Documente Academic
Documente Profesional
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COM
By CHRIS JOHNSON
cjohnson@washblade.com
For the rst time, a federal appeals court has determined discrimination
based on sexual orientation amounts to sex discrimination and is unlawful
under current civil rights law.
In a 69-page decision, the U.S. 7th Circuit Court of Appeals in Chicago ruled
Tuesday in the case of Hively v. Ivy Tech Community College anti-gay workplace
bias is unlawful under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, reversing an earlier
decision from a three-judge panel nding precedent precludes the court from
making that determination.
Writing for the majority in the 8-3 decision, U.S. Chief Judge Diane Wood, a
Clinton appointee, nds discrimination based on sexual orientation constitutes
discrimination based on ones perception of gender stereotypes, which the
U.S. Supreme Court has determined is unlawful under Title VII.
KIMBERLY HIVELY sued her former employer, Ivy Tech Community College, alleging it denied
her promotions because shes a lesbian.
CONTINUES ON PAGE 14 PHOTO COURTESY OF LAMBDA LEGAL
Pleas from LGBT advocates new law is far from perfect, but the board of directors
to continue boycott fall short reached the conclusion to restore games to North
Carolina after evaluating the HB2 replacement signed
by North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper after negotiations
By CHRIS JOHNSON with Republican leaders.
cjohnson@washblade.com We are actively determining site selections, and this
new law has minimally achieved a situation where we
The National Collegiate Athletic Association has believe NCAA championships may be conducted in a
decided to restore games to North Carolina in the nondiscriminatory environment, the statement says.
aftermath of the state reaching a deal to replace anti- The statement, however, indicates any site
LGBT House Bill 2 with another measure that civil awarded a championship event in North Carolina or
N.C. Gov. ROY COOPER signed a replacement law for HB2
rights groups say is discriminatory. that critics say doesnt go far enough.
The league announced in a statement Tuesday the CONTINUES ON PAGE 15 WASHINGTON BLADE FILE PHOTO BY MICHAEL K. LAVERS
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WHO HAVE
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TransAAction Maryland, a year-old non-prot, will host a picnic on April 29 at
Centennial Park, Pavilion D, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The park is located at 10000
Clarksville Pike in Ellicott City. Organizers promise a family-friendly day of food,
live music, a silent auction and rae drawing.
The organizations mission is to positively support, uplift and bring fullling
DONT KNOW opportunities to transgender individuals and their families through philanthropy,
arts and science.
THEY ARE HIV+ Members are committed to advocating personally for the trans community
by becoming involved with local issues and supporting advocacy groups such as
HRC; the National Center for Transgender Equality, and PFLAG; legal protective
LEADING groups, such as Lambda Legal; and suicide and social hotlines and networks,
such as the Trevor Project.
CAUSE OF DEATH With our goal of Educate, Connect and Support in mind, our Transgender
AVERAGE FOR ALL 25-44 YO Day of Resilience Picnic, will hopefully do just that, Cathy Landfried, board
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IN MARYLAND OF HIV DIAGNOSIS IN MARYLAND Guests are requested to bring a dish to share. PFLAG of Howard County is
sponsoring a hot dog station, and the Hammond High School GSA will provide
cupcakes for the event. Various picnic items such as salads, side dishes, cookies
and beverages will also be provided at no cost.
The event is free but attendees should being fun money to participate in the
silent auction. Donations are also welcome.
For more information, visit the Facebook event page.
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1 8 A PRI L 0 7 , 2 0 17 VIEWPOINT
VOLUME 48 ISSUE 14
workplace protections?
E-MAIL
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EDITORIAL
rights, religious exemption EDITOR
The community is well served by the Log Cabin KEVIN NAFF
By MALCOLM LAZIN
Republicans. They deserve our strategic support. kna@washblade.com ext. 8088
FEATURES EDITOR
JOEY DIGUGLIELMO
joeyd@washblade.com ext. 8081
Since 1994, lobbyists in Washington SR. NEWS REPORTER
have unsuccessfully tried to pass ENDA, LOU CHIBBARO JR.
a bill protecting at rst lesbians and gays lchibbaro@washblade.com ext. 8079
NEWS REPORTER
and then LGBT Americans in the work- CHRIS JOHNSON
place. Even in 2009 and 2010, with Demo- cjohnson@washblade.com ext. 8083
crats in control of the White House and REPORTER & INTERNATIONAL NEWS EDITOR
Congress, ENDA was not enacted. MICHAEL K. LAVERS
mlavers@washblade.com
Ironically, workplace protection could be
POP CULTURE REPORTER
achieved under a Republican-controlled MARIAH COOPER
Washington. It will not be the Equality Act, PHOTO EDITOR
which provides unqualied LGBT equality MICHAEL KEY
in the workplace. The bill was endorsed by mkey@washblade.com
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Hillary Clinton. For Republicans that en- PETER ROSENSTEIN, MARK LEE,
dorsement and lack of a religious exemp- LATEEFAH WILLIAMS, KATE CLINTON,
tion makes it unsupportable. KATHI WOLFE, RICHARD J. ROSENDALL,
The best chance for LGBT workplace MAXIMILLIAN SYCAMORE
CREATIVE DESIGN/PRODUCTION
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Congress. Log Cabin is lobbying for a bill, STEPHEN RUTGERS
srutgers@washblade.com ext. 8077
which includes both transgender protec- SR. ACCT. EXECUTIVE
tion and a religious exemption. BRIAN PITTS
The passage of that bill is realistic. bpitts@washblade.com ext. 8089
In 2007, the House of Representatives ACCT. EXECUTIVE
SIRIWAT PATHARAPANUPATH
by a vote of 235 to 184, passed ENDA
spath@washblade.com ext. 8078
with among other Republican support- JOE HICKLING
ers Congressman Paul Ryan, who is jhickling@washblade.com ext. 8094
now the Speaker of the House. In 2013, CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING/ADMINISTRATION
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WASHINGTON BLADE FILE PHOTO BY MICHAEL KEY for businesses/institutions are $450 per year. Periodical postage paid
workplace bill sends a powerful signal at Washington, D.C., and additional mailing oces. Editorial positions
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to his base that LGBT Americans should notes as determined by the papers editors. Other opinions are those
be protected. After failed eorts over the If the Log Cabin bill is enacted, it will workplace equality for LGBT Americans. of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the
Washington Blade or its sta. To submit a letter or commentary: Let-
past 23 years, it achieves 3/4 of a loaf. be for the federal courts to determine The community is well served by the ters should be fewer than 400 words; commentaries should be fewer
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The other major advantage is the whether the so-called religious exemp- Log Cabin Republicans. They deserve our and must include a name, address and phone number for verication.
Send submissions by e-mail to kna@washblade.com.
courts. Much of our success has come tion violates the Constitution. With strategic support.
through GLAD, ACLU and Lambda Le- Lawrence v. Texas, Windsor v. U.S. and
gal including gays in the military, repeal Obergefell v. Hodges, among others prec-
of Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and edents, there is considerable case law to MALCOLM LAZIN is executive director of the
marriage equality. achieve through the courts the full loaf, Equality Forum and LGBT History Month.
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V I E W PO I NT
Back in the USSR Gorsuch of Hobby Lobby fame is due to our another example of toxic Republicanism. never know the USSR had dissolved decades
The toxic harvest of recent stolen election and an eight-year cam- LGBT advocates demand to be counted ago, judging by the recent spate of unfortu-
Republican nihilism paign to delegitimize Barack Obama because in the census has been denounced by the nate demises met by critics of Mr. Putin. The
he was a Democrat. president of Log Cabin Republicans as violat- Trumpists are a national wrecking crew re-
The normalizing of this theft by much of ing peoples privacy by requiring them to out gardless of whether they formally colluded
the commentariat is nearly complete as I themselves. Gregory Angelo acts as if adding with the Russians.
write this, despite the commendably staunch a simple census question were akin to a tele- Horrifying news emerged last week from
opposition of Sen. Chuck Schumer. The gall- vised public interrogation. Chechnya, where more than 100 gay men
ing ambivalence of Sen. Claire McCaskill, who Log Cabins defense of LGBT invisibility have been detained by authorities and many
eventually said she would oppose Gorsuch, is a vain eort by a group craving political extrajudicial killings are suspected. It is a
only highlighted the farce in which the nomi- relevance to ingratiate itself with a party short step from wanting gay people invisible
nee touted his respect for precedent, which that insists on treating anti-discrimination to wanting us dead. A Chechen government
RICHARD J. ROSENDALL is a writer and activist. no one believed. Lectures of Democrats by laws as attacks on religious freedom. To spokesman actually denied that there are
Reach him at rrosendall@starpower.net. various high-minded persons only obfuscate render us legally erasable is to attack the any gay people in Chechnya.
the fact that a seat on our highest court is be- public square in which diverse people co- Anyone who pretends that intolerant rhet-
Americas executive branch these days ing stolen, and the courts legitimacy along exist by mutual accommodation. Angelos oric here in America is unrelated to the spike
appears hell-bent on ashing our national with it. Gorsuch received consideration never obeisance to a party that despises him will in hate crimes should tell that to the friends
greatness with an orgy of military spending, given to Judge Garland, and a libuster is the avail him nothing. of murdered Muslims and trans people.
bombing civilians, abandoning allies, fetishiz- only remedy. The farthest-right members of the House In 1961, poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko wrote
ing fossil fuels, obsessing over womens re- That the Birther-in-Chief and his party of Representatives were elected to be in- a powerful protest against the Ukranian
productive choices, and panicking over the in thrall to Christianist bullying and white transigent. When they are not lobbing mis- governments refusal to erect a monument
prospect of transgender people using the nationalism are poised for a win will be an siles at fellow Republicans, they are blaming to the tens of thousands of Jews massacred
bathroom. For an encore, theyre adding indelible stain on our Constitution and a Democrats. Their unreadiness for governing by Nazis in a ravine in Kiev. He began, Over
grand larceny. slash to the gut of our republic by the po- is poorly concealed by partisan deection. Babi Yar there are no monuments. The steep
The late Sen. S.I. Hayakawa said 40 years litical nihilist who runs the Senate. The sug- They have degenerated into a Coalition of No, precipice is like a crude gravestone. He died
ago of the Panama Canal, We stole it fair gestion that we should forget it and move good only at fomenting discord. on April 1 at age 84.
and square. A similar attitude prevails in the on is an anthem to thuggery that those One thing Trump and his team do routine- One voice can make a dierence. Raise
oce of Senate Majority Leader Mitch Mc- devoted to justice must resist. Gorsuch will ly is use Kremlin propaganda techniques like yours because you can, for those who
Connell regarding the Supreme Court seat never be clean of the treachery by which he alternative facts, gaslighting, and Orwellian cannot.
that should rightfully be occupied by Merrick is being installed. newspeak. For all the diversionary Republi- Copyright 2017 by Richard J.
Garland. That it will almost certainly go to Neil Having made myself clear, I will mention can howls about McCarthyism, you would Rosendall. All rights reserved.
WASHINGTONBLADE.COM
2 0 A PRI L 0 7 , 2 0 17 VIEWPOINT
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MAUNDY THURSDAY
Lords Supper and Foot Washing
Thursday, April 13
7pm in the Sanctuary
Childcare provided for infants
through kindergarten
GOOD FRIDAY
Service of Shadows
Friday, April 14
7pm in the Sanctuary;
led by the Chancel Choir and
other FBC musicians
Childcare provided for infants
through kindergarten
EASTER SUNDAY
Christ is Risen!
Sunday, April 16
Worship at 11am;
brass prelude begins at 10:45am
Revs. MARIA SWEARINGEN, left, and SALLY SARRATT say their pastoral strengths complement
each other nicely.
As a child, Rev. Maria Swearingen felt Saturday afternoons and seeing the table Those are skills she and her wife, Rev. rst joint pastorate.
a connection to the sacraments of the set on Sunday mornings knowing shed Sally Sarratt will be putting to good use Sarratt was previously a hospital
church in a way that was, looking back, had a hand in it, made her feel overcome in their new roles as co-senior pastors chaplain and was lling in for a minister
perhaps unusual. with just this profound sense of joy, that of Calvary Baptist Church in Chinatown. on sabbatical at Greenville Unitarian
Helping her grandfather ll communion I participated in the setting of the table, Their rst Sunday was Feb. 26, so theyre
trays with crackers and grape juice on she says. still getting used to their new roles, their CONTINUES ON PAGE 37
WASHINGTONBLADE.COM
2 4 A PRI L 0 7 , 2 0 17 SP I RI T U A LI T Y
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2 6 A PRI L 0 7 , 2 0 17 Q U E E RY : 2 0 Q U E ST I O N S F O R LI SA F RI T Z
LISA FRITZ
How long have you been out and who What do you believe in beyond the
was the hardest person to tell? physical world?
To myself since 1999. To everybody, E=MC2. Nothing is lost when we die, we
since 2004. I was so pissed o at the gay- just change form. I do not believe in a
baiting during the run-up to the election human-like God (who always seems to
that year, I wrote a 17-page article about judge others the same way his followers
all things gay (plus coming out) and sent do). God is more like a force of
it to friends and family. I then wrote nature (like gravity) and connects us all.
another one based on the responses Whatever positive or negative energy you
(both good and bad) I got to the rst. exude will aect your life experience.
I dont know that that was hard per
se, but there was a deep breath before Whats your advice for LGBT
hitting send both times. I stirred up movement leaders?
quite a hornets nest. Engage with people you dont typically
engage with, both supporters and
Whos your LGBT hero? detractors.
Frank Kameny. Wow, what a courageous
ghter. He blazed a hard trail for all of us. What would you walk across hot coals
for?
Whats Washingtons best nightspot, Not much. I need my feet for dancing. I
WASHINGTON BLADE PHOTO BY MICHAEL KEY past or present? suppose for anyone I loved though, or
Town great venue all the way around. anyone in danger (I would hope).
By JOEY DiGULIELMO Describe your dream wedding. What LGBT stereotype annoys you
joeyd@washblade.com We write our own vows and she says I most?
do. Outdoor venue, botanical gardens That gay is associated with weak in
Lisa Fritz says dancing with the D.C. Rawhides is my all-time favorite way or something. Nature is my church. any form. Gay men and women risk their
to relax and recharge and have fun. lives in the military and police/re work
The country-western dancing group meets every other Saturday night What non-LGBT issue are you most every day. They risk social backlash and
at Town Danceboutique (2009 8th St., N.W.). Fritz, a police sergeant by day, passionate about? physical violence just in being honest
enjoys the diversity of the dancers. Hmm, its a short walk, but, racism. and not hiding who they care about.
Its a fun group of people and welcoming of veteran and newbie dancers Followed closely by the other -isms. That takes a lot of strength and courage.
alike, the 46-year-old Beloit, Wis., native says. People taught me the basics Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice
years ago, so I like being able to pay that forward as well as continuing to everywhere. Whats your favorite LGBT movie?
learn. It restores my soul every two weeks. Bound. The movie poster hangs in my
The D.C. Rawhides have their third anniversary dance on Saturday, April 15 What historical outcome would you laundry room: Violent and Corky are
from 6 p.m.-midnight at Dock 5/Union Market (1309 5th St., N.E.). Tickets are change? making laundry day a very big deal.
available at Town ($15), online ($20) or at the door ($25). Details at dcrawhides. Nov. 8, 2016. Hot women, hot sex, an actual plot, ne
com/anniversary. acting (a rarity in most lesbian icks) and
Fritz is single and lives in Herndon, Va., with Baylie, a boxer mix she calls her Whats been the most memorable pop a happy ending!
fur baby. She enjoys walking, reading, working out and her biweekly wine culture moment of your lifetime?
group in her free time. Ellens Im gay. Whats the most overrated social
custom?
On what do you insist? Dont know. I actually think our society
Honesty and fairness. has lost a lot of its civility. Basic
manners are often derided as political
What was your last Facebook post or correctness and replaced with base
Tweet? rudeness. One thing I love about my gay
Facebook reminder to come dance community is its a lot more European
with me at Town on 1 APR and pickup hugs and kisses for everyone when
discounted tix for the DCRawhides greeting/departing.
Anniversary dance on 15 April at Dock 5.
What trophy or prize do you most
If your life were a book, what would covet?
the title be? Nothing in particular. Wouldnt mind
Oh you think I wont? Hold my beer winning the lottery.
If science discovered a way to change What do you wish youd known at 18?
sexual orientation, what would you That I was gay.
do?
Probably get into more Facebook Why Washington?
arguments. I would totally choose to Came here for work and found a great
202.747.2077
remain a happy, healthy lesbian. gay community. Socially and politically
theres so much to do here.
W A SH I N GTO NB LAD E.C OM A P RI L 0 7 , 2 0 1 7 2 7
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WILLIE NILE W/ JAMIE McLEAN BAND
MON, APRIL 10
LAGUNITAS PRESENTS PHOTO COURTESY OF BROADWAY SINGS
LOW CUT CONNIE W/ SKRIBE
TUES, APRIL 11 Broadway singers tackle pop hits
OMMEGANG PRESENTS
THE FELICE BROTHERS
W/ THE BROTHER BROTHERS Broadway Sings presents Beyonc & Bruno Mars at Sixth and I Synagogue
(600 I St., N.W.) on Saturday, April 15 at 8 p.m.
WED, APRIL 12
New arrangements of the hit songs from Beyonc and Mars.will be performed
TERRAPIN BEER CO. PRESENTS accompanied by a live band. Broadway stars performing include Corey Mach
ROADKILL GHOST CHOIR (Wicked, Godspell),Sydney Morton (Jersey Boys, American Psycho), Jelani
PHOTO COURTESY OF TAKOMA ENSEMBLE
THURS, APRIL 13 Remy (The Lion King) and Natalie Weiss (Wicked, Everyday Rapture). Tickets
are $25 in advance and $28 day of show. Takoma Ensemble
DIRTY BOURBON RIVER SHOW
W/ HOLY GHOST TENT REVIVAL For more information, visit broadwaysingsconcert.com. gets spiritual
FRI, APRIL 14
THE WEIGHT The Takoma Ensemble performs
FEAT. FORMER MEMBERS OF THE BAND, Heaven and Earth: Spirituality in Music
LEVON HELM BAND, AND RICK DANKO GROUP at the Episcopal Church of the Ascension
(633 Sligo Ave., Silver Spring, Md.) on
SAT, APRIL 15
Saturday, April 8 at 7:30 p.m.
AN EVENING WITH
Grammy-nominated saxophonist Noah
CHATHAM COUNTY LINE Getz (seen here) and marimba player
Lee Hinkle are the guest artists. Works
SUN, APRIL 16 10am, 12:30pm, 3pm
performed will be from the 20th and 21st
EASTER GOSPEL BRUNCH centuries, sacred Renaissance music and
FEATURING WILBUR JOHNSON music inspired by the ancient Egyptian
& THE GOSPEL PERSUADERS and early Jewish manuscripts. Tickets
TUES, APRIL 18 range from $10-25. Children 16 and
KINKY FRIEDMAN under are free.
W/ BRIAN MOLNAR For more details, visit takomaensemble.
com.
WED, APRIL 19
SLATE PRESENTS
CULTURE GABFEST: LIVE IN DC Craft Brewers Conference
THURS, APRIL 20
welcomes gays
JOE PUG PHOTO COURTESY OF QQQ
Ballet Across
America
programs curated by
Misty Copeland and Justin Peck
PHOTO BY CLINTONBPHOTOGRAPHY Opening Night Celebration Program (Mon.)
Hosted by Sara Mearns, New York City Ballet
PHILIP HERNANDEZ as Carlos in Los Ostros. principal dancer and other special guests
Program curated by
Misty Copeland (Wed./thu./Fri.)
Featuring Nashville Ballet,
The Black Iris Project, and
Complexions Contemporary Ballet
3 0 A PRI L 0 7 , 2 0 17 A RT S & CU LT U RE
The cast of Historias, a thought-provoking new piece culled from real-life stories.
9:00 AM & 11:15 AM
Rev. Ginger E. Gaines-Cirelli preaching on Blood Money
Childcare & Childrens Message at both services
Maundy Thursday
Historias explores queer about assuming roles.
Thursday, April 13
Latino experiences Historias cast member Ariela Sirota 7:00 PM Foot/Hand Washing & Communion
concedes that initially it wasnt easy for to Rev. Dawn M. Hand preaching on A Dirty Job
open up. I was really nervous at rst, but
By PATRICK FOLLIARD after meeting the other actors I became
comfortable and started to talk. Their Good Friday
Typically theatrical productions start comfort level made it easier for me to
with a script. Casting and direction share my experiences. And since I met Friday, April 14
follows. But with Historias, Rainbow the plays qualications, I gured Id do it.
Theatre Projects new performance piece Is it more dicult to come out as LGBT
12 Noon & 7:00 PM
featuring six local Hispanic/Latino LGBT in the Latino community? Telling of the Passion story; Adoration of the cross at the evening service
young adults sharing personal stories,
experiences, and thoughts, the actors
were cast rst and the script has followed.
The actors nod.
For many of us, were discouraged
from ever talking about it, says Marlowe
Holy Saturday
Its not the easiest way to make a play, Vilchez. Thats whats been so great Saturday, April 15
says out director Tony Koehler, 32. The about making and rehearsing this play. It
cast bonds as family and friends and feels like therapy. You never what subject 10:30 AM Easter Egg Hunt
begins to share personal, sometimes will come up tonight. Join us in Stead Park (right behind Foundry) for our annual Easter Egg
super-emotional things. And from this Josue Lemus, a language and culinary Hunt. Everyone is welcome.
we get our script. Theres a lot of laughing arts student who is making his acting
and crying involved.
A recent Monday night nds Koehler
and the cast seated around a hexagonal
debut in Historias says, Oh yes. Im from
El Salvador. I didnt grow up in America, so
my experience is very dierent. So Im still
Easter Sunday
table in the intimate library at Luther trying to guring things out. This will be
Sunday, April 16
Place Memorial Church just o Thomas the rst time I talk about all this publicly.
Circle where the group rehearses. The Jhonny Maldonado, 21, adds, Its been 9:00 AM & 11:15 AM
20-something actors are uniformly quite a ride. Im part of the D.C. theater Rev. Ginger E. Gaines-Cirelli preaching on Sacred or Scared
smart, likable and engaged. Most are scene and I wasnt sure what I was getting
Childcare & Childrens Message at both services
also activists. With little prompting from into, but I knew it was something I wanted
Koehler, the table erupts into a lively to be part of. Its been really good to
discussion of topics including racism, put everything on the table. Our LGBTQ 1500 16th Street NW | (202) 332-4010 | www.foundryumc.org
colorism and white privilege. Some of community needs this and the entire
A Reconciling Congregation | We welcome everyone!
what they discuss will become part of the Latinx community in general needs it too.
play in both monologues and scenes. While Boston transplant Skye Ellis
While Historias (Stories in English) is says she grew up with a diverse crowd
dierent from most of Rainbow Theatre that never made a bid deal about her
Projects other productions, it ts the sexuality, she never realized the value of
companys mission to present plays and community before she moved to D.C. I
musicals that reect the experiences, didnt know what Pride was until about a
interests and history of the LGBT month ago, and I just learned that theres
community. At about an hour long and Black Pride. Ive never read the Blade
performed in English with a little Spanish, before, but I will now.
the play is about coming out, family, Being part of Historias, says Ellis,
romance and love. Historias runs for one Allows me to explore the intersectionality
night only at Source on Monday, April 10. of being Latina and LGBT. Im also
An arts educator by day, Koehler is an exploring my blackness. I love it all.
instructor with Live Stories Program in D.C.
public schools working mostly with recently A D V
immigrated youth from Central America.
Im often the only white person in the PROOF #
HISTORIAS ISSUE DATE SALES REPRESENTATIVE
Monday, April 10
room, Koehler says. I learn a lot about 7:30pm
REVIEW AD FOR COPY AND DESIGN ACCURACY. Revisions must be submitted within 24 hours of the date of proof.
Latinx experiences. And Ive learned that Rainbow Theatre Project Proof will be considered final and will be submitted for publication if revision is not submitted within 24 hours of the date
sharing life experiences isnt easy. And $15
REVISIONS
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WASHINGTONBLADE.COM
3 2 A PRI L 0 7 , 2 0 17 SP O RT I N I N D . C.
New D.C.-based sail After three days of racing, Trekr Racing he wasnt sure he would like it. The desire to Flying Juniors and Lasers and after college
nished eighth in the CSA Bareboat 1 class. raise his skill level eventually won out and he I continued to sail with a professor along
racing group debuts The regatta marked the rst time that the continues to learn from racing in regattas. with some racing.
at Spring Regatta eight-member Trekr Racing crew served on It turns out that I love racing and it makes After moving to the area in 2000 for her
the same yacht. Skipper Dave Sossamon me pay attention to things that I didnt work in set and lighting design, Howes
By KEVIN MAJOROS loves sharing the experience of sailing with pay attention to before, Sossamon says. joined the West River Sailing Club and is
others and looked forward to working with Its an innitely long learning curve and it now the proud owner of a Pearson 30.
When the rst race kicked o at the members of his own community. increases when you throw in tactics on how Howes stumbled into the opportunity to
2017 British Virgin Islands Spring Regatta This was a fun opportunity to to play o the other crew members. race with Trekr through her work with
on March 31, there was one sailing team introduce the other crew members to Another thing that Sossamon was Gender Rights Maryland.
sporting rainbow gear. Trekr Racing made racing, Sossamon says. In my years of looking forward to in Trekr Racings rst As a new boat owner, I had the chance
its debut as an all-LGBT racing team in a racing, I havent met anyone from the regatta was the chance to interact as an to learn more in one week than I could have
regatta that featured 150 yachts from LGBT community. out athlete at the international event. learned in a year, Howes says. There was
around the world in 18 varied classes Born in Baltimore, Sossamon took a The best way to address bigotry towards so much experience around me.
competing across three course areas. sailing course on dinghies in the Baltimore a group is to make friends with someone Howes says it was also important have
The racing team is an oshoot of D.C.- Harbor at age 21. He now holds a United from that group, Sossamon says. Its easy a T to go along with the LGB on the Trekr
based, LGBT-owned Trekr Adventures, States Coast Guard Captains License to be publicly out with this crew. Racing team. She has been in a 39-year
which provides sailing adventure trips and has been racing for six years out of One of the Trekr crew members who relationship with the same partner she
around the world. The move into racing Annapolis on his Beneteau 40.7. raced for the rst time in many years is had before she transitioned.
for Trekr was in part an eort to increase I bought my rst boat 20 years ago, Hilary Howes. She grew up in the San Being able to meet the yachting
the visibility of the LGBT community when I saw one for sale while I was out for a Francisco Bay area and learned how to community and participate in the race
within the sport of sailing. stroll on Maine Avenue in D.C., Sossamon sail through a Phys Ed requirement at San culture was both a benet to me and
Already partnered with charter says. It was a 26-footer and a friend Francisco State. our community, Howes says. It was
yacht company the Moorings, for their convinced me that I was missing part of the The thought of sailing always big chance to make sailing visible to the
adventuring trips, the racing team utilized experience by not owning my own. appealed to me and I was glad for the PE LGBT community and to make the sailing
a Moorings 51.4 monohull for the regatta. Sossamon put o racing at rst because requirement, Howes says. It was mostly community more aware of us.
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Westminster Church, and playing
basketball with other guys.
Im a
transgender man Endless second-guessing a When you notice that youre
ruminating, bring your attention to the
and Im part of DC. breakup is futile exercise present moment by looking around you
and noticing (for example) the minute
details of the carpet, the house plants,
the feel of the chair against your body,
the air temperature anything that pulls
Please treat me the way any
man would want to be treated: you back into the present.
with courtesy and respect. Take up a challenging new physical
Discrimination based on gender identity and
activity. Parkour, ying trapeze, Krav
expression is illegal in the District of Columbia. Maga? Ballroom dancing, rock climbing,
If you think youve been the target of
MICHAEL RADKOWSKY, Psy.D. is a licensed hiking? The combination of physical and
psychologist who works with gay individuals mental challenge will help you rewire
discrimination, visit www.ohr.dc.gov and couples in D.C. He can be found online
or call (202) 727-4559. at personalgrowthzone.com. All identifying your brain away from Nate and into now.
information has been changed for reasons Meditation helps us let go of intrusive
of condentiality. Have a question? Send it to
Michael@personalgrowthzone.com. thoughts and be in the present with a
OFFICE OF
sense of equanimity, which is exactly
GLBT
AFFAIRS where you need to be. You can nd
MICHAEL, excellent meditation resources and class
I cant get over my boyfriend Nate, who locations online.
dumped me in October. However: I have a strong hunch that
Its coming up on six months but I still your story is more complicated than
Show your support! Spread word of the #TransRespect think of him constantly, wonder what simple misery over a breakup. The
campaign by photographing this ad and sharing on Twitter. I did wrong and fantasize about how I intensity of your harsh view of yourself
could have acted dierently so that he and the way youre continuing to mourn
would have stayed with me. and idealize a guy you didnt know very
The craziest thing is that we didnt even well or for very long, tell me that you are
date for that long. But I never fell so hard deeply dedicated to thinking the worst of
for anyone else Ive dated. I knew he was you and your life.
the guy I wanted to spend my life with. If Im correct, this is about way more than
I know it sounds like I am totally you and Nate. Your focus on him as the
needy. Ive tortured myself wondering if great bungled romance of your life is just
somehow I scared him o by letting him your current means of feeling bad about
know how much I wanted to be with him yourself and sad over all the great things
and Im afraid I did just that. that you have let slip through your ngers.
On the other hand, I did my best to Changing this deeply engrained way of
play it cool because I know neediness is seeing yourself is going to be hard work.
a turn o. I made sure to not always be And then theres the way you tried to
available, to sometimes go out with my be neither too needy nor too distant in an
friends without him and once even went attempt to be exactly what you thought
away for a weekend by myself just so hed Nate wanted. Choosing your behaviors
know Im an independent guy with my in order to convey independence makes
own interests. you dependent and, yes, needy.
Sometimes I drive myself crazy thinking If you could instead decide how you
he left me because I was too distant. wanted to behave in a relationship and
Now he is dating someone 20 years then act accordingly, youd be on the
younger than I. I cant compete with that. I saw road to actually being an independent
them out walking and felt jealous and angry. man with his own interests. And I bet
Im afraid Ill never nd another youd feel a lot better about yourself. But
boyfriend in the same league as Nate that would mean being willing to tolerate
and Im torturing myself with the nonstop positive self-regard.
thought that I ruined my life by behaving If youre to stop believing that youre
in a way that led Nate to reject me. a defective screw-up who must twist
himself into knots to be in a relationship,
MICHAEL REPLIES: youll rst have to gure out what is
You havent ruined your life yet. But appealing about your current view of
you might, if you keep looking back with yourself. When we treat ourselves badly,
regret and self-laceration. we always have our reasons and these
You would help yourself greatly by often have their roots in our life story.
putting all your eort into dragging Understanding why we do what we do
your mind away from Nate every time makes it easier to change.
you start obsessing about him. Shifting Doing this work alone is exceedingly
your focus would likely become easier dicult. I suggest that you nd a therapist
through ongoing repetition. Here are a with expertise in self-denigrating thinking
few suggestions: and behavior to help you on this journey.
WASHINGTONBLADE.COM
3 8 A PRI L 0 7 , 2 0 17 P H O T O S BY CH RI S J E N N I N G S
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