The Art of Parts: Participating in the Puzzle of Life

"For us how difficult to become whole,

a part is always left out
and that is the part we have to choose."
Pope John Paul II from his poem The Blind
*
The Whole (god, fame, fortune, sex, power, knowledge, love) we all search for is created
by our search for it. This Whole we seek in our lives is in fact the hole we each have left
to mark our absent place in Unconscious Life Itself.

At birth we emerge from the Whole in which we were dissolved - we are precipitated into
a separate, participating part which is our conscious self. As a separate part we become a
puzzle we are driven to solve. The solution we seek is our dissolution back into
unconscious Life. That is, we try throughout our lifetime to lose or dissolve our sense of
separateness from Life as a Whole. What we seek salvation from is our separate self.

Thus the missing Whole you yearn for is the participating part (you as a separate
conscious entity) you must learn about. As a separate entity you are apart from the
originating Whole but you are also a part of that Whole. The hole you left in that Whole
by withdrawing from it is what you must try to fill in by finding your fit within temporary
Wholes so long as you live. Not until you die will you be able to fill that hole finally and
become complete again. So long as you have consciousness you will be moved to find
your fit within the variety of social Wholes that draw you to them as a separate but social
part.

"Stress is the outcome of a struggle for the self-preservation (homeostasis) of parts within
a whole. This is true of cells within an individual or of individuals within society. The
formation of teleologic centers [centers of order as wholes] appears to be one of the great
laws of Nature. Stress responses are purposeful, homeostatic reactions. In cancer there
are actually two teleologic centers; their interests are opposed, but, within each of them,
purposeful activity 'for its own good' is recognisable. The very essence of cancerous
growth is the setting up of a center whose own interests are largely opposed to those of its
host." Hans Selye, The Stress of Life

"The person and environment fit together like interlocking pieces of a puzzle, each
shaped by the other." Michaels and Carello, Direct Perception

You as a separate individual are both a whole unto yourself as well as a part of the world.
You are complete in yourself and not complete. This tension between being apart from
while being a part of the world comes with birth, remains to death, and is the source of
your fundamental anxiety as a conscious being.

Your happiness or adaptivity depends upon your "fitness", that is, how well your part fits
with other parts to compose its various social wholes. Throughout your life, you as a part
participate with other parts to create wholes which provide the meaning of life for all
involved.

As an adult, the primary whole that your part is designed to participate in is an intimate
committed relationship with an opposite sex partner. From this union you go on to fit
into ever larger social units from the family to the nation.

Until you begin to recognise and respect the "form" of your part you will find your fitness
haphazard, unpredictable and a source of unease. In order to meet and keep your other
matching half - your life partner - you will need to know your self.

Connections For Life helps you gain self-knowledge, the understanding of your unique
personality. This self-knowledge is particularly directed toward the end of finding your
fit with a life-long completing partner and together creating your nurturing whole.
But what does self-knowledge mean? It means understanding how you behave, how you
meet your needs, what you prefer - in other words, how you have been conditioned by
your genes and your upbringing within the human condition.

How can we help you obtain this self-knowledge? We use a variety of value clarification
and personality assessment methods, especially the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
(MBTI).

Such psychological "tools" draw out of you your fundamental and determining values as
well as your consistent behaviour patterns. We also use a "life history" survey to allow
you to see the overall patterns of your life to date.

Through your self-disclosure made possible by these various methods, we create a

personality profile and life-map that shows you where/when/what/why/who/how you
have been.

What do we do with your personality profile and life-map? We use it to find your best
potential matches in the opposite sex. We use it to help you plan your life's future
possibilities in the light of your new self-knowledge of the past - all focused on the goal
of helping you to meet and keep your life-long partner.

We help you to bring out the best in yourself to attract the best in your opposite sex by
teaching communication and people skills, including dress, hygiene, manners and general
deportment.

We must stop referring to ourself for our meaning. Our self has no meaning on its own.
Meaning only comes from the communication between the self and the other - the
relationship itself is what holds the meaning each separate self is seeking to find in itself.
What we are doing is the equivalent of dialling our own number and of course finding it
continuously busy. We can't get through because we are in our own way. We must break
out of the self-referent short-circuit and learn that our meaning comes from
communicating with others.
*
Jen symbolises the essence of humanity as personal relationship which connects
oppositional differences through a higher unity of reciprocal love. Perhaps the most
fulfilling relationship is the intimate partnership of male and female where each is
equally committed to the other's care for life. This ideal potential is what we intend to
help you discover, create and maintain.