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Story-writing Scaffolds
Upper Primary Book 1
Published 2007 by
Blake Education Pty Ltd
ABN 50 074 266 023
108 Main Rd
Clayton South VIC 3168
Ph: (03) 9558 4433
Fax: (03) 9558 5433
www.blake.com.au
ISBN 978-1-921143-69-4
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The authors and publisher would like to thank the Ngarrindjeri Community for
giving their permission to use their Thukeri story in Unit 3 of this book.
Upper Primary Book 1
Story writing
SCAFFOLDS
CONTENTS
UN IT 4 Play Scripts 63
2
Magic Stories Direct and reported Setting out and Word play;
speech punctuating dialogue Metaphors and similes
3
Indigenous
Noun groups Paragraphs Sequencing events
Australian
Dreaming Legends
5
Adventure Connectives; More sophisticated Personification;
Complex sentences punctuation marks Fiction hooks
Stories
6
Word classes;
Chinese Fables Ways to connect
Commas in dependent
Story endings
clauses
clauses
7
Active and passive Sounds in stories
Humorous Stories verbs; Features of
Layout of an official
onomatopoeia,
letter
formal official language alliteration, assonance
F *NCLUDESOMEDESCRIPTIONSOFTHE
SPORTINGACTIONTAKINGPLACEINORDER
TOPROVIDEINTERESTANDHEIGHTENTHE
EXCITEMENTANDTENSION
F *NCLUDESOMETECHNICALSPORTING
TERMSnBUTNOTTOOMANY
F :OUCANUSENAMESFORYOUR
CHARACTERSTHATARESIMILARTOTHOSE
OFWELLKNOWNSPORTSPERSONALITIES
Stage One
Stage Two
Stage Four
Stage Five
Stage Six
My own words
Oh, Ernest. Youre far too hard on him. Hes just a bit mischievous, thats all.
STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 125
tors
Pratt Solici
Bend
Round-the-
Longb ttom
o
er 2006
31st Octob
etress
The Propri
ermarket
Pickles Sup
ay
The Ridgew
le
Summervil
m
Dear Mada bad Really
O R ib b le of 13 Notso
t, Mr H t, on
e h a lf o f our clien n g to in fo rm you tha
On b riti cate
Su m m e rv ille, I am w w il l b e re quired to va
Street, 007, you se from him
.
January, 2 rrently lea
Monday 8th whic h y o u cu
ss premises
the busine e fact that
n t is owing to th
gre e m e tioned,
in a ti o n of your a o n o f th e aforemen
This te rm en ti your
n b ro u g h t to the att a re b e in g sold from
it has be e ne s
ecream co s of your
r H O R ib ble, that ic n tr a ve n es the term
M hich co
practice w
premises, a
lease. and
p o rt u n it y to wish you
p
takes this o
e fi rm o f Pratt now se a so nal greetin
gs.
Th p ri a te
y the appro
your famil
fully
Yours faith
I Pratt,
ner
Senior Part
Ive never sold an icecream cone in my life! groaned Mum. Only ice blocks.
And this is where the hero of the hour, the knight in shining armour (thats me) came in!
Well, go and see him then, I urged her. I bet Fred Fish Face has been spreading rumours. Go
and tell Mr Ribble the truth and Ill mind the shop for you. Take Uncle Ernie with you to scare
off old Fish Face. (Fred Fisher ran a rival shop in the next street. He was always trying to cause
aggro.)
When I emerged from the back room into the front of the shop, I was immediately surrounded
by a mob of screaming customers waiting to be served.
Wheres your mother, Pickles? Whats going on? The bells not working.
Twenty minutes? Ive been here half an hour. And whats all this water?
STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 127
been hung out to dry! But perhaps his greatest
achievement was the fabulous set of pawprints
hed left all over the floor.
Speechless, I nodded.
Well then, youre being held up. Give me everything in the till. Give it to me now, or else!
My head was spinning. The world went round like a top. I was in charge of the shop and there
was mayhem, madness, total havoc, uproar. I decided to throw in the towel and burst into tears
decided, that is, until I remembered the sneer on my Uncle Ernies face when my mother had
told him that I was going to be boss for the day.
I decided to pull myself together and to stop being such a wimp. I wasnt going to let Uncle
Ernie think that the small matter of managing a flood, a mudbath, a crowd of complaining
customers, a runaway washing line and a burglary would get the better of me, Sir Thomas of
Summerville.
Thomas, youre a wonder! I told you, Uncle Ernie! And, when I explained to Mr Ribble that
Fred Fisher is always making up stories, he told me that hed suspected as much. He said that
we dont need to move premises after all. In fact, hes let me off the rent this month to make up
for all the worry hes caused.
Mum was quite delighted, and so was I. Even Uncle Ernie looked pleased.
I think I owe you an apology, young man, he said sheepishly. You held the fort admirably.
STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 129
Understanding the grammar and punctuation
An agentless passive is also used when the person doing the action is unimportant
or unknown:
The shop was cleaned until it gleamed.
What is important is that the shop was cleaned before Thomas mother returned,
not who did the cleaning.
The use of the passive enables the writer to emphasise the person or thing that is acted
on by the verb, rather than the person who is doing the acting (the agent of the verb).
The writer can show that the subject is at the mercy of forces beyond his/her control.
Mrs Pickles was shocked and distressed by the contents of the letter. She was guided to
a chair by Thomas, and given a cup of tea by Uncle Ernie.
Here the author conveys Mrs Pickles helplessness through her inability to act.
The passive is also a feature of formal, official language as it is impersonal:
The premises which are currently leased from him must be vacated.
However, when the passive is used too much, it can take the life out of the writing.
Passive verbs
Now write two passive sentences of your own where there is no mention
of an agent because the agent is unimportant or unknown.
Thomas was sickened by what he saw. He was horrified by the shouting customers,
disappointed by the behaviour of T-Rex and thrown into a panic by the appearance of the
burglar.
The robber was stunned by T-Rexs attack on him, annoyed when he became tangled up in
the washing line and embarrassed by the socks and handkerchief landing in his mouth.
STORY-WRITING SCAFFOLDS UPPER PRIMARY BOOK 1 UNIT 7 2007 BLAKE EDUCATION 131
Name Unit 7 Punctuation
Formal letters
Complete this letter. It is a reply from Mrs Pickles solicitors to Mr Pratt. It contains formal,
official language. Choose the most appropriate word from those in the box below to insert in
each space. Then punctuate the letter. Remember you do not need to punctuate an address.
You should use commas to make the meanings of the sentences clear.
Wright Messup
42 Hognose Rd
Suem
Dear Mr Pratt
In this letter was given to my client that the agreement regarding the
lease of a supermarket premises with your client Mr H O Ribble was to be terminated
with from Monday 8th January 2007. The explanation for this notice to quit
was an allegation that my client had the terms of the lease by
selling merchandise from the business premises on the Ridgeway
As you are no doubt aware Mr Ribble has conceded that this was
entirely without foundation and has decided that not only should this notice to quit
be withdrawn immediately but that no rent should be paid by Mrs Pickles this month
by way of
Please could you in writing that these are the most recent
that you have received from your client to the lease of
the supermarket
Yours sincerely
Don U Mess-With-Me
( ).
The eight units in this book cover the story types below:
Magic stories Sport stories
Play scripts Chinese fables
Humorous stories Fairytales
Adventure Indigenous Australian dreaming stories
ISBN 978-1-92114-369-4