaten the crumbs
and they are lost in the woods.

After days of wandering, they discover a cottage built of bread and cakes, with windowpanes
of sugar. Hungry and tired, the children fill up and begin to eat parts of the house when the
door opens. An old woman, leaning on a crutch, comes out and tells them to feel free to come
inside, offering them dinner and cozy beds. The children do not know that this woman is a
bloodthirsty witch, who built her house of goodies had a hidden agenda to lure children to
her so she may fatten them, then cook and eat them.

The following morning the witch locks Hansel in a cage, and forces Gretel to be her slave.
The witch feeds Hansel everything he wants to fatten him up. Because she is half-blind she
demands that Hansel offer his finger for her to examine, but he cleverly covers up by giving
her a bone instead. She is fooled into thinking Hansel is still too thin to eat. After four weeks
of this, the witch decides to eat Hansel anyway.

The witch prepares the oven for Hansel, but decides to kill Gretel as well. She coaxes Gretel
to open the oven and asks her to lean over in front of the oven to see whether the fire is hot
enough. Sensing what the witch's wanted to do, Gretel not wanting to play fair, pretends that
she does not understand what she is being told to do. So the witch demonstrates, which was
a slip up, because Gretel instantly shoves her into the oven and slams the door and used the
thing-a-ma-jig to keep the door shut. Gretel frees Hansel, and the pair discover chests of hot
goods. Taking the jewels with them, they set off for home. Nobody cried their eyes out over
the death of the witch.

Their father is overjoyed to find Hansel and Gretel alive, and tells them that they had lost a
family member and their stepmother has died. The family is now rich, thanks to the witch's
treasure of hot goods, and they live happily ever after.

Sleeping Beauty
Long ago there lived a King and Queen who wanted to have a child. One day, as the Queen
was bathing in a pond a frog crept out of the water and said to her, "You will have a child"
and since frogs are such magical creatures, in a bit the Queen had a baby girl. The King was
so happy he prepared a great feast and invited all his friends, family and neighbours. He
invited the fairies, too, but one of the fairies was left out of the celebration. No one was upset
because this fairy was in every ones bad books because she was mean and not in step with all
of the other fairies who were kind and generous. An wonderful feast was held (which almost
put the King in the hole) and at the end of the feast, each of the fairies presented the child
with a gift. One fairy gave her virtue, another beauty, a third riches and in brief she got a lot
of great gifts. When all but one of the gifts were given, the fairy who had not been invited
appeared and said, "When she is fifteen years old, the Princess will prick herself with a
spindle and die!" The guests were upset and the Queen was sobbing. The twelfth fairy,
decided to use her magic to soften the curse said, "Your daughter shall not die, but instead
she and all around her will fall into a deep sleep of one hundred years." In time, the promises
of the fairies came true -- one by one. The Princess grew to be beautiful, modest and kind.
Everyone who saw her loved her and she was part of the in crowd. The King and Queen were
in a bad way worrying about the curse. The King and Queen said that all the spindles in the
whole kingdom should be destroyed. Everyone in the kingdom were in cahoots with the King
and Queen and no one told the Princess about the curse because they did not want in the
King's bad books and possibly placed in stir. On the morning of her fifteenth birthday, the
Princess woke early because she was so excited but she wasn't in tune with everyone else who
were all still asleep. The Princess roamed the castle and at last she came to tower that she
had never seen. She opened a door. In a little room an old woman with a spindle, was
spinning her flax. The old woman had been deaf for a coon's age and never heard the King's
command because the King had not put it in writing, that all spindles should be destroyed.
"Good morning, Granny," said the Princess, "what are you doing?" "I am spinning," said the
old woman. "What is this thing that whirls round ?" asked the Princess and she took the
spindle and tried to spin too . But once she had the spindle in hand it pricked her finger. She
fell into a deep sleep. The King, Queen, servants, the horses, the dogs, the doves and in brief
everything, even the flies on the wall fell asleep. Round the castle a hedge of thorny roses
began to grow up until at last nothing could be seen of the sleeping castle which was in a bad
way. Over the years, everyone came to know the legend about the lovely Sleeping Beauty.
From time to time Princes came and tried to force their way through the hedge and into the
castle but they all left in a snip when they found the thorns would not let them through. After
a coon's age a Prince came again to the country and heard the tale of the story of the
beautiful Princess who had slept for a hundred years. He heard also that many Princes had
tried to make it through the brier hedge but none had succeeded and many had been caught
in it and died or were now in the gutter. The the young Prince said, "I am not afraid. I must
go and see this Sleeping Beauty." The hundred years had just ended and the curse was no
longer in control. When the Prince approached the brier hedge the shrubs parted and let him
through. In the courtyard, the Prince saw the horses and dogs lying asleep and also on the
roof the sleeping doves had their heads tucked under their wings. In brief the whole castle
was still asleep. Near the throne lay the King and Queen, remained in place sleeping beside
each other. The Prince went on farther. At last he reached the tower and opened the door
into the little room where the Princess was asleep. He bent down and gave her a kiss. As he
touched her, Sleeping Beauty opened her eyes and smiled up at him. Throughout the castle,
everyone and everything woke up. In brief within the month, the Prince and Sleeping Beauty
were married and lived happily all their lives. The bad fairy was still in in a rut because for a
hundred years she remained mean. She is still in everyone's bad books for keeping the
Princess asleep for a coon's age.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs


At the beginning of the story, a queen who was born with a silver spoon, says to herself,
"How I wish that I had a daughter that had skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and
hair as black as ebony." Some time later, the queen gives birth to a baby daughter who she
names Snow White. It was curtains for this queen as she died shortly after giving birth.

Snow White's father, the king, remarries a very beautiful, but a wicked and vain woman. The
new queen owns a magic mirror, which she asks every morning, " Magic mirror in my hand,
who is the fairest in the land?" The mirror always replies: " My queen, you are the fairest in
the land." The queen is always pleased with that, because the magic mirror never lies. But as
Snow White grows up, she becomes more beautiful each day and even more beautiful than
the queen, and when the queen asks her mirror, it says; " My queen, you are the fairest here
so true. But Snow White is a thousand times more beautiful than you." This blew her mind
and it was a very big deal to the queen. It was written all over her face that she was envious,
and from that moment on, her heart turns against Snow White, and the queen hates the girl
more and more. Eventually, the angry queen with her sharp tongue orders a huntsman to
take Snow White into the woods to be killed. The huntsman who was down to earth takes
Snow White into the forest. After raising his knife, he says, " I'm not a hit man" and was
unable to kill her because he was a good egg. So it turned out it wasn't curtains for her after
all. Snow White is told that her stepmother wants her dead but as far as the huntsman was
concerned, the queen could let George do it. He told her and to get far away from the
kingdom as possible. After being on the run and wandering through the forest, Snow White
discovers a tiny cottage belonging to a group of seven dwarfs (this was the original group of
seven). Since no one is at home, she eats some of the tiny meals (yuk), drinks some of their
rot gut wine, and then tests all the beds. Finally, the last bed is comfortable enough for her
and she falls asleep. When the dwarfs return home, they immediately become aware that
someone snuck in secretly, because everything in their home is in messy. During their loud
discussion where they made a mountain out of a mole hill, they discover the sleeping Snow
White. She wakes up and explains to them what happened, and the dwarfs take pity on her
and let her stay with them. They warn her to be careful and they would keep it on the QT that
she was there and would check up on her. Meanwhile, the queen asks her mirror once again:
" Magic mirror in my hand, who is the fairest in the land?" The mirror replies: " My queen,
you are the fairest here so true. But Snow White beyond the mountains at the Seven Dwarfs
is a thousand times more beautiful than you" . The queen is horrified to learn that the
huntsman has not killed Snow White and she says that the huntsman is a marked man. She
says, " over my dead body will she remain alive. I'll make certain that it is curtains for her!"
She plans the removal of Snow White, then disguises herself as an old peddler. The queen
then walks to the cottage of the seven dwarfs and offers her colorful, silky laced bodices and
convinces Snow White to take the most beautiful as a present. Then the queen, who was a
real crack pot aces her up so tightly that Snow White faints, and the queen left her for dead.
But the dwarfs return just in time, and seeing that Snow White was in a bad way, loosen the
laces and Snow White recovers.

The queen then consults her magic mirror again, and the mirror reveals that it wasn't
curtains for Snow White. Now really upset, the queen goes to plan B and dresses as a comb
seller (the queen liked to play make believe and convinces Snow White to take a beautiful
comb as a present. She brushes Snow White's hair with the poisoned comb and the girl faints
again. She is again rescued by the dwarfs when they remove the comb from her hair. The
magic mirror tells the queen that Snow White is still " a thousand times more beautiful" . The
queen went through the roof and made a third and final attempt to rid herself of Snow
White. The queen decides to play dirty and makes a poisoned apple. Disguised as a farmer's
wife, she offers it to Snow White. The girl who by now was afraid of being a suckerdid not
want to accept it, so the queen cuts the apple in half, eating the white (harmless) half and
said, " yum" and offered the red poisoned half to Snow White. The girl caved in takes a bite
and falls into a deep sleep. This time the dwarfs found it hard to swallow as they are unable
to revive Snow White. Assuming that it was curtains for her, they place her in a glass casket.

A prince traveling through the land sees Snow White in her coffin and instantly falls in love
with her. The moment he lifts the coffin to carry it away, the piece of poisoned apple falls
from between her lips and Snow White awakens saying " Hold on ,where am I?" The Prince
then declares his love for her and soon a wedding is planned. Snow White and the prince
invite everyone in her family tree to come to their wedding party, including Snow White's
stepmother. Meanwhile, the queen, still believing that Snow White is dead, again asks her
magic mirror who is the fairest in the land. The mirror says: " Thou, lady, art loveliest here, I
ween; but lovelier far is the new-made queen" . This blew her mind so she decides to go to
the wedding to look up who this beauty was. Not knowing that the Prince's bride was her
own stepdaughter, she arrives at the wedding and sees that the bride is Snow White, who she
had killed. She went crackers, falls down, and this time it was end of the line (curtains) for
her. Snow White and the prince reign happily and had a life that was out of this world.

Little Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little country girl, the prettiest creature
who was ever seen. (she was the cat's meow) Her mother was excessively fond of her; (she
was the apple of her eye) and her grandmother doted on her still more. This good woman
had a little red riding hood made for her. (she was in the need for new threads) It suited the
girl so extremely well (it really would catch your eye), that everybody called her Little Red
Riding Hood (she was the cat's meow in her new threads). One day her mother, having made
some cakes, said to her, "Go, my dear, and see how your grandmother is doing, for I hear she
has been very ill. (and might be at death's door) Take her a cake, and this little pot of butter."
Little Red Riding Hood set out (saying, "no sweat"), to go to her grandmother, who lived in
another village. As she was going through the wood (in the middle of nowhere), she met with
a wolf (who was up to no good), who had a very great mind to eat her up, but he dared not,
because of some woodcutters working nearby in the forest. He asked her where she was
going. The poor child, who did not know that it was dangerous to stay and talk to a wolf, said
to him, "I am going to see my grandmother and carry her a cake (she has a sweet tooth) and a
little pot of butter from my mother." "Does she live far off?" said the wolf "Oh I say,"
answered Little Red Riding Hood; "it is beyond that mill you see there, at the first house in
the village." "Well," said the wolf, "and I'll go and see her too. I'll go this way and you go that,
and we shall see (find out) who will be end up there first." The wolf ran as fast as he could,
taking the shortest path, and the little girl took a roundabout way, entertaining herself by
gathering nuts, running after butterflies, and gathering bouquets of little flowers. It was not
long before the wolf arrived at the old woman's house. He knocked at the door: tap, tap.
"Who's there?" "Your grandchild, Little Red Riding Hood (which was a bare faced lie),"
replied the wolf, counterfeiting her voice; "who has brought you a cake (because she knows
you have a sweet tooth) and a little pot of butter sent you by mother." The good
grandmother, who was in bed, because she was somewhat ill (she was only a little laid up and
not on her death bed), cried out, "Pull the bobbin, and the latch will go up." The wolf pulled
the bobbin, and the door opened, and then he immediately fell upon the good woman and
ate her up in a moment, for it been more than three days since he had eaten. (this part of the
story just tears me apart) He then shut the door and got into the grandmother's bed,
expecting Little Red Riding Hood, who came some time afterwards and knocked at the door:
tap, tap. "Who's there?" Little Red Riding Hood, hearing the big voice of the wolf, was at first
afraid; but believing her grandmother had a cold and was hoarse (her cottage was old and
smelled and was a sick building), answered, "It is your grandchild Little Red Riding Hood,
who has brought you a cake and a little pot of butter mother sends you." The wolf cried out to
her, softening his voice as much as he could (he was an old hat at tricking people), "Pull the
bobbin, and the latch will go up." Little Red Riding Hood pulled the bobbin, and the door
opened. The wolf, seeing her come in, said to her, hiding himself under the bedclothes, "Put
the cake and the little pot of butter upon the stool, and come get into bed with me." Little
Red Riding Hood took off her clothes and got into bed. She was greatly amazed to see how
her grandmother looked in her nightclothes, and said to her,

"Grandmother, what big arms you have!" (being sharp as a tack the wolf said), "All the better
to hug you with, my dear."

"Grandmother, what big legs you have!" "All the better to run with, my child."

"Grandmother, what big ears you have!"

"All the better to hear with, my child." "Grandmother, what big eyes you have!"

"All the better to see with, my child." "Grandmother, what big teeth you have got!" "All the
better to eat you up with."

(besides being sharp as a tack , his teeth were very sharp too) And, saying these words, this
wicked wolf fell upon Little Red Riding Hood, and ate her all up. (Little Red Riding hood was
at peace and at rest.)

Moral: Children, should never talk to a stranger, and if they do they might be hurt or killed.
(and buy the barn) I say "stranger," but there are various kinds of strangers. There are also
those who seem very nice. Unfortunately, it is often these nice stangers who are the most
dangerous ones of all. (so please be clued in and listen to your parents, even though they
sometimes seem like a broken record about talking to perfect strangers)

The End........
Jack and the Bean stalk
Jack is a young, poor boy living with his widowed mother and a cow as their only source of
income. They did not have any other business on the side. When the cow stops giving milk,
Jack's mother tells him to take it to the market to be sold. On the way, Jack meets an old
man who offers to make a trade. Jack wanted to know what the man had to throw on the
table. The man said that he had magic beans in exchange for the cow, and Jack was on the
fence about the trade but being a young silly boy, makes the trade anyway. When he arrives
home without any money, his mother was on fire, throws the beans on the ground, and sends
Jack to bed without dinner.

During the night, the magic beans cause a gigantic beanstalk to grow. The next morning,
Jack climbs the beanstalk to a land high in the sky. He finds an enormous castle and sneaks
in. Soon after, the castle's owner, a giant, returns home. He senses that Jack is nearby and he
was on edge, and speaks a rhyme:

Fee-fi-fo-fum!

I smell the blood of an Englishman,

Be he alive, or be he dead,

I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

His wife wakes up and tells him he was mistaken. The giant says that he thought he was on
the money but couldn't find anyone and since he was on a string with his wife he went to
sleep. Before he fell asleep he said to himself perhaps I should go on the wagon because I
must be drunk. When the giant falls asleep Jack thought maybe he should steal the bag of
coins. He was really on the fence about stealing but when you don't have any food even
stealing is on the table. He steals the bag of gold coins and thought he had better be on the
wing, so he makes his escape down the beanstalk.

Jack climbs the beanstalk twice more. He learns of other treasures and steals them when the
giant sleeps: first a goose that lays golden eggs , then a harp that plays by itself. He thought
that everything was on the rail and that he had gotten away with his stolen goods. The giant
was sleeping on edge and wakes up on fire . When he sees Jack on the wing with the harp
and chases Jack who was on the run, down the beanstalk. Jack calls to his mother for an axe
and before the giant reaches the ground, cuts down the beanstalk, causing the giant to fall to
his death.

Jack and his mother live happily ever after, keeping it on the QT how they became rich
because they knew that Jack stole from the giant because there was a law on the books about
stealing from anyone, even giants. They lived the rest of their life on edge, worrying that
someone would find out and they would have to go on the run.

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