Tim Knapp

4/16/17

Psych 219

Adolescence: Divorce and Kids

The goal of this research paper is understanding the impact of divorce on adolescence and

how it impacts the lives of people. Adolescents go through a huge process as they grow older,

and they require a lot of different sources to help them grow properly. Having such a big change

in the middle of adolescence can cause several different issues as the parents may not be able to

give the adolescent the attention and behaviors they need. There were several different studies

conducted and I will be using them to show the impact divorce has on adolescents, the problems

that come with divorce, and what an adolescent needs to grow properly.

Kids and adolescents are impacted in a number of different ways and need certain things

to mature properly. An adolescent requires a certain amount of parenting, and support system to

be able to mature in a proper way. This is much harder to do when both parents arent in the

same home, or are having problems. Now in America divorce happens in 50% of all marriages.

Divorce rates are increasing quickly and becoming much more common. This means that

children and adolescents will be dealing with divorce more and more as America continues this

trend. Just because parental divorce has become so common today (many statistics suggest

around 50% of first marriages divorce) doesn't make it any less painful or formative in the lives

of children and adolescents when it occurs. (Pickhardt,1) Adolescents are in a stage where they

are growing more independent and need to figure out who they are as people. This is the most
rebellious stage of a persons life. The normal job of an adolescent is to struggle with their own

unfamiliar urges and their (sem-internalized) parents rules and restrictions (Divorce and the

Adolescent, 1). This means that kids and adolescents need to be able to rebel and really see how

the world works through their parents rules and the stability of the environment. Kids and

adolescents lacking parents that can work together to deal with and even work with these

changes are at a huge disadvantage for the normal changes in their body and the processes of

growing older. Because the adolescent is at a more disaffected and rebellious stage with parents,

divorce can intensify their grievances (Pickhardt,1). Adolescents start having feelings for the

opposite sex, and start to feel urges they havent before. Help from older figures and parents can

help them deal with these changes and urges. Adolescents start to seek to claim independents and

thrive to see friends more often, but feel the need to stick to one parent more with divorce

(Teenagers, 2017). This is also the time where kids and adolescents start thinking more about

their future and start building better work habits (Teenagers,2017). An adolescent going through

these stages tends to pull away. Adolescents often feel betrayed by the broken parental

commitment to family and become angrier and less communicative (Pickhardt,1). Adolescents

and kids go through several steps with divorce that are unique to divorce as well. Adolescents

start to question marriage in general. Adolescents are more likely to question marriage, and

more likely to swear that they will never marry for fear their marriage will be a fail the way

their parents marriage has failed (Adolescents and Divorce, 2015). This pushes adolescent to

hold off on marrying or building strong relationships and can even lead the child to picking sides.

Adolescents are more likely than younger children to take sides in the divorce. They are more

likely to seek an explanation (and if they dont get one to make one up) about which parent is the

bad parent and which parent is the good parent (Adolescents and Divorce,2015). Kids and
adolescents start moving away from one parent and must deal with the changes more

independently and without some of their parents help because they feel so distant. Kids and

adolescents are going through all their changes and divorce makes it significantly harder.

Adolescents are impacted by divorce in huge ways. Children and adolescents trying to

mature go through a number of different problems with divorce. While adolescents are growing,

and trying to discover who they are, a divorce can drive a child or adolescent to try to fill the role

of a parent on top of everything else (Adolescents and Divorce,2015). This is a major issue

because they cant then discover who they are because they are pushed to become a parent

themselves, and that can harm the way they natural mature. Parents that have divorced need to

continually work together to make sure that the child or adolescent feels like both parents are still

parents and pushing them to be their own person. Adolescents dont always just rebel from their

parents sometimes they focus in on other things to get what they want instead of maturing.

Although the parents may not be getting along, their adolescent doesnt particularly see this as a

relevant problem, unless they are directly impacted by parental dissension. A normal, reasonably

intelligent adolescent will, sooner rather than later, try to play one parent against the other

(Divorce and the Adolescent, 1). This prevents the child or adolescent from growing or maturing

and hurts the parents relationship more. The child feels can start feeling responsible for the

divorce itself and that responsibility can start to fall on the child or adolescents shoulders as

well. These problems can start to arise and be shown through the child or adolescent in several

ways. They can start being withdrawn from the family and trying to focus on school or sports,

they can start failing in classes and having a number of different issues, or they can even focus

on trying to help a parent try to cope with the divorce and focusing all of their time and effort on

the parent instead of themselves. The child or adolescent starts to try to focus solely on the parent
or on their friends to try to cope with everything that is happening. They start to say things like

Since I can't count on my parents to be there the way they were, I need to count on myself

more." "Since my parents can abandon their old commitment to family, then so can I." "Since my

parents are now more caught up in themselves, it's okay for me to act the same" (Pickhardt,1).

Parents have such a huge impact on their children, even though divorce doesnt directly relate to

health-related issues. Third, although divorce does appear to be associated with delinquency via

environmental mechanisms, it remains unclear whether this association extends to other forms of

behavior problems, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or Oppositional Defiant

Disorder (Burt,1). The kid or adolescent has a harder time building emotional bonds with

people or significant others as they grow older due to the separation from the divorce. They can

keep relationships casual and superficial to avoid the necessity for commitment (Pickhardt,1).

Kids and adolescents can get the help they need with divorced parents, but only with

parents that continue to stay involved and push to keep their child a very important part of their

lives even as their lives change. Making sure the child or adolescent is still getting the attention

they need and that the separation does not hurt the childs ability to grow and mature as they

need. Giving the child the space they need to be rebellious is an important part of growing up.

While it is important to take childrens needs and wishes into account in crafting the parenting

plan at any age, with an adolescent, it is crucial to respect the childs growing independence and

need for control over their schedule (Divorce and The Adolescent,1). It is important to talk

about these problems with the child or adolescent, so the parents can encourage the teen to

develop on their own. As long as the parents continue to push the child to keep performing well

in school and both parents are there for the parents they can reduce the stress put on the child. If

the parents or adolescent becomes very stressed, just remember in spite of the inevitable
stresses and resulting distress of children of divorce, the good news is that these are usually time-

limited (Divorced and The Adolescent,1). The child or adolescent can always go thrive and try

to keep a level head in the situation, and with parents that still focus on their adolescents needs

can help the child get through the hard times. The parents need to remember to continue to be

reasonable and push the child or adolescent. The good news is that with knowledge, effort, and

successful efforts to protect adolescents from becoming ensnared in parental battles, an

adolescents connection with their parents can survive both adolescence and divorce (Divorce

and The Adolescent,1).

In conclusion children and adolescents can be damaged by a divorce. This is not always

the case but a divorce can have a very negative impact on how a adolescent matures. Adolescents

go through a number of different changes that are very scary and require a good amount of

support. Parents that continue to help their child and encourage them to succeed despite the

divorce will be successful in keeping their child or adolescent onto the right track.
 Work Cited

Adolescents and Divorce. (2015, March 02). Retrieved April 17, 2017, from

http://divorceinfo.com/chadolescents.htm

Burt, S. A., Barnes, A. R., McGue, M., & Iacono, W. G. (2008, November). Parental Divorce and

Adolescent Delinquency: Ruling out the Impact of Common Genes. Retrieved

April 17, 2017, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2593091/

Divorce and The Adolescent. (n.d.). Retrieved April 17, 2017, from

http://www.divorcemed.com/Articles/OtherArticles/Divorce_and_the_Adolescent.htm

Pickhardt, C. (2009, August 30). Parental divorce and adolescents. Retrieved April 17, 2017,

from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-

adolescence/200908/parental-divorce-and-adolescents

Teenagers (15-17 years of age). (2017, January 03). Retrieved April 17, 2017, from

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/adolescence2.html