Bodynamics Developmental Stage Visualizations

Theresa Beldon

Following are visualizations for the 7 developmental stages described by Bodynamics.

Stage: Ages:
Existence 2nd trimester 3 months
Need 1 month 1 years
Autonomy 8 months 2 years
Will 2 4 years
Love/Sexuality 3 6 years
Opinion 5 9 years
Solidarity/Performance 7 12 years

One purpose of the visualizations is to remind you and to allow you to sense what it was like to
be in a much earlier part of your life, during a time when you were just beginning to acquire
resources that you may now take for granted. Another purpose is to imagine what it might be
like for a young person to experience each of these developmental periods in a healthy way.
What would it have been like if you had gotten the support and resources you needed to
successfully negotiate each developmental period?

Instructions in italics set the context for the visualization. These are spoken by a facilitator to the
adult who is doing the visualizing. The rest of the text (not in italics) is a mix of ideal messages
that a young person in that stage might receive and observations about what its like during that
stage of development. Try to imagine yourself as a young person receiving those messages and
making those observations.

The visualizations are a work in progress. Some are more developed than others. Please do not
distribute these or use them without permission.

Healthy Existence Visualization

1 Developmental Stage (2nd trimester 3 months after birth)
st

Your parents are having a baby soon . . . and that baby is you! They are so excited. They have
been dreaming and planning for you for a long, long time. They have spent time reading books
and educating themselves about how to be good parents and how to help you grow healthy and
strong during these first nine months of your existence.

These days, they can find out if you are a girl or a boy and they have spent some time choosing
whether or not to find out ahead of time. Whether you are a girl or a boy, your parents are just as
excited about you, and they have already begun welcoming you into their lives. They have spent
time picturing you and your possible unique qualities and choosing a name for you as well.
Bodynamics Developmental Stage Visualizations Theresa Beldon

Your mother has been talking to you ever since the beginning of her pregnancy. At least once a
day she sits quietly by herself, folds her arms over her belly and thinks of you lovingly
dreaming of times with you in the future and letting you know that she wants you to be all that
you want to be and that you can surpass her every expectation if you so desire. She is careful
only to eat and drink things that will help the two of you stay healthy and concentrates on getting
plenty of rest and emotional support from your father and friends throughout your gestation
period.

Your father is excited and proud of you too and is eagerly awaiting your arrival. He is somewhat
in awe of the pregnancy process and your mothers swelling uterus and in some ways feels
emotionally pregnant as well. He is careful to check in with your mother during every stage of
the pregnancy and has witnessed you since your very first movements inside the womb. Often at
night he talks to you in welcoming tones before he goes to sleep and reassures your mother of his
love and excitement of your eminent arrival. It is very important to him to be a central figure in
your life upon your birth, and he plans to take time off before and after the birth if at all possible.

As the months go by, your body grows larger and larger and your energy begins to move freely
between your joints, bones, muscles, and organs. Your movements become bigger, more springy
and elastic. You roll and tumble and kick and push inside the womb. Its good to be in your
wonderful ocean of embryonic suspension. You have become familiar with most of your
familys patterns by now. You can distinguish between the sounds of the household: your
mothers voice, your fathers, your siblings and even the family dog. Just hearing your mothers
voice raises your heart rate and your body lights up with pleasure. You love to hear them talk to
you or each other in loving, reassuring tones. You are beginning to have preferences for certain
times of the day and types of music. All this in preparation for your birth day.

And then as the months pass, the space inside the womb becomes smaller and tighter. You begin
to feel cramped and uncomfortable, under more and more pressure. Rapidly now, the time is
coming for you to choose to be born. Yes, as much as your mother or father might like to decide
themselves, this moment is up to you. So, your mother sets aside her anxieties and patiently
waits for your signal to be born as she tries to relax and prepares for your arrival. Both of your
parents have participated in childbirth classes to help make your entry in the world as positive
and comfortable as possible for both you and your mother. Family and friends have been called
in for support and now, finally, the time has arrived.

Natural child birth is stressful, but the stress is important. Stress hormones excreted during a
normal delivery enhance your chance for survival, kick start your respiratory system and speed
up your metabolic rate so you can bond more easily with your mother in the minutes and hours
directly after your birth. A natural birth is the plan if at all possible.

Fortunately, your birth goes well, and you are born into a quiet and loving environment
surrounded by your family. Welcome, they say with their eyes, arms, hearts, and hands. We
are so glad you are here, that you exist and are part of our family. You can feel their welcome
in all the cells in your body, both inside and out. It is good to be alive and together with them!

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Healthy Need Visualization

2nd Developmental Stage (1 month 1 years)

Relax. Breathe. Let yourself go inside. Sink into the floor. Feel your body being supported by
the earth. Let yourself go. Begin to go back in time. Imagine yourself getting smaller and
smaller, younger and younger. As you see yourself going back through time, see yourself as a
tiny baby one year old and finally 6 to 8 months old. Stop here and begin focusing in.

See how young and fresh and sweet you are. Yes, you have spent very little time outside of the
womb but you have already learned so much. You have spent the past months trying to adjust to
your bodily functions and rhythms. Just trying to get used to the new relationship to your
mother, yourself and this wide world around you . . . this place called home.

Things are changing more rapidly now inside and outside of you. Your muscles are starting to
activate and develop and you are beginning to see much more clearly now. The world and every
day is challenging, exciting and often disturbing. As a matter of fact, just managing the stress of
being alive and the strong feelings and sensations in your body is a full-time job for you. It is
your mothers job to support your needs and help you learn to manage your anxiety and deal
with the daily outside stimuli of life. She is attuned to your different sounds and cries. This is
important so she can help you manage all the new stimuli. She knows when you are hungry,
frightened, uncomfortable, or just plain bored, and she responds in kind. She is happy to help
you in this way and you can sense it. Just seeing her smiling face can light up your whole day.

The world is so exciting and overwhelming, however, that you still need to sleep a lot and she
lets you do this too. She is attuned to when you need attention and when you need to go inside to
integrate your experiences. As matter of fact, she lets you set the pace and manage the kind of
interaction you want. This helps you sense your need for contact and encourages you to ask for
it.

Sometimes she misses your emotional and physical cues when she is too busy or cant respond
for some reason or another. This makes you angry, hurt and upset. You cry and yell so she can
hear you. She mirrors these feelings back to you: Its OK for you to have all your feelings,
even the angry ones, and she can always fix it. She accepts all of your moods and feelings.

When you work your body each day trying to reach, stand and sit, etc., she lets you work with
yourself only intervening when you really need help. In this way she teaches you to learn to
tolerate sensations and frustrations but she usually comes to your support when you ask clearly
for it. She is becoming more and more attuned to your sounds and body movements and
positioning. You two are now deeply bonded in a more powerful way.

Mom protects you and reassures you if you get overwhelmed, startled or just dont feel safe. Just
by the contact of her skin and her energetic messages of love and calmness, your bodies so close
together, reassuring you, you can begin to settle down.

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You still sleep a lot when you are not exercising your muscles. You need the house quiet but not
too quiet, as you are able to tolerate more external noise all the time. If you are having trouble
sleeping, Mom may come in and pat you massage you sometimes. This is, after all, all you
need nowadays: to sense her nearby. Mom helps soothe you and take you away from too much
activity and noise. She is careful to protect you from people who are too fast or too loud or try to
play with you too much. Sometimes you need to sleep to get away from everything. Mom
honors this and doesnt wake you up just because Aunt Sally comes to visit. Because as much as
you love people, even mom and dad, you need to be protected from their eyes so you can go
inside and sense yourself and integrate your experiences.

In the past few months you have learned your familys rhythms. You can tell when your father is
home. You like him and the ways he is different from Mom. You can sense that he likes you
too. Sometimes when he plays with you he is a little wilder than Mom. Mom laughs at you two
in play. She likes it too. They both feed you when you are hungry. That can be a really sweet
time. When Mom feeds you and holds you close you feel full and satisfied. Your little toe and
little finger knead her body as you nuzzle her breast. Feeding, sucking is often a slow and
private time. You take your time, eat and rest and look up at her from time to time, then press
your body into hers and go back to eating. Sometimes when youre feeling full and satisfied you
just pause, smile, reach out to touch her face and want her loving attention between sucks. Even
on the best of days your stomach doesnt always work so well still, at least some of the time.
Your parents are patient and reassuring with you when you need to burp and pass gas.

You still get frightened and afraid from too much stimulation from time to time. Mom and dad
are well aware of this and honor the dance between coming up to contact and going in to sense
yourself

Healthy Autonomy Visualization

(Developmental Movements during the transition from Need to Autonomy)
3rd Developmental Stage (8 months 2 years)

Find a place where you can lie down.

Sense what it was like to be in the Need structure. Lie on your back with your eyes open and
look at what is in your environment right now; move your head from side to side.

You can lie on your back or you can also experiment with lying on your belly and sense what
that feels like. Lie on your belly and lift your head up and see the horizon.

One of the things that you can begin to do early in this transition period is to roll from your back
to your front and from your front to your back. Lying on your stomach, you can lift one leg (the
leg that is opposite the direction that you want to roll towards) and move it in the direction you
want to roll.

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On your back, hold your hand up and look at your hand and see how fascinating your hand is.
Move your fingers around and see your hand make very interesting shapes and designs and
movements. As you hold your hand in front of you, you can follow its movement as you move
your hand across your body. Your head and the rest of your body follow that movement until . . .
you've rolled over somehow. From this age, that's about how it feels hmmm, somehow Im
over here now.

Sense what thats like in your body, that this is actually a new capacity that youre filling your
experience with. You can actually roll from your back to your front and from your front to your
back.

If youre lying on your belly, you can use your hands to push your head up and look around. If
youre on your back right now, Id like you to roll over to your front - follow that hand over and
use that leg to let gravity bring your body over onto your stomach. Push up with your hands and
your arms and lift your head up so that you can see the world with this other dimension and you
can see the horizon.

Use your hands and see if you can push all the way up so your arms are extended. This
movement can help you lift yourself up onto your knees. Play around with doing this because
this is something new, too. Notice how this feels in your body.

Move yourself up to your knees, and move backward and forward a bit with your weight. Let
yourself rock backward so youre sitting back on your feet. Sense how you can almost sit
without using your hands, but that you still need your hands to balance. This is another new way
to be. Feel especially what the ground is like, and notice what your relationship is to the ground
from this position.

Move forward so that you' re on your hands and knees. Then lower yourself down so that youre
lying on your belly again. Notice how your body feels from this place. From here, push yourself
up on your hands and over onto one elbow. If you roll onto your left elbow, bring your left knee
up underneath your right knee. Use that left arm to rock yourself up to sitting on your butt.
Sense how this is. See if you can sense into the muscles in your butt. There are some deep
muscles there that rotate your legs at your hips. Just sense how it feels to be sitting, up on your
butt on the floor and looking around.

See if you can notice what the experience of grounding is like from here. Do you feel grounded
in this position? More grounded than you do when youre standing or fess grounded? Just let
that be a question in the back or your mind. How does your grounding feel?

Roll back down and then roll back up to sitting and sense that movement. Part of whats
happening now is that you have more freedom of movement. So, if youre lying on your belly,
you can bring your knees up and push yourself up to sitting and then you can roll back down.
Pretty soon, it gets to be not a big deal at all, its just what you do all the time. (Go ahead and do
this now.)

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The next time you find yourself sitting up, stay in that position and sense what thats like. Now,
from this place, feel yourself supported by one of your arms while in this sitting position and
sense how you can rotate around to being on your hands and knees. Try to find the quickest,
simplest movement from sitting to being on your hands and knees. From this position, sense the
muscles that bring your hips forward (there are the muscles in your back that connect your pelvis
with the bottom of your ribs. As you contract one side of those muscles, your butt will come
forward on that side, towards your head and it will rotate your hips. See if you can sense those
muscles. Contract the muscle on one side and then the other side.

As youre on your hands and knees feeling the rotation of the hips, let that rotation move your
knee forward. There, youre taking your first crawling step. See what you need to do with your
arms to rebalance your position. Then, bring your other hip forward and your other knee forward
and adjust your arms to bring your body into balance again.

From this position, look up and notice whats in front of you. You can begin to notice new
things. There are different things around the environment that look different from this position,
and they may be very attractive to go towards. Before you move towards anything, see if you
can notice and sense the impulse hmm . . . theres an interesting thing over there (person,
pillow, spot on the wall). Its something that you dont have words for yet, but it draws your
attention. Begin to follow that impulse. At this point, you dont have to stay confined to any one
particular place in this space. You can move from one room into another. Begin to sense what
its like now that you can move around. You don' t have to wait for mom and dad to pick you up
and carry you somewhere (it' s like you have the keys to your car now). You can crawl around
anywhere, anytime you want.

One thing that happens at this age is that the world becomes a fascinating place. Its not just an
interesting place but a fascinating one. It becomes the most incredible place that you can
possibly imagine. Theres all kinds of stuff to do and things to look at. Youre beginning to
sense in your body the desire to go towards things, to get away from things, to explore things,
and there just arent enough hours in the day to do it all. See if you can sense that quality as you
move around in this way.

There are things that you can physically grasp and you can start to use your pincer grasp with
your index ringer and thumb to grab onto things and inspect them. Even small things like a little
bit of fluff on the floor.

You also begin to have words for things. Its not always crystal clear, but you begin to have a
sense that this is something and this is something else. This something is something that I
want and this something is something that I dont particularly want. Mine. No. I want.
Mine! You are beginning to build an individual ego.

At some point you find that with the help of some piece of furniture or a wall, you can actually
begin to pull yourself up. First, you can pull yourself up so that youre on your knees, and then
you can pull yourself up to standing. You cant stand alone yet, but with an object or a hand
something that you can hold onto you can use the muscles of your hands and your arms and

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your upper body to pull yourself up and use your legs, too. There may be some grownups
around that you can grab onto and use to pull yourself up. They are happy to be there for you.

You may notice that something is a little different when you can stand up and hold yourself up.
The direction up suddenly takes on new meaning as a direction you are able to go. You may
be able to sense the energy in your body shifting. Get the sense that the energy is moving up
thats the direction to explore now. Theres a whole new world of things on shelves and things
up on countertops that you didnt know were there before, and they just werent in the realm of
possibility.

While youre holding onto things, you can begin to move your legs. You may not be able to
move very far, and your balance is very shaky on your legs, but there is a whole new direction
and whole new dimension thats opened up to you now of up. The more you get used to this
and the more your legs get used to it, pretty soon you can actually let go for a minute and you are
up by yourself. You can stand up by yourself, but to take a step you still need to hold onto
something. What a change, and what an expansive world this is. In a few days, you' ve gone
from seeing things from shoulder height and seeing things up high that you couldnt imagine
getting to, and now you can get to them. You can pull all the books off the bookshelf and scatter
them around the room. Those things on the countertop that you' re not supposed to touch you
can get to those and then watch your mom run across the room to get them from you. Sense
what this is like in your body. Notice where your energy is. Notice how this place is different
from when you were sitting or crawling or lying on the floor. This is a very different place.
Notice if you have a sense of your grounding, if you have a sense of your center from this place,
and notice what your energy is like.

Now, an amazing thing happens. You can begin to take a step without holding on. This is an
amazing new thing. Sense the quality of fascination that you can do this! Mom' s not holding
you up; dad' s not holding you up; the wall'
s not holding you up youre holding yourself up, and
you can do this now. Youve seen those big people do it and now you can do it. As you walk,
notice how that same muscle that you used when you began crawling is being used again to lift
your hip up. See if you can sense this particular muscle (quadratus lumborum). As you do this,
notice that you feel like the world is skys the limit. If you can go from crawling, to sitting up,
to standing, to walking what cant you do? Really sense how exhilarating this is how
thrilling, exciting and fascinating. Notice what kind of world it looks like from this place.

As youre doing this, also have the sense that there are people here. There are people here who
love and care about you. Youre not doing this in a vacuum. There are people delighting in your
new abilities, and every step of the way, they are seeing you and present with you, enjoying your
joy and excitement. They are wanting this for you wanting you to have all the excitement and
joy and wanting you to revel in all of your capacities. They are there with you if youre wanting
to go away from them. If youre wanting to go towards them and have contact, they are present
for that, too. There is delight and love and joy and support through this whole process. Sense
that this joy and love and support is there, not just for this period of time, but for what this is
beginning, for being in the world in the way that these skills and abilities and this excitement and
these impulses are just beginning to open up in you. Sense what that is like being able to feel

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not only delight for your own self, but that you are delightful, with all of your energy, your
curiosity and all of your impulses.

Even when youre throwing books off the shelf, you are still loved and thats understood as part
of it and there'
s something delightful about that too. Even though you had a cup of juice in your
hand and you spilled it all over yourself and someone else could have held the cup so that you
would not have spilled, its still okay that you spilled because thats part of the exploring and the
joy. All of it is part of this wonderful expansion and the new sense of yourself as autonomous.
You can do it yourself, and if you need help you can have just the help you need. If you dont
need help and you dont want it, it' s not imposed on you.

Remember, too, that the ground is not that far away. You can go down to it and then back up,
down and up. Standing is new, and walking is new. You still have a falling reflex that is
working, and it will have just completed by the time youre starting to walk, so youll have more
stability than you had before.

You have feelings, and theyre different than your mothers and fathers and thats okay.

The other side of your experience during this time is all about resting. Youre on quite an
adventure, and its okay to take time to rest.

Sense the ground, and sense your relationship to the ground. See if you can imagine that your
energy at this point will come up as youre learning how to be more up in the world and how
it will go down when youre sitting and crawling. See if you can sense that now its beginning to
balance out, so that theres a smooth flow up and down through your body and its relatively
even. You have the energy to go up and still be connected with the ground as youre going up.
You have the energy to go down still be connected with your capacity expand upwards. You can
sense your center, moving either up or down. Your center may have felt higher up at one point
in doing this, and now its moving down to about where your heart is, and now its located
inside, just a few inches below your belly button.

Take time now to sense your body and let yourself integrate all of this and come into balance
again. Do this for the next couple of minutes. Sense your body. Sense your center. Sense the
ground. Let those senses bring you into all that you are now as an adult, carrying some of this
joy and excitement with you as your adult self.

When you'
re ready, you can come up to sitting. Really take your time. Theres no rush.

Healthy Will Visualization

4th Developmental Stage (2 4 years)

Go back in time . . . see yourself as a 3 or 4 year old boy or girl.

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You are physically filled out now your skin glows with health and aliveness. As a matter of
fact, you are glad to be alive. You feel like the king or queen of your special world. There is so
much you can do now. You can understand everything you are told by your parents, and you just
love them when they are happy with you. It lights up your day. When they are disappointed in
your actions, you feel guilty and sad and angry. You watch everything they do and say, then try
it on, even the slightest nuances. When you play house with your best friend you try to act just
like your mom or dad. Good and bad children and parents are especially interesting to act out.

You are happy in your body these days. You are proud to be the girl or boy that you are. You
watch mom and dad and all your other important people to help you establish a role ego. What' s
a boy or girl like? Your job these days is to figure out who I am. Its a hard job but you are up
to it. You experience your body as a powerful machine. You can run and jump, down and up and
forward. You have a newfound relationship to gravity, direction and speed. You love to play
games where you need to change directions, and you twirl until you fall down. Follow the leader
is a fun game, and these games help you to discover yourself. You have a great love for folk
heroes and play dolls or action toys by the hours.

You have best friends now. When they come to play you, are so happy you run and jump on
them and tumble and fall down. They love you too . . . until they dont, and then, you hate each
other with just as much passion as you love. You want what you want these days and thats how
it is! Mom is good at warning you that in 5 minutes you have to leave, but you still hate it, and
sometimes you holler and cry. She says she understands that you are angry, but you have to go
anyway. You like that she understands all of your emotions and feelings and that you are
allowed to express them. You even like that she holds a limit. It makes you feel safe, since you
can see who the grown-up is in your family and who is the child.

Lately you have had to learn to get along with your baby sister or brother. Shes pretty cute but
sometimes you hate her for stealing mom and dads attention. Sometimes you want to hurt her
and make her go away, but they wont let you, and you have enough containment now to mostly
hold back your impulse. They give you a punching clown instead. and after a while thats OK to
hurt or hate and hit instead.

You have recently been potty trained. Boy was that a lot of work, but pretty interesting too.
Mom let you have plenty of time and didnt bother you with her interest in getting you out of
diapers, and after a while, it just happened on its own. You feel pretty powerful and proud of
this accomplishment and you like being like everybody else.

You can sleep for long hours now, and you kind of like the time alone at night right after you
first go to bed. You think and talk over the day and work out your troubles before going to sleep.
You have a ritual about everything these days, and bedtime is no exception. First a drink, then a
story, then some music. Mom and dad know this and try to honor your needs.

Bad dreams sometimes disturb you after a busy and stressful day. Mom and dad try to comfort
and reassure you so you can go back to sleep when this happens.

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For the most part it sure is fun being alive these days, and you are learning more everyday. You
love cooking, playing, dancing and playing with your friends. Playing is your most favorite
pastime, and mom provides a safe environment so you can explore, touch, taste and manipulate.

Your very best friend these days is Sam (or Samantha), your imaginary buddy. Your parents
dont tease you about Sam or ask too many questions because Sam is special and only for you to
relate to. Their curiosity will only spoil your special relationship to Sam. Sam is magic and is
just friends with you and nobody else.

Mom and dad take care of their own problems. If they have an argument or fight and you get
worried, they reassure you that they will work it out and you don' t have to fix it. They are the
adults, and you are the child. That is a great big relief! You know how much you love them, but
their problems are different than yours. It is their job to take care of you and not the other way
around!

Healthy Love/Sexuality Visualization

5th Developmental Stage (3 6 years)

Begin to make yourself comfortable. Concentrate on your breath and go inside. Breathe in fully
and completely, and then let it all go . . . Thats right, take your time. Breathe in and then out
moving back through time. Begin to see yourself as a 4 to 5 year old child.

Your body is getting stronger, leaner and more coordinated now. As a matter of fact, recently as
you have lengthened out, you have acquired a torso, separating your heart from your genitals.
You don't look like a baby at all any more, but like the girl or boy that you are.

If you are a little girl, you are beginning to feel like a girl and you are curious and interested in
exploring what that means. You watch your mother closely and want to be with her and do as
she does. Often these days, you would rather stay home with her and be close to her. Life feels
good these days, and it is just like you like it, and it should stay just like this thank you very
much!

If you are a little boy, you adore mother also, but in a different way. She is your first love, and
your dream woman, and you fantasize about growing up and marrying her someday. You love it
when she notices you and your adoration for her and says my how youve grown . . . you are
not my little baby anymore but a fine young boy.

Life continues to be more challenging and interesting every day. You love to run and jump and
play balancing games. You can draw and paint and do letters now. Kindergarten or play school
are full of interesting, intellectually expansive ideas and experiences. You are beginning to play
team sports like soccer, but it still looks a little more like a school of fish on the field than like a
complicated game. Dancing and music are taking more form also, and the world is full of
interesting people to watch and imitate. You are especially interested in the gender nuances of

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your same gender and you are constantly exploring what it is like to be in relation to someone of
the other gender. You will probably have your very first deep crush on a little girl or boy in your
class who you have come to idealize the most. Princes and princesses and fantasy characters are
the name of the game. You are an idealist living in an idealized world.

If you are a little girl, you love to play dress-up and make-up and act like your mother, aunts or
other idols. You often want to play house all day but want to be only in your self-chosen role
and dont want to play the role of baby or father no thank you. If you are a boy, you watch
your dad, his male friends, your brothers and cousins. You try on all their different styles of
being masculine and act these nuances out dreaming of what it would be like to have your own
wife or girlfriend.

As a matter of fact, it has recently come to your attention that the biggest differences between
men and women and boy and girls are their genitals. And this is very interesting to sense, feel,
touch and explore. Playing doctor is high on your list of playtime priorities. You and your
playmates of both sexes spend hours behind closed doors playing doctor and you like the new
excitement and change you feel in your body.

Because you prefer your very own idealized view of the world, fantasy runs high on your list of
pleasures. You often feel confused between fantasy and reality, preferring your own unique
view of the world. This confusion between fantasy and reality makes your love for your mother
or father hard to let go of. If you are a boy, for example, you feel so in love with mommy that
you would 1ike daddy to leave. Sometimes when he has taken moms attention away from you,
you get so mad at him that you want him to just die so you can have her all to yourself. You get
jealous watching them hug and kiss and you want her all to yourself. You often dream of
marrying her and becoming a dragon and destroying dad. These dreams make you feel confused
and upset, guilty and sullen.

One night when mommy is putting you to bed and saying goodnight, you give her a great big
kiss and say Mommy, I love you so much I want to marry you and stay with you forever.
Mommy pulls a little back, smiles, looks you straight in the eyes and says, I love you too, but
daddy is my chosen partner and he is not going anywhere. He is my age, and you are a little boy
and my son, not a big man like daddy. Someday, when you grow up, you will choose someone
your own age who you want to marry or be with, and I will be so happy and pleased for you. At
first this is very bad news. Youve been dreaming of mother as your own for a very long time
now. You act out and are fussy over the next few weeks, but mom and dad don' t shame you for
this aggression. They dont scold or tease you about your most precious dreams or fantasies, no
matter how unrealistic they may understand them to be.

Just as you settle down to the reality of the situation that mom and dad are once and for all
together, they invite you for an afternoon at the beach. The three of you go for a walk together,
and you run along in front of them, dancing to the sounds of the surf and picking up sea shells.
When you stop and turn around to see them behind you, you see them in a new way. There they
are, arms entwined, young and happy together. You begin to feel a soft, warm feeling spreading
over your chest and through your heart, seeing them smiling together and waving at you. You

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Bodynamics Developmental Stage Visualizations Theresa Beldon

run back to them and show them your gifts from the sea. It feels good to feel the solidity of their
love and connection to you and to each other.

As night falls, the three of you find shelter in the rocks of the cliff, and dad lets you help make a
fire. He takes off his big bulky sweater and puts it on you and you snuggle in between your
mom and dad as the three of you watch the stars come out and the glitter of the cresting waves as
they splash their foam in the moonlight. As your eyes start to get heavy with sleep, you snuggle
in deeper between your mom and dad and feel grateful to be part of such a loving and safe
family.

Healthy Opinion Visualization

th
6 Developmental Stage (5 9 years)

Go back through your lifetime as an adult. See yourself as a six or seven year old girl or boy.

Just recently you have shot up in height. Your body is becoming more agile and coordinated
everyday. You hold yourself erect and proud, you are excited about growing up strong and
confident. Your thinking ability is beginning to equal your well-established verbal skills.

Mom and dad are still very important in your developing sense of self, but they are no longer the
center of your universe. Now that you are in school, the big and wide world, along with its many
different polarities, is beginning to open up to you. You are fascinated by all the new values and
rules you encounter in school and in your friends families as well. Sometimes you get confused
and frightened by all these differences of opinions and ideas, but it is the job of your parents and
teachers to be respectful of your confusion. They slowly and carefully help you sort out ideas
and build your own unique ideas and opinions in this diverse and interesting world.

For you see in the last year your mind and ability to think has taken a giant leap forward. All of a
sudden, you are interested in the why and wherefore of everything you see and hear. As a matter
of fact, you have accumulated a great deal of knowledge and experience in the six or seven years
you have spent on the planet and you are always seeing opportunities to share this knowledge
with others.

School is often your favorite place to watch and learn about different lifestyles. It is there that
you see ideas and values blend and clash. You often go home and share these opposing values
and opinions with your parents. As you form ideas and opinions of your own, you are becoming
increasingly interested in challenges to your own familys norms and values.

Your parents take the time to listen and often carefully inquire as to why and how you formed
this idea or that. Then often, much to your consternation, they will stick to their beliefs and
values regardless of your suggestions and demands. In a strange way, you find this comforting
because they are teaching you that you can stand for your own ideas and beliefs, and they can
too. Their respect for your ideas and firmness in their beliefs helps you feel safer and more

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Bodynamics Developmental Stage Visualizations Theresa Beldon

secure. Sometimes you hear your mothers or fathers words in your mind when you are
struggling to hold an opinion at school . . . I see you are upset by this rule or opinion, but this is
what we do in this family. Someday, when you grow up, you will have an opportunity to choose
different values and rules to live by.

At school, you are getting better and better at numbers and letters and are even beginning to read
and write a little. You feel proud and excited about your newfound skills. If you hear an
interesting new word, you can get very excited by it and will use it in your vocabulary every
chance you get to impress yourself and your friends.

Recently, you have given up in your deep belief in Santa Claus, as fantasy is slowly making way
for reality in your present view of the world. It takes all your energy not to insist that your
brothers and sisters support this change of opinion much to your parents dismay and chagrin.
But with patient negotiating, they get you to agree to just enjoy the ritual of Santa Claus and give
your 3-year-old brother a chance to have his happy childhood.

Reality testing takes up much of your spare time these days, and you know the difference
between reactions and feelings. Containment, learning to hold on to your excitement and
emotions, is still the name of the game. Using your words is the way out of many difficulties
with friends and family.

Because it is so exciting to spend time with people outside of your immediate family, you are
more and more excited about overnights and outings to strange and unusual places. You love and
admire your teacher, and for that matter, any adult who delights in your inquiring mind,
encouraging you to freely ask questions and examine opinions over and over. You can almost
feel your brain grow!

Recently, you have also begun to understand the various levels and subtle nuances of
relationships between people. You are especially interested in exploring the differences between
your parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. This newfound sharpness makes you sometimes
blurt out fairly outrageous and challenging things just to watch them react. Over time, this game
leads to a form of appropriate diplomacy that makes you be a leader in school as you continue to
learn and grow.

Healthy Solidarity/ Performance Visualization

7th Developmental Stage (7 12 years)

Go back through time, and visualize yourself as a nine to eleven year old girl or boy.

Your muscles are perfectly filled out now and finely toned and flexible. Your favorite thing these
days is to work to develop the capacity for perfect coordination in all you do and or try. Your
motor ability in your hands and feet has become finely tuned and you are capable of all sports.

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Bodynamics Developmental Stage Visualizations Theresa Beldon

The fine arts are now within your scope of experience and capacity. As a matter of fact, sports
and other physical feats are the name of the game these days.

You are able to use your full out power when throwing a ball or in a game of tag or tug of war
and you are learning to draw and paint with more precision as well.

The only thing that sometimes beats aspiring to intellectual and physical heights is hanging out
with your friends. Your parents make a point to go to all of your games, competitions, and
school events whenever possible and you often feel especially proud when your family shows
up. They consistently let you know that they feel happy and proud of you when you perform and
compete and they are always interested in how the performance was for you as well. They are
attuned to the fact that it is important for you to feel supported, so they do it whenever possible.

Sometimes you get discouraged and disappointed and want to stop a particular class or hobby or
sport, and your parents listen to your reasons, explore your feelings and support your decision in
regards to whether you want to continue or not. They teach you the importance of discipline, but
they also let you choose what you are interested in and dont make you continue something for
too long just because they might have helped you choose it originally themselves. Your life is
for you, not for them.

As a matter of fact, they even go so far as to say that it is okay for you to stop trying to excel or
be a leader and to just relax and hang out with your peers. They are careful to let you know that
they love you just the same whether you succeed or fail. It is you who they love and cherish, not
your performance.

Nowadays, your friends are becoming ever more important to you than your parents, and one of
the main jobs of this age is to learn to play and get along with your peers. You are having your
first serious crush on others of the opposite sex. and going out with someone entails hours on
the phone and lots of holding hands and fantasizing.

Because of this emphasis on friendships, one of the biggest challenges for you these days is to
hold onto your position in your peer group. There is a great deal of jockeying around for
power and place. Some days your friends are there, and other days they have vanished. It is
really tough to deal with your disappointment when your best friend takes off with someone else
for the day (or the week) and doesn't invite you to go. Its enough to ruin your whole day.

Sometimes when you are extra upset and emotional about these peer problems you ask your
mom or dad to help you deal with these issues. They take time to help you explore your thoughts
and feelings and they dont shame or tease you about your upset. This negotiation can be tricky
because you have gotten pretty good at covering up your feelings with your words, but your
parents are carefully respectful, and they persevere. After you have explored your feelings and
gotten through these tough spots, they sometimes suggest that you could call another friend and
still go swimming or go on an outing anyway. By the time that they come up with that
suggestion you are feeling less upset and more confident and think what a great idea that is. This
is the kind of time when youre sure you have the greatest parents in the world.

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Bodynamics Developmental Stage Visualizations Theresa Beldon

Yes, these days you are really learning a lot about being in a group. Sometimes you are the
leader at school, and other times you hold back and just relax and are part of the group. But
when it comes to dancing or soccer, you feel so much joy and happiness in this form of
expression you just can' t stop moving. You practice for hours at a time. It feels so good to get
better and better, and your body feels alive and strong and real.

Mathematics these days is a different story. You just cant seem to figure it out. Mom says
thats okay, that you will learn this too, as you are very smart and capable. You just need extra
time and support for these concepts. She helps you understand that you don' t have to excel at
everything immediately and this too you will learn in time. She and dad suggest you get tutored
in math after school, and you know what? It' s working. The old brain can even get this!

Your best friend Joey or Jill has just offered to help you with math as well in exchange for
learning the latest new dance steps or soccer moves. You are finally getting it that there are
some things that you are best at and some things others can do better. Boy, this is a great world.

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