Running head: FINAL REFLECTION PAPER 1

Final Reflection Paper: Understanding Feedback is Developmental

Alyssa D. Humbles

Loyola University Chicago

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As an extension of my internship experience this summer, it was a privilege to also co-

facilitate the Emerging Greek Leaders Program (EGLP) curriculum that was designed this

summer. This opportunity allowed for me to see, first hand, what aspects of program

development translated well into practice and what areas needed further refinement. Also, over

the course of the six week program, certain aspects like population focus, campus climate and

flexibility proved to be pivotal. While the facilitation process taught me so much about the

development aspect to programming, the liberty given with this independent study to also think

introspectively added such a wealth to my growth as both a person and practitioner. At the

conclusion of this experience, each day I find myself giving more meaning to the progression my

initial interest in this program has taken, the emotional tug of war I felt leading into each session,

the culmination of the program, and finally the invaluable feedback I received during a

debriefing with my summer internship coordinator regarding the program. All of this has

broadened my perception of self professionally and personally and has even provided further

clarity regarding my own aspirations.

Initial Interest

I counted it an honor to be invited by my summer internship coordinator to co-facilitate

the EGLP. I thought this would be a great opportunity to see the manifestation of our hard work

from the summer. As the formal details became concrete, I found that the added caveat of also

being responsible for my self-perceptions throughout the course of this semester lent itself to add

a complexity that I had yet to experience in an academic format previously. Going into this

experience, given my professional responsibilities and experiences, I thought that I had a

solidified cognizance regarding myself in a facilitation capacity. As I have continued to learn,

rationale is not one dimensional. In addition to my stocks of knowledge around presentation

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skills and the topic of leadership, layers such as social location, population familiarity,

confidence, and malleability have the ability to alter how curriculum can be delivered and

received depending on the students.

For some time now I have had an interest in furthering my understanding about how I am

perceived in spaces. My most salient identities would be my spirituality, race, and gender. I

realize that two of the three are visible attributes that can be presumed by others based on their

own understanding and assumptions. I have felt previously that due to how I was perceived in

certain professional capacities, limits were been placed on me, in particular by my superiors.

Despite those moments of apprehension, my spirituality has refocused my confidence in my

intellectual capacity and professionalism. Uncovering the concept of anticipatory teaching

allowed for me to first see that my experiences are ones that resonate with other practitioners.

That within certain spaces among certain audiences, how one intentionally asserts themselves is

what creates the space to continue to demystify type-casted projections by opening the door for

others to be receptive. A study conducted by Perry, Moore, Edwards, Acosta, and Frey stated

that this strategy can be both physically and emotionally taxing (2009). Throughout the EGLP

there were plenty of opportunities to become overwhelmed, discouraged, and loose motivation,

but the triumphs outweighed the challenges.

Overcoming the Tug of War

Reflecting on this overall experience, I had a tug of war in terms of my confidence. I

entered the first session with a strong efficacy in my ability to co-facilitate the curriculum

primarily due to how much time we spent digesting it over the course of this summer. Coupled

with the formal development of the program, I have spent a significant amount of time reflecting

on my own experience as it pertained to my undergraduate Greek involvement and how that

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translated into actionable skills professionally. I was excited to begin uncovering some of those

revelations to those, whom I believed had such a greater advantage being still immersed in their

undergraduate experience.

As we began meeting, week after week the energy among the cohort seemed to shift. I

realize now that I internalized that shift as a direct reflection of my presence in the space and

allowed our differences to surface as validity for my feelings. I compared things like the

differing of councils between those represented in by the cohort the program versus my own and

different undergraduate institutions. I tried to rationalize the varying differences is what made it

difficult for us to connect throughout the program. Now, I am able to deduct that as the program

continued, each session was held as we got further into the term where the workload had

intensified for most. Also, simultaneous to the programs schedule, the campus climate had

experienced a shift due to demonstrations on campus around topics such as inclusivity,

segregation and politics. Not to mention that like anything else, when we enter into spaces,

along with us comes our experiences personally as well, leading up to that point.

The structure of each session had a limited amount of time to deviate from the pre-set

schedule considering the breath of content we desired to cover. Taking into consideration that

the EGLP provide maybe one of few spaces that our participants may have engaged in on a

regular basis dedicated to their personal growth with minimal ramifications, such as grading,

more liberties could have been taken to demonstrate more care or check-ins. This aligns with my

spiritual identity, in that I tend to lead with compassion and now desire to find how to formally

integrate that into program design. The focus of the program was geared towards empowering

student Greek leaders to understand their own positionality to support the LUC Greek

community and campus at large. The lessons, while tailored to Greek life are not exclusive to a
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Greek experience, but are helpful in any capacity where working alongside others for a common

goal takes precedence. Kolvenbachs (2000) focus on the integration of faith and justice within

the educational setting requires instruction around the whole person to then positively translate to

the real world. Furthermore, solidarity is learned through contact rather than through

concepts (Kolvenback, 2000). Greek life can tend to be siloed, as it is predicated on attributes,

such letters and colors which are unique identifiers like a last name, however have a

commonality among fundamental values. The EGLP provided another opportunity for members

of the LUC Greek community to interact with their peers to build this solidary through their

contact and collective learning, centered around their commonalities of being a member of a

Greek organization. To richen the diversity among the cohort, my varying experiences just aided

in this desire to enhance contact for a deeper learning rather than a detriment to learning.

Moments of clarity, such as this, came into focus towards the fifth of six sessions held

with the cohort. The final topic was the Social Change Model. We took on the topic with

confidence as we hoped to add depth to our previous conversations and critically challenge the

cohort to think of how they could employ the skills discussed over the course of the EGLP. As

we uncovered the three major spheres of the model and began to direct an activity about putting

the theory to practice, the dialogue unearthed some notions that were inherently embedded due to

the scope of the perspective brought on by their personal affiliation with councils and identities.

It was in that moment that I received reaffirmation of my value and eagerness to learn. As a co-

facilitator, I began to pose probing questions to encourage the cohort to grapple with the ideas of

inclusivity, recognizing their own positionality and the concept of perspective taking. Our final

session had a thriving dialogue where we left with more questions than we did answers. Some

aspects of the dialogue gave the cohort pause which brought on silence, but even those spaces
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provided the opportunity for us to negotiate the validity of a perspective. It was a conclusion like

that which made me long for our next opportunity to engage is such a discourse. However, our

final meeting was structured completely different. Seeing the value brought on by the natural

dialogue, led by the questions posed from the cohort, I was inclined to consider in what ways we

could have integrated that from the very beginning.

Opportunities that Surfaced from the Final Presentation

The final session of the EGLP allowed for the cohort to illustrate their definition of

leadership. They were encouraged to reflect on where they began in terms of their understanding

and how the course content may have influenced the evolution of the concept for them. While

each member from the cohort shared a slightly different perspective to where the find leadership

visible in and around LUC, a reoccurring theme was the impact one individual can have for an

entire group. Gundlach, Zivnuska, and Stoner (2006) denoted the relationship between

individualism and team dynamics in their critique of the social identity theory and social

relations model. They suggest there is a significance between an individual understanding their

social identify and the subsequent impact seen in team identity (Gundlach, Zivnuska, & Stoner,

2006). While we were pressed for time to cover each aspect that we thoughtwas important when

discussing leadership, we made a decision to omit the discussion and activity previously used

around understanding identity. I vocalized my apprehensions of diving into such a complex

concept without a considerable amount of time for fear of not doing the topic justice. Seeing that

some of the dialogues could have been co-constructed differently had we all set a foundation of

similar terminology or addressing some general assumptions, I wonder how we could have

developed an activity that, while brief, was still impactful.

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Despite the areas of opportunity within the curriculum built, seeing the cohort during

their final presentations celebration was truly heart-warming. We ended the session by

presenting each of the participants with a certificate of appreciation for their commitment to the

EGLP, and for each one of them to have such a pleasant exchange with each other during the

informal dinner, side conversations sparked with either myself or my coordinator, and even the

way they shared of their experiences with our guest and visitors showed that this program set

differently with everyone, but everyone took something away regardless if it was an intended

learning outcome of the program.

My coordinator and I had a conversation around the third session about flexibility,

something that in my professional capacity I practice with ease, but for some reason within this

setting I felt more immobilized. It could have been for a number of things, such as the personal

limitation I placed on myself due to my formal position and concern for taking that informal

power to deviate from the guides we planned for so diligently. As she began to provide me with

feedback during the course of the program, I found it becoming more natural for me to engage in

dialogues with the cohort and allowing them to steer the conversation. Conversations like this

did not come too far and in between. After each session we would meet for some time to discuss

the session we had just led and plan for the following meeting. The immediate conversations

allowed for me to find ways to directly apply changes for the next session and even beyond the

EGLP.

Feedback

To round out the program, my coordinator and I scheduled a debriefing to review the

program and the survey results from the participants. As we began, she first shared with me the

feedback from the participants. Their reflections regarding the program structure, content
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covered, and delivery were very informative. One respondent mentioned that they enjoyed the

opportunity to grapple with concepts alongside their peers while another said that their

understanding of the concept of leadership did not alter much. This wide array of responses was

seen as they critiqued each aspect of the program. I paid particular attention to their reflections

regarding the facilitators. Some of their remarks denoted uncertainty among the facilitators

while others saw open ended questions as a space to add their own interpretation. To add, my

coordinator shared over the course of the program strategies to pose questions in a way that

keeps them engaged. She phrased it as compounding questions naturally, rather than giving

them multiple questions with the intent to clarify but instead confuse. Furthermore, similar to

theories used to strategically develop curriculum or what informs practice, not one is all

encompassing. Similarly, every aspect of a person or program cannot be addressed within such a

condensed time frame. As program developers or facilitators, I found that if a primary focus is

placed on the substance of what is shared, while also setting an initial broad framework, the

dynamics lend themselves to hone in one concept in great depth and then rounding out the

conversation about the integration of additional pieces. This requires intentionality on the

development part, aside from the context. Also, having an awareness of how to introduce

concepts while being mindful of self is just as important as the concepts themselves. What good

is the information you aim to deliver if your audience is not receptive?

Additional feedback that my coordinator shared with me really allowed me to see that

even some of the smallest gestures have a great impact. She shared with me that some of the

most valuable attributes I demonstrated throughout this term were my dedication, consistency

and professionalism. What I set out to do in the beginning of the term, I stuck to until the very

end. The areas of growth that I desired to gain out of this experience, I continuously asked for
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ways that I could improve week by week. She said that I took critique and promptly integrated it

in my facilitation style. Lastly, she mentioned my passion for this work. Even as times turned

challenging, while I too attempted to hold multiple things constant this term, I found within

myself a positive spirit to continue forth. I did not allow any difficulties that I may have been

experiencing within my own educational pursuits, professional sphere or personally relationships

interfere with my personality during our time together.

I really found her feedback truly helpful. One of my biggest feats this term was

acknowledging my strengths and not letting them become overshadowed by the areas I desire to

enhance. Even when structuring my questions for our debriefing, I initially omitted a question

about positive outcomes as I was solely focused on finding ways to continuously improve. I see

the value in having a balance of celebrating my strengths as a vehicle to continue to move

forward while refining other areas of myself.

Conclusion

This semester has really provided me a set time carved out to look at what motivates me.

The EGLP was the catalyst to where I was able to see multiple layers of myself: how my

identities and lived experiences are carried with me into settings, how my self-awareness aids in

how I present content, how theory is not easily translated into practice, rather is coupled by an

understanding of multiple dynamics and external factors, and even in the midst of adversity there

is spaces for growth. Throughout this entire process, I relied on my spiritualty to center me.

While the topic was not an integrated component of the curriculum, as I entered into the class for

every session, I carried with me the compassion, love of Christ and Christ-like behaviors that are

indicative of my faith. As I initially thought to find spaces where I could see my faith live in the

classroom, I have come to see it interwoven in my presence, my tone, my concern for others, and
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my passion to continue forth in this field. Just as I hope to have impart some wisdom on our

cohort, I am so humbled at the wisdom that they were able to impart on me that I hope will only

continue to be refined as time moves forward.

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References

Gundlach, M., Zivnuska, S., & Stoner, J. (2006) Understanding the relationship between

individualism-collectivism and team performance through an integration of social

identity theory and the social relations model. Human Relations, 59(12), 1603-1632.

Kolvenbach, P. (2000b, October). The service of faith and the promotion of justice in American

Jesuit higher education. Public lecture delivered at Santa Clara University, Santa Clara,

CA.

Perry, G., Moore, H., Edwards, C., Acosta, K., & Frey, C. (2009). Maintaining credibility and

authority as an instructor of color in diversity-education classrooms: A qualitative

inquiry. The Journal of Higher Education, 80(1), 80-105.

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