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A Collection of Beautiful English Jokes (1)

Thats a strange pair of socks youre wearing. - Ciudat pereche de osete pori. Una este
Ones red and the others green. roie, iar cealalt este verde.
Yes, I know. And do you know what Ive got - Da, tiu. i tii ceva? Am o alt pereche
another pair exactly like it at home! exact la fel acas!

Now tell me, do you usually stir your tea with - Spune-mi, te rog, de obicei mesteci ceaiul cu
your right hand? mna dreapt?
Oh, yes. - O, da.
Thats strange. Most people use a spoon. - Asta-i ciudat. Majoritatea oamenilor folosesc
o linguri.

Congratulations, my boy! said the grooms - Felicitri, biete! a spus unchiul mirelui. Sunt
uncle. Im sure youll look back on this day as sigur c peste ani, vei privi aceast zi ca pe
the happiest day of your life. cea mai fericit zi din viaa ta.
But Im not getting married until tomorrow. - Dar de-abia mine m cstoresc.
I know, said the uncle. - tiu, a spus unchiul.

Where have you been? - Unde ai fost?

Out riding. - Am clrit.
Horseback? - Pe cal?
Oh yes. He got back half an hour before I - O, da. El s-a ntors cu o jumtate de or mai
did. devreme dect mine.

A man walked into a doctors office with a Un om a intrat n cabinetul doctorului cu un

cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his right ear, castravete n nas, un morcov n urechea
and a banana in his left ear. dreapt i o banan n urechea stng.
Whats wrong with me, Doc? he asked Ce este n neregul cu mine, doctore? a
The doctor took one glance and said, Its ntrebat el.
obvious! Youre not eating properly! Doctorul a aruncat o privire i a spus, Este
evident! Nu mnnci corect!

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The old man at the Home was celebrating his Un btrn de la azil i celebra ce-a de-a 112-a
112th birthday. A reporter from the local aniversare de zi de natere. Un reporter de la
newspaper asked him, Tell me, what do you ziarul local l-a ntrebat, Spunei-mi, care
think is the reason for your long life? credei c este cauza vieii dumneavoastr
The old man thought for a minute, then said, lungi?
Well, I suppose its because I was born such Btrnul s-a gndit timp de un minut, apoi a
a long time ago. spus, Ei bine, e din cauz c m-am nscut cu
mult timp n urm.

A man ran into a bank and pointed a gun at Un brbat a nvlit ntr-o banc i a
the cashier. He said, Give me all your money, ameninat-o cu un pistol pe casier. El a spus:
or youll be GEOGRAPHY! - D-mi toi banii ti, sau vei fi GEOGRAFIE!
The cashier laughed and said, You mean Casiera a rs i a spus:
youll be HISTORY - Vrei s spui ISTORIE.
The robber answered, Dont change the Banditul a rspuns:
subject. - Nu schimba subiectul. (n englez subject =
subiect, dar i obiect de coal)

You remind me of the sea. - mi aduci aminte de mare.

Because Im so wild and romantic? - Pentru c sunt att de slbatec i romantic?
No, you make me sick. - Nu, mi faci ru.

Put your money in oil. .- Pune-i banii n petrol. (cu sensul de a investi)
Are you crazy? Who wants oily money? - Eti nebun? Cine vrea bani unsuroi?

A lady was in the kitchen preparing dinner O doamn era n buctrie pregtind cina,
when she heard a loud banging all the way cnd a auzit o bufnitur puternic n jos, pe
down the stairs. She rushed into the hall where scri. Ea s-a repezit pe hol, unde a vzut-o pe
she saw her daughter lying on the floor. What fiica ei zcnd ntins pe podea.
happened? she asked. Did you miss a step? - Ce s-a ntmplat? a ntrebat ea. Ai ratat vreo
No, replied the daughter. I hit every one. treapt?
- Nu, a replicat fiica. Le-am lovit pe toate.

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